Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Loid ....Are you happy?"

The blonde man shifted in place, cyan eyes now pinned to her own as he ran his hand absentmindedly through her hair. Yor looked at him, crimson eyes awaiting, grazing him with a most exquisite view: Yor giving him her undivided attention.

"Well...what do you mean?" He answered, perplexed at the sudden question, those pretty eyes of hers eyeing him.

The two lay bare as could be, entangled in each other's warmth, engulfed by the sweet scent of their love-making. The afterglow blessed their mushy brains, both still swimming in pleasure. The young woman switched her position to fully rest her weight a top her husband, breasts pressed against his chest, heart to heart.

"I'd like to believe, that the slight twinkle in your eyes,....the one you get only when you're with us is somewhat real...you know? The look you have when...." She trailed off.

"When?" He pressed on teasingly, his bashful wife adverting her gaze.

"When we are like this." Yor added simply.

"Be more specific, Yor." His hands travelled down to her waist.

"Y-you kn-now when you-"

"You mean when I make love to you?" He added shortly.

"Yes when.....LOID!"

He chuckled slightly at her antics. No matter how many times he made her his, or how well he knew her body, every freckle, every scar, every single detail, like the back of his hand. His cute little wife would forever be bashful about explicitness, even if she had partaken in the activities countless times.

God he could do nothing but adore her.

So utterly adorable.

"Truth be told...you make me the happiest man alive, Yor."

I Love You

Twilight smiled to himself in contempt, the same smitten feeling that he associated with being close to Yor creeping in. Her smile, her eyes, rosy cheeks, gentle hands that held him so dearly....all at once.

Her.

She blinked furiously in response, hands actively drawing patterns on his out of nervousness, her teeth chewing at her plump lips.

"You,....our home, ....our daughter." He pronounced in between kisses to her forehead.

"This life is so magnificent to me because of you, my love." He said finally resting a hand on her cheek. It wasn't a lie.

My Yor.

My Wife.

Mine.

At least until the end of the mission do us apart.

Not a lie.

Twilight grimaced slightly at the thought, but gave her a lopsided grin nonetheless.

"Thank you." He said kissing her temple, large hands gingerly stroking her cheek.

For so, so much my Yor.

The young woman was red beyond comparison, a ditzy smile plastered on her face. Her husband's slight change of demeanor going unnoticed.

"I'm glad to hear that.....because I never thought I'd have the capacity of ever giving myself to anyone...like this" She gave him the most tender kiss to date, leaving him astonished as her nose bumped his, as a little giggle escaped her lips.

"Until I met you."

He gasped in awe as she smiled at him so lovingly, purely.....entirely his, with a sincerity he could never give her. His subconscious yelled at him to to not get involved any further...because reality was dwelling so closely with their perfect pretend life that he had trouble defining where one ended an the other started.

It was too late, he had long known this fact.

Just when did he stop pretending?

Had it been when Anya gained that first Stella, and he became as proud of her as one would do with their biological offspring?

Was it when they were dining on a typical Tuesday night and the atmosphere became overwhelmingly comfortable?

Or had it been the night he first took Yor?

That precious night...

Acting upon impulse, leading them to a place of complete bliss, ...had it been that night?

He couldn't tell...

But for tonight he would allow himself to drown in the feeling.

For tonight, Twilight could be entirely hers, as she was his.
....................................

He was in big trouble.

"Anya, sweetie, don't forget to pack your rain coat!"

"Got it mama! Love you! Bye papa!" The young girl replied.

"Bye sweetie! Be careful with the do-"

A door-slam could be heard as their daughter made her way to the bus stop, running late, as usual.

"Door." Yor frowned.

She'll never grow out of it....will she?

......He wouldn't stay long to see it for himself anyway.

It had been 5 years. 5 years entangled in the most elaborate web of lies he had crafted to date. A famed spy accompanied by the two most wonderful girls in existence (and their loyal pet), creating the perfect little family.

Finally, after years of strategically planning, restless nights, five Tonitrus bolts, 8 Stella stars and countless failed tests later, Operation Strix had finally served its purpose. Donovan Desmond was behind bars, buying time for Westalis' and Ostania's relationship to strengthen, securing their peaceful bond....for now.

It was time to move onto the next mission, the next facet, the next environment......the next fabricated identity.

Next.

Part of his vicious cycle as a spy.

But how could he move on when he felt more himself as Loid Forger : Doctor, loving husband and doting father, than Twilight: famed ultra spy, master of disguise, example of excellency?

How do you move on from the people you call home?

...............................

It was time.

The plan had been set in motion and all was ready to terminate Operation Strix.

Bond

Anya

Yor....

....Wouldn't matter tomorrow anymore. He had received his next assignment, new mission and alias.

It had been done.

So why? Why was he struggling so much to detach himself from the surging feelings of guilt?

As he kissed Anya goodnight and read her a final bedtime story, all he could think of was that this had to be the best bedtime story he had ever told, one last time for his little girl.

My daughter.

Our daughter.

"Papa?" the sleepy girl suddenly asked with a small frown.

"Yes, sweetheart?" He replied instantly.

"Thank you for choosing me. You're the best papa I could've hoped for."

That night, he returned to their room with the image of their daughter imprinted in his mind...

How she had referred to him almost as if she had known this was good-bye.

"Loid, is something wrong?

His wife asked from their bed, worry painted on her features as she took in the slight slump of her husband's usually perfectly postured shoulders upon entering the room.

"Everything is fine." He lent her one of his practiced smiles. As she sat at the foot of their bed, eyes widened in worry.

He made his way to their closet, pulling out on of his many white undershirts and discarding his trousers, leaving him in his boxers.

"Are you absolutely sure? You look a tad....sad." she pressed on.

"I'm telling you, my dear..."

He placed a chaste kiss on her lips and settled in for bed, taking his spot next to her.

"It's all good"

He hugged her frame to his wide chest with enough force to alert her. His large hands grabbing a hold of her glutes, changing their position as she was now straddling him.

"Perfect actually." Loid said as he looked into her eyes, kissing her passionately.

Loid hoped she wouldn't pry anymore, he couldn't lie to her much longer...he wouldn't bear saying good-bye to her.

One last time.

Let me be yours forever... one last night.

"I-In that case....I n-need to tell you something...s-something important." She stammered.

"Mhhm...go on" he continued with his assault on her neck.

"You see, t-the issue a-at hand i-is.."

"God Yor, you're perfect. So perfect. I love you, Yor." He fought back the tears that were threatening to shatter this moment.

"I Love you too, Loid." she said whole-heartedly.

"I'm so glad I found you, thank you, thank you for allowing me to be yours, Yor." He peppered her neck with gentle kisses as she melt against his touch.

"L-Loid I'm serious!" Yor tried pulling away.

"So am I." He blinked.

"I'm-"

"Stunning." He interrupted.

"I'm.....ugh! Telling you tomorrow, just don't sto-!"

And with that they spent the rest of the night in each other's warmth, as she looked forward for another day by her loving husband's side.

But that tomorrow never came.

The morning after, she awoke in the arms of nobody, a sudden emptiness filling their home.

"Forgive me, mama." Anya had apologized as if it had been her fault. Her daughters face painted in guilt and remorse. She couldn't quite understand her daughters choice of words. She still didn't understand them.

Her husband was simply gone.

And just like that, the love of her life had disappeared from the face of the earth, never to be seen again. Leaving behind nothing but their shared memories...and a little more of him in pieces.

...............................

What a coward he had been.

But there was no other way he could have left them behind. Leaving them peacefully, in their slumber as he left them with one last fabricated memory to remember him by. He had never made love to Yor quite like that night. Every touch, every kiss and gentle word, so thought out and sincere as his body begged for him to stay, leaving small parts of him with her, his touch impregnated on her skin. He hoped she felt how much he had wanted to remain by her side.

It had been months now. But one too many drinks the previous night was all it had taken for him to keep rambling about his previous life and how he missed it, missed them. How he yearned to hear their gentle laughs one last time, to kiss his wife's tender lips once more, to be able to make love to her every single day, and give himself to her as she deserved. To watch Anya grow into a more accomplished version of herself, experiencing her antics, to finish watching the latest episode of Bondman with her, to walk Bond on Saturday mornings, enjoying small blissful moments with his family.

