Chapter Text
"Fuck." Faith shouted as soon as she landed back in her dimension. "This cannot be happening!"
Her stomach is churning, and she's pretty sure it's never going to stop
Faith allowed herself a full thirty seconds to completely freak out before getting control and focusing on what she would do next. She has to finish what she started.
It can't have all been for nothing.
She knocked and waited for some nameless vampire to open the door and lead her down the hall.
When she entered the office, she kept her eyes averted from what she knew would be in the corner. If she looked, she knew she'd lose her composure, which wouldn't work out for anyone involved.
She waited patiently while the woman sitting behind the desk filed her nails and pretended like she didn't know Faith was there.
"Show some respect." She was shoved from behind and forced to her knees. It took all her self-control not to take a swing at her attacker. Even though she knew she couldn't win the fight - that wasn't what stopped her. It was the cage in the corner that did that.
If she resisted in any way, it wasn't she who would suffer the most.
"I did what you asked." Faith finally said, and the woman rolled her eyes.
"Did you?" She stood and leaned over the desk to stare down at Faith. "The dimensions don't seem to be ripping apart to me!"
"I did what you asked." Faith repeated. She considered pointing out that it wasn't her stupid plan, but she followed it to perfection. "Give me what you promised."
"Fine, whatever. It's not like you're going to get to enjoy it. Thanks to you, this world is crumbling, and we are trapped here." The woman waved her hand, and Faith couldn't believe it was actually happening. She refused to look to the corner until she heard the door being unlocked.
"Faith?" Buffy's voice was hoarse and broken. "What… what is going on?"
Faith kept her cool and approached Buffy carefully. "I'll explain everything. Let's just get out of here." Faith reached out her hand, but Buffy wouldn't take it.
Buffy's eyes narrowed, "it's your fault I'm even here."
"I know. I know it is. You have no idea how sorry I am. Let me get you out of here and where you belong." Faith was barely holding back her tears. "I can bring you to Willow."
Buffy's face twitched at the mention of Willow, and Faith wasn't entirely sure why. She reached out her hand again, and Buffy again ignored it.
Buffy almost fell when she tried to take her first step. Faith moved to her quickly and stopped her fall. Faith was surprised that Buffy didn't push her away. Faith wrapped her arm around Buffy's waist and guided her out of the office.
"Have fun, girls." The woman behind the desk grinned and waved at them. Faith really wished there was something she could do to wipe that smile off her face. Anything she tried to do would just take away from her time with Buffy, and she wouldn't risk it.
When they stepped outside City Hall, they stood there for several moments.
"Shit." Faith realized. "I don't know where we can go."
"My house?" Buffy offered, but Faith shook her head.
"It's gone. Most of the town is gone."
Buffy frowned. "Gone? What do you mean gone?" Buffy had yet to take in her surroundings, and she still didn't want to. Her focus was narrowed in on Faith and trying to figure out how to stay upright.
Faith sighed and just started walking, hoping they'd find some abandoned house they could squat in until Buffy got her strength back.
"What is wrong with Sunnydale?" Buffy manages to ask as she watches Faith break down a door of one of the few remaining houses. It's getting harder to ignore their desolate surroundings and pretend like things are anywhere near ok.
"It's ripping apart." Faith says off-hand. She hopes she doesn't have to explain too much. She just wants to get Buffy to Willow as soon as possible. If she does that, then maybe it will all be worth it.
"Just Sunnydale? Or the whole world?" Buffy isn't sure why she's asking.
Faith sighed and rubbed her temple. "The Hellmouth - it… it opened. When you… died." Faith couldn't quite keep back her tears.
Buffy sat back and watched Faith carefully. She wasn't positive yet whether or not this was a trick. "You care that I died?"
Faith's eyes snapped up. "Of course I did! How can you..." Then Faith shook her head. "Look - I know you picked her - I know you love her. So I'm gonna get you to her. The world might be crumbling - but you deserve to be happy, B."
"I was happy." Buffy frowns. She wasn't following what Faith was saying. Everything was too confusing and painful to even think about trying to make sense of Faith. Even under normal circumstances, she didn't understand the other slayer.
"I know you were. That's why I'm getting you back to her." It hurt Faith more and more each time to talk about Willow, but she would do anything to bring Buffy even the smallest amount of happiness.
"No." Buffy cut her off. "I mean... Where I was… after I died. I was happy, and I was free. Why am I here? Is this hell?"
Faith's mouth dropped open. Never in a million years did she imagine Buffy had been in heaven. Though maybe she just didn't think about it. Now that she is - where else would Buffy have gone? "You were in heaven?" Faith feels stupid asking the question, but she is so shocked that she doesn't know what else to say.
