Actions

Work Header

As We Fall

Chapter 35: Contemplations of Love

Notes:

I often forget how much and joy and beauty there is to be found in slowing down. This one came to me quickly and simply, and I honestly enjoyed my slow ramble through this chapter. I hope you do too my friends :)

~Much Love, StarryEyedSpaceGirl

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Wednesday, October 20

Sevika doesn’t answer you until after 12am, according to the time stamp. You squint blearily at the text the next morning, trying not to bump Jorts, who’s sleeping quite contentedly nestled against your stomach.

“Job complete. It’s in the garage below Jinx’s studio, waiting for pick up.”

And just like that, in one night, stage one of the super secret gramophone heist is complete. 

There’s a great sense of anticlimax to it, really, considering how busy and dramatic the lives of the Spisaks are at all times. Sevika had answered you with four words on your way home from The Last Drop, “ Why the hell not?”, and when you’d asked what her plan was she hadn’t replied. 

But, clearly, she got it handled. Not that there was any doubt that she could. It had always been more a matter of if she would.

“Thank you! I really appreciate you doing this for me.”

“Sorry to break your little romantic heart, but this ain’t about you. This is pure self interest. I’m dreaming of the day I get to have an entire weekend off to myself.”

You snort. “Lol good luck with that delusion! Have you ever seen Silco take that much time off work in his entire life?”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t waste my time unless I thought there was going to be a big pay off. You should know that by now, little minx.”

It’s a weird response, and the video she sends you moments later doesn’t help clarify her answer. It’s a one minute video that starts out with a gratuitous view of Sevika in a muscle shirt, flexing with a dumbbell into a hotel gym mirror. It’s very impressive you can admit, though somewhat baffling until she shifts the camera to pick up Silco sitting on a bench behind her, facing away from the camera. His elbows are resting on his knees as he scrolls on his phone. Headphones obscure his face, but it’s clearly him in a long sleeve athletic sweater, sweat darkening the collar.

Sevika grins wolfishly, then zooms in on the phone. It takes a moment for the image to come into focus, but even with the privacy screen protector you can just make out that he’s scrolling on Jinx’s Instagram. He pauses to look at one of the photos, and you pause the grainy video to squint at the blurry selfie Jinx has taken with a woman in a car. 

Is that… you?

You’d forgotten she took that picture. You both look really happy though.

You get goosebumps as you start the video again, and watch Silco linger on the image for a rather significant amount of time. Eventually he swipes a few images to the right, and stares at this one for a few heartbeats. You watch his back rise and fall before he swipes the app off-screen to bring up Spotify. That’s when the video bobbles, and hurriedly refocuses on Sevika. 

She flexes with a wink. 

“I expect my wedding invitation to arrive on gold fucking filigreed paper BITCH!”

You put the phone down and take a moment to clasp to your flushed face. A giddy smile punctuates the buzzing in your head.

It’s silly, really. Silco is technically your boyfriend, so it shouldn’t give you such intense heart palpitations when it turns out that he likes to look at you when he doesn’t think anyone’s watching.

Still. This is Silco. He’s a mystery wrapped in secrets. A man who hides his thoughts and feelings from the world.

If it weren’t for Sevika, Jinx, or Thomas’ encouragement, would you ever have believed he had sustained interest in you? Would you even be here today?

Thank God for all the wing-men and women looking out for me.

You pick up the phone and save Sevika’s video before heading to Jinx’s Instagram. You haven’t looked at it in ages, and you scroll feverishly, swiping through her pictures until you discover the image that had fascinated Silco so much.

You find it under a photo-set Jinx had captioned “GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE GUNS” followed by a string of goofy and violent emojis. As indicated, there are lots of guns, as well as girls, and girl’s holding guns. There are several images of herself with Sevika and Tania at shooting ranges at various times. 

Then, of course, there’s you.

The first surprise image of you is the fifth photo in the set. The clandestine ahot was obviously taken the night at the Fissures, when you’d played Time Crisis 3. 

That dress really did good things for you. Silco never said if he liked it or not.

You swipe to the right, your stomach dipping even further when you spot the second picture of you, at the shooting range. It’s only because you know yourself that you recognize the goggled and head-geared woman as you. Your face is hidden, and your silhouette swaddled in a loose sweatshirt.

