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He longs for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance–not to conquer demons, but to a tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers.
That is his dream.
Unfortunately, Yaksha had no place in their long life for dreams. Especially not him who had a whole nation to protect. Over and over he would try to forget that dream–his desire.
But when he looked in her eyes and chatted to her about idle things.
The dream would come alive in her eyes. As he saw the flames and ember dancing in her eyes–he wished he could join them for just one dance.
Unfortunately, he knew the reality of their lifespans, of her mortality. So for that–he would continue to push her away.
It was his fault for letting her grow too close to him. He was at fault for the way she would stop by and recite her poems to him. For the way she would get him in on a prank and high-five him when it worked.
She deserved a mortal lover who would grow old with her as they sat on the porch drinking tea. Not the vigilant yaksha of Liyue. She deserved one that could give her the bare minimum of a normal life. Not Xiao, the conqueror of demons.
He wondered about her perspective on their relationship, but also did not dare to let her get close anymore. This was the best thing he could do for her, staying away was the best thing for her.
If he truly loved her he would let her go.
After weeks of hearing her call his name and not responding to it, it was done. The deed had reached its end and he would never have to see her again.
But his heart ached when he thought about it. Watching her from afar as she played her games, watching her get married, it was all too much.
He despised himself for this, if only he kept his walls up then he would not have to think about this.
His dream was to flutter like the butterflies around her, and yet the butterfly fluttered away.
A part of him wished to hear her voice behind him as she called out his name and enveloped him in a hug, perhaps that could be a part of his unattainable dreams. The yaksha’s dream was simple, but unfortunately, it could never be fully realized.
Xiao opened his eyes to look over the balcony–looking at everything that the Inn overlooked. The bushes, the marsh, the lovers walking into the Inn. Everything seemed to be in order.
That was until a wayward butterfly crossed his path. And he was not talking about one with wings–but the one that gave his soul wings. He could hear her giggle, and smell the pleasant scent of flowers she brought with her everywhere. His head told him to disappear, to run away from her, he could see her tailcoat flutter behind her.
He should have run, but his heart contradicted him.
He wondered how he would look to her, what she was coming here for, what had brought this firefly to come to him.
It all did not matter, instead of him beckoning to the call from her lips, she was beckoned to the call from his heart.
He took a breath as he heard footsteps run up the stairs to him. It was his last chance to run–but he did not dare move a muscle.
“You little!” Hu Tao practically pounced on him weakly beating his chest. “What happened to you?! I was so concerned!” Hu Tao examined him–checking for any signs of a struggle on his physical being–but it seemed she was the one who got the short end of the stick.
She was covered in bruises and scratches–haphazardly covered with cloth. The guilt on his back felt heavier when he looked at her.
“I’m sorry.” Xiao said as he fixed the tassel on her hat, it must've gotten tangled on the way here.
“For what?” Hu Tao craned her neck as she adjusted something on her back. “Now that we got pleasantries out of the way I really really need help with something.” She clasped her hands together and gave him puppy dog eyes. He would have said yes anyway, but it inclined him further.
“What needs to be killed.” His eyes turned to knives it seemed–all he wanted was the blood of whatever hurt her on his spear.
“Aiya Xiao it's not that kind of business! I just need help recovering something from a field, I figured with your eyesight it would be quicker! Funerals are a time-sensitive manner after all.” Hu Tao giggled to herself before taking a breath. “Bodies don’t stay fresh forever!” Xiao rolled his eyes at the joke in poor taste. She was right though, they needed to set off if they wanted to complete her work in time.
“Lead the way.” Xiao stepped off the railing and crossed his arms as Hu Tao put her hands behind her back with a mischievous grin on her face.
“Now you agreed, now you can’t back out! You’ve been pranked!” Hu Tao pumped her fist into the air with a grin. “This is actually for a personal reason, I’ll let you know once we get there, but I am looking for something.” Hu Tao grabbed his hand–running to the elevator before he got a chance to even think.
He would follow her to the ends of the earth though.
She talked as she led him, about the things that had happened to her while he was away.
