Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Monday

Robbe looks around with a curious, determined look in his eyes. He rapidly walks forward, dragging a heavy suitcase behind him while a big travel bag swings along on his back. He could already feel it hurting his muscles after his long trip around the airport, trying to find the right gate. Finally, after what feels like forever, Robbe sees a group of people standing together under the gate sign where they were supposed to meet up.

His heartbeat goes up as he gets closer to the group, getting nervous that it’s actually happening right now. Never in his life did he think he would sign up for something like this, but there’s definitely no way back now. Robbe takes a deep breath while he scans the people in the group, trying to get an idea of what kind of strangers he is going to spend the upcoming week with.

One woman catches sight of Robbe and starts waving at him, maybe recognizing him from the online pictures. As he gets closer, her warm smile widens.

“Hi there!” she says excitedly. “You must be Robbe?” The middle aged woman holds her hand out to him as soon as he reaches the group.

“Hi! Yes I am,” Robbe says and shakes her hand with a kind but slightly nervous look on his face. The group of seven people behind the woman are staring at Robbe curiously. He notices that most of them are around his age, some a little older.

A guy with brown hair happily waves at Robbe. “Welcome!” he says. The others of the group say their “hello’s” too, as Robbe greets them back.

“I’m happy to have you with us Robbe!” the woman starts again. “I’m Miranda, and I’m your guide for the week. Once everyone is here we’re gonna do the introductions with the whole group properly.” She glances at the piece of paper she’s holding and quickly writes something down. “We’re only waiting for one more person to show up.”

Robbe nods, “Sounds good!”

“Great!” Miranda smiles. “Are you excited for Sweden? And is this your first time doing something like this?”

“It is my first time yes, joining a group to go traveling. And I’ve never been to Sweden either, so this is all very new,” Robbe says and lets out a small giggle.

“Well don’t worry! You’re not the only one in the group who hasn’t done this before. And I can also assure you that this incredible experience will be one you will never forget.” Miranda’s eyes shine, looking very excited for the week.

Robbe feels some of his nerves calm down a little, knowing that he’s not the only one who’s a greenie in traveling with a whole group of strangers.

A girl from the group taps on Miranda’s shoulder to ask her something, prompting their conversation to end. Robbe looks around at the other people. Some are already in a conversation with each other and some are absentmindedly reading books. He then notices the guy with brown hair, the one who greeted him first, staring at him with a smile. The guy immediately walks up to him.

“Hey! Robbe was your name right?” he asks.

“Yup,” Robbe smiles. He shortly takes in the other guy’s appearance and notices that he looks a lot more prepared for this trip than Robbe himself. He’s wearing a whole hiking outfit, with a high-quality rain jacket, pants filled with pockets, big strong shoes, and a fitting backpack resting on his back. Robbe couldn’t help but wonder why he was already wearing this, considering they’re going to be sitting down on an airplane for the next few hours.

“I thought so,” the guy grins. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. Sometimes I tend to do that.”

“It’s okay,” Robbe laughs slightly. “And your name is..?”

“Oh yes, sorry! I know we’re not supposed to introduce ourselves yet, but,” he holds out his hand to Robbe. “I’m Bryan.”

Robbe takes Bryan’s hand in his own and smiles, “It’s nice to meet you!” He’s quiet for a few seconds before he quickly decides to speak up again. “So have you done anything like this before or..?” he eyes Bryan up and down again. “Considering your outfit,” he grins.

Bryan eagerly nods his head. “This is my third time joining a group, and I’ve done a lot of traveling on my own as well. A lot of people find it weird, but I absolutely love nature. It’s where I’m the happiest.”

“That’s cool though! You sound really passionate about it.”

“Oh I am!”

Just when Bryan is about to say more, Miranda interrupts everyone’s conversation. “Ah, there we have our final member!” she says loudly, smiling cheerfully.

Robbe turns around and sees a guy with striking bleached white hair rapidly walking in their direction with a confident, curious look on his face. As he gets closer, Robbe’s first thought is how incredibly good-looking this stranger is. He’s never really seen anyone like him. Just like Robbe, he isn’t wearing any sporty clothes either, but instead a leather jacket, with black jeans and Dr. Martens boots. In his right hand he’s holding the handle of a rolling suitcase.

“I hope I’m not too late,” the guy says, slightly out of breath as he stops in front of Miranda.

“No just in time! We’re at least still able to do the introductions before we have to board in 15 minutes.” The older woman holds her hand out. “Speaking of introductions, I’m Miranda, and as you can maybe guess, I’m your guide for the week.”

“I had a feeling yes,” the guy chuckles while shaking Miranda’s hand. “Sander.”

Robbe repeats the name in his head as he stares at the gorgeous stranger. Sander. It wasn’t a name he would’ve guessed for the boy, but he definitely likes it.

Sander looks around at the group of people in front of him, and when his eyes meet Robbe, it lingers just a few seconds longer. Robbe gives him a small smile, earning a cute grin back from the guy.

“Great!” Miranda says. “Now that everyone is here, our adventure can officially start! I hope you are all as excited as I am,” she happily looks around at the people that have automatically formed a circle around her. Some are excitedly nodding. “As I have said to you all, I’m the guide for the week, which means you can always come to me if something is wrong, if you have questions, or for anything else.”

Miranda goes on a little longer about some house rules and paperwork, meanwhile Robbe takes a look around again at all the new faces. He shortly makes eye contact with a ginger-haired girl who sweetly smiles back at him. When he gets to Sander, he can’t help but look just a bit longer, finding himself to be weirdly interested in the stranger.

As soon as Miranda is done with her speech, Bryan is the first one to introduce himself, since he was the first person to arrive today. He tells the group that he’s 22 years old and a nature lover. He also talks about some countries he has explored on his own and how he’s the leader of a scouting group.

After him, the rest of the group follows. Most people are between 18 and 26 years old, some have a big love for traveling, and a few just like to explore a new country. So far everyone seems very nice, and Robbe is relieved that it looks like he’ll enjoy spending a week with them. It was something he had worried about a lot, that it wouldn’t be his type of people with whom he would be stuck with for 7 days in a strange country. Of course first impressions aren’t always accurate, but it at least feels good so far.

Nerves make their way in Robbe’s body when it’s his turn to talk about himself. It will never really be something he could be warmed up for, having to talk in front of a group.

“I’m Robbe IJzermans, and I’m 18 years old. I live in Antwerp and study biology. This is my first time joining an organisation to travel with a group, so it’s all very new for me,” he chuckles slightly. “But I’m also really excited! Especially since I’ve never been to Sweden. And uhm my hobbies are skateboarding, and I sometimes love to film and edit things too,” he quickly adds.

Miranda nods and smiles at him. “Thank you Robbe. I’m very curious what you will think of Sweden! It is certainly very different from what we are used to here in Belgium.” Then she turns to look at Sander. “And on to our last member of the group.”

“Yes, I’m Sander Driesen and just like Robbe, I’m new to all of this as well.” He nods in Robbe’s direction. “I’m 21 years old, live in Antwerp too, and I work at a small art gallery. So I’m mostly busy with painting and drawing. Besides that I also like photography and enjoy listening to music.”

“Ah you’re very creative!” Miranda chimes. “That’s one of the things that I love about group traveling. We’re with people from all over the country who do all different kinds of things in their everyday life. But here we’ve come together to do one thing we all have in common, and that is our love for exploring and traveling,” she brightly smiles with crinkly eyes.

A few people are grinning and nodding along. One of the guys in the group says, “A very inspiring speech Miranda.” Everyone laughs, including the older woman.

“As you can see, my heart lies here,” she winks. Then Miranda looks around, they all notice that people have started to get in a line to board the airplane. “Now, it’s time to finally go! Sweden is waiting for us.”

Everyone grabs their own stuff and joins the line of other travelers. Luckily everything goes smoothly, and before Robbe knows it, he steps into the airplane. The realisation hits him that it’s actually happening, and he will be leaving everything behind for a whole week. His excitement also increases because he rarely gets to travel by plane, so when it happens it feels quite special to him.

He starts looking for his seat and drops most of his stuff in the cabin compartment and plops down next to the window. So far no one is sitting next to him either so he definitely can’t complain about the place he got.

Just as he gets his headphones out of his bag and is about to pull them over his head, someone takes the seat next to him.

“I hope you don’t mind some company.”

Robbe has heard this voice only a few times, but it already excites him to know from who it is. The stranger that caught his attention only by existing.

