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Hair dye has typically been used to cover up gray roots, or to subtly switch the shade of one's hair blonder or darker. It was something that the older generations fought to keep secret. It was a shame to not have the color naturally at seventy, a scandal for a singer to not actually be blond! For a long time it was used merely to enhance natural beauty as discreetly as possible.
Until Gen Z grabbed all the neons and shades of the earth and proceeded to bleach it onto their hair. The older generations stare in horror as a teenager wearing all black marches down the street with hot pink streaks in their hair. Pixie cuts, box braids, afros, long waves, buzzed cuts, etc. Every style of every length could have its own part of the rainbow.
Despite the new hair styles being showcased literally everywhere, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes did not know that this was possible.
Peter learned this when he, Ned, and MJ were hanging out at the tower. They all had a biology project together and decided it would be best to get the thing done and over with ASAP so they could watch movies the next weekend.
It began with Peter, in a sleep deprived state, rambling about how horrid the project was.
"Do you ever feel sad about these frogs? Imagine hatching from your little frog egg, growing and hopping around happily with you family. Then BAM, the education system kidnaps you! You spend your final moments being put down in front of a class of teenagers who laugh at how your eyes are popping out of their sockets."
"Peter," MJ stared at him with a blank expression "That was the most poetic thing anyone has ever said about frogs. I'm concerned."
"And I'm sad." Ned stared at his textbook being opened to a frog anatomy diagram "I think I'm going to plot a rescue mission."
"Ned, no," MJ waved him off "Peter, stop before you make us feel guilty over this project before we even start."
"That's rich coming from the vegan." Peter said snarkily "Join Ned and I on our rescue mission..." Peter's eyes went from excited to slack as he started to nod off tiredly.
"Peter, when was the last time you slept?" MJ asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No comment."
"Dude, you know we have a deal." Ned crossed his arms dissaprovingly.
'Team Super-Spidey' (name picked by Ned alone) was Peter's form of backup. Tony and the Avengers might have armies, the government, and literal other universe's to help them but none of that could compare to this trio.
Ned's hacking and MJ's planning, combined with Peter's raw talent of fighting and natural intellect, made them unstoppable.
This gave MJ and Ned some leadership in how Spider-Man (AKA, Peter) took care of himself. They forced him to follow a rule of sleeping at least six hours a night and eating three meals with two snacks a day. He might get busy and forget to take care of himself, but they sure as hell wouldn't.
"I know, I know. If I don't sleep enough you'll both beat me unconscious so I finally get some. I'm aware of the threats." Peter muttered under his breath.
"You can count on that," MJ cracked her knuckles "I have a killer punch. One second after contact, you'll be out for days."
"Jesus," Bucky breathed out in horror as he walked into the living room. He looked between the trio with wide eyes "Why are we beating up Peter?!"
"Because he won't take care of himself. So we'll do it for him!" Ned said this with a chirpy tone. As if he didn't just vaguely threaten Peter.
"... I'm not sure if you mean that in a comforting 'I'll make you a care basket to take care of you' way or a 'I'm going to kill you way'." Bucky said after blinking at them for a moment.
"That's the point. It keeps Peter on his toes." MJ noted with a blank expression. Her lack of emotion has never ceases to amaze her peers.
Bucky hummed, deciding it was best not to get involved with whatever scandal was in the making.
He went to the couch to open a book and started sipping on a mug of tea he brought with him. The trio decided to continue threatening Peter.
"Ok, ok, I get it. I'm sorry. I just..." Peter's frustration was evident. MJ and Ned looked at one another. Bucky even sneakily looked up from his book.
"What's going on with you? You've been out of it lately." MJ asked
"We're worried you aren't taking care of yourself." Ned said gently, clasping a hand onto Peter's knee. Peter melted into the touch, realizing how much he missed physical contact.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so snappy. I've just been so stressed. With finals coming up and rent being due... there is just so much going on in this world and I can't control any of it."
"That doesn't make it your fault." MJ reluctantly followed Ned's lead (pun intended) and put a hand on Peter's shoulder. She wasn't as snuggly as Peter or Ned, but she'd do it for them if it cheered them up any day.
"You are so smart and talented. You're Spider-Man for goodness sake! You'll figure it out." Ned said enthusiastically as he squeezed Peter's knee.