She pranked one named Chongyun so bad he had not talked to her since. She learned to cook something new, and her business was going slow at the moment. That only meant bad news to her.
He was happy to listen to her again. Talk about mortal things.
But maybe this had to be the last time. He was a fool for letting her come back and now she was in danger again.
But her scars, she seemed worse off without him. It seemed he had a lot of time to think about it as she led them to Jueyun Karst. At least he was familiar with it, but he had no clue how Hu Tao would fare here.
Through the rocky mountain pass and the hillsides, she kept singing a song and talking to him.
“Say Xiao.” Hu Tao avoided eye contact as she traversed the wooden bridge, making it creak with every step. “You ok? Looks like the gears are turning pretty fast in your head.” She was right in assuming that–but he should have expected this since she was the one to mostly hang out with him after all this time.
“I’m fine. Continue walking.” It was so in character for her to be caring while singing one of her poems. Perhaps a whistle here and there as well.
Her carefree nature was reliving to be around.
“Woah look at the waterfall!” Hu Tao ran to the old bridge and he watched as it swung with her weight. It cause him to be a bit on edge–that bridge was not fit to carry people over it anymore.
But he found her amazement at Jueyun Karst adorable.
Most humans were too scared to come here because of the Adepti, but as with most urban legends and those concerning the divine, she seemed to be the only human immune to them.
“I wish we had this kind of natural beauty closer to home don't you?” Hu Tao turned to him, he had seen that waterfall thousands of times, and his focus drifted to the one in front of it with a huge smile on their face. Natural beauty was closer to her than she thought.
Her very being was the most breathtaking thing about the mountain scenery to Xiao. Tangled brunette locks cascading, and her eyes scrunched up in a smile.
He wished every day of his life could be like this, but that was just another juvenile dream of his.
“This bridge is like a swing!” Hu Tao started leaning back and forth, making the bridge more unstable by the second.
“Hu Tao what are you doi-” Snap. They looked at each other as the bridge grew more unstable. He held his hand up indicating for her to stay still. He saw her face, no fear was in it. Just a smile reassuring him she was ok.
The way out was simple he just had to prepare himself to teleport to her location and get them to the other side before it collapsed.
Unfortunately for him, someone had different plans. An arrow cut through the rope from a distant hilichurl, Hu Tao tried to run to him but she disappeared beneath the mountain.
That was something he could not stand to see.
He dashed to her, wrapped a hand around her waist, and got them to the other side safely.
Hu Tao just laughed as her feet touched the ground, the waterfall helped calm both of their spirits after that ordeal.
But for some reason, she had never looked scared. Not even when she fell, even now she looked elated.
“Why so happy Hu Tao?” He asked as she took his hand and led him across the waterfall. She shook her head as if the answer was obvious.
“Silly adeptus.” She said–he could hear the grin grow as she spoke. “I’m so happy to be with you again, going on our little adventures together again.”
He felt like he was the one with a goofy exaggerated grin on his face now. But only a small smile graced his lips.
“I’m never in danger when I’m with you.” He could barely hear it as they went over the waterfall–but thanks to his sensitive hearing, it was as clear as the sky above them.
The mountain path was one that was not forgiving. He could see it as she walked–her steps were not calculated and she kept falling onto a tree, or him. They were losing daylight, there was only one thing he could think to do.
“Hu Tao.” Xiao grabbed her arm as he heard her exasperated gasps for air. “Get on my back.”
“No, no I’m fine.” She turned to him–and at that moment they both knew. She was not in fact fine. “Ok, fine you caught me. Do all adepti offer piggyback rides when humans are tired?” She hopped on his back wrapping her arms around his neck as his arms looped around her thighs.
“Not usually.” Xiao quite liked this–more than he should. Her grasp on him just felt refreshing.
Being by her again after weeks just felt healing.
The rest of the trip was subdued as Hu Tao opted to rest on him–only calling out directions to him as they went, so they would not get lost in the maze that was Jueyun Karst.
She led them to a place that confused him, a place that overlooked the cliff by one of the abodes. She should not even be allowed up here.
But Hu Tao was not one to follow the rules of life.
