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Grian went to Scar in the first quiet moment he could find that first day, the first moment he was sure that the implacable attention of their audience was turned elsewhere. He wasn’t sure who was being so exciting or what they were doing, but it hardly mattered. Ever since the season’s “twist” had been announced, ever since the soulbond had snapped into place with a wash of electric blue magic and the scent of a desert wind, every other concern had been swept aside. He had to get to Scar.
He found his newly-minted soulmate in the birch forest, putting a pretty wooden facade onto a small cave. Hobbit holes were a classic first home for a reason, and this one looked like it would be a beauty. Grian hadn’t even announced himself when Scar turned to him, lighting up with excitement as he rushed over. “Grian! Grian, did you feel it? Okay, that was a silly question, of course you felt it. Did you know that your soul feels like feathers?” He swept Grian into his arms, a tight hug that Grian couldn’t help but return. “I wasn’t even surprised though, who else would it be? Do you want to see the base I’m making? It’s going to be small but cozy, lots of room to build from-”
“Scar-” Grian tried to cut in, but wasn’t quite able to interrupt the torrent of words. Scar had so many plans for their home, which sounded more like a project meant for a peaceful world than a defensible base. He still hadn’t let go of Grian. “Scar, we have to talk.”
“I want to talk!” Scar agreed eagerly. “We have so many plans to make! This is going to be amazing!”
Grian reached up and gently put his fingers over Scar’s mouth, stilling him. “We don’t have much time,” he insisted. “They aren’t paying attention right now, and they don’t know we’ve found each other. This may be our only chance to really talk. We can’t do this.”
“What do you mean?” Scar asked. “Can’t do what?”
“This!” Grian insisted, pulling free of Scar’s arms and gesturing around them. “We can’t play house, we can’t get cuddly. We can’t be soulmates!”
“Why not?” Scar’s voice was suddenly much quieter, his face a breath away from a heartbreak that made Grian want to personally strangle every watcher responsible for their situation. “I thought… the last game was so hard. Don’t you want-”
“Of course I want you!” Despite his protests, despite his own common sense, Grian closed the scant distance between them, practically climbing his soulmate to press kisses against his forehead, his cheeks, his lips. “I will always love you, I will always want you,” he promised, his words no louder than a whisper. “No death game is ever going to change that.”
“Then why can’t we have this?” Scar asked helplessly, locking his arms around Grian once again. “They’re letting us…”
“They’re not,” Grian insisted, shaking his head almost desperately. “They’re never going to let us have anything. You know they’re not.” He looked up at Scar, searching his face for comprehension. “They don’t understand kindness or compassion or mercy. All they want is a story.”
“We can give them that!” Scar insisted. “Who doesn’t love a love story?”
“They don’t understand real love!” Grian countered. “They’re too jaded for feelings to mean anything at all. Love is boring to them unless it hurts! They don’t want to see us happy because happy people are boring. And they don’t want to see us together because they’ve seen that story before.”
Understanding bloomed suddenly across Scar’s face, followed closely by fear. “But they put us together anyway,” he murmured. “Because they can hurt us by tearing us apart.”
“Yeah,” Grian agreed quietly. “Just having your health and life tied to someone else is a liability, but having a soulmate you love? That’s a noose around your neck. The more they think we care about each other, the tighter they can pull the noose.” He ran his fingers under the collar of Scar’s battered leather jacket, over his neck as though to assure himself that the bond wasn’t literally wrapped around their throats.
Scar cursed softly, a word he’d never dare use if they were being watched. “I won’t let them use me to hurt you again,” he swore. “You have a plan, right? You always have a plan.”
The words seemed to stick in Grian’s throat. “I have a plan,” he agreed, “but it’s a bad one. We can’t take the noose out of their hands, but we can make them believe it isn’t going to choke us. We did it almost by accident last game, when we were trying to stay apart for safety. I think if we play it right, we can make them believe we don’t care much about one another anymore. If two soulmates don’t even like each other, they’re not very good hostages for one another, right?”
“I’m not sure I can do that,” Scar admitted, bending his head so his forehead touched Grian’s. “I’m not that good an actor.”
“You’re an amazing actor,” Grian corrected with a half-laugh, “and you can sell water to endermen, but it’s okay. I can do the heavy lifting on this one. I’ll be the worst soulmate anybody’s ever seen, and all you have to do is be annoyed with me.”
“Ah, I see we’re channeling that inner gremlin,” Scar teased halfheartedly. “Maybe we can delay meeting up, pretend we can’t even find each other. Or I can pretend not to notice? I think I can sell that.”
Grian nodded.”Good, that’s good thinking. And I can be annoyed about that, really get us off on the wrong foot.” He took a deep breath. “I might have to go after another person to be my fake soulmate, if we’re really going to pull this off.”
He could feel his soulmate flinch, felt the brief stab of pain in his own heart, but there was only mild interest in Scar’s eyes when he asked “Does that mean I get to kill them when we go red?” Scar really was a better actor than he gave himself credit for.
“Maybe,” was all Grian could say. “We’ll see how it goes. We’ll see if it works at all.” They were running out of time already, he could feel it. Whatever had been amusing the watching eyes was drawing to a close, and they’d soon be looking for something new. “It won’t be forever,” he promised, giving Scar one more kiss full of all the things he still needed to say before they parted. “I’m still looking for the way out.”
“Not forever,” Scar repeated, and Grian could feel in his own bones the effort it cost to not grab hold when Grian stepped away. “And there’ll be quiet moments, right? Like this, when no one is looking?”
Grian nodded. “Every moment we can find.” He took another step away but couldn’t bring himself to leave the little clearing, abandon what would’ve been their home and all it could have been.
Scar seemed to understand the problem. “Well,” he chirped, his sad eyes and broken smile belying the brightness of his voice, “see you in the funny pages, I guess.” Pulling a stone axe from his inventory, he briskly began destroying the house he’d just built. “Be safe!”
“You too,” Grian choked out, and ran. With any luck, he could spend the next few days “looking” for his soulmate before the charade had to begin. He’d be ready by then.