"But I still can't control it. And that's what's getting me. I feel like everything is spiraling and I can't stop it. That's why I'm so tired... I've been patrolling more to feel more in control." Peter admitted.
"Dude..." Ned said sadly. He couldn't find the words to comfort his friend.
"I think you should take a break. Do something that you love. Maybe that will make you feel more in control of your life, and help you enjoy it some." MJ offered
"Most of the stuff I love is work. I literally don't know how to relax." Peter slumped down. MJ thought for a moment before perking up.
"I got it!" MJ immediately sprung up, her joy caused whiplash for everyone in the room. "It's something you can control. It's stylish. It's the cure to all things mentally ill. Two words: Hair. Dye."
"Oh my God." Peter's eyes lit up immediately "MJ, you are a genius. That's been on my bucket list forever!"
"Uhh," Bucky interrupted "What's so exciting about changing your hair brown or blond?"
"Why would I dye my hair a boring color?" Peter asked
"Because it's the only options?" Bucky asked, just as confused. The trio looked at each other with smirks. This was the prank opportunity of a lifetime.
"Say," Ned slid over to Bucky with a sly smirk "Does Steve believe those are the only options as well?"
"Uhh, I guess? I mean red exists too."
"Bucky, you won't say a word whenever you see what we do or else I will find you. And I will spoil the ending of that book." MJ threatened with a pointed finger. Bucky gasped in horror before clutching the book to his chest and nodding in understanding.
"Perfect," Peter clapped his hands together with an evil glint in his eye "This will be the perfect prank for our revenge."
What you don't know, is that the week before, Steve was being a menace with Clint. Everywhere they turned they were struck with a prank. Buckets of water, buzzers in handshakes, etc etc. Well the worst one was against Peter.
Steve hacked into Karen while Peter was wearing it. He broadcasted Peter's mirror karaoke hour live to all social media platforms. People from across the globe had heard Spider-Man sing Barbie Girl with the passion of a Broadway actor. Don't even get him started on the fact he was dancing with a vacuum cleaner while doing so.
Peter was horrified. Yet everyone in the tower found it HILARIOUS. Inside jokes were made and photoshopped images of Spider-Man as Ken were trending on Twitter.
Peter wasn't going to let this slide. He told Steve he was going to get him back, which Steve laughed at. All of the Avengers did actually. No one believed that sweet, innocent Peter could do revenge on his heroes.
MJ and Ned told Peter that they would help him get Steve whenever the time was right. No one thought that the kids would do anything that well thought out, if anything at all. They were a bunch of harmless teenagers.
When a week passed, everyone thought Peter gave up on revenge.
That was part of the plan.
MJ told him that if he waited longer, the result would be better. Like wine, revenge was best served after an era of waiting. This allows it to fermented perfectly.
Everyone's guard was down. No one would expect it. It's the recipe for orchestrated disaster.
"We need to recruit Tony." MJ said quickly as she started to furiously scribble down ideas into her sketchbook.
"Do you think he'll listen?" Peter asked tentatively "He found the prank hilarious too. He might not want revenge."
"He will when he sees this." Ned flipped his computer screen around to showcase a video of Tony dancing to "Footloose" in his lab.
"He loves acting extra, he won't care about that."
"Wait for it." Ned said with a smile. Tony slipped on some oil and crashed into his Iron Man poster. The fall was so clumsily done you'd think it was a deer learning how to walk rather than billionaire Tiny Stark. The poster previously mentioned ripped and Tony proceeded to cry out 'No, not my baby! Anything but my baby!'
MJ, Ned, and Peter laughed as Bucky tried to bite his tongue to keep himself from joining them.
"His ego is what we'll use. He wants the world to see him calm, cool and collected. Him falling on his butt like that is a guaranteed viral meme." Ned explained. Peter high-fived him then raised an eyebrow.
"Did you hack into SI to get this footage?"
"I plead the fifth for legal reasons." Ned said, pointing a thumb at Bucky who was still watching.
"Don't worry about me ratting you out, I fear MJ too much to do that."
"That makes me so happy." MJ said, for the first time her expression shifted into a smile. Shivers ran down everyone's spines.
The trio cornered Tony in his lab. Poor man didn't know what was coming to him.
