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Chapter Text

“That movie was amazing!” April gushes as she leads me and Casey out of the theatre. My lips twitch into a weak version of my smile as she continues on about the realistic family dynamics and just how good the songs are. “I’m gonna download the entire album the moment we get back. ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ was so well written! I could listen to it all day!”

Casey groans.

“Babe, please don’t.”

I pull my hat down a little more when we pass a large group of people heading into the theatre. I barely register them as I follow Casey and April closely, my mind racing as images of the movie flash through my mind.

April’s right. Encanto was amazing and I fully enjoyed it. But, the entire time I was watching, there was something eating away at me. When Luisa came on and started to sing ‘Surface Pressure’, I just couldn’t shake the image of my brothers standing in her place. And during Isabela’s song, ‘What Else Can I Do’ all I could see was Leo standing there.

My heart aches and my chest feels hollow and empty at just the THOUGHT of how much my brothers hold on their shoulders and why it took a SONG from a MOVIE to get me to really think about how my brothers must feel about their roles in our family.

My fingers fiddle with the hem of my sleeve as we exit the building and head for April’s van. What if my brothers feel the exact same way Luisa feels? That the pressure is slowly pressing them down, crushing them inside out.

“Mikey?”

Jumping, I lift my head and stare at Casey and April, both of whom are staring at me, holding the doors of the van open.

“Ya comin’, squirt?” Casey asks, icy blue eyes scanning me. “Leo’ll kill me if we leave ya here.”

Laughing nervously, I scramble into the backseat and buckle in.

“O-Oh, sorry, was just…thinking…”

“Mikey? Thinkin’? Since when?” Casey laughs before April smacks him over the head with her hat. “Ow! Babe!”

April glares at the taller male before turning toward me as she starts the vehicle. Concerned green eyes study me.

“Everything okay, sweetie? Did you like the movie?” Her lips twitch into a small smile. “I know it wasn’t a horror or action movie, but I thought Don said you liked Disney movies.”

My eyes widen and I quickly flash a smile.

“Of course! I love Disney! The movie was amazing! Honest,” I add when April raises an eyebrow at me. “I was…just…thinking about the songs! And how nice it was that the family made up in the end, ya know? And the fact that there wasn’t an actual villain in this movie. It was refreshing, ya know?”

April squints at me for a moment before her face relaxes and turns to back the van out of the parking lot. I relax into the seat, thankful when April resumes her praise of the movie. It really was a great movie, but I just can’t…

It’s pressure like a drip, drip, drip…

Leo.

Who’s always having to come up with plans that ensure not only our safety but success on missions.

That’ll never stop whoa…

Raph.

Who’s always the first to throw himself between us and the enemy so that we can remain safe.

Pressure that’ll tip, tip, tip…

Donnie.

Who’s always there, patching us up and making sure that we’re always at a hundred percent health.

‘Til you just go pop, whoa…

Me.

Who just goofs around, adding onto the pressure that I know all of my brothers feel.

My throat tightens and I quickly dismiss that train of thought, staring out the window. Resting my chin in my hand, I watch as cars zip by us, not quite inside the city where traffic is almost always at a standstill.

Do my brothers even realize that they’re taking all of this on?

Give it to your sister, it doesn’t hurt…

Have any of us actually gone out of our way to make each other’s lives easier?

And see if she can handle every family burden…

I bite my lip.

No. I don’t think we actually have. Leo is constantly training. Raph is always angry. Donnie is always working in his lab.

And because of that, Leo had to grow up too fast, Raph tries to hide his true emotions behind a mask, and Donnie is co-dependent on caffeine and a nervous wreck.

“Isn’t that right, Mikey?”

Panic surges through me as April calls out. My eyes snap to the rear-view mirror to find her smiling at me. Instantly, I grin back and nod my head.

“Totally, April.”

Casey groans from in front of me.

“No way. Obviously, Luisa had da best power outta everyone. She picked up a whole CHURCH!” Casey sighs dreamily. “Could ya imagine how many Purple Dragon punks asses I could kick with a power like hers?”

April snorts.

“You’re already a bull in a China shop, Casey Jones. We don’t need to add super strength on top of that. Besides, Mikey agrees with me that Bruno and Antonio had that best powers in the movie.”

My lips twitch as I sit back.

“I really liked Bruno’s powers and how when he saw Mirabel’s future, it was shifting, meaning that it wasn’t set in stone like it seemed with everyone else. And I do wish that we could have seen more of Antonio using his in the village like the rest of his family,” I add, tugging on my sleeve. “But I also really liked that Mirabel didn’t HAVE a power. That she was the only one that didn’t have to rely on a gift to get things done and then not know what to do when the gifts vanished.”

April’s eyes sparkle as she glances back at me, a grin on her face.

“Actually, Mirabel reminded me a lot of you, Mikey.”

My heart leaps into my throat as my eyes widen a fraction.

Me? Like Mirabel? What does that mean?

“R-Really?” I try to keep my grin in place. “And why’s that?”

April smirks.

“Well, she—”

VRR. VRR. VRR. VRR.

Wincing, I shoot the redhead an apologetic look as I frantically fish out my ShellCell. Leo’s name flashes across the screen and a strange pit forms in my gut. Not exactly dread but more a mixture of nervousness and uncertainty. There should be no reason for Leo to be calling me right now. We don’t have any patrol tonight and supper isn’t for another hour. Breathing out slowly, I tap the answer button before pressing the phone to my cheek.

“Hey, Leo,” I chirp, keeping my tone light and airy. “What’s up, bro?”

“Michelangelo,” Leo’s voice comes out tense and short, killing my attempt at keeping the mood cheerful. “Where the shell are you? Donnie said that you’re not in the sewers! Do you have any idea what time it is?”

A frown tugs on my lips as I lean over to glance at the clock on the dashboard.

“Uh, it’s like 4:26, Leo. I promised I would be home before supper. Are you guys already hungry?”

An annoyed huff escapes my eldest brother making my eye ridges furrow. Why is he so mad right now? I haven’t even done anything!

“Michelangelo,” Leo says slowly, his ‘leader-tone’ creeping in. “Where the shell are you? Do NOT make me ask you again.”

I blink at my brother’s voice and even pull the phone back to stare at it as if it would show me an image of my brother and explain his pissy attitude.

“Michelangelo.”

Swallowing at my brother’s growl, I pull at my seatbelt.

“I’m with April and Casey, Leo. Remember?” I state, my stomach sinking as I can just feel Leo’s eyes narrowing. “They invited us to the movies? And I was the only one who wanted to go?” I purse my lips at my brother’s silence. “Sensei said I could.”

“…” Leo takes a measured breath. “Did he now?”

Irritation spikes in me as April and Casey throw me looks.

“Yes, Leo, he did,” I state, not bothering to hide my exasperated tone. “Go and ask him. And, if any of you would have bothered to check, I left a note on the table saying where I was. Like Sensei asked me to.”

Silence.

“I was just in the kitchen,” Leo says, his voice low and slow. “There was no note on the table.”

Confusion swirls in me as I sit up straighter.

“What do you mean there was no note on the table, bro? Sensei literally handed me the piece of paper and watched me write the note.”

Suddenly a second, faint voice filters in behind Leo. I can just vaguely make out the voice to be Raph’s. I’m kinda surprised that he’s even talking to Leo right now. He was not in the best mood when I left for the movie theatre and he’s been trying not to fight with Leo as much, so he was avoiding him like the plague.

Leo growls.

“Seriously? And you didn’t think that I might need to KNOW that information, Raph?” Leo snaps and I hear an angry Raph retort in the background. “You KNEW that I was looking for him! So, obviously, I didn’t see his note!”

I wince when a very loud Raph sound sings through the phone. Leo snarls something else causing me to worry my bottom lip. I really don’t want the two of them to start fighting again, but, I guess, today is just a bad day for them both.

Leo sighs heavily through his nose and I can just imagine him pinching the space between his eyes.

“Leo?” I call out softly.

“How far away are you, Mikey?”

“Uh…”

I glance up at April, repeating Leo’s question.

“We’re about five minutes from the garage,” she answers, offering me a reassuring smile.

Repeating her words back to Leo, my eldest brother sighs again. Guilt fills my chest at the sound.

“Just get here as soon as you can. No detours.”

Chuckling nervously, I give a mock salute even though he can’t see it.

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“Chucklehead,” Leo says, his voice far calmer than at the beginning of the call. When the line goes dead, I collapse back in my seat, running a hand down my face.

“What was DAT all about?” Casey asks, staring at me with wide icy blue eyes. “Dat seemed pretty intense even fer Leo.”

Pouting, I shrug.

“I…I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “He knew that you guys asked about going to the movies and I could have sworn that he heard me say that I wanted to go. But maybe he forgot?” I wince at that thought just as April gives me a disbelieving look. “Yeah, I guess that doesn’t sound like Leo at all, does it? I don’t know. Sensei was chill with me coming. I mean, we’re nearly 20 now, I really shouldn’t have to ask to leave the lair.” I cross my arms, staring out the window as April pulls into an alleyway that leads not only to her own garage but our warehouse garage.

Putting the van into park, April smiles reassuringly at me as she reaches back and pats my knee.

“I’m sure he has a reason for being so worried, Mikey.”

I try to return her smile but I know that it’s pale in comparison to what my normal smiles look like. I start to rub the back of my head only to flinch as a sharp pain shoots down from the spot straight through my spine. Quickly, I drop my hand and tug on my sleeve.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s just having a bad day. Like Raph. Things were pretty tense during training this morning but I thought it was just because we were out so late last night.” Shrugging my shoulders, I force a wider smile. “Oh, well. I better get going before Leo decides that he needs to come get me. Thanks for the movie, April! Casey! Have a great night!”

Casey and April lift a hand as I exit the van but I don’t wait to hear if they say anything as I close the door behind me, taking off down the alleyway. Once I know that I’m out of sight from the van, I slow my pace. The garage is already in view and I can’t help but slow my pace even more, eyeing the building warily.

Maybe this is Leo’s eye twitch? Like Luisa? When she started losing her powers, she got super stressed and even yelled at Mirabel briefly. Is Leo reaching his limit? Is Raph? They were both so uptight last night, hardly saying anything when we got home from patrol. And it’s not like patrol was even all that bad last night, just a little unexpected.

I wince and worry my bottom lip.

We were fighting a bunch of Purple Dragons when Hun decided to make an appearance. Which, I mean, makes sense. He IS the leader of the Purple Dragons. But, like, we’ve fought that guy so many times that he’s no longer that scary to fight. Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t pack a mean punch when he does manage to land a hit.

I wince, the back of my head aching slightly at the reminder of last night.

Honestly, we were doing just fine, even with Hun stepping in. All of us were a step ahead of those goons and I know that Raph was having a blast, beating the skulls of those thugs in. But, I’m not entirely sure what happened. I was actually paying attention during the fight for once. Well, kinda. I was still taunting like usual but I was trying to get rid of as many Dragons as possible. It may or may not have been because there was a marathon of horror movies that I wanted to catch last night and the sooner we dealt with those goons, the sooner Leo would call the night and we could go home. And I really, REALLY wanted to at least get a few movies in before I went to bed for training in the morning. So, yeah, I was being methodical about how I was taking those Dragons down but somehow, one managed to slip pass one of us, sneaking up on Raph and I was the only one who noticed. I’m not even sure where that goon came from. But, it didn’t and doesn’t matter. My body moved before I could even think and jumped between him and Raph’s backside. I managed to catch his pipe before he could hit Raph but he still somehow managed to kick me to the side. Luckily, my shout alerted Raph to the Dragon and he dealt with him. Unluckily, that jerk kicked me right over to Hun, who I swear was waiting for me because he just wound up and back handed me across the entire alleyway. Sending me into the wall. HARD. My head tagged the bricks too, causing my vision to blacken and my ears to ring.

My lips purse as I gingerly reach up, touching the spot through my hat, wincing as I feel the stitches.

The bricks managed to cut the skin on the back of my head causing blood to go everywhere. But that didn’t stop me. Felt really gross to have blood dripping down inside my shell though. And it sure pissed my bros off. I just tried to ignore the flow of warmth as I continued to take out Dragons the moment my vision came back. My hearing took a little longer and my balance was kinda crap for a few seconds too long, but hey, we took the Dragons down. Which is all that matters. And it was enough to get Hun to back off and do his usual threats of being back. Sure, we weren’t really EXPECTING to be fighting Hun and his Purple Dragons, seeing as we were only supposed to be doing intel on some robberies nearby but those Dragons were trying to rob a group of kids and we couldn’t just let that happen.

And we beat them, so it shouldn’t matter.

But, like, nothing that happened last night was anyone’s fault. How would Leo know that Hun would join the fight? How would Raph know that a random Dragon would try sneaking up on him? How would Donnie know that one of us would need stitches?

My shoulders hunch up to my head as I slip inside the garage. Why do they try to take so much onto themselves? It’s not like the entire world will crumble if the three of them decide to take the day off.

I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service…

My hand hovers over the elevator button.

Is that how they feel? That if they aren’t doing something to help the family that they’re worthless? Because they’re not! Leo shouldn’t have to train all the time. Raph shouldn’t have to feel like that he needs to constantly shield us. Donnie shouldn’t have to be the only one worrying about the welfare of the family.

But what can I do?

I’m not smart like Donnie. I don’t understand his science stuff. I’m not disciplined like Leo is. I freeze when I have to make decisions. I’m not tough like Raph. I am always the first to get knocked down.

My fingers press against the button, calling the elevator up as my mind races. There has to be something that I can do for my brothers to let them know that I’m here. Let them know that they don’t have to face all of this by themselves.

But how?

I’m just Mikey. Goofy, loud-mouth, obnoxious, annoying Mikey. Would they even trust me enough to let me help them?

I stare down at my hands as I step inside the elevator as it appears. My head shakes.

“No, they wouldn’t trust me,” I say aloud. “Because I’m Mikey and I’ll mess it up somehow.”

Jaw clenching as a familiar and irritating heat builds behind my eyes, I breathe out slowly through my nose to regain my composure as the elevator slows and the doors slide open. My eyes instantly land on Raph in the TV pit, remote in hand and feet on the coffee table. Stepping further out, I spot Donnie in his usual corner with his computer out, a coffee in hand as he types away with the other. My eyes narrow as I continue to scan the lair for my other brother but come up empty-handed.

“He’s in with Master Splinter.”

I jump and glance up only to find Donnie staring at me from across the lair. My lips twitch as he smiles at me before he resumes what he’s doing. That’s when I notice the slight slump in my immediate older brother’s shoulders and just how tired his face looks staring at the screen in front of him.

Instead we measure this growing pressure…

My gaze glides back to Raph, my hotheaded brother having yet to acknowledge my existence. My eyes narrow. On the surface, he looks quite relaxed, merely watching his wrestling show. But I can see the tension in his shoulders. The way that his foot twitches on the coffee table. The way that his fingers scratch at the fabric of the couch. If Raph was truly relaxed, he’d be sitting forward, yelling at the TV, fists pumping whenever the wrestler that he’s rooting for lands a good hit.

“Done starin’?” a gruff voice asks.

Squeaking, heat spreads across my face as Raph turns to glare at me, eyes flashing in the artificial light that Donnie set up for us. He lifts an eye ridge at me and that’s when I realize that I’m taking too long in answering.

“Pff, you wish I was staring,” I state, blowing a raspberry at him causing him to scoff and roll his eyes. “I was merely thinking about just how thick your skull has to be to take all those bats without so much as a bruise.”

An amused snort escapes my immediate older brother as he sips his drink as he stands.

“They might not leave a bruise, but I wouldn’t say that they don’t harm him. I mean, the body only has so many brain cells,” Donnie states, a sly look on his face as he shoots a glance at our hotheaded brother. A surprised laugh escapes me as Raph spins to stare at Don, a look of surprise on his face before morphing into a snarl.

“Wanna repeat dat, genius?” Raph suddenly growls, slowly standing from the couch. Donnie turns toward him, face innocent as our muscular brother stalks toward him. Donnie quickens his pace toward the kitchen, mug in hand but I can see the sparkle in his hazel eyes.

“If you couldn’t hear what I said, Raphie, then you just proved my point,” Donnie states and I can see the manic grin on his face as he suddenly breaks into a run as Raph rushes after him. Leo, of course, just steps out of the dojo in time to watch as Raph chases after Donnie. Confusion flashes across our big brother’s face as he looks at me.

“Did I miss something?”

Grinning, I shrug, a wave a pride washing over me.

“Don’t know, dude. But Donnie-boy? Just pulled a me!”

Leo merely raises an eye ridge as Donnie vaults by on his bo staff, laughing as a raging Raph charges behind. After a moment of staring, Leo shakes his head and motions for me to follow him toward the kitchen. My good mood dampens as I follow my big brother, fingers returning to fiddle with my sleeve as we cross the threshold into one of my few safe havens. My eyes land on the fridge before skirting over to the stove and the small digital clock on it.

I should probably start supper after this. I’m sure at least Raph and Leo are hungry.

“Focus, Mikey.”

Jumping, a sheepish smile spreads across my lips as I look back at Leo. His arms are crossed and his honey brown eyes are watching me, his lips in a slight frown. Laughing, I rub the back of my neck.

“Oops. Sorry, Leo. Was just thinking of when to start supper. Was there something you wanted?”

Leo’s eyes narrow for a second before relaxing and an almost smile ghosts his lips.

“It’s fine, Mikey. I merely wanted to apologize for jumping on you about not being in the lair.” An uncomfortable expression crosses my eldest brother and he almost starts shuffling like he used to when we were little and he got caught doing something naughty. “I shouldn’t have jumped on you like that and should have instead asked the others about where you went. I’m sorry.”

My eye ridges shoot up as I stare, wide eyed at Leo. He’s apologizing? Suspicion fills me as I eye my brother warily. That is, until I remember where he was right before we came in here. A slow grin spreads across my face.

“Sensei scolded you, didn’t he?” I ask, snickering as red tinges my brother’s cheeks. “He did! I can’t believe it!”

Leo glares at me as I laugh, not even bothering to hide my amusement. Brown eyes narrow behind a blue mask and he squares his shoulders.

“I make mistakes too, ya know,” Leo growls. “I’m not perfect, Mikey.”

My laughter dies instantly at his words, my earlier thoughts rushing back to me. Only, this time, instead of Luisa’s song filling my mind, it’s Isabela’s song. A sad ping twinges my heart as I stare at Leo. My blue-cladded brother stares back, his frown more pronounced.

“Mikey?”

My brother’s eye ridges are furrowed, probably due to my sudden mood change. Realizing that I’m worrying him, I plaster on a smile and saddle up beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to the best of my ability. Why did I get stuck with the short genes?

“Don’t worry, Leo,” I chirp, beaming up at him. “We don’t expect you to be. Doesn’t mean we won’t make fun of you for it. It’s what brothers do. Especially when it’s finally not ME getting scolded by Sensei. It’s refreshing, ya know?”

I pat Leo on the shoulder, my brother’s mouth falling open with a baffled look on his face. I keep eye contact long enough to let him know that I am serious (about which parts, Leo is gonna have to figure that out on his own), then, after a beat, I drop my hand and head for the doorway.

“Besides, apology accepted, dude,” I state, waving a dismissive hand over my shoulder when Leo starts to speak. “I wasn’t even mad, bro. I should have made sure you knew outside of the note, anyways.” I flash him a grin. “So, next time, I’ll send out a text, too. Or something. Just to be sure.”

Leo blinks at me, his arms falling to his sides as I pause in the threshold. Uncertainty flashes across his face before vanishing as my big brother nods stiffly.

I hide my nerves, and it worsens…

“Yes, that…is acceptable.” Leo’s shoulders relax minutely. “Thank you, Mikey.”

I worry something is gonna hurt us…

Flashing my eldest brother a wink, I give him a thumbs up and walk on.

“No prob, dude. Now, get out of my kitchen before you start the toaster on fire. I can’t cook if there’s smoke everywhere.”

“That was one time!”

“Only takes one time ~,” I sing out, shrugging off my jacket and stuffing my scarf and hat into its sleeves. Leo grumbles and I see him exit the kitchen and head for the TV pit, swiping the remote and changing one of the TVs from wrestling to the news. My eyes narrow as a burning building appears on the screen. Scowling, I hang my jacket up before shimmying out of my pants and shoes.

There’s gotta be something I can do to get Leo to relax. He shouldn’t have to constantly be watching the news or worrying about our safety when he’s not with us.

If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations…

Do any of my brothers have a source of relaxation that doesn’t mean they have to work themselves up? Something that just allows them to kick back and enjoy the moment?

Would that free some room up for joy, or relaxation, or simple pleasure?

My snout wrinkles as I reenter the kitchen, washing my hands as I wrack my brain.

I know Leo enjoys reading, especially anything about Samurais or Japan in general. Usually he gets them in Kanji as well. But when was the last time I actually saw him sit down and just read? My eye ridges furrow as I wrack my brain. Nothing comes to mind. Since he returned from South America all I have seen him do during his downtime is either meditate or train. Which tells me that was all he did while in South America when he wasn’t running through the trees or helping villages.

My frown deepens as I pull out the needed pots and pans for spaghetti.

Raph usually watches wrestling to relax but I’ve noticed that he hasn’t been able to get into it as he usually does. I think there’s been more reruns on lately, so maybe that’s why? I know that he’s missed out on a lot while Leo was gone and he was off being the Nightwatcher. He tends to lean more toward WWE but I think the new episodes only come out on Sundays or Mondays and he’s usually out bashing heads with Casey those nights.

I bite the inside of my cheek as I grab the noodles, sauce, and meat.

Donnie, like Leo, tends to read when he wants to kick back but I know for a fact he hasn’t actually sat down to read something in a really long time. When Leo left, Donnie was appointed temporary leader and then he took on a job on top of that. Then Leo came home and Donnie resumed working on his almost forgotten projects, which, I guess helps him relax. But they also tend to make him lose sleep, which isn’t good and not something that helps you relax.

But what can I do to help them chill? Donnie just helped Raph temporarily by teasing him, which is what I usually do. But I don’t think that will be enough. And what if we are all off doing our own things? I mean, the farmhouse is like the only place that my brothers ever truly gain any R&R even without some sort of help.

My hand hovers over the boiling water, spaghetti noodles still in hand. My eyes widen as a lightbulb explodes in my head.

That’s it! The farmhouse! Maybe I can try to see if Casey will let us go up there for a week or something. Just some time away from our daily routines and allow my brothers to shed some of their burdens for a little while. And then while we’re there, I can figure out how to take on some of my brothers’ burdens. If I try to do so here with them all tense, I’ll just be rejected. But my brothers are almost always more receptive to me when they’re relaxed.

A grin spreads across my lips as I finally drop the noodles into the bubbling water.

I’ll talk to Sensei after supper and then I can call Casey if Sensei agrees. Shell, Sensei can come with us too! It’s been a long time since we’ve done something as a family. When we were in the future with Cody, he and Serling always made a point of taking us on a family outing. And I miss it. I miss being able to go out and walk the streets or just run to the convenience store whenever I wanted and I’m pretty sure my brothers do as well. And I think the lack of sunlight is really eating at everyone.

I stir the sauce as it starts to bubble, eyes narrowing as another thought hits me. If we’re going to the farmhouse to relax, then I really want my brothers to relax. But how? If we just go now, I know that they’re gonna do what they always do up there.

Meditate. Punch things. Build stuff.

I drum my fingers on the counter as the meat simmers in front of me. Biting my lip, I tug my ShellCell out and open my PayPal account that April helped me set up for the artwork commissions that I do now instead of Cowabunga Carl. My eyes land on the dollar amount and my fingers flex.

$500.

Is that all I have?

I wince. Oh yeah. I helped pay for the new engine for Raph’s bike after some Purple Dragons shot his last one.

I bite my lip.

I was hoping to save the rest of my money to get myself a new drawing tablet since my old one is glitching, but this is important. A $400 tablet will still be there and I can always start saving all over again. And it’s not like my drawing tablet is BAD. The screen is just going a little. But it can handle a few more commissions before being replaced. Besides, Donnie worked really hard on fixing that tablet for me, I can’t just replace it.

Stirring the sauce again, I pull up the notepad on my phone.

I have enough to get Leo a few new Samurai books from his favorite authors. And I know that the latest season of WWE just dropped and I can get Raph a portable DVD player with a screen so that he doesn’t have to worry about not having the TV. I vaguely remember hearing April and Donnie talking about some new textbooks about cybernetics that both were daydreaming about. And Sensei missed out on a few earlier episodes of his soaps, so I can get him a portable DVD player as well.

I mentally tally everything as I strain the water out of noodles, hissing as the steam burns at my face.

Papa and Raph need good, durable portable DVD players, and those run close to a hundred bucks a piece, so there’s $200s there. Add the season boxes, which are usually $50 a piece, so there’s another $100. And textbooks tend to range between $45 to $60 give or take. So there is about $360 there and Leo’s novels are about $20 bucks a pop, so if I get him 3, that’s about $60. Which gives me about $420 to play with and that leaves me $80 for tax and shipping. And with me having already added money to our family fund, which almost all my Cowabunga Carl money went to, I don’t have to worry about that.

Smiling, I dump the meat into the sauce and stir it. Backing out of my notepad, I open my shopping app and quickly place the orders for everything. Scanning my cart, I start humming as I hit the check out button.

$423.86.

Not bad. And with express shipping, it should all be here by tomorrow morning. Or, well, at April’s by tomorrow morning and I'll run and grab it after training tomorrow.

Giggling, I rewash my hands and set out the plates before adding the sauce to the noodles. Humming, I place the pot of spaghetti in the center of the table just as Leo, Donnie, and Raph enter the kitchen. I smile at them.

“Good timing, dudes! Just finished the spaghetti. I just gotta grab the buns and butter and some cheese.”

