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"So we did it? We're back in 2019?!" Klaus exclaimed, looking around the foyer with gleaming eyes.
Five cautiously looked around, worried that there could be something they might have missed out on. He checked the lone newspaper on the stand in the middle of the foyer and was quickly relieved that they were indeed back in 2019.
I actually did it...
"Seems like it," he muttered, finally taking a breath of relief.
All of them hastily walked around the house, murmurs of excitement from the other being heard throughout the floor. But to their surprise, they heard a familiar voice they haven't heard since the house was destroyed during the apocalypse.
"Hello, children. It's good to see you again."
Diego turned around, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears as he finally took a good look at their mom who was completely alive and standing on her two feet.
"Mom..." he whispered, before running to hug her, the rest of the siblings completely in shock and awe. Their mother hugged their brother with a calm smile, but was quickly replaced with a worried look as she finally took a good look at her children.
"How come everyone looks so dusty and sweaty? Why don't you all clean up while I make you children some dinner, how does that sound, hm?"
Allison laughed with relief, unshed tears also pooling in her eyes as she realized they were finally home.
"I think that sounds great, mom," she said with a smile, the rest of the siblings following as well.
"Splendid! Oh but before you all go upstairs, Diego please do come see me right after so we can fix your arm, as well as Five, darling. I need to clean your gash and check on your shrapnel wound."
This surprised Diego. "Wait, shrapnel wound? How long has it been for you since 2019? or the original 2019, anyway?"
Five sighed, involuntarily gripping his side as he felt slight pain from the wound that was far from healed. "That's irrelevant," was all he said before blinking away, probably to take a bath.
Grace sighed, shaking her head in amusement. "Now, off you go. I'll see you children in a bit."
---
It took Five only a few minutes before he got himself into a more presentable look, his hair less greasy and his face was rid of dried-up blood. He opted to wear one of the few non-uniform clothes he had in his closet, thanks to Allison who bought him a few clothes the first time he came back.
The wound on his forehead was now throbbing, most probably from the iron skillet that was thrown at him by Lila inside the barn. His shrapnel wound was mostly red and slightly warm. Probably an infection.
He walked downstairs to meet his mom and siblings, only to realize he was the first one done.
"Hi, mom," he greeted her with a calm smile.
"Oh, Five dear. I'm just about to put the lasagna in the oven. Give me a few seconds then we can do to the infirmary for your injuries."
Five was definitely tempted to decline being attended to by his mother, but for once he decided that it would be nice to finally have someone help him with his injuries.
It won't hurt to have someone help, right?
“Come on, dear. Let’s get you fixed up,” Grace said, intruding on his thoughts. He nodded curtly at his mother before following her towards the infirmary.
"Lie down on the bed and lift your shirt, okay?"
Five nodded, following her orders. He raised his shirt, only to grimace at the sight of his still unhealed shrapnel wound.
Grace let out a sigh of disapproval at the sight of the wound, in her hands were some bandages and antiseptic to clean it up.
"You broke your stitches," she noted as she began to dab a cotton ball soaked with the solution around the wound. Without any adrenaline running through his body, Five was definitely aware of how painful it was, a hiss and flinch forced out of him. "And it is very much close to being infected."
"Do I need new ones?" he asked, albeit in a small voice, which was unusual coming from Five.
"I don't think it will be necessary. But we'll need to keep you on antibiotics to prevent the infection from spreading. Is that alright with you?" she asked, giving him a soft smile.
Five nodded, albeit hesitant, given that he hasn't taken any sort of medication in years. But he trusted his mother enough to agree to her plans. "Mhmm...," he mumbled before letting Grace continue.
In his stay with the commission, he's never once gone to the infirmary for minor injuries such as these. He's always opted to fix them on his own, which meant he knew how to do basic first aid.
Which also resulted in higher pain tolerance.
"You should be more careful, darling," Grace mused, moving on to work on his head. "Your siblings worry about you, you know? We all do."
Do they really?
Five inhaled sharply. "They do?"
Grace chuckled, dabbing at the wound with betadine. "When you left, none of them had been able to train or function properly," she began. "Only Vanya and Ben had been honest with how they felt, but as a mother, I could see the slight changes in demeanor from all my children."
Five kept silent, letting Grace continue her story. His heart clenching ever so slightly.
