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Published:
2022-07-16
Updated:
2024-06-21
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11/?
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Bleed Just to Know(You're Alive)

Summary:

Play dead and you'll be okay, Play dead and you won't get hurt, Play dead and no one will find out, Play dead and you'll be left alone
This is what Izuku reminded himself of for 6 years so he doesn't end up in worse conditions as he tried his best to survive.

Or Midoriya Izuku has to cope with not dying every day when the threat is gone

Notes:

Trigger warnings! Past abuse, injuries, blood, death, angst, comfort, self-doubt, anxiety, a broken bone, scars, trauma, swearing, threats, fear, panic, accusations, murder mentioned(attempt)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Shota massaged his left temple as he was handed another coffee. He already knew this was going to be a long night. The other pro heroes called him in as backup but revealed they hadn't needed him. Then they called him in case the victim's quirk went out of control, but that was ret-conned too. Now he was being called down to the police station. 

"Eraserhead, it's good to see you!"

Shota was greeted with a small wave. Detective Tsukauchi stood just in front of one of the interrogation rooms.

"Detective, why am I being called down here after two counts of being dismissed? Is my help needed or not?"

Tsukauchi nervously rubbed at his neck. He led Shota to the one-sided glass so he could see who was inside. A small figure hunched over themself, clutching the edge of an old flannel shirt. The figure rocked back and forth and appeared to mutter to himself.

"You have students of your own, we were hoping you could get him to respond."

Shota glanced at Tsukauchi for a second before turning his attention to the figure. He's a child. This is a child. He's very small so he has to be around 11 or 12. Maybe he's just gone through puberty?

"Handling 20 rambunctious teenagers is different from handling a traumatized prepubescent child."

Tsukauchi sighed beside him.

"No one has been able to get him to talk to us. As soon as we ask him a question he figuratively zips his mouth shut and looks at the door like he might bolt."

Why did Tsukauchi specify figuratively? 

"Yamada and Kayama have worked with kids for much longer and are better with people. Why not call them?"

"His quirk... it's complicated."

Shota looks over his shoulder at the detective, morbid curiosity rising in him. Was this kid's quirk dangerous, is that why?

"Explain, now."

"Well... oh! Look, he's doing it now."

Shota stared at the kid, not activating his quirk. He created gold-colored strands that weaved together to form a pillowcase. He used the pillowcase to wrap up his arm. Shota activated his quirk and watched as the design fell apart and faded out. Inside, the kid started panicking.

"Shit, go inside and calm him down."

Shota nodded as he rushed to open the door. The kid stopped visibly panicking but Shota could still see the fear in his eyes. When it appeared Shota wasn't doing anything to hurt him he relaxed. A dull film overtook his eyes.

The kid appeared several years older than he could be with the look in his eyes, but simultaneously appeared younger with the way he held himself like a toddler. His hair was ratty and covered in dirt and blood with his bangs drooping in his eyes. The flannel shirt he held onto appeared to fit a younger child.

Shota crouched down in front of the kid. There were scars around his mouth, it looked like someone had tried to dig their fingernails into him. Bruises on his neck caught his attention next. There were two marks on his right side and one on the left, like someone had tried to choke him with only 3 fingers. The perpetrator appeared to be left-handed. 

"Hi, I'm Eraserhead, I'm a pro hero."

Shota offered his hand. The kid stared at his hand and then looked up at his neck. Shota wears his capture weapon pretty regularly, so it's one of his only defining identifications for viewers.

The kid opened his mouth and blew air out of his mouth. He turned to cough before attempting to speak again.

"hello..."

According to Tsukauchi, this is the most he's spoken. Just because the detective was correct doesn't mean he won't deny his ability with kids. Shota thought he was terrible with children but apparently, he was doing a good job with this one. And all of his students.

"Can you tell me what happened? You have a lot of injuries."

The kid flinched away as Shota raised his hand to point. Shota drew back his hand and waited. The kid shook his head and bit down on his lip. Shota ran his eyes over the kid to search for more injuries. 