“Smells great, Mikey,” Donnie says, smiling at me as everyone slides into their usual spots. I continue smiling as I gather the buns, placing them into our little bread basket that Sensei found years ago.

A sense of contentment washes over me as my brothers make small talk behind me, waiting for me and Sensei before plating their food. The warmth of love spreads across my chest as Raph suddenly laughs at a joke that Leo said, releasing that weird snort that he does when he’s truly amused, causing Don and Leo to start laughing as well. Turning with the basket in my hands, I watch the scene for a moment. My heart swells when Raph grins and slaps Leo on the shoulder before shoving at Donnie, who shoves back.

I love these guys more than anything in the world. Why did it take an animated movie for me to truly think about them and their needs? Why did it take me so long to realize just how selfish I’ve been toward them?

“Mikey? Is something wrong?”

I jump when Donnie’s voice cuts through my thoughts. Glancing at him, embarrassment eats at me when I realize that ALL of my brothers are staring at me. Clearing my throat, I smile and place the buns in front of Raph, who I know will eat the most of them.

“Yeah, dude. I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

I retreat from the table, heading for the fridge as my brothers exchange a glance between them. My neck prickles as Raph glares at the back of my head.

“Maybe it was ‘cause you were just standing dere, staring at us? With a weird look on yer face?”

My lips twitch at Raph’s words as I grab the shredded cheese for Sensei and the parmesan cheese for the rest of us. My fingers flex as I turn, staring at my brothers as each of them study me. Tilting my head, I walk up to the table and place the cheese down.

“The three of you know that I love you, right?” I blurt out as I note that I didn’t grab glasses for drinks.

Silence follows my question as I move about the kitchen, swiftly turning the kettle on and grabbing a mug for Sensei and Leo before grabbing three glasses for the rest of us. My heart pounds in my chest as I try to keep my movements casual and calm under my brothers’ hard and searching stare.

“Of course we do, Mikey,” Don says, voice wary as he finally breaks the heavy silence just as I pull the milk from the fridge, mentally noting that we need to get more. “Why do you ask?”

Shrugging, I pour three glasses of milk and place one in front of Don, Raph, and my empty seat. I place the jug of milk next to Raph because I know he’ll have another 2 glasses before we finish eating. I start for the kettle when Raph catches my wrist, frowning as he peers up at me suspiciously.

“Seriously, Mike. Why do ya ask?”

Pausing, I contemplate on how to answer Raph.

I don’t want to worry them or make them self-conscious about themselves with my answer. Breathing in deeply, I turn and look at Raph. His jaw is set and his amber eyes are blazing as he waits for me to answer. His fingers flex on my wrist, grip tight but not crushing. Reaching down, I gently tug until Raph loosens his grip and I pat his hand, smiling.

“No reason, dude. Really.” I shrug one shoulder. “Just making sure you guys know. That I do. Love you that is.”

Raph’s eye ridges furrow as I place his hand onto the table. I barely make it a step when it’s Leo this time catching my arm. Concern radiates off my eldest brother as he looks up at me.

“Mikey, if there’s some—”

WHOO!

“Oops!” I say, tugging free of Leo’s grasp as the kettle cuts him off. I mentally wipe my brow as I pull out our little tea box and place it on the counter.

Geez. You’d think that I just committed murder or something with how my bros are reacting to me just saying that I love them. Scrunching my nose, I swiftly prepare his and Sensei’s tea. I just finished adding honey to Master Splinter’s tea and a little to Leo’s when the sound of a walking stick clicking enters the kitchen.

“Good evening, my sons,” Master Splinter greets as he takes his place at the head of the table. “Dinner smells delicious, Michelangelo.”

I flash him a grin as I place his and Leo’s drinks down.

“Thanks, Sensei. Better dig in while it’s still warm!” I state, plopping down next to Donnie.

“Itadakimasu!”

I quickly shovel some of the spaghetti into my mouth when I see Leo glance at me. He frowns when we make eye contact, wheels turning in his head. I smile around my spaghetti which earns me a fond eye roll. A hand taps on my forearm and I turn toward Donnie, eyes wide in question as I chew. Donnie smiles fondly at me.

“I almost forgot to tell you, I finished working on your drawing tablet.” His smile slips a little, regret forming on his face and my stomach sinks. “Sadly, there isn’t much I could do for the screen. The tech is just too worn down.” My heart squeezes as Donnie’s hazel eyes sadden. “But I cleaned it the best I could and it should last you a little bit longer until you order your new one.” A gleam of excitement returns as Don bumps me. “You said that the one you really want is finally back in-stock after six months of waiting, right? This would be a perfect time to get it!”

Swallowing my mouth full, I fight down weird butterflies as I grin at Donnie. My tall, considerate, always ready to help big brother. I didn’t realize he was actually listening to me when I ranted at him a few weeks back when my screen glitched in the middle of a project and deleted half of my work. He was in the middle of welding something so I just assumed that he didn’t hear half of what I said.

Guess I was wrong.

Laughing, I reach for my milk.

“Uh, yeah. But thanks for fixing my old one, Don! I’m hoping to get a little more use out of her for my next few projects so that I don’t have to try and learn a new system while drawing for someone.”

Don smiles as he eats.

“Well, she should last a little while now that I’ve cleaned her. But I wouldn’t wait too long if that tablet you want is as popular as you say it is. Might have to wait another six months before you’ll get a chance to order if you do.”

My grin strains a little at Donnie’s joke, nodding along as a strange feeling of guilt hits me but I shove it down. No. My brothers haven’t gotten something new in a long time and they’re always finding me stuff that I like. I can sacrifice this little bit. It’s not like I NEED to be making money. Donnie made more than enough while working as an IT worker, but I really like being able to give April or Casey money for fresh food so that we’re not mooching off of them. And I love getting Klunk special treats or giving Sensei a new meditation cushion. Things we never got to have when we were younger.

And my brothers do so much for us that this is the least I can do for them to let them know that I appreciate them even if I don’t say it out loud all the time.

The rest of supper goes by rather quietly, which I know is my fault. My brothers are shooting me looks the entire time, seeing as I’m usually the one filling the space with chatter. But tonight? I just can’t bring myself to do it. Sure, I’d engage in the conversation whenever I’m addressed but my thoughts just keep wondering. Thoughts of Encanto, the farmhouse, my brothers, and the gifts occupy my mind. Even Sensei noticed my unusual lack of commentary and going so far as to ask how the movies went. That was harder to work through. I just have so many feelings about that movie and I’m still trying to work through them that I’m sure my responses sounded as stilted as they felt to me.

My shoulders nearly sag as I place my plate into the sink, eyeing all the dishes that I need to wash. Supper feels like a disaster.

A warm hand lands on my shoulder, turning me slightly and I stare up at Sensei, his warm dark chocolate eyes staring down at me.

“Your brothers can take care of the dishes, my son. I would like to speak with you briefly.”

My eyes widen as Sensei gestures for my brothers to come forward. Donnie smiles at me while Raph grumbles and Leo grabs two dishtowels. My stomach twists as Master Splinter nods toward the door. My eye ridges furrow as I walk, trying to remain calm as Sensei walks beside me, placing his hand on my shell as we head for the dojo.

Did I do something wrong? I thought I was pretty well-behaved during supper! I didn’t even make Raph angry or burp or speak with my mouth full or anything! Was the cheese bad? Did I cook the noodles too long? Maybe the spices I added to the sauce were too strong?

I pale.

Maybe I made his tea wrong? I didn’t let it seep long enough, did I? I should have waited another minute.

"Michelangelo.”

Twitching, I blink and realize that Master Splinter and I are now standing in the center of the dojo. Facing my father, I offer him a nervous smile.

“Y-Yes, Sensei?”

Master Splinter stares down at me, his eyes studying me as I fight not to squirm under his gaze. His hands rest on top of his emerald walking stick and his ears shift toward me.

“Is there something bothering you, my son?” Sensei strokes his beard as my stomach swoops. “You seemed quite distracted during supper, my child.”

Wincing, I fiddle with the tails of my mask, twirling the fabric between my fingers. I lift my head and I can’t help but see the scene of Abuela falling to her knees as her love is murdered in front of her as I stare at my father.

Sensei has gone through so much trauma and has had to be so strong for us. He lost his livelihood, his freedom, and his brother all within the span of a year. He never asked for any of this and it isn’t fair that he’s had to go through it all alone. Sure, he has us, but have we really BEEN there for him, too? He hasn’t been able to live a normal life since then and the closest he got was when we went to the future. And then we came back here. To a time where he can’t walk in Central Park, where he is constantly reminded that his brother is dead, his best friend having been dead even longer, his own niece hates him, and where his sons are constantly at each other’s throats.

My vision blurs and my hands clutch together at my mask tails.

“Watashi no saia no musuko,-dōshita no?*” Master Splinter asks, stepping closer as I wipe my face but don’t move as Sensei speaks. He cups my cheeks. “Nande naite iru nodesu ka? Kega wa arimasen ka?*”

My jaw works as I try to not fully breakdown. I tense when Master Splinter pulls me close to him, holding me against his chest and I just let go, sobbing into his chest as I throw my arms around my father.

“I-I’m so s-s-sorry,” I mutter, hiccuping as more hot tears spill down my mask.

Master Splinter runs a hand down my shell, humming softly as he rocks us. After a moment, he gently guides the two of us to our knees. Kissing the side of my head, he nuzzles my cheek.

“What are you sorry for, my child?” Master Splinter questions softly.

My fingers clutch to the back of his kimono as I bury my face further into his neck. My chest stutters as I breathe in deeply and another sob escapes me.

“Th-That everything has been so un-unfair for yo-you,” I whisper, tightening my arms around him. Sensei stiffens in my hold before he pulls back but not enough to leave my embrace.

Worried and troubled brown eyes flicker around my face as Sensei wipes my tears away with his thumb. His ears droop as I try scrubbing at my free-flowing tears.

“Whatever do you mean, Michelangelo?” Master Splinter asks, frowning as I hiccup and cough. He runs a hand over the dome of my head and I lean into it, his fingers just skirting the wound marring my skin. “Where is this coming from?”

Shaking my head, another sob slips from me and Sensei pulls me back into him.

After what feels like forever, my sobs start to subside and I tiredly wipe at my cheeks, sniffling as I lean back. Embarrassment floods through me as Sensei watches silently as I roughly wipe at my face with my wrists and the backs of my hands.

“S-Sorry, Sensei,” I stammer, chuckling nervously as I stare at the floor. “D-Don’t know what came over me there.”

Master Splinter catches my wrist with one hand and takes my chin in his other hand. His eyebrows furrow as he forces us to make eye contact.

“My son,” Master Splinter says gently, his thumb stroking my cheek. “Please, tell me what is wrong. I cannot help you if I do not understand what is going through that beautifully creative mind of yours.”

My eyes flicker toward the dojo entrance, half afraid to see my brothers standing there. The absence does little to reassure me that none of my brothers are listening in.

As if sensing my dilemma, Master Splinter swiftly stands and ushers me toward his room in the back. He slides the screen open and allows me to enter before him as he glides the door back into place.

I hover in the center of the room until Sensei gestures toward one of the cushions next to his futon. Sitting quietly, I stare down at my lap, sniffling lightly as Master Splinter kneels on the cushion in front of me.

“Michelangelo.”

I lift my gaze at my father’s gentle tone and his face softens as he watches me. Leaning forward, he takes one of my hands in his and squeezes.

“What is wrong?” Master Splinter asks again, thumb swiping over my knuckles. “There must be a reason for such a strong display of emotions. And why you felt the need to apologize.” Sensei pauses but when I don’t answer he continues. “Did something happen while you were at the movies? Do I need to contact Ms. O’Neil and Mr. Jones?”

“No!”

I cough into my fist when Sensei lifts a single eyebrow at my outburst. Sighing, I stare down at where our hands are joined.

“I…” I start only to pause, swallowing thickly. My eyes flicker up briefly to my father’s face before I drop it once more. “Uh, you…like as you said, I went to the movies with Casey and April, right?”

Master Splinter nods.

Wetting my lips, I drag in a deep breath. I can do this.

“Well, this movie…it was about family dynamics and it really got me thinking about our family, ya know? And well…” I pause, worrying my bottom lip until Master Splinter squeezes my hand.

“Go on, my son,” he encourages softly.

Huffing out a breath, I nod and stare at our clasped hands.

“And I guess, I just saw a lot of our family in this movie and it really got me thinking about everything, ya know?”

“And what exactly have you been thinking about?”

“Just…little things,” I say, shrugging. “Things like how Leo is always striving for perfection and worrying about our safety. Or how Raph is always trying to get stronger to protect us and keeping his emotions inside. Or how Donnie is always working to make our lives easier while also working as our personal doctor even though he keeps telling us he’s only an engineer. Or how you…” I pause, tensing as the air catches in my throat.

Master Splinter leans forward a little, tilting his head to the side, his eyes never leaving my face.

“Or how I what, my son?”

Shoot. Well, I guess there’s no going back now.

Squeezing my father’s hand, I steel my nerves and continue.

“Or how you were forced into a life underground and how unfair everything has been for you,” I finish quietly.

Silence follows my admission but Master Splinter doesn’t remove his hand from mine. I can feel his stare on the top of my head but I refuse to lift my gaze.

Finally, after what feels like eternity, Master Splinter shifts, tugging on my hand, gaining my attention. I lift my head, meeting my father’s eyes. A soft smile graces Sensei’s lips as our eyes meet.

“My son, my gentle spirited, bright shining son. Sometimes, I forget just how big your heart is.” Master Splinter reaches out with his free hand to rub my head. “And just how deep your empathy runs.” Master Splinter tilts my head back up so that our eyes meet. “I will not pretend to understand how your mind works or why it brings these thoughts to you. But I want you to understand that, yes, when I first transformed, everything was new. And, I will not lie, terrifying. I was alone in a country that I barely understood, let alone spoke the language of. My own brother having just estranged from me and our father right after our best friend passed and then he attempted to kill me.” Master Splinter strokes my cheek. “Only a fool would not admit to being afraid. It is natural in such a high stress situation. But, do you want to know something?”

Biting my lip, I nod, scooting closer to my father. Master Splinter smiles.

“You and your brothers made it bearable. Not only did you four give me a purpose, but you also gave me a reason to continue on.” Master Splinter pauses as I stare up at him, eyes wide. He looks down at our joined hands and strokes my knuckles with his thumb. “I am not proud to say that I was in quite a dark place when I first obtained the four of you as eggs. I rarely left my apartment, save to work at my dojo directly under my living quarters. And there were many times where I simply did not want to open my dojo or get out of bed. But when the four of you came into my life, I knew that I needed to make sure I was checking you every day to keep your eggs warm and clean.” Master Splinter looks at me, eyes bright and misty but he smiles. “Even before the four of you hatched, you started to make me want to continue on once more, one day at a time. It was slow and I was not good every day. It took a lot of work and I knew it was worth it the moment your brother hatched and he looked up at me with his little face. And then I could not wait for the rest of you to hatch. And one by one, a small hole in my heart was slowly filled. Not completely, but it was a start.” Master Splinter sighs, a small hitch in his breathing. I squeeze my father’s hand earning myself a love-filled smile. “And then the five of us mutated and just as I started to panic, do you know who calmed me?”

Throat tight, I shake my head, my own eyes filling with tears once more. Using his thumb, Master Splinter wipes a stray tear away.

“It was you, my son. You were the first to crawl to me, large eyes the color of a calm ocean. You came right up to me, cooing and begging for me to lift you. And it was then that I knew what my purpose on this Earth was.” Master Splinter chuckles, leaning forward to press our foreheads together. “When I was still in Japan, not once did I ever think that I would become a father. It just never crossed my mind and I truly never felt the need to search out such a life. But then you, my four precious boys, the lights of my life, came into my life and changed my entire perspective on everything. Seeing all of your little faces, knowing that I had brought you each into this world, made me want to protect all of you with my entire being.” Master Splinter leans back, cupping my cheek. “So, never, EVER think for one moment that I regret taking the four of you in, raising you deep underground. I would do it a million times over just knowing what wonderful young adults you four have turned into. Are there days that I wish to walk out in the sun? Yes. But only because I would love to be able to walk in the sun with all of YOU. Not because I truly miss it.” Master Splinter chuckles, a lopsided smile appearing. “I was never truly one for exploring nature. I preferred to remain inside and read my books. So, I understand Donatello’s want of remaining indoors to fiddle with his tech or when you want to stay hidden to draw. I am not entirely sure where Leonardo’s love for nature came from.” Master Splinter leans in. “Would you like to know a secret?”

I nod and shimmy closer, intrigue spiking.

Master Splinter smirks at my eagerness.

“The only reason I grew that tree in the dojo was because it was already there when we arrived. And I wanted to teach the four of you about life and responsibility. No other reason.” Master Splinter laughs as my eye ridges raise in surprise. “And the reason I created that garden while we lived with Cody was to give me some space from all the strange technology that surrounded us. And it gave me something to do.” Master Splinter shrugs as I giggle. “Even I can only meditate for so long.”

“You got bored!”

Master Splinter’s eyes sparkle as he bops my snout.

“I shall deny it if you try to tell your brothers,” Master Splinter teases causing me to laugh again. “But yes. I got bored. But, as you can see, if one thinks about everything that has happened in my life, some may see all of it as unfair. But, I have had many blessings along the way that have shaped me into the person I am today. And I am proud of who I am and I’m proud to have such wonderful sons like you. So, never forget that. I am happy with my life and I would not change a moment of it if it means that I would not have you four in my life because I never want to experience a life where I would not have you. Because I know that my life would be very lonely and without any light.”

Unable to hold back any longer, I launch myself toward my father and cling to him, tears leaking free as he rocks us. He murmurs softly in Japanese against my skull, kissing me as he clings to me just as tightly.

“I love you, Papa,” I mutter, burying my face in his shoulder.

Master Splinter soothes a hand down my shell and kisses my temple.

“And I love you, my son. All of you.” Master Splinter leans back, rubbing the top of my head. “Feeling any better?”

Chuckling, I wipe my face with my wrist and smile at my father.

“Yeah. Thanks, Papa.”

I swear Sensei melts as I answer and his thumb strokes my cheek one last time. 

“You are very welcome. Was this all you were thinking about during supper? Or is there something else you would like to discuss?”

Sighing, I fiddle with the wrappings on my fingers.

“Part of it,” I answer honestly and Sensei nods for me to continue. Guess this would be a good time to ask. “I was also thinking of ways to help my bros relax and stuff.”

Master Splinter raises a single eyebrow in interest.

“And were you able to think of something, my son?”

Here goes nothing.

“Kinda?” My fingers pull harder at my wrappings. “I was thinking that, uh, maybe, with Casey’s permission, we could go to the farmhouse? To have a small vacation of sorts? Get away for awhile and maybe even discuss how to…” My snout wrinkles as I search for the right words. “That we could discuss how to distribute the loads that everyone has taken upon themselves? See if there is anything we can do to help Leo with his duties as leader or if there is something we can do that helps Raph release his emotions in a way that he’s comfortable with or a way to help ease all the techy stuff or medical stuff off of Donnie so he’s not the only one who has to deal with it? Ya know?”

Master Splinter strokes his beard, eyes watching me as I speak. He slowly nods, wheels turning in his head as he thinks over my idea. 

“You have put quite a bit of thought into this, my son.”

I shrug.

“Uh, not really? It was just what I was thinking about while making supper and I just couldn’t stop once we sat down to eat.” I smile sheepishly as I rub the back of my neck. “And, uh, I may have already gotten things for everyone to help them relax while up at the farmhouse.”

“Such as?”

Grinning, I shake my head, lifting a finger to my lips.

“Uh uh. Sorry, Sensei, but they’re gonna be surprises for everyone.”

Master Splinter chuckles, the corner of his eyes crinkling in amusement. He folds his hands in his lap.

“Very well, Michelangelo. Keep your secrets. But, as for your suggestion of going to the farmhouse.” Master Splinter hums, his eyes flickering around my face. “Would this only be for the benefits of your brothers?”

My eye ridges furrow in confusion. 

Well, duh? 

“And you too, Sensei,” I say, not entirely sure what else us going up there would accomplish. 

A strange gleam appears in Sensei’s eyes as he watches me. A ghost of a smile forms on his lips and he shakes his head. I frown.

“Something wrong, Sensei?”

Master Splinter huffs, the noise coming close to being a chuckle.

“Nothing, Michelangelo. I actually think that you and your brothers going to the farmhouse is a wonderful idea.”

My eyes widen.

“Re-Really?”

My father nods, stroking his little beard.

“Indeed. I think it would do the four of you good to get out of the city for a little while. Reconnect as brothers and as a team.”

“But what about you?”

“I shall remain here.” Master Splinter rests a hand on my shoulder when I open my mouth. “I believe this is something that you and your brothers need to work through. Not only as a family but as a team as well. I shall remain here and when you return, you can come and tell me all about it.” 

“But-“

Master Splinter bops my snout, instantly quieting me as he smiles.

“I truly believe that it would be best for me to remain here while you and your brothers discuss how to find a way to distribute the burdens between all of you,” Master Splinter states softly. “There will come a time when I will not be here, my son. And you and your brothers will have to hold such conversations without me regardless. But I want you to understand something.”

I frown and tilt my head.

“What’s that, Sensei?”

“You need to remember that your brothers each hold a different amount of responsibility for your team.” Sensei rubs my cheek. “Leonardo is your older brother and leader. He shoulders the responsibility of all of you.” I nod. “He HAS to take on that responsibility. Because he needs to be the solid foundation for all of you. It was why our home felt incomplete when your brother was gone.” Sensei strokes his thumb under my eye. “Raphael is the same way. Your brother acts as the shield of our family. He feels responsible for the safety of all of us. He felt the absence of your eldest brother the most because he could not guarantee Leonardo’s safety. And Donatello has become our personal medic, studying for years. So he is going to have knowledge that we do not. So, I want you to keep that in mind, my son. But I do believe that this is a good path for the four of you to take to strengthen your bond as not only teammates but brothers.”

“And what about you, Sensei?”

Master Splinter smiles and strokes my cheek.

“As for me? I shall remain here. Content with knowing that my sons are working on bettering their lives together. I thank you for your concern, my child. However, I would be more comfortable staying here with Klunk.”

A mischievous smile appears on Sensei’s face and I relax a little, remembering what he said about preferring to remain inside rather than outside. 

“If you’re sure…”

Master Splinter tilts my chin up with a finger.

“I am, my son. And you and your brothers have not had the chance to do anything as just the four of you in almost 2 years. The four of you deserve to reconnect and strengthen your bond once more. And, I think that the fresh air would do your older brothers some good.” An exasperated look slides onto Sensei’s face. “If I have to listen to your brothers bicker for another night I might just ship them up there in a crate with or without Mr. Jones’s permission.”

A laugh bubbles from me at my father’s dry tone and I take his hand in mine. 

“Couldn’t agree more, Sensei. How long are we allowed to be gone for?”

“If it is all right with Mr. Jones, then I think 2 weeks would be suffice.”

My eyes widen.

2 weeks?! Whoa. Sensei isn’t messing around.

“That should give you and your brothers a chance to fully relax and also time to start planning on how to equally distribute the burdens placed upon all of you.”

My snout twitches. I don’t have any burdens to worry about but with how stubborn my brothers are, then it might take the entire 2 weeks to get them to become comfortable enough to allow each of us to help them. Smiling, I wiggle happily.

“If I call Casey and he agrees, could we leave when my gifts for everyone come?”

“And when is that supposed to be?”

I smile sheepishly.

“Tomorrow?”

Master Splinter chuckles, shaking his head.

“If you can convince your brothers to leave that soon without telling them beforehand, then I see no reason not to.”

“Sweet!” I jump to my feet, fists in the air. “You’re the best, Sensei!” I hug him once more. “Thanks, Papa.”

Master Splinter’s chest vibrates as he chuckles, returning the embrace before patting me on the shell.

“You are welcome, my son. Now, off with you if you want to call Mr. Jones tonight.”

Grinning, I bow before rushing from Sensei’s room. Excitement bubbles in my chest as I exit the dojo. 

I can’t believe he actually said yes! I thought I would have to work harder to get Sensei on board for a small vacation but I guess not! Even if I wish that he would come with us, but I get that he needs time alone. Something he doesn’t get a lot of with 4 teenage boys around. 

And he will be able to enjoy his gift how he wants! I think, grinning. He will have 2 weeks of the TV pit to himself or he can just watch them wherever! Now to call Casey and make sure he's okay with it!

“Mikey?”

A shriek escapes me as Leo appears out of nowhere, arms crossed as he blocks my path to my room. A noise close to a whine slips pass my lips as I look up at Leo.

“Duuuude, you can’t go around sneaking up on people,” I whine, pouting at my eldest brother. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Leo quirks an eye ridge but he remains silent as his eyes study my face. Suddenly self-conscious, I duck my head and stare at him warily. 

“What?”

Leo uncrosses his arms and walks up to me. My body tenses when his hands land on my shoulders but his hold is gentle as he stares down at me.

“You know that you can talk to me, right?” Leo says quietly, fingers squeezing slightly. “About anything. Or even Raph or Donnie. So, if there’s something bothering you, I’m here if you want to talk, little brother.”

And see if she can handle every family burden…

My mouth falls open, lost on what to say as my brother’s concerned brown eyes stare down at me. My chest tightens as a swell of emotions shift through me. My fingers twitch at my sides and I pull in a quick breath through my nose. And then I step closer and wrap my arms around Leo.

My blue-cladded brother stiffens for a second in my hold, but only for a beat before he slowly wraps his arms around me. I press my cheek to his shoulder and smile at the wall.

I almost forgot what a great hugger Leo is.

“Of course I do, bro. You guys are the best brothers around.” I lean back and grin at him. 

Leo’s face softens as a small smile tugs at his lips. 

“So, is everything all right?”