"Luther had begun to isolate himself in the training room, punching and destroying equipment more often than usual. Diego and Allison both became more silent, only opting to speak when spoken to. Although Diego had also appeared to be more defensive of the rest of your siblings as well since then. Klaus' mental health also dwindled in the same way - eventually caught him smoking in the garden or on the roof when no one was looking," she mused calmly, finally bandaging Five's wounds.
But why does it feel like they hate me for everything?
Five felt tears sting his eyes, also having a near urge to sniffle. He tried to look away from his mother but Grace knew him too well.
"Five, dear, look at me."
He did, hesitantly turning his face to Grace.
"What's going on in your mind? I can sense something is bothering you, dear."
He wanted to blink. He really did. Encounters such as these never really did suit him even when he was younger, so much so now that he's been through many things alone. But if there was any person in the world he could trust, it would be his own mother.
"It doesn't feel like it though," he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back completely. "All I received were blames, curses and Luther even threw me off the stairs. I don't think we're talking about the same set of siblings here, mom," he laughed deprecatingly, glancing at her softly.
"I think..." Grace began, sitting down beside him. "You've done everything you could in your power to achieve what you were able to achieve. Your siblings will come around eventually, darling. So it's time for you to take a break, yeah?"
A break... huh...
He smiled at her softly. "Yeah... Okay, mom."
"It's good to have you back, dear. I missed you so much," Grace said softly, hugging her now smallest child.
"I missed you too, mom," Five whispered, tucking his face into his mother's neck as he let himself be hugged.
---
Once everyone was all clean and washed up, Grace managed to feed just enough to fill their practically empty stomachs. Although Grace could see Five eating much less than the others, she was glad enough that he was eating at least a bit.
In Five's mind, the conversation he had with his mother had been replaying. He'd been trying so hard to process everything until he heard the sound of a door closing, snapping him out of his trance.
"Oh, that must be your brother!" Grace exclaimed, leaving the room in a slight hurry.
Brother...? No... It can't be possible...
The siblings looked at one another with confused glances. Five had hurriedly stood up, his heart beating faster by the minute at the thought of who it might be. He followed Grace, the rest of his siblings following him as well, leaving their unfinished dinner on the table.
Once Five walked into the foyer, he stopped in his tracks, eyes suddenly glazing over at the sight of the person he hadn't seen in over 40 years since he had left. The brother he thought he would never be able to see or talk to again.
Ben...
"Oh my god, Ben!" Vanya gasped, running towards him as he turned towards them in shock.
"Vanya!" he gasped, hugging his sister tightly, tears threatening to fall.
"You're alive?" Allison whispered, approaching Ben slowly before hugging him just as tightly.
Ben faltered a bit, stifling a sob. "I-- I just woke up one day and I wasn't sure what happened... I still am but I was just ultimately glad to be alive," he stuttered, looking at everyone.
"BENERINO!!" Klaus screamed, running towards him and giving him a hug. "You're not a ghost anymore!"
Ben laughed, already crying happy tears as he hugged his siblings. "I sure hope not."
"It's good to have you back, Ben," Luther smiled, patting Ben's shoulder, to which
Diego also did the same - with the addition of a hug. "I finally get to hug you for real now, asshole," he laughed, nudging Ben lovingly.
This left Five standing a few steps away from his siblings. He wasn't sure how to feel. Sure it was nice Ben was back, but he wasn't sure if he'd want to hug him as he did with the others. He stood there in silence, the rest of his siblings looking at him worriedly.
He wouldn't hug you.
You couldn't save him from death because you left them.
You don't deserve this.
"Five..." Ben began, trying to approach Five, but as he took one step forward, his youngest-oldest brother blinked away from their sight.
Ben sighed, looking at the empty space where Five once stood. He wasn't even sure why his brother looked scared at all. He turned to his siblings, their faces mirroring his look as well.
"Give your brother some time. I'm sure he'll come around," Grace smiled at them softly before ushering them back to the dining room, a vacant chair with unfinished food mocking them as they continued to eat.
---
Five had indeed retreated to his bedroom. The only room that was on a different floor compared to the others. The moment he blinked inside, he broke down like a marionette whose strings had been cut off. He tried stifling his sobs with the back of his hand, his body shaking as he wracked with sobs.