The arm he previously wrapped up was bent and shoved against his chest. Like he's protecting it. Likely broken, although an open fracture hasn't occurred so that's good at least. 

Both legs contain minor scrapes and bruises along with a still bleeding ankle. Shota could only assume he refused medical treatment if his aversion to even close gestures meant anything. Even so, he still needed to be checked for blood poisons and infections.

"Alright, kid, can you tell me your name, how old are you?"

The kid rapidly blinked and glanced around the room. Shota looked at what he was staring at. The camera is what he's worried about.

"Don't worry, just tell me what you're comfortable with."

The kid nodded and shifted so his arm was further out of view. 

"I'm... what's the date?"

Shota hadn't realized there might be some trouble with that. This kid has been missing for longer than a month at least.

"It's August, the second semester starts in a week. Do you know what year it is?"

The kid nodded before speaking again, "I've been counting the New Year's celebrations."

What Shota could gather was this kid at least had a tv where he was or he looked out the window. Either way, he could access the outside world in some way.

"I'm 15..."

Oh! Shota was completely wrong about his age, but that brought up several red flags. Why was someone his age so thin? How had a missing 15-year-old not been acknowledged by school friends at least? Why did this kid not try to escape? 

Shota could answer his own questions. He was this thin because he was obviously malnourished by whoever had him. Maybe the kid didn't have friends before or he had been missing for a few too many years. Maybe he lived with abusive parents and that's why he wasn't reported as missing and why he never tried to escape.

"Can you tell me about your family?"

The kid's eyes widened and a sparkle shone in them. That was the first time this entire conversation.

"My Mom... she's amazing! She always made my favorite dinner and she always supported me no matter what. I miss her... I haven't seen her in so long. My Dad........ I...... I don't know. I've never met him."

The kid reverted to a painfully dull face, reminiscent of a doll or puppet. Shota watched as the kid subtly shifted into a defensive position. Giving away information or appearing happy got him hurt? It's more likely showing emotion. This is how he's been coping.

"Alright, I need to know who your parents are. Can you tell me that?"

The kid's lip trembled as his eyes darted to the camera and the door. Shota passively raised his hands and waited. The kid noticed and nodded slowly. He took a shaky breath before pondering his words.

"My Mom's name is Inko... My Dad's is Hisashi... I..... I can't tell you anymore."

"Why not," it was out Shota's mouth before he could truly think of the next horror that might come from this kid.

"I'm not... I can't... Sensei won't... No."

Shota thought through all of his attempts at a sentence. Whoever Sensei is, he won't allow this child to communicate. Shota could probably bet all of his life earnings "Sensei" had this child for however many years and he's the one who abused him. 

The kid fiddled with the flannel shirt and his expression looked almost longing as he stared at it. This might help them out a bit more.

"Could you tell me who that shirt belongs to?"

The kid looked up and had an almost bright glow in his eyes again but stifled it just as quickly.

"It belonged to my friend, Kacchan..."

"Kacchan?" Shota asked.

"Bakugo Katsuki...... we hung out all of the time but I haven't seen him since......... He's around my age."

Shota didn't like that long pause but he could only assume "since I was kidnapped." Still, an entire name from his past was more than enough to find him. And maybe they could find his family while they were at it.
Shota stood up and walked slowly toward the door. The kid watched him out of the corner of his eye. Shota waved before exiting. Tsukauchi came out of the observation side of the room. He looked pleased.

"Find Bakugo Katsuki and maybe see if his parents know an Inko or a Hisashi."

"Already planned on it Eraser, thanks for your help."

"Of course, I'm assuming you want me here to explain the situation."

Tsukauchi sent off an officer to look for their one-named person.

"Actually, I think it's best if you visit the residence yourself. They might want to ask you questions seeing as you're the only person so far to hold a conversation with him."

Shota sighed heavily. This was turning out to be an even longer night than he thought.


