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The sky beyond the trees of the Benoit farm was pink, tinting the clouds a soft gold. Kai could hardly take his eyes off the progression of the sky, marveling at how much closer the clouds here felt than the ones back home. He thought that, if he tried hard enough, he could reach up and touch one.
Beside him, Cinder clutched his hand, fingers intertwined with his. He squeezed her hand, turning his gaze from the angelic sky to look at her, face bathed in golden light and eyes bright with happiness. He was about to say something when Thorne—curse him—snagged Cinder’s attention away.
“Turn the heart eyes off for a moment, your majesticness,” Thorne said, nudging Cinder’s shoulder hard. He pointed at a tree, his hand raised in the air, displaying his missing fingers. “How much do you bet I can climb to the top of that tree?”
“I will never in my life bet anything that you can climb,” Cinder drawled. “Let alone a tree.”
Thorne made a face. “Is this because I’m missing fingers? You don’t think I can climb a tree without them?”
“Please, Thorne,” Scarlet cut in, knife in hand as she cut vegetables at a small camp table. “Not this again.”
“She’s just bitter we won’t let her in the club,” Thorne replied. He stood and placed his hands on his hips, glaring down at Cinder. Kai wrapped his arm around her. “I’m sorry, Cinder, but we took it under consideration, and the cyborg hand cancels out the lack of a hand of flesh and bone.”
“For the millionth time, Thorne, there is no stupid club,” Scarlet said, pointing her knife at him like a witch would a wand.
“And even if there were,” Cinder added, “I wouldn’t want to be in it.”
Thorne turned his gaze to Kai, giving him a look that seemed to ask whether he wanted to go to war with him or not. Kai simply shook his head, and Thorne stomped off, head turning every which way until he found Cress, who was having her hair braided by Winter.
Kai leaned toward Cinder, his lips brushing her ear. “You were pretty bitter when he said he wouldn’t let you be a member of the missing fingers club,” he teased. Cinder rolled her eyes and turned to him.
“You’re just butt-hurt that you weren’t even taken into consideration.”
“How could I be?” Kai postulated, sliding a little closer on the wooden bench. “I’m not—” he held up both hands, wiggling his fingers “—missing any fingers.”
“We could change that,” Cinder whispered, leaning her face closer to his. “I don’t know which method you prefer—gunshot, ax, whatever—but we could make it happen.”
“Hmm,” Kai hummed. His nose brushed hers. Cinder’s lashes fluttered. “Those are some tempting options. But I think I’ll pass for now. Maybe some other time?”
“Sure,” Cinder breathed, lips barely brushing his. Her hand reached up to entangle with his, pulling his arm tighter about her neck. Kai’s eyes closed for only a second, then startled open as someone plopped down beside him.
Kai turned, his heart pounding, having forgotten where he was, to see Wolf. He looked forlorn, despite the tuft of hair Winter—or possibly Cress—had braided with purple ribbon and the festive floral-print button down Thorne had gotten them all. In his hand he held a beautifully red apple with a single bite taken out of it.
“Hey, Wolf.” Cinder smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Hi,” Wolf responded, taking another hesitant bite out of the apple. He grimaced, but continued munching on the fruit all the same. “Scar says if we make a fire we can have s’mores. You guys ever had those?”
“No,” Kai and Cinder said in unison. They looked at each other, goofy smiles tipping the corners of their lips up. Between growing up in a palace and a suspended-animation tank respectively, neither had gotten around to it.
“Oh, well,” Wolf said, “they’re good. You’ll like them.”
“I really wish,” Iko cut in, sitting on the bench beside Cinder and wrapping an arm around her waist, “that you guys would stop talking about how good food tastes while I’m around. It’s annoying.”
“Not as annoying as you,” Jacin said, walking toward the pit before them, a stack of wood in his arms. He wore a rare smile—or, at least, a smile that used to be rare. These days, it was more common than not, but Kai still found it odd to see the once-serious guard happy—carefree.
Iko stuck her tongue out at Jacin, but moved to help him all the same. Kai smiled as he watched his friends, all wearing the same ridiculous shirt Thorne had gotten them for their ‘reunion,’ laughing and talking and enjoying one another’s company again.