"I... maybe." Buffy looked around and pulled her knees to her chest. "This must be hell. It's the only thing that makes sense. Why else would you be here?" Buffy says this casually as if it isn't the most devastating Faith could hear at this moment.
Faith falls further into herself with that last biting comment. "You make a good point." Faith refuses to let Buffy see her cry again. After everything she did to the other Buffy, she deserved far worse.
Buffy didn't mean to hurt Faith with what she said. It was very confusing to her that Faith was clearly fighting back tears. "Why are you here?"
"Like you said - must be hell." Faith replies dispassionately. "Nothing else makes sense."
"Who was that woman in the office?" Buffy can't handle trying to make sense of Faith's weird behavior. Just the fact that Faith is talking to her like a normal person is mind-boggling. She hopes asking about something else will help her piece things together.
Faith sighed, "what does it matter?"
"You made some kind of deal with her - a deal to set me free." Buffy's recollection of recent events was very hazy, and she was trying really hard to make what bits she could remember fit together.
"I don't really know who she is. All I know is she had captured you somehow. She told me that if I helped her - she would… give you to me." Faith felt dirty with that last part, but she was so sick of pretending. She regrets every choice she's made lately and is determined to do better with her last moments.
"What does that mean? Give me to you?" Buffy asks with alarm.
"It's not like I was planning on keeping you or anything. Like I said, I'm taking you to Willow." Faith juts her chin out, hoping they can move past this discussion.
Buffy's brain felt thick, but the only thing she was sure of was that she didn't want to go to Willow. "No."
"No? No, what?"
"I don't want to go to Willow."
"Come on, B. Why not? The world is about to end - you should be with your girlfriend."
"My whatnow?"
Faith rolls her eyes, "you don't gotta hide it."
"I'm not hiding anything." Buffy rubs her temples. "I don't have a girlfriend. Willow has one, though… Tara?" Buffy is proud of herself for remembering the name. Her memory is starting to clear, but there is still a lot she can't quite reach.
"Tara? Don't know any Tara." Faith frowns in realization. "Holy shit. You're not… you're not the Buffy from here!"
"Huh?" Buffy asks, "how scrambled did your brains get in that coma?"
"Coma?" Faith asks but shakes her head. There's no point in talking about any of this because they don't know each other. "Look, B. I'm not who you think I am. There are all these different dimensions with different versions of us."
Buffy wants to argue about this, but then she remembers how she died, and things start to make sense. At least her kind of sense - which is none. "Glory."
"Fuck!" Faith screams and puts her fist through the wall. She had done terrible things to save the woman she loved, and it wasn't even the right Buffy. "I failed you."
The tears fall freely now as Faith fully accepts her situation. She's surprised when Buffy is by her side and helping her pull her arm out of the wall. She latches on to Buffy and squeezes her while her body shakes from the force of her crying.
Faith isn't sure how long she's been cuddled up against Buffy. She doesn't even know how they got in this position. Last she remembered, she was putting her fist through a wall. Now she's lying in bed with her arms wrapped around Buffy.
"Do you think… do you think my Buffy is in Heaven?" Faith breaks the silence.
"I don't see why not," Buffy answers with a shrug.
Faith doesn't want to, but she forces herself to sit up and pull away from Buffy. "We should try to get you out of here before this dimension implodes."
"Get me out of here?" Buffy doesn't move from her reclined position and wishes Faith would lie back down.
"Yeah, gotta do something - right? Just 'cause I'm trapped here doesn't mean you have to be."
"I guess." Buffy agrees, but really she'd be fine just laying with Faith until the world ended. It didn't make sense to her, but Buffy felt safe for the first time in a long time. She's not ready to give that up. "Not yet, though."
Faith wants to point out that there might not be much time left. But even though this isn't her Buffy, she can't deny her anything.
Suddenly Buffy bolts upright and starts breathing heavily.
"B?" Faith moves with her and frantically tries to check her for injuries.
"Willow," Buffy says with a growl. "She… I remember now."
"Remember what? So you want to go find her?" Faith tries not to sound upset about this. It was her plan all along.
Buffy shook her head vehemently. "She ripped me out of heaven. I can hear her chanting in my head." Buffy starts to smack herself in the head, and Faith wraps her in a tight bear hug so she can't hurt herself.
"Maybe she didn't know? She loves you, B. So much - you don't even..." Faith hates trying to defend Willow - it's making her sick.
"Not this Willow - my Willow." Buffy tries to explain. "She brought me back to life, but Glory must have grabbed me before I could get out of my coffin."
"Fuck, B. I'm so sorry." Faith has no idea what to say or do. She wishes she could do anything to help, but everything she does makes things worse.
