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Laudna could still feel the crackle of Imogen's magic coursing through the rubble of Imahara's workshop. The battle had been hard and raw, the betrayal still lingering like a bleeding wound in all of them. She looked around her, her friends tending to their wounds as best they could, Fearne's mother cradled her daughter in her arms while she apologized in a string of words that sounded like a plea and distilled the regret she felt, the horror she felt. Her surroundings perfectly framed the mistakes made, the trust that would never come back. In the middle, the body of Dusk, or whoever it was, rested in a shapeless pile, bloody and bruised. It had taken every last bit of their efforts to defeat them and stop them from taking Berdie and Fearne. The motives were still unclear, there was much to talk about, mysteries to solve, pasts to reveal. But Laudna was still there, looking at what Dusk had once been, her heart breaking once more. She couldn't believe that she could hurt so much after all, the worst that could happen to her had already happened, right? What right did this charming stranger have to come and play with what she thought was dead and buried?
Laudna looked at her hands, skinny fingers whose tips were still covered in black goo, and she clenched her fists. Of course Dusk had lied to her, like everyone else.
"Laud, are you alright?" Imogen's soft voice snapped her out of her thoughts and as always, Laudna managed to welcome her with a smile.
FCG had begun to roll among all the party members, healing and bringing some calm to physical and mental wounds, Laudna watched them come and go, wondering if the little aeormaton could heal the pain she was feeling.
Imogen's hands closed around hers upon receiving no answer, her concern flashing on her face as she sought the brunette's gaze.
"Speak to me Laud, please"
"I'm fine" she replied simply "Being about to die twice in less than a day doesn't sit well with my stomach, apparently"
Imogen frowned, she didn't need to detect her thoughts to know there was something wrong.
Laudna's gaze returned for a few moments to what Dusk had been, a thousandth of a second, but it was enough for Imogen to notice.
"Oh, Laudna, I know you had grown fond of Dusk..." her voice trailed off, as if a word had gotten stuck in her throat.
"I should have known earlier" Laudna said, seeing as Imogen didn't continue the sentence. "I should have seen through the lies... I'm sorry"
"What are you talking about?"
Laudna sighed deeply, as if all that air she breathed in would help her express what she felt.
"The whole thing about asking me out on a date, about them finding me attractive... Of course it was a lie."
"No, Laudna, don't say..."
"You don't need to deny it" a sad smile appeared on her pale face "it was always something I couldn't understand, that interest in me was... too unreal"
"Laudna, Dusk wove a web of lies for ulterior motives, but that doesn't mean..."
"You heard them"
Imogen nodded ruefully, the changeling having breathed out words full of poison and vitriol just before trying to escape.
“You are a bunch of beautiful fools, you trust too much and you all will pay with your lives. Perhaps not now but luck will catch up with you eventually... And you” , they’d said looking at Laudna, who lay on her knees as she held her bleeding side, “ there really is no one who could find attractive that sack of bones you call a body”.
After that, everything had turned into an endless rain of purple lightning that lifted Dusk's body, shaking them in the air as electricity reaped through flesh until they were left on the ground again, lifeless.
But the damage had been done, at least as far as Laudna was concerned.
"Laud, there are a lot of you to find attractive, what Dusk said is just..."
Laudna's hand reached the other woman's cheek where a tear fell freely.
"Imogen Temult, you are the best friend a dead girl could wish for. And I will cherish every moment we have lived in the depths of my heart, until this body finally gives me rest."
Laudna sat up and, taking her healing kit, walked over to Ashton to help them bandage a deep gash on their forearm.
Imogen shut her eyes hard in an attempt to keep more tears from spilling out. She felt a deep hatred and disdain for what Dusk had done, for Fearne's innocence that was forever lost, for the wounds in her friends that would take time to heal, but more strongly for the deep cut they had made in the kindest soul she had ever met. Laudna didn't deserve this, to be used in this way only to be discarded like an old rag. Laudna deserved the world and so much more.
That night, they all decide to sleep in the same room. The space may be tight and a little uncomfortable, but it will take time for the paranoia to leave the group. Chetney and FCG are the first guard shift and the rest settles where they can, Berdie among them, all seeking the consolation of having the other by their side and most of all, alive. Imogen does the only thing she can and takes a silent Laudna into her arms. The woman hasn't said much during the day, she was even quieter at dinner, her downcast gaze and stooped posture worries everyone but only Imogen knows how to approach her. Still, she respects her space, her time, she doesn't talk in her head and doesn't invade her thoughts, she just hugs her tight against her chest and prays she can reach what seems more and more distant.
Nobody sleeps that night. Imogen feels that Laudna is moving away from her even more and more, she withdraws as if she were letting go of her hands and letting herself be carried away by a rushing river never to return.
The next morning they all gather for breakfast but Laudna does not accompany them, she stays in the room surrounded by darkness. The events of the previous day still shake the group. Fearne is still crying in her mother’s arms who tries to comfort her, assuring her that she is not angry and that everything will be fine. Imogen finds it hard to believe that, seeing half of her heart slipping through her fingers like desert sand, not when darkness threatens to take away what she loves most.
She feels a hand on her arm, Orym next to her looks at her with eyes full of wisdom.
"You have to be with her" he tells her with a voice plagued by the past, memories that still haunt him.
Imogen doesn't hesitate, and she leaves the table for the room. Nobody questions her, they know where she is going, they know what she wants to do.
The room is darker than Imogen remembered, as a metaphor for what was happening; the darkness hovering over Laudna's motionless body, it seemed to ensnare her with possessive and merciless tentacles.
"Honey, you have to have something for breakfast" she told her in a whisper as her hand caressed her shoulder. Laudna was not sleeping, her eyes were fixed on the wall, her slow breathing stopped for a moment as she felt the warmth of Imogen's skin on hers.
"Do you think it would be better... if I just walked away?" she said after a while, still not looking at Imogen.
The words pierced Imogen's heart like a sharp dagger.
"You can't leave me alone, Laud, you promised" the tears slipped between the words until they sounded broken and flat.
Laudna finally met the lilac gaze.
"You have a lot of new friends who will help you understand and find your past, the reasons for your powers... I’d just put you in danger and make a fool of myself... Maybe it's best for all of us if we take different paths"
"Don't you dare…" A sob broke the silence of the dark room like a thunder on a silent night. "Don't you dare walk away from me, Laudna!"
Tears were now flowing freely down Imogen's cheeks as she grasped Laudna's shoulders in a desperate attempt to talk some sense into her.
"You promised me that you would be with me... I don't care if the others are here too, I have no reason to continue if you’re not by my side"
"But..."
"Please, understand" the whisper between tears sounded like a torn prayer. "Understand that if you're not with me... Damn it, Laudna, if you're not with me, how can I tell you that I love you?"