It had been Wolf, of all people, who’d suggested the get-together, saying how nice it had been to have everyone at the farm the year before for the wedding. They’d all agreed and decided to make it a thing: a gathering of war heros turned friends, coming together to reminisce and catch up and take a break from their regular—crazy—lives. Of course, they all saw one another from time to time. All of Thorne’s proclaimed ‘Rampion Crew’ was invited to the annual Commonwealth Ball, and most of them still traveled enough to see one another here and there, but the friends hadn’t had a gathering just to themselves since…well, since the war.
“I’m so happy we’re here,” Kai said, tapping the side of his head against Cinder’s.
“You’re not stressed?”
“Not at all,” Kai replied. “I know Torin’s got it all under control. And as excited as I am to marry you, it’s nice to just be with you and not have to make plans about how many guests we’re gonna have, and what colors will decorate the ballroom, and who will marry us.” Kai closed his eyes and released a breath. “It’s nice to just be here. With you, with friends.”
“Without the world watching us.”
“Yeah.”
“I feel…” Cinder paused, feeling out her words. “Young.”
Kai looked at her.
“I know it may sound strange, but I never…well, I never had friends. Or family, really. Except for Peony and Iko. But with everyone here tonight, it feels like home. It’s twilight and there’s laughter in the air and I love every single person who’s here.”
“Even Thorne?” Kai grinned.
Cinder laughed. “Yeah. Somehow.”
“I know what you mean,” Kai said. “About being young. It’s like being happy and light at the same time. Like we can make mistakes and the world won’t collapse in on itself.”
“Like that,” Cinder agreed. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Exactly like that.”
The gang gathered together, Jacin building a fire as the rest settled in on benches surrounding the fire pit. They ate food that Scarlet and Wolf had prepared, and snuggled under quilts Michelle Benoit had made many moons ago. They swapped stories about time shared aboard the Rampion, near death experiences, and all the times that they’d made one another laugh when the world had felt bleak and lifeless.
When they had finished their food, Wolf handed them all little metal poles and placed a bowl of squishy puffs called marshmallows on the camp table. Scarlet and Thorne got to work, stabbing their mallows and moving them over the fire while the rest watched in awe as the white puffs turned golden. Cinder’s fingers tightened on Kai’s as Thorne’s once-beautiful marshmallow caught on fire. Kai laughed as Thorne blew out the flames, revealing a black-crusted mallow, but Cinder only drew herself closer to him.
“Do you want to make one?” Kai asked Cinder. She gave him a tight smile and shook her head. Kai looked at her quizzically, trying to gauge the shift in her mood. He’d seen her eyeing them with curiosity just minutes before, and he knew from almost a year of living together that she was not one to turn down new food experiences.
“Alright,” Kai finally said, shrugging. “I’m going to make one.”
Kai went to the camp table and gathered his supplies, stabbing a marshmallow onto his stick and taking two chocolate cookies as he’s seen Scarlet do for when his mallow was done. At the last second, he grabbed a third cookie for Cinder, knowing for a fact that this she would enjoy.
He raised his stick high above the flames, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees to achieve the optimal angle. He stared at the mallow until his eyes burned, from smoke or concentration he did not know. Leaning back a little, Kai looked around at his friends, smiling. There was Winter, weaving strands of gold through Iko’s blue and purple braids, and Scarlet beside her, talking about this and that as she ate her marshmallow. There was Cress, sitting on the dirt, cooking perfect mallow after perfect mallow and handing them to Wolf, the corners of his lips sticky and white. There was Thorne, who kept catching his marshmallows and fire and bringing them close to a scowling Jacin’s face to blow out for him, even as the once-guard complained that the cadet could easily do it himself. The world felt more whole than Kai had ever known it to be.
“Hey, supreme overlord,” Thorne called over the fire, drawing Kai from his thoughts. “Your puffball is on fire.”
“Oh stars,” Kai hissed, flicking his stick toward his face and blowing on his marshmallow.
Beside him, Cinder jumped, falling off the bench in her effort to get away from Kai. From around the fire, all his friends cried out, some jumping from their seats to get to Cinder. Kai stared for only a moment, then dropped his half-lit mallow into the fire.
“Cinder,” Kai said, hopping over the bench and kneeling beside her. “Cinder, what—”
“Sorry,” Cinder said. She sat up, and it was only then that Kai recognized the expression on her face. Behind the humiliation, she looked scared. “I just… I…”
And then it clicked.
