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When Meg wakes up, the first thing her brain registers is a hand in her own, and the first emotion she feels is pure, seizing panic. She hasn’t yet opened her eyes, unable to control her body as the terror surges through her like a livewire, and she, instead, squeezes her eyes shut tighter to fight it. Her heart flutters and tightens in her chest and she feels as if her ribcage could collapse in on her any second, but the pressure around her hand is slowly, slowly bringing her back to reality, and as soon she can smell the sterile, chemical smell of a hospital room and no longer the rotting stench of death, she finally is able to breathe.
“Meg, Megan,” A stern voice says. It sounds familiar, but she just can’t place it.
It takes her a few more moments to open her eyes once her breathing has slowed to a rhythmic, normal speed, and her heart isn’t hammering anymore as much but instead beating, and she’s alive, she’s alive and she’s no longer in that forsaken room with that… forsaken man, that wretched man reduced to a head and a lumbering body, separated yet equally as horrible as he always was. She can almost see his piercing eyes boring into her, drinking in her body, her unwilling body - he was going to just take and take what isn’t his no matter the consequences - she nearly expects to see him, still, when she opens her eyes, but instead she sees the bright white of the hospital room.
There’s a moment of silence, and then - “West?” Her voice comes out a harsh rasp yet she hardly notices, even as the usage of her voice sends a sore pang down her throat and she has to stop herself from crying out, “What are you… where’s Dan?”
Herbert clears his throat and rips his hand from Meg’s almost as if she’s bitten him, leaving her own to fall limply. Meg pulls her hand close to her chest. The scientist turns to look away, peering at the door like Dan would be summoned by the mere gaze alone ( “You’re at his every beck and call, Dan! You barely focus on me anymore!”) and clicks his tongue, “I am here for you, Megan,” He glances back at her, crossing his legs primly, “Daniel left to retrieve you some water. For your throat, I’m assuming.”
Her head throbs and her throat feels like it’s on fire, so she simply nods and brings her attention to the doorway until Dan bounds around the corner and into the room, worry etched into his face; his eyes widen upon seeing Meg and he smiles wide, almost forgetting the circumstances. Usually, she would’ve laughed at the… weirdness of it all; her in a hospital room with her boyfriend, Dan, and his boyfriend, Herbert, who definitely is not the type to sit with her holding her hand, but now all she feels is a numb confusion and a hopelessness that eats away at her soul. She feels lost and heavy, and there’s still a deep set dread filling her heart, but as she looks at Dan she finds herself drifting from it, if only for a moment.
“Oh, Meg, you’re awake! Here, I got you some water for your throat,” Dan’s concerned, it’s evident on his face and in the tone of his voice as he hands her the paper cup and she takes it from his shaking hands gently. She brings it to her lips and takes a small sip, the cold water soothing her throat.
“Danny… what happened? Last I remember one of those things ,” She shudders in distaste, “was choking me out.”
Dan clears his throat and takes one of her hands, curling his fingers around hers, “I managed to save you in time. You’re safe now, it’s dead. Again.”
“And what is he doing here?” Meg turns her attention to Herbert, then, and looks at him with a fury in her eyes, relishing in the way he bristles in discomfort, “Here to berate me? Tell me it was my fault? Go on.”
“Meg…” Dan starts, but Herbert sends him a look.
“No, Daniel. I told you already, Megan, I am here for you . I am here because I understand .”
“How could you possibly understand?” Meg finds her anger bubbling, because how dare Herbert West pretend to understand her, he’s probably going to use her as an experiment or a test subject, he’s probably going to take notes on her - he’s always hated her, why would that change now? How could a man like him even begin to understand? And yet, she finds her breath catching in her throat when the man stands up, suddenly, a similar flame blazing in his own eyes, and she regrets her words immediately, the feeling of pride sinking and melting into a heavy shame.
“Because I’ve been through it! I’m doing what I wish somebody had done for me!”
Silence. Herbert’s chest is heaving from shouting, and his hands are shaking; he shakes them out aggressively and sits back down with surprising calmness. Meg holds her breath in the silence while Dan merely stares at him, soaking in the words as he squeezes her hand tightly as warm tears begin to gather in the corners of his wide eyes.
“It was a while ago, in Switzerland. I had… agreed to go out for drinks with a group of men that worked closely with Gruber. They got me drunk and I told them about my subcutaneous mastectomy. Revealing that information was a mistake on my part.”
“Subcutaneous mastectomy? As in…” Dan interrupts.
“Yes, sex reassignment. They asked questions, so many questions, and then… well,” He trails off, hands still shaking, and lifts his head to make eye contact with Meg, “I am only telling you this so that you understand that I am being serious when I say that I am here for you.”
He speaks to her like she's… a person, and not just a whore that Dan's picked up on the street. Meg knows Herbert's distaste for her like the back of her hand, she knows that he believes her to be a nuisance, a stupid woman getting in the way of his work, getting in the way of him and Dan, but it's different now. He finally sees her.
“I… Herbert, I am so sorry. Thank you,” Meg feels tears sliding down her cheeks, the idea that Herbert had once felt as powerless as she had making her want to grieve for him, and they look at eachother and understand each other, then, the silence becoming comfortable as the three sit. Herbert nods.
West's hand comes up to scratch at his neck as he attempts to will the overwhelming… feelings from his body before they overflow, but it doesn't work. Instead he elects to shake his hands out again, and for once it earns him no concerned looks, no worried words being exchanged between those around him ( "Is he okay? Do we need to get a nurse?" ), no, instead Dan and Meg look at him like he's normal. They look at him like he's human.
It's… new.
“You’re transsexual? How come you never told me? ” Dan’s shocked voice cuts through the careful quiet, and Meg gasps and hits his chest gently, sending him a look that shuts him up quickly, and he looks away in shame.
“Dan, why do you think?” West sighs, "Why would I have told-"
“Meg’s the same! She’s had all the surgeries!” Dan exclaims, a smile on his face, "You could've told us!"
Herbert stops shaking out his hands, “We are the same?"
“Yes, oppositely, obviously, but yes," Meg pets Dan's hair and the man calms down a bit, slumping down into the hospital chair beside her bed, and she continues, "I can't believe you… I… oh my God."
She laughs for the first time in days, soft and breathy, and she's amazed rather than scared, and so, so glad Herbert opened up to them - maybe, just maybe, she thinks, I can get along with West after all.
Herbert's little smile tells her everything she needs to know. Meg shoves her hand at him and after a moment's hesitation he takes it, sliding his chair closer to her hospital bed so they can sit closer together while Dan does the same, and it's nice. It's nice, and for the first time in weeks, she feels… okay.
She can get through this.