Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You knew it would be strange at first, going to sleep and waking up in another world at night only to wake up and not remember anything from the night.

But nothing could've prepared you for when it actually happened

Your day had been quite uneventful, you spent most of it working on late assignments and cleaning. Letting the drowsiness take its course, you fell asleep

It felt like falling. Falling but not falling through the air, more like falling through water, just to come up on the other side. Taking a breath of air you scan your surroundings, it was a large field with a cliff not far showcasing clear blue waters as far as the eye could see and lined with trees. Your eyes landed on black hair. it was a man with his knees to his chest facing the water. Hesitantly you walked up to him, still keeping your distance “uh, hey.”

He whipped around, seemingly startled by the sudden voice. After seeing it was a person he untensed slightly. You waited for an answer, but after realizing he wasn't going to give you one you spoke again. “It's pretty isn't it?” he didn't bother to look your way and offered a hum in agreement. Not liking the awkward tension you looked down and started fidgeting with your hands. For some reason, this was all hitting you at once and it was a little overwhelming. You picked at the skin around your nails trying to slow your breathing.

“Are you okay?’ he said his voice traveling in the wind, opting to look at the trees to avoid eye contact you responded, “it's all just a little overwhelming don't you think?” he shook his head seemingly providing an answer. “I mean like, all of this.” your hands waving vaguely “you.” you waved your hands more in his vicinity. “And when I wake up won't remember any of it, and neither will you”

“So?”

You scoffed slightly annoyed “so- Why are we here? Where are you from? Is any of this even real?”

He waved away your concern “ how much time do you think we have in here? doubt this place is anywhere real, It's too nice to be earth”

“At least we're stuck someplace pretty”

He hummed in agreement

“You don't talk much do you?” you said curiously

“I don't find it necessary to engage in meaningless conversations”
“Ah sorry, we don't have to talk then,” you said not wanting to make your soulmate uncomfortable. You took the silence as an opportunity to take in his features. he was pale and skinny with black messy hair, crouching in an odd position. He had on a long-sleeve white shirt and baggy jeans, wait. Jeans? Did your soulmate seriously fall asleep in jeans?

He looked over at you sensing you staring at him, you laid down on your back and looked at the sky. “The grass is really soft here,” you said just thinking out loud “and the sky here is so, so..” you paused trying to think of the right word.

“blue?” he offered to try to help you find the words “So blue! Isn't it all amazing!”

“Yes it's quite the sight to look at” he added, but at that moment he wasn't looking at the blue sky or the clear water or the beautiful scenery. He was looking at you,

At that moment the question came like the flick of a light switch, “hey I need to ask you something before we wake up”

“What is it?” he replied quietly

“Whats your nam-”

You woke up to the loud sound of an alarm, you groaned leaning over to turn it off. For some reason when you awoke there was a word that was stuck in your head on the tip of your tongue, You shrugged it off thinking that ‘dream you’ would figure it out soon enough. Waking up with missing memories was a weird feeling alone but waking up early on a Sunday was just as strange.

Chapter Text

The day went by in a flash, not bothering to dwell on the memories of the night prior knowing that the memories just won't come back no matter how hard you dwell on them.

Closing your eyes for the second time since the adventures had started, you again let the wave wash over you. Still not used to the feeling, you clenched your jaw waiting for it to be over.

Yet again you’re back in the field near the cliff, with newly grey clouds rolling in. You scan your eyes around looking for the black-haired man, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Before you could think to worry if anything had happened to him, he poofed into existence in the grass right next to you. You took a breath of relief. he seemed to be deep in thought, too focused to notice you.

He didn't seem to be in a good mood, it looked like there was something specific on his mind. You lie on your back in the soft grass, staring at the now grey sky.

“Looks like rain,” you said with a slight smile. you've always liked the rain, the sound, the smell, and even how it looked as it fell from the sky
He was pulled out of his trance and looked up at the sky with you and hummed in agreement at your statement.

“what are you thinking about? You seem pretty lost in thought today” you said in hopes of starting a conversation.

“There's a new case that I've been tasked with solving and its quite strange”

“A case? Are you some sort of police officer or something?” you said confused

“I'm a detective,” he said simply as if it was the most common profession.

“What kind of case is it?” you said, now intrigued with this case that the man spoke of

“Criminals across japan are mysteriously dying of heart attacks and the police force doesn't know how to go about solving it so, they hired me”

“And your sure it's not just some freak coincidence that they're all dying?”

“No, the killer started calling himself ‘Kira’

Okay, so your soulmate is a detective, tasked with finding a mysterious killer that gives people heart attacks. Isn't he worried he could be killed for trying to put this ‘Kira’ in jail?

You opened your mouth to speak but shut it because you couldn't find the words to say.

“What about you? How was your day?’’

This took you by surprise because he said previously that he didn't like small talk, yet
he's trying to keep the conversation going

How was your day? You had wanted to sleep in because tomorrow was Monday and you would have to go back to school, but like every Sunday your mother had woken you up with the repeated flicking of the light switch saying “how are you tired, it's not like you do anything anyways” or some simple variation of that.

“It was… busy,” you said with a far-off tone in your voice

“Busy?”

You hummed subconsciously.

Suddenly the sound of something beeping surrounded you and you turned to his gaze

“Do you hear that?”

His eyes scanned the sky before landing on yours

“Hear what?”

As soon as those words left his mouth, you were back in your room

You woke up with tense knots in your stomach but didn't have time to think about it before your mother came barging into your room.

Chapter Text

You had successfully gotten up and out of bed in 15 minutes, not that anyone had cared. Your mom was doing her makeup for work as she usually does in the morning. Grabbing your bag you were about to walk out of the door but from the bathroom, you hear your mom yell “don't forget to take the trash out! You always forget” sighing you grabbed the trash and continued out the door. Mumbling to yourself as you tossed it in the bin “have a great day y/n! Don't worry about the trash, I’ll take care of it! -- Thanks mom you too!”

10:46 pm
Despite all of your late-night studying you still managed to get a ‘B-’ on your test. Mom won't be happy about this, doesn't she realize that you want amazing grades too? You weren't getting B’s and C’s on purpose...

It seems like ever since she and dad split up she's been spending all her energy on keeping me in shape. She's barely spending any time for herself, spending all days drawing in work. Is this a better or worse scenario?

5:23 pm
After walking to the convenience store after school to get a drink, you started home.
Surprisingly the porch light was on, usually, you had to turn it on yourself because your mom always forgot to. You walked into the house and were surprised to see your mom on the couch on a phone call instead of in her bedroom. After seeing you walk in she told whoever she was talking to that she had to go and stood up.

“y/n l/n where have you been”

“Sorry, I always come home at this time.” Not that she ever noticed before.

“It’s far too late for you to be out. --*her eyes thinned*-- Unless you’re out so late to meet up with someone. A secret partner?”

“No mom, I don't have a secret partner.”

She crossed her arms in doubt. You really wanted this conversation to end.

“I have to go, study mom, I’ll talk to you later.”

You could practically feel the death glare she gave you as you walked to your room

In truth, you didn't actually have anything to study for. You walked into your room and threw your bag on the floor, got changed, and dropped down onto your bed.
Opening your laptop, you put on your favorite show and drifted to sleep as the voices jumbled in the background. Now embracing the feeling of falling, you let the air blow by.

The cliff was back, and so was he. Walking towards him your usual peppiness gone today, you slumped down next to him

“Hey, I just realized that I don't know your name yet.”

Without turning to you he responded

“Just call me L”

“Like the letter? That's a pretty cool name, haven't heard anything like it”

That made him turn to you

“What's yours?”

“y/n. y/n l/n” you said with a smile

“So how was your day today? Any new leads on this mysterious ‘Kira’ case?”

“Not particularly, Matsuda has been extra annoying today, How was yours? Anything interesting?”

Brushing along the fact that you had no idea who this ‘Matsuda’ character was you proceeded to tell him about your day

“Just the usual, I went to the convenience store after school today and when I got home my mom yelled at me for hanging out with my secret partner”

Doing air quotations around the words ”secret partner”. Apparently, he was really bad at reading sarcasm because he made a really confused face.

“You weren't… doing that… right?”

You laughed, shaking your head

“No, unfortunately, I do not have a secret partner at the moment”

He nodded,

Before you knew it, you were pacing, remembering how you didn’t get the chance to tell your mom about the grade you got on your test. Last time you came home with anything less than an ‘A’ she took all your devices away and didn’t let you out of your room until you had the information engraved in your mind.

He noticed, turning his full body to you to seemingly signify you had his full attention.