“Ok! Jump!” Hu Tao pointed over the cliff earning a look of pure confusion from Xiao.
“Where?” Xiao asked–wanting to make sure this was what she truly wanted. It was pretty ill-advised for mortals to just jump off of a cliff.
“Down!” She cast her finger downwards in front of him earning a sigh from Xiao. She took them to Nantianem, in the middle of the night. He best be on his guard–just in case any demons would come for them.
“Ok, hold on tight.” He thought about jumping as she suggested, but that still added room for doubt that she would be ok after that daredevil-like trick. Hu Tao nodded as she gripped her thighs around his waist and held tight to her hat with one hand and the other down his neck to his chest.
With a breath, they had made it down to the marsh-like plain.
“That was far less exciting Xiao.” She hopped off of his back and dusted herself off. It seemed her energy returned. “But I’ll forgive you, c’mon let's go find it!” Hu Tao was in no position to waste time, not when the sun had already dipped below the horizon.
“Where should I look?” Xiao asked her as she muddled around in the dirt.
“Over there! Tell me if you see something strange or paranormal!” She pointed in the direction of a big tree, covered in vines and glowing flowers. It was enchanting at night.
Xiao nodded before walking towards it, the marsh was quiet besides the Director, but that was how he preferred his days.
The lotuses were gorgeous, the flowers brought the field to life. He loved it here. He wishes they could be here for different reasons though.
Xiao walked to the base of the tree running his gloved fingers through the shrubbery that surrounded it.
He was taken aback by what he found. He definitely found something abnormal.
A plate of almond tofu is neatly set out on a picnic blanket–with some music playing nearby. The flowers were all around the picnic adding a nice touch to it.
Xiao sat on the blanket–he could not but hope that all this was for him, that Morax had blessed him, but that could not be further from the truth.
“Da da da~! You’ve been pranked!” Hu Tao sat by him with a laugh and held his cheeks as she made him smile.
“Was this your doing?” The frogs started to sing as she held a hand over her mouth when she giggled.
“The personal reason was that I wanted to spend time with you. Uninterrupted!” Xiao held the plate of almond tofu in his hand–still a bit baffled as to why she would go through all the trouble… For him.
“We could do that at the inn.” Hu Tao spoon-fed him some almond tofu after he said that with a pout on her face.
“Does the Inn have flowers like this? No?” When he did not answer back (mainly due to the food in his mouth). She got a proud look to her. “That’s what I thought! Now enjoy the food!” Xiao would. After all, she went through all this just for him–for seemingly no reason at all.
The music was quite calming, flute and piano played together like a duet. He never knew she had such exquisite taste in music.
Or maybe it was for him. Either way, it reminded him.
Reminded of that day he was saved.
Reminded him of his dream.
“Xiao, I actually have something I would like to talk to you about.” Her demeanor exhibited nervous behavior as she played with the rings on her fingers.
“Go ahead.” He said between bites of almond tofu.
She took a deep breath and met his eyes with a blush dusting across her cheeks.
“I really like hanging out with you, and I just-” She paused, uncharacteristic of the director to stop in the middle of a sentence. “Aiya, I’ve never done this before I’m horrible at this.” She hid her face in her hands–of course, Xiao could not understand.
“Just say it frankly.” It was the only solution he could think of.
“Fine best to get it over with anyway! I…I don't really wanna be your friend anymore Xiao.” Hu Tao turned to him after saying those words. Those words made his soul drop and his heart stop beating.
Seemed she wanted to burn the bridge herself. That was fine with him, she was just doing his job for him.
He should have never left her alone those weeks, he should've tried so she would not have to deal with this herself.
“I wanna kiss you. How funny is that?” He dropped the fork on the picnic blanket and felt heat go to his face. He did not know what to do–but there was only one thing he could do.
Xiao moved the almond tofu off of the blanket–moved toward her and held her in an embrace–more like she held him. His head was on her shoulder and he gripped as hard as he could around her.
Hu Tao just cooed. Such a confession–she would not know how he would react. She would have never guessed that something like this would happen though. So she just rubbed circles on his back as she hummed to the music.
