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Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
Marinette lay with her ear pressed to Kagami’s chest, their legs tangled together a the other end of their bed while Kagami fiddled with Marinette’s hair. Maybe twenty minutes ago, Kagami had made some comment about wanting to go start dinner, but Marinette had just squeezed her in a vice grip until she sighed and lay her head back against the pillow.
Marinette couldn’t tear herself away from Kagami’s heartbeat.
Not after the Akuma a couple hours prior that made it stop. And no, it wasn’t the first time she’d seen Kagami fall temporary victim to an Akuma—hell, it wasn’t even the most violent way she’d seen it happen—but for whatever reason…this one had hit too close to home.
Maybe because Marinette had been working on her wedding dress when the Akuma hit. Maybe because of the fearful look she’d seen in Ryuuko’s eyes when she shoved Ladybug out of the Akuma’s path. Maybe because that morning, during breakfast, they’d bickered good-naturedly about which extracurriculars their future kid might partake in.
Regardless of the reason, Marinette had lost track of how long she’d spent curled up in Kagami’s embrace. Certainly long enough that the sound had stopped making sense, like a word repeated so many times it no longer held meaning. But not long enough that she was ready to let go.
Unfortunately, the choice didn’t seem to be up to her.
“Marinette?” This time when Kagami spoke, Marinette managed to avoid squeezing her fiancee half to death, if only barely.
“Yeah?”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
Marinette shook her head. The movement dragged her ear away from the steady beat tethering her to sanity, and a jolt of panic seized her until she managed to settle her head down again. She inhaled slowly, but it didn’t do much to calm her.
“Fine,” she said. “Take me with you, then.”
Kagami laughed. “As excited as I am to share my life with you, there are some things I’d prefer to keep private.”
“Rude,” Marinette mumbled. “It’s like you don’t even trust me.”
“It’s really not like that at all. And you’re lying on my bladder. I can’t have this conversation now.” Kagami’s hands slid up and down Marinette’s arms, then squeezed gently.
Marinette took another deep breath, tried to settle her anxieties, and forced herself to roll over so Kagami could slip away. Now that she could only hear her own heartbeat, she was aware of it racing as Kagmai sat up. But it calmed a little when Kagami bent down for a quick kiss.
Kagami pulled away, giving Marinette’s hand a quick squeeze. “I’ll be right back, alright?”
“Okay.”
After she left, Marinette lay back against the mattress, trying to talk herself out of panicking again. It only lasted a handful of seconds before she got up and started pacing. She knew Kagami was fine. She could hear the expected sounds coming from the washroom and everything. Her damn brain just refused to internalize that.
It didn’t take long for Kagami to come back, and by that point it was all Marinette could do not to immediately jump back into her arms. She settled for taking Kagami’s outstretched hand and being led back to sit on the edge of the mattress.
Kagami reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind Marinette’s ear, then settled her hand on Marinette’s cheek.
“Marinette, what’s going on? I know the Akuma earlier was rather intense, but you don’t normally…Me getting hit” —Marinette flinched— “doesn’t normally affect you this much. I suppose I’m just wondering…what’s different about this time?”
“I don’t know. There isn’t anything different. And I know it’s stupid, but—”
“I did not say it was stupid.” Kagami’s thumb brushed tenderly along Marinette’s cheekbone. “I’m just trying to understand.”
Marinette stared at the mattress. “I guess I just…got used to being happy?”
Kagami took a few moments to answer. “I don’t understand.”
Neither did Marinette, but she closed her eyes and forced herself to weave her tangled thoughts into words.
“It’s like, I dunno, the Akumas don’t show up all that often anymore. And then there’s us. We’re planning a future, and I feel like everything’s falling into place. But suddenly it wasn’t.” Her voice shook as she continued. “Suddenly you were just gone, and I couldn’t help but remember how quickly everything could go wrong. How nothing’s guaranteed, not even you, and I just cant…I can’t lose you, I—”
She broke off as Kagami pulled her into a tight hug, dragging in a slow breath as a hand moved firmly up and down her back. She couldn’t hear Kagami’s heartbeat anymore, but steady breaths warmed her cheek and whispered in her ear.
“I’m not worried about that,” Kagami said. “Not for a second.”
“Right,” Marinette bit out. “Because I’m supposed to just magically fix everything?”
“Well, yes. Partially. But also because you’re you. There’s nobody I trust more to bring me back safely, and…if something does ever happen, then—”
“No.” Marinette pulled away, shaking slightly. “Don’t even say that. Don’t…just don’t.”
Kagami cupped her face between both hands, her eyes boring into Marinette’s as she continued. “If,something should happen, then I know you’ll be okay. You’re strong. You’re resilient. You have so many people who love you.” She hesitated, her lips parted but seemingly stuck on her next words. “It’s me who would be lost without you. And that…I used to believe it was weakness to care so much until you taught me differently.”
Kagami inhaled sharply and pressed her forehead to Marinette’s. Her hands slid down from Marinette’s cheeks to her shoulders, to her arms, to her trembling fingers. Marinette tried her best not to cry, timing her breaths to Kagami’s and pretending the heart she heard pounding in her ears wasn’t just her own.
“Nothing bad is going to happen,” Marinette said in a small voice. “Right?”
Kagami squeezed her hands. “Not if either of us have anything to say about it.”
Marinette exhaled and pulled Kagami in for another hug.
“What can I do?” Kagami asked some time later, combing her fingers through Marinette’s hair.
“Just don’t let go yet.”