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Never had a Friend like me

Summary:

Nandor tries to fix the Curse The Djinn put on him.

He finds out that it wasn't all the Djinn's doing.

Notes:

This work has not been beta'd and I have dyslexia so fair warning for any spelling errors or any weird structures in the text!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

After the successful opening, Nandor's spirits were slightly lifted. Lazlo and Guillermo praised Colin for his performance as they walked home.
The fun wouldn't last long as Marwa turned her attention to Nandor when they had return.
"It has been a long night," She said as she held his hand and softly spoke to him." I think I will retire to bed, and we can talk tomorrow, my love."

Her kind eyes somehow made the exchange worse. But Nandor tried to keep a straight face until she left the room. He then marched down to the treasure chamber where the Djinn was staying.

"So how is the new equipment?" The Djinn's eyes gleamed.

"Yes, Very funny and clever, Djinn, making it so I'll always think of Guillermo while touching my pee pee."

Djinn chuckled. "Well, there's not a lot of pleasure in this job besides trickery, so I take what I can get." He sat down by the table. "I will say though that you and Guillermo got very close to besting me, maybe the closest anyone has gotten, at least when it comes to penis enlargement wishes."

This information didn't make Nandor feel any better.

"If you ever come across any Sphinx' asking riddles," The Djinn continued "Make sure that you have Guillermo with you, the man is clever"

"Yes, I'll keep that in mind and talk to Guillermo before making any wishes, since you are a trickster Djinn and not a friendly, blue Djinn like the movie Guillermo showed me."

A few nights ago, Guillermo got tired from babysitting baby Colin so he did what any tired caregiver would do and resorted to watching a movie. Guillermo had invited Nandor to watch the original Aladdin movie with them and while Nandor had plans to spend his first night of engagement with Marwa, he found himself drawn to watching with Guillermo and Colin. He ended up enjoying it despite the movie's insistence with pronouncing Djinn as "Genie".

"Yes, that's where a lot of people get it wrong," The Djinn replied. "There's always a work around we Djinn tend to find to make wishes come true. We can bring people back to life, no problem, nothing says we need the original body. And while we can't force others into falling in love, we can manipulate people's minds with thoughts that are already there."

Nandor peered at the Djinn in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, when it comes to people's minds, it's much easier to encourage a feeling that's already there. Making you think about Guillermo was easy to do since you already fantasized about him."

Nandor froze and his eyes widened in disbelief. "What did you just say?" He asked.

"You are attracted to Guillermo, is that not correct?" The Djinn looked puzzled

"How the fuck do you know such a thing, which is absolutely false and not true at all." Nandor yelled and looked at the ground.

The Djinn got an attentive look on his face and pondered to himself before responding.
"I see that there is some miscommunication, so I shall explain. While the Disney film did not get many things correct –despite the late Robin Williams' great performance–, it is true that we possess "phenomenal cosmic power"! Djinn gestured with his hands while Nandor scrunched up his face.

The Djinn looked away and shook his head. "What I mean to say is that changing stuff like unaliving somebody or even just changing hair color instantaneously takes a lot of work. We're basically bending reality to our will. So when I did my little sneaky Djinn trick on you, I had to check your mind to make sure you would always think of Guillermo when you–"

"Yes, yes, I fucking get it! Fucking guy…," Nandor began aimlessly move around the room. "So you read people's minds like a little pervert. What does it matter what you saw? You're the one making me think of Guillermo."

"Erhh, not really," the Djinn said." Cause a lot like your penis, I did not have to change much. You think a lot about Guillermo, even when you are not indulging yourself, about 80 percent of the time give or take."

"I do no such thing! This is all your doing."

"Maybe you didn't consciously think specifically about Guillermo before this, but you do have a lot of fantasies involving people with tan skin, brown curly hair, small stature…"

"That describes many people!" Nandor protested.

"Thick bodies and big behinds"

"Enough of this!" Nandor threw his arm up in the air. "You're supposed to be a Djinn, not my fucking therapist."