“What wrong?” he said slightly concerned

You lifted a hand to your mouth trying to mask a smile. You took a deep breath and mimicked his moves from earlier. Now sitting directly in front of him, you didn’t say a word.

Unconsciously you were staring at him, his eyes were darker than you originally thought and he had really dark eyebags as if he hadn't slept in a while. Your focused gaze dropped slightly to his lips, your own forming a slight smile

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“No- it's nothing sorry-” you said, embarrassed that you had been caught staring

“So..? what's wrong then?”

“I kinda got a bad grade on a test and I'm not too excited for my mom's reaction”

“Well, what's the grade? I highly doubt my soulmate isn't intelligent”

You laughed under your breath, “I got a B-.”

Sighing, “I’m not the one who thinks it’s bad. It's my mom. Anything less than an A is --*you paused doing your best impression of her*-- completely unacceptable.”

“Then it's not your problem, it's hers”

“Yeah but, --*you looked down and twiddled your thumbs*-- she's still my mom…”

He didn't have time to respond before you rolled awake in your bed.

Chapter Text

It was Tuesday, and you were right to worry about your mom's reaction to the grade,

“Are you serious y/n. I've been working my you-know-what off for your sake, the least you could do is keep your grade up it's because youve been slacking off at the stupid convenience store isn't it. I want you to come directly home after classes, no unnecessary detours.”

The moment you walked through the door; she was there with her hand out. Ready to take your phone.

You spent most of the time studying, not wanting to get on her bad side more. Though you didn’t do much in all, the day was tiring. Mentally and physically.

That night, sleep took you without resistance.

Fireflies twinkled in and out of your sight it was finally nighttime wherever this was, and it was beautiful.

Once again you got there earlier than L, taking advantage of the extra alone time you walked along the trees, led only by the moonlight. You noticed the trees get thicker as it goes along.

Waving in the wind you saw a single dandelion and picked it as you thought he would enjoy it.

Walking back to your spot in the field you lay down on your back with your eyes closed. dandelion in hand, you waited for him to show up.
You heard his footsteps walk up and drop down next to you in silence

“So how did it go with your mom?”

“Oh yeah, amazing. Couldn’t have gone better.” Your voice was dripping in annoyance. Not towards him. Towards her

“Sorry,” he mumbled and grasped your pinky with his

You didn't want to freak out so you just stayed still. You sat in comfortable silence.

Realizing you were still holding the dandelion in your other hand you turned to him

“Here, I picked this for you”

He grabbed it out of your hand, holding it in between his index finger and his thumb and twirling it slightly

You laughed at his awkward way of holding it and looked back up to the sky.

he stared at it for a minute and then looked back at you. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your nose, and then down to your lips.
You looked back at him, noticing he was still staring at you. Your eyes met and It seemed as if the whole forest behind you was at a standstill

Soulmates may be fated, but does that mean you're destined to fall in love with them?

A flash of light, miles away on the ocean. You both jumped at the sudden sound of a single strike of thunder. Funny odds, considering there was not a single cloud in the sky that night.

You woke up to yet another morning of your mother flicking the light switch repeatedly.

Chapter Text

Getting ready within 20 minutes you were out the door off to school, not bothering to take out the trash even though you knew your mom would be mad again.

3:12

When you got home your mom talked your ear off about how she works too hard for her to be doing chores and that you should've taken out the trash on your way out the door. You didn't really listen to her and after she had walked away to her room you had done the same, having a rough day, your teacher had gotten you to study during your only break period because your grades were slipping, the vending machine ate your dollar and your mechanical pencil ran out of lead. It seemed like whoever was running your life didn't like you today.

5:25

You got out of bed to make yourself some food, opting to make some pizza rolls as you were too tired to actually cook yourself anything. Taking your plate to your room you ate your food on your desk while watching your favorite YouTuber.

After a while you lay down on your bed, wanting nothing more than to sink into sleep. It had been such a long day and you just wanted to disappear. Embracing the feeling of falling you were back, you were starting to love the look of those endless trees. You were there before him, like usual. As soon as you showed up, it started to rain. Running to take cover under the trees, you sat down, leaning against a tree to wait for him to show up.

He never did.

You waited for what seemed like hours, waiting for him. After realizing the rain wasn't going to stop and he wasn't going to show, you stopped waiting for him.

You wandered into the forest, knowing that you'd be here forever if you didn't do something. The rain started to clear and animals were starting to come back out from hiding. One animal caught your eye, it was an orange tabby cat that stood out against the green and brown setting. You stuck your hand out and started clicking your tongue in hopes to draw it over to where you are, and it walked away. you had nothing better to do so you followed it. Leading you to a small field full of dandelions. After arriving at its location the cat stopped walking and started rubbing its body on your legs.

You bent down and started petting the cat. You decided that that was enough adventuring for today, and sat next to some trees. The cat followed and sat next to you. You sat for a while until you were pulled out of your dream with the sound of an alarm clock.

It was starting to get annoying waking up with all these mixed emotions, ‘dream you’ really needed to get their feelings in check.

You got up out of bed to start the day

You were a little irritated. not knowing why, you just ignored it.

The day came and went like a blown-out candle. You were grateful today was a relaxed day as far as school went, or as relaxing as school could be. It wasn't the best day ever, but you couldn't complain.

When you went to sleep that night, you were happy.

There was a nice cool breeze and it was sunny, and L was there before you.

Upon seeing him, you let out a sigh of relief

He sat with his knees pressed to his chest facing the skyline.
You resisted the urge to put a skip in your step, thinking it’d be too embarrassing. You sat down next to him copying his stance

“Hey,, L?” you hesitated, questioning if you should even ask about yesterday

“Hm?”

“Why- why weren't you here yesterday?”

“I was busy with the Kira case.”

“Do you always stay up all night on cases?-”

“Usually, yes. Big cases are ones that need 24-hour monitoring.”

“Oh, and there's no one else that can do it?”

“No, I'm the only one that can.”

“Alright, but don't do it too often or I won't be able to see you.. Okay?”

He laughed a little at your worry that your soulmate would never sleep again

“Don't worry, ill be back”

“Good, I like being here with you.”

L was sitting knees to his chest and you were sitting cross-legged looking off at the ocean before L turned and looked at you,

“I have a question,”

“Ask away,” you said still looking at the ocean

“Do you have feelings for anyone?”

You sat up straighter. “Like right now?”

“Yeah, anyone special up there?” he pointed up to the sky

Does awake you have feelings for anyone? You really didn't think of anyone like that, dream you though? Now that was a different story
You shook your head. “Nope, wait- do you?” it would honestly be kind of weird if he was interested in someone considering you guys were soulmates, but still. He didn't answer, just staring at you like your eyes held the perfect response. You shifted awkwardly at his staring and in response he looked away

“No, I don't think ‘real world me’ has any feelings for anyone”

Your hands were resting next to each other in the grass. Reaching out, you linked his pinky with your own
The sun hit your skin like a fleeting kiss, a breeze brushing your hair from your neck. His pinky against yours was like a long-lost feeling that felt right in all ways. Even when you didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, being here with him; you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Spending the rest of the night imagining how a lifetime of these moments must feel.

that morning, you woke up smiling.

Chapter Text

You woke up on Thursday morning, a smile coming to your face. Despite this week feeling like a long drag, you made it through most of the week, and it was almost the weekend. Successfully avoiding your mother after school you shut your bedroom door. Not that it was hard; she was always cooped up in her room doing stuff for work.
You went to sleep that night, prepared to meet the mysterious man of your dreams. Literally.
When you felt the sensation of falling, just like every night- you let yourself be surrounded by it.

Opening your eyes, you were met with a night sky yet again. But the atmosphere was different, the lightness in the air was gone and replaced by a thick weight of humidity. A sharp edge of cold cut through you, and there was even fog covering the soft grass around you. The branches that are usually covered in colorful birds, now hold a single owl perched on a thick leafless branch. The bird gave a low hoot and then flew away, its flapping wings echoing through the night. Doing a full 180 turn, you further confirmed that the setting was different than usual.

You realized that there was an added heaviness on your back that wasn't there before.
Reaching your arm around, your hand caught hold of a handle. The sound of smooth metal against leather came as you pulled it out of its sheath, a sword.

You were holding a sword. In a spooky forest. Alone. Not for long it seemed. L appeared next to you, sword cast upon his hunched back. Catching sight of his outfit, you laughed. He looked as if he just stepped out of a storybook, one where he was not the prince.