"I can't do this..." he whispered to himself, trying to muffle his cries so as to not let the others hear him.
They'd think you're weak.
"I am..." mumbled to himself.
You think you're so mighty, but you're just a boy who can't even face his siblings after everything you put them through.
Pathetic. If only the Handler could see you right now.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered before crying himself to sleep on the floor of his own room, the full moon shining lightly through his window.
---
"I'm gonna go check on Five. I'll see you guys in the morning?" Ben announced, smiling at his siblings who were busy chatting softly amongst one another.
"Want me to come with?" Vanya asked, about to stand up from her chair but Ben stopped her, shaking his head.
"No, it's okay. I think Five and I have a long overdue conversation we need to have. You guys should go rest for the night. It's been a long day."=
The rest of the Hargreeves agreed, albeit a bit hesitantly given that they didn't know what was bound to happen, but they trusted Ben enough to keep everything in check.
Ben then walked silently towards Five's bedroom, wondering in the back of his mind why his brother blinked away from him as if he were afraid . As we walked up the steps, he began to wonder as well why Five's bedroom had been separated from theirs, being one floor higher, but he quickly shook the thought off the moment he arrived at the familiar door.
He hesitated to knock on the door, thinking this may not be the best time, but he needed answers - closure .
So he knocked.
Once. Twice. Only to hear no response.
Maybe he fell asleep.
But as he tested to turn the knob in hopes that it was not locked, he was surprised the door was indeed unlocked - definitely something unlikely for Five to do.
So he entered the room quietly, only to be met by the sight of his brother slumped against the wall, sleeping on the floor . Upon taking a closer look, he could see faint tear stains on his brother's cheeks.
Five... cried? Why?
Ben being the kind sibling he was, decided to carry Five to his bed without jostling him around too much. But to his dismay, Five began to wake up the moment he got him on the bed, bleary eyes looking up at him in confusion.
"Ben... What are you doing here?" he whispered, avoiding his brother's gaze.
The taller one of the two sat down on the bed, just beside Five's hip. The latter ever so slightly flinched away, as if his brother was a furnace he was trying to avoid.
"I wanted to check on you. You didn't seem too happy when I saw you a while ago..." Ben began explaining, inching slightly closer to Five who thankfully didn't move any further.
"I'm fine, Ben. Just leave me alone."
Of course, he expected this, but he ignored him. "You were crying, weren't you?"
Five sighed, facing away from Ben. "It's none of your business."
Ben stood up, frustration now beginning to show. "Then at least tell me why you can't seem to look me in the fucking eye, Five! Tell my why can't you look at me without your body flinching like I'm going to hurt you---"
"Because when I look at you . I remember the worst mistake I made in my life," he blurted out, cutting Ben off.
Ben stood there in shock, his brain trying to register and process what Five had just revealed. “Five, what do you mean?” he asked in disbelief.
Bloodshot eyes stared back at him, almost in a pleading way. “You died, Ben. What else was there to say?”
Ben scoffed. “What does that have anything to do with you, Five? You weren’t there the night I died.”
Five rolled his eyes in frustration, running a hand down his face. “ Exactly .”
His brother's silence indicated Five to continue speaking, much to his dismay. “I can’t help but think about the fact that maybe you wouldn’t have died if I was there. And it fucking hurt finding out about it alone in the apocalypse. It hurt that I wasn’t there with everyone all because I let my pride get the best of me. I lived for 40 years carrying the burden of your death and everyone else’s.” He looked at Ben in a pleading way, tears once again pooling in his eyes.
Ben sighed, finally understanding where his brother was coming from. He sat down again, much to Five’s surprise - his brother’s hand holding onto his.
“Ben, what---”
“I don’t blame you,” he began, smiling softly. “What happened to me was… unavoidable. No one could save me - even you if you were there. We went through tough shit that no one could ever compare to, especially you . And I don’t blame you for anything. For leaving us. For the apocalypse. None . All I care about is that you’re home, Five.”
He could see that Five was close to tears, his body shaking as he tried to suppress his emotions. So Ben pulled him into a hug, albeit hesitant at first, but once he felt Five relax against his chest, he knew it was going to be alright.
“I’m sorry,” Five whispered into his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to avoid you…”
“It’s okay,” Ben mumbled into his hair. “I’m just glad I get to hug you now.”
“Me too.”