Katsuki glared at the weird hobo in front of him. First, this guy asks if he can come in because there are a few people he needs help identifying. Then he asks if Katsuki can be in the conversation, he apparently important to it. Third, he introduced himself as "Pro hero, Eraserhead," like that makes any sense. And now he's sitting in front of them, on their couch, with a picture of Auntie and her ex-husband.

"So these two are Inko and Hisashi?"

"Yes, sir."

Katsuki glared at his dad. He didn't have to show respect to this hobo even if he really was who he said he was. 

"May I ask what happened to them?"

"No, you may fucking not."

"Katsuki! Watch your language young man!" his mother chided.

"Whatever."

"I'm sorry about him. Since he lost his friend, he hasn't been quite himself. His temper just gets shorter and shorter."

"Oh shut it! I'm always myself! You don't know anything!"

"Damnit Katsuki, don't yell in front of a guest, especially not at me!"

"Can you two please calm down..."

The hobo had the nerve to sigh. How dare he even think he can come into the house and think they'll be okay with him asking personal questions.

"I apologize for our son's behavior. Inko was a dear friend of ours so, of course, our boys were best friends. After he..... well Inko had always been a bit fragile and the grief killed her."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"You're just saying that out of respect, you don't actually care!"

"Katsuki! You can't just say whatever rude thing you want! We taught you manners!"

Katsuki glared at his Mom and Dad before turning to the stranger.

"You wanna know about Hisashi and Auntie? He fucking left when his son turned out to be a lesser being. When that son died Auntie kicked the bucket. Are you fucking happy?"

"Katsuki! You don't know that for sure. He's just missing!"

"He may have been reported as missing almost 6 years ago, but there's no way he ain't dead now, so stop denying it! Now hobo, why the fuck did you want me here?"

Katsuki glared down at him. Hobo didn't even respond to him being called a hobo, but his Mom did tell him to apologize. Hobo stood up to match Katsuki's height while he stood on their coffee table.

"We might have found your friend, we need you to ID him for us."


Shota led the two of them into the station. Mr. Bakugo stayed home as he had to go to work very soon but he would like to see him if it was actually him. Mrs. Bakugo kept shooting silent glares at her son while he cursed up a storm. He didn't want to do any of the legal paperwork, understandably so.

After filling out a guest form and receiving a guest badge, Katsuki stood at a relaxed version of attention while he waited. Shota led him to the observation room Tsukauchi had occupied two nights prior. Before sending any more people in they had to make sure they were familiar.

According to Mrs. Bakugo, their friend's name was Midoriya Inko, and her son's name is Midoriya Izuku. All he needs Katsuki to do is ID him as Izuku and things will be solved. They can figure out if he has any living relatives and handle things from there.

In the room, Izuku, or so they hope, is sitting with his arm in a cast and several bandages covering his face, neck, legs, and his not broken arm. He looks just as lifeless as he did when they first met. He didn't appear to be doing anything crazy although he did make a small plush made of black fabric. A second glance told him that was a plush of him, Eraserhead. 

"What's he doing?"

"As far as I know, he's just messing around with his quirk to comfort himself. He's only spoken to me since he's arrived and he refuses to let anyone touch him. They had to sedate him to give him proper medical attention and now he refuses to even mumble when he's alone."

Shota stats silent as Katsuki takes in all of the kid in front of them. Maybe a closer look will help more, but his physical features are still very distinct through the glass. Dull green eyes, dark green hair, and pale freckles in a diamond pattern. Although, the freckles on his right cheek are covered by bandages. 

"So, do you recognize him?"

"Yes and no."

Shota turned his attention to the child next to him. Katsuki had a pensive look on his face. 

"Well it has been almost 6 years according to you, he's bound to look older."

Katsuki waves the air in front of him while shaking his head.

"That's not what I meant. There are 3 reasons why that isn't the Deku I knew."

So they have nicknames for each other. Good to know.