But apparently Silco recognizes you.

The photo was taken during one of the first rounds of practice, Thomas standing immediately behind you. One of his hands is resting gently on your left shoulder as the other points at the target. You’re relieved that you look like you know what you’re doing. Legs apart and steady, both arms out in front of you, shoulders down, looking relatively relaxed.

Jinx hadn’t tagged you in either picture, whether on purpose or by accident you aren’t sure. Either way, you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. Sevika has answered so many lingering questions for you. 

Silco goes to the gym, like any other normal human being. And also like a normal human being, he scrolls Instagram while between sets, looking at photos of his crush. 

You giggle wildly at the notion, waking the cat and drawing out a soundless mew. 

“Sorry,” You giggle again as you scratch her chin.

I’m just really happy.

Jorts purrs as she indulges in a big yawn and a stretch, then curls up and goes back to sleep.

You release a contented sigh and reopen Jinx’s Instagram.

For the most part, all the photo-sets pre-October are art and random selfies. Once October hit, however, Jinx became more prolific in her picture taking habits. She’s included more people, including yourself, Ekko, and Sevika. Silco is noticeably absent, except you catch sight of him once, in the background of a video Jinx made the night of her art show. 

She’s taking a video of the room behind her, herself in the foreground with a red bull raised in her hand. Behind her Silco appears, hiding amongst the grotesque ZCC board members. His hands are behind his back, twitching fitfully as he casts his haughty gaze around the room.

You release an involuntary sigh. 

He looks so dashing in that gold and scarlet coat.

You rewatch the video until it begins to creep into the realm of self-destructive behavior, then (and only then), do you cave and take a screen recording. This might be taking things a little too far, but you think you deserve more than just stock photos of your boyfriend in your phone. This video should do the trick to tide you over (until Silco lets you take a proper selfie, that is).

You know, like, side-by-side, in real life.

This thought prompts a daydream about your upcoming, mostly hypothetical date with Silco at his home, listening to music, drinking wine, and eating homemade cuisine. Maybe even dancing, if you have the courage to suggest it. This inevitably leads to a fever dream featuring Jinx's romantic, Notting Hill scenario. Staying too late to drive home, having to sleep in a guest room, but getting up to get a drink of water, which leads to a chance meeting in the night...

You continue on that pleasantly tummy-tingling train of thought until a text from an unknown number comes through, shattering your perfect, blissful world of make-believe.

“Bad news, love. Paul’s been a proper pain in everyone’s arse since you volunteered to teach us how to use his machine. If we don’t decide on a day soon, we might have to resort to drastic measures” 

It takes several seconds to pull your head out of the fog of dreams, but once you do, you recognize the number must be Cal’s.

Probably just as well, You think sadly as you let the lingering fog slip away. Silco's too self-controlled to put us in that situation, anyway. He'd probably make sure Sevika's with us to play chaperone.

“Haha, I’m sorry! Just let me know what day works best for you guys!”

“Some of the crew wants to go to the festival after close Monday, then come back to the pub for drinks. We could do it then, you think?”

“Sure! I could meet you at the club whenever you’re done :)

“Don’t be a daftie. Want to be my plus one for the patch?”

You check your schedule for Monday the 25th. You happen to be working close, but promise that you’ll meet him as soon as you’re finished. 

“Excellent! And don’t worry ducky, I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman”

“You better be, or I’ll find someone to beat you up !!”

You send a GIF, then (rather hurriedly) “JK, JK, I’d never do that love you Calum!!” 

He replies with a crying laughing face.

“That’s a relief. I know Sevika would break me in half with her little finger if the boss thought I laid a finger on ya”

You re-read the text several times wearing an uneasy smile.

Why had he assumed Sevika would be your go-to bruiser? And why had he mentioned Silco? Was it just a coincidence?

You’ve never been one to believe in coincidences. 

“Yeah, she could probably take down Haim if you gave her enough of an incentive.”

“Like a free slice of pizza and a beer”

He punctuates this with a nervous laughing face.

“Let’s be serious. She’d probably beat him down for less”

“Like five dollars?”