"Hey kiddos!--"
"FRIDAY, GET THE LIGHTS!" Ned shouted as Peter and MJ shoved Tony down to his chair. MJ turned on a lamp and flashed the bright beam into Tony's eyes.
"What the hell--"
"We'll be doing the talking, Mr. Stark." Peter clicked his tongue then pointed a finger at Tony with determination "You know how Steve wanted to make a radiation-powered helmet to help counteract bomb damage? You're going to make it."
"I'm pretty busy with some other projects now-- Oh no you didn't." Tony's jaw dropped as Ned played the audio of him falling and crying about his own merch getting broken.
"I think you'll agree that we have the upper hand. This isn't the only footage we have. Ned has a vault of incriminating evidence against you. Such as... photos of you stealing Natasha's tub of ice cream." MJ enunciated every word with a passion you would see from a lawyer defending their client.
"No, Natasha would literally kill me if she finds out." Tony's eyes glazed over in a flashback from the time Clint was caught stealing Nat's food. Tony slumped and gave in "Fine. But why do you need it? Did Steve set you guys up to do this?"
"No, we're getting revenge." Peter said proudly
"...By getting him what he wants? Kid, I love ya, but that's a pretty bad way of going about revenge. The goal isn't typically to make the person happy."
"We'll blame the radiation of the helmet he begged you to make for the zombie apocalypse." MJ explained.
"Still not following."
"Doesn't matter, just make sure that Steve doesn't know that people can dye their hair unnatural colors. It's imperative he stays oblivious."
"Okay? I'm so confused."
"Good." All three teens said at once and abandoned Tony in a giggling fit. Tony stared and scratched the back of his head.
He didn't know what they were planning, but he felt like Steve should sleep with one eye open.
"Thank you so much for working on this Tony, I think it's going to revolutionize our medical skills during battles." Steve thanked Tony earnestly. He put the helmet on his head and turned the power on. He could feel every ache and pain in his body lessen as it vibrated energy waves through him.
"Eh, don't mention it. It's not like I was busy doing anything that my company depended on for it's survival that has a deadline in a month." Tony smiled passive aggressively. He silently cursed the trio under his breath.
"By the way," Tony gritted this teeth and tried not to sound too scared, considering his reputation was on the line if this didn't work "Pete and his friends want to test it out too."
"Really? I didn't take them for the war weapon kind of geeks. They seem more interested in biological warfare thanks to Peter's spider-bite."
"You never know with these kids." Tony said and turned around to get back to work on something else. He wanted no part in whatever happens next. "They are waiting for you in the training room. Clint is there too, for some reason."
The thing about Clint was that he didn't play on any team but his own. If there was a prank in progress, you could count on him doing it. It didn't matter if it was a baby or the queen of England, he'd play a part in it.
Steve went to the training room as he was told. He wasn't expecting any retaliation pranks now. He wasn't expecting them even when Peter threatened him. This was going just as planned.
"Hello Cap," Clint greeted him normally. Most people assume that Clint isn't good at being subtle. That is a lie. He just chooses when he is. That way no one ever suspects him.
"Hey Clint, what are you doing here with the kids? I thought you'd be busy with your family this weekend."
"And miss the chance to test out new tech? Never!" Clint clasped an arm around Peter's shoulder with a sly smile "I love blowing stuff up."
"Like our last microwave."
"That was one time!"
Clint led Steve into the room, winking at the trio when Steve wasn't looking. They nodded at him in understanding and began their plan.
Steve put the helmets on each of their heads and tested at how well it fought back against mini vibrations that were smaller versions of what you would feel in battle.
Meanwhile Clint was writing down the vitals and statistics of the kids.
One thing though:
He was writing the incorrect ones on purpose.
When the kids left with smiles, Clint ran up to Steve with a look of mock terror.
"Cap, their radiation levels got a bit high." He told Steve and handed him the fake spreadsheet on a tablet. Steve nearly dropped said tablet and started to call after the kids.
"Shh, relax buddy. These levels aren't good per say... but they won't do much damage in the long run. If you tell them with no symptoms they'll worry themselves sick. Placebo effect and all that." Clint assured him. Steve didn't look convinced, but agreed to keep quiet unless they started exhibiting signs of radiation damage.