Robbe turns his head to look into a pair of green eyes next to him. His breath hitches, noticing how close Sander is next to him. Especially since the airplane seats aren’t particularly big. Robbe silently swallows, his heartbeat speeding up as he takes Sander in.

The boy is just absolutely beautiful with light green eyes, a cute nose, and lips that he will not get out of his head anytime soon. There are different beauty marks on his face and Robbe loves the way his brown eyebrows are in contrast with his white hair.

“Uhm,” Robbe stumbles when he notices that Sander is waiting for an answer. He frantically tries to clear his head and find normal words to say. “Yeah, it’s no problem,” he finally gets out and smiles.

“Good,” Sander replies immediately, looking more relaxed all of a sudden and smiles the prettiest smile back at him.

Robbe’s belly flutters a little, and he quickly gets the feeling that this week might end up different than he expected.

Sander gets comfortable in his seat while another older man takes the last empty space next to him. They both shortly greet him until Sander turns to Robbe again. He eyes the headphones Robbe is still holding in his hand. “What kind of music were you gonna listen to?”

“Oh, uhm, I’m mostly into Stormzy or Bazzi, but I’m pretty sure you could know Stormzy?”

Sander confidently nods his head. “I’ve heard of him. He has a song called ‘Know It’ right? Which they played on the radio quite a lot?”

Robbe stares at the boy with a confused look, trying to repress a laugh. “Know It?” a chuckle escapes his mouth. “I have no idea which one you mean.”

“It’s the one with Ed Sheeran. I’m sure you have heard it,” Sander tries again, looking hopeful at Robbe.

“Ohhh,” Robbe bursts out a laugh. “You mean ‘Own It,’” he smiles brightly.

Sander sheepishly looks down. “Right,” he chuckles.

Robbe couldn’t help but tease him about it. “So much for a music fan,” he says with a grin in his eyes.

Sander looks back up with a slight surprised look on his face, but the confidence grows back right away. “Who says my music taste isn’t just a lot better than yours,” he challenges, raising his eyebrows.

Robbe smiles, happy that Sander picked it up well. “Depends on what you listen to.”

“Guess.”

“Uhh...” He takes the opportunity to shamelessly eye Sander up and down again, feeling his cheeks warm a little. Sander’s grin widens. Robbe has no idea what this gorgeous human would be listening to. He just goes for whatever comes up in his mind first. “Maybe techno music?”

The corner of Sander’s mouth turns upwards as he lets out a snort. “Techno? Is that the first impression that I give?”

“Well it’s hard to guess. I’ve only known you for about half an hour.”

A noise signalling that they have to put their seatbelts on disturbs their conversation, making them look up. A flight attendant passes by and shows all three of them how to fasten it.

Once it’s done, Sander speaks up again. “Well luckily we have the whole week to change that,” he flashes Robbe a cheeky grin.

Robbe stares into those light green eyes while a new kind of exciting fire lights up in his chest. His curiosity about this boy grows more and more, he’s already getting desperate to know about every single detail of Sander, from learning about his favorite musician to how he thinks the universe is created. And thank god they still have a full seven days to do that.

~

The 2,5 hour flight went a lot quicker than Robbe expected. And maybe, just maybe, it was because of the great company that he had. He and Sander talked the entire flight, getting lost in their conversation and fully forgetting the time. Robbe got to know more about Sander’s passion for art and that he had studied at an art academy. He even showed Robbe some of the things he has made, which left Robbe completely in awe. Art was never something Robbe cared about, but when it came out of Sander’s mouth, it for some reason was the most interesting topic to hear about.

Sander also talked a bit about his family and of course his love for music. Apparently he was a massive David Bowie fan, knowing every single detail about the artist and owning a good collection of his vinyls.

Robbe told him about his uni too, his friends and how he got into skateboarding. Sander asked him a lot of questions, which felt nice to actually have someone that listens to him. It was only when they were about to land that Robbe came to realize how well he was already clicking with Sander and how easy their conversation flows. It was very rare for him to get along so well with someone he just met. It usually takes a lot longer for Robbe to open up to people and feel comfortable with them.

Besides their general chats, Robbe also discovered how teasing and flirtatious Sander is. It made Robbe blush like a teenage girl every damn time, which Sander seemed to enjoy a lot. He would raise those playful eyebrows and bring his lips into a devilish smirk that made Robbe’s brain swim. And the best part was when Sander would playfully bump their knees together, leaving a warm sensation all throughout Robbe’s body.

“What are you smiling about?”

Robbe’s stray thoughts about everything that had happened on the airplane get harshly interrupted by Bryan, who is currently the one sitting next to him. When they landed in Sweden and got off the plane, the next step was to get on a bus that would take them further into the country. Bryan had immediately approached Robbe and insisted on sitting next to him. Robbe was flattered, but also couldn’t help but feel sad that he wouldn’t be able to talk with Sander anymore, even though he knew it would be better to meet other people too.

So here he is with Bryan now, trying to get to know him for the past two hours, which isn’t going that well. And he still has four more hours to go.

“Oh it’s nothing. Just uhh a fond memory that popped into my mind,” Robbe says scratching his head, not having realized that his emotions are apparently showing on his face.

“What kind of memories?” Bryan says, eyes curiously focussing on Robbe.

“Nothing special,” Robbe tries again, hoping that he will drop it.

But he apparently still isn’t done yet. “You can tell me! You can tell me everything, you know I’m a good listener.”

Robbe internally snorts since that was everything he didn’t do for the last two hours. It was fun talking to Bryan at first, until he just couldn’t stop telling him about all the adventures that he’s been on. From Iceland to Italy, sleeping in hostels to sleeping under the stars. And Robbe usually likes to hear those adventurous stories, maybe even feels jealous that people actually dare to do that, but when you hear it for over two hours and you barely get to say a word yourself, it just becomes too much.

But instead right now, Robbe just nods. “That’s nice.”

“So was it a loved one you were thinking about?” Bryan says, a grin growing on his face as he nudges him with his arm.

Robbe huffs. “No…”

“So have you ever been in a relationship?” Bryan asks again. Robbe internally sighs, this guy not seeming to shut up at all.

“Uhm, well I-”

“You know I once was together with this girl, and I surprised her on a trip to Athens,” Bryan interrupts, rambling on without seeming to notice that he’s cut Robbe off once again. “You should’ve seen the look on her face when I revealed to her what we were gonna do. Priceless! In Athens we saw so many old temples and went to this Acropolis Museum.”

Robbe just nods, his thoughts already drifting off. He casually starts looking around the bus and spots Sander on the other side of the aisle a few rows behind them. He’s seated next to the ginger-haired girl he made eye contact with earlier at the airport, seeming to have a fun conversation. Robbe’s stomach sinks a little, already missing the fun time that he had with him on the airplane, especially since Bryan isn’t the most interesting person to sit next to.  

He quickly tries to lighten his mood when he turns his head to gaze outside, feeling the excitement bubble up again when he sees so much green around him and great mountains that lie at the end of the horizon. Since Robbe hasn’t traveled a lot in his life, he feels like a little kid who’s going to Disneyland for the first time with all the new scenery around him.

Deciding he has had enough of Bryan, he grabs his bag and pulls out his headphones.

Robbe promptly interrupts Bryan’s chat. “Hey I’m a little tired, so I hope you don’t mind me listening to some music.”

Bryan looks a bit startled at first, but quickly recovers. “Yeah, no of course,” he smiles and taps the top of Robbe’s leg. He keeps it there a little too long for Robbe’s liking, before he removes it and finally shuts his mouth.

Once the first tunes of the song fly into Robbe’s ears, he sinks into his seat and stares out of the window. He sighs, finally letting it sink in in that he’s actually in the spectacular looking country Sweden, far away from home.

~

The remaining four hours of the bus ride are a combination of Robbe drifting off to sleep while listening to his music and talking with Bryan, which surprisingly goes a little better. He actually asks Robbe some questions that he did want to answer. Despite that, Robbe wishes he was next to the blond haired boy again. Having a few short moments of eye contact with him aren’t near enough of what Robbe needs.

After an exhausting but still exciting trip, the bus finally stops at their first destination. As soon as Robbe steps out of the vehicle, he takes a deep breath of the fresh Swedish air. He looks around and notices how he’s in the middle of nature, completely surrounded by large trees. A few stugas, simple wooden houses they’ll be sleeping in, sit in between the trees. There’s a small stream flowing near the houses, which produces a soothing and relaxing sound. Chirpy birds are fluttering around the trees, and some rest on the big logs where they all could sit around a firepit.

