Work Text:
An Honest Gaze
When Aether called her one late evening on a weekend, never in a million years would Ayaka have predicted the conversation to be had. It wasn’t like him to call often, perhaps an occasional text would’ve been more expected, so it did make her wonder. She knew that Kazuha was currently hanging out with the boys (Aether included), so if she had to take a guess it could have something to do with him.
“Ayaka, hey,” Aether started awkwardly as soon as she had picked up. She could hear music playing in the background with loud conversations happening around. “Uh, are you busy right now?”
“No…” Ayaka slowly answered, confused at the sudden call. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh yeah, everything’s alright. Just, uh, there’s one small favor I have to ask you.” A pause. “It’s about Kazuha.”
At this, she jolts. “What happened?”
“He’s okay! He’s just- er, he’s sort of passed out drunk…?”
A million questions raced through her mind but she could only eloquently provide a, “ What? ”
“Alright, he’s completely passed out drunk,” Aether admits with a sigh. “Look if it isn’t too much of a bother-”
“I’m coming,” Ayaka cuts in, already heading to her closet.
“Great,” he says with a twinge of relief. “I’ll send you the location.”
As soon as they hung up, she changed into some clothes, grabbed her keys and left the house. On the drive to the location Aether had sent (it concerned her even more the fact that it was a bar), her worries increased. She didn’t think that Kazuha was an avid drinker, yet it was possible that Venti might’ve roped him into it, or had gotten the habit from Beidou. Despite that, she thought that he would’ve at least been a bit more careful not to let himself drink to the point of passing out.
Then again, they’ve only been dating for a few months.
Sure they’ve known each other for a long time, they’ve been family friends since their childhood, so she’d like to think that she at least knew him well enough to recognize a habit such as drinking. Yet, the fact that he still manages to surprise her made her realize just how much more she had to learn. She tried to think back on their latest interactions, scouring her memories to see if perhaps she’d done anything that might’ve upsetted him. They’d just gone on a date two days ago and texted each other a few hours earlier and nothing seemed out of the ordinary there. Perhaps it didn’t have anything to do with her?
Or maybe Ayaka was really just overthinking what could possibly have been a careless indulgence.
She finally arrived at the bar called Angel’s Share. After sending Aether a quick text announcing her arrival, she steels herself before entering the bar.
It was packed. Music played in the background as loud conversations erupted left and right. She quickly passed by a particularly loud group of drunkards, getting a little more nervous by the second until she spotted Aether waving her over.
“Sorry for bothering you this late,” Aether said as soon as she hurried over.
“It’s okay…” Her eyes trailed over at the scene.
Venti was currently laughing loud and unrestrained at a tipsy Xiao, who seemed to be swinging a kazoo in his hand while he complained about something in slurred words (that may have been the most she’s heard him speak at all). They were too into their own world (or too tipsy) to have noticed Ayaka’s arrival. Heizou was lazily sprawled on the other side of the table, giving her a two-finger salute in greeting. Beside him sat Kazuha, who was slumped over the table in a deep slumber.
“Yeah we’re… not usually here all the time, but it was Venti’s turn to pick,” Aether mumbles apologetically. “Turns out, Kazuha’s an extreme lightweight. He mistook one of the drinks for a grape juice and, well, as you can see right here…”
“He wasn’t even halfway through his glass,” Heizou adds, swirling a dark-red drink that was still pretty much close to full. “Not even thirty minutes in either, mind you.”
Well then… she didn’t quite expect that. But a part of her relaxed, seeing as it had only been a careless indulgence that was unintentional for the most part.
Aether sighs. “Right, so we figured that it was best he clocked out early. I’m really sorry for bothering you with this again.”
Ayaka shook her thoughts away. “No, no, it’s fine. I said I would come. I’ll take him home, don’t worry.”
“Thank you.” Aether gratefully says, relieved.
“Here, I’ll get him to your car,” Heizou offers, standing up before gently shaking Kazuha by the arm. “Hey, bud, time to wake up.”
“Mmm…” Kazuha stirs, blinking blearily. “More? Hehe…”
“Nope. Your girlfriend’s here to take you home,” Heizou says, swinging his arm around his shoulder before pulling him up.