He looked at your outfit before looking down at his own, he had a white button-up shirt on under a button-up vest with baggy pants and thick boots

He quirked an eyebrow at hearing your snicker, his gaze went from your eyes to your surroundings

“Where are we?” he did the same turn you did earlier

You shrugged “ don't know, I just got here”

“We should probably find some way out of here. I think we’re in the middle of the forest.” Was this obvious? Yes. Did you still suggest it? Yes.

It was the forest that remained the backdrop for every one of your encounters. Until now.

“Nice outfit by the way”

You frowned confused, glancing down it clicked into place. He wasn't the only one with a change of clothes. You were wearing a white sleeveless shirt with a button-up collar and loose-fitting black pants with similar big black boots to him

While you were walking along the forest you noticed that because of his height he walked unusually fast and you had to jog a little to catch up, not wanting to be left alone in this unusually quiet piece of the forest.

“I guess it makes sense if you think about it.”

“What?” he kept trudging on, ear catching your words.

“This situation we’re in. At the end of the day, this is supposed to be our dreams, so the possibilities are really endless.”

He hummed, agreeing. His steps stopped. You ran into his back, having been following him close behind.

“Ah- L. what-”

Going to lean around him, you froze. There were a dozen pairs of slit golden eyes blinking back at the both of you. They peeked out from behind wide tree stumps and through sparse spots in the brush.

He reached for your hand and took a slow step back, nudging you to do the same. Holding your breath, you made it 5 steps back before one of the golden-eyed creatures lurched out of hiding. L grabbed your hand and then shot off running

you kept pace beside him, despite your lack of athletic ability. Weaving in between the wide-rimmed trees, the sound of chittering behind kept you from even thinking about slowing down.

“There!” his voice came out gruff, gasping for air. He changed directions, heading for whatever caught his eye.

You saw it. A faint glow of light. The smell of smoke. A window. A cabin. Getting closer and closer, the details filled themselves in. The door was rounded, a smooth carved wooden cloud for a handle. He threw it open and launched his weight on it once inside. You leaned over, catching your breath.

The door rattled against him, but soon thereafter fell still. For safe measure, you handed him a chair to put under the handle. Blocking any unwanted visitors.
You sighed looking around the room. There was a small fireplace and a pitcher of water on a makeshift wooden table. You sat on the other chair and poured some water into the mugs set next to the pitcher. handing one of the mugs to him, you both silently drank the water and caught your breath

“That was crazy.” you said as you looked out the thick glass window that separated you from whatever was out there

“I almost want to go out there to investigate whatever it is that just happened”

“Please do not do that.”

“I said almost, didn’t I?” he said with a slight smirk, A flush threatened to appear but you willed it away. He still looked great, not at all like he was just sprinting through a muggy forest. You stifled, realizing you probably weren’t so lucky.

Looking around, you saw a mirror against the far wall. Was that there before? Now that you thought about it, you couldn’t recall the pitcher being there when y’all first barged in. Weird.

Walking up to it, you were surprised to see that it had taken no toll on your appearance.

Catching his eyes in the reflection, you smiled.

“Hey, we have matching earrings.” he said as his hand trailed up to his ear. You looked back up to the mirror and found that he was right. The same blue claw-like earrings

“You pull them off pretty well” it was the truth

“I think blues more your color than mine”

Your eyebrows raised “oh yeah?”

He stilled, realizing his unintentional compliment “yeah” he let out, a step above a whisper

Your internal alarm clock was ticking, you could feel the switch in the air, the far-off whisps. Time was running out.

“Crap I think it's happening”

He looked around and nodded

“This was fun L, glad we didn't die.” you let out a nervous laugh “uhm- have a good day.”

It felt silly to say, a normal piece of conversation in such an abnormal state.

“Till next time”

You woke up in bed, a bed you don't remember falling asleep in. the mattress felt like a sack of feathers. The same goes for the pillow you woke up on. You sat up, the rough blanket draped over you following the abrupt movements. Someone's slow breathing caught your attention as you turned to look to your right.

Looking over, it was L sleeping right beside where you just were.

The sleep fog wearing off, you realized y’all were still in the cabin from last night. The pitcher of water on the wobbly table. The two mugs set in place. Your bright blue earrings still on.

Chapter Text

You took in a shaky deep breath. Hearing about this happening to other people online, was quite different when it was actually you. They said it was a variation of lucid dreaming. No one really knew the boundaries— always having woken up, left with sole fragments of the night. But supposedly from the little information you’ve gleaned, when the body was under high stress your brain when into a state of self-preservation. Clearly, the brain didn’t have much trust in whoever it sent under. Luckily though, time worked differently here. Hours passed faster than when truly awake.

Only thing was, you felt fine. No more stress than usual. So…

You glanced over at L again. He didn’t seem aware of the switch either; at least not yet. Taking inventory of the one-roomed cabin, you noticed there was now a gas oven and cabinets? That was for sure not there last night. Curiosity won and you walked over, opening them, eyes widening at the full stock of food. Vegetables, fruit, tons of different herbs. In the next one over you found meat, chicken, steak, pork, steaming- ready to eat. Despite coming from a cupboard.

The ruffle of sheets had you turning around. L yawned, stretching. You waited

It finally sunk in.

“What-” He did the same scan of the room you did, eyes stopping when he saw you. Standing in front of cabinets with loads of cooked food.

“Hey… good morning! Well. At least it looks like we won’t be going hungry anytime soon. Ha.” You looked at the floor, voice trailing off by the end of the sentence.

“Why- how-” he flared his arms around. You put your hands up defensively.

“I have no idea either.” You did kind of have an idea, but thought he wouldn’t want to talk about any of his big troubles, seeing as he just woke up.

He groaned and flopped back on the bed. Your stomach grumbled. He looked over, lips twitching in a smile.

“Someone hungry?” He put his hands under his head, being able to fully shoot you a smirk. You crossed your arms.

“Not my fault I’m a breakfast advocate. Actually- I don’t even know what time it is.” There was light coming in from the windows, but who knows how long y’all were laying there. You also had to pee. He probably didn’t need to know that part.

He tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes, replying in a still scratchy morning voice. “I can make something. Since we apparently have everything I’d need.” He took another confused glance at the compartments behind you.

“Yeah…” Freezing at the sound of scratching on the wooden door, you met eyes with L. He shook his head. You nodded and tried not to think about just how sturdy that piece of wood is.

“Hey- was that door there before?” he pointed to the right of you. You turned and saw it, walking slowly up to the handle. It was in fact not there before.

“Should I open it?” you did your best not to let the fear come through in your voice.

“Sure. Unless you want me to do it ”

You rolled your eyes and turned it with more force than necessary. It was a bathroom. A full mirror and countered sink with a toilet next to it and a tub next to that. Taking a step back, you bumped into his sort of bare chest. His hands fell on your shoulders.

“Oh!” you whirled around and whacked him on the arm. “You scared the crap out of me, stupid.”

He ignored your words. You saw his widened eyes in the reflection.

“Wow. This really is getting freakier by the second.” You nodded in agreement. Shrugging off his hold, you could feel the beating growing faster. Your heart; your mind couldn’t help racing along with it. It was too much. You’re going to be stuck in a dream for who knows how long! It’s barely been any time at all and you’re already losing it.

You needed air. Stumbling to the door, you threw out any previous fear and bolted into the outdoors. The fresh breeze fled your lungs like gulps of fresh water after dying of thirst. You spun, looking for somewhere to soak it in better. A spot under the shade from a canopy of branches seemed as good of a place as any. The grass was back, green and vibrant like before.

You couldn’t tell for sure, but with the sun out and the wind blowing, the idea of those disturbing creatures coming out again just sounded out of place. So, you laid down, watching the leaves gently sway above you. A couple even drifted down, twirling to the ground.

“Y/n!” you stiffened at the sound of his frantic voice. You stayed silent though, and sure enough, he still managed to find you. Your heart had slowed to a normal rate, but you were still doing your best to keep your thoughts on a tight rein. Overthinking and regular thinking was a fine line for you. Not one you liked walking on.

He didn’t ask, just laid closely beside you. Your head turned over. His black bedhead was in stark contrast against the greenery around you.
“Sorry. I just couldn’t… breathe.”

He just nodded. “I get it.”

Something soft and furry brushed against your leg. You yelped and sat up. A white and ginger cat strolled by, its tail flicking lazily in the air. You sighed, leaning over to pet it. “Hey buddy, were you the one scratching earlier?” you added, mumbling, “I sure hope so.” L’s hand appeared next to yours, fingers giving the cat playful scratches. This time it was his stomach grumbling. You laughed.

“Ready to actually make breakfast?”