"Number 1, Deku always, always, fills in the silence unless I'm talking. Number 2, Deku always has those dumb red shoes on, he doesn't right now, those are black. Number 3, Deku doesn't have a quirk. He's never had a quirk. I had to listen to him cry for hours about being diagnosed quirkless and watch him try for hours to use a quirk that wasn't there. So yes, that looks exactly like him, but no, that ain't him."

Shota stared numbly as Katsuki stomped off. He wondered briefly if he should try to bring him back so they could try to talk to each other. Mrs. Bakugo entered next and she IDed him as Midoriya Izuku immediately. 


"Ah! Tsukauchi, good to hear from you! What's up?"

"Yagi, I'd like to say this is about something pleasure related or even just a catch-up, but there's something important we need to discuss at the station."

Toshinori sighed at the declaration. It could never be fun for them, only business. Well, I guess that was a hero's job. Still, though, he had a few more hours of hero work he could do.

"Can it wait, I still have a few more hours of hero work to get in and I have all of this paperwork..."

"It's about the recent victim we found and All For One."

Shit.

"I'm on my way."

Toshinori hung up his phone and ran as fast as he could to the Musutafu Police Station. It can't be the worst-case scenario, I mean the worst case would be All For One is still alive and this child they found is hosting his spirit.

Toshinori shuddered at that thought and pushed forward. He slowed to a light jog as he neared the street and calmed to a walk as he entered the station. It was gearing towards sunset now. 

"All Might is here? Why did you call him in?"

A gruff-looking man in all black stood beside Tsukauchi. Had he not already met all of UA's staff, he'd have no idea who this is. But he met Aizawa almost as soon as he entered the building. 

"Aizawa, a pleasure to see you again! Tsukauchi, are we discussing the case yet?"

"Yeah, you two walk with me."

Tsukauchi turned around and Toshinori followed as he and Aizawa walked to the interrogation rooms. Toshinori questioned why they were there.

"The victim is in that room."

"You're keeping him locked up like a criminal? Why?"

"It took a sedative to move him to put all of those bandages on him. As soon as he woke up, he bolted back into the room. He doesn't like most people and only started responding to Eraserhead after he introduced himself as a hero."

Toshinori pondered for a bit. This kid only felt safe around heroes? That was understandable. Heroes are meant to save everyone. But police officers are friends too. Perhaps he's worried about dirty cops? Or maybe it's because Eraserhead has met him before.

"How does this child relate to... you know?"

Aizawa gave him a weird look.

"Considering Eraserhead will be a part of this case because Midoriya only responds to him and only trusts him, we'll be explaining things about All For One."

Toshinori released a sigh of relief. He didn't like lying and keeping secrets was exhausting, but he did it out of protection. Since Eraserhead was one of the most trustworthy heroes he's met, Toshinori felt he could trust him.


"So, wait, you're telling me a 200-year-old super villain who's been aiming to kill you, who you've thought dead up to this point, may be targeting this kid? What the hell gave you that idea? Are you sure he's dead or alive?"

Shota paced around the small room as he waited for one of them to answer.

"Well his body was never recovered but I did smash his face multiple times. He shouldn't have survived that."

"Great, so this evil supervillain is still probably out there. Not only that, but he's targeting a child and has already traumatized this child."

"Aizawa, that child has a quirk from All For One. You said it yourself, his file has him listed as quirkless, his friend said he was diagnosed quirkless, and he used a quirk that you erased by looking at him. He's likely working for the villain."

"I refuse to believe that. That child would try to kill me if he worked for a supervillain like that. He didn't even tell me to go away. He's not a villain, he's not working for one, and ill be damned if you try to suggest anything of the sort!"

Shota knew his anger was a bit irrational but the last 3 days have been absolute hell. He'd spent so much time with this child trying to coax him to talk, that he had grown an attachment. 

"Aizawa, he refuses to share anything about where he's been these last few years, about what he might've done. He could have committed some kind of villainy or had a plan to take a hero down already. We have to review every option."

Shota turned on his quirk as he glared at All Might. He puffed out smoke and shrunk to his "true form." All Might coughed up blood at the sudden transformation.