“Everyone, take it in. This is the magic of Sweden,” Miranda says, sighing deeply as she looks around with a peaceful look on her face, as if she just got home. Everyone is inspecting the place with their eyes, some people humming softly. “And this is only the beginning. It will get even better,” she adds.

Robbe notices someone walking up to him in the corner of his eyes. He turns his head, and there is Sander again with a pleasant look on his face. “It’s something else than Antwerp huh?” he tells him.

Robbe happily smiles back at Sander, as he takes in their surroundings. “Definitely, but so beautiful! There’s so much green everywhere and the noise...”

“Exactly, you can actually hear all the birds chirping and the sound of the river. It’s honestly a bit unreal to be here,” Sander says a little quieter.

“I know… but it’s exactly what I needed,” Robbe accidentally gets out, but smiles lightly at him.

Sander gives him a small smile back. “Same,” he replies, looking slightly sad now.

Miranda tells the group that it’s time to get their stuff, since it’s starting to get dark, and they need to arrange their beds for the night. Everyone quickly gets to work, grabbing their bags and suitcases out of the bus, and dragging them towards one of the three cabins they can sleep in.

When Robbe has all of his stuff he makes his way to the cabin he saw Sander walk in, feeling like sleeping in one where he at least knows someone a little bit. As he steps into the small cabin, he scans the room; the space is entirely made of wood, two bunk beds are placed opposite each other. In the middle there’s a table with two chairs, and next to the bunk beds there is a small fridge and a closet. Robbe quickly notices that there are already four people in here, so all the beds are already taken.

Sander sees him walking in, his face brightening up. “Hey!”

“I’m assuming this one is already full,” Robbe says while scanning the room again. Two girls and another guy he hasn’t spoken to yet turn around from the suitcases they are unpacking.

Sander briefly looks around the room too until his eyes meet Robbe again, this time filled with pity and his lips curved in a sad smile. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Robbe reassures him. “I’ll keep looking then,” he quickly turns around, slightly sad that he isn’t sleeping in the same stuga as Sander.

He walks over to the next cabin, dragging his suitcase over the rough land until he gets up the stairs and enters the space. This cabin is an exact copy of the previous one, only here there are only three people, including the ginger haired girl Sander had been talking to on the bus.

“Hey!” one of the guys says who is already relaxing on one of the top bunk beds.

“Hey! Do you guys have one bed left?” Robbe asks, just to be sure.

“Yeah, the one under me is still free,” he answers.

“Ah great,” Robbe smiles and walks over to drop his suitcase there.

While Robbe zips it open and starts unpacking, the guy above Robbe fills up the silence that had been washing over the room. “So I’m not gonna lie, but I completely forgot all of your names during the introduction,” he says as he looks over the railing of the bed.

They all start to laugh. “Same here,” the ginger haired girl says, turning around to sit on her bottom bed to look at them all. “But I’m Kylie,” she smiles.

“Finn,” the guy replies.

“I’m Jody,” a girl with long brown hair tied up in a ponytail says.

“Robbe,” he smiles at them.

“Great! I’ll try to remember it this time,” Finn grins.

They all talk a little longer as they get their things ready for the night. As soon as they’re done everyone goes outside again to the fireplace and sits down on the logs surrounding the fire. It doesn’t take long before it’s fully dark. The air gets chillier and the fire is one of the few sources of light and warmth. Robbe is feeling the adventurous spirit even more than before. Sitting like this with strangers, the crackling sound of the fire, everyone’s quiet voices and a few birds that are still awake fluttering above them in the trees. He's been mostly talking to Finn sitting next to him, getting to know him a bit more, while eating the dinner Miranda made for them.

His attention on Finn gets briefly interrupted when he catches Sander staring at him from the opposite of the fire. Sander softly smiles at him, making Robbe feel all fuzzy from the inside. Sander looks so cosy with a warm glow from the fire on his face. Robbe sweetly smiles back at him, making Sander grin wider too.

They look at each other like that for a little too long, until the moment gets broken by Finn, who asks Robbe a question, but he has no idea what Finn has just been telling him.

The rest of the evening passes with a lot of chats, but eventually the tiredness from the long day takes over, and they all decide to head to bed. Miranda reassures them that there is still plenty of time to have longer nights together, and that it’s better to get charged up for a very fun day that is waiting for them.

Tuesday

At 9 in the morning, the group gets woken up by three different alarms in three different cabins. Everyone in Robbe’s cabin groans, just as the brown haired boy himself who still feels tired too, but as soon as he’s dressed and steps outside into the fresh nature with the chirping birds greeting him a good morning, the tiredness is a problem he doesn’t care about anymore.

During breakfast Robbe sits himself next to Sander, who looks like he’d rather still be sleeping. Robbe couldn’t help but think how adorable he looks like this, eyes still a bit small with sleep.

“Good morning,” Robbe warmly smiles at him.

“Morning,” Sander greets back, face lighting up a little bit.

“Slept well?”

“Hmm it took me some time to pass out since I wasn’t used to the bed and this place, but eventually I slept okay,” he reassures Robbe, lips turning upwards. “Just in need of some coffee.”

“I get that,” Robbe nods and laughs lightly. “I still need to get used to all of this too,” he vaguely gestures around him and looks around at the large trees.

“Yeah...” Sander breathes out.

A light bulb pops on in Robbe’s head, having a small idea that Sander will hopefully appreciate. “Wait here,” Robbe suddenly says and gets up, making Sander stare at him questioningly.

Robbe walks over to the people waiting in line for the food and drinks and eventually gets him and Sander two cups of coffee.

He walks back to the log Sander was sitting on and hands him one cup. “Here,” Robbe says with a soft smile, hoping it will make Sander feel a bit better. Their hands brush as Sander takes the cup from him, making Sander look up directly into Robbe’s eyes.

Robbe’s stomach flutters a little, the moment feeling intense, even though it’s already gone in 2 seconds as they quickly retrieve their hands and look away.

“Thank you,” Sander says genuinely and a little surprised while Robbe sits back down next to him. “That’s nice of you.”

“It’s no problem,” Robbe beams.

They’re both quiet for a bit, taking sips of the coffee and warming their hands with the hot drink they’re holding.

“You know,” Sander speaks up again. “I would’ve liked it if you were in the cabin with me. Unfortunately when I got there I was already the last one so...”

Not only Robbe’s hands get warm this time, now he feels his insides warm up too, hearing Sander say this. “Really?” Robbe asks a little shyly.

“Hmm,” Sander hums, taking a sip and looking at Robbe with a waiting look in his eyes.

Robbe contemplates for a second if he should tell him that he actually walked into that cabin because of him, but he decides that maybe that’s a bit too much. “Would’ve liked that too,” he says instead with a small grin. “Hopefully when we’re at another destination then.”

“I hope so too.”

They resume the rest of their breakfast time sitting together and having a few small talks, until it’s time to head to the bus for the first activity of the day. This time the ride is only an hour long, which feels short to Robbe compared to yesterday. And the view is still incredible, capturing his attention throughout the ride as they go op and down hills filled with green scenery, and sometimes drive right next to long rivers in between the mountains.

The bus stops at a big red house next to the road. Everyone gets off the vehicle, and they get greeted by two Swedish men who are the guides of the day.

“Good morning everyone!” one of the middle aged men says and happily looks around the group of ten people standing in front of him. “As you have probably heard from Miranda, you’re gonna be quad bike riding this morning through one of the most beautiful forests in Sweden. Well, at least in my opinion,” he smirks brightly, looking excited for today even though he probably has already done this plenty of times. “I will be your guide during the trip-”

“Yes, and I will help everyone with getting your helmets on and assigning you to a bike,” the other guy fills in. “And Miranda told me that not everyone has their driving license yet, so some of you will be paired up with another person on the bike.”

Everyone nods, listening attentively.

“So,” the guy continues, “let’s start doing that first. Which of you don’t have a driving license?”

Robbe raises his hand and curiously looks around to see how many others don’t have one either. Two other people raise their hands too, but Sander, who is standing next to him, is apparently not one of them.

“Okay, so you guys go make some duos, I think that’s the easiest way to make everyone happy instead of me pairing you up.”

In the corner of Robbe’s eyes he immediately sees Sander turning towards him, making his heart jump up excitedly.

“Do you want to join me on one?” Sander asks him, looking at him hopeful.