He huffed exaggeratively. “I guess. Let’s just hope there’s enough for you.” He laughed at your expression. His true laugh was a hearty thing. Like he gave a piece of himself in each breath. When he caught you staring, he stopped.

“What’s wrong?” in his mind, he assumed maybe you weren’t feeling so great again. In reality, you were thinking how you could’ve lived happily for so long without hearing his laughter. And what you had to do to hear it again.

You coughed looking away. “Nothing. C’mon-” You stood up, leaning an arm out. “By the way, hope you know I’m trusting you not to make crappy food. Better not disappoint.”
Did he need your help getting up? No. Did he miss the feel of your hand in his, though? Yes.

“You’re going to wish you hadn’t said that.”

He took it, and you hauled him up. He didn’t want to let go so he make it seem like he was dragging you back to the cabin. You were unaware of any of his thoughts, but it’s not as if you wanted to let go either.

He was right.

You offered to help but he just told you to wait and that it would be ready soon.

Chapter Text

The earlier trip to your spot was too rushed for your liking. So, you returned this time with a calmer heart. The familiar sound of the nature around had your mind drifting off. Sooner or later, you’d have to talk with him. Really talk. Maybe if he could get off whatever was on his chest, you both could get out of here. Although, you had to admit. It wasn’t as bad as it could be. He was literally making a meal for you two while you laid in the sun. Not even bad in the slightest.

Except for the slow creeping worry for your mom. When she would get in moods, she would dive into work and get so deep that someone needed to pull her out. Even if it meant you had to swallow whatever dislike you had for her, she was still your mom.

She was the one you would bake with, deciding to make three different kinds of cookies; not being able to choose just one. She was the one who would binge watch cheesy Netflix dramas with you. She was the one who came to your room in the late hours of night when she heard you having an intense allergy fit. Hands holding medicine, her voice whispering reassuring words. Of course, all this stopped after that day. The day they split up

Guess that was the saddest part of it all, huh? You never know which goodbye is the last one. Until it is. Until they leave and don’t come back. Until you’d do anything to go back to that last goodbye. Hug him longer.

But the past stays the past and the present keeps moving to the future. Nothing you can do to stop it.

“Food’s ready.” He leaned out the doorway, hands cupped so his words reached you.

You laughed, quickly trying to wipe the traitorous tears before he saw them. With the smell of whatever he cooked up in the air, you walked faster to the cabin.
He had your plates already set up and you suppressed your grin. These little moments, statements, and gestures were just a constant reminder that he was sweeter than he’d ever admit. It might not have been a big deal for him, or anyone really, but after days of having all 3 meals of the day alone, someone even setting the table had your heart
warm. With appreciation.

“Hurry up eat before it gets cold”

You sat down and looked over at the table, noticing that L didnt have the same meal as you, in front of you was an omelet but he had a slice of cake on his plate.

“Isn't it too early for sweets?”

“I don't often eat anything other than sweets”

“I think thats a little unhealthy”

“Hm.”

He humned as he took the first bite of his cake still seated in his strange sitting position

You didn’t reply, instead deciding to take a bite as well. You stilled mid chew. The flavors in each added ingredient managed to shine through. Each herb, sprinkle of spice, and chop of cuisine you could feel bloom with each bite. L watched your expression with a smile. Softer than usual, but there all the same.

You kept eating, not looking up. “It’s pretty good. Has my Y/n seal of approval. You should be proud of yourself.” Really it was an understatement, but did he need to know that?

“im honored.” he said in a slightly sarcastic tone You gave a nervous smile; entirely sure he noticed you fall in love with his cooking

You didn’t know it but over the time spent with you, he learned what each of your small mannerisms meant. The twitch of your fingers, when you loosened your posture and dropped your shoulders, your pupils dilating at the sight of an endless horizon. Even the smile you gave him now. There were just some people who didn’t need words. Simply able to read the others emotions through soft touches and the catching of eyes.

When you both finished eating, you got up to help clean up. But when y’all turned back to the table, the plates were gone. Figures.

He saw your expression and spoke up. “You know why it happened right?” You met his eyes. Was he actually going to spill? A small part of you didn’t want to leave so soon.

Maybe not so a small part.

“Yeah. Kind of. Do you?”

He nodded. “It’s crazy. How it works for good but also bad.”

He’s lost you. “Wait, huh?”

“You know, how the brain makes these subconscious decisions while dreaming. Like those weird looking bastards we saw last night? Since we assumed something bad would happen, our brain filled in the gaps.”

You stared at him. “I’ve heard of that. I thought it was just a rumor though, never confirmed.” But the more you thought about it, the more it made sense.

How they appeared right when you could feel the fear settle in. How y’all found the cabin at the perfect moment. The lightning strike when you first felt the sparks between you two. The flower perfect for picking, right where you’d see it. Even the patch of grass you found. Exactly when you needed somewhere to breath.

“Well, sure looks like it should be confirmed.” His voice took on a lower tone. He didn’t want to be stuck here either.

You nodded somberly. The sun out was already setting, you couldn’t get used to this weird time zone. There was still light in the day though, and you noticed the fire from last night was slowly but surely going out. It wouldn’t last another night without more wood to feed it.

“It’s going to get colder when the sun fully sets. We should probably go get more wood before its really gone.”

He was thinking the same thing and agreed. “Even though I don’t think it’s the best decision, lets spilt up to cover more ground. Come back when you see the first sign of a star in the sky, got it?” he said all this while y’all stood outside.

You gave him a hesitant thumbs up, walking to the tree line. All you had to do was find some sticks. How hard could it be?

Chapter Text

You walked deeper and deeper into the brush, eyes searching the ground for loose logs. The sky was getting cloudier by the minute and you were worried you’d lose track of time. The bark from the wood you’d already collected scratched against your arm.

A stick broke behind you. “L?” you whisper-yelled. Slowly turning around, you only saw similar scenery—twisted root trees and bushes full of bright red berries. You tried picking a berry earlier, but when your finger met the outer skin, it burned as if touching a hot coal.

Once a second or two passed, you turned back around assuming it was all in your head. The dark was really settling in, creeping in the corners of your peripheral. After your arms were full of good enough looking sticks, you changed direction, back the way you came.

A mist of rain surrounds you, like a thick layer of fog. Then came the sprinkle of water from the sky. Really not wanting to get caught in a storm, you picked up your pace.
The crack of a broken stick. Again, behind you. This time you flipped around faster than before, ready to yell at L for his annoying attempt at scaring you. Mostly because it was working.

“Gotcha!” as soon as the retort came out, your words caught in your throat. A creature, like the night before was staring straight at you. Its striking golden pupils seared through yours and you froze, silent in fear.

You saw movement behind it and realized it didn’t come alone. They had enormous eyes and half folded ears with wide mouths. Their knife sharp teeth shone in the light peeping through the rain clouds. Taking a deep breath, you began cursing under your breath. Your legs slowly took steps back, not wanting to provoke them into fully attacking you.

You lost your balance and tripped up, evidently ruining your attempt of a smooth runaway. They started growling, hind legs bending into a threating pose. You threw caution to the wind and took off running back to the cabin. You started yelling for your fellow wood gatherer, not sure what he’d even do to help.

All you did know was that your boots were getting heavier as the dirt got more and more muddy from the rain and the chaffing those stitched up pants provided, was absolutely horrid. Clearly, they weren’t made for sprinting away from snarling animals. Who could've known?

“Y/N!” his voice rang out through the forest, the trees seeming to shrink back in shock.

You heard the smooth glide of sharp metal against its casing and the sudden squelch of flesh. The shrill noises those creatures let out was something that wouldn’t be leaving your mind anytime soon. His loud groan of pain reached your ears in the middle of their shrieks. You found your feet turning back to him, legs moving through the air faster than you thought you could move them.

He was on the ground. All the still twitching corpses around him but you paid little thought to them. He was clutching the front of his body, blood trailing down his arm in colored streaks.

You rushed over to his side and he hissed when you tried to pull away his arm.

“We have to get back to the cabin.” You whispered even though there was really no reason to.
“I did it.” his voice came out in a harsh rasp.

“I know L, but there could be more.” You went to the opposite side and hooked your arm into his. Hauling him up, you both limped back to the small bit of light. Perfectly guiding you two back to the cabin.

When you finally reached the familiar looking door, you set him in a chair.

“Okay. Supplies, supplies, supplies.” You muttered under your breath, fingertips against your lip.

You started going through some of the cabinets, successfully finding a basket full of exactly the stuff you needed. Picking it up, you set it on the table right next to him.
“Okay, you’re going to have to move your arm back down. Also, what happened?”