What he would give to be Loid Forger again.

And now there he was scurrying in the middle of the night to an all too familiar location. From afar he could already make out two human-like figures through the living rooms window, one smaller than the other. A small smile made it's way to his lips, one that hadn't been present in a while. Only with them.

"My girls." The man said to himself, smiling.

Twilight inched closer, shifting his binoculars to get a clearer view of the two figurines. His eyes almost watered at the sight. They sat in the living room floor playing some kind of board game together, they chatted away for minutes. The usual banter going on, and the conspicuous dog staring at the window in his direction, almost as if Bond could see him. After Anya's apparent victory, they put all the pieces away and cleared the coffee table. Then, Anya helped her mother stand up.....

and placed a soft kiss on her bulging belly.

He blinked once, twice, thrice....

No.

His eyes fluttered intensely, unable to take his eyes away from such view. He watched as his daughter put away their board game and helped her mother to the couch before heading off to her room.

¿How could I ever forgive myself?

The love of his life sat crossed legged on their sofa, clad in nothing but an old t-shirt he recognized as his, caressing her belly gingerly, cooing at the small life growing inside of her.

I'm so sorry, my love.

He wanted to barge into that apartment and apologize endlessly to her. Tell her how badly he had missed her, how it would all be okay now, how much he had wanted to stay- but still....didn't.

It wasn't long before tears rolled down the infamous spy's face.

Such a coward.
.......................

Chapter Text

- 2 years ago-

On one particular night she had cooked dinner for them after taking cooking classes for weeks. And for once, her food was decent enough for consumption. Yor beamed as the pair of daughter and father approved her cuisine. Eating away at the curry and rice she had prepared so lovingly.

"Mama this is stup-....stup-..stu-pedullum!" Anya offered a wide smile.

"Stupenduous, Anya." Her father corrected.

"Yes, That." The little girl giggled "Mama's a super cook!"

"I agree" Loid continued.

"Is it...good!?" Yor perked up.

"The best we've had from you, I'd say." Loid smiled at her in approval.

"Yup! Yup! Anya wants more pwease!" The little girl handed her plate to her mother, ushering her for a second round of her cooking.

"I......I'm v-very glad to hear that." Yor offered them a sweet smile.

"Yor?"

"No, it's just ..I-" she broke down in tears.

'I finally did it! Something fit for a mother! And I did it right!'

"Yor? Are you alright?" Loid stood as he looked at her in worry.

"Mama?!" Anya did the same.

"Ah, I'm....fine absolutely! I'm sorry I just..." She sobbed.

Loid gave their little one a look.

"Hey Anya, why don't you go brush your teeth, I'd like to speak to Mama." He said kindly.

After sensing the tension and the upcoming talk between the two, Anya exited their dinning area.

"I'm sorry I made her leave." Yor whimpered.

"No, she had to go to bed anyways." Her husband shook his head.

"I...." The black haired woman made herself smaller as the spies piercing gaze remained in a worried state. Inching closer to her, his hand trembed as it made contact with her bare back.

"Hey...you know you can tell me anything, right?" He said gently, his hand moving in a soothing circular motion.

"I just....I'm so happy! I finally did something right!" She offered him a tensed smile in between tears.

He frowned.

Loid came to realize with time, that as much he would tell her otherwise, Yor still believed herself to be unfit to be Anya's mother.

To be his wife.

If only she knew how excellent she'd been so far. Not many people, if anyone, would be as careful an attentive as she had been, not to mention dedicated, to a household that was merely pretend.

What entranced him the most about her was her dedication to her own. Loid could sum up the kind of woman she was from her upbringing and the way Yuri would postrate her on a pedestal as if she were a diety....

If he had been in her brother's place he would've done the same.

To have the honor of calling this gracious being his (fake) wife was a blessing. This woman, that had so diligently taken in Anya as if she had birthed her herself, and carried their household with a passion and dedication that left him mesmerized day by day. If only she could see it. If only she would know how special she was to Anya, and how to the little girl looked up to her in oh so many ways. If only she could know how dear she was to him, god, how much he needed her. How much he-

"You're doing amazing...never doubt it. You're so good to us."

"But I can never be-"

Before she could even begin to mention his non-existent ex-wife, he interrupted.

"Trust me, Anya loves you and I..."

'I adore you.'

The words were caged by the lips that kept his honesty concealed. That had been just one of many times he held himself back.

"I mean...I'm really proud of you. Keep it up."
Out of nervousness, he patted her shoulder like comrades did and turned the corner, leaving Yor stupefied.

"Good...night?" She frowned as she collected herself.

'Maybe he's just saying it to make me feel better. No one wants to see another cry, i'm sure its uncomfortable.' she sighed.

'Again a burden.'

The Forger matriarch turned to gather the dirtied dishes, only to be met by a poof of pink hair at the hip.

The little girl frowned at her.

"I'm sorry you had to see Mama cry, baby. I was just really really happy that you liked my food so much." Yor said soothingly.

Anya smiled as she hugged her Mommy back.

"It was soo delicious! Almost as tasty as peanuts......Almost! But even if it hadn't been good I would've still eaten it. Because Anya loves you! And she never wants to see Mommy cry!" The infant said, sure of herself.

"Oh Anya, you're such a wonderful little girl. I love you too, sweetie." Yor knelt and brought her to a sweet embrace which Anya returned gleefully.

"Mhmmph....and Daddy also loves you. Much more than you know!" Anya added.

"L-Loid? No, no I'm sure he-"

"Trust me mama, he loves you sooo much." The little girl hurried to her room as she kissed her mama goodnight.

Again, leaving Yor astonished.

As Anya ran to her room she could hear the words in her papa's head. Lately, they had been louder than usual, specially when it came to Mama.

'It's just for the mission, just a ploy for the mission. God, but the way she-'

He repeated as always.

But she could also sense all of the wonderful and beautiful thoughts her Papa had of Mommy recently. She didn't worry, she knew eventually it would happen, Bond had showed her, in no time, her family would be real!

It was just a matter of time. She had to be patient. After all, her parents already loved each other so much...there was nothing that could go wrong.

Happily, she returned to her room, dreaming of a time when her parents would finally accept how much they adored each other.

.........

The sun was setting, and Loid had come home from work particularly early that day, orange hues greeting him as he opened the door to their apartment.

A heavy silence invaded his eardrums.

A rare ...... silence.

His senses where alerted just when he remembered their little girl had gone away for a school field trip.

That meant that he could have some alone time with his wife

His fake wife.
....
...
..
.

Where was his wife?

After a long day, all he needed was to see her face, to have her with him, to be invaded by the glee in her welcoming smile.

Instead, he found himself looking for her all over their home.

He finally found her peacefully sleeping in the most remote of places, curled up on the living room floor, just behind the coffee table. The soft rise of her chest indicating her state of deep slumber, he could only stare in awe.

She truly was a stunning woman. He couldn't take his eyes away from such a view.

How could he?

Her dark, ebony locks were sprawled all over the carpet, almost like a halo over her head, befitting of the angel she was. Her brows furrowed in discomoft as she stirred slightly, her plump lips brought out in an adorable pout.

Smiling to himself, he walked over and carried her to their bed, letting her melt slowly into the velvety sheets.

Loid removed her heeled boots, freeing her dainty feet off their confinement. As he looked her over, he removed an intrusive lock of hair that blocked his view of her beautiful features.

He almost scolded himself for performing such gesture.

Watching her longingly from the door, he wished he could curl up beside her, hold her like normal (real) couples did.

The spy shook the thought away.

'That would not be beneficial to our agreement in any way.'
...
....
......
....
...

'Although... If I leave before she wakes up....there would be no problem.'

Scratching his head, both options circled his head... The second one seeming all too tantalizing.....

'You're slipping, Twilight.'

He left the room before his body could betray his mind any further.

It wasn't until an hour later that Yor stirred awake. Confused, remembering falling asleep on the couch to....being in ....Loid's room?

Why was she in Loid's room?