Robbe smiles, feeling a bit too happy that out of all the people in the group, he was the one Sander turned to. “I would like that,” Robbe nods. “Unless I should be scared of your driving skills,” he adds teasingly.

Sander huffs. “I’m a really good driver,” he raises his eyebrows confidently, his lips turning into a confident smirk. Then something more soft washes over his face. “And I couldn’t bear it if I hurt you, so I promise you’ll be safe.”

Robbe feels himself melt from the inside again, not knowing how to respond to such an unexpected answer that seemed very genuine. “I’ll trust you then,” he replies softly.

It doesn’t take long before the other duos are matched up as well, so the instructor continues giving them more information and instructions for the day. When he’s done with his speech, he takes the group behind the big red house to a garage to give them all a suitable helmet. After that they all head over to the bikes, where one gets designated for everyone.

“You two,” the instructor says pointing to Robbe and Sander, “can go on the black and green one.”

They both nod and walk over to the big bike.

“Okay let’s do this,” Sander claps excitedly, voice a little muffled by the helmet he’s wearing as he throws his leg over the quad and sits down, hands immediately grabbing the handlebars.

When it looks like Sander is comfortable, Robbe puts one foot on the bike, throws his other leg over it and sits down behind him. He knew that there wouldn’t be much space on the bike for two people, but it still feels like a lot to sit so close to Sander.

“Great! It looks like everyone is seated,” the instructor says joyfully. “Now for the people who are in duos, please don’t be scared to hold on to each other, because these things can go pretty fast, and I don’t want any accidents to happen.”

Robbe feels a blush creep over on his face at the thought of getting to hold Sander like this. He really is not prepared for the trip ahead of him.

“Now let’s try to see if you can get it to start and move forward a little.”

Sander turns on the quad bike with the key, making a rumbling noise escape the vehicle, and the bike starts to shake a little. Robbe quickly puts his hands on Sander’s shoulders in case he was going to move already.

“Not like this,” Robbe all of a sudden hears from his right and sees the instructor standing next to them. “Here,” he taps his hand on Sander’s middle. “Put your arms around his waist, it’s much safer.”

“Okay,” Robbe sheepishly smiles and he’s for once glad that he’s wearing a helmet that covers up the redness spreading over his cheeks. He moves his hands from Sander’s shoulders and puts his arms around his torso, scooting a little closer to him. “Is this okay?” he asks Sander just to be sure.

Sander turns his head, and even though he can barely see his face, his eyes look very happy. “Of course! We can’t have you falling off.”

Robbe gives him a shy grin.

“So, you’re ready?” Sander asks.

Robbe nods, so Sander turns back around, moves his hands to the handlebar again and sets his feet in the right place. All of a sudden, they shoot forward.

“Jesus,” Robbe shrieks, arms tightening around Sander’s middle.

“Oh wow!” Sander lets out a surprised yell at the same time. “This really has a lot more power than I thought,” he chuckles.

The two of them wait a little longer to actually get moving until everyone has their bike under control. Once that’s done, one of the instructors finally gets on his own bike and drives until he’s in front of the group. “Okay everyone, it’s time to go! Follow me, be careful, and most of all, enjoy! The views are gonna be spectacular.”

The group starts moving to the main road, taking it at a slow tempo so everyone can get used to the bike, with Robbe and Sander being one of the last of the group. When they take a turn to an unpaved road, the scenery quickly changes as the guide leads them into the forest. The trees are getting higher, the road a lot bumpier and everyone starts speeding up now that they are getting the hang of the bikes.

An exciting thrill is bursting through Robbe’s body. With his arms holding Sander tight, he happily looks around over Sander’s shoulder into the bright rays of sunlight that are peeking through the tall trees. There is so much green everywhere around him.

“You good?” Sander says loudly over the noise of the rattling bike, shortly looking behind him at Robbe.

“Yes, definitely! It’s beautiful here!” Robbe replies back loudly.

Sander nods enthusiastically as he quickly looks at Robbe again, eyes seeming very content as well.

The road they’re on starts climbing up, getting steeper the longer they’re driving, going higher and higher on the hill. The trees are becoming smaller and there’s less green, so sometimes Robbe can see small pieces of the high view. After a while Robbe notices the group stopping further in front of them at what looks like a place with a completely open view.

As they get closer to the rest, Robbe sees he is indeed right. They’re leaving the trees on their right behind, coming up on a spot with a high, bright view of the Swedish countryside. It’s absolutely breath-taking and something Robbe wasn’t prepared for at all.

Sander stops the quad when they’ve arrived at the group, and they both take their helmets off.

“Holy shit.”

“Wow...”

Both boys stare at the view in awe. There are green hills to the horizon, lakes laying in between them in a variation of sizes, roads that go through nature, and a clear blue sky above them.

Sander turns around to Robbe and has the most astonished look on his face. “I knew Sweden was beautiful, but damn,” he smiles brightly.

Robbe giggles and nods vigorously. “I know,” he smiles back.

Sander’s eyes move up, and then he all of a sudden brings a hand to Robbe’s hair. “Your hair is a mess,” he says grinning.

Robbe’s heart feels like it’s about to explode as Sander strokes his hair back to the right side, still feeling high on the adrenaline as well. Sander’s hands are divine in his hair, and he wishes he was able to stop time right now.

Sander pushes away one last lock out of Robbe’s face, takes his hand back, and grins softly at him. “There. Much better.”

Robbe is flustered from head to toe and has to use all his strength to react normally again. “Yours is a mess too,” he says instead as he looks at the chaos that his white bleached hair is, but before he could bring a hand too, Sander beats him to it.

“Oh shit,” he quickly rambles through it and laughs a little nervously. “Better?”

It still looks like a mess so Robbe can’t help but take the opportunity and wipe away a few strands as well. “Almost,” Robbe giggles with a blush and runs his hand through it one last time, maybe enjoying feeling his soft white hair gliding through his hand a bit too much. Especially when it looks like Sander is leaning into his touch just a little bit. “Now you’re good,” Robbe says softly.

“Thank you,” Sander’s face is fond, and his green eyes look brighter than before.

“Boys,” Miranda all of a sudden says, neither of them having noticed her walking up to them. “The view is beautiful isn’t it?” she grins.

“Y-yeah,” Sander gets out, quickly turning away from Robbe. “Beautiful.”

“It’s something else,” Robbe says, a little startled but smiles kindly.

Miranda chuckles low. “So we’re taking a little break with some drinks and snacks. You two coming for them? You can leave the helmets on the bike.”

“Okay,” they reply at the same time and start climbing off the quad bike. They both glance at each other, lips curling upwards, before joining the others.

They all eat and drink while having a chat, some people taking their time to take some good pictures of the view. Robbe can’t deny that it’s hard to concentrate on the wonderful place he’s at, when all that is going through his mind is Sander, Sander, Sander, replaying what just happened in his head, wondering if maybe Sander is actually interested in him in that way too.

He does manage to talk with other people, just like Bryan, who walks up to him, holding a piece of bread in his hand.

“Hey Robbe!” he says happily. “This place is just gorgeous right?”

“It really is! Sweden is just absolutely stunning,” Robbe replies, looking around at the large landscape in the distance.

“Oh I’ve seen many views, but every single one is so special in their own way.”

Robbe nods in understanding, “I can imagine.”

Bryan takes a bite of his bread, and while he’s chewing he says, “I once was in Africa, and we were looking out over all the wild life on top of this hill, minding their own business in nature. It’s a view I’ll never forget. One that you just can’t describe what it felt like if you weren’t there.”

Robbe hums thoughtfully, trying to imagine in his head what Bryan had seen. “That sounds incredible! Those are the best kind of experiences indeed.”

Bryan takes another bite and speaks up again with his mouth full of bread, making Robbe cringe from the inside, but tries to listen attentively nevertheless. “Exactly. We also made this road trip there in jeeps, and believe it or not we, actually had a cheetah climbing up our car. It was insane.”

“Oh, really?”

Bryan keeps on rambling about the adventures he had in Africa, from the cheetahs on their car to swimming with sharks. It’s entertaining at first, but at one point Robbe has heard enough of all his stories. As soon as the break is over, he’s a bit too excited about quitting his conversation with Bryan and heading back to their quads with Sander again.

“So now that you’ve gotten a taste of it, how would you rate my driving skills?” Sander turns to Robbe when they’re both seated on the quad again, helmets in their hands, waiting for everyone to be ready.

Robbe laughs, “Hmm, I think I’ll leave two stars behind.”