He begrudgingly removed his arm and you got to see the full gash on the front of his shoulder. Close to his collarbone.

“I let one of them in my blind spot and its claw got a good scratch on me.”

“This looks a lot worse than a scratch.” Your words were a mumble, mind focused on him. He kept his head up, away from the injury. Probably better for his sake if you were being honest.

You leaned down and started washing out the area with a soaked cloth you found in the bathroom. He flinched and you reached out to help still him. your hand went higher than expected at the last second. Suddenly your hand was on his neck.

It would be weirder if you yanked it back so you just lifted it slightly. He tried to stifle the attack of chills that ran up his body. Each time your skin met his, it was that same feeling. Of belonging, too good to be true. With you being so close to him, he could feel your steady breaths. The pain that this sickening scratch brought made it hard for him to keep his as steady. But it helped when he had yours to imitate.

“Okay now I’m going to bandage it up, try not to move too much.”

He nodded and you unwrapped them. You started from the top of his shoulder to under his arm, on his side and back around.

Once it was all bandaged up, you passed him a pair of identical blue pills. He readily took them, water chasing down his throat. You sat in the seat next to him, finally having a chance to process everything that just happened. It could’ve been a lot worse. He could’ve really gotten hurt.

He was watching as your expression turned more and more grim.

“Hold still” he reached up to your face and for a moment you thought he was going to kiss you, blushing slightly before he pulled a leaf out of your hair.

“Right. Well, I’m going to take a shower.” you stood up and made way for the bathroom.

You felt kind of stupid for thinking that, going to the bathroom quickly to hide the blush on your face.

Turning the dial, you stripped while the water warmed. The bath was made of hard clay, the shower head above you, a simple water outlet. It felt more than incredible to wash out the day’s grime and dirt. One by one, you picked through the pieces of grass and nature in your hair. There was already body wash provided and the smell was new.

It was like quiet nights in, staying up with a good book. The fire keeping the heat in and the freeze out. Devoid of all the heavy smoke, a scent of coziness was in its place.

When you were washed, you stepped out and saw a towel placed on the sink counter. You silently thanked the dream workers and dried off. A new set of clothing was next to it, an exact replica of what you wore earlier. Truthfully, you were getting accustomed to the rougher than usual fabrics and the leather feel against your torso.

Walking out, you tried to step and dry your hair at the same time. L still sat at the table, another slice of cake in front of him. You watched as he filled his teacup with sugar cubes

“Got hungry. I got you a slice as well.”

True to his words, there was another full plate beside him. “Oh, thanks.”

He just nodded, stuffing in the last bite of food. “Gonna go take a shower.”

Walking in, he closed the bathroom door behind him.

You yawned; the feeling of sleep stronger than your hunger. You started eating anyway, knowing your body needed the sustenance.

Your eyes roved over the room. The fire was still going, albeit close to being only embers. The bit of wood you managed to haul back laid by the door. Then you saw the bed. Singular not plural. Sleeping in the same bed was different when you had no say over it.

Seeing as how L didn’t talk about what was bothering him, you prepared for another day waking up next to him.

Chapter Text

Ten minutes later, you heard the water turn off. L walked out, hands running through his damp yet still spikey hair. He made eye contact with you and immediately looked away.

You stood up, the chair legs scraping against the floor. Suddenly, adding the new logs to the fire took all your focus.

“You can take the bed.” He still didn’t meet your eyes, instead looking at the rising flames. He wasn’t one to beat around the bush so you shouldn’t have been surprised. Still, he was the one with a bandaged-up body.

“I’m good, you need the rest more than I do.” You turned around and sat across from him at the table. He shook his head, finally looking up at you.

“im used to going a few days without sleep ” he looked at you gently

“Im not letting you stay up, you need to let that wound heal.” You gave him a pointed look.

“Im fine, ‘twas barely a scratch.” he said trying to make a joke. Sitting up straighter, he moved as if shaking off any lingering pain. His words said one thing, but you noticed how the left side of his body was more tense than the right. It wasn’t hard to see through his bravado.

“Okay… but either way I’m not taking the bed. You’ll make me feel guilty for it.” you crossed your arms, while he just rolled his eyes. “Listen L, I do not want to feel guilty.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, then smirked. “Fine. You take the floor.”

He’s compromising? He’s letting you win the argument.

You didn’t push it though and nodded. He yawned, stretching his arms over his head. You tried not to pay attention to the shape of his biceps. Or the fact that his hands looked extra nice to hold. Or how soft that spot on his neck seemed.

He caught you staring and laughed. There it was again. You could full-heartedly say that his laugh was your favorite song. Even after a thousand plays; “just one more time”. It flowed through your body and brought an automatic smile to your lips.

You’d never know it but that’s why he laughed so much and so easily. None of the other people from home have even heard him laugh more than once. Why would he? It’s not as if their faces light up at the sound. It’s not like they have the same small dimple when they smile. Not like they have the same smile that you do.

“Well, it’s been a long day. Goodnight.” He got up and laid in bed, pulling the sheet over. You sighed and went to the edge of the bed. The floor was cold but not too hard.

Hopefully, you wouldn’t wake up with much soreness.

“Oh, can you pass me my pillow?” he responded by dropping it off the bed. It landed on your face. You harrumphed and fluffed it under you.

Right as your breathing was slowing and your body was relaxing, you heard him say one last thing.

“By the way, I saw a tarantula under the bed while you were in the shower. Tried to kill it but lost it. Make sure and look out.”

You sat up, immediately scooting away from the edge of the bed. There was no way you could sleep now. And he knew it. Huffing, you stood up and padded to the edge of the bed. Without saying anything, you slid under the sheet on the empty side.

He stirred and threw his arm on top of you. You both froze and he retracted it. “Didn’t hear you.” Then his teasing tone flipped on. “The floor not good enough for you?”

“Don’t.” you attempted at sounding extra serious, but the upturn of your mouth came through.

He shrugged and went quiet again. It didn’t take long for your body to start falling asleep, the edges of tiredness pulling you deeper and deeper.

“Your hair smells pretty.” His words were said so soft you couldn’t even be sure if he said them at all. But it was a nice thing to slip off to.

Why did this keep happening? You don’t remember being so close last night.

Two heartbeats. You woke up to two heartbeats. Your own and the one under you. His chest was smoother than you had assumed, and your head fit perfectly on it. Like a puzzle piece. One of his arms was draped lazily over you while the other propped his head up.

You moved out of his grip without waking him as well. Light spilling in from the early morning sun outside, and the sound of crackling wood is what greeted you this morning. He hummed in his sleep and turned, fully taking up the mattress. You knew—even if he didn’t want to admit –he needed the sleep, so you let him stay in.

Looking through the cabinets, you flipped each one open. You saw there was already a coffeemaker, so now to only find coffee. There- the bag filled with strong grounds. You set everything all up and waited happily as it poured. The sound woke up L behind you and he silently watched as you softly bounced with anticipation.

You pulled out two mugs, one was sage green and the other charcoal grey. You looked in the cabinets again and sure enough, there was milk and cream. Pulling them both out in preparation, you poured the dark steaming liquid in both mugs.

“‘morning.”

You jumped, hand to your chest. “Good morning, i made coffee do you want some?”

“Yes, thank you” he said and you started to pour him a cup. And he stood up grabbing his cup and pouring way too much sweetener in it
You walked to the door and into the cool morning air, and followed close behind you.

The sound of chirping birds and golden sunlight is what awaited you two. There were two folding chairs to the right of the door, and you took a seat. Taking a deep breath, you couldn’t help but appreciate the peaceful ambience of the morning—so different from the hectic nature of last night.

L took the seat next to you and didn’t waste time enjoying his coffee.

You realized how much you both looked like an old couple. Sitting in the early day light and drinking coffee. Honestly, this would be a perfect moment to ask him what was up. Why you two were still stuck in this place. The soft crunch of leaves pulled you out of the thought.

Coming out of the tree line, was the cat from yesterday. Its steps were unusually elegant. L leaned down and started clicking his tongue, trying to convince the cat to get closer.

It seemed to remember him from yesterday, allowing pets and scratches.

You watched from the side, seeing L’s sweet smile and his gentleness with the animal. The tufts of fur at the edge of his cloak, fluttering in place with the breeze. His fingers mindlessly tapping on the mug.

You looked away before he could catch you staring. There was a feeling in your chest that didn’t want to leave this moment, wanting to freeze it. It was torture knowing how far he really lived and how slim the chance was for you two to meet. Even then, who knows if you’d remember him.

