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“You know, Arval,” Shez hums, “it’s kinda gay, the way you save my life all the time.”
There is a long moment of silence in their shared space before Arval sputters into a laugh.
“Gay? Gay?! Shez, I know you’re a little stupid, but this is ridiculous,” they titter, a genuine grin spreading across their face.
“No, no, really! I mean, why else do you do it, huh?” Shez presses, crossing their arms over their chest.
Arval sighs at their companion’s question, still smiling despite their slight frustration.
“Have you forgotten why I saved you in the first place? You are the key to stopping this world’s incessant cycle! If you die, this world falls back into the same old struggle it’s always dealt with. Our power, together, will break this cycle, I just know it,” they say, floating close enough to Shez to grip the human’s shoulders.
Another moment of silence passes between them before a smirk cracks across Shez’s face.
“You just said ‘our power’,” they grin.
“Yes? Because it is both my supernatural abilities and your battle prowess that will– and do– work together for you to claim victory in battle!”
“So you’re saying we work well together, is what I’m hearing,” Shez says, tipping their head to the side and raising their eyebrows at Arval.
Arval looks to the heavens of their dreamscape meetingplace, asking whoever was out there why in the world they chose this idiotic human to assist them in breaking the world’s harsh and pointless cycle.
“Shez, I beg you to stop this incessant silliness,” Arval says, leveling Shez with an earnest gaze. “We have other things to worry about.”
Shez shrugs, still smiling. “Maybe, but I still think it’s kinda gay that you’ve stuck with me so long after I’ve almost died like a million times.”
Arval rolls their eyes and turns away from Shez, effectively bringing an end to their meeting.
When Shez wakes, they’re still smiling. They hadn’t met with Arval in a while, so it was nice to see them outside the occasional mental visit. Sure, Shez was essentially with the godly being constantly, their transformative powers always humming under their skin in case of an unexpected attack or mishap, but it wasn’t the same as being in the same space.
The subject of their meeting was just something silly Shez had thought up a while back during an expedition. They hadn’t been serious, really! It seemed Arval had thought them to be somewhat serious about the matter, though, or they would have been less… tense? Irritated? Shez was unsure how to read their godly companion about this particular incident. Flames, they barely knew how to read anyone, to be honest!
Shez shook away their thoughts and set about their day, pausing to give their owl a scratch on their way to the camp’s kitchen. They were surprised to find Caspar in the eating area, accompanied by a slumped-over Linhardt. The two were often together, of course, but the sun had barely risen and Linhardt was almost never seen in camp before the sun was in the middle of the sky.
“You guys are up early,” Shez remarks, settling across from them at their table. “What’s the occasion?”
Caspar grins at them from across the table and nudges Linhardt’s shoulder with his elbow.
“We’re going on an expedition! Lin wants to nap in a meadow nearby, and I suggested we make a day out of it!” the young man explains excitedly.
Linhardt only groans, leaning less on the table and more on his friend’s shoulder. Shez laughs at them, warmth spreading in his chest.
“You two are quite the pair,” Shez says, mostly to themself.
Caspar just shrugs and shovels the last bit of his breakfast into his mouth. “We’ve been friends since we were little kids, y’know? We just… work. Lin and I decided a long time ago to always be there for each other.”
“And I regret every moment of it,” Lindardt grumbles, just loud enough for Shez to hear.
Shez raises a brow at Caspar, expecting him to be hurt by his closest friend’s words, but the blue-haired boy just shakes his head and smiles.
“Come on, Lin, you know you love me. If you really hated being there for me, you would’ve let me die a thousand times over in all the battles we’ve had!” he says, reaching over to brush the hair out of Linhardt’s face. Linhardt blinks blankly at him for a moment before sighing.
“I suppose you’re right, Cas,” the green-haired man says, leaning into Caspar’s touch. “After all, you do make the best bedwarmer.”
A raging blush overtakes Caspar’s face as his friend says this, and Shez almost chokes on their pancakes.
“I hope that’s not all I’m good for,” he practically squeaks, and Linhardt offers him a small smile.
“Of course not, Caspar,” Linhardt hums, “You also give spectacular head.”