“Two stars??” he says, eyebrows raising, bringing his hand to his chest, acting like he’s offended. “Why not five?”

“Well you’re not going very fast, but since I haven’t fallen off you get those two for safety,” Robbe winks.

“I mean we were going up a hill, so I got a good argument for that,” Sander defends. “But I guess I need to keep my clients happy,” a grin forms on his lips.

“I think so too,” Robbe teases back. “Otherwise I’m not quite sure if I would come back to you.”

“Well in that case, I’ll show you something better when we go downhill soon.”

Robbe is about to reply when they hear the instructor say that it’s time to go.

“You better hold on tight Robbe,” Sander says, lips turned into that smirk again, making Robbe’s heart jump.

“Guess I will,” Robbe replies cheekily.

They both put their helmets on, and when Sander starts the bike, Robbe scoots closer to him again. He feels confident so he presses himself even closer to Sander than before and wraps his arms tightly around his slim torso, getting comfortable.

Sander all of a sudden places a hand on Robbe’s, squeezes gently, before he puts it back on the handlebar. Sander quickly looks at Robbe and smiles, so he softly smiles back. Robbe feels his stomach go absolutely crazy.

They start driving and Robbe is for sure that this is the most alive he’s ever felt. The route downhill is indeed a lot faster, but with him holding Sander tight, he knows that he is safe. The trees are quickly changing again and passing by in no time and even though the wind is stronger, making Robbe a bit cold, he doesn’t mind it one bit. All that he knows is that he hasn’t felt this happy and carefree in a long time.

~

Everyone safely returns to the red house when they’ve finished the fascinating route. They hand in their gear and say goodbye to the two instructors, thanking them for such a special time. Shortly after, the group heads to the bus and drives back to the camp.

They all get to relax for a bit, some people get freshened up in their cabin and some, like Robbe, take place in one of the warm stripes of sun that shine through the trees, enjoying the beautiful spring weather for a bit.

After their small break it’s time for the next activity of the day. Everyone gets their walking shoes on, because they’re going to explore the nature of Sweden by foot. As they leave the camp, Robbe falls into a chill conversation with one his cabin roommates, Jody. He discovers that she’s a very sporty girl, especially compared to Robbe, and that she sails a lot in her free time. Her dream is to go sailing around a big part of the world one day, but she’s still planning it all out.

Miranda abruptly stops everyone’s conversations to tell the group to be really quiet. “Look,” she whispers, while pointing to her right off the path into the forest. “It’s what they call the King of the Forest here,” she turns around to the group, eyes lighting up.

Further away from them, a moose is lazily walking around, not seeming to care that there are humans walking by.

“Wow,” Jody says, turning to Robbe, “It’s so much bigger in real life.”

“Right? Though it’s not even that close to us yet,” he replies.

“The moose is an iconic symbol for the people here in Sweden,” Miranda explains. “They can weigh up to 800 kg and eat 15 to 30 kg a day, so they’re definitely one of the bigger animals here.”

One of the others in the group speaks up, “I’m already full thinking about having to eat all of that for one day.”

Everyone laughs, some shaking their head amused at them.

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Miranda smiles and winks.

The rest of the hike is filled with paths that wind in twists and go up and down. They all dodge branches and enjoy the tall trees and green wilderness around them. Miranda sometimes stops them again to tell the group more facts about Sweden and how certain types of landscapes got formed millions of years ago.

When the camp is in sight again, Robbe can’t help but be relieved, his legs and feet already starting to hurt from the long walk. He’s really not used to moving so much. Jody, on the contrary, still looks as fresh as if she’s just gotten back from a spa treatment.

Robbe already feels the exhaustion take over as soon as he parks his body on a chair, which he unfortunately only relaxes on for a bit before he gets called to help make dinner.

~

“How was your day?” Sander asks as he plops down next to Robbe on the log.

The sun has traded places with the moon and now everyone is sitting by the fire again in the dark. Miranda had brought a card game with her after dinner, which they had been playing with everyone for the last few hours until they were done with it. Sander had made his way from the other side of the log and is now sitting next to Robbe.

“Hey,” Robbe smiles brightly, feeling happy that he gets to talk with Sander again. They didn’t speak that much after the quad bike ride today, so he had maybe craved having Sander’s attention a bit too much. “It was really good! Although I’m exhausted from all the activities that we did.”

Sander lightly chuckles, “You’re not a very sporty person, are you?”

“Oof, no. As you can see,” Robbe says, holding up his arm and gives his own skinny bicep a squeeze, “Sports isn’t really my thing.”

Sander grins, “That’s why you were panting so much when we finally got on top of that large hill earlier today,” he bumps his shoulder into Robbe’s.

Robbe laughs, “You will probably not believe it, but I actually did train a little before this trip.”

“I indeed do not believe that with the way you were almost passing out”

Robbe playfully hits Sander on his arm. “Ey, I wasn’t that bad,” he laughs. “It’s not like you are the most muscular guy to walk on this earth.”

“Well you haven’t seen me under my clothes,” Sander replies confidently while raising his brown eyebrows.

Robbe feels his cheeks heating up at the thought of Sander’s body, and he badly hopes Sander can’t see it in the dark with only the fire as their source of light. “That is true,” he grins. “Guess I can’t judge you yet then.” Robbe internally smacks his head when he realizes his dumb mouth had to add the ‘yet’.

But Sander takes the comment very well, that devilish smirk of his only growing wider. “Yeah you’ll see.”

The rest of the evening quickly turns into the night. Bit by bit people are heading back to their cabin to go to sleep while Robbe and Sander are still deeply absorbed into a conversation. It’s only when the last two people tell them they’re going to sleep that they realize they’ve been completely absorbed in their private conversation and they’re the only ones left now.

As soon as the two other people are out of sight, Sander turns to Robbe “So, uhm, do you maybe want to go for a little walk? My ass is starting to hurt from sitting down for such a long time, and I also don’t want to call it a night just yet,” he softly grins.

Robbe’s heartbeat speeds up in no time, getting very nervous that they’re so alone now in the quiet night. Still, he couldn’t feel more excited about the plan, happy that Sander wants to spend more time with him. Even if his body is telling him to go to sleep, he needs to know where the night goes and what Sander’s intentions might be.

“Yeah, good idea! I’m starting to get pretty cold from sitting down for so long too,” Robbe tells him and chuckles lightly. “Let’s not go too far though, cause it’s so incredibly dark here.”

“We won’t. Just a little walk,” Sander smiles.

They get up from the log they’ve been sitting on for the past few hours, stretching their legs a little and start moving. The fire isn’t that big anymore either, so at least the change of warmth isn’t very different.

They’re both quiet for a little while, walking side by side and listening to the sound of the wind flying through the trees and an owl making his presence heard.

“You know...” Robbe decides to speak up, “It honestly feels like we’ve already been here for so much longer than just one day.”

Sander nods quickly, “Exactly, it’s weird that we only got here yesterday.”

“Yeah, though I do still have to get used to how different it is from home. Like not sitting on my phone or laptop all day, no stress about school and stuff. Now we’re just outside all the time, moving around a lot and just being here in the present.” He pauses for a second, looking at Sander to see if he’s boring him, but Sander’s still staring right back at him, waiting for him to continue, so Robbe does. “It’s just so different compared to my daily life,” he adds and lightly chuckles. Robbe wonders why he decides to let this all out all of a sudden, but it somehow feels right to be open with Sander.

“Big same,” Sander agrees with a kind little smile. “I fully understand what you mean. I’ve always really appreciated nature, but when you’re in the middle of the busy work life and living in a big city, I sometimes forget how good it is to take a step back and enjoy how much more the world has to offer than just eating, working and sleeping.”

“Exactly,” Robbe nods, feeling relief wash over him that Sander is opening up too, not being weirded out by Robbe’s confessions. “It’s sad how immersed we all are in work, while forgetting the things that really matter.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m even more glad we are out here now.”

“Me too,” Robbe says, warmly looking at Sander as dimples form on his own cheeks.

Sander’s lips curve upwards too as he stares back, eyes crinkling at the corners.

They both look at each other for a few more seconds, until they quickly turn away, quietly resuming their walk.

“… This has gotten deep very quickly,” Robbe laughs, making Sander join, feeling his heart lighting up.

Then Sander lets out a big sigh. “I guess being out here makes you reflect on life a lot more.” His face falls all of a sudden, and he seems kind of sad now.