Give it to your sister, it doesn’t hurt…

I swallow thickly and my smile strains as I nod. I’m not going to burden him with what Sensei and I just talked about. At least, not yet. Not until he’s had a few days of relaxation. 

“Yup!” I chirp, squeezing Leo’s middle. “Sensei just wanted to make sure everything was all right, ya know? Since I went to the movies without any of you and because I couldn’t stop thinking about the movie during supper.”

“So that’s why you were so quiet.”

Leo tightens his hold on me as I jump at Donnie’s voice. Glancing back at him, I spy him and Raph standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Swallowing my embarrassment, I shoot Don a grin.

“Course! It was a really good movie! And the songs were great! Disney never disappoints.”

Raph rolls his eyes as he leans against the doorframe. 

“Oh really? ‘Cause if dat was da case, how come ya haven’t told us what da movie ya saw is about?” Raph crosses his arms. “’Cause I know when ya like a movie ya won’t shut up about it. And I haven’t heard ya say a peep ‘bout dis movie except dat it's good.”

Well, shell. Since when are my brothers so perceptive? 

Don steps closer, his hazel eyes locking with my ocean blue as a concerned frown graces his lips.

“He’s right, Mikey. You were so excited to see this movie and yet you haven’t tried to tell us the plot or even sing any of the songs at the top of your lungs.”

Oof, busted.

Not willing to give anything away, I merely smile at my brothers, hugging Leo tighter as he tightens his hold on me, as if I might slip away if he doesn’t hold on.

Not a bad thought, I think, mentally pouting. I still need to call Casey and my bros are ruining that plan. So, I need to come up with something soon before Casey heads to bed.

“I haven’t quoted anything from the movie because I really, REALLY want you to see it, dudes. And if I sing any of the songs it’ll spoil it and you need the visual contexts to really appreciate the songs.”

Silence follows my explanation and I turn my face up to Leo, widening my eyes as he stares down at me with an unreadable expression.

“Honest,” I say quietly, doing my best to convince my brothers. It’s not like I’m really lying either. I really was thinking about Encanto during supper and I do really want my bros to watch this movie with me. Just maybe when I won’t cry during some of the songs. They’d never let me live it down if I cried like I did while I was with April and Casey. Luckily for me, April sat between me and Casey and she didn’t say anything about me crying.

However, when Leo doesn’t so much as twitch, I know I need to turn up the ‘Baby Brother’ act if I want to get out of this to continue on with my surprise for them.

Pressing my face into Leo’s shoulder, I nuzzle gently and whisper:

“I just really want you dudes to watch it with me. And if I spoil anything, you won’t want to see it.”

Biting the inside of my cheek, I wait as the silence continues to stretch on. It isn’t until Leo loosens his hold just a little that I know I’ve won.

Baby brother – 1

Big brothers – 0

Leo chuckles and presses his cheek to the top of my head.

“You know that isn’t true, Mikey. But, if this movie is as good as you say it is and you REALLY want us to watch it as a family, then we’ll watch it. However,” Leo says, leaning back to look me in the eye, face serious. “If there IS something bothering you, then talk to us, Otōto.”

Raph walks up and rubs the top of my head.

“And we mean dat, knucklehead.”

“Course, dude! Wouldn’t expect anything less from the best bros ever!”

Stepping away from Leo, I smile back at my brothers before hurrying for the stairs. I shoot them one last glance, pausing right outside my door. Raph and Leo are pretending to talk but I can see them side-eyeing me from their spots down below. Donnie is already heading for his lab, but he’s taking the long way that allows him to see our rooms. Sending one last smile toward Leo and Raph, I disappear into my room. Pressing my back against the door, I release a sigh of relief.

Geez. That could have been bad! One wrong move and everyone’s surprises could have gone down the drain!

Biting my lip, I pull my ShellCell from my belt and pull up Casey’s number. But now that I know that my brothers are watching me, I need to be a little more stealthy about this. Time to ninja it up.

Opening a new message, I quickly shoot Casey a text. Short and simple. Merely explaining about needing to get the guys out of town and the only place I can think of that everyone relaxes is the farmhouse and if we can stay for two weeks. Once that message is done, I quickly type up one for April letting her know that I have a few packages arriving that I’ll swing by and pick up the moment they arrive. April is quick to respond, sending two thumbs up and a smiley face.

Grinning, I glance at the time and huff. It’s barely even 7:30pm. Geez. Not going on patrol is really throwing my sense of time off.

“So, what now?” I wonder aloud, absentmindedly rubbing Klunk behind the ear. A yelp escapes me when my phone suddenly vibrates and I glance down.

Casey: U guys deserve a break take all the time u need up there Ma loves u four so even if she drops by she won’t mind u being there

Casey: Need anything from Ape or me before u leave tomorrow?

A grin splits my face and I wiggle happily. He said ‘Yes’! Now I just need to get my bros there after I set up their gifts!

Me: Thanks a bunch Case-man! I really owe u one and they really do deserve some R&R and nah we should be golden dude we have more than enough food to last us and if not Leo knows how to hunt XD

Hitting send, I swiftly grab my travel bag from my closet and start filling it with everything I need. Notebook, drawing pad, extra belt and mask, extra blanket and pillow, a flashlight, charging cords for my phone and Switch. Tapping my chin, I glance around.

“I’ll have to grab my bathroom stuff in the morning,” I mutter, fingering the corner of the blanket sticking out of my backpack. “With my bros watching me or listening for everything, I can’t risk them seeing me packing that stuff yet.” Tugging on my mask tails, I look down when my phone vibrates one last time.

Casey: Sounds good man have a good time up there 😊

Sending back the smiley emoji, I toss my phone onto my loft bed and glance around. If I really wanted to, I could wait till around midnight and secretly start packing for my brothers as well. I have no idea if Sensei will try to keep this all under wraps until after training in the morning. So, if he does, then my bros will want to shower. Though, I’m pretty sure that we still have some extra bathroom supplies under the sink. Slowly, I nod and zip my bag shut. That settles it. Once it gets close to midnight, I’ll sneak out and do some more packing so that all my bros need to worry about is packing their own bags tomorrow. Clapping my hands, I wiggle happily.

“My bros are gonna be so relaxed that they won’t know what hit them!”

Chapter Text

A loud yawn leaves me as I groggily enter the kitchen. Reaching the fridge, I rub my eyes as I open the door and start pulling out eggs and bacon for breakfast. Ugh. I spent so much time last night getting things ready for the trip to the farmhouse that I only got four hours of sleep. Don’t get the Mikester wrong, I don’t regret doing it. I got a lot done. I packed our extra bathroom supplies and even found our extra-large tent and put it in the BattleShell already. Just in case we do some camping. Leo likes to be outside, under the stars, so it might help him relax even more.

Vrr. Vrr.

Jumping, I place the spatula down I was using to stir the eggs and glance at my phone.

April: Mikey! Your packages are here 🥳! Come get them whenever you want sweetie 😊

I bit my lip to keep from squealing in excitement, all signs of exhaustion gone as my thumbs fly over the digital keyboard.

Me: Shell yeah! Let me just put the eggs and bacon into the microwave for my bros and I’ll be right there!

Not waiting for April’s response, I slip my phone back into my belt and quickly finish stirring the eggs. Once it’s to the correct thickness, I scoop the scrambled eggs onto a large plate, alongside the sizzling bacon, wrap it all with tinfoil and shove it into the microwave.

Snatching a piece of paper, I swiftly write where I left the food, just in case I’m not back before my bros (mainly Don and Raphie) are up. Leo has been up for at least an hour by now, meditating like he always does. I bite the inside of my cheek as I finish the note and rush for the front door.

I’ll send Leo a text once I’m in the tunnels.

“Whoa! Mikey!”

My thoughts are instantly halted and my heart leaps into my throat when I suddenly collide with a solid body, nearly sending us toppling over. Heat rushes to my face as I glance up at the bewildered face of my eldest brother.

Dang it, Leo! You’re still supposed to be meditating!

“L-L-Leo!” I stammer out, trying to take a step back. “What are you doing up so early, bro?”

Leo’s eyes narrow and his arms tighten around me just as I shift.

“I’m always up at this time. The better question is why you’re running out of the kitchen. Your happy place.”

Nooooo. My surprise! Gotta think of something quick!

Turning on my most charming smile, I beam up at Leo.

“Oh, I just realized that I forgot to pick up something from April’s and she said that I could come grab it. I’m not gonna be long and breakfast is already made.”

My smile dims a little when Leo leans back but keeps an iron grip around me. His honey brown eyes flash as he scans my face suspiciously. I mentally whine.

“And pray tell, what’s so important that you need to pick it up now instead of after morning training? Not that Donnie will allow you to participate with those stitches in.”

This time, I do whine out loud and attempt to break out of Leo’s hold.

“Dude, it’ll literally take me like five minutes tops to get to April’s. I’ll be gone for like 10 minutes in total. And we both know that Raphie and Donnie won’t be up for another 15 to 20 minutes. So, if you let me go now, I can still make it and still be able to have breakfast with all of you.”

Leo purses his lips, but his arms don’t budge.

“That’s not what I asked, Michelangelo,” Leo says, voice edging toward ‘Leader-mode’. “I asked WHAT you were picking up, not how long it would take you to get to and from April.”

Biting my lip, my mind races on how I can get Leo to let me go. Picking at the strap that holds his swords, I clear my throat.

“Well, um, you see, uh—”

“Good morning, my sons.”

My words die into a squeak as Leo turns. Master Splinter is standing a few feet away from us, hands behind his back and his brown eyes sparkling as he watches the two of us. A single eyebrow cocks as he and I make eye contact and I smile sheepishly.

“Good morning, Father.”

“Morning, Papa.”

His eyes flicker to Leo and I swear that an amused smile appears for a brief second.

“Is everything all right, my children?”

Leo’s arms flex around me as he nods.

“Hai, Sensei. Mikey and I were merely discussing his reasoning for grabbing something from April’s before training and what could be so important that it couldn’t wait.”

“I see,” Master Splinter says, reaching up to stroke his little beard and I swear his eyes are sparkling as he glances at me. “And is what you are picking up from Ms. O’Neil important, my son?”

I can’t nod fast enough, only to regret it a moment later when my stitches pull. Lifting a hand to cover my wound, I keep eye contact with my father as I silently beg for him to let me go.

“Of course, Sensei! And I won’t take very long, promise! Just long enough to thank April and then I’ll be right back. Won’t even know I’m gone.”

Master Splinter nods with a hum as Leo glares down at me.

“That’s not the point, Mikey. You’re still injured! And you know as well as I do that the Purple Dragons and Foot Clan can strike at any time.”

I worry something is gonna hurt us…

Uh oh. Mother Hen Leo is rearing his head. I thought I might get lucky this time around and not have to deal with this. I mean, usually Mother Hen Leo comes out the moment we’re in the lair, but that didn’t happen. Maybe Leo was just mad at me until now and needed to wait a few days before unleashing Mother Hen Leo so that Angry Leo and Mother Hen Leo didn’t combine and turn into the Overly Protective Big Brother Leo. Because I’ve only seen Overly Protective Big Brother Leo once and he’s really scary.

Puffing my cheeks, I glare up at Leo.

“Dude, I know! That’s why I’ll take the sewers the entire way. I won’t even use the garage. That way I’ll remain hidden until April’s and I’ll backtrack the exact same way. In. Out. Nobody will even know I was there except April.” A whine emits from the back of my throat when Leo just stares at me stone-faced. “C’mooooon, Leo. I’m wasting precious time! I literally could have been there and back by now, bro.”

Of all times for Leo to be overly stubborn! Why does it have to be now?

“I still don’t see why this can’t wait until after morning practice, Mikey,” Leo states dryly, completely unphased by my whining.

“Because I’m always the last one to shower and I’ll be all gross and sweaty and April doesn’t need to deal with that first thing in the morning, dude.”

“Ahem.”

Leo and I tense, and I shoot our father a sheepish smile. There is a mysterious glint in Master Splinter’s eyes as he watches us. After a moment, our father chuckles softly before walking toward us. He rests a hand on Leo’s shoulder, his other holding his emerald walking stick.

“Well, then I guess it is a good thing that morning training has been cancelled. I was coming out to tell Michelangelo and yourself.” Master Splinter glances at me. “So, no need to rush and no more arguing.”

Biting my lip, I nod while mental fireworks start going off. Shell yeah, Sensei! Now that’s what I’m talking about!

My mental party cuts short when I feel Leo’s arms twitch around me but not move. Glancing up, I wince at the frown on my eldest brother’s lips as he studies our father.

“Morning training is cancelled? Why?”

Master Splinter’s eyes flicker back to me before returning to Leo. Reaching out, Master Splinter presses his palm to Leo’s cheek, startling my brother in blue. Uncertainty morphs onto Leo’s face.

“Father?”

Master Splinter smiles softly at Leo.

“It has been brought to my attention just how hard the four of you have been working since you returned home, my son. And all of you have been doing very well in your training.” Sensei chuckles. “Yes, there are a few things that are a little rusty and need slight improvement, but I do believe that the four of you have earned yourselves a break.”

Leo blinks and glances down at me. I merely stare back, trying to portray my own confusion so that I can keep my surprise a secret just a little bit longer. His eyes narrow a little and I know that Leo is starting to put two and two together and I can only hope that I can still surprise him before he drags Raph and Donnie onto his side and they force me to spill the beans. I’ve already fibbed my way out of suspicion last night, I don’t think Leo is gonna fall for it again.

Leo slowly tears his gaze away from me and looks up at our father once more.

“And what kind of break are we talking about, Father? Merely today? And does this apply to patrol again?” A suspicious gleam flashes in Leo’s honey brown eyes as he glances between me and Sensei. “Does this have something to do with the talk the two of you had last night?”

Leeeeeeooooo. Stop trying to puzzle everything out, dude. You’re gonna ruin my surprise.

A quiet chuckle escapes our father, which seems to puzzle my big brother even more.

“You will have to just wait and see, my son. However, I do believe that Michelangelo has some place to be before your other two brothers awaken.”

Leo’s arms flex around me, obviously not wanting to let me go to April’s by myself. Tilting my head back, I stare up into my brother’s face until he meets my gaze. Brown eyes soften as they meet my ocean blue and I can spot the worry swirling around in those deep orbs.

“Please, Leo? I promise to be super-duper careful, dude. I’ll even talk with you the entire time if that would make you feel better.”

“I could just come with you.”

My eyes widen and I swear that I stop breathing for a second as panic rushes through me. No. No! Leo can’t come with me! He needs to relax and not worry.

“Leonardo.”

Both me and Leo jerk at the sharp tone in our father’s voice. I don’t remember the last time he used such a tone with Leo. And from Leo’s own startled expression, neither can he. Seeing that he has our attention, Master Splinter’s face softens a little, but he holds Leo’s gaze.

“Leonardo. Michelangelo is more than capable to run to Ms. O’Neil’s house on his own. Yes, your brother is injured, but not to the point where he cannot fight if it came down to it. And we are within range to reach him should he need our help.” A tiny smile forms on our father’s face as he strokes Leo’s face gently. “I understand your fears, my son. However, all of this worrying is just going to make you sick. Another reason why I believe that you four deserve a break. You are still young, my sons. And deserve a chance to act your age. But, you also need to remember that you have been gone for two years. Michelangelo has been leaving the lair by himself for almost the same amount of time and returned to us each time. And we all know that Ms. O’Neil will do everything in her power to get Michelangelo safely back home to us. But you need to trust in your brother’s abilities.”

Leo’s lips purse as he thinks over our father’s words. After a beat of silence, I feel him sigh and sag a little. He glances down at me and an apologetic smile forms on his face.

“I’m sorry, Mikey. Father’s right. I guess I am being a little overbearing.” Leo squeezes me against him and I giggle as I return the hug. “You’re a big turtle and a skilled ninja. Just make sure you hurry back, all right? I can’t promise that Raph won’t try to eat your portion if you’re still gone when he gets up.”

A wave of relief washes over me as Leo lowers his arms. Beaming, I offer Leo a lopsided grin.

“Don’t worry, bro. I’ll be back before Raphie can even figure out where I put the eggs and bacon.” I pull my ShellCell from my belt and hold it up for Leo to see. “But I’ll keep my cell in my hand the entire way there, just in case.”

The wave of relief that washes over my brother’s face almost makes me feel bad about leaving. Leo smiles.

“That works. Thanks, Mikey. And hurry back.”

Nodding, I turn on my heels and rush for the garage. It’s the fastest way and with how long I took, I’m gonna run the risk of Don and Raph waking before I get back if I take the tunnels. I can hear Master Splinter and Leo talking softly as I enter the elevator. Leaning against the wall, I rub my forehead.

All of this is just reinforcing the need to get my brothers out of the city and some place relatively safe and stress-free. Because if Leo’s feeling this stressed and scared about letting us go by ourselves, I just know that Raph and Donnie are feeling the same way.

“Which we should be heading to in just a few hours,” I whisper to myself, giggling as the elevator slows and the doors slide open. Opening my phone as I walk, I shoot Leo a quick text telling him I’m leaving the garage. Just to give my big brother some peace of mind.

I shake my head.

“We need to get him out of the city.”

I slink into the shadows, shivering a little as the crisp morning air falls over me. Some birds chirp overhead, and I can’t help but smile. In a few hours, we’ll be able to experience this for two weeks straight. It’s gonna be AWESOME. Humming softly to myself, I turn down an alleyway.

April’s antique shop comes into view and I slide up next to the side door and knock. I’m barely waiting a minute when the door suddenly opens and April sticks her head out. I beam up at her the moment her eyes land on me.

“Hiya, April! How are you this morning?”

The red-head chuckles, shaking her head.

“How you can be so chirper this early in the morning, I’ll never know. But c’mon in, silly. I’ve got a doughnut waiting for you that Casey dropped off before work this morning.”

Wiggling happily, I follow April into the store and I instantly zone into the small mound of packages sitting on her counter. Giddiness spreads across my chest as April reaches over and hands me a Boston Cream doughnut.

“I’m so happy that the four of you are going to be getting away for a little while,” April says as she grabs a large bag and starts placing the boxes into the bag. “After everything you’ve been through, you guys deserve it.”

Nodding, I swallow my bite of doughnut and smile.

“Yeah! Especially Leo.” I sober a little as I stare at the half-eaten doughnut in my hand. “I’m pretty sure he’s really missing the freedom of the jungle right now. He didn’t even want me coming here on my own today. But I think that’s more to do with me getting backhanded by Hun than anything else.”

April snaps her head toward me so quickly that I swear I heard her neck crack.

“Wait. Hold on. You guys fought Hun recently?” Concern crosses her face as I nod. “Are you all right? It’s been a while since he’s been active.”

Shrugging, I pop the rest of my doughnut in my mouth and hum.

“Yeah. The fight in general went really well. I was the only one who got hurt at all. And all I needed was a few stitches in the back of my head.” I wave a dismissive hand as horror appears on my surrogate sister’s face. “Honest, April. It’s not that bad. The Dragons skedaddled the moment they knew they weren’t gonna win. It just looked bad because it’s the head.”

I fall silent when April glares at me. Placing the last box in the bag, she places the bag down before she storms up to me. When I shrink back, she gently cups my face and her expression softens.

“Let me see, Mikey.”

Not really wanting to anger her more, I allow her to tilt my head forward. I fiddle with my fingers when April hisses.

“Mikey! That’s at least 14 stitches! That’s not something to shrug at!” April exclaims, tilting my head back up so that I can look up at her. “Is your head okay? Are you experiencing headaches? Did you have one yesterday? The flickering lights and speakers didn’t bother you at all did they?” She pauses and her eyes widen. “That wasn’t why you were crying during the movie was it?”

“Whoa, April. Chill,” I say, placing my hand over her’s as I smile. “No. I don’t have a headache and I wasn’t hurting during the movie yesterday either.” Not physically anyways. “It was just a really good movie and hit me right in the feels, ya know? I really did enjoy Encanto a lot, honest.” I shuffle sheepishly in place. “And, well, it was nice seeing a movie that I could fully enjoy, ya know? If I went with my brothers, I would have been too embarrassed to continue watching with how much I cried.”

April’s face softens and she squishes my cheeks until I giggle.

“Oh, Mikey. You know that Leo and Donnie wouldn’t tease you for crying. Raph would but not Don or Leo.”

I stare at April in disbelief, cocking one eye ridge. April snickers and pulls me into a hug.

“All right, so they’d tease you a little bit, but that’s what siblings are for! But you know that they’d make sure you were all right first.”

I snort but hug her back just as tightly as she tucks my head against her shoulder.

“After calling me a “Baby”.”

“You’re just sensitive, Mikey. And that’s okay.”

Pouting, I peer up at my adoptive sister.

“I’m not sensitive! I just have allergies! And dust aggravates them into making my eyes water!”

April huffs a laugh and pulls back enough to look down at me. She shakes her head before kissing my forehead and walking over to where she put the bag with my family’s gifts.

“It’s okay to be sensitive, Mikey. But I know how bad allergies can get. Especially in movie theatres.” April turns and winks at me.

Puffing my cheeks, I try to pretend to pout but I can’t hold it as the redhead walks toward me, bag in hand. I’m practically vibrating in place once she holds it out.

“Geez, Mikey. Calm down,” April says, laughing as I hug the bag to my chest. “What did you buy anyways that has you this excited so early in the morning? New comics? Limited edition figurines?”

Giggling, I shake my head and hold out the bag for April to peer inside.

“Nope! I got my bros and Sensei some gifts to help with our two weeks at the farmhouse!” I beam at the surprised look on April’s face. “Great, right?! I got Leo some Samurai romance books, Raph some wrestling DVDs and his own portable DVD player, same with Sensei but instead of wrestling he’s gonna get his stories! And Donnie, I got him those textbooks you guys were talking about awhile back.”

April gasps, disbelief on her face and I giggle again, wiggling in excitement.

“Really? But Mikey! Those textbooks are like $60 a piece!”

Shrugging, I hug the bag to my plastron once more.

“I’m sure Donnie will be willing to share them with you once he’s finished reading them,” I state, bouncing on the balls of my feet. “But I can’t wait to see my bros face when they see what I got them. They’re gonna be so relaxed these next two weeks that you won’t even recognize them when we get back!”

April shakes her head, laughing.

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you, Mikey?” She glances down in the bag again as I nod, pleased with myself. She looks back at me, her eyes gleaming. “And what did you get yourself for your time up at the farmhouse?”

Confusion fills me and I tilt my head as I stare at April.

“I don’t need anything.” I wave a dismissive hand as April’s smile slips. “I’m not stressed so I don’t need anything. And besides, my bros are always bringing me home stuff and I decompress with my drawing and video games. That’s more than I can say about my brothers lately.”

“Mikey…”

I frown as I finger the bag’s handles.

“They’re always doing something for someone else or worrying about something and I just want to give them the chance to act our age, ya know? It’s not fair that they have to act like people so much older than them when we’re not even 20 yet, ya know?” My snout twitches as I glance back up at April. “And they do so much for me, April. Keeping me safe, dealing with my pranks, living with my humor. They deserve to have some of that kindness returned.”

I jump when I’m suddenly engulfed in a warm embrace once more. Blinking, I glance over at the red hair invading my eyesight.

“April?”

She squeezes me tightly once before leaning back, her hands resting on my shoulders. Confusion swirls in me as her green eyes are bright with unshed tears but there is a loving smile on her face.

“Oh, Mikey. You really do have a heart of gold, don’t you?”

I splutter at her comment, but I fall silent when April rests a gentle palm on my cheek.

“You and your brothers have a great time up at that farmhouse, all right?” April suddenly demands, her eyes piercing as she stares down at me. “And you contact Casey or I if you need ANYTHING. Food, help with electricity, etc. You name it, we’ll bring it for you four because you deserve to have some nice time relaxing. Hell, if you guys need an extra week up there, you let Casey and I know.” I open my mouth but April cuts me off, as if sensing my protest. “And don’t worry about Sensei and Klunk. Casey and I will keep an eye on them. But Mikey?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Promise me that you will also spend some time on yourself these next two weeks, okay?” April asks, stroking my cheek as she scans me. My eyes widen slightly, even more confusion. “Your brothers aren’t the only ones who deserve to decompress, okay? And in order for you to help your brothers, you need to help yourself first.”

My eye ridges furrow as a confused smile works its way to my lips.

“But April. I’m not—”

The redhead shakes her head, cutting me off with the single motion.

“You might not feel stressed, Mikey, but your brothers weren’t the only ones to go through that Winters fiasco or deal with Leo being gone for nearly two years.” My adopted sister leans forward and kisses my forehead. “You’ve been through just as much as your brothers. You got a job that physically harmed you, you dealt with your big brother not being home, and you were the peacekeeper between Don and Raph when they were at each other’s throats. All the while keeping a smile on your face. So, yes, you deserve this vacation just as much as your brothers do. Trust me.”

Words catch in my throat as April hugs me once more before leading me over to the door. So many different emotions are swirling inside my head right now that I can’t just focus on one thought or the other. I mean, yeah, sure, I was a part of the Winters thing and yeah, I had to keep Raph and Don from killing each other while Leo was gone but that’s all in the past now and I’ve moved on. Why stress about things that can’t be changed?

However, before I can voice any of this, I’m already stepping out into the alleyway with April standing in the doorway. Turning, I open my mouth again, hoping to convey to her how I don’t need to do any type of relaxing, that this is all about helping my brothers and distributing the loads that they’ve taken on themselves. But something in her face causes the words to die before they leave my mouth.

As if reading my mind, April smiles sadly at me one last time.

“Your brothers and father are going to love their gifts, Mikey. But don’t forget to do something for yourself too. Because you’re just as important as they are and I want to see ALL of you return home refreshed and relaxed like never before, you hear?” April plants her hands on her hips in mock anger with a scowl and a strange tension leaves my shoulders as I nod.