Dazed, red eyes lock with hers and then he giggles, slurring out, “Ayaka? Heh, hi. You… pretty, heh…”
She clears her throat, ignoring the warmth in her ears as she draws closer to inspect him. “How are you feeling?”
“I feel, ah… blessed… by a white heron’s most attentive gaze… Beauty like- HIC -mmm… no other.”
Even when drunk and slurring every syllable, she still can’t help but blush like a fool at the bolder compliments she was receiving from the usually reserved Kazuha.
“Whipped,” Heizou snorts before they weave their way out of the bar. After placing Kazuha into the passenger’s seat, he turns to Ayaka and says, “Don’t worry, he’s not usually like this. Still, thank you for being patient with him.”
“Thank you guys for watching out for him,” Ayaka responds.
“Eh, just take care of this idiot for us,” Heizou grins before waving goodbye.
With a sigh, she enters the driver’s seat and starts the car. She hears Kazuha shifting on the passenger seat, finding the movement louder in the muted silence of the car. She didn’t quite know how to deal with this side of him (she’s never had to). Though Thoma and Ayato have drunk before, they’ve never been entirely out of it either so… this was technically very new to her.
“…mmm, Ayaka?”
She glances over to his side, sees him blinking at her with a dazed look on his face, one she often sees in the moments after he’s woken up from a good sleep. Despite the circumstances, she had to admit he was a pretty cute drunk.
She smiles. “Hey, sleepyhead.”
“…you came?”
At this, she chuckles softly. “Of course I did, silly.”
Something akin to a growing awe filled his red eyes, like he couldn’t quite believe that she was really there. Unable to help herself, she gives into the urge of reaching out her hand to tuck back a stray strand of the small red streak of hair that had fallen in front of his face. Her fingers gently threaded through them before gently falling to a soft caress onto his cheek. Her heart stutters as a sigh sounds from his lips, his entire being melting into her touch.
“Lucky me,” he whispers into the quiet space, the softest look on his face. It fills her heart with so much warmth, so much affection for the very person right in front of her. Her breath catches in her throat when he turns his head to place a soft kiss on the inside of her wrist. “…I don’t know what you see in me.”
And despite how quietly and slurred he had uttered it, she still catches his words.
Her heart clenches and she feels a frown forming on her face at his words. Maybe he didn’t fully know what he was saying, or perhaps there was some truth to his words in a moment of vulnerability. After indulging herself for another moment, she gently pries her hand away despite the small whine of complaint that left his lips.
She forces back her smile, tells him, “Let’s go home.”
She hears him hum in response as she begins the drive to Kazuha’s place. On the way there, her thoughts began to spiral once more at the words he had said. There are still many sides she has yet to learn of him, but he remains the same boy that took her heart and kept it whole, kept it close since the day she realized she liked him a whole lot more than a friend should. His kind nature and gentle spirit, full of consideration behind every action, someone she could share revitalizing silences or endless bouts of meaningful conversation. Someone who still remains that good friend that cherishes such bonds deeply, only with the added factor of their dating status. She felt that she was the lucky one. He gives her so much, with his soft words full of sincerity and the truth in his eyes.
Perhaps that was where Ayaka lacked, and now it had placed this doubt within Kazuha. That she hadn’t been honest enough.
As soon as she’s reached Kazuha’s apartment building, she parks the car before moving over to the other side. The moon was up and it was already nearing midnight, making her sigh at the long night ahead of her. But she had to make sure he got home safely.
“Kazuha,” Ayaka gently nudges her dozing boyfriend awake. “We’re here.”
“Hmm?”
“We’re home,” she clarifies. “Are you able to walk?“
He only blinks at her, still dazed and clearly feeling the effects of the drink he’s had. Without a word, he sluggishly pulls himself out of the car.
Ayaka was ready, steadying him from completely falling before slinging his arm around her shoulders, her other arm wrapped around his waist. “I got you.”
“‘M sorry…” He giggles in spite of it.
“Don’t be.”