Caspar blanches and exasperatedly hisses out, “Linhardt! Shez is right there!”
His face is on fire, and Shez’s isn’t too far off. Linhardt just shrugs and looks over to Shez, eyes half-lidded with tiredness.
“Shez is an adult, aren’t they? And it’s not like they don’t know we’re together,” he says, noncommittal.
Shez’s eyes widen at that and they break eye contact with Linhardt.
“Uh, actually, I just thought you were best friends? But… congratulations, I guess?”
Linhardt blinks at them before smiling gently.
“You really didn’t know? We spend all of our time together for the most part, we tend to stick together in battle, and you’ve seen both of us save one another from dire hits time and time again. Saints, we even train and do chores together! I just don’t know how you didn’t see.”
Shez lets out a nervous laugh and scratches the back of their neck.
“I’m just not great at reading people,” they say, still a little red from embarrassment.
“Oh, I’m quite aware you’re not one of the shiniest apples in the bunch, but, well. I suppose now is just as good a time as any to let you know,” Linhardt says, leaning back onto Caspar’s shoulder.
Shez laughs at that, Linhardt’s words reminding them of a certain godly being.
“In any case, I’m happy for you,” Shez grins, the awkwardness between the three of them melting slowly away.
Caspar offers an apologetic smile as Linhardt looks like he’s about to fall asleep against Caspar’s shoulder. Shez finishes their breakfast and excuses themself to go train.
When they reach the training grounds, they find Hubert observing Ferdinand spar with another one of the Empire’s soldiers. Shez wanders up next to the imposing man, letting out an encouraging whoop as Ferdinand lands a particularly good blow against the other man. If Shez weren’t familiar with Hubert at all, they would have thought the man jumped at their sudden call. Had Shez surprised Hubert?
“I… didn’t notice you there,” Hubert frowns, green gaze flicking down to look at Shez briefly before turning it back to Ferdinand.
“Ha! Very funny, Hubert,” Shez says, leaning back on their hip to watch the end of the fight.
There is a moment of silence as the two of them watch Ferdinand slam the soldier to the ground, his short ponytail coming loose from the force and sending his copper hair flying about his face. Hubert swallows thickly and looks back down at Shez.
“Are you here to train, or just to ogle?” he huffs.
Shez blinks and looks up at Hubert, eyebrow raised.
“Uh, I could ask you the same thing?”
Hubert’s shoulders go rigid for a moment before he grumbles, “I was just waiting my turn.”
Shez hums and turns to fully face Hubert, a mischievous grin making its way onto their face.
“Your turn to what? Get thrown around by Ferdinand?” they press, leaning into Hubert’s space and waggling his eyebrows up and down.
Hubert scoffs at them and looks elsewhere, a slight blush blooming on his high cheekbones. Shez lets out a bark of laughter and leans away.
“I kid, I kid. I wouldn’t be surprised, though, if you guys were hiding stuff from me like that. I literally just found out about Linhardt and Caspar, like, ten minutes ago,” they say, turning back to watch as Ferdinand helps up the rattled soldier from the dirt.
Hubert looks severely at them, like what they just said was some horrifying revelation, and they blink back at him in confusion.
“There is– nothing like that going on between Ferdinand and I,” Hubert spits, crossing his arms over his chest. In complete opposition to his words, however, his blush creeps further down his cheeks.
Shez blinks again in confusion and takes a small step away from the man.
“Saints, you and Ferdinand–?!” Shez exclaims, before Hubert swoops down and clasps his hand over Shez’s mouth.
They stare at one another for a solid minute before Hubert releases Shez.
“It is… not what you think,” Hubert sighs, gaze growing distant. “I may have certain… feelings on the matter, but I imagine Ferdinand… differs. It is best not to discuss it.”
Shez yet again blinks in confusion as Hubert admits this to them.
“You haven’t told him?”
Hubert’s fist clenches at his side.
“No. And I do not plan to.”
Shez feels a shiver roll through them.
“Hubert, that… can’t be a good idea. What if he returns your feelings?”
“He most certainly will not,” Hubert laughs bitterly.