“Yeah, April. We’ll return so relaxed that you won’t even recognize us.”

April’s lips twitch into a smile as she crosses her arms.

“You better be relaxed. If not, I’ll personally drive you four back up there myself and make sure you relax! Now, you better hurry home before Leo starts to wonder where you’re at. And shoot Case and I a text when you boys get to the farmhouse, all right? You’re heading up tonight, right?”

“Yup! I just need to get my bros to pack their bags and we’ll be going up, hopefully, the moment the sun sets,” I answer and April nods. “If not sooner. If my bros cooperate.”

“Good. You four drive safe.”

“No promises if it’s Raph driving,” I state, grinning as April laughs and shakes her head.

“Yes, well, he’s better than Casey driving so I trust him to get you four there safely. Now off with you.”

Laughing, I wave one last time before slipping into the shadows of the alleyway. Once out of sight of the shop, I hug the bag of items close to me as I slink back toward the garage.

One part of me is still overjoyed about my family’s gifts arriving and I just can’t wait to see their reactions when I give them their ‘Tools Toward Relaxation’. But another part of me just can’t get April’s words out of my head. What did she mean that I “also deserve relaxation”? Out of everyone in my family (excluding Klunk) I’m the most relaxed! I barely have any job on the team outside of being the distraction and loud-mouth. And what do I provide for the family at home? I cook. Oh gee, how stressful!

Snorting, I shake my head as the garage appears and I sprint for the door, clutching the bag tighter.

I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t planning on relaxing at all during our time up at the farmhouse. I’m gonna have to. I can’t just bombard my brothers with dividing up their responsibilities right away, they won’t be receptive to it. No. I need to wait a few days and if my bros think that something is up, they won’t relax. So, I plan to spend my time sketching and playing my handle-held games. Anything that will keep me out of my brothers’ nonexistent hair so they can decompress fully.

Nodding decisively, I press the down button. The elevator instantly opens and I grin. Looks like nobody needed the elevator while I was gone. Not that I expected anyone too, but my brothers like to surprise me. Stepping inside, I bounce on the balls of my feet as the elevator descends.

I giggle and hug the bag.

“My bros are gonna be so surprised!”

The ride down feels as though it takes forever but I know it’s only like 30 seconds tops. When the doors finally slide open, I peer out into the lair, half expecting Leo to be standing right there, arms crossed. What I find instead is an empty lair.

Maybe Sensei made Leo go meditate until I got back? I think, cautiously exiting the elevator and creep across the floor.

I strain my ears in an attempt to see if I can pinpoint my loving older brother. Not that I would actually be able to find him if Leo doesn’t want to be found. I swear that the Ancient One gave him superpowers the year he was in Japan. Leo will deny it but that’s just because he’s a very humble guy. He doesn’t like the attention.

My head tilts when a soft sound catches my attention and I glance toward the kitchen. I smile.

Bingo.

Either Leo is in there getting tea or one of our brothers is up. My eyes flicker up to Raph’s and Donnie’s room, but their doors are still closed so I think they’re still asleep. I sniff the air. It doesn’t smell like coffee.

Yup, Donnie’s for sure still asleep.

Biting my bottom lip, I glance down at the bundle in my arms. Should I postpone breakfast to give everyone everything? Or should I wait? Let them eat and then give them their gifts and the surprise?

I weigh my options carefully. If I wait, I can make sure that everything is good and not damaged and maybe make them look more like gifts. And only Leo and Sensei know about them and won’t jump down my throat for them right away, unlike Raph who would try barging into my room if he finds out I have presents for them.

Shooting Raph’s closed door another look, I make my decision. As stealthy as possible, I start creep across the floor toward the stairs.

“How was Ms. O’Neil, my son?”

A squeak slips from me as I whip around. Master Splinter stands in the doorway of the kitchen, a cup of steaming tea in hand. His dark brown eyes sparkle as he studies my face before glancing down at the bag in my arms. He takes a small sip before tilting his head.

“I see that you were able to retrieve your items from her.”

My eyes flicker down to the bundle in my arms and I hug it closer when Leo suddenly appears near Master Splinter shoulder. His eyes narrow as he takes in the full bag and his honey brown eyes flicker up to my face.

“What do you have there, Mikey? That looks like quite a bit for having ‘forgotten’ something at April’s.”

My snout wrinkles when Leo crosses his arms but Sensei stares at me in amusement. He sips his tea quietly as Leo merely stares me down. Swallowing thickly, I shuffle a little more toward the bedrooms, hoping maybe to make it there with Leo waking up our still slumbering bros.

Why do I have to be related to two super ninjas? And why do they have to be the ones awake right now?? I mentally whine as I try not to squirm too much.

“Michelangelo.”

Flinching, I glance back at Leo while Papa continues to just look highly amused. You’d think that my own father would either stand up for me or be the one demanding to know what I’m holding. Not my older brother.

Pouting, I glance off to the side.

“It’s nothing, Leo. I just had some stuff go to April’s and she was holding them for me.” I shrug with one shoulder. “But, uh, this is getting a little heavy, so I’m just gonna go…put it in my room.”

“Mikey!”

Without another thought I take off for my bedroom, not even bothering with the stairs and just leaping up to the second floor. I hear Leo grumble under his breath as he takes off after me. A tiny smile forms on my lips as I manage to slip into my room and shut the door right before Leo reaches me. An annoyed huff reaches my ears through the door and I can’t help but giggle as I swiftly lock my door.

“Sorry, Leo! I’ll be out in a moment!” I call out as I hurry to hide the bag inside of my closet.

No matter how curious Leo is, I know that he won’t just go through my stuff without permission. Unlike Raph…

Smiling proudly, I close the door and turn toward Klunk, who yawns loudly from his place on my bed.

“Morning, Klunkers,” I coo before walking over and scooping my furbaby up. I rub his ears. “Guess what? Daddy got his gifts! So now step one for mission “Help Big Bros Relax” is in motion!”

“Mrew!”

I smile warmly as Klunk chirps at me and my heart melts as he rubs against my chin. At least there is one thing I can rely on and that’s Klunk always being there for me and trusting me. Pouting, I bury my face into my furbaby’s soft fur, happily soaking in the quiet vibrations from his purrs. It’s almost therapeutic on how much his purring helps me relax.

Just like Leo should be now that he’s home.

Honestly, you’d think with Sensei having gotten after Leo, my big brother would be far more chill once I return home. Not even more high strung! Okay, so maybe I took a few moments longer than I promised, but c’mon! I’m not just gonna appear at April’s, grab my stuff, then run. Not when I’m not in a true hurry or being chased by someone. That’s just rude! And nobody is rude to my big sister. It’s not allowed. And I know for a fact that she wouldn’t allow me to just dip in and run. Not that I would want too anyways. I love chatting with April. It’s a nice contrast from how I talk with my bros. My bros tend to prefer to remain to themselves, not being as social as me. And I know that me constantly wanting to be around them bothers them. But April is pretty social too and is always down for chatting with me, whether it be to just nag on a new show or movie that we just watched or to go over new recipes that we want to try. Just stuff that my bros aren’t really into, but I still want to talk about and I want the person I’m discussing it with to engage with me. Not just let me ramble.

But having three more introverted bros than myself can make those types of discussions hard.

But the presents I got them will allow them that relaxing alone time that they deserve and need!

Smiling, I glance down at Klunk as he continues to rub against me, purring contently. Kissing the top of his head, I hug him closer to my chest before heading to my door. Pausing, I bite back a sigh as I sense a familiar (and vaguely irritated) energy standing guard outside my door. I spare Klunkers one last look with him staring back with large innocent green eyes, not even aware of the possible danger that we both will be in once I open this door.

Might as well just get it over and done with. Besides, all of this is for my bros sake, so they can wait a little bit longer before getting their presents.

Squaring my shoulders, I nod to myself and open the door.

Only to come face to chest with an irritated Leo. A sigh finally escapes me as Big Brother crosses his arms and gives me his ‘Leader Stare’. He’s just mad that I managed to make it inside my room before he could catch me. He might have had training with the Ancient One and then his own private training in South America, but I will always be the fastest one of us all.

But Leo likes to play dirty and set up traps. Surprised he didn’t booby-trap my room while I was gone so that I couldn’t just run and hide in there like I did. Unless Sensei sidetracked him on purpose while in the kitchen so he wouldn’t be able to.

Fighting back an amused snort, I pout up at my brother while cradling Klunk. When the silence stretches on, I roll my eyes at my bro’s behavior.

“Geez, Leo, it’s honestly just some stuff that I ordered and had shipped to April’s. And Sensei was chill with me going to pick it up, why are you so upset?” I hug Klunk closer to my chest. “I even came back in one piece! Not a single Foot Ninja or Purple Dragon was in sight!”

As soon as the words leave me mouth, I tense as Luisa enters my mind. Her eye twitching as she stares Mirabel down after yelling at her.

I hide my nerves, and it worsens…

Wincing, I drop my gaze.

I worry that something is gonna hurt us…

Shell. I really suck at trying to reassure my bros and keep them relaxed. Here I’m trying to lessen their stress and I’m adding onto Leo’s at every turn I get.

I’m just walking chaos, aren’t I?

Swallowing thickly, I tuck my chin to my plastron, allowing Klunk to rub against my face once more.

“I’m sorry, Leo,” I mutter into Klunk’s orange fur, cutting Leo off as he opens his mouth. “I know you’re just worried. I’m not trying to be difficult. I just…don’t think this is something you need to stress over, ya know? I’ve gone to pick up packages from April’s by myself a ton of times.”

I peek up at Leo, his face unreadable and I quickly drop my gaze back down to Klunk. I think I’ve broken my record on how fast in one day that I can skyrocket my bro’s blood pressure.

“Mikey…”

Shrinking back, I glance up at my eldest brother. When our eyes meet, Leo sighs and drops his arms. My eye ridges furrow as a chuckle escapes my brother in blue and he places a hand on my head.

“Don’t look at me like I’m gonna kill you, little brother.” His eyes flicker over my face. “But you promise that you didn’t run into any problems on your way there or back?”

Relaxing a little, I smile and lean into my brother’s warm hand.

“I promise, dude. There and back, nobody but April saw me. She even gave me a doughnut! It was delicious.”

Leo chuckles again as he lowers his hand and wraps an arm around my shoulders as he leads me back down to the main floor.

“Did she now? Does that mean that you won’t want any of the eggs or bacon that you made for us?”

My eyes widen.

“What?! No! I’m still gonna have some as well! I made it for all of us! I gotta make sure it tastes okay!” I pout. “But if Don and Raphie sleep any longer, everything is gonna get cold and then Raph is gonna nuke his too long and get them all crispy and Donnie won’t eat because he doesn’t like cold eggs.”

“Then I suggest one of you go and wake your brothers,” Master Splinter’s voice filters up from the kitchen. Sensei’s eyes sparkle as Leo and I enter the room and he watches us as from his spot at the table.

Sighing, Leo releases me.

“I’ll do it. Since it appears that you have an extra mouth that needs to be fed.”

Smiling, I glance down at Klunk as he licks his lips and chirps at me.

“You hungry? Huh, Klunkers?” I kiss his head and set him down on the floor. “Don’t worry, Daddy will feed you.”

I hear Leo chuckle as he quietly leaves the room and I start rummaging around, searching for Klunk’s food. Raph’s been known to move Klunk’s food to the top shelf of our upper cabinets, so I’ve taken to moving Klunk’s food to the lower cabinets and hoping that Raph won’t find them.

My eyes narrow as I open the cabinet that I last recall seeing Klunk’s food in.

It’s empty.

Seriously, Raphie-boy? You really wanna start this? At this time of day? Well, I’m down. We’ll be together for two full weeks, you better be prepared after you’re relaxed. The Mikester will strike when you least expect it.

Turning, I glance up at Raph’s usually place for putting Klunk’s food.

“Is there something wrong, my son?”

Jumping, I glance behind me. Master Splinter stares at me over his tea, a single eyebrow cocked as he watches me. Oops. I almost forgot that Sensei was still in here with me. He’s usually still meditating at this time. Heat spreads across my cheeks as I offer my father a smile.

“Uh, nah, Sensei. Just tryin’ to find Klunk’s food.”

Master Splinter nods slowly, his smile barely hidden behind his mug.

“I see. And have you thought about asking your brother about where it might be?”

My snout wrinkles at the thought of dealing with a cranky Raph. He never enjoys having people waking him up and knowing that it’s gonna be LEO waking him up… That’s just a yikes in and of itself. I can already hear the shouting.

Good thing we don’t have any training today.

I cough into my fist, hoping to hide my displeasure as Sensei continues to watch me.

“Um, I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Sensei. Raphie is usually pretty cranky in the morning.”

Master Splinter hums, taking a sip of his steaming tea.

“I see. Though, I was not referring to Raphael, Michelangelo.”

Pausing, I slowly look at my father. My eyes narrow as I process my father’s words.

If he’s not referring to Raph, then who is he…

A lightbulb explodes in my head and my eyes widen as my mouth falls open

“You mean LEO moved Klunk’s food?! Why would he…”

I trail off.

I know why Leo did it. It’s his way of getting revenge for not letting him come with me to April’s. How could he?! It’s one thing to mess with me. It’s a WHOLE other thing to mess with my baby!

Oh, Leonardo, Leonardo, Leonardo. You’ve messed with the wrong turtle, big brother. Be prepared for some retribution during our time up north.

Grumbling, I walk over to the cabinet that Raph usually hides Klunk’s food in and open it. A displeased scowl forms on my lips as I stare up at the empty top shelf. Klunk meows and chirps at me, rubbing against my shins.

“I know, babys, I know,” I mutter with narrowed eyes. “But Uncle Leo has decided to become a menace to society this morning and has hidden your food from me.”

“M’rnin’.”

I merely lift a hand in greeting as I hear Raph stumble into the room, yawning loudly as he sits at the table. I throw open another cabinet only to also find it void of any cat food. My eye ridge twitches as I move to some of the lower cabinets. Still empty. An amused snicker sounds behind me but I merely ignore my unhelpful older brother as I move to the only other cabinets that I haven’t checked yet. Under the sink.

“Problems there, bro?”

Not yet, but there will be if I can’t find Klunk’s food in the next five seconds, I think bitterly. “Leo better hope I can find Klunk’s food otherwise his bacon may just become a little more burnt than usual.”

More snickers fill the air as I crawl further under the sink. Still freaking EMPTY!

“Looking for something, little brother?”

“Gah!”

SMACK!

Yelping, I hold my head as bottom of the sink tries it’s best to smash my skull in. Tears prickle my eyes as I sit there for a second, spots dancing in my vision for a second.

Ugh. Can anything else go wrong?

Warm hands gently grab my shoulders and help guide me out from under the sink. Concerned brown eyes scan my face as I pout at Leo.

“Shell, Mikey. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Leo says as he tilts my head forward. “Don, did he rip any of his stitches?”

A huff escapes me as another set of hands touch the back of my head, calloused fingers prodding gently at my still healing wound.

“No, it looks like he hit further up.” Don tsks before leaning forward and smiling at me over my shoulder. “You’re really trying to give yourself a concussion here, bro. You’ve already got a nice bruise forming. Do you feel any dizziness? Headache? Spotty vision?”

“Does mild irritation count as a symptom of a concussion?” I grumble, throwing our eldest brother a withered look.

Donnie chuckles quietly as he stands and starts rummaging through the cabinet over the sink.

“Not exactly what I’m looking for. But just to be safe, I want you to take two ibuprofens.”

I hold my hand out as Leo helps me stand and Donnie places two white and red pills into my palm. My snout wrinkles as I stare at them, but I know Don will just badger me if I don’t take them.

“What were you doing under the sink anyways?” Leo asks as he hands me a glass full of water.

Popping both pills, I fight the urge to gag as I swallow them both with a large gulp of water. I then turn another look at my brother.

“Like you don’t know,” I grumble. “Of all my brothers, I would have thought you would at least respect keeping Klunk’s food where I can reach it.”

Leo’s eye ridges furrow before he frowns.

“Mikey, I didn’t hide Klunk’s food.”

My eyes narrow.

“Oh? Then where is it? Because I sure as shell can’t find it!”

Dry amusement flickers on my brother in blue’s face and he shifts slight to the right, gesturing toward the table. Embarrassed heat burns at my cheeks as I spot the container with Klunk’s food sitting on the tabletop. I shoot Leo a sideways glance, biting my bottom lip. He merely smiles at me and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

“I grabbed it from the top shelf where SOMEBODY ELSE had put it,” Leo states, throwing an overly innocent looking Raph a glare. “And I put it on the table for you, since I figured you hadn’t fed Klunk yet since it’s not where you normally put it.”

Guilt stabs at my gut as I nod.

Shell. And here I thought Leo was just being a jerk about me not letting him come with me to April’s. Now I just look a humungo shellhead for getting so huffy with him.

“Oh…Uh, thanks, Leo,” I say softly, rubbing the back of my neck. “I…I didn’t see it there. Sorry.”

Leo chuckles as he nudges me toward the table. However, before I can grab the food, Leo plucks it up with a smile.

“It’s fine, Mikey. I don’t blame you for jumping to the conclusion you did. I should have told you it was there.” Leo’s smile widens a little and I eye my brother warily. “But this does mean we need to work on your perceptive skills. Gotta always be aware of your surrounds, little brother.”

A groan escapes me as I sit down. Why does Leo need to turn everything into some sort of opportunity to train?

“Leeeoooo,” I whine. “It’s like 7 in the morning! Cut me some slack!”

“And yet you were just telling me that you were perfectly perceptive while going to April’s,” Leo retorts back as he fills Klunk’s dish as the orange kitten meows and chirps at him.

Mischievous brown eyes look back at me as I tense. I swallow as two sets of hard stares land on me, varying degrees of suspicion rising in my other older brothers.

Ah. This is the retribution… Sneaky Leonardo, very sneaky.

“You went to April’s this morning?” Donnie asks, hazel eyes narrowing as Raph also leans forward to stare me down. “Why?”

“Uh…Well…You see…” I stammer, shooting Sensei a look. But the amusement on his face is telling me that I’m on my own with this one.

Thanks Dad. Love you too.

“Said he had to pick something up,” Leo answers as he replaces Klunk’s food into the cabinet that I usually put it. “Sure looked like a lot more than just that, though.”

Raph frowns as his golden eyes study me.

“And what was so important dat ya had ta go at dis time instead of after trainin’?”

Dear lord! Am I not allowed to do anything without my bros getting suspicious?

“Sensei said I could!” I argue back, my voice taking on a slightly whiny note. “Besides, we don’t have any training this morning, so what does it matter? And April said I could come and get the packages now! I have the texts to prove it.”

I slump back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest with a pout. Don tilts his head to the left.

“’Packages’?” My immediate brother echoes back. “What ‘packages’? And what’s this about no practice?”

My mouth twitches as I glance at Sensei. His dark brown eyes watch me closely and I send him a silent pleading look. He inclines his head and lowers his mug to the table, allowing it to click, signaling to my brothers to quiet down.

“Your brother had ordered some packages and Ms. O’Neil was nice enough to let your brother send them to her residents and they arrived early this morning. So, because I canceled practice, I allowed Michelangelo go and retrieve his parcels.”

“But dat don’t explain why trainin’ is canceled,” Raph points out, shooting me a suspicious glare as I stare back innocently.

Master Splinter nods.

“Indeed. However, I do believe that your brother made all of us some breakfast and if we wait any longer, it shall go cold. Then, after breakfast, I shall explain why training has been canceled.” Mirth sparkles in Sensei’s eyes as he glances at me. “And your brother might just be willing to share what it was that he ordered.”

Amusement replaces my earlier irritation as I nod.

Geezums. And here I thought my bros were the only impatient ones. Guess I now know where they get it from.

“Well, den what are we waitin’ fer?” Raph states loudly and I nearly flinch at the volume. “Besides, I’m starvin’.”

Leo opens the microwave and pulls out the large platter I used for the food. I gently touch the aluminum and sigh as it’s still warm to the touch. Perfect. That means nothing should be too cold to eat.

Pleased, I sit back and let my family fill their plates as they see fit. April’s doughnut is doing well to curb some of my appetite and with how my stomach is flipping in excitement, I don’t know just how much I’ll be able to eat. Surprising, right? But, how can anyone eat when I know that my bros are gonna be in for the best two weeks ever. Sure, I have a bottomless pit of a stomach but doesn’t mean that it can’t take a break every once in a while.

I scoop a small mound of eggs onto my plate and place two pieces of bacon next to it. I place the platter in the center before a heavy silence reaches my ears. Glancing up, I nearly shrink away when I realize that my family is staring at me with wide eyes. Slightly freaked out, I cautiously pick up my fork.

“What?”

My bros exchange a look while Sensei eyes me. Don meets my gaze once more, a light frown on his face.

“Is…Is that all you’re having?”

I glance down at my plate then back up at my bros.

“Uh, yeah? Why? What’s the problem?”

“Ya usually finish off da rest when we have eggs and bacon,” Raph states gruffly, twirling his fork between his fingers before scooping up some eggs and shoving it into his mouth.

Blinking, I shrug as I stir my eggs around.

“Well, April gave me a doughnut when I stopped by so I’m not overly hungry.”

Raph coughs on a forkful of eggs and alarm flashes across Leo’s and Don’s face as they look at me. Rolling my eyes, I dig into my own eggs. Seriously, my bros find the weirdest things to be concerned over. First me getting packages and now me not eating as much eggs as I usually do. One would think that they’d be grateful that April gave me that doughnut. They’re always complaining that I eat too much so you’d think they’d be happy to have the extra eggs and bacon.

I frown as I shovel another forkful of egg into my mouth, something tasting off. Grimacing, I force myself to swallow it before placing my fork down. Maybe I’m not as hungry as I thought? Reaching down, I pluck one of my pieces of bacon and pop it into my mouth. I fight hard to not gag or spit it back out, the taste making my stomach roll.

Nerves suck! I love bacon! Man. Now Raph is gonna eat it all.

I push my plate into the center, letting my bros know that they can take the rest of my eggs and my last piece of bacon as well. Ignoring the sideways glances, I look at Sensei. His plate is already empty and his hands are currently wrapped around his still steaming mug. He meets my gaze before glancing around at the rest of the table. Everyone’s plates are empty with Raph finishing off my plate and Don standing to grab some more coffee.

Whoa, don’t remember the last time a breakfast went so quickly, I think as Don returns to his seat and Raph shoves my last piece of bacon into his mouth. Once Raph is finished, Leo turns toward Master Splinter.

“Sensei?”

Our father inclines his head, eyes flicking from each of us. I offer him an excited smile when our eyes meet and a small smile appears on his face.

“It has been brought to my attention that the four of you have been through some very stressful times recently,” Master Splinter starts. “Having Leonardo return home and then having to save our home once again. No, the WORLD, again. The four of you have been through much as of late and it is starting to take its toll on everyone here.”

Confusion flashes across my brothers’ faces and I can’t help but feel sad. Are they so accustomed to being stressed that they no longer know anything different? I glance down at my hands. We should have spotted this sooner. Stress shouldn’t be the default emotion that my brothers should have to feel.

“What do you mean, Sensei?” Leo asks, leaning forward. “What does this have to do with no training?”

Master Splinter smiles at my brother in blue.

“Quite a bit actually, my son. All of you have been doing very well during training. Especially for those who have not trained in such a way in a long while.”

Don and I exchange a look and then shoot our father a sheepish smile. A soft smile forms on our father’s face and he shakes his head.

“There is no shame in what happened, my sons. Life is always changing, and we need to adapt with it. And we have and we always will. However, even the most versatile being must take a step back and allow themselves to recoup. Something that Michelangelo and I had discussed last night.”

My sheepish smile widens as my brothers all look at me, curiosity swirling in their eyes. Fiddling with a crack in the table, I clear my throat as Master Splinter nods for me to speak.

“I, uh, asked Sensei if we could possibly go up to the farmhouse for a little bit. Just to decompress and stuff, ya know?”

Warmth fills my chest as each of my brothers brighten at the mention of the farmhouse, exchanging excited glances. It feels nice having them looking more like teenagers than the deadly warriors that they also are.

“Really?” Don asks, voice high with excitement. “We’re gonna go to the farmhouse? We haven’t been there in such a long time!”

“When do we leave, Father?” Leo asks causing Sensei to smile.

“I do believe that is up to your younger brother. Michelangelo?”

I jump at being directly addressed and I look at my father. He quirks an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah?” I ask, confusion hitting me at the amusement dancing on Sensei’s face. What does he mean up to me? It’s not like I’m gonna be the one driving…

OH!

I jump to my feet, heart pounding in excitement and I have to hold the table as the sudden movement causes my vision to blacken for a second.

“Mikey?”

“You okay, bro?”

“Oh yeah! Everyone, stay here!” I order as I do my best to maneuver around the table blindly without hitting anything.

“Does this have to do with the packages?” Leo calls after me but I only throw him a smile as I hurry from the kitchen.

Luckily, by the time I need to leap to the second floor my vision has returned, and I don’t have to worry about completely biffing my jump. Giddiness has my hands shaking a little as I hurry for my closet and I pull out the bag full of gifts, hugging it to my chest.

Everyone is gonna be so surprised! I just can’t wait to see their faces!

Giggling, I exit my room and leap down as gracefully as possible with my arms full of packages.

“All right, so I haven’t gotten a chance to sort them yet, but that’s okay,” I chirp as I re-enter the kitchen. “This was all kinda last second so it just kinda fits the theme at this point.”

“What did you do, little brother?” Don asks amused as he lifts his coffee as I place the bag onto the table.

Patting my belt, I frown as I don’t feel anything but my nunchakus. A kunai suddenly appears in front of me, and I shoot Leo a grateful look.