'I'm in Loid's bed?"

She took a good look in the mirror in front of her. How undecent she looked. She ran her hands through her messy hair, failing at taming it slightly. After making helself more presentable, she peeked out the hallway and found Loid going through some paperwork in the living room.

"Oh Yor! You're awake." A smile plastered on his face as he greeted her.

"Y-yes, I just well, came from work then drank some tea....then I-well" she trailed off, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"Passing out from exhaustion has happened to all of us. Don't stress about it. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, but I believe our bed is a much more comfortable place to nap on." He smiled sincerely.

"...I, yes. Wait, "Our" bed?" Her eyes widened in confusion.

"Yes, I took the liberty of taking you to our room." Loid continued, nonchalantly.

"O-Our room?!" The young woman flushed to a great measure.

"Yor?" Loid questioned.

The it dawned on him. The look on her face said it all.

Hed taken her to...not "their" room. But "His" room.
...
.....
.......

Idiot.

"I uh...sorry! What I meant is the.. the larger bedroom, yes." Loid quickly rambled.

"Your bedroom." The woman added.

"Precisely." He nodded.

"Ah, I see! You made a....mistake" she rubbed her arm.

"It appears I have... I'm sorry, I'm sure it must've been... confusing. Uncomfortable even." The spy grimaced.

"D-Don't worry I..."

Her voice drowned out as she mumbled into herself.

It was understandable that he'd make such mistake. At least to him, it was merely a miscalculation that represented how deeply committed he was to his role of fake husband.

Definitely not a mishap.

Not the product of an illusion fabricated by his heart from the countless times he had dreamt about sleeping in her soothing arms and waking up next to her.

Not because she was the object of his mundane fantasies of course.

'Get it together, Twilight.'

"Definitely not."

..........

It had started with her eyes.

Gentle, loving eyes that disarmed him.

When the sunlight had hit her in just the right angle..... It was then he noticed. Had she always been this beautiful? No it couldn't be.

She was mesmerizing of course, but what was it that made her so endearing recently?

There was no way.

He found himself prancing around his room after one of many domestic encounters with Yor.

It was just a simple gesture, an action so simple, but so caring that had been enough for her to invade his mind all day. It wasn't the first time. Her, being so devoted an endearing had showed him many, many times before how far she was willing to go for their family, for him, in her many sweet gestures.

So why was he now......

Had she even known the power she held over him? That ever since he started perceiving her as his, he'd find himself thinking of ways to keep her smile alive? Of how many sleepless nights he would lay on his back wishing her beside him? How he had memorized her particular scent and come to associate it with home? Did she-

Did she?

Was she doing this on purpose? Was she a mole sent in to mess with the progress of his operation? Yor had to be an infiltrate, a temptation fabricated just for him, designed to his liking...somehow...

She had to be....otherwise.....

'This is not real.'

How else could he explain the deep feelings of ....affection? That were slowly bubbling up the surface, threating to burst out soon.

How? .....When?

It wasn't possible. Not for him, who had no sense of identity, someone who hardly remembered where he stood outside from his work. Someone with his years of experience, his strong resolve and solidified drive.

Was he even human?

He'd been warned about these complications. He had just never thought he'd be prey to those feelings. Seeing himself as immune had been his downfall, because when he looked into her eyes and held her hand momentarily. When she looked his way and smiled at him, as if she saw beneath all the layers under and still chose to be with him. When he got home and was wrapped around their homey energy.

He knew.

Loid knew all too well that this had slowly converted into his most intimate wish, and in the seeming realness of it all he had met with her, found himself trying to keep it alive...as if....as if not the mission, but his own life depended on it.

Twilight had finally shed the last curtain of denial, behind his lust, desire, and wonder.

He now saw the undeniable truth behind it all.

A clear one.

As simple one.

A terrifying one.

He had fallen in love.

..........

"You're kidding me right?"

The anguish on Twilights face indicated otherwise.

"You think you're in love with Yor?"

"I've.. come to that conclusion. Yes."

"You? You're in love with her??" The curly haired man questioned.

"It appears to be that way." He set his drink down at the bar.

"Twilight in love....Now that's something I never thought I'd hear."

"Tell me about it, Franky."

"So what are you gonna do about it? I'm sure you've got it all planned out, don't you?"He wiggled his brows.

"I will not act upon them....these....my feelings. It would be highly unprofessional of me as it would only compromise the mission further. Feelings are an unpredictable variable that we cannot risk to uphold." He stated.

"Wait! Wait? You're kidding me, right?"

"There's no reason for me to-"

"Then what is the purpose of telling me?"

"Because-"

"Well I-" he attempted to continue but he found himself unable to formulate words of any sort.

'Why am I telling him this?"

He was again left speechless. Why did he feel the strong urge to share his thoughts with anyone?

"Are you dying that much to express your feelings?"

"Excuse me?"

"If you're not planning on sharing them....why would you tell me...that you're actually in love with your fake wife."

The blonde man was left perplexed.

"If that was your true course of action, the less people know, the better. But here you are, telling me your strategy is burying your feelings. That you've chosen to ignore the calling of your heart...for the mission?"

"You know I don't deserve someone like her. S-She deserves so much better..so many things....that I could never give her. That is, if she is even interested in the same way." Twilight grimaced.

"Man...cut yourself some slack. After all this time..if anyone deserves happiness, it's you. You've finally, finally found it, and you're telling me you're just gonna let her go?"

"I cannot condemn her to a life like that. She's been through enough already."

"And you haven't?"

"Listen, coming from someone who's not had the chance to...dwell in that...particular area for long periods of time...I shall know, that love is precious. Extremely so."

"And now that you've found it man, ...it would truly be a waste to keep it to yourself. This is your family."

"Tell me, are you willing to let her go? Would you give her away? If tomorrow or in a few months time she found another man, one that would give her a real love, a real family. Would you allow her to leave?"

"No."

"Then?"

He was stumped for a moment, before coming clear.

"What will you do?"

"I would like to be that man."

............

After that, he'd tried to hide it for months to no avail. Repress the feelings, ignore the tingle in his heart when she was with him.

He'd been holding it up gracefully, as best as he could without showing. But it all went down the time she had seriously thought about leaving.

He'd come home one day awaiting to be greeted by Yor's warmth, only to find most of her things packed in the living room, in organized boxes. Following sounds of things being shuffled he found her in her room, rummaging through her clothes. The previous night she'd been cooped up in her room and Loid had decided it would be best if he let her be so they could resolve everything together, but that morning she'd gone to work much earlier than usual.

Now he found himself in the current situation.

"Yor, what's all of this?" Loid looked around the almost empty room confused.

She froze at the sudden voice at the door.

"My...things" she said quietly as she continued folding her clothes.

"I can see that, but why are you packing up?"
He closed the door beside him as he took her hands and guided her to sit on the bed.

"Oh Loid, this is.....I just....." She looked away in an emotion that Loid could only describe as shame.

"......let's not kid ourselves."

"Yor?" His expression became worried.

"I'm l-leaving. And I think it would be best if I'm gone before Anya gets back." Yor said avoiding his gaze.

"What? What do you-" He was flabbergasted.

"Please don't make me spell it out. I have always felt like....if I.....Even today, I-I know the real reason Anya loves to be away, is because she doesn't have the heart to tell me how awful of a job I'm doing. I've always known. Deep down, I know you and Anya still need her real mother. And I......." For a moment, she got lost in thought, her mind scrambled on all the things weighing her down.

"I'm not good enough for her. For you. I have never been." She tensed, squeezing his hands in her own.

A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, years as a spy helping him formulate the correct course of action. But this time it was useless. Nothing could have prepared him for the reality of her departure.

"You should find someone else, I ...simply can't do this anymore. I would not want to burden you any longer. I can't stand it." She nodded.

"Yor, what are you talking about? L-Leaving? If anything, you're doing a phenomal job."

"B-Besides there are...other things, things that could become hazardous towards the agreement, that are entirely my fault and are out of my control-"

"You can't leave" he stated unshakingly.

...her.... Leave ....me...

"I'm sorry for taking up space. I tried. I really tried Loid. I'm sorry." She said attempting to stand up.