She felt a tear or two soak through her jacket–maybe this was not the best idea. She should've locked these feelings away in a bottle, as it was proving too much for him.
“I’m sorry Xiao, I know you’re an adeptus.” Her voice was soft as she spoke, careful not to add to his overwhelmed psyche right now. “We can pretend this didn’t happen.” Xiao’s grip loosened when she said that, making her feel quick meek when he stared at her with slightly puffy eyes.
Xiao wiped a tear that had formed in her eyes and slowly closed his eyes as he leaned in. She was everything he could have ever imagined, everything he could have dreamed of.
He held her soft upper arms as he brought her close. He opened his eyes before he pulled away, hers were delicately shut with the remnants of tears on her eyelashes.
He pulled away–she stared at him. Both do not know what to say next.
But perhaps there were no words needed. He stood up and offered his hand to her–to which she accepted.
He went to a plain of flowers covered by the tree's shadow and turned to her. If this was a dream, he would be sure to do everything he desired.
He wrapped an arm around her waist as she put a hand on his shoulder. They could barely hear the orchestral music in the background but still.
It was a beautiful night for a dance.
He donned his mask–he could not think of any better time to wear it than now. To break the cycle than now. To the artificial flute music and the perfect partner.
He heard a scoff from Hu tao when he did–but she did not complain. Just dancing with him was enough for her.
As their feet twirled and her stifled giggles hit the air when she stepped on his foot. He realized everything all at once.
His dream came true, in the form of the most idiosyncratic girl he had ever met, and when he looked at her he came to the conclusion in his heart.
That he would not have it any other way.
Hu Tao twirled him under her arm with a laugh. One he had not heard before, one that was filled to the brim with joy.
To be so carefree, to be dancing in her gentle grasp.
He adored it. He mouthed “your turn.” To her as he spun her out and dipped her. They disrupted resting crystalflies as they did, causing all of them to fly in the air and leave their essence everywhere.
From Hu Tao’s point of view, it was the best. She saw that intimidating mask that hid a soul so kind, as dust from the crystalflies covered his hair.
She leaned up and continued dancing with him–letting him lead since he was clearly better at it. Hu Tao rested her head on his chest as their dancing took them all over the field.
He could not tell how long it had been, all that mattered to him was continuing this dance as long as the lord let them. He could not fall into human fatigue.
But his partner could.
Hu Tao got more sloppy and heavy in his arms, relying on him to keep her afloat.
He took off his mask and held her head up to him. Stopping their dance and finally sealing it with a kiss.
Her foot kicked into the air as she deepened the kiss with him.
Though he never said yes, it was crystal clear that their minds shared the same headspace. Their hearts shared the same feeling.
She pulled away first–him chasing her until she stopped him with her hand. He had a cross look on his face when she did but she just stuck her tongue out in response.
He moved her hand out of the way and pulled her into another kiss–not that she complained holding his face as he did.
But it was late, he should see her to bed when there were demons and monsters all around.
In the kiss he held her close and brought them to Wangshu Inn, her head hit the soft pillow, and she gasped in the kiss and looked around.
It made for more trouble for her since she would have to go and get her stuff back from Nantienmen tomorrow.
“Xiao you little!” He put a finger over her mouth as he took her hat and jacket off and enveloped her with the blanket.
“Sleep.” He kissed the bridge of her nose as she yawned. She grumbled something as she hugged the pillow. He usually would never join her, but tonight was different. He took off everything that had adorned him and put them in a pile with Hu Tao’s jacket and hat. She tossed aside the pillow she was hugging and reached her arms out to him.
He felt completely loved in that embrace, although a bit suffocating. It was something he could definitely get used to though.
Hours had passed, he was stuck playing with her hair and admiring her all night as she snored and drooled on him.
The sun’s golden light had just leaked into the room making her look like an angel in his arms.
He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger there for probably much too longer than what was normal.
His old dream had come true.
So he found a new one.
She was his new dream, and he had always been hers.
And so Hu Tao and Xiao would always sleep next to each other, and always dream of the one next to them.