Luckily, she didn’t have to support his entire weight, Kazuha regaining a bit of his bearings as they trudged into the building. She punches in the floor as they enter the elevator, and in the period of waiting does she finally realize how close they were pressed up together. She feels his head bobbing down, barely suppresses the shiver that ran through her at the feel of his warm breath on her neck.
“I missed you,” he murmurs into her ear, voice still raspy with sleep.
“We saw each other two days ago,” she lightly reminds him, trying to keep her voice even. It’s just the drink talking, Ayaka. So long as you don’t look at him-
“Mm… still miss you.”
She’s never been more relieved when the elevator doors finally opened. They all but stumbled towards his door, only for her to encounter another problem.
“Kazuha, where did you keep your keys?”
“Hmm?”
She patiently sighs before leaning him onto the door. Then she reaches up to gently cradle his face to meet his dazed red eyes. “Stay awake a little longer for me, please? Do you remember where you put your keys?”
He blinks, a bit of clarity entering through his gaze. “…back pocket.”
“Thank you.”
She tries to ignore the growing warmth on her face (and it doesn’t help when she feels his stare trained on her) as she reaches around and pulls out his keys. They enter into his apartment, toeing off their shoes at the entrance (Kazuha more so clumsily) before Ayaka leads him to sit on the couch, making sure that he’s comfortable.
Just as she was about to withdraw, a hand held her back.
“Don’t go… please…”
Despite the sleep lining his voice and the slurred words, there was an underlying desperation beneath it. It clenches at her heart to hear him like this.
She leans back in, plants a lingering kiss on his forehead before drawing back to meet his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just get you some water, okay?”
He hesitates for a moment but his grip loosens, allowing her to slip away from him. Despite the darkness of the room, she knows the interior like the back of her hand, rummaging for a glass with ease and filling it up with water. Within minutes, she’s back in the living room to find Kazuha slipping in and out of consciousness.
She takes the spot beside him, gently shaking him awake with her free hand. “Here. Drink some water first.”
He complies, emptying the glass completely before finishing with a sigh. He sinks back into the couch as Ayaka clears him off the glass. When she turns back to him, she finds him already looking her way, his gaze less foggy than it had been a while ago.
Then, a lopsided smile appears on his face, a slight chuckle making its way out.
“What’s so funny?” She asks with an amused smile.
He only shakes his head, let’s out a few more laughs before ending it with a long sigh. “You’re so good to me.”
“Oh.” She flushes before reaching out to fix his hair. Even in this state, he remains honest and straightforward with his words. “ You are always good to me.”
“Mmm’ I good enough?”
There it was again. Moments of insecurity slipping through his lowered guard.
“More than enough,” she says, making sure that her sincerity is heard. “You always have been.”
Kazuha sighs before he leans in closer, touching his forehead against hers and she stills upon recognizing the look crossing into his eyes, flitting down to her lips. And as tempting as it was to lean in and close the remaining gap…
“Kazuha,” Ayaka quietly says to soften the warning in her tone. “You’re drunk.”
He frowns. “‘Mmm not… didn’t drink much…”
“Yet you’re still drunk,” she points out. He huffs out a disappointed pout (and it takes her remaining self control not to give into the urge to kiss it off him). Instead, she lightly changes the topic, “I didn’t know you were quite the lightweight.”
“Didn’t know either.”
She lets out a chuckle, eliciting a small smile from him. His hand reaches out to take one of her own before he brings it to his lips, placing a soft, lingering kiss on each knuckle. Dangerous he was to the beatings of her heart. He was far bolder and more affectionate in this state, making it harder for her to resist closing the remaining gap between them.
“You’re insufferable,” she huffs out fondly, not meaning any of her words.
“I am… completely enamored by you.”
He breathes out, voice thick with emotion, with sincerity, red eyes vibrant with the truth inside. And it catches her stumbling in her thoughts, heart pounding in her chest because she sees it and feels it and believes that he means it, and she feels so many things all at once.
She then gently removes her hand from his, only to hold his cheek in a gentle caress. She finally whispers into their silent space the words.
“You complete me.”