Robbe gets a weird feeling that maybe there is a lot more going on with Sander than he knows, and he already wishes he could take away any pain or help with whatever there is going on in his life. He really wants to ask if there is something bad at home or what his reason is for coming here, but it for some reason doesn’t feel right just yet.

“I have that too,” Robbe replies, not being able to hide how this trip has got him feeling lots of things about his life back at home too.

Sander looks at him again with a questioning and pitiful look on his face. He opens his mouth to say something, but then quickly closes it. Instead he walks closer to Robbe, making their arms brush, until he reaches out for Robbe’s hand and loosely intertwines his fingers with a few of Robbe’s.

Butterflies wildly flutter around in Robbe’s belly as he looks down. His heart is beating out of his chest, not having expected Sander to do something like that at all. A spark of hope that maybe Sander likes him back grows in the pit of his stomach. He looks back up into Sander’s eyes, seeing him stare back at him with an uncertainty look and maybe even a bit of longing. Robbe shyly smiles at him, grabbing a few more of Sander’s fingers. Sander’s face turns soft, light green eyes twinkling happily.

They keep walking at a slow pace, hands loosely holding onto each other as quietness falls over the two boys again. In the calm air between them there’s a silent agreement that the both of them are not ready to open up about why they’re really here just yet.

“I’m happy you’re here though,” Sander eventually softly whispers.

Robbe sweetly smiles. “Me too.”

The rest of their walk they talk about the bright stars in the sky and everything and nothing, a comfortable silence sometimes falling in between them. Eventually Robbe gets a bit too cold and they both can’t stop yawning, so they can’t help it but call it a night. When they’re in front of their cabins they let go of their hands, much to Robbe’s regret. They linger, waiting to see if something else will happen, until they both decide to quickly wish each other a good night and head back into their own cabin.

Wednesday

Robbe’s pleasant dreams about a certain white-haired boy get disturbed by the alarm going off early again. He quickly gets ready and makes his way to breakfast, grabbing two cups of coffee and settling himself next to Sander, handing him one of the cups. Sander takes it gratefully, eyes still filled with sleep and his face turning adorably soft.

The day is going to be filled with activities again, so once everyone is done, they quickly head out on a hike deeper into the forest, ready to explore a different part of the place they’re at. The birds are chirping loudly early in the morning, and even though the sun isn’t shining this time, Robbe is still in awe of Sweden’s beauty. He shortly talks with Finn, one of his roommates, but mostly walks along with Sander again, chatting each other’s ears off.

The hike is a bit shorter than the day before, because when they get back, the group has to jump into the bus to drive to a new destination for a different activity.

As Robbe steps out of the bus the moment they’ve reached their destination, he can already hear the sound of streaming water nearby, the first sign of the activity that they are going to be doing.

“Welcome everyone!” a young man, in his thirties, greets them while the group has gathered in front of him. “Today we’re gonna be canoeing through the nature of Sweden. I’m very excited for you all to see what this country looks like from the water. First of all, you will be split in groups of two people with whom you’ll share a boat with. I’m actually gonna make them right away.”

The man quickly counts the number of people in the group and then walks forward. “You two will be in one,” he says as he points at Jody and Finn. “You and you,” he points at two other people. “You young man and this lady,” he says as he looks at Sander and Kylie. Robbe turns a little sad that he won’t be with Sander this time, but he quickly shakes it off, knowing that it’s not good to be around him twenty-four seven either, especially since they’re with lots of others here too.

“And you two together,” the man finishes as he points at Robbe and Bryan.

“Yay!” Bryan claps as he excitedly shakes Robbe’s shoulder a little.

Robbe gives him a friendly smile, but from the inside desperately hopes that Bryan won’t be too annoying with all the stories he constantly tells.

Now that the groups are made, they all head out to the water. The guide designates a canoe for every pair. They put on a life jacket and get instructions on how to paddle the right way and what they have to do if the water might get strong.

“Here,” Bryan says as they’re about to get into their canoe. “Grab my hand.” He stands close to the edge of the water, body leaning over the canoe.

Robbe takes it without thinking too much of it and steps into the little boat, making it rock, so he quickly sits down.

“There you go,” Bryan brightly smiles at him. “Let’s hope I can do this as smoothly as you.” He stretches his hand, signing for Robbe to take it.

Robbe scoots closer to the edge of the boat, grabbing Bryan’s hand. “It’s not so hard. You got this!”

As Bryan is about to get in, Robbe notices in the corner of his eyes Sander staring at them. He turns to look at him and sees that Sander has a serious look on his face. Robbe is distracted, wondering about Sander’s expression until he feels a heavy pull on his hand and Bryan all of a sudden jumps into the boat, his body clumsily falling down, since Robbe was barely holding onto him.

“Oh jesus,” Bryan says bewildered but quickly covers it up by laughing loudly. “You could’ve caught me at least.”

Sander’s serious attitude turns into a grin in no time, making Robbe blush flustered at him, until he has to turn his attention back to Bryan. “Sorry...”

“It’s okay!” he reassures and climbs to the front of the boat to take his place on the bench there.

Robbe glances at Sander and wants to smile at him, but sees that he’s already busy with Kylie, both trying to get into their canoe. He turns around and gets comfortable in his seat too, grabbing the paddle in his hand. They wait for everyone to be ready and start paddling as soon as the instructor tells them to go. It takes a bit to get used to the boat and find a rhythm between him and Bryan, but in no time they move forward pretty fast, making their way through the river.

“We’re a good team, Robbe!” Bryan happily smiles as he turns around to look at Robbe, blue eyes crinkling brightly.

There are two boats in front of them, so it’s a little funny to Robbe how excited Bryan is about it, since it’s not like they’re that fast. “Well, it’s probably mostly because of you, with all the experience you have,” Robbe playfully says.

“I wouldn’t have made it this far without you though,” Bryan replies and winks at Robbe, while staring at him for a little too long.

Robbe gives him a half smile back before Bryan turns around in his seat again, getting a little confused about the way Bryan has been acting towards him.

He decides to just shake it off and enjoy the landscape around him, which looks like it’s straight out of a painting. On both sides of the river they’re sailing on there is so much greenery filled with long trees, grass, and a few rocks.

“The view is absolutely gorgeous,” Robbe can’t help but comment.

“Right?” Bryan says, “How can people prefer packed cities, where the only thing you can see is buildings, over this?”

“I mean, I can see the beauty in that too. Seeing so many different kinds of people walking around, living their own life, and the city lights twinkling at night.”

“Hmm, I’m just really more of a nature person. It’s just not appealing to me at all.”

“I already had that feeling,” Robbe replies teasingly, making Bryan turn around again as he laughs.

Behind Bryan, Robbe could see the boat now that Sander is on, not far away from them. He’s splattering water at Kylie, laughing loudly as a big splash washes over her and she immediately brings her own paddle in the water to do it back, giggling brightly.

An annoying sting rises up in Robbe’s heart, making him quickly get irritated at how easily his mood changes when Sander is with someone else. He’s allowed to have fun with others too, so Robbe forces himself to return his attention to Bryan again, before he gets carried away while looking at Sander and Kylie for longer.

“So, what do you like the most about nature then?” Robbe asks Bryan, knowing that this answer should keep him occupied for quite a while.

Bryan indeed starts a long ramble about many more things he has seen as they paddle smoothly through the river. Eventually the river flows into a huge lake, making Bryan actually go quiet as they’re blown away by yet another perfect view. It’s so peacefully quiet. They can barely hear the soft voices from the other boats, now sailing a lot further away from them. Animals flutter around in the sky. There is so much still water around them, with the beautiful nature of Sweden in the distance everywhere they look.

“Wow,” Bryan whispers quietly.

Robbe softly hums.

“Can you maybe take over for a little bit? I really want to take some pictures,” Bryan asks.

“Yeah, of course.”

Bryan grabs his camera out of his backpack and begins taking pictures of every part of their view in every angle possible. Once he’s done, he starts moving from his seat, trying to climb to Robbe, making the entire boat rock.

“What are you doing??” Robbe squeals, grabbing the sides of the boat tightly.

“I want to take a picture with you,” Bryan grins and settles himself in front of Robbe on the floor of the boat.

“Oh, okay.”

One of Bryan’s hands grabs the top of Robbe’s leg tightly, trying to keep himself in balance as he lifts the camera up in front of them. It takes a while for him to get the right angle, clumsily holding the camera in one hand.

He gets even closer to Robbe, hand moving up his leg to his thigh when he finally gets the camera the right way. “Smileee,” Bryan beams.

