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Cacao paced around his room, not getting any sleep for who knew how many nights in a row now. A quick glance out the window showed light at the very edge of the horizon, dawn slowly coming.
He sighed
A few hours. A few pitiful hours of sleep he'd managed. He was tired of his demons keeping him up at night. Even his advisers could tell something was wrong. And he played it off, he had to play it off. He had to be ok, he had to be strong, he had to stand tall and lead everyone.
But he was slowly crumbling under the pressure he'd made for himself.
He couldn't handle this much longer. He wasn't fine. He was broken, old, and so damn tired. He was lonely, and missed his son dearly.
It was a curse.
Of course it was a curse! He never should have believed Choco had wanted to do that. He drove his own damn son away! His pride and joy. His little boy.
He now looked more broken than Cacao felt. And he left. He left to who knows where because he'd failed him so fundamentally. He was such a bad father, such a bad king. His kingdom had started to slowly fall to ruin because of him. He should never have listened to that snake either.
But look at him, gripping the windowsill with enough force that it was slowly starting to crack and splinter under his hands.
Cacao made a small, choked noise as he looked out the window. He couldn't do it. He couldn't dress up and act like everything was fine today. He couldn't pretend not to be a mess today. So utterly broken.
Trembling now, he slowly slid to the floor and curled up on himself. He couldn't stop the tears this time. The strong, quiet, stoic king was finally reduced to a crying mess.
And no one knew.
.
.
.
"He hasn't come out of his room yet, First Watcher, what do we do? He was supposed to meet the other ancients today, Pure Vanilla is already here!"
"I'm not completely sure, Second Watcher sir. I'll go tell Pure Vanilla he's…. ill disposed right now."
"He's a healer though. What if he insists on seeing him?"
"Would that actually be a bad thing? He's a healer. Maybe he could help with whatever's wrong."
"True, that is very true. I'll stay here to make sure no one else enters."
"Thank you. I'll go down to his chambers now to tell him. Lucky for our liege, the others were delayed by a snow storm, although luckily they are safe."
.
.
.
A knock.
"Pure Vanilla sir? May I come in?"
"Oh absolutely Caramel Arrow my dear,"
The healer called out. He had just been dusting off his staff, in truth. The door opened and he turned it so he could see the blurry outline of the cookie getting closer. She came more and more into focus as she got closer.
"What seems to be the issue? Is someone hurt?"
He asked, seeing how the young cookie looked worried.
"Maybe? My king hasn't emerged from his room, nor is he answering us. The meeting might be delayed today, for more reason than just the others being delayed."
"Oh dear, can you lead me to his room please? I'll see what I can do for my old friend,"
Vanilla asked, standing up. Caramel nodded, smiling a little.
"Right this way sir,"
.
.
.
"Cacao? Are you in there friend?"
Vanilla called through the door.
No response.
"Cacao if I don't get an answer I'm coming in,"
Still nothing.
Vanilla sighed softly and opened the door slowly, expecting literally anything but what he saw.
He closed the door very swiftly, but quietly.
"Cao Cao,"
He said softly, walking forward slowly.
"My bittersweet bean. What happened? Are you…. Going to be alright?"
"No!"
He yelled, sniffling as he looked up at vanilla, eyes bloodshot from crying so long.
"No I'm not. I'm so broken and I can't even-"
"Cacao!"
Vanilla said as he swiftly went over to the other cookie, dropping his staff even. He scooped cacao up in his arms, pulling him close.
"What do you mean Cacao? How are you broken? Your such a sturdy cookie, I've never met anyone stronger,"
"That's the point! I can't keep up the facade! I've done so, so much I regret! I could never do right by my son, I can't do right by my kingdom. I let a snake get close to me and almost destroy everything. I've failed. I've failed everyone so, so badly and I can't keep pretending nothings wrong!"
He was very openly sobbing now, gasping in big deep breaths between the crying and talking. Vanilla, for his part, listened and rubbed the others back.
"I can't let my citizens see me as anything other than the strong, emotionless king I've been! I need to stay strong for everyone. But I've fucked up so much shit, vanilla, I've ruined so much. So, so much. Just look at what's happened with my own son! He was cursed, vanilla! Cursed! Yet I kicked him to the curb without even questioning why he'd suddenly attack me! What kind of parent does that to their kid??"
"Cacao. You're not perfect. No one's perfect, you're going to make mistakes."
"I'm a king! I need to be better for my people! I can't make mistakes when it would affect them! They rely on me,"
"It's alright Cacao, it's ok. You're not perfect, and you've made a few mistakes. Everyone's made mistakes, no one can be perfect. What matters is if you learn from them, learn from your demons."
"I am a demon, I feel, with what I've done."
"Cacao! You're just a cookie! You're not a demon, just a cookie, and there's a reason you acted the way you did, you were hurt and blinded in the moment. Now you know what went wrong and you can try to fix it. You can seek out your son, and make sure he knows you love him. Do you blame him for what happened?"
"No! No I don't, it was a curse!"
"Then make sure he knows that! Make sure he knows he's welcome,"
Vanilla said, now gently rubbing the top of cacao's head.
"Cacao, you've been bottling things up a long while, haven't you? It's not healthy to do that, my friend. It causes this."
He gently moved his hand, now cupping cacao's face. His thumb gently rubbed his cheek.
"You're having a mental breakdown. All that negativity you bottled up is eating you out alive from the inside. It's a poison. You need to cry it out when you're sad, cacao, you need to let it all go when it comes."
Vanilla continued, cacao just quietly watching him and listening. He was still crying tears, but he was nowhere near as bad as he'd been before. Vanilla was finally managing to calm him down some.
"Maybe cut back on the stoic attitude a little cacao,"
"What would my people say though?"
"They'd respect the fact that you're being more open and honest with them."
He said simply.
"Be honest with yourself, ok?"
Vanilla added before gently kissing the top of cacao's head.
"It hurts me so much to see you hurting so deeply,"
Cacao looked startled at him, not expecting the kiss or such soft, tender words from the other king.
"It's alright, it's ok, cacao. It's alright, it's going to be ok. Tomorrow will be a better day. You look as if you haven't slept in ages, why don't we go cuddle together? See if you can get some much needed rest."
"Wouldn't it be better if I drank some water first?"
Vanilla chuckled softly.
"Yes, but I was going to take it one thing at a time, and get you some water once we were situated."
He said as he stood up, cacao still in his arms.
"W-wait, how strong are you???"
Vanilla laughed.
"Enough to lift you my dearest... friend!"
Cacao paused, it had been slight, but there had been hesitation there.
Vanilla walked over to the big bed, setting Cacao down before pouring him a glass of water. Cacao drank it slowly, not wanting to upset his stomach after crying so long. The last thing he needed was to throw it back up when he knew his body needed it.
Vanilla smiled as he went to the door and cracked it open.
"Cacao is going to have the day off today, if you could bring in dinner later, and check before bringing lunch, I'd appreciate it greatly,"
"Noted! Thank you Pure Vanilla,"
"No problem Caramel my dear,"
He said before closing the door and going back over to cacao, getting under the blankets and covering himself and cacao.
"Come on, then, try to get some rest, ok?"
Cacao chuckled a little softly, but then yawned.
"Of course, my Vanilla orchid. We've much to talk about later,"
"Oh? Only if you want to cacao,"
"I do,"
He said softly as he snuggled against vanilla.
"I think I finally need to be honest with you,"
"I look forward to it my bittersweet bean,"
Vanilla said softly, once more gently rubbing cacao's head as the other king swiftly fell asleep against him, his demons no longer keeping him awake.
"It's alright now, isn't it,"
Vanilla whispered softly to himself.