She doesn’t miss the sharp intake of breath that responds. The look crossed his gaze again and she knew that she shouldn’t entertain this longer. He was still drunk, whether he drank a little or not.
“Ayaka…”
“We shouldn’t…” She weakly attempts, feeling herself giving in.
“Just one?”
She looks into red eyes, a desire in them mixed with hints of dazed and almost gives in. Instead, she reaches up to place a gentle kiss on his forehead… then plants another on his cheek… does the same to his other cheek… then leaves a playful peck on his nose. When she draws back, there’s a softness now in his gaze with a similar fondness reflected in hers, the same small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. The same look she’d often catch him with after words of confession, its true meaning fully realized on the moment he had first admitted to liking her far more than a friend should.
He sighs but doesn’t press her again, instead gently tugging her into a loose embrace that she was more than happy to melt into. Time passes by ever so slowly in a comfortable silence that they have long since perfected. Just the two of them, alone in the bubble existing only for them, when they were truly alone.
She didn’t know how long they stayed like that. It was Kazuha who broke the silence, words more concrete than slurred.
“Thank you,” he softly utters, and she looks up to meet his kind look.
She smiles back, leaning on her side to face him. “Are you feeling better?”
He winces slightly. “My head’s pounding a little.”
“I can get you some painkillers-“
He stops her with a hand on her wrist, squeezing it gently. “I can manage. It’s fine. Stay?”
After a moment's hesitation, she relents, maneuvering her hand so she’s holding his instead, squeezing it back as a silent response. Of course I’ll stay.
“Just tell me if it hurts too much,” is what she says instead.
He only huffs, a small smile on his lips. “You’ve done more than enough for me tonight.”
She frowns. “If you’re stopping me because you don’t want to burden me-“
“No, no, I’m sorry,” he shakes his head, conceding immediately. “That wasn’t what I meant. I really am grateful for you, Ayaka.”
She bites her lip, regretting her words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring the mood down.”
“You didn’t,” Kazuha says, his thumb caressing her knuckles reassuringly. “I know you only meant to show you care. And I mean it when I say, I felt… deeply cared for tonight. Thank you.”
She flushes at that, averting her gaze at the sudden shyness that envelops her.
“Still,” he continues in a quiet murmur, “I’m sorry that you had to lose some sleep to come all this way because of me.”
“ I’m not sorry. You’ve done the same for me many times over,” Ayaka firmly states. She then lightly adds with a small smile, “Just, maybe not drunk.”
Red tints his cheeks. “I didn’t do anything too embarrassing, did I?”
“Well… it was cute,” she offered.
He doesn’t believe her half-hearted response, groaning in embarrassment and falling back on the couch. “Oh archons… I’m sorry if I did anything.”
“I didn’t mind,” Ayaka reassures, letting loose a quiet laugh. “And you didn’t do anything wrong, really. You were… very affectionate throughout the whole thing.”
“Right, I remembered a bit of that,” he hesitantly looks over at her. “It wasn’t too much, was it? If I crossed any boundaries-”
“Kazuha,” she stops him immediately. She wanted to give him her honesty, like he’s always done for her, but she struggles to find words. “You didn’t cross any boundaries. In fact, I… you’re…”
She decides to take his hand, draws it closer to her lips before reciprocating the gesture from moments before, leaving a lingering kiss on each finger. When she flits her gaze towards his, there’s that same trickle of awe lighting in his eyes along with a hint of desire, his gaze now filled with more clarity than the drunken-daze.
“You mean the world to me,” she confesses, hushed voice loud in the silence between them. “No matter how much you continue to surprise me, I am willing to learn more of you.”
She hears the shaky intake of his breath, his free hand cradling the side of her jaw. “Ayaka… I really want to kiss you right now.”
She responds by closing the remaining gap between them, meeting his in a gentle embrace. He returns the kiss just as eagerly, allows him to pull her closer as her hand clutches the front of his shirt tightly. When they pull apart, flushed and slightly out of breath, there’s a moment where all they did was stare into each other’s eyes, a soft fondness reflected within one another. Then Kazuha leans in to press a kiss to her forehead, then another to her cheek, does the same to her other cheek, and the playful peck he leaves on her nose incites a small giggle from her. Silence covers them whole, foreheads touching and light kisses shared in between giddy smiles.