"Thank you for accommodating me, you-"

"You can't leave. Anya needs you, Yor."
The man pulled her back down closer to him.

"Need? Loid, don't be silly you don't need me. Anyone could take my place. You can easily repla-"

"I don't want a replacement! I don't want a simple stand in. I want you."

It's always been only you.

"M-Me?- Why would you want a messy, untalented, clumsy impostor of a wife?"

"Because you're you. Simply you-"

"No! Loid I don't want to keep being and inconvenience. I'm sorry if even the sudden notice is unpleasant, but it's something I've fully decided. Now if you'll excuse me-" Yor stood and reached for the door, when a hand slammed against it, denying her exit.

"You're not leaving." The voice from behind her said.

"L-Loid?" Yor uttered in panic, her eyes looking up at him. She'd never seen him perform such an aggressive gesture.

"I can't...won't let you leave...because I.." He breathed heavily, looking down.

'I'll never recover if you do.
I won't be the same.
Our lives would be incomplete.'

'I would be incomplete.'

'Tell her.'

He couldn't.

"I need you here, because all I can ever think about is you. Because I find myself thinking about you and worrying for you, and admiring you from afar and I can't take it anymore. I don't know what you've done to me Yor." He finally looked her in the eyes.

"W-what are you saying, L-Loid are you okay?

"You can't leave ...because I've come to...I want you to stay...my heart needs you to stay." The man looked at her pleadingly.

"Your h-heart? Is there something wrong with it? Is it my f-fault?" She barely manage to put out. Her mind was currently a mess, her heartbeat getting faster by the moment.

"No, no. The reason I feel like this is not because of physical damage....but because I've ...come to harbour feelings for you."

"Feeling for?......" Her eyes widened in disbelief.

Loid only looked away.

He couldn't bear looking her in the eye if it meant it might only push her away more than she already was. He was risking his mission, but most importantly his heart. It was a first for him. He hadn't been this vulnerable in ages, if ever. Loid understood the heavy burden of depositing your feelings onto someone else, but now he was doing the very thing he swore to abnegate all those years ago.

He was cutting open his heart for Yor to see it. And hoped, silently, deeply, intensely, that she would feel the same. He would loose his mind if she didn't.

"L-Loid I don't, think I understand.. ?" She was shaking her head in disbelief.

"I-I think you do, Yor."

"Believe it." He pleaded.

...
.....
.......
'N-No...h-he can't mean THAT. Does he?'
........
.....
...
'Is he....as well'?
...
...

"No, L-Loid?? You can't be serious." Yor shook her head.

"Yes. Romantic feelings for you, I...." His hand left the door, finding it's resting place on her cheek.

"No...S-stop, please it's not funny." Yor cried.

"I fell in love."

"Stop it."

"With you."

Loid could feel her as she froze and slowly came to meet his gaze.

"I know this oversteps our agreement. And I respect your feelings if you don't feel the same way of course. This is not what you bargained for." He spoke sincerely.

"But...for these...selfish reasons. I-I need you to stay by my side. I need for my days to be filled with everything you do. I need you in my life. I want you in my life."

Loid finally mustered up the courage to bring her into his arms, as he cradled his face in the crook of her neck and shoulder.

"Please tell me you do too"

"I-I don't understand.....w-why?" She trembled.

"Why what? He whispered.

.....
...
.

"Why would you?"
....
...
..
.

"Why?"

"W-why would you love...someone like me? How c-could you?" Yor began, her voice shaking.

Loid's heart shrunk at the clear implications of her self-deprication. He often wondered just who could possibly have made her this unsure of her own value , who would be cruel enough to stomp on her confidence like that. Who could ever look at her and think she was anything but the most divine human being to ever walk this earth?

"Y-You're so....incredible and charming and just.....perfect in every sense of the word....I......and I'm...nothing." She tried to smile.

"No, Yor. You're my everything. You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're..so kind... gentle and loving. You're driven, easily the strongest woman I've ever know, both literally and figuratively. I find in you so many qualities that I admire, things that inspire me. Like the way you would never give up on making Anya the happiest little girl, and how safe she feels around you. How you make me the happiest man alive. The way you smile from your eyes when we go out on walks or how you perk up. Because when I'm with you, I feel like I finally know who to be."

He inched closer, looking into her ruby eyes.

"Yours."

He could see her doubt slowly dissipating and her bottom lip quivered.

"And don't even get me started on how mesmerizing you are. I find it hard sometimes to even take my eyes off you."

"Stop it." She laughed lightly.

"You- I don't believe...why are you saying all these things?" Yor gave him a bittersweet smile.

"Because I mean them."

"And I could continue like this all day.....blurting out every single detail I find fascinating about you....but I need to know one thing"

He cupped her cheeks with his hands.

"Please...I need to know"

The woman tried looking away as he got closer her cheeks turning red and her eyes watery, nervousness invading her.

"Yor....don't try to hide. Look at me."

Her crimson eyes were fixated on his chest, drilling a hole into it. Loid tilted her chin up, making her eyes look his way.

"Look at me."

When she finally does, he swears he's yet to witness a more compelling view. This was it. It all came down to one simple question.

"D-Do you...love me....like I love you?"

He set his forehead against hers and brought his hand up to stroke her cheek lovingly.

"I-"

She closed her eyes as she breathed in heavily. Her back pressed to the door as she tried to articulate words. Yor's breathing became erratic as the seconds passed.

"Please Yor....I'm going mad." Now he was the one who's eyes were threatening to spill tears from. Loid knew he wouldn't stand it. If he had to say good bye to this life...all because of some... selfish feelings...feelings that were not to be reciprocated, he wouldn't survive it. As much as he hated to admit, his life did depend on it at the moment. On his love. And potentially...

"I do....love you."

Her love for him.

"I've long known....."

Slowly, he opened his eyes, those tedious tears coming out as he tried to stop them. His heart rejoiced as the beatings became faster and all because of her. The woman in front of him. His lovely wife. His wife who-

"I've loved you for far longer than I should have."

Suddenly he was crying too as he held her in his arms, disbelief still in his arms she poured her heart out to him.

"E-Every day that goes by, in every little thing you do for me, I find myself loving you. W-When you look at me as if I could do nothing wrong, so patient and forgiving, even when I don't deserve it, I love you. I love you when you are with me and I feel as if everything finally makes sense, as if I have a true purpose. I love you when you make me feel proud for being me, when you make me feel like it's okay to be me. I've loved you for far longer than I should. Since, my days have become brighter, and I have a reason to be, for you both."

Her own hand travelled to his cheek as her finger grazed it softly. Yor's gaze was loving, extremely so as she looked at the man she would call the love of her life.

"A-And it's been killing me. Whenever I look at you, I ache to tell you how I feel about you....but I've always been too scared. Scared you might....not want....me....want..... this."

Loid had no time to speak as her lips met his own, and he soon found himself immersed in a delicate pleasure he would not recover from.

Her lips graced his own shyly, with inexperience, he could tell. But it was all too adorable to him. Her movements were tender and loving' hands wrapped around his neck. Loid adored her eagerness and this bolder side of her, usually she would have needed some sort of liquor to iniciate the gesture. But his time it came wholly from her own willingness and desire. This was why he could tell how deeply from her heart this kiss was coming.

He smiled through the kiss as he broke apart, only to take over their kiss as he pulled her closer to him. The man could feel her form trembling against him, so slowly, a hand of his came to rest on her back, rubbing soothingly in circular motions.

For a sincere moment, he was completely surrounded by the feeling of her. It was as if an electric jolt surged throughout his body everytime he met her soft, plump lips. Loid could feel her clinging to his suit, as her nails dug deep into the fabric. Probably, brazing herself from the intense emotions she too was surely feeling. Or at least that's what he had though until he realized she was almost blueish.

It was Yor who broke the kiss in need of air as she panted heavily. They both laughed it off in unison, as he kissed her cheek.

"S-sorry, I don't really-" she began.

He simply placed his forehead against hers, kissing the tip of her nose.

"It's alright....it was perfect." He touches her gingerly, and she feels as light as air.