Buffy's breathing starts to slow, and Faith relaxes her grip. "You love me?"
Faith is startled by the abrupt change in topic and isn't sure what to say. "I loved her. But she's gone, and it's all my fault."
"How is it your fault?"
"If I hadn't… If I could have dealt with her picking Willow - I would have been here to help. Maybe I could have saved her." Faith chokes the last words out - she had never really let herself believe that she could have saved Buffy, and it was devastating to say out loud.
Buffy wipes away Faith's tears. "Do you think my Faith loved me?"
"From what I hear - I'm destined to love you in all dimensions." Faith smiles and leans into Buffy's touch.
Buffy is looking at Faith in a way she never had before. All of their interactions replaying in her mind. "I almost killed my Faith," Buffy says, placing her hand over Faith's stomach. "I wonder what would have happened if you were my Faith."
Faith swallows hard and tries not to think too much about Buffy's words or where her hand is.
The house shakes around them, but neither slayer reacts.
"We don't have much time left." Faith says. "We should go. I know how to get you out of this dimension."
"What about you?"
"I fucked everything up. I'm trapped here, and I deserve to be."
Buffy chooses to ignore Faith's guilt for the moment. "Where would you send me?"
Faith swallows hard. "You would go back to your original dimension."
"I don't want to go back there." Buffy is not sure of much - but she is sure of this.
Faith sighs, "please, B. Please let me do something good. You deserve to be alive."
Buffy wants to argue Faith's point. She sacrificed herself to save the world - shouldn't she be done? Isn't that what she deserves? She sees Faith's determination and decides to agree for Faith's sake. The last thing she wants is to spend their last moments together arguing. "Ok."
Faith jumps from the bed and grabs Buffy's hands. Now that decision is made - she doesn't want to risk missing the chance to send Buffy home. "Let's go."
The slayers run full speed towards the UC Sunnydale campus. They dodge falling debris and reroute around areas where the earth has split apart. But by some small miracle, they arrive on campus before the earth completely implodes, and the structure is still intact.
"You're taking me to the Initiative?"
Faith hadn't heard that name, but she reasoned it was the same group of soldiers she knew about. "They developed tech to send dimension travelers back to where they belong."
Buffy really wonders where she belongs. She hopes that she'll be sent back to the ether. Even though she knows exactly where she'll end up.
In her coffin - buried six feet underground with only her fists to break her free.
Buffy follows Faith through the darkened hallways. At every turn, she hopes they'll find the ceiling has collapsed and they won't be able to reach their destination. She's always hated the feel of the underground compound and had never imagined she'd have to come back here.
Buffy tries not to show her disappointment when they reach the central hub of the compound. This is clearly where Faith was taking her, and it's the only area that seems to still have power.
Faith immediately moved to the console, checking to ensure everything was operational. Then she scanned Buffy, who was watching her with amazement.
Faith ignored Buffy's look of wonder. Trying not to be annoyed that clearly, Buffy thought Faith was too dumb to operate all this equipment. She tries to believe it's just because the other version of her was dumb, but this is how everyone has always treated her.
Faith wasn't nearly as dumb as everyone thought she was. It allowed her to learn how to use this tech while everyone thought she was goofing off.
It only took a few minutes to enter Buffy's information. Faith motioned to the glowing pad in the center of the room.
Buffy hesitated and instead walked towards Faith. "Are you sure you can't come with me?"
Faith shook her head. "I'm sure, B. Now hurry up before we run out of time." The earth rattled around them to prove Faith's point.
"But..." Faith pushed Buffy towards the platform. She couldn't take another minute of this.
"You have to go now."
Before Faith could push her away. Buffy launched herself forward and wrapped her arms around the other slayer. "There has to be a way," Buffy argues with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Please, Faith. I can't..." Buffy wasn't even sure what she couldn't do. She didn't want to go back, but she also didn't want to leave Faith.
"I fucked up, B. I have to pay for what I did." Faith wipes Buffy's tears away. "But hey - at least I did something good. Right?" Faith knew it wasn't nearly enough to make up for the damage she'd caused.
Buffy didn't really understand what was happening. Faith was evil. This Faith admitted to doing horrible things and deserving to die - why did it weigh on her so much?
As much as Faith was enjoying this hug - she knew they were running out of time. She shoved Buffy away from her and onto the pad. "Goodbye, B."
"I don't want to leave you. I..." Whatever Buffy was going to say was swallowed up by a brilliant white light. Faith had enough time to hope that wherever this Buffy went - she'd be happy.
Buffy wakes precisely where she expected to.
She lays still for several minutes. Briefly, she considers never moving again. Soon, no oxygen will be left, and she can drift off to oblivion.