This was worse when Lazlo tried to get Nandor to re-experience his own birth by breathing heavily. What did it matter if Nandor had a certain type? That didn't mean he was automatically attracted to Guillermo.

The Djinn stood up and walked over to Nandor.
"Forgive me, When I sometimes peek into people's minds, I get fascinated with what's up there."

"There is nothing up there that you didn't already put." Nandor sat down. He didn't want to have this conversation any longer. He didn't do anything wrong to deserve this!

"Nandor, I know this is difficult to hear, but I have no reason to lie to you – well," He paused and looked up and tilted his head. "At least, not about this…" He put his hand on Nandor's shoulder. "Since you didn't wish for this, I'll say this for free, as your… acquaintance. I do believe you have affection for Guillermo, but since he was your familiar, you're having a hard time accepting these feelings. Your bias tells you that he is not your equal, but you still want him around and that makes you feel… vulnerable. "

Nandor winced. "Jeez, you make me sound so pathetic. "

"It's not necessarily a bad thing, you just have… –how do you say?– Toxic masculinity?"

"My manliness isn't toxic!" Nandor paused and lowered his voice, getting closer to the Djinn's face. "Can you even do that? You didn't poison my manhood, did you?"

The Djinn blinked at him for a second and removed his hand. "My point is that you don't like being vulnerable and Guillermo is the cause of it. But just because you're uncomfortable, doesn't mean it's bad. If you two would just talk, I'm sure it would help your relationship."

Nandor's head blanked. So much of the information was unbelievable and yet he couldn't process any of it. The only only thing that came up was one question.

"What about Marwa?" Nandor asked.

Djinn thought for a moment.

"Well, if you no longer wish to marry her, I can just make her dead-"

"No!" Nandor shouted. "You will do no such thing! I am Nandor the Relentless, which means I do not give up, and I will not give up Marwa."

Nandor huffed as the Djinn took a step back.

"I have two new wishes to make," Nandor stated. " First, I wish you rectify my previous wish and get rid of the part where I said I would always think of Guillermo when touching myself"

"Alright, but again, you already think about-"

"Second!" Nandor interrupted. "I wish that you make me forget that we had this conversation. The only condition is that you're allowed to talk about my rectified wish and that I wished for this conversation to be forgotten, but you may not tell me what the conversation was about. " Nandor stepped close to the Djinn and glared. "Do I make myself clear?"

"I understand. And you are sure?"

"I cannot give up on Marwa. She is to be my wife. So yes, I am sure."
"Alright" The Djinn snapped his fingers and Nandor flinched for a second.

"What just happened? What am I doing here?"

The Djinn propped up his glasses and signed as he looked over his notes. "You just wished for me to rectify my previous wish where I gave you a big penis, but made you think of Guillermo etc, etc. And you also wish for forget our last conversation." He held up his hand as Nandor was about to open his mouth. "and you specifically asked that I couldn't tell you what we were talking about and I do not want to get into a memory loss wish loop. That was only fun the first 50 times it happened."

"Okay…Well, thank you, I guess?"

The Djinn sighed once more. "You're welcome, master."

Notes:

hi! So this is the first official Fic I've ever posted online! After being in Fandoms since I was a pre teen and writing fics I've never published, this is indeed a sorta big deal. I think WWDITS style of dialogue is also much easier for me to write with it's anecdotes and it's more jokey nature makes it easier to write

Notes:

  • I forgot that written works don't suddenly just show what the others characters thinking, so sadly, we don't get any perspective from what I wrote about The Djinn.
  • The part about re-experiencing your own birth is a real thing. It's called Rebirthing and is a type of breathwork, which apparently my Aunt did in the 80s cause that's how I found out about it. I don't think Lazlo would be huge into New Age stuff, but he probably experimented with some of it back in the day, mainly on Nandor.
  • Nandor being soft with Marwa was really nice to write. I hope she has a happy ending in the show
  • Don't worry, Nandor eventually accepts his feelings for Guillermo, that's why I put it in Bittersweet ending