"Loid..."

Soon enough her gaze finally meets his, and he takes in every detail. As he gazed into the ruby paradise of her eyes and saw a twin smile to his own, he knew he'd finally found it in her heart.

"God......I love you, Yor."

His home.

Chapter Text

-W.I.S.E: Ostanian H.Q: 5 years ago-

"Not to question your authority or judgement but....are you absolutely sure this is the only way?"

Handler looked up at the blonde spy from her cup of coffee.

"Yes. The reasons have been incredibly detailed in the report."

"I do understand, but....with a child involved...there are too many possible unfortunate outcomes. High risk variables at that. Leaving the mission in a child's hands..." Twilight replied objectively.

"I am aware of your dislike for children but this is the only strategy that would work efficiently. Now more than ever, suspicion is high on individuals that may be seen as sudden intruders to close-circled parties like Donovan Desmond's"

She continued.

"More so, we are placing all our hopes on your expertise to carry this difficult mission all the way to success. You are the only man suitable for this task as...I have my hopes placed on the fact that you will surely not succumb to the implications of being part of a fake family."

"Succumb?" He raised a brow.

"Some might say that the longer you share a space with someone, the closer you become. I trust that your involvement with your future wife and child will not surpass the limits into reality. Domesticity....can be quite tempting." She pressed on.

"Absolutely not. I can assure you, my duty and compromise is devoted only to my nation." He stood and left swiftly.

Handler only smiled to herself.

"That I can trust."

..............

-Present Time-

Weeks after the discovery of Yor's pregnancy, his mental state had started to take a toll on his physical health. He became the image of a Deadman walking. He'd been completely off-duty for a week, needing time off to clear his head. All the while, a single thought circulated the spy's mind.

His family.

Wishing he could be with them. With her....

She was his day

She was his noon

His night.....

His entire life.

Loid needed to be back. Desperately, now more than ever, he couldn't wait a day longer.

He would not bear it.

After finding out Yor was pregnant, he often visited them from the exterior, making sure they were alright. But every time he found himself taking longer and longer to leave. He'd visit them at night when they were all together, singing, watching a film, playing board games.... simple mundane things that he so desperately wished to be a part of again.

It all changed one particular time when Yuri had come over to stay for the weekend.

God, he had forgotten about Yuri. He swallowed hard.

Oh, what awaited him.

Yuri had been oh-so disapproving of him before, heck, Loid wondered if he would get a bigger reaction from once he came back: Yor or Yuri? Would he even welcome their child? Or would he despise it for being half him.....His question was answered when he saw Yuri pull out o box full of supplies for his sister and the baby, then he knelt down and spoke to the small life inside Yor, while holding a yellow onesie.

"That's supposed to be me." He frowned in jealousy.

Seeing them like that only made him realize how much his love needed him, an ache spreading through his chest.

Surely there were moments like this, were she was accompanied by her brother. But it wasn't always like this. Most days she was all alone.

Abandoned by him.

As much as he wanted, he couldn't hate Yuri, He was only looking after her the same way he should be. If anything, he thanked him. And she could see it in her face, the contrast of uneasiness versus her relaxed features when he was there, cheering her up.

He yearns to treasure that smile forever. Happy, delighted, as she should always be.

But it only lasted for so long, the scene changing drastically once Yuri left. His love sat on their bed, opening up presents she had just received from her brother, pulling out one after another, but she looked saddened. He could already sense it. He had memorized her very being. Those quivering lips and trembling hands.... a slight intake of air to fill her lungs and... soon enough....

Tears.

Her face contorted with suffering, as her cheeks reddened and her wails were heard.

His heart tore at the her next action.

Yor stood up slowly to their closet, where all of Loid Forgers clothes still remained, pristine as always. Her hands going through each one of them as if she were counting, until she fetched a particular one and hugged it to her chest.

Curious at her gesture, his eyes remained glued to the sight. She came to their bed, and draped said shirt a top a pillow. Nuzzling her cheek into it, her hand came to rest over her belly gingerly.

Guilt invaded him.

He couldn't even bring himself to think how many times a similar event had occurred.

Loid could see how much she pleaded for him, how much she needed him.

"I'll be back soon, my heart. I promise."

Selfishly enough, Loid had assumed that Anya would be alright with her Mama, that his absence could be tolerated.

Of course he had never contemplated Yor carrying their baby in his departure. But then again, how would he have known? If only he'd known he-

No.

Who was he kidding? Baby on the way or not, there was no way he could've stayed away from his family. He would always come back to them.

To her.

They were now a part of him, and as much as it hurt his pride to admit, Twilight had grown soft. No point in denying it now.
But the idea of being greeted by their warmth day by day was all too endearing. More than the thrill of a mission. More than....saving thousands of lives?

Finally, after decades of disregarding his identity and portraying role upon role assigned to him, he'd found someone he would want to be forever.

And that someone was no longer Twilight.

He'd misjudged allies who had been poor excuses of spies before. Fallen under the charms of women.. or selfishly putting their own wants and needs over their duty and service to the nation.

He'd never thought he'd become one of them. Because he never though he would find a reason strong enough.

The sole idea of erasing your identity implies that these sort of complications would be eliminated, that was precisely what had brought him to excellency. He didn't even remember his real name anymore, only a nickname of sorts. And faces. Many faces that impacted his life and had made him the man he had been til' recently. Ghosts that haunted him, reminded him who he was doing this for. To keep the promise to himself that the treasured world where not a single child had to cry could be achieved, by the efforts of people like him.

Was it all....truly worth it? At the expense of Yor's tears? Would it be wrong...selfish... elusive of him to even dream he could have that? A normal life, with a loving family? Perfect wife, charming children....

It was all too tempting. That normalcy he'd come to treasure was too inviting, welcoming. From slow mornings, to Anya's gimmicks, to waking up by his lovely wives side....

To his child.

His own, biological child made from the love he held with their mother. The one who Yor had been nurturing and protecting in her womb all these months... without him. The child he'd neglected as far as they'd existed.

Would he be able to shed all he had known to exist simply as Loid Forger for the rest of his days? Could he bury the hatchet of agent Twilight's identity if it meant getting his life back?

God knew he wanted- needed to get back desperately.

He smiled to himself.

The answer was clear.

.....................

"This is very unlike you, Twilight" Handler added.

"I understand, we've been overloading you with tasks and micro-missions lately, but to completely disregard orders is...."

"Out of line, I understand."

"Is there a speci-"

"That is not of importance." Twilight interrupted.

What an elegant way of telling someone to mind their own business.

"Alright, Alright....I'll leave it." She squint her eyes, moving onto the next topic.

"I require you to track down a particular...woman. She's known as-"

"I would very much like to not partake in missions with targets of that....particular gender. "

She laughed soflty.

"This again?"

He remained quiet.

"Still hung up I see..."

"Don't-"

"You're not very smooth Twilight. To be honest I'm quite surprised. Operation Strixx culminated 5 months ago."

"She's-.....God, five months already?" He ran his hands through his hair.

"She?" Handler raised a brow.

The man shook his head.

"I understand it is heavily unfortunate for W.I.S.E for me to ask to be removed from such operations but I hope you'll understand." Twilight continued.

"I...do understand."

The silence between the two could only be described as tense. She had trained this spy herself, came to know every indication of his behaviour like the back of her hand.

Of course she could tell when he was lying to her.

"Twilight, is there something you're not telling me?"

"Do not worry yourself. It's just-"

'He's slipping.....'she thought.

Deep down she knew, The man that was standing in front of her had not been Twilight for the last two years at least. She was only hoping he'd noticed it, rather, accepted it, much sooner.

"She's-"

"You mean the little one, Anya ?" Twilight flaked.

".....Yor Briar" His eyes widened.

"Forger." The words escaped his mouth.

The Handler gave him a knowing smile, with saddened eyes.

"I must've shown my contempt while on the mission unintentionally." He smiled sheepishly.

" I've know from the moment you came back after terminating the operation. It showed all over your face. I was hoping that look would vanish as months passed by. After all, you're exceptionally gifted at hiding emotions, but you'll never fool me, know that."

"How long?"