Doing that wouldn't be fair to Faith, though. Faith needed her to live, so that's what she would do.
Punching her way out of the coffin was as horrific as expected. By the time she's done, her hands and forearms are covered in scratches and grime.
Once she's free, she raises her face to the sky and takes in a deep breath.
"I can do this." She convinces herself and takes determined steps toward home.
As soon as she reaches the street, she is surrounded by chaos. Her resolve falters, but she jumps into action when she sees the first demon.
Once word gets out that the slayer is, in fact, alive - the demons that had been terrorizing Sunnydale quickly disperse.
Buffy returns home to find a confused but very excited Dawn. Since the demon activity has ended, her friends also return to the Summers' home.
Buffy does her best to hide how she's feeling. Not letting them see that she's dead inside and can barely tolerate breathing. Spike somehow sees more than the others, and she avoids him as much as possible.
It disgusts her how he looks at her, and it disgusts her even more that she considers giving in to him. He always says the right things and never asks her if she's ok. He's the only one she can stand to be around, but she hates being around him the most.
The conflict drives her crazy, and she knows there is only one solution. She gives him a choice, but he doesn't believe she'll actually do it. Their fight is brutal, and once she realizes he can hit her back - she lets the fight go on for longer than she planned.
She still wins, and she has one less thing tormenting her.
It takes over a month for Buffy to start feeling like herself again. Everything is still too bright and too sharp, but she's getting better at not cringing away from it.
Her friends have finally stopped asking how she is every five minutes, so she's stopped having to lie. Now that Spike is gone - the hardest is definitely dealing with Willow.
Buffy's best friend still doesn't quite understand why Buffy isn't more grateful to be alive, and Buffy is sick of pretending she is.
Whenever she sees Willow, she focuses on Faith and tries to make her sacrifice mean something.
That version of Faith loved some version of Buffy, and even if they were both gone now, Buffy felt like she owed it to them to do something with the life she was forced back into.
Buffy frowns and wonders what she's doing as she sits down and faces Faith on the other side of the steel-reinforced glass. There is no chance that this conversation goes the way she wants it to.
This Faith was nothing like the other dimension's Faith. This Faith was unrepentant and never showed an ounce of remorse for the terrible things she's done.
Or had she? Buffy could still remember Faith's expression that day at the jail. At the time, Buffy had written it off as a trick of some kind, not believing that Faith would stay in jail. But it was two years later, and she still hadn't escaped.
That must mean that there is hope for this Faith.
She really, really hopes that's what it means. Otherwise, she is making the biggest mistake of her entire life.
"B, long time no see." Faith says, cradling the phone to her cheek.
"Yeah. Sorry about that." Buffy winces, knowing how hollow her words must sound.
Faith raises an eyebrow but doesn't otherwise acknowledge Buffy's apology. Buffy is staring at her hard, and it's very intimidating.
"How are things in here?" Buffy asks and then chuckles. "that's probably a dumb question."
Faith shrugs, "it's not so bad. Three meals a day and a bed to call my own."
"Faith, I..." Buffy knows this is a bad idea, but she needs to know. "I came here to ask you something."
"Ask away." Faith is doing her best to appear disinterested, even though she's sure Buffy can hear her heart racing.
Buffy licks her lips, her throat suddenly feeling very dry. "Was there ever a time that you... felt anything for me? Romantically?"
Faith's face contorts several times, and Buffy hopes it doesn't settle on anger. Faith is far too confused to be angry. "Why… why would you ask me that?"
There are many ways to answer that question, but Buffy hasn't worked any of them out. She didn't think it would make sense to explain about different dimensions and the other Faith she met.
"Because I want to know." Buffy settled on the lamest of the reasons for her question. She's fragile and doesn't think she can take any more disappointment.
"What does it matter?" Faith's voice is eerily flat.
Buffy is disappointed and decides that the answer must be no. "I guess it doesn't. Nevermind." Buffy doesn't regret asking - at least she knows now.
"B?" Faith leans forward and hates how much she wants to hug Buffy right now. She looks so sad and lost; all Faith wants to do is make it better.
It makes no sense to her that Buffy is even here - never mind asking about her feelings. Faith is never leaving this place, and if Buffy wasn't so obviously upset - Faith would think Buffy came here just to add to her punishment.
Buffy wipes at a tear and pushes out a breath. "You'll be getting out of here soon. I'd really like it if you came to Sunnydale when you do."
Faith can't process what Buffy is saying. Her mouth opens, but no words come out. This conversation wasn't what she expected when she learned she had a visitor.
Buffy does her best not to break down as she stands. "I'll understand if you don't."
Buffy is gone before Faith can figure out what to say.