For some it was a simple catching of the eyes, a gaze locked and memories returned. For others, it took months of a relationship for the dreams to connect to their real life.

You’d even heard of some people who had a code word that would confirm they were soulmates; in turn everything would rush in.

Like yesterday, time moved in sporadic ways. It seemed slow, the sun barely moving up the sky but then you’d blink, and it was directly above you.

Noon was a lot warmer than dusk. After L made you two breakfast—fluffy blueberry pancakes with sugary syrup— he came up with an idea.

“Let’s go explore some more out there. Understand our surroundings better.” It was more of an action plan than an idea really.

“Alright. But we aren’t splitting up this time.” You could make decisions too.

He held your eyes for a second too long and nodded. Thinking of earlier, when he woke up, the wound from last night’s adventure was gone. Still, that doesn’t mean it didn’t scare the crap out of you. And the pain he felt was more than real. No need to repeat any of that.

So, you both set out into the trees. Third times a charm.

Chapter Text

Your steps matched, one after the other. Neither of you strayed too far from the other. It seemed as though the forest just repeated upon itself. Thick tree trunks and roots that peek up from the ground. Small berry bushes and burrows showed themselves, the only difference in scenery.

The small cat followed close behind, zig-zagging in and out of the path. Somehow getting to the front of you; it sat still. You tried walking around it, but it just followed your moves. L even tried moving it himself, but it started hissing. When you both stopped moving, it went walking again, in a different direction.

Thinking it wanted you to follow along, y’all did. It continued to be the same terrain for a good couple of minutes until trees no longer filled the path ahead. Instead, they lined it on either side, remnants of the full forest. It gives way to a clearing, an outcropping.

A glare hit your face. You lifted your face to shield it, the sun gleaming on what must be water. It ripples and moves, inviting and enticing in the heat. You walked to the edge of the grass line, fingers swishing in the water. It was cool, not too cold though.

You took off your sword, sheath and your boots

“What are you doing?”

“It's hot. I'm going in”

Before L could get a word in you jumped in, successfully splashing him with water in the process

It glid through your hands and limbs, making you weightless and refreshed. Remembering all the times your dad told you what to do if you got taken by the tide, you balanced onto your back.

Floating with your face towards the sky, you closed your eyes. You could feel your hair moving behind and above you, making sure it didn’t get in the way. Laying there, the sun on your skin, taking in easy breaths, you couldn’t imagine a better place to be.

“Where’d you learn to float like that?” you peeked one eye open. He was watching from close by, hands paddling to stay above.

You moved back into a vertical position. “Everyone knows how to. I’m pretty sure it’s like one of the first things babies learn.”

He didn’t respond, eyes avoiding yours.

“Do you.. not know how to float on your back?” his face turned beet red, as he looked into the water.”

“I never learned how to swim.”

“I can teach you”

After a few minutes of convincing he took off his coat and boots along with the sheath and his heavy doeskin pants to make it easier for him to float

He slowly stepped into the water holding on to your hands for balance.“ Okay, look- start by kicking your legs up, towards the surface.”

He scanned your face, looking for signs that you were mocking him. He wouldn’t find one. he swam closer, legs doing what you said.

“Good. Now I’m going to help hold you up for now, until you can do it on your own.”

He nodded, letting you cradle his head up. Your other hand lightly pressed against his back. The fact that he felt so toned on your palms, was not relevant, but you noted it either way.

“Please don't let go.” He kept his eyes on you.

“I won’t. Now spread your arms out.” you nudged one, and he moved the other. “Nice. Keep your breaths short, it’ll help you stay afloat.” He followed your instructions and you slowly let him go. He stayed deathly still, chest rising and falling with caution.

He smiled slightly, eyes moving to the sky.

You laughed, he looked so happy about accomplishing something so wholesome.

You both swam for a while more making sure yo help him stay afloat until he managed to do it on his own. The feeling of his hands on your skin was a new but welcome feeling.

Now you both sat on the grassy shore, both wringing out your hair.

The air was a lot colder than before. You started shivering, thinking about putting on your dirty clothes again. Before you could though, a soft warm cloth was thrown on your shoulders. It was L cloak. It smelled like fresh pine and sage with the undercurrent of sweat.

“your shaking.” He bit into an apple, offering another to you. “got them off a tree.”

You took it, breaking the skin with your teeth. It was perfectly crunchy, sweet juice hitting your tongue. He sat down next to you, arm slung around his knees. You watched the bright sunlight turn into a hue of light red and orange.

Not noticing he'd been staring, you turned and ask a question with your eyes. He shook his head once, looking at the ground. His apple stayed loosely gripped in his hand.

“We need to talk.” He said it sadly, knowing exactly what would happen next.

Chapter Text

You stopped eating, setting the apple core beside you. “We do?” your eyebrows creased, teeth biting your lips anxiously.

Of course, you had been waiting for this, but still. It felt like the big plot climax in a novel. One where the rest of the story is altered. Changed, for the better or the worse.

He sighed, head swinging to look at you directly on. “Yeah. Look, life kind of sucks right now.” Pausing, he looked over to affirm that you were listening. You nodded for him to go on.

“ I know that’s not a good excuse, and I wouldn’t have said anything unless I had to, but it looks like I had to.” He glanced at the swaying willow trees around you, eyes traveling down the unusually twisted roots.

He talked and counted the points on his fingers. “I’m on a new case right now as I've mentioned before and it's starting to look like I'm not going to solve it fully, in time..” He watched for your reaction, deciding that he should keep talking.

“Not to mention, Kira is so childish and self-absorbed that I can't let my guard down at all." He sighed, wrapping all his thoughts together, "It’s just that I want- I mean I will catch Kira, but I didn’t realize how much of an emotional job it would be.”

He took a deep breath after his long spiel, seeming to finally realize what he was missing. You took a deep breath too, but for an entirely different reason. He just needed a break. That you could understand.

“L, that’s a stupid excuse. I mean, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate so the fact that you got stuck here is logically normal. But also, I know how much of yourself you put into things. You give it your all, leaving no room for error- that can take a toll on a person.”

He was staring at the ground, not able to grasp how you could explain it so well.

“And,” You continued. “Even if you can’t catch a break, I hope that being here is at least something to look forward to”

Now, he was confused why it was bringing him so much comfort to hear you say that. He hated that he felt like crying; if he could kill the lump in his throat, he would. So instead of saying “Thanks” and moving on like a normal person, he sighed at you.

“You’ve known me for about, A week. You have no idea who I am.”

That stung. Not just for you either. He cringed, regretting his words as he was saying them. You nodded shoving his words to the back of your mind, turning your anger at him into confidence.

“Are you kidding me? Fine. Maybe I don’t know who you are—whatever that means. I may not know what shows you like to watch or what stupid things you fill your time with, but I do know that you…put way too much sweetener in your coffee.”

Before he could interrupt, you kept rambling on. Your words got more and more intense with each breath, “i know that you'd rather be in pain yourself than see me injured. I know you make a disgustingly delicious omelet.”

He stopped you. “Okay, now that sentence makes no sense.”

You waved him off and kept going. “I know that you came to help me even when you could’ve left me out there alone. I know that you never dry your hair properly when getting out of the shower. And I know that as much as you act confident your scared of failing and you hate being afraid.”

You leaned back, challenging him with your eyes. “I could keep going if you need me to.”

He coughed. “I think you got it all.”

You huffed, smiling and satisfied. Standing up, you offered him a hand. “Good. Let’s head back before dark.”

His mind caught up to what you did. You got him to sit down and listen, really listen. There was no hesitation when he took your hand, and after this night, there never was.

The walk back to the cabin was a lot less eventful, the small candle from inside leading you two back.

You hopped in the bath first, washing off all the river water and sweat from the day. When you came out, the smell from the kitchen hit your nose.

L, mixing a pot of mystery ingredients, looked up. He set the pot cover on top and walked towards the bathroom. Pointing a single finger at you, “Don’t eat without me!” his words ended with the click of a closed door.

You took a deep breath, lungs filling with warm air. As the sun went down, the heat from the day seemed to leave with it. It tried its best to sneak in through the cracks in the window and under the door. You stood by the fire, warming your hands.

The soft pitter-patter of rain on the roof had your eyes peeking outside. There was a scratch at the door and this time you weren’t as scared to look behind it.

Green eyes and an orange fur coat met your eyes; your friend the cat decided to walk in. It paid little attention to you, happy to be out of the rain. It walked to the edge of the fire, tongue mindlessly cleaning its fur.

“I thought I heard rain.” L’s voice broke the silence of before, body damp from the shower. “Damn, all that swimming really made me hungry.”

