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It was dark. He couldn't see anything but pure black, the silence deafening, slowly making him panic.
But he couldn't move.
He wanted to scream, perhaps call for help. But he couldn't. He didn't know where he was or what had happened to him, the last thing he remembered was a flash of light blinding his vision before black took over.
Was he dead? Where was everyone?
As time passed, his panic only grew worse. Was he kidnapped? It wouldn't be surprising if he was. But he should've heard anything, even crickets or perhaps the wind. But there was nothing. Just pure silence.
Was this the afterlife? Because if it was, then it sucked. Many people believed that it would be peaceful and the "happiest place any person could ever go to", and he wondered how they would feel once they find out that it was just nothing but pure darkness and silence.
He tried to think about anything he could remember; and so far, his memory was still intact. He remembered basic informations like who he was, where he lived, how his life was like, who was those close to him and whatnot.
Before he could further think about his memories, he heard a voice. Voices? It was a combination of high and deep voices, like the ones in horror movies.
The atmosphere chilled as he listened to the voice.
"Come, my child. Your time here is over. You shall be sent back to your home, your time, to where you truly belong."
He couldn't understand anything despite the being using merely simple words. Where he truly belonged? What did that mean?! Did he not live here? Was he not him all this time?! Or was his entire life merely a dream?
As the being spoke, images flashed through his head as if a movie was playing inside his skull. Images that made no sense and were chaotic, like a series of unrelated dreams mashed together into a single surreal experience.
"I love you," a voice in his head whispered as his head ached.
He felt himself being lifted, his eyes sore from the sudden movement. He wanted to scream, cry, or throw up. Maybe all those things... Until his eyes opened, tears dropping as a blur of a ceiling greeted his sight. He sat up, wiping the tears that kept flowing as he looked around, trying to clear his vision by blinking. Where was he? A room?
He looked down, he was on a fancy king-sized bed in a room that felt strangely familiar, like it was something he's grown up in for all his life. A large window displayed a view of the sun peeking over the horizon, the rays of golden light dancing through his blinds.
"Did I... Die?" He whispered, trying to remember the last thing he's seen before everything turned black, the tears still falling still though not as much as when he woke up. He looked around again, eyes narrowing as he took in his surroundings.
The room was something that looked like a set in a period drama — it had alot of fancy, antique items that were placed on top of shelves, drawers and tables. Landscape paintings were hung on the walls with a golden frame. It looked like a noble's room from the medieval times.
An antique french style silver floor mirror was placed on the corner of the room, reflecting the large king-sized bed along with him. The reflection showed a pretty man with hair that had the same shade of silver, along with beautiful golden eyes that shone like an angel's. He wore a ruffly white shirt, his bottom half covered by the bed sheets, his skin sickly pale as if it hadn't seen the sun in years.
He moved his arm, caressing his face and saw the reflection doing the same. His breath hitched, that wasn't him. The man in the mirror wasn't him. He had dark brown hair and amber eyes, why did the reflection show a completely different man with an odd colored hair of white and golden eyes?!
Panic welled in his chest as he realized, with absolute certainty, that the reflection was that of a different man. That his face, his body, the entire reflection was that of a stranger.
He grabbed his face in his hands, trying to stay calm. He felt tears fall as his throat tightened. He needed to get out of here, he had to find out what happened. This place — a place he hadn't seen or been before — felt like a room filled with forgotten memories he couldn't remember.
What was it? The feeling in his chest he couldn't shake off as he stared at his reflection?
His eyes shifted to the large window, the curtains pulled closed. The sun was at the top of the sky, a brilliant gold that shined bright even through the thick blinds.
He closed his eyes, his shoulders drooping as he let the sun's warmth caress his face.
He heard the door creak open, followed by a sound of breaking glass with a woman's feminine shout. His eyes fluttered open as he turned his head towards the door. There, standing, was a woman with long brown hair and tears glistening in her eyes. Fallen kitchen utensils were infront of her feet, but somehow, it didn't seem like it bothered her. She was looking at him with shock and disbelieving joy painted on her face.
She sprinted towards him, arms outstretched as she flew into his arms. "Th...thank God, you're alright! I was so worried, I —" She pulled out of the embrace as she wiped the tears from her face, "Oh, I was so worried, brother— I have to call Uncle! UNCLE ROGER!" She shouted, and soon after, servants started walking inside the room, all wearing surprised and relieved expressions when they saw him.
"Lady Margarita," one of the servants said, and the woman turned to her, "The Duke is currently at the Emperor's palace." The servant informed Lady Margarita.
"Send a servant to him right away, tell him that brother Ijekiel has awoken!" her voice held a tone of excitement and delight. The servant bowed to her before she proceeded to leave to carry her orders, and the other servants picked up the pieces the woman — he assumed she was called Lady Margarita — dropped.
"Um," He muttered, catching the attention of the lady who was apparently his sister? "I— What happened?"
Lady Margarita's crystal green eyes saddened as it welled with tears, a soft smile in her face as she answered, "You've been asleep for a year now, brother. We missed you so, so much."
His mouth dried as he stared down at his intertwined hands, "...I see." He whispered in a tone that could barely be heard, and Lady Margarita stared at him, as if she was observing him.