"Midoriya Izuku is not a villain and is not working for one either. He is a traumatized victim and he needs our support. Now, if you have nothing helpful to add, please leave."

All Might swallowed air as Shota continued to glare. Tsukauchi led All Might away before Shota could do something he would likely regret. Shota sighed as he looked into the room. Izuku looked content to play with his Eraserhead plush and another plush wrapped in the old flannel and just forget about the argument on the other side of the glass.

"That must be a Kacchan plush..."

Shota smiled at the sight. If only things were easier for this kid. A smile wouldn't be a miracle and physical touch wouldn't be impossible.


Izuku looked up as the door opened. His plushies fizzed out on instinct. He cuddled his arm into his stomach and angled his body away to hide most of his injuries.

Don't show any weakness and they'll let you be. Don't make any noise and they'll let you be. Don't make eye contact and they'll let you be. Don't smile or laugh and they'll leave you alone.

It's your fault if they hurt you. It's your fault if you get emotional. Don't show any reaction. Play dead. If they make a joke, play dead. It's easier if you just play dead. They can't hurt you if you give them no reason to.

"How're you feeling," Eraserhead's kind voice broke through his dark reminders.

Izuku didn't normally get asked how he felt. Sensei didn't ask unless he wanted to test him. The first few times he didn't get it, but now he knew. Don't answer honestly or else suffer the consequences. Tomura asked him sometimes too, but if he answered he'd tease him. Or hurt him. His throat still hurt from when he expressed his anger and yelled at Tomura. That was very recent.

Eraserhead didn't hurt him when he spoke. He encouraged him. When he got happy about a topic, Eraserhead relaxed. When Eraserhead asked to see how he made the Eraserhead doll, he sounded genuine. Tomura and Sensei only ever sounded teasing and mocking. Only ever belittling.

"I'm... I don't know. I guess.... nervous? Not around you... just in general..."

Izuku panicked slightly. He didn't want to offend Eraserhead after he has been so nice since he arrived. If he offends people they have a reason to hurt him. It's his own fault if he gets hurt after all. He didn't want to get hurt. 

"Could be anxiety. That's very common in situations similar to yours."

Izuku didn't know what situations like his were but from what he's heard, not good. He listened through the door with a sound amplifier he made, he's glad he has so much thread on hand, and heard them talking. 

They knew about All For One, that's Sensei's name. All Might was worried about him being a villain or working for one. He could assure him he had no intention of becoming one, but he figured he'd let them figure that out on their own. 

Eraserhead defended him! Izuku never had that. Detective Tsukauchi remained mostly neutral. If he is friends with All Might, as he seems, Izuku can give him a chance. But if he starts talking to him, will Eraserhead leave and never come back as his help is no longer necessary?

"Can you tell me some more about Kacchan? Anything you remember, of course."

Izuku nodded excitedly. Kacchan was one of his favorite people. Man, he missed him. Kacchan had always been there with him. Kacchan is the strongest person ever! He always won no matter who he fought. And Kacchan never gave up ever. Even when he challenged Izuku to switch shoes with him for a week and it pinched his toes horribly.

Kacchan loves spicy food and almost always has a black or a flannel shirt on. His main motivation is being the best and his second is being the richest. He's mean to everyone and he secretly loves his parents but he would never say that to them. He wants to be just like All Might!

Izuku realized he just muttered all of that. Not only that, it was one of his "mumble obsession rants" that Kacchan found annoying. Izuku created a bag out of the threads and slipped it onto his head. It ended up resembling the paper grocery bags his Mom used to use for shopping.

"Um, can I see Mom or Kacchan sometime? I really miss them..."

"I know kid. There's something we have to explain about your Mom though," a knock stops him, "Hold that thought."

Eraserhead walks to the door and opens it partially. There's a quiet growl that sounds like an older angrier Kacchan. Izuku shoves down the bubbling hope. Hope leads to disappointment and heartbreak. 

Eraserhead comes back over after leaving the door slightly ajar. Izuku nervously bites his lip to ease just a little of it. He scratches at the edge of his cast as he stares at it. He's too nervous to hear what Eraserhead is saying.