“You show me so much,” Kazuha murmurs to her when they reach a lull. “In the little things you do or grand acts such as these, you show me so much love. If I may be honest… I don’t quite know how I was able to catch your gaze.”
And there it was, the insecurities brought to light without the haze. His heart bared open for her, trusting her with his uncertainties.
She takes in a huge breath, tries to find the words. “Kazuha, I don’t think you understand the impact your words have on me. The sincerity in all of it, the honesty in your eyes… you already had my heart ever since I knew you. I sometimes struggle to comprehend what I did to deserve it all.”
“I don’t want you to doubt your worth.”
“And I don’t want you to doubt yours,” Ayaka flushes slightly at what she says next. “I like you. I’m… dating you. Shouldn’t that mean something?”
His eyes search hers, and she sees him mull over her words. Then it softens into a smile, even as red tints his cheeks. “I like you too… So yes, it does mean something. It means…”
“It means…?” She repeats when he doesn’t continue.
He scratches the back of his neck. “It sounds cheesy, thinking of it now.”
“You can tell me.”
“I know.” He still hesitates but when he finally speaks, there is nothing uncertain in the way he delivers it, albeit a bit shy. “It means I like what we have. And I want to stay by your side for as long as you’ll let me. I… want to learn more of you too.” He chuckles, a little embarrassed. “Was that cheesy?“
Ayaka only smiles at him softly, despite her warm cheeks. “So long as you mean it, does it matter?”
“I mean it all.”
“Good.” She leans in and presses a lingering kiss to his lips, which he immediately reciprocates. She pulls away shortly, breathing out, “‘Cause I meant what I said. I… really like you.”
“You do?” He’s smiling however.
“Do you want me to repeat it?”
“It can’t hurt to hear it again.”
She lets out a soft laugh, before conceding to his wishes. “I really like you, Kazuha.”
He leans in closer, noses touching as his red eyes shine. “Again?”
“You make me very happy,” she confesses once more, voice growing softer as the weight of her words grew.
“And so do you.”
“You complete me.”
He sucks in a breath, “Ayaka-“
“You mean so much to me. I mean it all-“
“I love you.”
Silence.
Even with the truth in his eyes and the sincerity in his words, she still couldn’t avoid her disbelief. “What?”
“I love you,” he breathes out again, says it very much the same way, means it in the same way, as he’d done the first time. “I love you, Ayaka. I have for a long time.”
And she hears her heart pounding in the face of vibrant red. “T-This isn’t the drink talking, is it?”
Some of the tension dissipates when he lets loose a soft laugh in the quiet space between them, allowing her to recover slightly from the shock that came to hearing those words. Relief that he wasn’t offended or hurt by the lack of her answer.
“Well,” her heart stutters at the kind, patient smile that he gives her. “I don’t mind waiting ‘till morning to say it again. Nor do I mind waiting at all ‘till I have convinced you that I meant it all.”
Something tells her that it won’t take her long to be convinced. But she takes the offer, reassured that there would be no rush. That she would have time to think it through and finally admit to herself that their feelings aren’t so far apart from each other (that her answer was far closer than she thought).
For now, she chose instead to leave a quick peck on his lips, with a promise, “I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long.”
He responds by initiating the next kiss, short and sweet, lingering a few moments longer than the previous one. They possibly would’ve kept going if Kazuha hadn’t pulled away to let loose a yawn right, reminding Ayaka of the time.
“It’s late,” Ayaka regretfully sighs. “I should probably get going-”
“Or, you can stay the night?” He interjects.
She hesitates, “If it’s not a bother-“
“I want you to.”
“-then I’ll stay,” she says, relief coming through her with exhaustion finally creeping up on her.
They prepare for the night, being lended a fresh set of clothes and an extra toothbrush, before melting into each other’s warm embrace, small kisses shared in between ‘till sleep finally creeps over them.
And when she wakes up to find red eyes with the truth in his eyes, he makes do on his promise to say the words again.