MJ was having a blast in her room that night as she bleached and dyed everyone's hair. She blasted hr favorite Taylor Swift song in the background and hummed happily as the color started to set in.
"As much as I love this, I hate that it's a seaweed green. I really wanted magenta streaks." Peter told her as she took out some foils on his hair.
"Relax, you'll have plenty more angsty teenage breakdowns that require impromptu hair changes."
"I'd argue with you, but that sounds pretty accurate." Peter admitted
"Alright, your hair is done. Just go rinse it out with some cool water. Tomorrow we strike." MJ said with the voice was adjacent to an evil scientist's. Ned and Peter decided not to mention it. MJ was a force to be reckoned with once she began a plan. Maybe that's why Peter's success rate as Spider-Man suddenly improved.
Even from a distance, MJ could analyze a situation and defuse it with the flick of her wrist.
The next morning they all went to the tower with green hair and used foundation to make their complexions look more pale than usual. MJ even used eyeshadow to give them all the appearance of dark eyebags.
Security stared at them worriedly, but under the rules of Tony, they didn't intervine. If they messed with Tony's kid, they'd never hear the end of it.
Natasha was the first one they saw in the common room. She raised an eyebrow and stared at them over her mug of coffee.
"Don't tell Steve anything about modern hair dye. Make him think we are zombies." MJ ordered. Natasha nodded, looking too bored to ask for details.
"Gaslighting Steve is my favorite activity. I'm in." She said before slipping away into the hallway to her room. To do whatever Black Widow does on a Saturday morning.
Steve and Bucky walked into the common room, laughing about something that happened back in their war days.
They immediately froze when they saw the trio looking like they rose from the grave.
Bucky's eyes widened and you could see his brain click with understanding. He started to open his mouth, but MJ's gaze pointed to the book on the coffee table. He closed his mouth as quickly as he opened it.
"Oh dear god." Steve stared in horror, he ran to the kids "What happened?!"
"I dunno Mr. Rogers," Peter said weakly. His voice shook with a raspy edge lingering on each syllable. You would think the boy was on his deathbed.
Peter weakly took two stomps to Steve, who instinctly backed away. Peter was too quick though, and managed to dig his nails into Steve's shoulders. Ned and MJ stumbled in unison, copying Peter's body language perfectly.
"I'm pretty hungry, Mr. Rogers." Peter said and stared at Steve's ear with intensity "Brains." Peter bellowed out, deep and passionate. MJ and Ned tried to reach out to Steve's ears and Steve shrieked in a high pitch tone before running away for his life.
Bucky had to pretend to be terrified as well, but he was dying from laughter on the inside. Bucky followed Steve as Steve slammed the door to the kitchen and locked it.
"What is going on?!" Bucky asked, surprised that this was actually fun. Maybe he should join Clint on his next pranking spree.
"I had Tony build a radiation powered helmet... and those three tested it out. I think it might have turned them into... zombies." Steve whispered the last word, his face as pale as a sheet.
"Steve, is this a prank? You can't seriously make me think Tony's wacky tech could do something like this." Bucky was thriving. He didn't even need MJ's threat, this was a treat. He rarely got to one-up the 'Super Solider'.
"I swear it's not! Why would I lie about that?!" Steve hissed and he turned at a banging on the kitchen doors. The word 'Brains' was repeatedly groaned out.
Peter punched a hole through the door-- Tony could afford a new one so he didn't care-- and screamed in agony as he reached for Steve.
Steve grabbed Bucky by the hand and ran away, shrieking the whole way.
"FRIDAY! CALL CLINT!" He shouted and put a com in his ear.
"Hello?" Clint asked, he was also faking a rasp to his tone. But Steve was too panicked to notice in that moment.
"Remember the kids vitals? Well now they're zombies!" Steve heard the kids stomping down the halls and clutched Bucky's wrist as he dragged him around the corner to an office room. Pepper's office.
"Steve, Bucky, what on earth--" Pepper asked
"Shhh!" Steve slammed a hand over Pepper's mouth and whispered to Bucky "Lock the door!"
"Zombies, no that can't be possible-- Man, I'm hungry. I'm craving something... something fleshy... something... brains!" Clint screamed into the coms. Steve hung up and threw the com on the ground, promptly smashing it with his foot.