Shez frowns and turns back to watch Ferdinand, but he’s putting up his lance and turning towards the two of them with purpose.
“Good morning, you two! Planning on training your day away as I am?” Ferdinand grins as he approaches.
“Nah,” Shez shrugs, and Hubert looks at them with doubt, “I was going to train, but I think I should leave the grounds to you two.”
Ferdinand blinks at them and laughs a little in confusion.
“Whatever for? There’s plenty of room for all of us to train!”
Shez shoves their hands in their pockets and smirks.
“Hubert has something important to discuss with you. I better leave y’all to it.”
They turn abruptly at the end and make their way off of the grounds, hearing Hubert let out an exasperated sound after them. Shez feels Arval at the edge of their mind, and suddenly they are floating next to them as they walk.
“That was quite bold of you,” Arval hums, admiration in their voice.
“Well, I’m here to break cycles, right?” Shez shrugs.
“I just find it strange that you could suss out Hubert’s repressed feelings while being totally oblivious of the two nobles earlier,” Arval says, a laugh in their voice.
Shez shrugs again, a grin working its way onto their face.
“Guess I’m just a dull apple in some places and a shiny one in others.”
Arval fades out of view, a twin smile on their face.
The day progresses rather predictably, the late morning hours thankfully not including Shez discovering even more of their friends pining for one another. As interesting as it was, they had other things to worry about. They met with several facility masters, did some chores, and even stopped in the market to do some light shopping before the sun began to lower. As they made their way back from the market, Shez caught sight of a certain fellow mercenary sitting solemnly at the back of the camp’s modest chapel.
Shez sets their things outside the chapel and settles in a pew next to Byleth.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Shez speaks up after a long moment of silence.
Byleth turns to face them, their eyes meeting Shez’s in the waning sunlight of late afternoon.
“I was just thinking of my mother,” they say softly, looking away after mere seconds of eye contact.
“Yeah? What about her?” Shez prompts, tipping their head in interest.
“I wonder what color her hair was,” they say, fidgeting with the tips of their own light green hair.
“Well, I mean, her hair must’ve been green, right? Since your dad’s is, like, super blonde, and you definitely didn’t inherit that,” Shez offers.
Byleth smiles and shrugs. “It was only a passing thought. What about you? What’s on your mind?”
Shez leans back against the rough wood of the pew.
“Lately I’ve been thinking that I don’t pay enough attention to my friends. I mean, I didn’t even know Caspar and Linhardt were together! And don’t get me started on Hubert and Ferdinand… Who else is hiding a life-altering love for someone else I know?!” Shez babbled, running a hand through their hair.
“Maybe your mind was preoccupied? Perhaps, on the war? It’s alright not to know everything about your peers when the world is chaos,” Byleth says smoothly.
Shez shrugs and looks down at their hands.
“Oh, I guess so. You always know what to say, don’t you?”
“Not always. But I try.”
The sun sets as they sit in silence together, and a random thought pops into Shez’s mind.
“I have a weird question,” they blurt.
Byleth raises their eyebrows at Shez, waiting for them to continue.
“Is it gay to save someone’s life?”
A smile slips onto Byleth’s lips and they let out a gentle laugh.
“Okay, I know it sounds stupid, but what if you do it, like, all the time? Without fail?” Shez continues, “And what if you spend every bit of time with this person? And they know you like… like the back of their hand? And you, them?”
Shez expects Byleth to keep laughing them off, but they just tip their head in consideration at Shez.
“It sounds like you already know the answer to your question,” they say, blinking thoughtfully.
Shez snorts and shakes their head.
“I just thought of it as a joke, at first, but the more I saw how the others were around each other…”
“It became clear,” Byleth smiles at Shez.
“Hell, they call me their ‘partner in destiny’, how did I not notice earlier?!” Shez exclaims, mostly to themself.
Byleth laughs again and pats Shez’s shoulder.
“It sounds like you have a discussion ahead of you. I wish you luck with this person, whomever they may be,” they say.
Shez nods and sits with Byleth in silence for a bit longer before excusing themself.