Cinder was afraid of fire. She had been burned nigh unto death as a child, and to this day she still dreamt of those flames consuming her whole. How many times had Kai woken with her after such a nightmare? How many times had he seen her fear of fire written across her face. He felt like the biggest idiot on all of Earth and Luna.
“Are you okay?” Jacin asked, suddenly beside Kai. Iko knelt on Cinder’s other side, looking from Cinder to Kai, trying to figure out what had just happened.
“I’m fine,” Cinder said. She shook her head, shrugging off both Jacin and Iko’s concerns. “Really, guys. I’m fine. I just got freaked for a second.”
“Thought your boyfriend was going to burn your face off?” Thorne asked, extending a hand toward Cinder. She took it and he pulled her up. He tried to smile, but his eyes gave away his concern. “I would jump too.”
“Yeah,” Cinder said, giving them all a half-hearted smile. Jacin patted her on the shoulder, and they all moved back to their seats, leaving only Cinder and Kai standing. He looked at her, and it was then that he noticed that she was holding her right hand. Gently, he took it from her, noticing a small cut on her palm, already bleeding.
“Kai,” Cinder whispered, her voice tense. He knew she didn’t want him to draw attention to it—she didn’t want to bring the mood down.
He dropped her hand, giving her a look. “Come get water with me?” he proposed, picking up his water bottle and shaking it. "All this fire’s got me parched."
She gave him a grateful smile.
Together, the pair trapsed toward the backdoor of the Benoit farmhouse and into the kitchen. Once inside, Kai flicked on the lights and led Cinder to the kitchen table. He found a first aid kit in the bathroom and brought it to where Cinder was sitting.
“I’m sorry,” Kai said, head bent as he took Cinder’s hand, examining her bloodied palm. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Clearly I wasn’t. I mean, after all we’ve been through, you’d think I’d stop being such an idiot, but this just goes to show how dimwitted I can be.”
“Kai. It’s not your—”
“No, Cinder, it is. Dammit, I know you. I know that you hate fire. And yet there I was,” Kai looked up, meeting her eyes, “sitting there perfectly oblivious to you and your discomfort, and flinging something that scares you right at you.”
Kai dropped his gaze again. He rummaged through the first aid kit until he found an antiseptic wipe, then ripped it open, wishing for something stronger to release his anger on. He could feel Cinder watching him.
With careful fingers, he cupped her hand in his, rubbing the antiseptic over the cut, brushing away the blood and dirt until all that remained was a red, angry-looking cut about the length of his pinky nail. He uncapped a tube of ointment and squeezed a drop on the cut, then placed a bandaid on top. He held her hand in both of his own, thumbs smoothing over either end of the bandaid.
“You didn’t fling it at me,” Cinder whispered. She was looking at him, lips downturned. “I overreacted. I do that sometimes.”
“Don’t joke,” Kai said, squeezing his eyes shut. “I should have realized that you didn’t like the fire. I know you hate fire. But I forgot. I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey, don’t say that,” Cinder admonished. She placed her free hand on Kai’s cheek, lifting his face so that he had no choice but to look at her. “I could have said something, but I thought I could manage my fear. This was in no way your mistake.”
“I should have known,” Kai said miserably.
“Kai,” Cinder said, her tone low and sweetly threatening. “I know you better than anyone in the world, but I don't always know what's going on inside your head. I don’t always remember every single detail about you, even when I know them. I can’t read your mind, and the same goes for you.”
Kai let out a breath. His eyes searched hers for any trace of lingering fear or any resentment, but found only fondness.
“I feel awful.”
Cinder laughed. “I know. I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to make you a politician, because you are the words at disguising your emotions.”
“I can do it when I have to,” Kai grumbled, his cheeks turning pink.
“You can,” Cinder said, nodding. “But not with me. You’re all you when you’re with me. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
Kai grunted, but smiled all the same.
Cinder leaned forward and kissed him, trying to say everything he couldn’t seem to understand. She kissed him until all the frustration—the fear, the disappointment with himself—evaporated.
“Now,” Cinder said, her face inches from his, “what do you say we go back out there and you make me one of those s’mores?”
“Only if you make me sit on the ground,” Kai said.
“The Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth upon his throne of dirt,” Cinder said. She gave him a peck on the cheek and took his hand, leading him out the back door. “You better not let the media hear about that one."