"It got Clint too. Oh god, Bucky, what if it gets me next? Or Tony? We were both exposed!" Steve wrapped his arms around Pepper and sobbed out "Pepper, don't let us become the undead!"
"Are you high? You sound high." Pepper said point-blank and shoved the man-child off of her "Zombies aren't real."
"That's because you didn't see it," Bucky told her "They want Steve's flesh!"
"Oh. That's... interesting." Pepper said with a puzzled expression, clearly not believing them "Well, have fun with that! I have work to do."
"You can't be serious," Steve gawked at her "You would leave me to die?"
"I've done worse. Goodbye." She shrugged and opened the door and pointed out. Steve began to object before slumping down in defeat. He grabbed Bucky and began to run again.
In the halls, Clint fell out of the ceiling vent. He stood up, clad in the green hair and make up, and outstretched his arms to Steve.
"Brains!" he screeched, pairing well with Steve's even louder shriek. Steve turned to run the opposite way, but the trio was there waiting for him.
He grabbed Bucky and yelled "Hold on!" and he scooped Bucky up bridal style before jumping over the trio and diving into the closest elevator.
"C'mon, c'mon," he muttered and pressed the buttons to take him to Tony's lab at least a dozen times befor the doors actually closed. He breathed out a sigh in relief and slumped down to the ground.
"We need a plan ASAP." He told Bucky urgently "We gotta get Tony to make a antidote before they end up actually eating people!"
"Wow, I feel hungry all of a sudden." Bucky mumbled. Steve backed himself further into the wall.
"No, not you too..." but it was useless. Bucky brushed his hair back, revealing a single strand of green (MJ offered to buy him the sequel to his book if he let her dye a streak.)
"Brainssss...." Bucky let his jaw go slack and he lunged at Steve. Steve slink away and dove out the opening door. He saw Tony working on his suit and he lunged at the man for dear life. He enveloped Ton into his arms and screamed incoherent stammerings of what was happening.
"...And I swear that if you help me I'll never insult you again and I'll tell the world how brilliant you are and I'll buy you the best gift for yours and Pepper's wedding --"
At that moment all of the Zombies started marching to him. Steve didn't even know how they got in. Tony just glared at the group for making a mess in his lab. He stared with no emotion as Steve was holding onto him like it would save him.
"BRAINS!" Everyone screamed at once. Steve closed his eyes tight as Peter reached toward him slowly.
And then... laughter. Steve opened one eye and stared in shock at the group laughing at him.
"Brains, you really need one!" Ned commented and everyone started falling apart into hysterical giggles. Steve immediately let go of Tony, who dusted off the touch like it was poison.
"What was that?! Steve demanded, in an extra deep voice as if that would erase his previous screams.
"Revenge." Peter said without missing a beat "And it was live streamed to all social media platforms. Well, until a few seconds ago so no one knows that I'm Spider-Man getting revenge. You're welcome!"
"You've got to be kidding me," Steve was in shock "You're Peter Parker, you never do anything mean!"
"You underestimate me, and them." Peter put his arms around MJ an Ned with a smile"I couldn't have pulled this off without them."
"Ahem!" Clint coughed. Peter rolled his eyes.
"Or Mr. Barton."
"Also," Tony gave him a shit-eating grin "Apparently you are going to treat me like the genius I am now? I would love to have a formal notes-app apology posted on Twitter directed towards me."
"Ugh, fine." Steve muttered.
"See Mr. Stark, it was a good thing you helped us after all! I knew you'd love it!" Peter beamed.
"Kid, I was literally blackmailed to do this."
"Ok, I am officially furious, but I'll get revenge later. I just really need to know something: how you got your hair green. It's driving me crazy!" Steve asked, poking at Peter's tuff of curly green hair.
"I got this," MJ smirked "Captain America, I welcome to you to the world of modern fashion."
"We shall introduce you you to the hair dye chronicles. We begin with changing this dreadful green to magenta, and destroying my roots with bleach for the second time in a week!" Peter beamed and led everyone to the elevator to take them on a field trip to a beauty store.
And thus, a new era had begun. An era that includes Karen's and supervillains, high-school musicals and Avenger karaoke nights, and hair damage. Lots of hair damage.