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Marinette turned on the sink, then winced as she accidentally scalded herself on the too-hot water. In no time, the pot she was scrubbing was full of suds. She hummed along to the radio, which was playing a song she knew.
“Marinette?”
Marinette whirled around, dripping soap suds all over the freshly mopped kitchen floor.
Kagami was there, trailed by a small, blonde girl. She looked apologetic. “Did Juleka text you? They were supposed to call tonight before bed.”
Marinette wiped her hands dry on a dishrag, trying not to look as flustered as she felt. “I’ll check,” she said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Sure enough, there was a missed text from Juleka.
Glancing at Kagami, who was doing a poor job of hiding her irritation, Marinette crouched down at the little girl’s level. She was determined not to let her mistake ruin bedtime. “You go jump into bed with Aunt Kagami, okay? I’ll be in there as soon as I get your moms on the phone.”
“Okay,” said Camille.
Marinette waited until she and Kagami were out of earshot to breathe a sigh of relief. One week, she reminded herself. She just had to get through one week of housesitting with her ex. Then Marinette could go back to her original plan of never speaking to Kagami again for the rest of her life.
Juleka answered the phone on the second ring. “Hey. How is she?”
“Good!” said Marinette, trying to sound as casual as possible. Juleka was helping her wife recover from heart surgery. The last thing she needed was to be burdened with Marinette’s petty emotional problems. “Everything’s going fine! Kagami’s just getting her into bed. You’re right on time to say goodnight.”
“Perfect,” said Juleka. “I’ll switch to video so she can see Rose.”
Marinette tiptoed into Camille’s darkened bedroom. “Look who came to say goodnight,” she whispered.
“Hi, sweetheart,” said Rose. Juleka helped her sit up in bed.
Camille leaned forward, taking Marinette’s phone out of her hands. “Mama! Are you okay?”
“I am,” said Rose, smiling. “I’m taking a medicine that makes me very tired, and look!” She pulled down the collar of her nightgown, revealing a collection of wires taped to her chest. “The doctors are using these to keep an eye on my heart. As soon as they know for sure that the surgery worked, I’ll run right home to you. I promise.” She pulled a stuffed unicorn into the frame. “Thank you for letting me borrow Mr. Noodles. He’s been so comforting.”
Camille nodded solemnly. “He’s going to help you heal,” she said.
“I know,” Rose told her. “Are you being good for Aunt Marinette and Aunt Kagami?”
“She is,” said Marinette, tousling Camille’s hair. “This morning I forgot how much food to give the dogs, but Camille reminded me.”
“And she brushed her teeth tonight without complaining,” Kagami put in.
Rose beamed. “That’s my little blossom. I’m so proud of you, Camille! I can’t wait to get home and see you and the dogs. But I know it’s almost past your bedtime.”
Camille pouted. “I’m in bed. I want to talk to you and Mum some more.”
“We’ll call again tomorrow afternoon,” said Juleka firmly. “Goodnight!”
Marinette returned to her dishes while Kagami finished Camille’s bedtime rituals. She was almost done putting the dinner things in the dishwasher when Kagami emerged.
“I need a drink,” said Kagami with a sigh. “I love Camille, but bedtime never comes too soon.”
Marinette nodded, grateful that Kagami had chosen a safe topic. They both loved their niece, even though they agreed that spending too much time with Camille reminded them why they weren’t ready to become parents.
Kagami prepared herself a drink at the well-stocked bar: Rose and Juleka survived parenting a rambunctious little girl by carving out adult time every evening. Marinette did her best to ignore her, which wasn’t easy. The house wasn’t that big.
To stop herself from staring at Kagami, she took down the dog bowls from their shelf by the sink and consulted the note she had written that morning. Desmond, the Great Dane, got one and a quarter cups of food every morning and evening, while Molière, the chocolate lab, got a cup and a half. The dogs nosed around Marinette’s ankles while she measured and poured their supper.
“Stop,” she giggled. “Sit! Desmond, Molière, sit!”
Molière, who was as food-motivated as he was competitive, sat immediately, giving Marinette a look that seemed to say, “See? I’m the good one!”
Desmond, meanwhile, stared at Marinette in something like contempt.
Marinette sighed. She didn’t dislike dogs, but she didn’t understand why Rose and Juleka needed two gigantic ones.
“Desmond, sit!” called Kagami from the bar. Desmond sat at once, thumping his ropelike tail.
And that was worse, Marinette reflected. Why didn’t she inspire that kind of respect? She wasn’t sure if she was imagining that Kagami was gloating.
“Shall I make you one?” Kagami asked as the dogs attacked their food with much slobbering and chomping.
“One what?” Marinette hoped she didn’t sound hostile. She felt hostile.
It wasn’t fair that being trapped here with her ex girlfriend was instantly turning her back into the worst-possible version of herself. Why had she agreed to do this?
But that was an easy answer. Marinette would have parted an ocean if Rose asked her to.
Kagami held up a bottle. “A drink,” she said, and her face betrayed no malicious intent, only openness and honesty. “I remember how you like them.”
Marinette tucked the lock of hair that had fallen from her bun behind her ear. “Sure.”
They sat on opposite ends of Rose and Juleka’s couch, talking about nothing in particular. Kagami’s career had taken off splendidly since they had last talked, and how was Marinette?
Marinette was fine. She emptied her drink too quickly.