“I just thought that I could help everyone relax even more while we’re up at the farm,” I state, using the kunai to swiftly open the first package. And who woulda guessed? It’s Leo’s books. “Like Sensei said, everyone’s been super stressed lately and I thought, what’s a better way to get rid of that stress than going to the farmhouse? Doing things we all enjoy while up at the farmhouse!” I pass Leo the box full of books before moving onto another box. This one reveals the textbooks I got for Donnie. I push them toward my genius brother who gasps in surprise.

“Mikey…” Leo starts as he lifts one of the books out of the box, his eyes shining as he looks at me. “You didn’t have to get us anything, little brother.”

I shrug as I open the biggest box out of the bunch which reveals the two portable DVD players. I pass one to Sensei, who blinks in surprise and the other to Raph, who stares at it in confusion.

“I know that, dude! But I wanted to!” I state firmly with a smile as I open the smaller box inside the one with the DVD players. Perfect! Sensei’s stories and Raph’s wrestling tapes! I hand them to the respective owners.

My giddiness peeks as Raph’s mouth falls open and he quickly flips the box set over to read the back. Master Splinter stares down at his box for a moment then lifts his eyes to meet mine.

“My son…I truly appreciate this,” he says softly. “However, I already told you I was not going with you four to the farmhouse.”

My grin widens.

“I know, Papa, but I also told you I already got this stuff before we spoke. So, even if you would have said no, this stuff still would have come.”

“Mikey,” Donnie says, voice cracking a little and I glance at my shellshocked brother. “These…These aren’t cheap textbooks. And they’re first editions! How--?”

“You’d be surprised on what you can find on the internet, bro,” I answer cheekily overly proud of myself. “But Sensei said that we could leave after I got these for you guys. So, all you dudes need to do is pack and we can head out when you’re ready.”

My brothers exchange a look (which seems to be happening quite a bit this morning, yeesh). Leo finally meets my gaze.

“I…I think we need to do a little more than just us packing, Mikey. We need to—”

I wave a dismissive hand as Leo frowns at me.

“Oh, don’t worry about needing to pack anything else like tents or food or any of the jazz. I took care of all that last night. The BattleShell is already and rearing to go when you dudes are.” I beam at the shocked looks on their faces. “So, all you dudes need to do is pack for yourselves and load it into the back. Right, Sensei?”

There is an unreadable look on my father’s face that nearly has my smile slipping. However, it’s only there for a second because when I blink, it’s gone and Master Splinter is smiling at me again.

“That is correct, my son.”

“And…And how long will we be up at the farmhouse for?” Leo questions, his thumb swiping over the cover of one of his new books, a Samurai clashing with a Ninja gleaming in the dim light of the kitchen from the hardcover. Master Splinter glances at me and nods which has all three of my brothers looking at me.

“Two weeks,” I announce proudly.

The disbelief on my bros faces nearly has me in stitches. They’re so shocked!

Baby brother - 2

Big brothers - 0

Honestly this is going so much better than I planned. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect from my brothers but I’m pleasantly surprised and ecstatic by their reactions. I’m pretty sure I saw Raph tearing up a little bit, but I know I’ll get punched if I say anything and my head already aches from smacking it, so I’d much rather not ruin the mood at the moment. I can tease him later about it.

The sound of scraping wood on the floor brings me back to reality and I watch curiously as Leo stands. When he approaches me, I eye him a little but the next thing I know I’m engulfed in a warm hug.

“You really know how to keep us on our toes, you know that?” Leo mutters against my temple as he kisses my head. “Thank you, Otōto.”

Returning the hug, I rest my chin on Leo’s plastron and smile up at him.

“Don’t just thank me, bro. Sensei was the one who agreed to it all.”

“And we’re grateful for that that, too, little brother,” Donnie states, joining us in the hug session. Leo hands me over to our taller brother and I giggle as Don nuzzles my cheek. “But I do think Leo was talking about his books. And I can’t tell you just how excited I am about my new textbooks.”

I happily accept the snuggles, happy that my gifts are currently hitting the mark with each of my family members. A yelp escapes me when I’m suddenly tugged backwards and I fall into Raph. He wraps an arm around my shoulders in the front and, shockingly gentle, noogies my head.

“Ya sneaky little turtle you,” Raph gruffs as I laugh. “So, dis was what you were up ta last night. Cheeky little sh—”

“Raphael.”

I snicker at the contrite look on Raph’s face but the gleam in his eye tells me that he isn’t all that bothered about Sensei getting after him for almost swearing. Master Splinter stands and joins the four of us, my bros parting to give our tall father some room. He places a hand on my head.

“Thank you, Michelangelo. This was very kind of you. Now, I do believe your brothers have some packing to do. Hmm?”

At the hint (is it really a hint when Sensei says it outright?) Leo, Don, and Raph are suddenly in motion, hurrying out of the kitchen, scooping up their gifts as they go by.

Giggling, I wiggle excitedly as I look up at Sensei.

“Did you see how happy they were, Sensei?” I ask, nearly vibrating. “This is gonna be the best two weeks! They’re gonna be so relaxed and then some once we figure out how to distribute the load they have, ya know?”

Master Splinter chuckles, his hand soothing down the side of my face until he cups my chin.

“That they will be, my son. That they will be. But do not forget to allow yourself to relax as well. You are just as important as they are.” My eye ridges furrow as Sensei leans down and kisses my forehead. “Just please remember that.”

“Uh, sure, Sensei,” I say, nodding but not really sure why he is telling me this right now. Pushing it to the side to think about later, I lean forward and hug him tightly. “As long as you also remember that even Senseis deserve some relaxation, too. Especially ones who have to deal with four teenage mutant ninja turtles.”

Master Splinter laughs, a sound that we rarely hear and I’ve gotten to hear it twice in 24 hours. The day may not have started out all that great but it’s definitely looking up from here.

“I shall try to remember that, my child.” Mirth dances in Sensei’s eyes as he rubs my head again. “Now, you are all packed, correct?” I nod, earning myself another smile from my father. “Wonderful. How would you like to help me pack some snacks for the four of you to have while on the road?”

Perking up instantly, I detach myself from my father and hurry for the fridge.

“Oh, yeah! What should we make? Sandwiches? Muffins? Dumplings? Nah those will take too long. Hard boiled eggs?”

I pause when Master Splinter places a hand on my shell and guides me over to where our loaf of bread is.

“I think sandwiches cut up into fourths would do nicely. I shall grab the lunch meat. You make ones with peanut butter and jelly. Does that sound acceptable?”

Nodding, I hurry to grab the ingredients, bouncing slightly with each step I take. I can hear Sensei rummaging in the fridge and a tiny, content smile forms on my lips. In about 2 hours my bros and I will be on our way up to the farmhouse and one step closer on making sure that my brothers’ burdens have been elevated.

Phase 2 incoming, I think as I return to my spot next to Sensei, peanut butter in hand. My bros won’t even know what hit them.

Chapter Text

I can’t help but bounce in place as I watch my brothers loading their bags into the back of the BattleShell.

Master Splinter and I managed to make a small mound of tiny sandwiches as we waited for my bros to pack. I’ve already sent April a message about us getting ready to leave and just how surprised my big bros were with their gifts.

I giggle as another round of excited gifs flood my phone from the redhead before my ShellCell vibrates once more.

Glancing down, I grin.

April: You four drive safe now! And let me know when you arrive! <3 Love you all

Me: Will do! Looks like Leo won the role of chauffer for us today, so we all know that we’ll arrive by next week.

Snickering to myself, I belt my cell just as Sensei turns toward me. He holds out the lunch bag filled with our sandwiches, and I quickly take them.

“Now, make sure that you share with your brothers, Michelangelo,” Sensei says, a playfully stern look on his face. I blink innocently up at my father, pointing to myself in feign surprise. “I do not want to hear about you eating all of the sandwiches.”

“Who? Me? I’d never do such a thing, Sensei!”

Master Splinter gives me a skeptical look which causes my grin to return. Shaking his head, an amused smile morphs onto his face as he reaches up and rests a warm hand on my head.

“Of course not, my child. I am mistaken. It is one of your other brothers who surely will eat all of the sandwiches.” I snicker as Master Splinter raises an eyebrow at me before cupping my cheek. “I shall be waiting here, eager to hear how your two weeks goes. And remember to enjoy yourself as well.”

My eye ridges furrow as Master Splinter kisses my forehead but I keep my smile in place.

“’Course, Sensei! I always have a great time when hanging with my bros! And these dudes need the master of relaxation to show them how it’s done.”

Sensei chuckles, stroking his thumb against my cheek.

“They certainly do. Now, I must speak with Leonardo before the four of you leave. Off you go.”

I giggle when Master Splinter kisses my forehead one last time before he gently steers me toward the BattleShell. Waving, I climb into the back as Sensei approaches Leo, spying Donnie rearranging the bags. Bouncing over, I smile when Don looks up at me. He shoots a mock glare at me.

“Would you not bounce in here? You’re shaking the BattleShell.”

“I can’t help it, dude! I’m so pumped for us to get away for a while!” I clutch the sandwiches to my chest in excitement. “No bad guys. No training. Just us chillin’ and recouping from everything!”

Donnie cocks an eye ridge as he reaches out and takes the lunch bag from me.

“You’re going to crush our snacks, goof. And what’s this about needing to recoup?”

I freeze, watching as my genius brother places the sandwiches between the driver and passenger seat. Oh shell. I didn’t mean to say that!

Laughing nervously, I walk over to the chair behind the driver and plop down, spinning it for effect.

“Oh, well like, we had that fight with Hun two nights ago and like, all of the Winters’ stuff too. So, I just meant it’ll be nice to have a breather from it while not also worrying about Dragons and possible Foot.”

Don looks back at me, studying me with hazel eyes. Putting on an innocent face, I meet Don’s gaze as I slowly stop spinning. After a beat, Donnie chuckles and shakes his head. He walks up to me and places a hand on my head, rubbing gently.

“I guess that’s fair, little brother. A little R & R will be nice.” A giddy smile forms on my immediate older brother’s face. “And I can’t wait for the chance to sit down and start going through my cybernetics textbook! Thank you again, little brother.”

Embarrassment shoots through me as I rub the back of my neck.

“It’s nothing, Don. Just knew you’d like them, is all.”

Donnie cups my cheeks and presses our foreheads together. I blink up at him, my immediate older brother not usually this touchy feely. Especially so soon after being so huggy earlier.

“You really are something else, Mikey.” Don leans back and pats my cheek. “Now, help me rearrange these bags so they don’t go flying everywhere while Leo drives.”

Pouting, I hop up from my seat and start rearranging bags to Don’s liking. To be fair, by the time I was putting bags into the BattleShell I was crashing HARD. So, I kinda just threw everything in here, along with my own bags. Didn’t help I was expecting to have to train, so I wanted to make sure I got some sleep. But then Sensei canceled training, so I didn’t really need to rush so much.

But it allowed me to get up and get everyone’s gifts so I’ll take it, I think as I lift a tent and move it to rest against the back of the driver’s seat.

Knock! Knock!

“Yo, brainiac!” Raph calls out. “Da bags all sittin’ nicely fer ya?”

Don rolls his eyes as I snicker.

“Yes, Raph. The bags are all organized. And you’ll be thanking me when a rogue bag doesn’t bean you in the back of the head if Leo has to hit the breaks quickly.”

Raph snorts as he climbs in from the back and heads for the passenger seat, eyeing me as he passes. I stick my tongue out at him, earning myself a fond eye roll. He lazily swings at me, which I easily duck under before dancing away.

“With how Fearless drives, I doubt even WE’LL be movin’.” My hotheaded brother plops into his seat. “It’ll take da entire two weeks fer us just ta get up dere.”

Donnie and I snicker as we also take our places in the back.

“Hey now!” Leo’s voice calls from outside the BattleShell. “I’m not THAT bad! But there is nothing wrong with being cautious!” Our big brother pokes his head into the back end, an exaggerated frown forming on his face when Don and I offer him innocent smiles. “We don’t need to deal with being pulled over. And, unlike SOMEONE, I’m not gonna just outrun them.”

Raph scoffs.

“Dat’s ‘cause yer just a kill joy.”

“Ooooooo!” Donnie and I say at the same time, covering our mouths.

My spirits soar at the normal banter and I can already sense my brothers enjoying themselves. And we haven’t even left yet!

Another win for the Baby Brother!

Leo narrows his eyes.

“Oh? You think that’s being a kill joy, huh?” Donnie and I exchange a look when Leo suddenly smirks. “Then I think I’m gonna have to up the ante, now won’t I?”

Raph leans forward, his golden amber eyes widening before narrowing in suspicion.

“And what da shell does DAT mean?”

Leo blinks innocently but the devilish smirk that forms has me both excited and wary. Excited that my brother is loosening up to joke around and wary because I can see Leo taking Raph’s words literally and doing something with our training.

Oh shell. I so hope Leo doesn’t make us train while up at the farmhouse! I think suddenly. They’re supposed to be relaxing, not training!

“Ahem.”

Me and Donnie jump as Master Splinter appears behind Leo, raising an amused eyebrow at the four of us. My lips quirk when I see Leo twitch, obviously not expecting our father to appear behind him. Sensei places a calming hand on Aniki’s shoulder.

“Please remember that the four of you are going up to the farmhouse to RELAX,” Sensei states, turning a critical eye toward Leo, who smiles sheepishly. “I do not think any of you would want to waste all the hard work your brother has put into setting all of this up for you.”

Heat spreads across my face and I duck my head when everyone’s eyes land on me. A warm arm wraps around my shoulders and I peek up at Donnie as he squeezes me to his side.

“Well, I, for one, don’t expect to put my textbooks down until I’ve read them cover to cover.”

Raph snorts and the passenger seat creaks as he leans forward.

“So, what? We’ll see ya in like five hours?”

“Har har, Raph. I can speed read but not that quickly. No, that’s my way of telling you three not to bother me until I’ve finished reading.”

“And I am sure all of you can come up with a perfectly feasible plan on what you four will be doing when you arrive,” Master Splinter states, cutting Raph off as he opens his mouth. “Until then, I would suggest for the four of you to leave now as to avoid most of the heavy traffic.”

“Hai, Sensei,” the four of us respond and he nods.

“Very good. Drive safe, my sons. And have fun.”

I wave as Sensei closes the backend of the BattleShell. Once he steps away from the vehicle, Leo turns the key and the engine roars to life. Giddiness fills my chest as we pull out of the warehouse, the morning sun not even high enough to shine over the tall buildings around us, making the alleyway and roads dark. Which is just fine. I know that Leo hates driving in the daytime even if Donnie has tinted the windows to the point that no one outside of the BattleShell can see anything that is inside the vehicle. But, luckily, we’re far enough out from the inside of the city to not be hitting rush hour traffic right at this moment.

Raph starts fiddling with the radio, hooking up his cell so that we aren’t stuck listening to the news the entire way. Sorry, Leo, but the news? Such a drag. And this is the start of our two-week vacation! No dreary and sad news allowed! Only fun times and destressing is allowed. My bros are supposed to be using this time to focus on themselves. Them and only them.

Which reminds me, I think as I pull out my ShellCell and open the Notes app. I can use this time to start laying out a plan on how the loads can be distributed. This way I have a game plan for when I finally bring it up to my bros. Show them that I’m absolutely posititutely serious about this.

I giggle when Leo hits a pothole causing us to bounce and Donnie starts grumbling about the suspension and new tires. Deeming it too early for such worrying, I stand from my seat. Humming, I walk over and sit next to his legs, pressing my shoulder into his calf. His grumbles die down and he shoots me a look.

“And what do you think you are doing, Mikey?”

Beaming up at him, I loop my arm around his shin, using his left leg as an anchor as we bounce again.

“Sitting by my big bro, of course!”

Amusement and confusion dances on my purple-cladded brother’s face as he smiles at me.

“You sure you want to sit on the floor, bro? If Leo keeps hitting all the potholes, your tail is gonna be bruised by the time we reach the farmhouse.”

“I hit ONE pothole, Don!”

“One too many, Leo!” Donnie snaps back before looking back at me when I reach up and place a hand on his kneepad.

“Dude, I’ll be fine. After all the sitting we do during meditation, I’m sure I have buns and a tail of steel. Sitting on the floor ain’t gonna hurt me. Besides,” I say, pulling a pout as I press closer, enjoying the slight heat from my brother. “It’s chilly and you’re warm.”

Concern flashes on my brainiac bro’s face as I talk and he reaches down to press a hand to the top of my head.

“Chilly? You’re cold?”

Now that I actually think about it, yeah. Huh.

Nodding, I snuggle closer, ignoring the heavy concern on my brainy bro’s face.

“Leo? Would you turn up the heat?” Donnie calls out before addressing me. “Did you pack any sweatshirts? Do you want me to grab you one? Is your head bothering you?”

Shaking my head, I keep my face passive as my stitches pull my skin unpleasantly. I didn’t mean to worry Donnie! I was just trying to distract him from being a Grumpy Gills over Leo’s driving. Resting my cheek against his thigh, I start typing away on my ShellCell, keeping the screen angled down as I go so that my bro can’t see what I’m writing.

Not like I have a lot. All I have so far is ‘How To Keep My Bros From Becoming Martyrs:’.

“My head feels fine, honest. And I packed some but I’m totally fine, dude,” I state, grinning up at him as he narrows his eyes at me. “Besides, I got a living heater right next to me, what more could I need?”

My bro’s lips purse as he studies me, hazel eyes scrubbing me from head to toe to make sure I’m not secretly dying without him knowing. Pfft, like I would do that to my bro. They almost always know when I’m hurt or sick anyways so why would I try hiding it?

Donnie’s face softens as the tension leaves his body and he rubs my head before just keeping it there as he turns back to the computer.

“Well, if you need anything, just ask, okay? We don’t want you getting sick when we’re supposed to be on vacation.”

Nodding absentmindedly, I keep my head where it is as I stare at my phone’s screen, thinking.

Okay, Donnie is now distracted away from Leo’s weird driving. And, c’mon, give our big bro a break. He went two years without driving or even having a vehicle. It’s gonna take him a little bit to get back into the groove of New York driving. But, with that immediate problem solved, I can return to focusing at my original problem.

How can I help lighten the load on my bros in a way that they’ll be okay with? And in a way that won’t turn them off. I rub my cheek in thought against Donnie and he rubs his thumb over my brow.

This…is gonna be hard. Leo…he…well, he has never been one to reach out for help and when he does, it’s never with one of us. If anything, he shies away from it, especially when it’s one of us offering to help him. It’s why he had such a hard time after his defeat against the Shredder. He thought himself weak and that weakness would show if he reached out.

Which is just silly and wrong.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to reach out and ask for assistance. I do it all the time. Sure, my bros get annoyed by it, but like, I don’t wanna mess up Leo’s beautifully laid plan or be the reason one of my bros get hurt. And, if I ever tried to fix something electrical without going to Don for help, I’ll just end up as a fried turtle. And I’m sure fried turtle does NOT smell good.

Or maybe it does, I guess it would depend on who you ask.

My lips quirk as the heaters in the BattleShell finally kick on at full blast and the chilled air slowly vanishes and is replaced by beautiful heat. I sigh as Donnie’s fingers massage lightly at my temples and I can’t help but nuzzle closer as I shift into a more comfortable position.

I have about five hours to work on this list and another few days to tweak said list/plan. I think I can take a moment and just enjoy the warmth coming from the BattleShell and my big brother. Soak in the serenity radiating from my bros, something that my family hasn’t experienced in such a long time.

My eyes slide close. Silently telling myself that I’ll just rest them for a moment as I try to think of a way to get my bros to let me help them without them running for the hills. A soft sigh leaves me when Don’s fingers shift further back and expertly massage away a tiny ache I didn’t even know that I had.

Probably from smacking my head earlier, I think dully, leaning more of my weight against Donnie.

A gasp leaves me when I’m suddenly jerked to the left. My eyes snap open when I feel something in my hand twitch. My phone shouldn’t be moving like that!

A scream sticks in my throat when I glance around and instead of the inside of the BattleShell greeting me, clouds and open sky all around me saying ‘hello’ instead. My heart leaps into my throat when I look down and tiny little trees stare back. A whimper leaves me.

Shell. Oh shell. What in the world is going on? What happened to the BattleShell? And better yet, WHERE THE SHELL AM I?!

A whimper escapes me and I squeeze my eyes shut as my stomach rolls.

“Shh, Mikey. It’s okay. Everything is gonna be just fine, Otōto.”

My head snaps up and horror washes over me as Donnie smiles down at me. My gut falls to my dangling feet as I take in the dangerous situation that my immediate older brother is in. He’s hanging onto the edge of a cliff with one hand while also keeping me from falling to my untimely doom with his other, his grip tight and secure but not bruising on my wrist. Bile raises in my throat as he just stares down at me calmly, the hit of a smile on his face as our eyes meet.

“D-Donnie?! What…How…Who…?”

Air catches in my chest and I try not to wheeze as I glance back down.

“No, no. Don’t look down, little brother. Look at me.” I force myself to look back up. “I’m not gonna drop you, Mikey,” Donnie states calmly, almost too calmly for my liking of us literally dangling hundreds of feet in the air. “I can hang on a little longer. I’m not going to falter.”

My mouth dries. Where have I heard that before? Why does this feel familiar? I shake my head, clearing my thoughts as my eyes start to burn.

How can I get us out of this mess?! Where is Raphie and Leo? Did…Did they… I bite the inside of my cheek. No. Don’t think about that! Just focus on figuring out how to get at least Donnie back over the ledge. He’ll need both hands for that…But…But if he’d just let me go…

I breathe harshly through my nose.

“But…But you don’t have to hang around with me all day!” I call up, heart thundering in my chest. “You…You could pull yourself up, Don! Just let me—”

“If you even fucking SUGGEST for me to drop you, I will have Leo on your ass so hard you’d wish I talked to Raph instead,” Donnie snaps, cutting me off.

My mouth snaps shut and I stare up at Donnie in a mixture of horror, confusion, and awe. It’s not often my brainy brother swears. I think that I swear more than he does but even then, it’s not all that often for us both. It was more prevalent when Leo was gone, some of the more colorful words in both our mother tongue and English coming out whenever he and Raph would argue. But he rarely ever uses such language toward me. Even when I hurt myself and he patches me up, he’s almost never sworn AT me.

“Bu-But—” I stammer, unsure what to say to make the situation better and calm my immediate older brother down.

“We’re going to be fine, Mikey,” Donnie interrupts, tone softening and a tiny, sincere smile reappears on his face. “We just need to wait until Raphie or Leo get here to pull us up. You just hang tight and don’t panic.”

My mouth gaps like a fish as Don smiles. How is he so calm?! Has he called our bros already? No, wait, he doesn’t have a hand free so how would he? Then how does he know that our bros are coming at all?

Icy fear washes over me.

He doesn’t. He’s just banking on our big brothers getting here in time before his grip gives out.

Why…Why won’t he just drop me?! I think frantically as I resist the urge to look back down, half afraid that it will send Donnie off again. Why make Leo and Raph lose two brothers when they would merely lose one? I’m the dispensable brother, after all! It’s why I’m always the distraction. They don’t need me like they need Donnie. There is just no way that Raph and Leo will be able to function without Donnie. He’s the smart one! He’s the one who makes sure we don’t get sick. He’s the one who makes all those cool gadgets that have saved our lives time and time again. He CAN’T die because of me!

A strange pit forms in my gut when a strong gust of wind rushes by, shifting me and Donnie around like the sitting turtles we are. Biting my bottom lip, I shoot Donnie another panicked look. His eyes narrow when he notices me staring and his lips purse.

Okay, don’t start a fight. Maybe try to come up with a compromise first?

“Can you, I don’t know, swing me up then?” I ask, hating how my voice raises an octave as another gust hits us. “Kinda like when we are running across the rooftops and want to go farther? Then I could pull us up! We won’t have to wait for Leo and Raph!”

Donnie tilts his head, his hazel eyes studying me. I cling to his wrist with my other hand, hoping, PRAYING that he'll just swing me up and not just let us dangle here in the air while Raph and Leo do who knows what to find us.

“Do you not trust us, little brother?”

Come again?

My mouth falls open at the hurt tone in my brother’s voice. A sad look morphs onto Don’s face and my heart aches. It’s the same look he would get after a harsh argument with Raph while Leo was gone, and Raph had just stormed out of the lair. I HATED when he wore that expression. He was trying so hard to be a good leader while Leo was gone.

And now I’ve gone and put that look on his face.

Swallowing thickly, I squeeze his hand.

“Wha-What?! Of course, I trust you, Donnie! I trust all of you with my life! I just…” Words stick in my throat as I try to find a nice way to put my next thought. “It’s just, you know how Raph and Leo get! They’re total trouble magnets when they’re together. And we all know that Raphie isn’t gonna make Leo’s life easy and follow his orders to get here faster.” I offer my purple-cladded brother a lopsided smile to hide how hard my heart is pounding. I need to get him on solid ground and I can’t do that if he knows I’m panicking. I’m not panicking, YOU’RE panicking! “I just wanna make their lives easier and YOUR life easier, by not being an airhead and hanging around here all day, ya know? Besides, we’re strong! We’re ninjas! All you gotta do is swing me back and forth like in the circus and when you think the angles right, let go! I’ll land and then I’ll pull you up!”

Donnie narrows his eyes at me as I talk and my stomach sinks.

“Oh, so now I’m not strong enough to hold you up OR pull myself up? Geez, thanks, Mikey.”

I splutter at Donnie’s response, blinking wildly as I try to process Don’s sudden mood change. What in the world is going on?! That isn’t what I meant at all! Why is Donnie thinking that everything I’m saying is an attack on him?

“What?!” I squawk. “That’s not what I meant at all, dude! You’re totally strong enough to do both! I just…I just wanna help you! Why try doing it yourself when you can have a second set of hands to make your life easier?”

Don frowns at me and he tightens his grip on me. My mouth twitches as I try not to wince as the bones in my wrist start to grind together.