"Oh, God! If Eraserhead thinks it's rude if I don't respond then he'll be mad at me! What if he hurts me because I ignored him? What if he never talks to me again?"

Izuku's thoughts continued to spiral as Eraserhead left the room. Eraserhead didn't come back and that further cemented Izuku's thoughts. Externally he appeared as calm as possible but internally he was screaming. Whenever he got thoughts like this his chest hurt and his head ached and he felt the tears coming.

A familiar head of blond spiky hair entered the room. The figure was too tall to be either of them but it had been 6 years. This could only be Kacchan though. He was wearing sweatpants and a black skull t-shirt, so it really had to be him. Unless Sensei was tricking him. 

The blond slumped against the wall just watching him. He had on a pensive face. They both just stared at each other silently. Izuku wondered if he was offending Kacchan by not saying anything. He had been the one to request Kacchan he just didn't think he would see him so soon. Unless Kacchan was in trouble for some reason!

"Kacchan! Are you okay?"

The blond slowly lowered himself to Izuku's height. He only needed to kneel to reach him, considering he has been sitting on the stool they offered him. His head tilted to the side.

"Yeah, that's the Deku I know."

Izuku crinkled his brows together. Did Kacchan not think he was him? Was someone hurting him too? Was he in danger? Was Sensei or someone else targeting Kacchan? What-

"Shut up, nerd. Your mutterings are giving me a migraine. Two minutes with me and you're already more yourself than you have been in the past week."

Izuku sucked in a breath. They haven't seen each other in 6 years. He missed out on 6 years of birthdays with his Mom, 6 years of hero games with Kacchan, and 6 years of pro-hero debuts. 

"Sorry..... Why are you... here?"

"Ehh? Because they needed me to ID you, dumbass. You didn't give them more relevant info than your parents' first names and my name. Apparently, when asked, you wouldn't stop talking about Auntie and me, but as soon as they ask about you, you shut down. What the fuck happened?"

Kacchan is safe, which is good. Izuku hated to think what Sensei might do if he met Kacchan. Kacchan was very emotional and always resorted to rage first. Tomura was worse when you made him angry though. He had to be reminded he couldn't kill someone and sometimes he still did it. It was only because he liked messing with Izuku, that Izuku was still alive.

As much as Izuku wanted to tell Kacchan everything, he couldn't. Someone could overhear and if Sensei found out, he would be angry. An angry Sensei lashed out at not only Izuku but the things he cared about. As long as Izuku was with him, he only had maybe a few toys or a notebook he cared about. Here he had too many people he cared about. 

"I... I can't say. B-before you say anything..... um, I want to tell you, but," Izuku's thoughts wandered to Sensei.

"If you run to anyone and try to tell them, they won't believe you. And once you come running back I'll find out. And I'll take away every little thing you've ever loved. That way I will be the only one you have. You don't have much anyway, so it's best to stay with me. Oh, and Izuku, I always know. Be careful."

"I-"

Tears built up at the corners of his eyes. Izuku tried his best to cover his face with one hand. He didn't succeed but Kacchan covered the rest of his face for him. Kacchan didn't like to be seen crying so he understood.

"He... I... It hurts! It hurts so much! I just don't want you guys to feel it too..."

Kacchan gently—too gentle a movement for such a brash boy—cupped Izuku's head in his hand and laid him against his shoulder. He laced his other arm around his torso and rested it protectively across Izuku's back.

"It's fine. Whoever "he" is, he won't hurt you or me or Mom or the Hobo hero you like so much. It's gonna be fine and I'll be damned if anyone ever tries to hurt you again."

Kacchan's voice was low and soothing but filled with anger. Izuku normally didn't like anger. Anger meant he would get hurt. He didn't like to be hurt. But from Kacchan, it sounded like his anger wasn't to him but for him. Kacchan's anger was protective. Kacchan's anger meant loyalty and love. That made Izuku cry harder than he had in years.