"I'll just say. I haven't seen Twilight in two years at the very least."

His eyes widened.

"I entrusted you with the hope that you would carry out the operation exceptionally well, which, you did. I just never expected for you to get so wrapped up in your own fabrications."

"It recognize it has been quite unprofessional of my part, but I guess I couldn't help it. After all I am human"

"I do understand that, It was one of the principal risks of it all. But I must ask....why now?"

"I mean , did something happen recently?"

"She's.... I need to get back to them..."

"As soon as posible. Time...is something I can't afford to loose anymore. It's a crucial factor."

"Really? How so?

"Just know that-"

"Twilight.....you can be frank with me . Please be honest with me so we may help you accordingly."

"It is because....Because...."

Part of him knew it was so difficult for him to say the words aloud, because he had yet to believe them fully. It was a reality that scared him, one he had yet to come to terms with. But nonetheless it was a very real fact. An upcoming reality.

"I will become a father soon. A real one this time. A-and I know nothing about-"

His voice faded in to the background as it took her a few seconds to process his words.

'...Twilight....a father?'

It all made sense now.

"You?....Yor Br- Forger. She's....you got her pregnant?"

He simply sat idle in place.

"And you wish to rejoin her before your offspring is born, correct?"

"Ideally."

"I won't deny that this is rather unfortunate...but I do assume you'll wish to join them permanently. As being an active spy....with a family.....well, you wouldn't want to risk them."

"I understand."

"A little one is a hassle but...it does bring you incomparable joy......" She smiled.

His face was colored in surprise.

"It was only a matter of time, as you said, we're only human. I'll think how I can see to your request. But I must insist of you to partake in one last operation before your departure."

"Alright. Go on." Loid sighed.

"It does involve a female..."

He tensed.

"But unlike any other target you've had." She continued.

"How so?" This peaked his interest.

"Well...she is not a character we have much information on. She is a blacklist assassin from one of Ostania's secret security measures. A facility known as "The Garden". It's said that their assassins have been trained since they were children to be the best at their field. Our target in particular, as you might have expected, is their top member. The only reason we know of her is due to an informant of ours..but he was...offed, before any further investigation could be resumed." She handed him the file.

"No survivors? That Ostanian scum sure is something." The spy said as he flipped through the pages.

"I remind you, she's the best. She has a perfect record." She repeated, as if it were an an obvious question.

"Understood." He nodded.

"She's referred to as The princess of Thorns, or Thorn Princess. From the little to no information known about her , she is more resembling of a folklore tale rather than an actual person. Like a legend of sorts."

"Our interest has spiked, due to her inactivity the past 7 months, just around the time Donovan Desmond was arrested." She continued.

"And you believe these events are somehow linked?"

"Precisely. Since she is reserved for targets of upmost importance, we believe she will strike next in the Senators re-election party in a few months."

"Too many important figures in one place..."

"It is set to be a blood bath."

"It would explain The Gardens inactivity for the past months. We believe rather than sending out one particular individual, it will become an operational protocol. "

"Many assassins could be useful for us...but her...... the entirety of her victims has yet to be known, but she could very much represent a valuable bank of information for both Westalis and Ostania."

"That is why we require of you to capture her alive."

"Alive?"

"Ideally, within all you capabilities."

"I see."

"After this, you are free to be with your family, as you desire. It is the least we can do for your years of service, agent Twilight."

He was practically beaming at her as he took in her words.

"Thank you, handler."

"We'll discuss your monetary compensation after your years of service later."

"It is not...."

"Shush."

"But I-'

"If not for you....take it for that little one on the way." She smiled.

"Sylvia?" The man's eyes widened.

"I dread your departure but......"

In a gesture as strange to him as her sudden acceptance, she stood from her seat and
placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Congratulations to you and to her. For creating something so precious, Loid"

Chapter Text

"- A few years ago-

"Honestly, I don't even know why he would marry her."

"Probably out of pity!"

"My god, Millie!"

She agreed to it all.

To that type of off-putting comments...which were made very single day...

They were right.

Why on earth would a wonderful, smart, caring, loving, handsome ....perfect individual such as her fake husband ever look her way?

"Maybe he wanted a young fuck, that's all."

"Isn't she almost 30?"

"Well yeah, I mean- but he sure is older than her, not by much...."

"Yeah, she probably fucked him into a proposal." Camilla and Millie laughed along.

20 more minutes.

She told herself as thousands of ways to end the two bickering parlots in front of her rushed through her mind. But no, she wouldn't make a scene.

She would not give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She couldn't. She was already pathetic enough in their eyes, Yor wouldn't allow herself to be downgraded even more.

She should be.

And they didn't even know the awful mother, the horrendous excuse of a wife she was.

The heavens knew she felt guilty. Oh so very guilty to love her husband the way she did being the way she was.

......

It had started with his hands. Large, gentle hands that guided her through the heavy task of being the perfect mother and wife.

A man with a patience that struck her remarkably. How could he, a man so perfectly crafted could have ever chosen her to fulfill the role of his dear wife?

It was one of the biggest questions circling her mind at all times. Loid to her, seemed like the ideal husband, simply....admirable.

The more she got the to know him, the more her suspicions became confirmed. As she could clearly state that it was a widely accepted notion. That her 'husband' was an astonishing man. And how lucky she was to even have him look her way.

Surely, from the outside all superficial things seemed to be picture perfect. Dr. Loid Forger was a heavily entrusted psychiatrist, an exceptional father, a knowledgeable man, disciplined and educated. Not to mention of course his charisma and charming looks.

Yor could clearly see the appeal in his positive traits.

But that was only half of him.

No one had the pleasure of seeing him unravel himself in a domestic environment quite like she did. No one got see his little quirks and particular tastes. His expressions and other tiny things unique to him that she had come to pick up with the time she had spent with him.

Which was not much...but it was prevalent enough for someone with sharp senses like herself to notice.

Little things that made him so incredibly interesting to her. Like the way he seemed to be the only one that thought she was worthy of even breathing the same air as him. The special attentiveness when it came to her.

How very kind and gentle he would be, and how safe he would make her feel without her even asking. Suddenly, it didn't feel like such a crime to be herself anymore. For years she'd seen herself as what everyone around her (but her brother) had made her out to be. A social in-adept who was nothing more than alluring to the eyes and...peculiar in an unsettling way.

Something had to be certainly wrong with her (aside form the fact that she was a literal murderess). And that's what she had been certain of for the longest time.

Until him.

This man who had no connection to her, no obligated bond like her brother did, who had managed to make her feel like she belonged somewhere...that she was wanted somewhere for the first time.

Loid had taken those hands of his and guided her ever so gently in this crazed journey of their acquired family. Little by little , he'd begun to tear down small layers of herself and brought out aspects of her that she didn't even know could be developed.

She hoped to become so much more for him....so much more to him.

...........

It had finally happened.

After years upon waiting they had finally shed away all their fears and came together to voice a fact they'd long known.

That he yearned for her as much as she did for him.

Days had passed and she still couldn't bring herself to accept the fact that Loid was now her very real husband and not only on paper.

He was now hers. Willingly so.

Not because of a rouse...or a mutual convenience proposal. Now being together actually meant something. And it brought her immense joy like nothing ever had. She just couldn't wait to be submerged in his love forever. This dream of hers....that she had so intimately kept to herself was now tangible.

She just had to reach out her hand and softly trail her delicate fingers over the golden locks of said dream.

Yor watched him quietly as he slept soundly. She felt his chest push against her own as he breathed in deep slumber.

A smile slowly made its way to her lips as a warmth invaded her lower belly.

........

She'd been scared at first.

The world of intimacy and vulnerability was something she wasn't very fond of...at least that's what she had thought until she started to let Loid in.

He made her want more with every touch, every kiss and smile. Actions that took her breath away like nothing before.

Yor wanted to be his, in every way he wished to posses her, like he was doing to her now.
They'd been cuddling while watching a film after they'd both showered for the night. Originally that's what they would've been doing, if they hadn't gotten caught up in a heated make-out session. Soon enough their passion for each other came to light.