She sighed, sitting on the bed with him as she held his hands, "You must be confused, brother. Don't worry, just take your time."
"I don't..." It felt like a frog was stuck in his throat as he forced himself to look at the woman in the eye, "I don't know you." Her eyes widened, and the smile in her face slowly faded as he took his hands from her hold. "I-I don't know where I am, who you are, what this place is, and- and-" He stumbled as he tried to stand up from the bed, feeling weak as if he hadn't moved in a long time, "I don't even know who I am!" His body trembled as his voice shook, his mind trying to make sense of everything.
"Brother..." Lady Margarita's voice cracked as tears fell from her face, "It's okay," she said as she walked towards him, "It's okay, brother." She opened her arms as she embraced him, and he couldn't find the will to pull away. He buried his head in her neck as she whispered soothing words to him, "It's okay..." her voiced cracked again, and he could feel her desperately trying not to sob.
Time passed since then, his father (?) rushed towards his room as soon as he received the message that he's awoken, and he too was as heartbroken as Jennette when he found out about his "memory loss".
Apparently his name was Ijekiel Alpheus, son of Duke Roger Alpheus. He scoffed internally. The whole thing felt like something from a web novel, from a fantasy. He couldn't believe it was real. They didn't tell him more about his life, and instead told him to take his time to remember.
But he couldn't. He wasn't the Ijekiel they knew. He was a different person.
He felt the cold wind brush his skin, and he shivered as he turned to the open window in alert. There, was a man with long raven black hair, entering his room through the window. His heart pounded as he gaped at the man in shock. Before he could process anything more, the man rushed to him and buried him in his arms.
"Ijekiel." The man's deep, strangled voice sent shiver down Ijekiel's spine as he wondered who this man was. "Ijekiel." The man repeated, desperate longing in his voice as he held him tighter. Ijekiel hitched, not knowing what to do. Who was this man? What was he to the real Ijekiel?
The man pulled out of the embrace and it was then that Ijekiel could examine how he looked better in a closer view. The man had long lashes that framed his ruby red eyes that held alot of suffering. Ijekiel wondered what he went through to have such sad eyes.
Without thinking, he cupped the man's face with his hand, caressing his cheek. The man leaned in to his touch, pressing a soft kiss on his palm. Ijekiel froze as he felt the wetness of the man's lips, and he let out a small gasp. The man released a soft chuckle as he lifted his head.
"I missed you." He felt the man quiver, and Ijekiel felt his heart pounding. He was confused, he didn't know how to describe how he felt. He felt... Burdened, in a sense. And it was uncomfortable. He shifted, retrieving his hand from the man.
"Ijekiel?" the man asked, genuinely confused with a hint of pain and disappointment in his voice.
"Who are you?" It came out harsher than Ijekiel intended, and he winced at his own tone.
The man froze, as if registering an information that was hard to swallow. Few seconds passed before he started moving again, dejected, as his eyes met Ijekiel's again, "I'm Lucas."
Lucas. The name sounded familiar. It felt like it was in a distant memory that couldn't be retrieved no matter how fast one runs after it.
"Who..." Ijekiel whispered, reaching his hand out to Lucas's face, "...am I to you? Why do your eyes look at me so? Like I'm a dream that will never come true... Something you wish for but never will be?"
"I'm..." His breath hitched as his ruby red eyes began to glass, He leaned closer to him, and their lips slowly met. Ijekiel couldn't believe how soft his lips felt, and he let out a whimper as the man wrapped his arms around him, kissing him deeply yet softly, as if he was caring for a fragile glass that breaks with even the slightest touch. Ijekiel didn't know how long they stayed like that, his lips mashed against his and their breathing in sync as their tongues danced.
Strange. He couldn't pull away. The sensation of his lips with his felt familiar, almost nostalgic. Like something at the back of his mind that was long forgotten yet haunts him, like a dream that visits him every night he goes to sleep, yet is forgotten once he awakes. He failed to notice the tears that started to fall from his and Lucas's eyes.
They pulled away, and Lucas's breathing was heavy as he looked at Ijekiel, smiling through the tears. "I'm sorry." His voice cracked, "I'm no one." He said as he stood up, walking towards the window he came in from. Ijekiel tried to reach out to him, but before he could even blink, he was already gone.
Ijekiel was left alone in the room, and despite the soft, warm feeling of his lips on his, the only thing he could think of were the tears that fell from his eyes.
-0-0-0-
Lucas miss it all, from his smile, to his scent. The very little moment they were in each other's presence was not enough to satisfy his longing.
He wants to be with him. He wants to stay with him. But the world has turned against them, is he still worthy to even bask in his light? He believes not..
The once prideful magician now reduced to a cowering fool waiting for his beloved's acknowledgment.
How lucky those people he's sharing his laughter with, something that used to be only his.
He can't help his eyes always wandering towards his love, his feet a few meters away from being besides his. He can't help but imagine what his life would've been like, in the company of his beloved.
Perhaps he could bask into his light once more. Perhaps he could hold him in his arms again, and he could feel his warmth, and the wonderful sensation of his lips against his cheek.
Perhaps, in another life.