“Really sounds like you don’t trust that I have this situation under control, Michelangelo.” Don turns his snout away as my face crumbles. “You and I trained together since we were 5. Just because I prefer tinkering away on electronics and reading does NOT mean I am weaker than any of you.”

My gut twists painfully at my brother’s words.

Does Donnie really think that I think so lowly of him? If anything, Donnie is the STRONGEST out of all of us. Maybe not physically, because even I can admit that Raph is the strongest in that front, but most certainly mentally. Shell, he’s had to do SURGERIES on us at one point or another. Because, as much as he doesn’t want to be, Donnie has become our doctor. He's the only one smart enough to do so. He's literally had to stitch us all back together while remaining calm and not letting what he's doing, like resetting bones, making sure our lungs don’t fill with blood, keep us from falling into a coma, get to him. He’s so strong and he’ll complain a little about it but never in the moment. He's always ready, determined, focused.

But, he’s also so much MORE than all of that. He’s my kind, considerate, loving, big brother who will drop everything to help someone. Can’t he see just how awesome and amazing he is? He’s so much more than just his mind.

Heat builds behind my eyes as I stare up at my brilliant brother.

“Don,” I croak out, using the hand not getting crushed to rub soothingly against his wrist. “I trust you with my life. I would follow you into a burning volcano. All you would need is to ask. I’d do it. I have never—”

The words die on my lips as a strange feeling in my gut is now a blaring “Red Alert” in my head. Something’s not right. Something’s not right and we can’t be hanging here like this anymore. Because something dangerous is somewhere nearby and I just know it’s going to find us.

But Don’s not gonna throw me, I think as my chest gets tighter and tighter with panic. And nothing I’m gonna say is going to change that. At least, nothing I can say fast enough for him to believe my sincerity in it. My gaze locks on where Don’s iron grip is bruising my wrist. I purse my lips. Don’s gonna hate me forever.

Taking a deep breath, I start prying at his fingers. Instantly, Don snaps his attention down to me.

“What the FUCK are you doing, Michelangelo?!” Donnie all but screeches at me. “Are you trying to make me dro—” I shoot Don a look when he falters and his hazel eyes are wide and his face pales. “No. Please, Mikey, don’t do this. Leo and Raph are—”

“You have to, Don,” I say, cutting him off. “Something is coming and it’s not Raph or Leo and I really don’t think that they’re gonna get here in time. So, drop me. I…I’m sure if I land right, I could probably survive the fall. Just, you gotta drop me and pull yourself up, Don. Please!”

“No!” Don snaps, squeezing harder on my wrist causing me to whine. “I’m not dropping you, Mikey! We’re gonna get out of this together!”

Air hitches in my throat and I shake my head, hand trembling as I try to work my fingers between his. Shell! His grip is like freaking STEEL.

“Donnie, please,” I plead, shooting the ledge frantic looks as my anxiety builds upon itself. “You gotta drop me. Leo and Raph can’t survive without you. And we’re sitting ducks for whatever is heading our way if we continue dangling here. You have a chance to survive if you just climb up the wall. And I don’t think I’ll gain enough momentum in time to pull you up before whatever gets here. So, please! Just DROP ME!”

“Oh, I think I can help with that.”

My fingers stop working against Donnie’s as a familiar gravelly voice cuts through the air. Dizziness washes over me as ice fills my veins.

No. Please, no. Anything, ANYONE but him.

He can’t be here. We stopped him. Leo literally put his blade through his chest, directly through his heart, killing him. He’s dead and he’s so not here right now, talking to us.

Mouth watering unpleasantly, I look up and my body just goes numb.

Staring down at us is Oraku Saki, aka the Shredder. Aka, our crazy, bloodthirsty uncle. His metal helmet gleams in the sunlight and there is a crazed look in his dark brown eyes. I can just imagine the twisted, evil smirk that he has on his face under that face shield and the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

Shit.

“Shr-Shredder!” I gasp as he laughs, obviously amused by my horror. My entire body trembles as he stands to his full height at the ledge.

Oh, kami. We’re so gonna die.

“Mikey, I’m not gonna drop you.”

My focus returns to Donnie and I stare at him, bewildered.

“D-D-Donnie,” I stammer out. “I…I don’t think that’s our biggest concern right now! I think tall, dark, and metal is a little higher on the priority list right now!”

Donnie shakes his head as the Shredder laughs.

“Everything is going to be just fine, Mikey. Leo and Raph are on the way. We’re gonna be okay.”

What the SHELL is Donnie rambling about? Doesn’t he see that we’ve gone from a code “Hanging” to a code “Sharp and Pointy”?

“Donnie, plea—”

“Why don’t I help the two of you out of this steep situation?” Shredder states, sweeping one arm out to get his left gauntlet blades to lengthen. Terror floods my chest as he aims directly at Don. “After all, an uncle should always help his nephews. Don’t you agree?”

“NO!” I cry out as times slows down.

Shredder slams his gleaming blades down, hitting Donnie directly behind his neck in that little space where our shell sticks up. The sound of blades piercing flesh filling the air as a scream sticks to my lips. I barely register Don’s hand going slack around my wrist, too busy watching as the life leaves my brother’s eyes almost instantly, blood rushing from his mouth and splattering down on me. The Shredder lifts his blade up, Donnie somehow still attached to the end, and the two get smaller and smaller as I continue to fall away.

Shredder’s laugh echoes all around me as I finally scream, frantically grasping for my big brother as hot tears pour down my cheeks.

Oh, kami. Not Donnie. Please not my Onii-san!

“DONNIE!” I scream out before the air is knocked from as I jerk forward.

My face collides with something cold and solid; pain shooting through my snout. My gasps are the only thing I can hear through the panicked buzzing in my mind as I numbly remain where I’m at. My brain whispers that I should also be dead right now, the sudden stop should have killed me from the height that Donnie and I were at. But I shove that thought away as I finally breathe out, a sob escaping me. Images of my big brother hanging limply from Shredder’s blade flash behind my eyelids as I squeeze my eyes shut.

Donnie’s dead. Oh lord. He’s dead and it’s all my fault. He’s dead and this is my punishment for letting him die, forcing me to continue living without him.

My entire body trembles as I continue laying there, hiccupping and coughing. What’s the point in moving? One of the sweetest people alive was just murdered right in front of me and I did nothing to prevent it.

Tears gather at my snout and I can’t tell if snot is running from my snout or blood.

I want my big brother. I want Donnie, I think, whimpering as more hot tears spill from my eyes. I WANT MY ONII-SAN!

Something warm brushes me and I flinch. When the warmth persists, I choke on my spit and cough as I try to curl away. I vaguely register it as hands as they continue groping at me. When I realize that they’re not going to leave me alone, I allow them to grab me and maneuver me to their liking. Numbly, I stare at the floor, the back of my mind poking me about something but I’m tired of listening to my mind. Why can’t it just shut up for a moment and let me grieve in peace?

The warm hands move up to my face, cupping my cheeks. Large, callused thumbs stroke under my eyes, catching my mask as they smear the hot, fat tears. My mind is still full of static so I can't tell if whoever is with me is talking or not, but I just don’t care.

Donnie…

Another sob rips from me and my eyes clench shut so hard that it makes my head ache. The hands tilt my head up but I refuse to look at whoever is here with me. Too scared to see if it’s one of my older brothers. Because if it is, I’ll have to tell them that Donnie is dead and I can’t do that. I just can’t. Because it should have been me who died. Either from the fall or from the Shredder. I could have bought Donnie time.

Why didn’t he just let go?

Fingers tap on the sides of my cheeks, asking for my attention. Shaking my head, I try to fold into myself not wanting to face whoever this is, but the hands won’t let me. The person scoots closer, their knees bumping my toes. Distress and confusion radiates from them, mixing with my despair unpleasantly. Pressure builds in my chest and I press a hand to my chest, crying harder.

It hurts so much.

A third hand appears on my shoulder and I freeze in confusion. A mixture of calm and concern radiates from the direction of this new hand and my mind instantly screams SWORD and GUARDIAN.

Leo… Oh kami no.

Leo’s hand strokes the top of my head and I can feel him scooting right up next to me. His plastron rubs against my left arm as his hand runs down to join the other hands on my face. The other hands vanish as Leo takes my chin, turning my face toward him. A forehead braces against mine and puffs of warm air hitting my throbbing snout tells me that Leo is speaking.

Probably asking me what’s going on and where Donnie is, I think, sniffling. Leo moves his hand from my chin to brace the back of my head, his fingers rubbing circles near the base of my skull, fingers skirting close to my stitches but never quite close enough to touch.

“—eathe, Otōto. Everything is all right. You were merely sleeping and had a bad dream.”

Confusion fills me as Leo’s voice finally breaks through the buzzing in my ears. What does he mean everything will be all right?! Donnie’s DEAD! That’s not “all right”!

“Shh, Otōto,” Leo mutters when I whimper, choking on my words when I move to speak. “Don’t work yourself up. Just take a deep breath and release it nice and slow. You can do it. I believe in you.”

Hating the thought of further disappointing my eldest brother, I follow his instructions. Wetting my lips, I drag in a shaky breath, the air rattling in my chest until I hold it. After a beat, I release it slowly while Leo’s fingers continue to massage my pounding skull.

“Good. That’s good,” Leo praises, nuzzling me as I repeat the process over again. “Now, can you open your eyes for me?”

Too mentally tired to fight anymore, I reluctantly pry my burning eyes open. Blurry honey brown eyes and a leaf green face greet me for the brief moment I have my eyes open. However, there is so much light surrounding us that my head decides that the darkness my lids were providing is a much better option right now.

“Raph, can you start the engine? The lights are bothering Mikey,” Leo calls out, leaning back. Panic surges in me and I reach out, squinting at him.

“Don’t—” I croak as Leo hushes me when the area is flooded with darkness.

“Shh, Mikey, it’s okay.” Leo strokes my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. I was just giving Donnie room to look at your snout.”

My body freezes and my breath hitching and my heart jackhammering against my ribs. Did he…Did he just say…?

“Do-Donnie?”

Someone shuffles around to my right and the feeling of BO and HEALER finally hits me and I force myself to open my eyes fully.

It can’t be true. I just saw him die. But…But I can SENSE him now. I can feel his presence.

My body trembles as I turn my head toward the other being. I need to see for myself. I don’t care if it hurts. I need to see. I need to make sure he’s real. An olive blur comes into view and I blink enough to make some purple appear. The pain in my face and head all but vanish as disbelief and relief crashes into me as Donnie’s face finally emerges from the blurriness.

“Don?” I whisper again, reaching out, unable to truly believe that he’s there.

A large hand catches mine and holds firm. Large, warm, callused, ALIVE.

“Hey, little brother,” Donnie says, concern written all over his face but a relieved smile tugs at his mouth. “You sure know how to make a trip up to the farmhouse interesting—Whoa!”

My body moves before I can properly think and I launch myself at my brainiac brother. My arms wrap around his neck in a tight embrace as my legs encircle his waist as we collide. Burying my face in the crock of his neck, I tremble as cautious arms hold me close.

“Mikey?” Donnie murmurs against my temple, rocking us and I can practically taste the confusion radiating from my immediate older brother. “Little brother, what’s wrong?”

The tears return full force as I soak in the feeling of my brother being here and being very much ALIVE.

“You…You were dead! He killed you and all I could do was fall,” I whisper, pressing closer, hiccuping. “I’m so sorry. All I did was fall because I couldn’t save you and he stabbed you and you were dead when I should have been the one who died.”

Concern fills the air but Don doesn’t stop his rocking. Leo presses his hand to my shell, scooting closer as I continue crying. The sense of relief and joy that is spreading through my body is the best feeling in the world at the moment and all I want to do is keep my immediate older brother close and never let him go.

“Leo?” Raph’s gruff voice calls out softly and I tighten my grip on Donnie as he shifts.

“You can start driving, Raph,” Leo answers. “Seems Mikey had a nightmare about Don dying. I’ll let you know if we need to stop again.”

Driving?

My thoughts vanish when Donnie adjusts so that he is completely sitting on the floor with me in his lap. Once his carapace taps the wall of the BattleShell, he takes over rubbing my shell as Leo moves up to knead at my shoulders. Security and safety surrounds me and I sag in exhaustion against my brother’s solid form.

Shell. I’m so tired.

“Mikey, Otōto, as you can see, I’m not dead,” Donnie says softly, nuzzling me as I hum. “It was just a bad dream. You’re safe. I’m safe. Nobody here is dead or going to hurt us.” Donnie pauses and I can feel his eyes on the top of my head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Curling into my brother, I grasp the lip of his plastron, my stomach twisting as I tuck my head against the spot where Donnie’s chest becomes flesh. The steady and strong rhythm of his heartbeat is the best music I have ever heard. Squeezing my eyes shut, I focus on the steady rhythm under my ear.

Do I gotta? I just wanna forget it ever happened.

“Just take your time, Otōto,” Leo whispers encouragingly as Don rests his cheek on my head. “There is no rush. We’re here for you.”

Give it to your sister, your sister’s stronger…

“Talk to us, Otōto. Don’t shut us out. We wanna help you.”

See if she can hang on a little longer...

My snout wrinkles as the image of Donnie dangling above me flashes in my mind. Should I tell them?

They won’t leave me alone until I do, I think, fingers flexing in uncertainty. Might as well give them the abridged version.

“We, uh, we were hanging from a cliff,” I start quietly, shivering as Leo continues his massaging of my shoulders. “You were holding onto the ledge with one hand and with the other you were keeping me from falling. It was like totally scary. We were so high up. The trees looked like ants.”

Donnie nods.

“And we were the only ones there? No Leo or Raph?”

I nod, reaching up to take Leo’s hand. Leo squeezes back.

“Yeah. Just you and me. You kept telling me that everything was gonna be fine and not to worry. That Leo and Raph were coming to rescue us and you weren’t going to drop me.”

“And I wouldn’t,” Don states confidently as his arms tighten around me. My lips twitch into a smile.

“I know you wouldn’t. None of you would.” Even if you should. You wouldn’t have died if you would have just dropped me when I told you to.

“And then what happened, Otōto?”

My heart skips a beat and my stomach swoops. Swallowing thickly, I release Leo’s hand to trace along the lip of Donnie’s plastron.

“And then Shredder showed up,” I whisper.

Donnie and Leo pause in their movements and I worry my bottom lip. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything? Sure, it’s been a few years since we dealt with Shred-head, but we fought him for so long and he did so many things to try and destroy our family that it leaves something heavy and scary in the air when he’s mentioned.

Leo shifts closer to me and his fingers start up their kneading once more.

“And did the Shredder attack you and Donnie?”

My jaw clenches at Leo’s question and my hand lifts to my face where Donnie’s blood splattered down on me. I flinch when my fingers brush the sore spot on my snout. Sighing, I snuggle closer to Donnie and nod.

“Yeah,” I say softly, not really wanting to go into detail of just HOW Shredder attacked Donnie.

“And he killed me?”

A distressed noise slips pass my lips at Donnie’s question and his hands resume their rubbing.

I stare down at a spot on BattleShell’s floor.

“You…You had your hands full,” I mutter. “And I wasn’t able to do anything to stop him.”

A silence falls over the BattleShell and I can imagine my big bros exchanging a look over my head. But, right now, I don’t care. Right now, I just wanna bask in the fact that my immediate older brother, my brilliant, sweet, always putting other’s first, big brother is alive and hugging me. His heart beating steadily under my ear and his hands rubbing my shell.

Closing my eyes, I curl closer to him.

Well, that was a time. Hopefully I got whatever THAT was out of my system. Because, geez, how the shell am I supposed to help my bros relax and recharge when I wake up screaming from a simple nap?  A pout forms on my lips. I wasn’t even trying to sleep! I didn’t think I was that tired.

“Mikey?”

“Hmm?”

Leo chuckles and his hand moves to my head.

“How are you feeling now, Otōto? Feeling any better?”

Too tired to move, I merely nod my head.

“You’re not going to fall back to sleep, are you?” Leo questions, slight amusement in his voice as I refuse to open my eyes.

“No,” I mutter. “Just wanna sit here for a moment.”

“Good,” Donnie says, sighing. “Because I thought Leo was going to put us in the ditch when you suddenly screamed like you did.” Donnie stops rubbing my shell and just holds me against him, pressing his snout against my head. “I don’t remember the last time I was that scared.”

Guilt builds in my stomach and I shrink down, peeking a single eye open.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t even mean to fall asleep.”

“Ya were up late last night, Mike,” Raph calls from the driver’s seat. “Course ya were bound ta fall asleep. Shell, I’m surprised ya didn’t crash da moment we started driving.”

Leo ducks his head down to meet my gaze.

“And don’t apologize for something that you couldn’t control. Just…” Leo pauses, reaching out to press his hand to my cheek. “Just try to relax, okay? But, if there is ANYTHING else you’d like to chat about, to discuss, then we’re more than willing to listen, Otōto. Dreams are only ever that intense if something is going on and we want you to have a good time up at the farmhouse as well. You did so much for us to get this vacation and it wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t get to enjoy yourself.” I frown at my big brother as he rubs his thumb over my cheek, wiping at the drying tear tracks. “So, if there is anything you need to get off your chest, don’t hide it from us, okay? We’re here for you.”

Yeah, but who is ever there for you guys? I think as I lean into his touch. How can I be there for you dudes if I keep laying all my weirdness on you?

Sighing, I meet my eldest brother’s gaze and force myself to relax my face.

“I promise to talk to you dudes if something is going on,” I say softly as Leo’s honey brown eyes flicker around my face, checking my sincerity. “But I’m honestly good right now. I don’t know why my brain decided to have a freak out session.”

Leo’s lips twitch and his eye ridges furrow. However, when he opens his mouth to comment, I feel Donnie shake his head. Surprisingly, Leo heeds our brainy brother’s suggestion to not push me.

Donnie clears his throat and I tilt my head toward him.

“Are you absolutely certain you’re okay, little brother?”

I nod.

“Yeah, dude. I’m sorry that I scared everyone.”

Raph snorts but doesn’t comment. Leo strokes my cheek one last time, nodding as he stands.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Otōto.” A wry smile forms on Aniki’s face. “But let’s try to keep any screaming to a minimum until we are at the farmhouse? The BattleShell can handle going offroad, but we don’t need the cops to get called on us.”

Chuckling weakly, I shimmy a little in Donnie’s hold but only to make myself more comfortable. Sorry, big brother, but we’re not moving for a little while.

“I’ll do my best, Aniki.”

Leo relaxes and nods before slowly working his way back up front. I hear him mumble something to Raph in Japanese, but I can’t quite hear what is being said. I do see Raphie nod, tilting his head toward our big brother but otherwise remains silent.

“Mikey?”

Twitching, I tilt my head back and look up at Donnie. His hazel eyes flicker around my face before a tiny smile forms on his lips.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Are you absolutely positive that you are all right?” He asks, his voice muffled as he nuzzles me again.

Why are they so worried? I’ve had tons of nightmares before that I’ve woken up screaming from. Why are they freaking out about this one?

Smiling, I tuck my head under my brother’s chin and nod.

“Absolutely, dude. Like I said, my brain just decided to freak out for a moment, but otherwise I’m A-Okay.”

Donnie squeezes me, causing me to giggle.

“All right. I believe you, little brother. I am going to say, that we’re not gonna be able to stay in this position for the entire trip. I don’t wanna deal with a numb butt and tail.” Donnie shifts and a surge of panic shoots through me. I reach out and cling to him, earning myself a chuckle from my much taller brother. “You’re okay, little brother, you’re okay. Don’t worry, I’m more than happy to sit here for a little while longer with you. We’ve got another 3 hours to go, anyways.”

My eye ridges rise in surprise. Whoa. We’re already 2 hours into the drive? It did NOT feel like two hours while I was dreaming.

Which I’m not gonna complain about. I don’t wanna dream about me and Donnie dangling from a cliff for 2 straight hours that’s just, ick. I shudder causing Don to tighten his arms around me.

“Just relax, Otōto,” Donnie mutters. “Do you want anything for your snout?”

I shake my head.

“No, I just wanna sit here.”

“All right. We can just sit here.” Donnie leans back, placing his cheek on the dome of my head. “Just let me know when you’re good.”

Nodding, I sigh and reclose my eyes, my muscles aching from how tense I’ve been since I woke up. That was one of the scariest dreams I’ve had in a really long time. Almost worse than some of my birthday party nightmares that I had while Leo was gone. And it all felt so real!

And a massive pain, I think, wiggling my nose as it aches. But here is another strike against me in trying to get my bros to relax. Instead of having a chill drive, I nearly send us into the ditch. Good going, shell-fer-brains. And I definitely can’t work on my planning while in Donnie’s lap. He’ll see my screen. I pout. But I guess that’s fine. It’s not like we’re gonna be doing a lot when we get to the farmhouse, I can hide in the attic and plan while my bros do their own thing with their gifts. I’m sure I have about a day or two of my bros being distracted with their gifts which will be more than enough time to scheme and formulate the perfect plan to get my bros to let me help them. But…until then…I have a comfy and warm Donnie chair for the next little while and I’m not gonna waste it.

Chapter Text

A groan leaves me as I stretch toward the sky, my back popping and I roll my shoulders. The rest of the drive wasn’t eventful, thank my shell, and Leo even let Raph drive the rest of the way despite his smugness when we left about being the one who was to drive. It was still a little tense for the half hour after my little ‘Freak Out’ but once I allowed Don to move back to his normal seat, I think that signaled to my bros that everything really was alright.

For the most part.

But enough thoughts about that weirdness, this is a vacation to help my bros relax! I think before shivering as a breeze rustles the grass and trees around us. Now all I gotta do is get my bros to do their individual activities so I can work on my plans.

Putting a hand up to shield my eyes, I glance up at the cream-colored farmhouse and I breathe in deeply before sighing. We couldn’t ask for a better day though. The sky is a bright blue with large cotton candy clouds drifting by. The sun is shining brightly, and robins and crows are flying overhead, squawking, and singing, letting us know that spring is just around the corner.

I tilt my head back, ignoring how my stitches shift and my snout aches as I smile.

“Man, I forgot what it was like to breathe air that doesn’t have smog attached to it.”

“It does feel nice,” Don agrees, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and turns me back to the BattleShell. “But before you go galivanting off, help us unload the van.”

Before I can open my mouth two bags are shoved into my face and I pout up at Raph. His golden amber eyes narrow and I see his gaze flicker down for a second before he grunts.

“What? Just ‘cause ya packed da BattleShell don’t mean ya get outta unpackin’ it.”

Rolling my eyes, I take the bags with a huff.

“Never said I wouldn’t help, yeesh. You dudes are acting like I’d just go off and vanish on you.”

My lips twitch into a frown when Raph merely grumbles and hops down, brushing past me to head for the house. Concern bubbles in my chest and I shoot Don a questioning look. My brilliant brother only shrugs and climbs back into BattleShell just as Leo appears, poking his head out. He watches Raph retreating form until he reaches the front door. Honey brown eyes shift down to me and offers me a smile.

“Don’t mind Raph, Mikey. He’s probably just tired from the long drive.” Leo jumps down, shouldering one bag and holding a duffel bag in his right hand. “Which is only his fault as he wouldn’t switch off with me again. So, don’t worry about it. We all know that Raph falls into these moods, but they don’t last very long.”

My eye ridges furrow as Leo pats my shoulder and heads after our hotheaded brother.

No. No, that’s not right. Raph shouldn’t be grumpy! This is a vacation for my bros to have fun! To relax!

Did…did I somehow manage to mess everything up before we even got here? Was it because of my dream? Did I piss Raph off because he had to drive so that Leo could check on me? It’s not like I meant to have a dream like that! I didn’t even expect to fall asleep! I was just trying to keep Don from being the crabby one.

I shake my head.

Nah, that can't be it. Raphie loves to drive. He LIVES for it. So why would he be mad about having to drive? C'mon, Mikester, do better. There's gotta be another reason on why he's acting like a sour puss.

My fingers tighten on the bag straps, blinking rapidly when heat starts to burn behind my eyes. My lips purse as a surge of determination fills me.

I refuse to have their vacation start off like this. I’ll figure out a way to get Raph happy again before we go to bed tonight. Maybe I’ll make his favorite dish tonight. I packed away steaks and potatoes as a backup means to bribe Raph into being more open with his emotions if he decides to fight against the idea of needing a healthier outlet than just destroying his training dummy. I was hoping to hold off with this idea until maybe into our second week here, but, well, making sure that Raph can start his vacation out happy is more important than a possible scenario that has yet to happen.

Nodding once, I square my shoulders and plaster on my brightest smile. Humming, I hurry for the house, trying to enjoy the way that the grass feels under my feet. The dirt is still rather hard from recently having snow on top of it and I can spot patches of soft dirt in the driveway that looks like they once housed water. I expertly avoid one near the stairs, not wanting to track mud into Casey’s grandma’s house.

Upon entering the foyer, I spot Leo entering the kitchen near the back door and can hear Raph rustling around upstairs. Knowing that the bags that I’m carrying are extra blankets that we might need if the temps drop like the weather app says that it should, I make my way toward the loft stairs. I purposely make a few creak to let Raph know that I’m coming up, not really wanting my grumpy older brother swearing at me if I accidentally startle him.

Even if that’d be kinda funny, I think, snickering to myself at the thought of Raph getting all flustered then mad at me for making him jump. Maybe even squeak a little like I do, and he always makes fun of me for.

Reaching the top of the stairs, I peek into the loft. Raph is already over near the bed that he always takes whenever we stay at the farmhouse, furthest from the window along the wall to my right. Then directly across from the foot of his bed in the corner to my right is the bed Don normally takes. Leo’s bed is to my left, the second closest to the stairs with the bed that Sensei normally takes right next to the half wall lining the stairs. My bed is across from Sensei’s bed to my right, directly under the window.