She was being unfair to Kagami, of course. Marinette had initiated the breakup, and she had never been able to explain why to anyone else’s satisfaction. If she had married Kagami instead of breaking up with her, she would have spent the rest of her life keeping secrets—keeping the secret—from a woman who abhorred them. Kagami would have come to resent her in the end. It was easier this way.
“It is good to see you,” said Kagami softly. “When you left, I thought—”
Marinette closed her eyes, gripping her empty glass. She didn’t want to hear this. She had already endured it from her father, Alya, and even Adrien, who usually had the decency to pretend Marinette’s worst impulses were sensible.
“Can we not?” she asked. “I don’t want to—to relitigate our breakup.”
“Of course not,” said Kagami, which only made Marinette feel worse. She was just as devastatingly beautiful tonight as she had been the day Marinette ruined both of their lives.
“Why don’t we watch TV?” Marinette suggested, desperate for something to break the silence. They had both promised to try to be friends, hadn’t they? That had gone out the window immediately. “Are you still watching that murder mystery show?”
Kagami studied Marinette’s face for a long moment. “Yes,” she said. “I’m on season eight, though. You’ve missed a lot.”
Marinette crossed her legs, trying to seem casual. She could survive this. She had been Ladybug once, hadn’t she? “Catch me up, then,” she said. “What happened to Lucy Liu’s character?”
Three episodes of Kagami’s show, plus plenty of pauses for her to tell Marinette about all the new characters and plot lines, distracted them for the rest of the evening.
In spite of herself, Marinette kept remembering all the reasons she had fallen in love with Kagami. Reasons why, even after three months’ separation, she still loved Kagami. Loving her was easier than breathing,
“I’m going to bed,” said Kagami at last, turning off the TV. “Are you coming?”
“Yes,” said Marinette reluctantly.
Another weak point of life at Rose and Juleka’s house: there was only one bed, and the couch was too narrow to think of sleeping there instead.
Marinette lay beside Kagami in the dark, careful not to touch her. If she touched her once, she wouldn’t stop.
Marinette closed her eyes, determined to sleep.
She awoke several hours later to twisted sheets and someone else’s ragged breathing. She knew at once what was happening. Every now and then, Kagami’s nightmares followed her into the waking world.
Marinette didn’t think. She did what she always did when Kagami’s fear woke her up. Rolling over, she wrapped her body around Kagami and pushed her sweat-soaked hair off her forehead.
“Shh,” she whispered, kissing Kagami’s temple. “I’m here, love. I’m here. You got out of there.”
“Marinette,” Kagami rasped. Marinette could feel her wild heartbeat. “You came back.”
Marinette swallowed a sudden surge of guilt as she remembered where she was and what she was doing. Had this nightmare been about her? “I’m here,” she repeated, pulling away.
Kagami nestled into her chest. “Stay here,” she murmured. “Please.”
Marinette caught a lucky break. Desmond pushed open the bedroom door just then and flopped into the bed. She allowed his bony, wriggling body to push them apart, though not without a twinge of guilt. “There,” she said, pushing off her half of the blankets. “A guard dog.”
Then, cursing herself with every step, Marinette fled for the kitchen.
Leaning against the sink, Marinette splashed cool water on her face and tried to force herself to think straight. Why was she such a coward? Kagami was all she wanted, all she’d ever wanted. So why couldn’t she bring herself to stay there, even for the night?
The clock above the oven told her it was almost six a.m. She’d left her phone charging on the nightstand, and Marinette wasn’t prepared for that walk of shame.
The bookshelf in the living room was spectacularly unhelpful, as far as distractions went. The bottom two shelves were full of age-appropriate books for Camille. Higher up was Rose’s collection of love poems and romance novels. On the top shelf, safely out of Camille’s reach, were Juleka’s gothic horror books.
With nothing to read, Marinette turned on the TV, but that was a doomed effort as well. Lucy Liu stared at her accusingly from an episode thumbnail. Why can’t you be honest about what you want? her piercing eyes seemed to ask.
“I’m sorry,” Marinette said to her.
She needed to pull herself together, and fast. Kagami got up every day at six thirty to start her exercise regimen. Since Marinette couldn’t make herself disappear, she needed to use the time between now and then to decide exactly what she was going to say to her.
“I’ll figure it out,” she told Lucy Liu. “I promise.”
Marinette turned off the TV. Then, collecting a piece of pink, scented paper and a pencil from Rose’s desk, she began to write.
When Kagami emerged from the bedroom half an hour later, Marinette was waiting for her at the dining room table. There were two cups of coffee in front of her.
“I know this throws off your routine,” Marinette began. “But can we talk?” She pushed one of the cups towards Kagami. “I remember how you like it.”
Kagami raised the cup to her lips and took a sip. “It’s perfect.”
Marinette took a deep breath. Even first thing in the morning, Kagami was a vision. A million dreams for her future—their future—shone in the morning sun, hers if only she could pull this off. She unfolded the letter.
“Kagami, I’ve never stopped loving you, and I want—I want to try again. But before you say anything, there’s something you need to know. I can’t bear to spend another moment keeping secrets from you.”
Marinette closed her eyes. Doing this would change everything forever. She just hoped she wasn’t too late.
“I’m Ladybug,” she whispered. She couldn’t open her eyes, couldn’t bear to see Kagami’s reaction. “I’m Ladybug, and I love you so much. I—”
Kagami interrupted her with a soft, tender kiss, and all Marinette’s lingering doubts melted away. She could have this. Here, in Kagami’s arms, she was home.