Work Text:
Here is one of the drawings by Appa yeet yeet that inspired this:
Jinx is a duck
that brings me luck
and Lux is one too
so that makes pew pew
(just my first rhyme in english, I also don’t know)
Dear readers, please imagine the narrator as Sir David Attenborough in case you know his documentaries.
“The Lightcannon duck is known as one of - sometimes even THE - cutest species on our planet.
Their scientific name is ‘Lightcannon Anatidae’.
They can mostly be found living near the Piltover - Zaun strait and near Demacian waters. We can count about three thousand living individuals of this species, therefore they are under the protection of the Vanguard Environment Organization. We wouldn’t want them to go extinct!
Lightcannon ducks are known for their high intelligence, funny behavior, extreme cuteness, deep love for each other - and their helpless threatening. We will show many of these unique characteristics in the upcoming minutes.
Two different sexes exist that do not resemble the sexes of other animals. These are the Jinx Duck and the Lux Duck. You will always find a pair of a Jinx Duck and a Lux Duck running around and quacking happily.
OH MY GOSH THEY ARE SO CUTE I CAN’T HOLD IT BACK CAN YOU SEE THEM HAPPILY BATHING TOGETHER HOLY-
We unfortunately had to stop the recording and I calmed down again and ate some fruit that was in the house.
So, let’s go back to these wonderful, cute little ducks.
The adorable self-cleaning Jinx Duck that is currently on display has all the typical body characteristics that are to be expected from this gender. This is especially evident in the powder blue hair, which is worn in two long braids and a large strand in front of the right eye.
The cute sleeping Lux Duck we are looking at now also has the typical features, which are also shown mainly through the hair - long, open blonde hair held by a hairband. They are often refered to as Dux.
A Lux and Jinx Duck stay together for all their life. They are extremely loyal and have a mad love that never seems to run out. They care for each other and do almost everything together.
One of the problems of the species is that they have a very slow reproduction process. Every pair only raises about five new Jinx Ducks and Lux Ducks in their lifetime, so they take a long time getting children and training them.
Some scientists even claim that they have their own language called ‘Gutlau’. Here you can hear a few samples that support these claims.
The typical sounds of Lightcannon Ducks are different versions of quacking. These different sounds then combined to form this ancient language. They can go: Dux, Rap, Quack, Prääks, Coin, Mac, Vak, kwaak, mak-mak, par-par, kuak-kuak, pnak pnak, па-па , coac-coac, mec-mec, qüec-qüec, 嘎嘎 (gā gā), 呱呱 (guā guā),kva kva,káč káč,rap rap,kwak kwak, kwaak kwaak,quack, prääk prääk, prääks prääks, kvaak kvaak, coin coin, quak quak, κουάκ κουάκ (kuak kuak), gaʕ gaʕ גַּע־גַּע, háp háp, bra bra, bheac bheac, kwek kwek, qua qua, ガーガー (gā gā), қақ-қақ (qaq-qaq), 꽥꽥 (kkwaek kkwaek), pēk pēk, kva kva, ква ква (kva kva), पक पक (pak pak), braaaq caaq, kvakk kvakk, mak-mak, kwa kwa kwa, quá quá, quak quak, mac mac, кря-кря (krja krja), mhàg mhàg, fàg, ràc, квак (kvak), cua cua, kvack kvack, kwak kwak, kua kua, ก้าบ ๆ (kap kap), vak vak, ках ках (kakh kakh), cạp cạp, cwac cwac.
Here you can see some of their more destructive behavior patterns. This alligator tries to eat them, but instead of escaping, they get angry and fight. Unfortunately for them, a Duck isn’t exactly the most powerful animal. As you can see here, they can still annoy the alligator, but it really seems like they are frustrated that they can’t do more. This Jinx Duck for example makes these characteristic “Pow-Pow” sounds while pretending to have a gun.
Stupid, but very funny. AND SO CUTE OH MY-
Anyways, here you can see a pair of Lightcannon Ducks unsuccessfully threatening a CaitVi snake. It is always cute to see them raging, and they can basically escape any situation due to their intelligence - which doesn’t expand to fighting unfortunately. But they defend each other with their lives!
Now we will show a few examples of their mutual love:
-Here you can see a Duck kiss. It’s a rare method of showing love and affection among animals. A Duck kiss is unbelievably cute. It’s common for Lightcannon Ducks though.
-Here you can see a Duck hug. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen something more cute than that. The way they try to embrace each other is just wonderful.
-Here you can see a Duck snuggle. They are really cuddly animals that love to exchange body heat. I would also love to cuddle with them! JUST LOOK AT THEM! THEY-
-Here you can see a Jinxing. It is the typical beginning of the reproduction process for this type of animal. A Jinx Duck climbs on top of a Lux Duck and annoys her. If the Lux Duck isn’t annoyed, the real process can begin. We can’t show that here unfortunately. It’s wild and cute, I promise!
Now you can see the typical base of Lightcannon Ducks. They somehow like to build non-functioning fans inside their lairs. We don’t know why, but it is surely adorable to watch them building it!
Another important fact about these sweet ducks is their origin. The legend of the Hextech says that there were once humans with similar hair to theirs walking around Runeterra. Lux and Jinx, a mage and a terrorist. They fell in love and brought hell to those in their way. After many years of fighting, they settled down and experimented with magic and Hextech, creating the Lightcannon Anatidae and other species in the process. We don’t know if this story is true, but it is a valid explanation for certain objects found in the ruins of the second and last rune wars.
Here, take some last footage of these extremely cute ducks!
Thank you for watching or reading this documentary! We would be glad to welcome you back with the next Lightcannon species!”