"There's no denying it. You are simply mesmerizing, Yor. Ever since I laid eyes on you ..... I've known all this time. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

He kissed further down her navel.

"I'm yours completely irrevocably....yours."

"W-Wait- L-Loid? Y-You're very sweet! B-But...I don't know anything about this....type of....activities. I'm not sure I could satisfy you. I'm sorry."

He looked up at her and smiled tenderly as his cheek came to rest on her stomach.

"Yor. You are perfection, trust me."

"I...I do ....I trust you." Yor nodded.

"Even....with your body?" He kissed the inside of her thighs.

"With my entire being, Loid" She gasped, her hands coming to pull on his hair, as bliss washed over every fear she'd had.

.......

The moment she found out she was pregnant Yor knew she had gotten herself in an entanglement. With so many variables, that she couldn't quite pin-point what the most viable outcome would be. Sharing love with her now real husband was one thing....having a baby with him....and then actually raising that child....

A long forgotten feeling crept in.

Fear.

Fear of what it would imply for her life as an assassin...Miss Anya, would she fancy the idea of having a baby sibling? Her brother. What would Yuri say?? Would he welcome her child? Or would he reject it like had with Loid?....Loid......

Would he even want a child with her?

They'd ....been together, for real, for a little more than a year barely. After years upon years of loving him and hiding her affections for him in expectation of rejection. Yor treasured the night they accepted they held feelings for one another deeply. The first of many where she would get to be wrapped around his love.

Her oh-so charming husband that had miraculously set his eye on her. How lucky of her...to love and be loved by the same man she adored with such passion.

Would she have the same reaction when it came to her baby?

Anya and Loid..... Would they....love it as much as she already did? Even though her tiny baby was merely a few weeks old, she already adored it, held such care and affection she might burst with happiness.

She wouldn't know what to do with herself if she was forced to give it up....would he want that?

Would she allow it?

Anxiety creeped in at even the slightest thought of getting rid of her baby, She curled herself into a small ball and reached for the nearest corner of the bathroom floor as she crumbled.

"God, I've ruined it all." She sobbed against the bathroom wall.

..........

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed her change in demeanor as of lately. Something was just strangely off about her in a way that only he could tell. Even before they'd been together, he'd become masterful at the art of Yor being... well.....Yor.

"Everything alright, love?"

"Huh?" She turned toward him

He knew the was her shoulders had a slight raise when she was tense and how she would unconsciously press her fists against her chest. Almost like a child caught in something fishy.

But it wasn't a sudden gesture or a momentary action. Yor had been in this defense mode for almost an entire week.

Was it posible that she had somehow detected that he would soon be leaving?
Was her body reacting precariously to the torment he would inevitably bring to her soon?

He came to wrap his arms around her as he kissed her temple softly.

"I know you almost as much as I do myself, Yor. What's wrong?"

"I-I....."

Loid patiently as ever waited for her answer, understanding her ways and small, normally nonsensical things that were serious to her.

"I've .....ruined it....all o-of it. God there are so many t-things that I- I....I'm sorry, Loid." She covered her eyes.

His body slowly rocked her form side to side as he leaned back on their sofa and brought her with him.

"Yor.....There is no harm you could do to ever ruin us... Not you."

Unbeknownst to him, his darling wife held as many secrets as he did. And one in particular weighed in her mind. Terrified her and left her restless. Such a tiny clump of cells held incredible sway over her.

"Yes. Yes there is. This time it's different, b-because I'm p-"

"No harm"

She bit her words a he nuzzled against her.

"Whatever you have in your mind, love. Do not let it drown you. Right now, I'm here with you."

Her heart beat against her chest at an abnormal rate. She slowly took deep breaths to calm her own nerves as she allowed herself to listen to him.

"Be with me Yor."

"I..am"

She lay against him as tranquility invaded her, his tenderness seeping through every pore of her body.

"No matter what....I want to be with you like this...forever, Loid"

Like the comment had fallen upon deaf ears it flew past him, as he waited for her to fall asleep on him. Guilt and shame double-crossed his mind as he thought about her words.

He couldn't bring himself to say anything at all.

Not to forever.

Not to a promise he knew he couldn't keep.

....

It had been decided.

Tonight, she would break the news to her husband.

That she was expecting their baby.

She'd been avoiding it for so long now, that she was sure Loid knew she was keeping something from him.

Besides...it was only a matter of time before he noticed the growth on her belly. Yor guessed the date in which they conceived had been on one particular night, some weekends ago.

Which would make her almost a month in.

A month.

One whole month.

Only eight to go.

The implications weighed in on her. In a little less than a year she would be giving birth to a little human being. The result of her and Loids love, all wrapped in a small bundle of sunshine. What would she name it? What would it look like? Would it be like everything she's ever dreamed of? She couldn't wait to see it all unwrap itself before her very eyes.
She couldn't wait to see his reaction. Yor was primarily fearful, of course, but a subtle sentiment of excitement dwelled deep inside her. Hoping that Loid would love their child as well.

But first she had to be brave enough to tell her husband about said child.

The rattling of keys interrupted her daydreaming as she vibrated in anticipation. Her palms became sweaty and the contents of her stomach somersaulted. Her breath became shortened as her loving husband finally made his way through the door.

"Honey, hello!"

His wife remained still as if she were glued to the floor, a gesture which did not escape his gaze.

"Honey?" He repeated.

"H...Hello" Her eye twitched as her palms subconsciously came to rest on her lower belly protectively.

'Baby....give me strength! Give me the courage to tell Daddy about you!'

"I've been dying to see you - Yor?" Loid became worried.

"I'm....how was work?"

She cursed herself for chickening out...but it would all be alright. She had to be a good wife and greet her husband first after all.

"Good I... Not really. But it doesn't matter." The man shook his head as he set down his portfolio and gestured her to come into his open arms.

"Loid...is everything-" His hands came to rest on her back as he nuzzled her.

"Now it's better..... because now.... I'm with you." He whispered against her ear.

"I...yes, that's for me....me too, dear." The red-faced woman smiled sheepishly.

"I assume she's asleep" he alluded to their daughter.

"No...she's in the bathroom getting ready for bed."

"This late?" Loid raised a brow.

"She insisted on finishing her study guide today!"

"Really...that's quite......stellar." He finished the last sentence with a tinge of pride attached to it. She really had grown out of her old ways.

Oh.....how he hoped time could simply stop.

He'd give up anything for more time by their side....

Well that wasn't quite true.

Not everything.

That, he knew quite well.

"Papa! You're home!!" Soft paddling followed the infants voice as she ran to join her parents in their embrace.

"I...Yes, I am." He caressed her pink hair gingerly.

"Anya has been waiting for you all this time! I finished my-" The Young girls excitement quieted down as her senses came to analyze her father's head.

'No'

'What was this?'

'After all this time?'

It couldn't be true.

'What about my baby sibling?!'

But he didn't know that....should she....

'.....Our...family...'

"Papa?" She began tearing up.

"Yes. I'll read you a bedtime story, go to your room. I'll be there shortly."

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She had been patient, she'd been obedient it....couldn't be. He wouldn't. But he had to.

Anya slowly turned her in acceptance. She would make sure to remember it well. Engrave it deep into her brain so she could keep him alive for as long as posible. She couldn't kid herself, she'd always known, and feared when this day would come.

This would be her last moments with her dad after all.

........... .......... ........... ........... ............ ............

It all happened too suddenly.

She awoke like many other mornings alone in his bed. Their bed. Stretching her arms as a yawn escaped her lips. The morning sun was blinding but she loved it nonetheless. Saturdays were usually her favourite days, she was off duty, Loid worked only part time
..and Anya was with them the entire day...

He had left a note in his place.

The day before she had been bursting to tell him the news ... but this....he'd been so loving the night before...was he...

Such attentiveness and desperation on his part....pouring his feelings out in detail as he rarely did....and now this note. Yor read it's content and immediately knew.

It was his way of saying good-bye.

She wrapped herself in their sheets and hurried towards the phone, panicking at the realization. Her fingers dialed with ease a number she was all too- familiar with.

She called the hospitals front desk, to see if everything was alright...if he had made any appearance at all. Only to be told her husband had presented his resignation letter two weeks prior.