My lips quirk as I spot all the folded blankets at the foot of each of our beds, something telling me that Mama Jones decided to make a pit stop up here at some point. I doubt it was because she knew we were coming, everything far too last second for that to be feasible even for her, but it’s a nice thought. Nice to think that she’s always prepared to let us bunk here. Knowing that this is the only place that we have to truly unwind safely.

Speaking of unwinding, I think, placing my bags next to my bed and shoot my red-cladded brother a look.

I can see the tension in his shoulders causing me to wince. He’s roughly unpacking something from his bag, probably the DVDs and portable player I got him.

Shell. Raph is really worked up.

Biting my bottom lip, I turn back to the bags, shivering slightly as I bend to grab one. My mind races as I think on how I can start getting my bro to relax. Normally, I would be willing to have him chasing me around, but my head is still aching from where I slammed my snout into the ground and where I smacked it under the sink.

And Don will have my hide if I accidentally tear my stitches just because I got Raph riled up and then Raph would feel bad about me tearing my stitches and he would return to his brooding and grumpy self which would destroy the entire reason why I started us roughhousing in the first place and then Raph wouldn’t be able to—

A gasp leaves me when the back of my neck prickles and I daftly step to the side. A split second later, a pillow hits the window and falls onto my bed. Blinking in confusion, I grab the pillow and stare over my shoulder.

My stomach drops at the irritated look Raph is giving me, arms crossed and lips forming a thin line.

“Why’d you throw this at me?” I ask with a little whine in my voice, a tad hurt as my fingers digging into the soft downy. I pout. “I wasn’t even doing anything!”

Raph scowls as he marches forward. My heartrate speeds up the closer he gets, and I lift his pillow as a tiny shield from the possible head smack coming my way. My jaw clenches when the pillow is ripped from my grasp and Raph crowds into my space. My hands stay where they are, but I know if Raph lashes out there’s not much I can do at this point.

Movement of his hand has me squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for the sensation and sting of when Raph smacks me upside the head.

What I’m not expecting is for calloused fingers to gently grasp my chin and tilt my face up. Startled, I cautiously open my eyes and peer up at my older brother. Raph doesn’t appear to notice as he focuses on a single point on my face. Specifically, my snout. His golden eyes narrow and I wet my lips nervously.

“R-Raph?”

“Ya’ve had a lot of dreams over da years, but I don’t recall ya ever reactin’ so violently ta it like ya did in da ‘Shell,” Raph states, his voice terse and his fingers flex on my chin. His golden eyes flicker up to meet my ocean blue. “Ya didn’t even realize ya were awake when ya came to, Mike. When was da last time ya had a nightmare DAT bad?”

My mouth opens for a split second only for me to register what my big brother just asked, and I snap it back shut.

How do I tell the brother that prides himself on being the “Protector” of the family that pretty much since I started working as Cowabunga Carl I’ve had reactions like that? But the difference? I just was always alone when they happened.

Okay, so maybe I never reacted THAT extreme, but I did have some nights where I woke up screaming and it took Klunk meowing at me to realize that I wasn’t being beaten by laughing twisted children or watching my entire family being slaughtered by a Cowabunga Carl mascot that came to life somehow and forced me to watch. But, since Leo came home those nightmares have died down because I no longer work as Cowabunga Carl. Nowadays, I do commissions for strangers online with my art, something that I kinda wish that I decided to do instead of going into the entertainment business, even if I DID make some really good money and tips.

A yelp escapes me when the hand on my chin squeezes HARD and I refocus on Raph. Anger is radiating from my brother even more and my stomach squeezes as I fight to not panic.

Shell. Shell. I’m taking too long to answer! And Raph’s just getting angrier by the second!

Say something shell-fer-brains!

Coughing, I open my mouth only to have Raph moves to squish my lips a little.

“Waph?”

“If ya dare try lyin’ ta me, Mikey, I ain’t gonna be pleasant,” Raph growls as he leans down. “Now, tell me, how long have ya been havin’ nightmares dat bad?”

Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt…

I fiddle with my fingers as I stare up at my buff big brother with wide eyes.

And see if she can handle every family burden…

“Mwy dweems usuawee aren’t dat bad, Waphie,” I answer honestly, tugging harder on my fingers. “I deedn’t meen for dat to hap-pin.”

Raph’s lips purse as he studies me, but I keep my face as open as possible with my hotheaded brother pinching my lips. After a beat, I’m starting to fear that Raph’s never going to let go of my face when he suddenly sighs. His grip leaves my mouth and his hands land heavily on my shoulders.

“Mike,” he starts solemnly, his fingers squeezing. “What ya just had in da ‘Shell ain’t no dream. Dat was a full-blown nightmare. And one vivid enough ta make ya unaware dat ya were awake. Dat ain’t okay.” His amber eyes flicker down before flickering back up to my ocean blue eyes. “Especially since ya reacted so violently dat ya smashed your beak hard enough dat a fuckin’ bruise is already formin’.” My hand flies to my face but Raph catches it. “I ain’t tryin’ ta make ya feel self-conscious about it, but…” Raph pauses, clucking his tongue as he glances off to the side, mouth twitching, his sign that he’s trying to find the right words.

Strong, thick emerald, green fingers flex on my wrist but not enough hurt. Anxiety builds in my gut when my hotheaded brother huffs in irritation, his eyes returning to my face.

“Raph?” I call out softly.

My brother shakes his head and I fall silent.

“Mikey, if dere’s something ya need ta discuss with us, discuss with ME, den say so,” Raph states, voice low and his piercing gaze searing into my own. “What just happened in da ‘Shell? Ain’t normal, bro. And if dat HAS been normal fer ya, den we need ta chat about it. I might not be as smart as Don, but even I know dat ain’t healthy. So, if dere’s somethin’ ya need ta get off yer chest, somethin’ dat needs to be discussed, den tell us. TALK ta us.” My hotheaded brother breathes deeply, like he does when he’s trying to keep his emotions under control, and it makes my chest ache to see how hard my bro is trying to keep himself in check. “I know… dat I ain’t da easiest person ta talk to. And… da last couple of years I made it even more difficult and… I’m sorry. I already spoke ta Don and apologized ta him, but he wasn’t da only one involved.” Raph’s golden gaze blazes with emotion but never drops from my face. “And I’m sorry dat it took me dis long ta talk ta ya about it. And if dat is why ya haven’t wanted ta talk ta me about dis,” Raph gestures vaguely as my heart hammers in my chest, “den I get dat. But I want ya ta know dat ya CAN come ta me. I ain’t good with words but I can listen if ya just want ta talk. Ta get whatever it is off yer chest. Okay?”

My throat constricts and my vision starts to blur as Raph stares at me intensely, as if WILLING me to understand that he’s serious. It’s not often that RAPH is the one coming out and asking for us to talk to him, usually more of a hands-off type of guy. Doesn’t mean that he WOULDN’T be willing to listen, but he usually prefers to deal with his problems himself and tries to give us the same courtesy until we willingly approach him.

Doubts of my plan slowly start to creep in the longer the two of us stand in silence. But…. But how would it be fair of me to just drop my problems on my bros right when we arrive? What if I ruin their entire trip? I wanted to wait for them to be completely relaxed and receptive to my suggestion of distribute the loads my bros carry.

And who’s to say that my nightmare on the BattleShell was even because of the stress my brothers are feeling? It honestly could just be my brain being wacky, I think, fingers twitching at my sides. Finally, after a beat, I glance back at Raphie and nod, keeping my expression open and sincere.

“I appreciate that, Raph, honest. If I have another issue like that nightmare, I’ll come to you,” I offer my big brother a smile. “But I'm totally fine, Dude. Well, besides the sore snout now." I laugh which only seems to make Raph's lips twitch down. Clearing my throat, I cock my head to the side not wanting to make my bro angry again. "So, let's just enjoy our first day up at the farmhouse, Dude! You dudes can start using your gifts and a I’ll set up a whole bunch of snacks to keep us occupied!" I go to scrunch my snout only to stop when it twinges painfully.

Raph rolls his eyes and takes his pillow back from me.

"Right. I think dat we got a bit more ta do before we can relax, Mikey."

Pouting, I sag a little as he gives my face one last look over before patting my cheek.

"Ugh, what else is there for us to do?" I whine as I resume grabbing a bag and opening it.

My hotheaded brother snorts, rolling his eyes fondly and I swear I see a slight smile.

"Ya know Fearless is gonna make us check da parameter, den make sure dat da fridge and stove are runnin' fine," Raph starts to list before turning a hard gaze my way. "Ya know dat Brainiac is gonna wanna check da furnace downstairs because SOMEONE always gets cold."

My skin prickles and I try to ignore the sensation of Raph's eyes being on me in a critical manner. I pile some blankets onto the bed that I usually occupy when we stay up here.

"Yeah, Raphie," I reply back jokingly. "We all know how your tooties are always getting cold."

My shoulders tense before I feel the long tails of my mask get tugged by Raph. Not as hard as usual but hard enough to make me squeal and my head tips back.

"Raaaaaaphie, doooon't," I whine, reaching back to smack at his hands as I go to readjust my mask. "You're making my mask tighten!"

"Stop bein' a drama queen," Raph snorts but I can hear a twinge of amusement. "And we both know dat it's ya dat gets cold. Now hurry yer ass up and meet us downstairs." I glare at Raph as he walks away, throwing me a smirk. "Or I'm sending Fearless after ya, tellin’ him ya got too cold. So don't ya even THINK of tryin' ta bail out on us."

I stick my tongue out at him as Raph continues down the stairs, not a single one creaking even under my heaviest brother's weight.

"Fine! I'll be down in a second!" I huff. "Don't need to send Leo after me, geez."

Tipping the bag upside down, the rest of the blankets fall out onto the bed and I drop the bag back onto the floor next to the other full bag. Once done with that, I pause and stare at the blankets.

Well, it seems like Raphie isn't in a bad mood anymore but why do my bros keep thinking that there is something wrong with me or that I need to talk about something? Well, okay, I do need to talk with them but not yet! We haven't even been here for an hour! They aren't relaxed enough! If I try to bring up us needing to split up our responsibilities, they're gonna shrug it off and just assume that I'm trying to lessen my already small part.

Frowning, my hand reaches up and gently pokes at my tender snout.

Stupid nightmare, I think bitterly, turning toward the stairs. If my stupid brain didn't decide to make me believe that Donnie was dead then none of this would have happened. My bros wouldn't be all suspicious toward me and on their way to relaxing and vibing.

Groaning, I reach up and rub my eyes before patting my cheeks. I need to pull myself together and forget about all the weirdness that I've caused. Once we've done our run around the property and my bros start using their gifts.

I perk up a little bit at that thought. I can't wait to see my bros enjoying the items that I got them.

"And while they do that, I can start looking at what to make for supper." I tilt my head to the side thinking before shrugging. "I'll figure it out on our run."

"YO, MIKEY! GET YER ASS DOWN HERE! FEARLESS WANTS TA LEAVE!"

I roll my eyes, my lips quirking when I hear Leo getting after Raph for cussing and Raph telling Leo where he can shove his lecture.

"I'm coming!" I shout back hurrying the rest of the way to the stairs. "Keep your shell on, Raphie-boy!"

I can't help but chuckle as I continue to hear Leo and Raph banter back and forth. While they always argue, this one is far more lighthearted than their usual arguments go, which is how I know them being up here at the farmhouse is doing them good. I do a little fist pump before I jump the last four steps and hurry toward the back door.

My brothers are already standing by the door, Leo and Raph arguing back and forth with smirks on their faces while Donnie plays on his phone. In unison, Leo and Raphie look at me causing me to stop in my tracks.

"Ew, don't do that," I complain, taking a step closer to Donnie and grab onto his arm. "That was creepy. Like walking up on twins in a horror movie."

Leo rolls his eyes while Raph's grin widens.

"Oh, ya think dat's creepy?" Raph asks and starts walking toward me causing me to squeak and shrink behind Donnie. "Ya haven't seen creepy yet. Yer cheesy B-class horror movies got NOTHIN' on how creepy we can be."

"Raph, leave him alone," Donnie states without looking up from his phone. "You know if you scare him too much he's not going to sleep tonight and if he doesn't sleep then we don't sleep, so stop it."

Raph smirks, wiggling his fingers at me and opens his mouth as I stick my tongue out at him.

"Raphael."

He rolls his gold eyes when Leo cuts him off. Raph turns to leave before swiftly turning and lunging at me causing me to shriek and duck behind Donnie fully. I pout at him as Raph starts laughing. Leo sighs.

"Are you two done?"

"Yeah, yeah," Raph states between snickers as I cling to Donnie's shell, glaring at my emerald brother.

Leo shakes his head, his brown eyes softening when he looks at me and he smiles.

"Alright, we're going to do our usual parameter run," Leo explains, shooting a side eye toward Raph. "Just a run, nothing more, nothing less. Then we can come back and do whatever we want." Leo smiles at me one last time. "And then later we can discuss supper, sound good?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Fearless, we got it," Raph states with a snort, reaching out to grab Leo by the shoulders and turning him around to push him toward the door. "Dis ain't our first rodeo, Bro. So let's get goin'. I got wrestlin' ta watch."

Donnie finally places his ShellCell back into his belt, twisting to coax me out from behind him and wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"And I have textbooks to read," my brainy brother states. "And there is a rainstorm heading our way so we better get started."

Donnie smiles down at me, squeezing me close to his side as we follow after Raph and Leo, our hotheaded brother having the largest grin on his face.

"Den what are we waitin' fer?!" Raph releases Leo once he's at the edge of the porch. Raph ignores the stairs to jump onto the grass. "Let's get runnin'!"

Raph sprints for the woods, cackling. Leo glances back at me and Donnie. When his lips twitch, the three of us take off after our laughing brother. My chest lightens and I can feel a weight leave my shoulders knowing that the bad mood Raphie had been in earlier seems to have vanished, just like Leo said it would. I glance over at Donnie, my cheeks aching as my grin widens at the excited look on my brother's face, a look that was so rare to see the two years Leo was gone in South America.

Now I just need to make sure I don't ruin my brothers' good time and everything will go as planned! This is going to be the best vacation ever!

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

A loud yawn leaves me as the four of us sit in the living, bellies full with the pasta that I made for supper. I hum softly to myself, eyes fighting hard to stay open, legs kicking in the air from my spot on the floor. My eyes slide shut and I suddenly feel myself falling forward causing me to jerk, heart pounding as I glance around wildly.

“Yo, Mikey, chill, bro,” Raph says, a slight laugh in his tone, from behind me on the couch. “Jerk like dat again and yer gonna give yerself whiplash.”

My snout twitches and I shoot a pout back at Raph, sticking my tongue out at him causing Raph to roll his eyes.

“I didn’t jerk that hard! Just didn’t wanna slam my face into the floor again!”

My brothers exchange a look, one that I have seen them do many times when they think I’m being unreasonable (which I’m NOT). I quickly look back toward the TV that is playing an episode of Golden Girls on it as I try to ignore the concerned gazes of my big brothers.

I’m fine. I’m just a little sleepy, that’s all. But the night is still young! It’s barely past midnight! We’ve been on patrols longer than this. A normal patrol goes until about two a.m. anyways. I can stay up a little while longer. And it's totally not because I want to avoid another possible nightmare like I had on the BattleShell. Nope, totally not that at all. 

“Mikey.”

I bite the inside of my cheek at the sound of Leo’s voice. Reluctantly, I glance over my shoulder at my eldest brother, widening my blue eyes to look as sad as possible. Leo’s honey brown eyes are soft as he looks down at me over his book. 

“But Leoooooo, there’s another three episodes of Golden Girls! It’s a sin to go to sleep before they finish!”

“And since when are you so invested in the Golden Girls?” Donnie asks, lowering his tablet to quirk an eye ridge at me. 

I pout.

“I’ve ALWAYS liked the Golden Girls, Don! You dudes are usually in your rooms, in the lab, or training while they’re on so you just never saw me watching it with Sensei!” I state with a huff and turning my nose up in the air. 

“And yer just bein’ stubborn now,” Raph states, pointing at me with the hand that is holding a can of pop. “Fearless, say da word and I’ll just carry him upstairs.”

“Oye!” I squeak, jumping to my knees and pointing at Raph. “I’m a big boy! I don’t need you whisking me away like the prince that I am! If YOU dudes are tired, why don’t you just say so?”

My brothers exchange a look before Raph looks back at me, his golden eyes gleaming. I quickly looking away, trying once more to focus on the TV before me.

“Mikey.”

My pout deepens at the tone that Leo is using now. He’s using that tone of voice that is soft but demands to be followed. Ugh. That’s not FAIR. I haven’t even DONE anything! Reluctantly, I glance over my shoulder at my eldest brother. Leo’s honey brown eyes soften as he looks at me over his book.

“Mikey,” Leo starts gently, “if you’re tired, there’s nothing wrong with going to bed now.” A small smile forms on his face. “You didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, packing the BattleShell for us so that we could head up here without delay, I think you deserve an early night. Don’t you?”

My snout twitches, the movement reminding me exactly why I didn’t want to slam my face into the floor again. I resist the urge to reach up and rub my snout. But I don’t WANNA go to bed early. What if I have another dream like the one I had in the BattleShell? I don’t wanna go through that in front of my brothers again. This is supposed to be a relaxing trip! Not a “Mikey Freaks Out” trip.

“No way! It’s our first night up here!” I say, shooting my brothers a grin. “And who can go to bed during Golden Girls? That’s sacrilege!” I wave a dismissive hand. “I’ll go to bed in a few hours. I’ve functioned on less sleep before!” My mouth twitches before quickly adding. “We all have!”

I keep my eyes glued to the tv at the silence that follows my words. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! Why did I say that? Of course that would be super suspicious. I literally got almost no sleep last night but it was worth it! We left early and got here at a decent time even with me almost sending us into the ditch.

Coughing into my arms, I drum my fingers on the floor. 

“‘Sides, I gotta clean my stuff upSTAAAAIRS!” 

A shriek leaves me when I’m suddenly hefted into the air like a sack of potatoes. 

Heart pounding, I frantically look around before whining.

“Not funny, Raph!” I squirm around on my hotheaded brother’s shoulder. “Put me down!”

“Not on yer life,” Raph states a little too calmly for my liking as he starts walking and heading for the loft stairs. “Think it’s time for Widdle Mikey ta hit da hay.”

“No, it’s not!” I say, grunting as I continue trying to move around, unable to break free from my brother’s grasp. “Leooooo! Donnieeeee! Help meeeeee!”

My other two brothers snicker as Leo snaps his book shut and Donnie turns the tv off. 

“Mmm, let me think about it,” Donnie says, following after us. “How about no? You need the sleep, Little Brother.”

Leo nods as he flicks the lamps off. “Listen to Donatello, Mikey. We’re here to relax and it wouldn’t be fair if you got sick just because you’re running on a lack of sleep.” 

A groan leaves me as I go limp and pout.

“I can walk myself, you know,” I grumble into Raph’s shell, knowing that I’m outnumbered. I might be the Battle Nexus Champion but even I know when not to mess with my big brothers. 

Doesn’t mean I can’t start scheming for later in the week…

Raph snorts. 

“Yeah, ya can. Yer also a NINJA. I don’t trust ya ta not try ta lead us on a wild goose chase. So, yer being carried. Like da little brother dat ya are. Now deal with it.” 

My eyes narrow and I have the thought of tugging on Raph’s mask’s tails that drape down his shell and back. But he’s walking up the stairs and Turtle Luck would hit true to form and cause Raph to drop me on the stairs. 

“Ugh! Fine!” I say, not being melodramatic at ALL. I’m just DRAMATIC. There is a difference. “See if I wake up early to make all of you breakfast in the morning.”

Donnie laughs and pokes my snout. 

“We have cereal, silly. We can just make a bowl of that while you sleep.” 

I turn my narrowed gaze on my genius brother. 

“Yeah, well, I was gonna make pancakes with bacon!” I huff and cross my arms on Raph’s shell. “But I guess none of you want that!”

Another shriek leaves me when I’m suddenly deposited onto something soft. I bounce once, then twice before I stop moving. Pressing my hand to my heart, I glare up at my amused golden eyed brother. 

“Seriously, Raphie!? No warning? No nothing? Thought you wanted me to sleep! Not have a heart attack!”

Raph rolls his eyes waving me off as I scowl at him. 

“Yet yer fine,” he drawls, walking toward his selected bed as he stretches his arms over his head. “And stop arguin’ with Brainiac, Doofus. Yer just gonna lose.” Raph stops next to his bed and glances back at me. “And we’re here fer days, Mike. Ya can make us pancakes and bacon on a different day.” 

My mouth falls open. Raph…WILLINGLY choosing to not have pancakes and bacon? Seriously? Since when? I mean, sure, during the two years that Leo was gone, Raph would skip breakfast with us, but I still made him some to reheat in the fridge. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Raphie?” I demand, holding a pillow up and ready to throw it. 

“Throw dat pillow and move yer ass off dat bed and yer gonna regret it,” Raph growls as he removes his mask to place on the bedstead next to him. Golden eyes flash as he glares at me as I sheepishly lower the pillow down. “And ya call me Raphie one more time and ya might wake up as a burrito. Got it?”

Pouting, I place my pillow back down onto my bed before sticking my tongue out. I glance at Donnie.

“Dooooonieeee,” I whine. “Raphie’s being mean to me.”

Don snorts as he also removes his mask before starting on his belt. 

“He’s not being mean to you, Mikey,” Donnie states as he shoots me a gentle but tired smile. “But it is late and we have two weeks up here. We can afford to sleep early tonight and then stay up watching horror movies tomorrow night. How’s that sound?”

I gasp. 

“Whoa! Really? You guys would be willing to stay up to watch some of my horror movies with me?” I ask excitedly before my thoughts of WHY we’re up here in the first place. No! Bad Mikey! We are here to get your bros to relax and do what THEY want to do. We’re not gonna be selfish here! 

Clearing my throat I quickly add on, “But of course, we don’t gotta, ya know? I’m sure you’re not done with your text books yet and Raphiiiiii-ael” Brilliant save, Mikester. Thank you. Thank you. “Still has some episodes of wrestling to watch. And Leo’s got…” I glance around. “Where’s Leo?”

“Right here, Mikey.”

A very masculine and manly scream leaves me as my arms fly up into the air as does one leg. I stare up at Leo with wide eyes as he stares at me, an amused look on his face as his honey brown eyes study me. Relaxing my arms, I point at him.

“We are putting a bell on you! I swear you are worse than Klunk when he thinks stalking me is funny!”

Leo chuckles, walking forward to rub the top of my head as I continue to glare up at him.

“I don’t need a bell put on me, Otōto,” Leo states, with a shake of his head. “You’re just tired and didn’t hear me come up.”

I squint up at Leo. “And what were you doing downstairs while we were up here, huh?”

Leo gently unties my mask, folding it neatly and placing it on the stand next to my head. He then holds out his hands and I automatically hand him my nunchakus and then my belt. Leo gingerly places my ‘chucks next to my mask. He then folds my belt just like my mask, placing that down as well. He then motions for me to lean my head forward.

I do so without asking.

“I was checking to make sure the doors were locked,” Leo states as I feel him gently prod around at the back of my head. Checking my bandage. 

I laugh softly. 

“Leo, we’re in the middle of nowhere! Who the shell is gonna come and break into this place?” I twitch a little when I feel him touch a more tender spot which earns me a soft apology. “It’s fine. ‘Sides, we’re NINJAS, Leo. Even if someone did break in, what are they gonna do against the four of us? We’re too epic to be trifled with!”

“Is that so?” Leo asks, obviously amused as he continues his inspection. 

“Yeah!” I say confidently. “I mean, come on! We’ve fought aliens, Triceratons, ancient ninjas, mystics, ancient magical statue warriors, and alternate versions of ourselves! And, AND, we’ve saved New York, and the WHOLE WORLD, how many times now?”

A warm and rich laugh escape my brother as he releases my head so that I can stare up at him. My smile grows into a grin as Leo stares down at me. 

“I can’t really argue with logic like that,” Leo says, eyes sparkling as he stares at me. 

“Careful, Leo,” Raph calls out from his spot on his bed, one leg resting on his other knee, cellphone in hand as he scrolls through something. “Tell him dat and da kid’s ego will skyrocket just like it did when he won da Nexus title.”

I stick my tongue out at my hotheaded brother. 

“Yeah, well, at least I can SAY I won the title! Twice~.”

Raph glares at me over the top of his phone causing me to grin at him. Fingers snap in front of my face and I look back up at Leo, who merely rolls his eyes fondly.

“Knock it off, you two. We’re supposed to be going to be, not getting each other riled up.” 

Leo pats my cheek softly before helping me lay back onto my bed. I pout up at him before yawning.

“He *yawn* He started it, Aniki,” I grumble as Leo flicks a blanket over me. 

My eldest brother chuckles and kisses my forehead just like he used to do when we were kids and he would tuck me in after having a nightmare. 

“Don’t care who started it,” Leo whispers, a small smile on his face. “I’m ending it. Now go to sleep, Otōto. Sleep well.”

I grumble at Leo again earning myself another chuckle and a rub of my head. Pulling my blanket up to my chin, I blink a few times, each one growing heavier and slower. The last thing I see before my eyes slide shut is Leo removing his mask and turning toward Raph when Raph asks himself that I didn’t catch. 

Probably gonna tell him to go to sleep, I think as I bury my aching snout into the soft, warm blanket. And tomorrow, I can finish with my planning. 

With one last deep inhale, I release it slowly and slip into oblivion.

Chapter Text

My heart pounds as I swiftly race along rooftops of New York. My head is on a swivel as I frantically scan around for someone.

He’s got to be here! He just has to be!

My thoughts spiral as I leap another gap, tucking myself into a roll as I land. My chest heaves as I roll to my feet, eyes flickering around. It feels like I’ve been running for hours! How is he so freaking hard to find?

