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It's a slow build up, like a slowly filling balloon that can burst at any time. It all starts when they move in together because Billy doesn't have anywhere to go and Steve wants to make it on his own- without his parents' money so they pack up into the Camaro and get out of that shit hole midwest America and end up in California in a shoebox apartment.
Steve finds himself a job managing the local video store while Billy ends up at a chop shop for shit pay with equally shitty hours but they make it work, sort of.
They're still getting used to each other, being around another person, living with another person so it's a teetering battle between Billy's lack of relationship experience and Steve's lack of well, real world experience.
Their actual arguments are about something stupid like the colour of the bedspread or the way Steve loads the dishwasher or something else mundane that doesn't really matter because Steve is the one to blow up at Billy for no fucking reason except there is a reason and he won't actually come out and say it. Billy is no better, blowing up right back at him because this is so stupid why are we arguing about useless shit? and he gets even more frustrated that he can't figure out why Steve is actually mad so he does the thing that Neil could never do and walks out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him as he goes. He takes himself out of the situation because there's no way he'll ever let himself become his father.
He sits down on the apartment landing, pulls his crumpled pack of cigarettes out and lights one, sucking it down furiously.
It takes him three cigarettes and fifteen minutes to calm down. It takes him another thirty to convince himself he's ready to go back inside and face Steve.
He finds Steve curled into a ball on the couch watching something- whatever, he doesn't know doesn't care because Steve isn't actually watching. He's just curled up like a cooked shrimp with his head tucked against his knees.
"I'm sorry." He starts, not knowing what he's even apologizing for. He sits on the other end of the couch to give Steve space and turns off the TV, letting them fall into an uncomfortable silence.
"I fucked up again, didn't I?" He laughs pathetically, balling his fists against their beat up second hand couch.
Steve doesn't say a word, not a damned thing and Billy sighs, dropping back into the cushions.
"Talk to me, Harrington. Tell me what I did wrong so I can apologize and we can kiss and make up." His voice is low and shaking but he wants this to be done, he wants to get past this so they can move on from- from whatever this is.
"You're really shitty at this, y'know that?" Steve's voice is muffled from behind his arms but when Billy turns, he can see Steve's eye peeking out from the crook of his elbow, a little red and bloodshot.
Fuck.
He laughs, "And bears shit in the woods." But then there's a hand around his fist trying to lace fingers between his so he lets it happen, relaxing and letting Steve through the anger- the tension.
"... It's not about the bedspread." Steve says softly, squeezing his fingers.
"You sure? 'Cause that thing is ugly as fuck." Billy mumbles, squeezing back.
There's a rustle of fabric on fabric and Billy watches Steve unravel, letting his head fall back against the seat.
"We're both shit at this." He sighs, louder than he'd been since Billy came back in the house and then they both laugh because it's true- neither of them had been in long term relationships like this before. Sure, Steve had Nancy but that was hardly long term and for God's sake they were in highschool. That couldn't compare to this- to them.
"You need to learn how to talk to me." Steve says into the air.
"You need to learn how to cook something other than fucking boxed mac n' cheese." Billy counters and for a second, their eyes meet and it's silence but then they're laughing again because this is typical them. Messy and childish, tit for tat, all banter and tension.
"I just-" Steve starts after the laughter has died and they're still holding hands from opposite ends of the couch, "I just feel like I'm useless here, y'know? Like I'm holding you back because I can't do shit. Because I don't know how."
And Billy gets it, he really does. That's how he felt back in Hawkins too. He nods, brushing his thumb over Steve’s knuckles.
“You just... You know and I’m just here relying on you like a fucking child!” His grips gets a little tighter in Billy’s hand.
“I just wish I could help out more. I wish I could help you more.” And suddenly Billy doesn’t think he’s just talking about their living situation. Not the bedspread, not the dishes; he’s got a inkling that Steve’s talking about the ache in his chest from the scar, the nightmares, the headaches, the nosebleeds- everything he’d been feeling since Starcourt.
Steve lets out a shuddered breath, his grip loosens, and finally- finally he looks at Billy, eyes red and shiny with tears threatening the rims and Billy... Billy wants to pull Steve into a hug and tell him everything is fine- that he’s fine but maybe... maybe he’s not. Maybe he hasn’t been fine this whole time and that’s why he doesn’t talk to Steve; not about that day, not about the Mind Flayer, not about anything that happened in Hawkins.
He huffs out another laugh, defeated and relieved at the same time. “I really am shit at this.”
“Yeah.” Steve nods in agreement, cracking a little smile despite his red rimmed eyes.
“And you’re a shitty roommate, you know that?”
“Yep.” Steve pops the ‘p’ obnoxiously, like he always does.
This time, Billy does pull on Steve’s arm, yanking him across the couch and into his arms. He scoops Steve into his lap and buries his nose in his hair, inhaling deeply.
“I’ll try to do better with the whole... talking ‘n shit.” He says slowly.
“And I’ll try to do better with the whole... housewifing n’ shit.” Steve responds even slower.
So maybe they still get into a few arguments here and there, maybe Billy is still shit at communicating, and Steve definitely still leaves an empty carton of milk in the fridge and burns the bottom of the pan when he fries eggs but it’s them and they’re together and that’s all that really matters right now.