Robbe tries his best to do a bright smile, without showing his discomfort at Bryan being a bit too close to him.

As soon as he has shot enough, Bryan brings the camera back down and clicks through it, staring at the pictures until he blissfully looks up at Robbe. “We look so good!”

Robbe tries to smile warmly at him. “Right?”

Bryan’s bliss all of a sudden fades as he keeps staring into Robbe’s eyes, not saying anything anymore. Robbe quietly looks back, confused about why Bryan has turned so silent, not knowing what to do at all. Bryan keeps staring until his eyes dart down to Robbe’s lips, and he starts moving his head closer to Robbe, watching him attentively with every movement. He grabs Robbe’s thigh tighter.

Oh no, Robbe panics.

“We uhm-,” Robbe quickly interrupts, “should get going.”

“Yeah, no, you’re right,” Bryan says as he awkwardly moves away and tries to get back to his seat at the front.

Robbe lets out a quiet shaky sigh, trying to comprehend what on earth just happened. Did Bryan actually try to kiss him? Why? They barely had a good conversation. Or did he maybe misinterpret it?

They start paddling again, an uncomfortable silence taking over with neither boy speaking up. It luckily doesn’t take long before the group stops at a little island in the lake. They go on land for a bit to eat and drink. Bryan gets out of the boat first and nevertheless holds his hand out to Robbe again to help him get out, smiling awkwardly. Robbe can’t find it in himself to not deny him, so he grabs his hand and quickly gets out.

His gaze goes around, immediately looking for Sander, feeling like finally having some good company and maybe missing him a bit too much. It doesn’t take long before he locks eyes with the bleached haired boy. Just as he begins to smile at him and start walking, Kylie, who is standing next to Sander hooks her arm around him and guides them towards the table with food. Sander stares back at Robbe with a little sad smile until his attention is pulled back to her.

Robbe lets out a sigh again and decides to walk after Bryan, plopping down next to a few others.

The rest of their break is not very eventful. Robbe enjoys his food and talks with some people, but the way Kylie is suddenly all over Sander is kind of getting on his nerves. He really does try to ignore it, but it’s hard when Kylie giggles a bit too loudly and swings her ginger hair dramatically over her shoulder while staring contentedly at him. An unsettling feeling creeps over Robbe, seeing the two of them get closer.

He didn’t expect to actually be a bit relieved when he gets into the canoe with Bryan again as soon as the break is over. At least he doesn’t have to witness Kylie and Sander anymore. Bryan still seems taken back after their weird moment from earlier on, but Robbe secretly kind of likes it now that Bryan isn’t rambling on and on about things.

During the last part of their trip on the water, Robbe takes it all back. Bryan is barely speaking anymore, even when Robbe asks him random questions to pass the time. Bryan only gets quieter and in the end Robbe doesn’t know what to talk about either.

When they’re on the land again where they started, everything goes by in a haze for Robbe. They bring back their gear to the instructor and hop back into the bus to go to their camp. Once they’ve arrived, they have to pack all of their stuff in the cabin and say goodbye to the place, before heading back to the bus to drive to their second sleeping accommodation.

~

“Robbe,” a voice sounds from far away.

“Robbe!” he hears again, a lot louder this time, bursting through the music that is blasting in his ears. His brain becomes awake at that, and he opens his eyes, seeing Miranda standing next to his chair. He quickly takes his headphones off. “Good evening, sleepy head,” she smiles.

“Sorry,” Robbe sheepishly replies, “Didn’t hear you with my headphones on.”

“I already had that feeling since you missed the entire speech that I just did as well,” Miranda grins.

Robbe looks around now and sees that there’s no one on the bus anymore. Outside it’s dark, but he can see the lights of a few cabins and a cosy seating area with cute lamps hanging around it.

“How long have we been here already?” Robbe says confused. When he got into the bus earlier he tried to get a seat next to Sander, hoping to finally be able to talk with him again, but he was already sitting next to Kylie, once again, so Robbe had made his way to the back of the bus, settling down on one of the last seats. He didn’t feel like more awkwardness with Bryan and didn’t mind having some time alone after a lot of socializing already. Apparently he had drifted off quickly.

“Oh don’t worry, we’ve only been here for a few minutes. I talked a little about the place and the cabins we’re staying in, and everyone just now went outside. Then I noticed you still laying here in the backseat.” Her face falls a little, looking at him with pitiful eyes. “Are you okay though?”

 “Yeah no I’m fine. Just a little tired,” he reassures her.

Softness takes over on Miranda’s face. “Well, you can always come to me if there is anything. No matter what it is.”

“I know,” Robbe nods. “Thank you,” he looks at her gratefully.

“Now, let’s go get your stuff.”

Robbe gets up and walks after Miranda out of the bus. As he steps outside, the first thing he hears, apart from everyone’s chatting, is the sound of calm water sloshing against the shore. He looks around and notices how nice their new location is. There are three black, modern cabins close to the water, and their shared place to eat at is a lot more cosy and homey. It has different wooden benches and rocks with sheepskin laying on top of them surrounding the campfire. A large canvas hangs above it like a sort of roof, and cute lights are dangling around, making their shared space look very warm all together.

He quickly returns his attention to grabbing his stuff from the bus before the driver closes it. Once he has everything, it feels like the first destination all over again, him being the last one to get his things and now having to see which cabin still has a spot for him. Robbe walks over to the closest cabin, entering the open door.

“Hey,” Robbe greets before he looks around. This cabin has a lot more space compared to the last one. It’s once again fully made of wood, and there are two bunk beds placed opposite of each other, but this time there is a small seating area as well, with two couches, a rug and a fireplace.

Jody and Finn immediately look up from where they’re unpacking their bag, just as two other people who are also busy with their suitcases.

“It’s full, I guess?” Robbe quickly follows up.

“Yeah, sorry!” Finn says, face a little pained. “Unfortunately no roomies this time.”

“It’s gonna be boring without you then,” Robbe replies with a small grin.

“Yupp, no fun for you anymore indeed,” Finn laughs and then raises his hand, pointing to the right. “I think Sander and Bryan still got some space in the cabin next to this one.”

“Oh…” Robbe quietly says, his heart dropping at the thought of having to share it with just those two together. “Thanks,” he quickly covers up with a kind smile.

He leaves the room, makes his way to the next cabin, and takes a deep breath before he enters, knowing that there is no other option than having to share it with them. When he eventually steps in, the sight is even worse than he could’ve imagined.

“Hey!” Kylie greets him from the top left bed, noticing him coming in right away.

Robbe’s stomach turns, every curse word he could possibly think of going off in his head. Why does she need to be here as well, out of all the damn people? Sleeping with these three people for the next few nights is not what he had in mind at all. If Kylie and Sander are gonna keep on being all clingy, he’d rather sleep outside.

“Hi,” Robbe awkwardly says as Sander and Bryan turn around as well.

It’s hard to read the expressions on their faces, but at least Kylie seems happy that he’s there. “There’s one left for you!” she tells him. “You can sleep on the bottom one under Bryan.”

“Ah, thanks.” He quickly walks over to the bed on the right. He sees Bryan looking at him quickly and then immediately turning away. Sander, on the other hand, gives him a small smile, making Robbe get all warm from the inside in no time.

He drops his suitcase on his bed and quietly starts unpacking as well.

“Did you fall asleep on the bus?” Robbe hears Sander say from the opposite bed behind him. He turns around and decides to sit on his bed to look at Sander while resuming unpacking.

“Yeah, I had no idea that we had arrived and that Miranda was doing a whole introduction,” Robbe sheepishly grins.

A soft huff escapes Sander’s nose, “You had your headphones on as well?”

“Maybe…” Robbe confesses, his heart feeling lighter again as he looks into Sander’s teasing green eyes. “I guess Stormzy was a bit more interesting than her,” he jokes.

Sander quietly laughs, “When Bowie is on, everyone around me is on mute as well.”

Kylie ducks her head down over the railing of her bed. “Even me?”

Robbe lets out an inner sigh, but he can’t help secretly laughing when Sander seems slightly irritated as well.

“Yep,” he answers very shortly as he looks up, raising his eyebrows nonchalantly.

To Robbe’s surprise Kylie starts laughing and grabs her pillow to smack it on Sander’s head. “You’re so mean,” she giggles.

Sander tries to grab the pillow from her, but she pulls it back right before Sander can take it from her.

“Says the one who throws a pillow in my face,” he replies, trying to sound playful, but still looking a little annoyed to Robbe.