When Shez lays down in their cot, nervousness flutters in their belly. Sure, they knew Arval like the back of their hand, but they were also a bit… dense. They weren’t sure if Arval even felt that way about people in general. What if they rejected them? What then? Shez felt some sympathy, then, for poor Hubert. They shouldn’t have thrown him to the wolves earlier, because now, facing the possibility of asking their own newly-realized crush if they returned their feelings was horrifying.
Shez tossed and turned for a while before the familiar pull of sleep dragged them into the dreamscape.
Arval was floating high in the dreamscape, leaning on some rubble that was fixed there. It didn’t seem like they noticed Shez when they arrived, so Shez clears their throat loudly. Arval leaps into the air and whirls around, manifesting their sword and holding it at the ready, eyes wide and alert.
“Oh,” they say, immediately lowering their weapon when they take in Shez, and floating down to their level. “I didn’t feel you there, sorry. You’ve kind of been cutting me off the past few hours.”
“I have?” Shez blinked, heat rising on his cheeks. “Uh, sorry about that. I didn’t realize.”
Arval sighed and shrugged.
“I suppose it’s good that you visited me, though, because I was a bit afraid you were gone for good. Irrational, I know.”
“Extremely! It’s not like… like anything could part us, I don’t think,” Shez says, realization peeking at the edge of their voice. “We’re partners in destiny, right?”
Arval makes a face that Shez can’t quite read, but they nod all the same.
“Right.”
They pause, and Shez feels a wave of unease roll through them.
“Is something wrong?” Arval asks, noticing the discomfort through their connection. “What’s wrong, Shez?”
Shez shakes their head and says quickly, “Nothing’s wrong, per se.”
Arval furrows their brow and opens their mouth to press for answers again, but Shez raises their hand in a plea for silence.
“I just… realized something? Today?” they croak, “And it’s kind of embarrassing that I hadn’t noticed until now.”
“Continue…?”
“So you know how last night I was teasing you?”
“About being gay, yes. What does that have to do with this?”
“Well, I think… I think I might be… gay. For you,” Shez explains, looking up at Arval’s floating form through their lashes. “And I wanna know, really, truly, if what you do for me isn’t just because of… our mission?”
Arval stares at them, mouth hanging open.
“You’re… serious?”
Shez nods, swallowing thickly.
“Well, Shez, I’m… honestly not sure. I’ve never really felt that way about… anyone?”
All at once, Shez feels their heart drop into their stomach and their vision swim. Of course their godly being wasn’t… wasn’t gay for them. Why would they? Shez was just some human pawn, useful for their godly whims, nothing more.
“Shez, I can feel you spiraling,” Arval cuts in.
Shez is immediately brought back into the moment.
“I’m not saying… no,” they say, playing with their fingers. “I just… you’re a human, and I’m a… I don’t even know what I am. We exist on entirely different planes, and we… we can’t even touch each other, Shez! Isn’t it pointless?”
Shez vehemently shakes their head.
“Nothing’s pointless if it’s involved with– with love,” they blurt.
Arval’s lips twitch and they look away from Shez, hair falling in a curtain around their face.
“You can’t be serious, Shez. You, love me?”
Shez walked up to Arval and reached for their hands.
“We can touch each other here,” they say, clasping Arval’s hands in their own.
Arval looks back at Shez with shock, but doesn’t pull away.
“And you’re always with me, even if you can’t quite be… there. I feel you, always.”
“But isn’t it… odd? Won’t others be concerned for you, falling in love with someone they know nothing of?”
Shez shrugs, “Who cares? If they’re my real friends, they’ll understand.”
Arval hums and looks down to observe their clasped hands and moves to intertwine their fingers.
“Oh, you. You vex me so,” they sigh, looking up into Shez’s eyes. “First you tease me about being in love with you, then you stumble in here saying you’re in love with me! It’s all quite strange. You’re quite strange.”
“Ah, sure I am, but I’m your partner in destiny, right? So let’s try this,” Shez grins.
Arval considers them for a moment before slowly nodding.
“Yes, let us… try.”
They shared a smile, and then Shez leaned down to kiss Arval. It was then Arval decided they could not just ‘try’, they would ‘do’.
They would make this work, however wild or strange it turned out to be. It was their destiny.