Panting, I slide to a stop to gain my bearings, wiping sweat from my brow.

“If I was my bro, where would I go?” I mutter.

CRASH!

Jumping, I twist toward the loud sound and angry voices filter up from an alley down below. A grin forms on my face as a familiar growl reaches my ears. Racing toward the sound, I flip off the ledge of the building and land gracefully down in the alleyway, hitting a pose as a true hero do before twisting to glance over my shoulder.

“Dude, bro, save some for us!” I say with a laugh as Raph punches another Purple Dragon punk. The guy groans as he slides down the side of the dumpster and then goes quiet.

I whistle as I take in the carnage around me.

“You really let these Purple Dragons have it, Bro,” I chirp, poking one with a purple mohawk with my toe. He groans but doesn’t move. I snicker. “Not that I blame you. What they do this time? Rob one of the local stores? Try jumping someone on their way home from the bar?”

Silence meets my questions and my eye ridges furrow in confused concern. Standing slowly, I turn toward where I thought my brother was only to not find him there.

“Raphie?” I call out, totally not freaked out or anything. I am the picture of calm. Honest.

“What are ya doin’ here, Mikey?”

A very manly squeak leaves me as I whip around as I swear Raph speaks right in my ear. My hand flies to my ear but when I glance around I still don’t see him. Shell, he’s really taken Sensei’s “become one with the shadows” to heart, huh?

Laughing as a sense of unease fills my gut, I lower my hand from my head and shrug.

“What? Can’t a bro want to just hang with his bestest big bro ever?”

The faintest sound of movement lets me know that Raph is moving and making his steps heard deliberately. I track the movement with my eyes, large smile on my face with the perfect picture of innocence. If he knows I was concerned about his safety he’ll just get annoyed.

A snort brings me back to the present and I hold my hands behind my back and rock on my feet with a grin.

“Ya only say dat when ya want something, Brat.”

A faux offended gasp leaves me and I press a hand to my chest. “I’m hurt, Raphie-boy! I totally call you my fav bro outside of me wanting something!”

Raph snorts again as he moves again, this time further down the alley. I am quick to follow after him, squinting to better see his outline in the shadows. My head tilts at the weird shapes I spot. Like, it LOOKS like his shape but like… there is MORE there that shouldn’t be.

“Raphie? Why do you look weird?” I ask, my heart sinking. Oh no. Did those Purple Dragon jerks spray him with something weird? Did Hun give them a strange chemical? My stomach swirls unpleasantly as I quicken my pace to catch up with my brother when he doesn’t say anything. “Raph? C’mon, Dude. This ain’t funny. If you’re getting mutated like Don then we gotta call-”

My words trail off when Raph steps out into the streetlight and I stop midstep. There’s my bro, dressed from head to toe in his old Nightwatcher suit. A garb that he had given Father to put in his trophy room as a reminder of our past. A lump forms in my throat. I never got to see him fully wearing the armor and for a moment I feel the same surge of excitement and amazement I had felt meeting Silver Sentry for the first time. Nightwatcher had given the city so much hope, had given ME hope, that things were going to be okay.

“Ya done starin’?”

Raph’s gruff voice filtering out of the helmet snaps me out of my amazement and reminds me that the Nightwatcher has always been my hotheaded big brother. My cheeks flush when I remember telling him that Nightwatcher was a hero and was way more helpful than Raphie ever was after his and Leo’s first argument when Leo first returned home from South America. That Raph WISHED he was as cool as the Nightwatcher. And now being reminded that Raph IS the Nightwatcher. Dude, how EMBARRASSING.

Coughing, I lift my snout up and cross my arms.

“Pfft, you WISH I was starin’,” I state, although feeling a sense of déjà vu hits me. I shove it away to bounce up to my big brother. “The better question, Raphie-boy, is why you’re wearing your suit. Hmm?” I lightly tap the cool metal and try to hide my elation at doing so. “Well?”

Raph is silent but I can feel him staring down at me from behind the visor of his helmet. As if sizing me up. I hold my ground but remain silent as I let my bro think things over. Of all our bros, you’d think he’d know that I would be the least likely to tattle on him. Would I use this as blackmail? Absolutely! But I know for a fact if he had been the one to find out about my Turtle Titan escapades before the rest of the family he would have also used it as blackmail over me. He also knows that I can keep a secret. I knew he was sneaking out with Casey for ages and he knows that now. Both Don and I knew, we just never said anything to Master Splinter because we knew Dad would have been disappointed that Raph felt the need to hide. We were also banned from crime fighting until Leo came home so like…there was also that.

“Ya shouldn’t be here, Mike. Yer just gonna get in the way.”

I blink as I process Raph’s words before frowning up at him, eyes squinting. I open my mouth to argue only to cut off when a glove covered hand is extended out to me. I stare at it dumbly.

“Ya gonna take it or do ya not want ta go for a ride?”

Excuse me? I think feeling very whiplashed by Raph’s attitude.

“A ride?” I repeat even as I am already reaching out to take my brother’s hand. The palm of his hand is warm but the metal protecting the back of his hands is cold as our fingers grasp and hold onto one another.

Raph snorts as he turns and leads me the rest of the way out of the alleyway. It takes everything in me to not squeal when I see his motorcycle gleaming in the golden glow of the street lights.

“Dat’s what I said, Knucklehead,” Raph states, releasing my hand to open a compartment on his bike to pull out a helmet for me to wear. His very first helmet, the red one he and Don painted back when they would work on Raph’s first bike. “Ya ain’t riding without wearin’ dis.”

I swiftly take it in my hands, my heart hammering excitedly. Raphie never lets me ride with him! I can’t believe it!

“This is gonna be so wicked, Bro!” I squeal and yank the helmet on, it being a touch too big but not enough to be a problem. I wiggle happily as Raph straddles his bike and adjusts it so that I can climb on.

“Den be fast. I ain’t got all night, Dork,” Raph states though I can hear the smirk in his voice as I hurry forward to climb on behind him.

I wrap my arms around his waist like I’ve done with Casey. My cheeks hurt from grinning and my giddiness is nearly making me vibrate as Raph kicks up the kick stand.

“Hang tight,” Raph says just barely audible over the growl of the motorcycle. He doesn’t give me a chance to respond before we’re speeding down the road, the tires squealing for a moment as he revs the engine.

A giggle leaves me as the city around us turns into a blur. I don’t know how long we ride for but it feels so calming even though I know that we’re going way faster than we should be. But there is strangely no traffic and not a single cop in sight as Raph takes one turn and then another.

“Where are we going?” I finally ask, unable to remain silent any longer.

I’m met with silence and for a moment I’m afraid that I asked too quietly (shocking right?) when I feel Raph shrug.

“Don’t know,” he gruffs and I nod, unsure if he can actually feel it with the armor covering his shell.

My eyes drift back out toward the blur of the city and as we speed by the Hudson, I can understand my brother’s love for his motorcycle and why he seems to love riding around on it so much. The feeling of freedom and exhilaration of just speeding down the road when we’re normally hidden away up above or in the BattleShell.

No wonder the ShellCycle is his baby, I think, tightening my arms when Raph takes a right, leading us away from the Hudson. I tip my head back to watch the sky as we zip along another street. I nearly jump when the sky is abruptly cut off by us entering a tunnel and I quickly right myself as I try to peek around my bro to see where we’re going.

My eyes narrow when the tunnel seems to not come to end and the normal look of the New York tunnels slowly becomes more dark and underground like.

“Uh, Raphie? Where are we going?” I ask again, arms holding more closely to Raph as my unease starts to resurface. My eyes squeeze shut when Raph hits the brakes, his bike sliding to the side as he does. I crack an eye open when Raph cuts the engine. My arms slip from my brother’s waist as I glance around.

The road we had just been on is no longer there, instead replaced by a whole bunch of cobble stone surrounded by a vast blackness. A pit forms in my gut as a red light glows from somewhere unseen and I swear that I’ve seen this place before but I can’t quite put my finger on where.

My hands land on my thighs as Raph puts his kickstand down and slips off his bike. I watch Raph step away before I finally follow suit. I tug off my helmet and gently place it on the bike seat as Raph continues to walk until he is in the center of room.

“Raph?” I call out again, my voice soft and nervous. I turn toward my brother, watching his back with wide eyes. “Why are we here? Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” Raph says, his back still facing me as he turns his head to look at me over his shoulder. At least I’m assuming he’s looking at me. “Nothing is wrong, because I took care of it.”

What?

“I… I don’t understand….” I say slowly, my eyes flickering around at the darkness surrounding us. “The Purple Dragon bimbos? Dude, we deal with them like every week, it isn’t something new.”

Raph shakes his head and looks forward again.

“I don’t expect ya ta understand,” Raph states and my eyes flicker down as his hands flex at his sides. “Don’t expect any of ya ta understand.”

My hands rub on my thighs, my palms clammy.

“I-I mean, if you don’t explain, how am I supposed to understand?” I say with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “I’m not Leo, Dude. I can’t read minds.”

A breathy chuckle leaves Raph, the kind of chuckle that has my skin prickling and my shoulders hunching up toward my ears. It’s the type of chuckles he’s used with Leo and Donnie right before a screaming match, like he can’t believe those words just reached his ears.

“Right, because Leo is SOOOOO perfect,” Raph says, his hands forming fists. “Except, tell me, Mikey, where was he when we needed him, hmm? Where was he when Don was havin’ a mental breakdown over one too many rude customer? Where was he when Sensei was having health issues? Where was he when ya were havin’ nightmares about birthday parties?”

My mouth opens and then closes as I shuffle uneasily in place. He’s just venting right now. He isn’t angry with you.

“He was trying to become a better leader for us, Raphie,” I say sincerely. “You know he was trying to overcome the last bit of anxiety and self-doubt he had left from his defeat by the Shredder. And Dad saw sending him away as a way to help him with that.”

“Heh, right,” Raph spits out, finally turning toward me. “And yet, look where dat landed us. Our family fallin’ apart, us banned from goin’ topside, somethin’ we worked HARD ta be able ta do.”

“I-I mean, we weren’t FULLY banned from goin’ topside,” I quickly state taking a step toward my brother. “Dad never banned you from seeing Casey, bro! Or us going to see April. And I was allowed to work!”

“It wasn’t da same though, was it?” Raph growls and I swear his gold eyes are glowing behind that mask. “It wasn’t as fulfilling as normal, was it? Was it, Mike?”

I wet my lips as I shift from foot to foot. Raph isn’t WRONG. Me going to the birthday parties during the day having to DRIVE there instead of taking the rooftops really wasn’t the same. At least at night I could roam a dark street without a disguise if I wanted. But during the day? I had to wear that massive Cowabunga Carl head and even then I still stood out and got stared at. What’s the point of being able to go out during the day if I still have to hide myself?

“Is… Is that why you started being Nightwatcher?” I ask softly, tugging on my fingers. “To feel fulfilled?”

Raph is silent as I ask my question. I lift my gaze to watch him. I wish he would take his helmet off so that I can see his eyes, see the emotions shooting through my brother. He might try to act tough but we all know how much he feels and just how deeply he experiences those emotions.

“I did it because somebody had ta protect dis city.”

I tense as Raph speaks. My fingers move up to my wristbands and I clear my throat.

“You… You know that isn’t your job, Raphie,” I say, my voice trembling slight even as I try to smile. “Not ‘cause you aren’t strong!” I quickly add. “You’re SUPER strong, but like, Raphie, you’re just one dude in a city of THOUSANDS.”

“But I AIN’T strong enough,” Raph growls out, his hands thrown into the air. “If I was strong enough, Leo wouldn’t have been taken when we had our argument. If I was strong enough, dose Purple Dragon punks wouldn’t have bothered ya whenever yer van broke down. If I was strong enough, Don wouldn’t have ever turned into a mutated monster!”

I blink in surprise, flinching as Raph’s voice slowly raises in octave and the red lights flicker and I swear the ground shakes. My snout twitches as I shake my head.

“Raph, that… none of that was your fault,” I state, keeping my gaze on his face. “You didn’t know those wackado statue warriors were there and ready to take him.” My hands gesture wildly as I try to find my words. “And-And how could you know that one of the buildings I ended up in was actually a Purple Dragon hideout? Or the injury to Don’s leg would change him into a mindless mutant? You didn’t! So, like, none of that was your fault and it’s silly for you to THINK it was! That-That would be like me blaming myself for Klunk having been born a street cat or-or us blaming ourselves for all the homeless in New York. That’s just…” My hands gesture more wildly. “Just-Just not right!”

“And it shows dat I ain’t strong enough,” Raph fires back, his own hands flying into the air. “Dere shouldn’t BE any Purple Dragons left! Dose statue freaks shoulda known not ta mess with Leo! Don shouldn’t have been hurt in da first place! If I was stronger I coulda stopped all of dat from happening! I am da protector of da family, Mike. It’s my JOB ta protect all of ya! I am da shield ta Leo’s sword.” Raph points at himself as I stand there, mouth open in surprise. “But what kind of shield am I when I ain’t dere fer da sword? All we ever do is argue, Mikey! A shield is nothing when dere ain’t nothin’ ta protect!”

I jerk back as if shoved before curling into myself as I realize the world around us is shaking harder.

CRACK!

My eyes widen as a crack forms between Raph and I. A lump appears in my throat and I swallow thickly as I look back at Raphie. I shake my head.

“He-Hey! That… You’re way more than just a shield for the family, Raph! We’re supposed to protect each other, you know?” I say, desperately hoping that Raph will calm down. I’m afraid that the more upset that he gets the more the floor will break and what if he falls? I’m not Leo! I don’t have my grappling hook! What kind of super hero am I not carrying around my grappling hook?

I tentatively take a step closer to Raph.

“We’re supposed to be here together, Dude,” I continue, trying to ignore the crack as I step over it while ALSO making sure I don’t touch it. “We’re family! Family is supposed to work together to solve problems. It’s how we saved Leo, how we saved Donnie, how we helped April, and even how we rescued Dad!” I gradually grow closer to Raph, one of my hands reaching out for him until I can touch his shoulder. “So, bro, don’t take all of this onto your shoulders, okay? Let us help.”

The two of us stand there for a moment as I stare up into my brother’s visor, my reflection staring back at me. 

“Mikey…”

I smile at Raph and after a moment of hesitation, I reach up to remove Raph’s helmet. My palms press against the metal when a familiar prickle shoots along my skin. I whip around just in time to catch a katana with my nunchaku.

“Ka-Karai?!” I stammer out as I stare up at our cousin. “Wha-What are you doing?”

Karai flips away, landing gracefully. She doesn’t speak, her lower mouth hidden behind a black cloth but there is a strange gleam in her eyes. A gleam I haven’t seen since before the Shredder was killed and she accepted us as her cousins. And now that I’m looking at her, her hair style is shorter than it was the last time we saw her.

“Raph, I think Karai is being possessed!” I whisper back at him. When he doesn’t respond, I turn toward him. “Raph? Wha-Oof!”

Air is knocked out of my lungs when Raph suddenly kicks me away. A soft grunt leaves me when the back of my head smacks on the ground. Dazed, I hold my head as I push myself up, my heart thundering in my chest as I try to focus on Raph.

“Raph? What the shell? What was that for?”

“Don’t interfere, Mikey,” Raph growls, yanking his sais from his belt as he takes a few steps forward as Karai stands from her crouch.

I… What?

“N-No! Hang on!” I say, frantically pushing myself up, hand finding my head again as the world spins and nearly tilts. “Raph! We don’t have to fight Karai! Let’s-Let’s just talk about this, okay?”

Raph stops walking about five feet from Karai, the two with their weapons drawn and at the ready.

“You’re right, Mikey,” Raph says with that voice that tells me he’s smirking. “We don’t have ta fight her.”

I stop walking, relief filling my chest. “Exactly! We can just-”

“I’ll be the one fighting her.”

“Excuse me?”

My mouth falls open when Raph suddenly sprints forward and Karai meets him half way. The twang of steel on steel fills the air as their weapons clash, Raph’s sais easily catching Karai’s katana.

“Raphie wait!” I cry out as I race forward. My hand reaches out for Raph when a dark shadow falls over us. On habit, I reel back only to watch in horror as the entirety of New York City slams down on Raph and Karai. I jerk as something warm and wet hits my face. Staggering back, I fall onto my butt, barely feeling my tail slamming into the ground as I stare in shock at city of New York. The city that has just crushed my brother like how Casita fell onto Luisa.

“RAPH!”

The word tears from my lips as I jump up, hands wiping at my face as I sprint to try and push New York off of him. He can’t be gone! He LOVES New York! I can’t let it be what-what-what ki-

My thoughts spiral and halt when the floor suddenly starts to buckle and crack more.

“Wh-Whoa!”

My arms pinwheel frantically as I try to keep my balance, shooting the spot where Raph had just been before-before-

It’s not true! This isn’t real!

I shake my head, my vision blurring and my feet slipping down into the newly formed cracks. Staggering, I try to continue forward but the moment my foot steps down, the rest of the shatters as if like glass. I stare down into the dark abyss for a moment until I finally have the strength to look away and back at New York. It’s right there! My stomach flips like it does when I start to free fall and I know there is no catching me. No big brother or superhero to be there. Tears free flow from my eyes as I make one last ditched effort to just TRY and grab Raph even though I know it’s useless.

“RAPHIE!”

My voice echoes in the darkness around me as New York grows smaller and smaller. A choked sob leaves me as I swing my arms around trying hard to swim back up out of the darkness even when I can no longer see anything and just feel the darkness will swallow me whole. I kick and shove at the darkness, my chest stuttering with each inhale and exhale. It’s so dark and silent and all I can hear is my heartbeat and my breathing and all I can see is New York falling on top of my brother and cousin over and over again and I just can’t get out of this loop!

I need out of this loop! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!

I curl into myself, knees tucked to my chest and my fingers dig into my skull, desperate to block anything out. Block EVERYTHING out.

This isn’t real! It CAN’T be real! My mind screams. Last-Last time this happened it was FAKE so this is all FAKE! I-I just need to wake up! Yeah! That’s-That’s it! C’mon, Mikester! Wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeup WAKE UP!

My eyes snap open with a soft gasp and I twist just in time to land in a perfect crouch on the floor. A cold sweat covers my body as a soft fabric flutters down around me and I remain still as statue, eyes wide.

It…It was all a dream. I-I can’t believe it…

My chest stutters and I press a hand to my mouth to cover a sob just as a loud chainsaw snore fills the air.

Raph!

I curl into myself, my forehead on the smooth wood of the loft floor, trembling as I fight my instinct to go sprinting for my big brother and tackling him. Years ago I would have but… but I can’t! Not if I want them to rely on me with their issues. They’ll still see me as a child if I do that or worse, try to focus on my nightmare instead of themselves.

I’ve already scared in the BattleShell, I think as hot tears burn my cheeks. I can’t let that happen again.

“Mi-Mikey?”

SILVER SENTRY’S STUNNING SANDALS!

“Meep!”

I wince as I barely conceal that sound. Of COURSE Leo would wake up. He’s got the senses of a great martial GOD I freaking swear! He didn’t even sound all that tired! Does my bro even SLEEP? Or does he just fall into a strange trance and feed off the life-force of the world around us?

“Mikey? Are you alright?”

My heart skips a beat when I hear the sounds of the bed squeaking, shoving the fact aside that I know Leo made that sound on purpose just so I can hear him moving. He knows I don’t like being startled in the dark.

Stupid, considerate old brothers!

Coughing and frantically wiping my face, I sit back onto my heels and smile into the darkness.

“I’m here, Leo!” I whisper, very proud that my voice sounds pretty normal despite being quiet. “I… heh… I fell out of bed by accident.” I rub the back of my head before flinching when I accidentally touch my stitches. I frown when they feel sticky to me. Ew! No wonder Donnie always tells me not to touch it. What kind of ointment did Donnie use on me?

“What was that?” Leo asks, his voice still soft but I can hear the concerned “You better not lie to me” tone.

I shoot a glance toward where I can hear Donnie and Raph (thank you comic book gods!) breathing. I wait to make sure they are still asleep before focusing on Leo only to jerk when I spot his silhouette standing at the end of his bed.

“I just accidentally touched my stitches is all!” I whisper, my hand covering my heart as I will it to calm down. If anyone can hear it, it’s Leo and boy do I not need that right now.

Leo is silent for a moment and for a moment, I’m afraid he isn’t going to believe me but that’s truly what I did! I touched my stitches!

“Mikey….” Leo starts softly and I watch as his form approaches, squatting before me. A warm hand lands on my cheek and I can’t help but lean into it. “What made you fall out of bed?”

I freeze at that question, not expecting Leo to not continue with “stitches” comment. I quickly shove that away and smile in the darkness, trying to find where my brother’s eyes are.

“Just rolled around too much,” I whisper, shrugging. Not a lie! “I’m not used to not having a railing, ya know? With me having a lofted bed.”

I continue to try and meet my bro’s eyes in the dark but it’s so much harder than when we are on patrol. Maybe we should do that second eyelid thingy when we fight the bad guys. Then I’d at least know where Leo’s eyes are. How am I supposed to make him believe me if I can’t make prolonged eye contact? All those forums that I read about convincing people you aren’t lying is by looking them DEAD IN THE EYE. You hold that eye contact and it shows you aren’t lying.

And my bros think I don’t look up useful things on the internet!

“-ow that, right Mikey?”

I jerk and I stare wide-eyed at my brother’s form. Uh oh.

“I-Sure! Yup!” I quickly agree while nodding. “Absolutely, Aniki.”

Please let that be the right response. I was totally paying attention and not describing how to properly convince someone to lie to another.

I can feel myself start to sweat the longer Leo is silent before I hear a soft huff of a laugh from my brother. His thumb rubs my cheek before he pats it.

“I’ll repeat myself in the morning since I know you didn’t hear a word I said. I saw that. You’ll only make your snout hurt if you make that face.”

I smooth my face from the scrunched up expression, despite the slight discomfort it caused to my snout, making it look as innocent as possible. A giggle escapes me when Leo rubs the top of my head.

“Don’t give me that look either, Chucklehead,” Leo whispers with another laugh. “It’s barely three a.m. Let’s head back to bed and discuss this further in the morning, okay? Unless… you want Don to check your stitches?”

I shake my head knowing that Leo can totally see it with his strange Leo-Vision.

“Nah, I just touched it when I shouldn’t have and I still got that lump on my head from the sink.” I wave a dismissive hand as Leo helps me stand. “I’ll just hit the bathroom and then head back to bed.”

Leo’s hands twitch on my arm before he slowly releases me.

“If you’re sure,” Leo hums and I can feel that he wants to add more but doesn’t. “Just hurry back.”

Nodding, I give him a salute in the dark that I know makes him smile and the huff of a laugh that I hear means I got the result that I was looking for.

“Aye, aye, C’ptin!” I whisper in a bad French accent. I wait for Leo to start for his bed before heading for the stairs. I have a brief thought to flip over the railing but I decide against it. Only because I know Leo will comment it.

You shouldn’t have jumped from there with a head injury, Mikey. Be nice to your body. Blah blah, big brother jargon, blah blah, I am the leader.

I snicker to myself as I reach the landing and make my way to the bathroom from memory. I need to remember that impression of Leo, Raphie would LOVE it. I close the door behind me and I stand there for a moment surrounded by a bright darkness. Moonlight filters in from the frosted window, glowing on the floor. I stare at the bright spot on the floor just taking in the difference of this darkness compared to the one that surrounded me in my dreams. Grant it, the moonlight has always provided comfort in the darkness and is one of my favorite things to look at when we go topside to do our patrols. You can only look at the sun for so long but the moon? You can stare at it for hours. The moon was one of the few things that DIDN’T change while Leo was gone and it… was nice. Watching it, I could pretend for a little while that everything was normal.

Walking forward, I shake my head, a tiny smile on lips. It’s nice a normal constant in our lives is here when my brain is enjoying a little freak out session. By morning, I’ll be good as new and I’ll start working on my plan once more.

And if I take any longer Leo is going to come down and kick the door in, I think as I finish my business. And a ninja needs his privacy! I stick my nose in the air as I wash my hands, another snicker leaving me. I don’t know why my bros say that I’m not funny. I’m freaking hilarious.

Snickering again, I dry my hands and exit the bathroom, feeling much better than I had when I first woke up. Stretching my arms over my head, a yawn leaves me. The movement causes my snout to twitch and my stitches to tug just a bit but I ignore it as I ascend the stairs.

“Feeling better?”

A small squeak leaves me as I reach the top of the stairs and my eyes snap over to Leo’s bed. I nearly shriek when I see the outline of someone sitting up. A quiet groan leaves me, my hand nearly moving to my face to rub it but I abort the movement at the last minute.

“Leooooo,” I whisper whine. “You can’t do that!”

Leo chuckles.

“Sorry, Mikey, didn’t mean to scare you. But you’re good to head to bed now?”

I shoot my brother a pout in the darkness because I KNOW he can see it. Huffing, I continue toward my bed.

“Yes, MOM, I’m heading to bed now.”

“You’re lucky Raph and Donnie are sleeping,” Leo says, humor lacing his words as I feel him watch me climb back into bed. “But wake me up if your stitches continue to bother you.”

I hold my tongue on calling him “Mom” again because I know I was lucky the first time he didn’t throw something at me. The second time? I will not be so lucky no matter my status as baby brother.

“Sure thing, Leo,” I say as I lay back on my pillow sighing. “Good night.”

A soft chuckle fills the air.

“Good night, Otōto.”

The rustling of the sheets follows after as Leo readjusts on the bed. A small smile tugs at my lips as I close my eyes. Maybe I’ll see about making some eggs, bacon and hash browns. Raphie loves a big hearty meal after all. With a large glass of milk and some coffee. He’ll love it.

I take another big inhale and release it slowly before sinking back into a blissful sleep once more.