Kylie scoffs, but laughs nevertheless. “You deserved it.”

“I don’t think I did.”

The two keep bantering for a little longer while Robbe quietly resumes taking the important things out of his suitcase, trying not to pay too much attention to them. Soon everyone is done, so they all head outside to re-join the others.

They all have dinner together, enjoying a good meal in their cute seating area, while talking with each other about everything and nothing. Once they’ve finished eating and the cleaning up is done, Miranda suggests they all go into the outside jacuzzi that they have there all for themselves. Everyone enthusiastically agrees, so the first group gets ready to go.

Robbe decides to tag along with Jody and Finn in the second group, not feeling like being with Kylie and Sander any longer. When it’s his turn, he changes into his swimming trunks in the cabin and walks to the jacuzzi that’s placed a bit behind the stuga’s in between some thin trees and grass. Robbe tightly swallows as Sander and the rest of the group walk by, seeing Sander in barely any clothes and still looking wet, droplets of water dripping down his flat white hair onto his slim body.

He notices Sander staring back as well, a smirk growing on his face as they pass by each other. Robbe almost wants to turn around when Sander is out of eye sight, but he shakes it off, clearing his head and carries on with his walk, before his mind goes a little too wild.

The warm bubbly water feels nice as Robbe sinks his body into it, especially in contrast to the already pretty cold air outside. He has a nice chat with Finn, Jody, and a few others about tv shows, funny high school stories, and many more things.

He feels relaxed when he eventually decides to get out, since his skin is starting to get wrinkly, and it gets a bit too warm. Grabbing the towel that he brought with him, he makes his way back to the cabin.

“Hey.”

Robbe slightly jumps when he only now sees Bryan in their room, not having noticed him in the room when he walked in, deep in thought. There is only one lamp on in the cabin, giving the room a warmly yellow look.

“Oh, hey! Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“Understandable,” Bryan lightly chuckles as he gets down from his top bunk bed where he was laying and unsurely walks a little closer to Robbe, leaning onto the bunk bed with his shoulder. “How was the jacuzzi?”

“Good,” Robbe nods. “A bit too warm eventually, but very relaxing as well. Haven’t been in one in quite some time,” he says, a friendly smile playing on his lips. “How was it for you?”

“Very nice! Apart from Sander and Kylie being so clingy the whole time,” he sighs, but then grins. “If they aren’t a couple by the end of the week than I’ll eat my shoe.”

A painful stab makes its way in Robbe’s heart, feeling sadness wash over him in no time. “Yeah..” he mumbles. “Maybe,” he quickly adds a little more confidently, trying to cover up how badly he doesn’t want to hear any of those words. He really thought he and Sander had something going on a few nights ago, but apparently Sander is just like that with other people too.

Bryan shifts on his feet when it’s silent between them for a bit, gaze dropping down to the floor. “So, uhm… I kind of want to talk to you about something.”

Robbe gets even more uneasy, unsure of what Bryan is about to ask him. “What is it?”

Bryan swiftly runs a hand through his brown hair and takes a few small steps towards Robbe, making the space between them smaller. “Uhm... it’s just that I’m sorry for acting all weird today,” he says, blue eyes looking into Robbe’s.

“It’s okay!” Robbe quickly reassures. Hoping that this is the only thing he wants to say. “We all have our moments.”

But apparently he isn’t done yet. “Well, it’s not just that. Uhm, I’ve been acting so weird, because… you know ever since that first day…” he trails off and looks down, hand slowly moving to Robbe to grab it.

Robbe stands there dumbfoundedly, not knowing what to do at all, hand falling into Bryan’s.

Bryan looks back up, a nervous expression still showing on his face, but now mixed with confidence too. “I like you, Robbe. Like really, really like you. I don’t even know if you’re gay or bi or whatever as well, but I just can’t hold myself back anymore.” He squeezes Robbe’s hand. “I think you’re such a wonderful person, and I can talk to you about anything which is- ”

The door all of a sudden flings open, making the two boys abruptly turn to it. Sander is about to walk into the room until he sees what’s going on. Robbe hurriedly pulls his hand away from Bryan, not wanting to give Sander any ideas, but it seems like it’s already too late. Sander’s expression turns serious in no time, eyebrows knitted together and jaw clenched.

He keeps standing still, not knowing what to do. They all stay quiet for some seconds. Eventually Sander fiercely walks forward. “I forgot my sweater,” he murmurs, walking past Robbe and Bryan, taking whatever he finds first and then storms out again.

“Jesus…” Bryan says confused. “What is up with him? He’s not homophobic or anything, right?”

“I don’t know,” Robbe confesses his gaze turning away from the door where Sander had walked out and looks back at Bryan, thousands of questions shooting through his head as well. Could he really be homophobic? Or is there something else? What other reason would he have to be so mad at seeing Bryan and Robbe? Maybe jealousy? Nothing makes any sense to him, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it at all.

Bryan quietly stares at him, making Robbe realise how he still has to say something about what happened before Sander walked in. The only thing Robbe knows now is that he needs to make things clear with Bryan, even if it’s going to hurt him.

“So, uhm…” he starts hesitantly, hating that he has to let someone down. “About what you said, I’m so sorry, but I unfortunately don’t feel the same way…” He sees Bryan’s gaze drop down to the floor, pain washing over his face in no time.

“But Bryan, you’re a really good person, and I’m sure there will be so many more incredible people you will meet. Maybe even on all of your trips all over the world! I’m sure there will be someone who really likes you too,” Robbe badly tries to reassure him.

Bryan quietly murmurs a ‘yeah’, but then walks away from Robbe to the door and exits the cabin too, leaving Robbe all alone in the yellowy warm room. Robbe lets out a big sigh mixed with a groan as he rubs his hands over his face in frustration. He never meant to let two people down so badly, but it still happened in the span of just a few minutes.

He walks over to his bed to sit down, only for him to realize that he’s still in his swimming trunks, which are still very wet. He gets up again, angrily takes them off, and dries himself with the towel. Previous moments play over and over in his head, and he wonders why all of this had to happen this way. Maybe if he would’ve done things differently he wouldn’t have pissed off two people so much.

As Robbe is changing he ponders for a moment if he just should go to sleep right away, not feeling like talking to anyone or if he should join everyone else outside, not wanting to be a party pooper either. After taking in all considerations he decides to dive in bed straight away, since it isn’t that early anymore, and he just really isn’t in the mood to have any more awkwardness when the four of them will all have to get ready to sleep in here.

He buries himself under the covers, his brown curls and brown eyes peeking out from underneath. Robbe stares at the bed opposite of him where Sander’s suitcase is placed with some of his clothes spread out. Looking at the black leather jacket makes his thoughts go back to the quad bike trip, and how happy and carefree he was back then. Robbe craved nothing more than to have that back, whatever it was that there was going on between them.

He decides to shut his eyes, knowing that it will be better if he wants to give falling asleep a try. It of course doesn’t happen with his mind not shutting up at all, overthinking everything he has done. His thoughts go on and on until after about an hour, he hears the door opening and the voices of all three of his roommates coming in.

They all turn quiet, footsteps slowly coming closer until Kylie speaks up, trying to whisper but still saying pretty loudly, “I think Robbe is asleep, so we have to be quiet.”

“Yeah,” Bryan hums under his breath.

The sound of bags getting unzipped, clothes getting switched, and ladders getting climbed, fills up the room. It doesn’t take long before it seems like everyone has gotten in their bed, and it goes quiet.

“Sleep well,” Kylie quietly says.

“Good night,” Bryan replies.

“Night,” Sander says too.

When everyone seems to be comfortable and it has been silent for a while, Robbe dares to open his eyes again. He gazes at Sander lying opposite of him, but sees that those green eyes are staring right back at him. His heartbeat speeds up, not having expected Sander to be still awake and to be already looking at him.

He has a neutral expression, not seeming angry or sad this time, but not seeming happy either.

Robbe doesn’t know what to do, apart from looking back. It’s just them alone in the dark, silently gazing at the other. He wishes he could talk to him, explain things to him, ask him things and clear up the air between them. But instead he inaudibly mouths “Sorry,” wanting to at least do something.

Sander’s expression doesn’t change one bit. He keeps looking at Robbe until he lets out a little sigh and turns around, facing the wall this time.

Frustration builds up once again in Robbe’s belly. He decides to shift too, laying on his back now, staring at the ceiling of the bunk bed, wondering if sleep will ever come tonight.