“More like one dollar, and the promise of a video of the whole beat down”

“So long as we remember to catch her flexing at the end. That’s the essential part.”

He sends a laughing face, and you set aside your phone to shimmy from underneath the blankets (taking care not to disturb your bed-mate). You take your time preparing for your upcoming day with Jinx. Odds are she’s going to have more ideas of things to do than just fixing the gramophone, so you’ll have to wear your most comfy clothes.

The morning moves in a perfectly languid, carefree manner. You have plenty of time for coffee, breakfast, and about an hour of reading (not one of the many books in your half-read pile, as you probably should, but a re-read of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It fits the spooky mood, anyway). 

It’s just about time to leave the house when Allie emerges from her room. It’s earlier than normal for her, so you send her a questioning look as she shuffles into the living room with her laptop and a headset.

“I promised Marcus I’d game with him today,” She yawns as she hooks her laptop up to the TV. “Some game called League of Legends, Wild Rift. It’s on my phone, but he said I have to go through a tutorial, and wants to zoom with me while I do it. The things we do for nerd love are atrocious.”

“I’m sure you’ll be great at it. You catch on fast.”

“I know. But I’d like it better if he didn’t coerce me into playing it this early in the morning.”

“It’s almost 10:45 Allie.”

“Yeah,” She grumps. “early.”

You grin and grab your purse. “Well try and have fun. I’ll see you later.”

“Where are you going?”

“To some place in the Black Lanes to fix Silco’s gramophone. It’s for his birthday.”

“That’s cute.”

“I know, super cute. I’m taking Jinx with me, so pray for me homie because I have no idea how this is going to go.”

She folds her hands and closes her eyes. “Peace and blessings be upon your first mother daughter shopping trip.”

You make a face. “Okay, now you’re making it weird.”

“I hate to break it to you, but if you plan on getting hitched to your prince charming, every day you spend with Jinx will be mother daughter time.”

Put that way, it feels even weirder.

“I know but I’m just… I don’t feel old enough to be her mother. And that girl probably has way more life experience than I ever will.”

You fiddle with your purse, feeling the weight of the gun hidden in the bottom. You still haven’t told Allie about it.

She looks at you with an indignant expression.

“Don’t sell yourself short. Jinx likes you and wants to hang out with you, which means she trusts you. And if she trusts you without you even having to try, then that means you don’t have to try to keep hold of it.”

You’d never thought about it like that before.

“Don’t get too caught up in your head about it. From where I’m standing, you were made to love and fit in with that weird, messed up family.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“You’re welcome. Now get out of here so you don’t have to witness the pan of humble pie I’m about to eat for my idiot boyfriend.”

“I bet you a bottle of Shimmer that you’ll be better at it than him by the end of the day.”

“I’ll take that bet.”

“Great. I’ll see if I can find a few bottles before I come home.”

She yawns again. “Thanks. See ya.”

You gather your things and head to your car. It takes some time to clear out your back seat, but eventually you manage to create a spot for the gramophone. After turning on suitably moody music you send a quick text to Jinx letting her know you’re on your way. 

Fifteen minutes later you circle around the Spisak’s generous driveway, and back up to the garage.

Jinx must have been on the lookout for you, because she’s bounding down the stairs before you’ve fully exited the vehicle. She’s wearing a Harley Quinn inspired outfit, black and red, with her long hair in two pigtails. A studded, heart shaped purse is swinging from her narrow shoulders as she gestures wildly with her hands.

“Okay so I’m so excited for this day! I have a full itinerary of what we’re going to do once we’re on Black Lane. Do you have your hellcat?”

“Uh… yes?”

“Good, because there are like, so many cool, illegal aftermarket parts for it, and I know exactly where to buy them. Now come on, we need to get this show on the road if we’re going to hit everything on my list!”

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to hustle the gramophone into the back seat, and you take care to cover it with a cloth and nestle it next to a pile of blankets so it’s secure. 

“Okay, so what’s the name of this fantastic fry place?”

“Old Hungry. I promise you, everything there is absolutely to die for.”

You punch the name into the GPS as Jinx’s excitement fills the space. You’ve never spent dedicated time with her before outside of watching movies, so you’re not exactly sure how the day is going to go. Will the conversation be easy? Will there be conversation at all? What kind of conversation do you have with a seventeen year old?