Then it clicked.

"Wh- What did I do?"

One hand instinctively reached to cradle her belly, the other was held over her mouth in an attempt to drown her desperate agony.

Of course, Anya awoke to the erratic cries of her mother, immediately knowing what had occurred.

She knew.

Her mama felt the sudden emptiness that invaded their home like she did. But she wouldn't dare say anything. The night before....she couldn't bring herself to say a thing. She'd cried herself to sleep despite her previous knowledge of her father's departure.

But mama....nothing had prepared her for papa leaving them.

Unwillingly, her feet dragged her towards her parents room until she was close enough to turn the door knob. The scene that played before her (aside from her mother's incessant wailing) was...strange to say the least.

"Mama, why are you naked?"

"A-Anya! I'm s-sorry I'm...it's just." she shook her head as she rubbed her eyes in denial.

"Ma-"

" ....papa is-.....He's O-Oh god......."
She hadn't accounted for how hard it would be to break the news to her. After all, she'd known Loid for a little over 5 years but Anya.....she'd been with him all her life.

The girl came around and wrapped her arms around her mom.

"Baby I don't know how to tell you this, b-but..."

"I know."

Yor looked at her incredulously.

"He's gone."

Chapter Text

At first, Yor Briar-Forger hadn't thought much of the mysterious boxes that started showing up at her front door.

The first one of many came one eventful Sunday morning as she got ready to go grocery shopping. She had thought it was a mistake, but apparently she was meant to receive the package and the registered name for the sender belonged to a man she didn't know.

She stared wide-eyed at the large cardboard box as she sat in their living room couch, her hands rubbing her belly in tender, circular motions. She cocked her head to the side. A simple box such as this one should not excite her as much as it did. Even if deep inside she was dying to see the contents of it, she couldn't bring herself to ruin the magnificent scarlet coloured ribbon that was so graciously tied into a neat bow by undoing it.

Suddenly, a light kick brought her back to her senses.

"Hmm...you think we should open it?"

As if on cue, those little kicks excitedly attacked the inner walls of her stomach again, with more force this time.

"Alright, alright little sunshine! Let's see what's inside this mystery box!"

With agile hands, she brought said box closer to herself, she thanked her flexibility and natural above-average strength that gave her more mobility that she should have. For her acquired size, she was not that limited in movement.

Her dainty hands undid the bow as she silently apologized for tarnishing its beauty.

Yor lifted the flaps as her eyes widened in awe.

Her eyes could scan the contents of the box, filled to the brim, there was nothing more than various toys, clothes and other things for her, Anya and the baby.

But on top of it all, a single item caught her attention. A beautiful rose untouched by time stood out strikingly. She held it up to her eye level and took a wiff.

Memories flooded her mind, of many times her husband would greet her with grandious bouquets, rose petals floating around in their shared baths, and his melodious voice calling to her by one of many affectionate nicknames....she loved it because of the irony, it was almost as if he knew of her alter.

".......my rose...."

The woman let out a heavy sigh she hadn't realized she'd been holding in as her eyes began to burn. She quickly stopped herself. She wouldn't dare tarnish this for herself. She'd spent most of the pregnancy so far crying, curled up in bed after long days of work. For the sake of her baby, she had decided she would try, husband or not, to be there for the tiny creature. She didn't want all that sadness to seep into her child, she wouldn't be that selfish, after all, her pregnancy had become her biggest source of joy since Loid's departure.

The little being made her dream and beam in wonder at the marvel of the life that awaited her. It was as if a sudden volt of energy invaded her. It was the very least she could do, show joy for the time to come.

Yor shook her head, as her mind descended from the skies. No, of course this package could not be from Loid...her love...no longer cared for her. He wasn't aware that she awaited their child. So this box....

It couldn't have come from him. Of course... she knew that. She knew what it meant since nobody but a certain someone would ever bother with such gesture.

"How does it feel to have an uncle that loves you so much already, my little love?"

She laughed as her belly thrummed in response.

......................................................

"Antonine Livbrene?" The blonde man raised a brow.

"He's your new cover identity for the next two months."

"I know that it's just.....such a pompous name." He chuckled.

" Save it. You're set to be assigned a position in senator Brimham's security ensemble. This will allow for us to have better coverage and range of our monitoring activities without raising suspicion. So far, we've confirmed the presence of five other garden assassin's....however...our golden ticket has yet to be mentioned in these conversations."

"Is this all for 'her' exclusively? Are you trying to single her out?"

"Not exactly...call this operation an...accessory activity to our finally goal. We must make an interference, Princess present or not." The redheaded woman adjusted her glasses.

"We wouldn't like to risk scaring her away...she's hard to track as it is."

"Precisely. It's just as we expected....and if we follow our fearful instinct....she might just be in on something even bigger than this event."

"....I will fulfill my duties."

"As I expect you to."

Twilight quickly took his leave as he carefully made his way to his temporary home. A lonesome loft with a gray atmosphere. It had nothing to do with the color of the walls or vague decorations, but of the lifelessness that exuded from the walls and threatened to creep onto him.

Gestures like this one made him realize just how radically becoming a family man had changed him. Before, he wouldn't have minded the gloomy ambience at all. It would've been a welcoming sight for him, seeing as it all lacked much of a personality like he himself. There was nothing he ever wanted out of the ordinary...nothing special to him in a particular sense. He surely liked a certain type of music or a specific brand of clothing. Twilight briefly kept note of his taste in food and his favourite restaurants, same which he wouldn't visit twice in a year in fear of being detected as a recurring guest. The man was a shadow, a blank slate ready to be molded into any persona at all times. Easy to work with.....easy to lose.

Simpleness, efficiency....words applicable to his reality as a spy, characteristics essential to his craft. He'd been so detached from his essence as a human that it was barely even there by the time he made sense of it.

Just when he started to feel his humanity being reconstructed by what was often described as the true power that holds the world together. An energy so specially sweet, one that he hadn't noticed he'd been deprived of for his entire life.

But what had been the cure to his silent hurt was now again far from him. He ached solemnly, intensely for lengths at a time.

Perhaps the slight and feeble communication of his love through the objects carefully selected for his family's enjoyment would make them see that he was still around in a precarious and pathetic way.

Two months, five days, seven hours, thirty five minutes and twenty...counting nineteen, seconds until he could return to his family.

Eighteen.

Seventeen.

Sixteen.

...................................................

He fumed as he set the phone down.

After a long day, receiving a call from his gracious sister was a bliss, naturally. It had been wonderful to hear about her and his future nephew and niece, of the trials and tribulations of her pregnancy. What he had not expected however, was to hear from the alarming gift he had apparently sent her. He knew from the moment she described that unsettling rose being present a top of it all.

The sender had to have been the excuse of a husband she had.

Yuri remembered that at first, he'd felt unmeasurable joy when loi-loi had left. Yor hadn't exactly detailed what the circumstances were, but frankly, he did not care. He was just glad the idiot doctor was now gone from their lives. (Part of his was slightly joyous that he hadn't taken the chihua-.... his niece with him.) Partially, the anger and resentment he already held for him arose after seeing how clearly it affected his sister. It all turned into a dumpster fire when she told him she was expecting that bastards offspring.

He hadn't been shaken since the revelation that she was married, then, he collapsed entirely. His whole world shook at the implications, the reality that now a man...a stranger held such an intimate relationship with his adoring sister. That stranger who claimed to love her....who had promised he would until his dying day ....

Had dared to hurt her in one of the most cruel ways he'd seen. Seeing as his sister was now completely alone, and very much vulnerable at the moment, of course he had to resort to protecting her in all ways he could. Even if his methods were......unconventional.

What harm could he cause? The microphone system he had installed wasn't complex at all...and it wasn't like he overheard every single thing that happened in her home. He just recalled the more...gruesome parts.

Like his sisters nightly wails of agony, the tearful sound imprinted in his mind.

Night after night.

After that, he wouldn't allow him to ever get close to his family again.Yuri swore on his last name and his love for his sister, he would track down that despicable man.

And make him regret ever daring to look Yor's way.

............