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Another sleepless night, one of those where he would question why his family, why his sweet and loving mother, why his little and innocent siblings, why had Nezuko become a demon, why was he the only one left uninjured, why had he not gone home that night.
His thoughts continued to spiral in his mind and all he could do was agree, he should have been there and saved them or at least he should have died with them. Maybe Giyu would have found them all dead the next day or maybe it would have been someone else but at least he would have been with them even if they were dying it would have been all worth it.
And then everything became too much, he did not know why or when had he decided that cutting his own skin had become so important for him, he did it at first as a release from all the bad things he had been through then it became a punishment for not being enough, for not training hard enough, for not being a good brother and the list went on but at some point it have became a sick addiction that he couldn't get rid of.
Right now all he could think of was getting his katana and cutting his arm deep enough to hit a vein, but it was late at night. Zenitsu and Inosuke were both peacefully asleep. He knew that Zenitsu would be able to hear his skin tear apart but he didn't care at the moment all he wanted was to purge that fucking urge.
So he went on with it, he grabbed his katana that was laying on the floor right next to him and the rest was a blur, the last he could remember was the cut and how deep it looked. How at first it was just a sickening white line, then it started to hurt and bleed at first ever so slowly but in what felt like a second it was now bleeding heavily and all of a sudden he was feeling dizzy as heck.
The blood that came out of the cut was getting everywhere and he was starting to panic, his breathing was so ragged and shallow that Zenitsu had woken up just by how bad it sounded, at first he thought Tanjiro was having some kind of bad dream but when he turned around and saw all the blood he immediately knew something was wrong.
He grabbed some of the bandages they carried around and secured them around the injury.
He wondered how Tanjiro got a cut so deep, but then he saw his friend's now forgotten katana laying on the floor stained with blood. And then it all made sense.
Tanjiro, who was now a crying mess, had cut himself with his own katana for reasons he didn't know. Or well he knew the tiny bits about what had happened to his family.
And then all he knew was that he had somehow managed to make him spill the tea, about how he felt so useless and dumb, and right after Tanjiro had fallen asleep out of exhaustion.
He didn't know if this was something he was going to regret but maybe he could ask Lady Shinobu for some advice on how to deal with all of this but for now he would make sure Tanjiro was always superviced when they weren't on the battlefield. He trusted him with his life but he wasn't taking any chances.