You try to take your sister's advice and let things flow.

“Why don’t you pick the music for the drive?” You hand over your phone. “The password’s –”

“971446,” She says airily. “I know.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“I saw you put in the passcode,” Jinx hums to some kind of tune, her fingers flying across the screen. “Okay so I love this song so much and I think you probably will too, but if you don’t that’s totally fine I’ll only be super sad and die a little inside.”

You laugh as you turn out of the driveway and she turns up the volume with an impish smile. A melancholic techno vibe fills the cab.

“Okay I’m already into it.”

“Yesss I knew it! The song’s called 'Lonely Feelings'  and it totally slaps.”

It progresses and builds until you have to agree. It does slap.

“Take a screenshot of that, will you?”

“Oh, I’m already on it toots.”

“So... how was school today?” You ask in the silence as one song finishes and the next begins.

“Ugh it was the worst! I hate homework with every fiber of my being. It’s like, why can’t I just draw what I want? Why do I have to draw 100 freakin’ circles? I know how to draw circles! I’ve drawn them a million times!”

“Ah. Sounds like this class is way below your skill level.”

“It totally is, but I have to take it to get my degree so it’s whatever. I’ll draw your 100 circles Ms. Halloway, and they’ll be the best damn circles you’ve ever seen. But they’ll also have a bit of the Jinx flair.”

“Jinx flair meaning…”

“All she said about the assignment was that it had to be a hundred circles. She didn’t say anything else, like size or medium or whether I could or could not include anything else with the circles. So I bought a 100 page newsprint pad that’s like, 36x24, and I’m drawing one circle per page. Big ones, small ones, different colored ones. Charcoal, pen, spray paint, acrylic, graphite, oil pastel, colored pencil. And I’m gonna decorate every page with my very own special sauce.”

You grin. “How’s it going so far?”

“Oh super good. I’m having so much fun, and it will be even better when I turn in my massive 100 pages, stapled at the top left corner just like she indicated in the syllabus. I’m really looking forward to watching her blow her top.”

“She’s a real stickler for rules?”

Jinx’s doc martens are up on your dash, and her legs are bouncing fitfully. “Oh yeah, Ms Halloway lives and breathes order. I think she’s had it out for me since day one because I kept questioning her boring little syllabus. But I’m good at adapting, and as dad likes to say, the only way to defeat a superior enemy is to become what they fear. So I became chaos.”

“Poor Ms. Halloway. She had no idea who she was messing with when she picked on you.”

“Oh I think she did, and that’s why she’s now my arch nemesis.”

“Wow, an arch nemesis, and you’re so young! Your dad must be proud.” 

“Oh yeah, he totally is. He says it’s important to be disliked by people. It means you’re honest, and aren’t afraid to have opinions that go against a narrative.”

“Your dad is very wise.”

“Yeah. But he’s a bit of a hypocrite though.”

“What do you mean?”

“He says he thinks it’s good when people dislike me, and then he quietly ruins their lives when they do.”

“Oh.” 

You side eye the girl. She’s chewing on her chipped fingernails. 

“Well,” You say slowly. “I know my mom has a hard time keeping a fair perspective when it comes to me and my sister. When she hears we’ve been hurt, she wants to hunt down the culprit and kill them. And that’s not an exaggeration. She wanted to throttle my old boss Jeremiah. Still does, actually.”

“That must be why Leslie and Silco get along so well. A mutual desire for murder on their children’s behalf.”

You smile. “I’m sure that whenever your dad acted, it wasn’t out of spite, but love.”

“I know that,” She sighs. “But try telling that to the world! It’s hard to make friends when everyone knows who my dad is, and that he could literally end you or your career at any second.”

“True friends won’t get scared away that easily. They’ll stay and love you anyway.” 

“Like you.”

You swallow back a sudden tightening in your throat as she grabs your free hand and holds it in her lap in a protective way.

You drive to Old Hungry in contented, companionable silence, listening to the music and wondering how on earth you got lucky enough to be chosen and loved by the such a weird, beautiful, broken, messy family. 

Notes:

Peace and Blessin's y'all <3