You agreed silently, taking a seat at the table. You started picking your food while he stared, taking the chair across.

“Guess this is it, huh?” you kept your eyes away from his.

It clicked for him, why you were acting different. “Yeah, guess it’ll be back to our regularly scheduled cliff nights.”
You sat up straighter. “You’re right.”

"But,” He waited for you to look up. “being here with you was. nice.”

“Don’t look so in pain.” You laughed. “But I agree. This was a nice break from everything happening up there.” You waved your spoon towards the ceiling.

“A nice break,” he repeated, liking how it sounded. He shoved a spoonful in his mouth.

You could worry about tomorrow, tomorrow; for now, this soup that L made is all you can think about.

Chapter Text

Getting ready for bed was the same process as last night. He stoked the fire, making the flames rise and the wood to burn. You went to the mattress and laid flat on your back. The candle set atop the table casted moving shadows on the ceiling above you. A distorted version of L warbled on the concrete wall.

He moved up next to you, laying on his side, back to you. You sighed and he shifted, clearly not drifting off yet. You started humming an indiscriminate tune, a song that was always stuck in your head.

He shifted onto his back now too, except he turned his head towards yours. “You know that song?” his voice was hushed, for what reason, you didn’t know.

You nodded. “You know that song?” it was a slow one, heartfelt and filled with violins in the background.

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites.” You felt the tip of his finger on your skin. It traced the line of your jaw, moving down your neck. You squirmed, ticklish. But as he retracted it, your chest bubbled with the urge to pull his hand back.

“Mine too.” You hummed again, and he followed along. Your arm raised, drawing lines in the air as if the music was actually playing. He chuckled mimicking you. Perfect, you thought.

You moved your hand closer, slipping your fingers between his. He stopped humming, fingers still in the air. Afraid you made the wrong choice; you began to let go. Suddenly though, he squeezed your hand shut, trapping yours under his. You smiled, letting your entwined hand fall on the threaded blanket. Falling asleep wasn’t as hard as you’d imagine, just letting the tiredness take its course.

A surrounding alarm blasted through your skull. The sunlight shone through the blinds, hitting you with its brightness and early morning heat. You felt like you had slept for longer than a night, a lingering sense of comfort and energy. Yet still, there was a feeling of something missing, your hand colder than usual. Pushing the feeling down, the smell of pancakes had you stepping out of bed and into the hall.

Your mom was standing at the stove, apron wrapped around her torso. You lifted an eyebrow. “Good morning?”

She twirled around, hand holding a spatula, smile plastered. “Good morning, dearest child of mine! Care for some cakes of the pan kind?”

You nodded slowly, wondering who this woman was and what she had done with your mother. It wasn’t even the weekend; she must be skipping work for the day. Glancing down the hall, you noticed her office was closed, no light creeping from under the door either.

She turned back, flipping one on the stove. You shook your head, going to wash up.

While you were getting ready, you caught on something shining from the top of your dresser. It’s glare hit you in the eyes, red light coming from it. Getting closer, you realized it was a pair of earrings. They were small, shaped like half-moons; crescents. Ruby red and matching your outfit, you shrugged, deciding to put them on.

The day passed like any other Friday. Lectures, exams, lunch, repeat. You were planning on heading to your regular after-school coffeeshop place, but you got a text from your mom reminding you to return home straight after.

Preparing to grab a snack and spend the rest of the afternoon in your room, you were surprised to see your mom at the table. She had papers scattered, computer open. Smiling when you walked in, she waved you over.

“How was school?” she was genuinely asking, not trying to interrogate.

“It was okay? I’m ready for the weekend, though.” You hadn’t had an actual conversation since, well, since when your dad was here.

She nodded, knowingly. “Me too! What a long week.” She sighed, shaking her head dramatically. Either she was trying too hard, or you were missing something.

“Yeah… I’ll be going to my room now.” You got up, already walking away.

She turned back to the papers, smile back. “Okay!! I’ll have dinner ready in a couple hours.”

Dinner? Now you were really confused. She changed so much, from one night to the next it was as if she was back to “normal.” Whatever that was now. It felt uneven, the family dynamic. Like you were missing a link, the one in the middle, the one that kept you connected to everything and everyone else.

Turns out she really did cook dinner. Some things were a bit overcooked and when you mean overcooked, you meant charred. But at least she tried, that was a step you hadn’t seen coming.

And she was consistently trying to keep up conversation, almost afraid of silence. Afraid of slipping into the white noise of forks hitting plates and cups being set on the table, a picture devoid of him. Devoid of his pure dad jokes, his crazy work stories, his loving teases and jabs. One day, not today, but one day maybe the silence wouldn’t be so daunting.

You helped clean up and did your best to adjust as fast as she did.

That night you went to bed not happy, but also not incredibly sad.

Your arms flew above you, air flying past you. You felt the pull of your weight, falling and falling. One blink and you were at the cliff again, the world spread before you.

The sky was grey, dark clouds drifting in from the left. L was already seated crisscross on the grass. You couldn’t help missing the old wooden cabin.

“Lovely day, huh.” You sat down next to him, leaning back on your hands.

“Long time no see. Seems like the weather wanted to give us a big welcome back.” He replied sarcastically. Scanning your face, he was already able to tell that you didn’t have the best day.

You sighed, tired of holding yourself up, you laid back. The clouds drew closer with each second. “Was your day okay?” Maybe it was because now you knew better about his day-to-day life, but you’d felt extra inclined towards asking about his days, his feelings.

He hummed. “Yeah. Actually, I got to have a good training match with one of the better nerds. Yours?” Looking down, he fiddled with his hand.

“Mhm. My mom’s acting like a bit of a looney, but that’s pretty normal by now… I guess it’s just as time goes on, the more we have to get used to being without my dad.” You made gestures in the air, setting your hands back on your stomach.

“So, your dad-” His voice lifted at the end.

“Yeah?”

“You never talk about him, I feel like I don’t know much about him.” He wanted to get you talking; he loved the sound of your voice and figured this was something you needed right now. It was the least he could do, especially after the previous night. “What did he like? or- what was he like?”

You laughed, Pausing, you thought on it. “Well, he actually was a surprisingly good dancer. Like at parties and stuff? Him and my mom would always be on the floor, moving like they were the only ones out there.”

L kept quiet, secretly loving how you lit up when you spoke.

“He used to teach me, showing me how to not be so stiff or how to follow along with the music. It was fun. I’m sure you’re a great dancer too, Mister detective” You lowered your voice, giggling slightly.

He rolled his eyes, smirking. “Actually, I never learned to dance.”

Your eyebrows shot up, “Really? Would you ever want to learn?”

“Is that an invitation?” he looked over at your relaxed form.

You moved to leaning on an elbow, eyes narrowing. “You wouldn’t.”

He grinned, leaning down too. “Would I?”

You shot up, brushing the grass from your pants. Holding a hand out, you watched his reaction. Never backing down from a challenge, he took it. The second his palm connected with yours, a symphony seemed to rise from the forest and beyond.

Chapter Text

It was a familiar rhythm, a remembered rhyme. In fact, it was the exact song you were humming the previous night. The music ebbed and flowed, causing the trees to sway in their places. It should have been abrupt—out of the blue-- but no shock was felt as L placed his hand on your waist and matched your steps.

He was right; he had no idea how to dance. His steps were out of place, going to the right instead of the left. So, where usually he would be leading, you took over and led him through the song. With each pick of the acoustic guitar and each chord pressed on the piano, your bodies followed.

Not used to slow songs, he would start speeding up and get confused. Each time you let out a soft murmur, “Slower.” He would frown and correct his mistake, upset at himself for not getting it down fast enough. Finally though, he switched positions with you, now leading.

His callused hand fit right into yours, fingers twitching with nervousness. The arm wrapped around you wasn’t too tight, simply placed there and subconsciously pulling you closer. As the sun set, you could feel the warmth leave with it. He was the only other heat source for miles, making the energy between you seem like a tangible force.

He noticed you take in a shaky breath and moved so that both of his hands were wrapped around you. You kept moving from side to side, now with each arm around his neck. With his face directly besides yours, his whispers were easy to hear.

“This okay?”

You nodded, leaning your forehead on his chest. The tune from the forest continued, breeze carrying the sound of stringed instruments to your ears. The thought out moves from before, switched to simple steps in the moonlight.

As the night progressed, you waited for the jerk of being awake again. It came—like always—but later than usual. Or maybe you were just getting worse with telling time.

The clock read 8:03am, in big red numbers. Three minutes of sleeping in, and your mother had not barged in once. Could she really be getting better so soon? You wanted to trust her newfound giddiness, but it felt off placed, like she had something else up her sleeve. Either way, you slid out of bed, getting ready and out the door with no breakfast.

You had just made it to the edge of the sidewalk when her voice had you frozen.

“Y/n! Where are you heading? It’s the weekend, kiddo!” her voice rang out into the neighborhood. You rolled your eyes, slowly turning back.

“Yeah. I know. I was going to study at the library. Like I always do.” Of course, she was confused. On any other Saturday, she’d be out too. Out meeting with people and having conversations that were so much more important than you and your whereabouts.

"Oh. Well, study later! I’m making breakfast and have exciting news to share!” she waved you back to the house and you drudged in. Tossing your stuff back in your room, you met her at the table. Again.

She set a full plate in front of you. It was packed to the edges with eggs, bacon, and more pancakes. You picked up the fork beside it and didn’t even know where to start she had even given me my favorite fork in the collection. She took the seat across and folded her arms neatly.

The weird smile was back. You looked to the side, wondering if she’d just spit it out already. She did.

“We’re moving to Japan!” her voice was high, eyes wide and glittering. You coughed, hand going to your chest. Japan? Moving? Maybe she really was losing it.

When you didn’t say anything in reply—mind still reeling—she explained. “I’ve been having so many meetings, and been extra busy, because I wanted to work out the details before telling you! My company has offered me a new position in our Japanese location.”

“That’s… great?” You wanted to be happy for her, really, but Japan was literal continents away. It was also the middle of the school year; you’d have to meet a complete new set of strangers. At least you knew the language well enough, so communication won’t be as big of an issue as it could be. You didn’t even want to think about how hard it would be if you hadn’t taken that extra class. “So, when is all this happening?”

You crossed your fingers under the table. Maybe you won’t have to worry! Maybe it’ll be a couple of months! Tons of time to prepare!

“Tomorrow.” She cringed, expecting your reaction. “We won’t be officially moving until next month; the place isn’t ready.” she continued, leaving no room for your thoughts, “But! I got in contact with an old friend of mine from high school who moved there when she got married. She’s letting us stay over for the week—just to get a feel of everything.”

You blinked. Not sure how long your mouth had been slightly agape, you closed it. “We’re going to Japan, for the week, and we’re leaving tomorrow?!” You did your best to keep your voice leveled. “Did you even think to ask how I’d feel?” You hated how it sounded coming out of your mouth but there was no easier way to put it.

She was stunned, taken aback. Frowning, she shook her head. “Guess I falsely assumed that you’d be excited as well. Unfortunately Y/n, the world doesn’t revolve around little you.” The sentence was cold, biting at your skin.

You gasped, fighting the stinging tears with everything inside you. “Clearly.” You shot back. Pulling away from the table, you found your appetite had disappeared. “It’s not like I have a life or anything.” You threw your hands up, letting out a bitter laugh.

She stayed sitting, eyes boring into you. “How disappointing. You know, I didn’t raise you this way; to be such a selfish person.”

"IM selfish? did you even think about how id feel? leaving my friends and my hometown all because of YOUR job?"

You refused to back down, tired of spending months doing just that. “and if you weren't the one to raise me like this then who did? Dad? Cause last time I checked, he was gone. because of you. And despite you trying to ignore it or push it under the rug, he’s not coming back. So, this whole “raising” me thing, is all on you now, mom.” You spat the last word at her, not expecting to go so far. Neither did she, apparently.

She lifted a shaky finger. “Go to your room. And don’t come out.”

"gladly."

You huffed, already planning on doing that anyway. The rest of the day was spent with you throwing clothes around, finding what you wanted to pack. Sticking your headphones in, you didn’t know—and didn’t want to know-- what your mother was doing. The guilt from your harsh words would hit you soon enough. Right now, you had to deal with the current situation. A week in Japan.

That night you didn’t get any sleep, too busy stress packing and worrying.

That night L showed up and you didn’t.

Chapter Text

You can add “loud banging on the door” to the long list of annoying things your mom did to wake you up. It was so early that it was still dark out. Pulling on your airport outfit, the air was silent but for the distant sound of the coffee maker.

“Time to go.” Your mom’s voice was low, no emphasis, no anger. Nothing. She hauled her stuff into the trunk and sat in the driver seat, waiting as you did the same. When you joined her, she turned on the radio. It was already flipped to the news station.

It turned out to be a 15-hour trip and for most of it, you were fast asleep. Before y’all landed though, you got to catch sight of the view. The city looked tiny, being so high up in the clouds. Blinking lights illuminating from the otherwise dark buildings acted like their own stars from where you were.

Everything else went to plan, thankfully. Soon enough, you were in another car. Your mom pulled out her phone, the navigating voice lead y’all to the destination. It only took a couple turns and passing under warm lit streetlights before you two arrived.

The house was bigger than you expected with green accents and brown brick. Several large hedges lined the sidewalk, leading to the door. She parked and immediately hopped out, all her staleness from earlier gone. You sighed, popping open the door and making your way to the back.

“Oh hi!! I missed you so much!!” Your head turned at the excited squeals. Some belonged to your mother, but the others were coming from a black haired woman you didn’t recognize. she seemed nice. Her eyes caught on to yours and she turned back into the house for a second.

When she returned, there was a brown haired boy next to her. He swatted the fingers she’d held his sleeve with. Realizing you were staring, you shook your head and whirled back to the full trunk.

“Y/n! This is light, he will be helping you with your bags! Right, light?” He rolled his eyes. Walking to you with his hands in his pockets.

He yelled back, “yeah yeah im doing it”

He barely even gave you a glance before reaching in and pulling out a suitcase. It was the only suitcase you brought; there was no way he could’ve known but now you had nothing to carry. Not wanting to look like an idiot, you took out one of your mom’s bags.

Following him back in, his mom let you know that he’d show you your room. You thanked her and tried to stay quiet behind him. Climbing the stairs, you saw pictures lined on the wall. A family of four, As the photos progressed with age, you noticed how the little boy slowly lost his smile. Looking forward again, you realized he was already at the top.

Glaring down at you, he tilted his head towards the room turning and starting to walk off. You sped up, following him down the hallway now. Trying to break the ice, or at least get rid of some of the awkwardness, you made an attempt at conversation.

“So, you and i are in the same grade right?” You forced some interest in your voice. The long flight gave you a headache, and it was already dark outside, making you want to be in bed even more.

“None of your business.” His answer was clipped, rash.

“Uh- Okay? Sorry I guess.” You stammered. Guess he wasn’t a fan of small talk. Finally, he reached the door. It led into a plain room with generic decorations scattered across the walls. He threw your bag on the bed and walked out. You listened as his steps got quieter with distance.

Taking a deep breath, you flopped back on the comforter. It engulfed you and you watched as the fan above turned round and round. Your eyes blurred by themselves, and your brain begged for your eyes to close.

A nap. All you needed was a simple nap. But it was nighttime and way past dinner. Still, everyone ordered food and now gathered downstairs. You awoke to their voices, along with the knock at your door.

Behind it stood the frowny boy with a bag of food. He stuck it out, and you took it silently. Before he could sprint off again, you reached for his arm. He lurched back at your touch, confused and upset. You rambled.

“Bathroom? Where is it?” You asked, hand now gripping the greasy paper bag. He huffed, looking down the hall.

“It’s two doors down, easy to find.” He replied. You were starting to think there was no hope for this week. Your eyes narrowed and watched as he stomped back into his own room. Right across from yours.

Eating on the empty desk, you turned on the tv. It was set to some home renovation show and you let it play, too lazy to go flipping through the channels. Looking around the room, you couldn’t help missing your own. Getting homesick sucks. Only five more days. At least until next month. You groaned at the thought.

Finished and now full, you grabbed your stuff and walked out to take a shower. Your body was running on low power mode at this point, wanting to knock out but still wanting to feel clean. Especially after sitting in the stuffy plane for so long.

As soon as you opened your door, so did the one across the hall. Meeting eyes with light, you noticed he was also holding his shower essentials. he let out a loud sigh and just closed the door as he saw you holding your shower essentials/p>

The bath helped. The water soaked through your tense muscles and left you feeling warm inside. Slipping into your comfy pair of pajamas felt like literal heaven. When you opened the door again, you felt rejuvenated. The parents were still downstairs, catching up and chatting. you figured you should let light know he can shower now, knocking on his door to inform him you were done

Getting back to your room, you got ready for bed. The sheets welcomed your sleepy mind, enveloping you in a soft hug.