Chapter Text
Chapter One
The invite to Langton felt like it had come at exactly the right time. And it felt like the perfect place for it to happen. The perfect middle ground. Not at Shibden nor at Lawton Hall where there would be little to no escape if it didn't work out.
Because if Ann was finally going to meet Mariana, then at Langton with the Nortcliffes felt like the best place for it to happen. For Anne.
That didn't mean that it didn't worry her. If anything, the guilt of what happened when she was last at Lawton Hall filled her once more. She knew that Mariana hadn't made any reference to it in any of her letters but Anne didn't know whether things would be different in person. She didn't think that it helped that Mariana had given her such mixed messages since she had told her about Ann moving into Shibden. Was she actually happy for Anne or not? Would Mariana be able to hold in the obvious jealousy that she had for Ann? Would that only be in front of Anne, maybe to prove that they could be the kind friends that she wanted them to be, for a different situation to unfold if Ann and Mariana ever found themselves alone? Would Mariana tell Ann what had happened, maybe in hopes to become Anne’s one and only again?
And Ann had noticed Anne’s nerves as they got changed before heading to Langton. She thought that might have increased Ann's own nerves but Ann seemed rather calm and had tried to reassure her in the carriage on the way over. After all, she had already met Tib and Charlotte and she had said that she would welcome Mrs Lawton at Shibden if she was ever to visit. Without making Ann suspicious again, Anne had no idea how she could voice her concerns.
Anne knew that she was a mess of thoughts by the time Mariana arrived at Langton. She knew that she wouldn't have brought Charles with her. This wasn't that type of event and Anne suspected that Mariana would want as little to do with Charles as possible after their last conversation about him (with her desperately trying to forget what followed).
And she allowed Mariana to naturally come to where they were, with their conversation with Charlotte wrapping itself up. With Charlotte knowing what she did about the history between them, Anne couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be there as the woman that she always thought would be her wife was introduced to her wife.
“Mariana,” Anne said to acknowledge her as she approached but also to set the tone. Mary had wanted to fall from her lips but the affectionate shortening of her name had only really come about because of their relationship. But trying not to call someone a name that had been used for nearly two decades was not easy. At least Anne felt confident enough that she could say that she started out with the best intentions.
But the trip to Lawton Hall had started that way as well.
And look how that ended.
“Anne. It has been a while.” Mariana said.
“Hmm,” Anne said, knowing the reason why that was the case. Knowing that there was no point in putting it off any longer, she placed a hand on Ann's back to push her more into view. “Ann, this is Mariana Lawton. Mariana, this is Ann Walker.”
Anne bit her tongue, so as not to allow the two words that she wanted to say after Ann's name to fall from her lips. Mariana already knew that and she would not help Ann’s case to remind her of that.
And Anne knew that she had no worries when it came to Ann and what she might say. Being the sweet creature that she was, Anne could not imagine a bad word ever falling from her lips in front of the person in question. However, Anne was curious about what Mariana was thinking as she took an in.
“It is nice to finally meet you, Mrs Lawton,” Ann said, a bright smile breaking out on her face.
“Likewise,” Mariana said, with Anne unable to tell from her tone whether she meant it or not.
Anne felt the nerves building both next to and inside her. For someone who usually had all the right things to say, she was drawing a blank. This meeting was important to her. It was to show that they could get on and be friends like she wanted. But there was a very delicate line where the wrong thing could cause offence from Ann, Mariana, or both of them.
“I-I-I trust that you are feeling better now,” Ann said before Anne could come up with something to say. “Anne mentioned that you hadn't been well.”
“Much better,” Mariana said. “Thank you.” She quickly added before a long pause. “As I trust you are as well.”
Ann’s smile only seemed to widen. “I've never been better. Doctor Belcome has been... excellent. I only wish that I had been introduced to him sooner.” She paused for a moment, turning to Anne slightly. “And Anne. Of course. I-I think I've realised that... the tribe never really understood what I needed. That I was never going to get better.”
“Sorry? Tribe?”
“Of relations. A lot of strategic marriages over the years has led to a larger than necessary family.”
“I wouldn't say that,” Anne said, finally finding her voice. “Some are just prone to meddling when they don't need to.”
“Exactly,” Ann said. “Your family doesn't meddle with what you do.”
“Because they know I won't listen and do it anyway.”
Ann shook her head before she turned back to Mariana “I do understand. If you were feeling low, I would certainly want Anne to visit for a couple of days. Or longer if she could. She is the perfect tonic when one is feeling low.”
“Yes, she certainly is,” Mariana said as she turned to Anne a little more, giving her a look that only made Anne turn her gaze towards Ann more.
“You both flatter me,” Anne said.
“I'd umm... better say hello to the others,” Mariana said before she held out her hand to Ann. “Miss Walker.”
“Mrs Lawton.” Ann said as she took Mariana’s hand and gave it a shake.
“Anne.”
“Mariana,” Anne said.
Anne let out a slow long breath as she watched Mariana walk off. As much as she knew where her heart lay now, it was hard for her to shut off the years of longing and empty promises. Because no matter how much Mariana had hurt her, Anne knew that she would always have a piece of her heart. She looked over at Ann and she knew that look on her face was one that meant that she was fretting over that introduction. Whether that was because she knew how important it was to Anne or if it was due to her concerns about what happened at Lawton Hall, Anne was not sure.
But if Anne was being honest with herself, then she would have to admit that she was fretting over it as well.
She needed to talk to Mariana. Alone.
And preferably before she got Ann on her own.
“Mary?” Anne said as she finally caught Mariana in a corner by herself.
“Well, that's better, isn't it Freddy?” Mariana said.
“Don't be like that.”
“Like what?”
Anne knew that Mariana knew what she meant. Mariana was too clever to pretend to be stupid. They both knew that. And Anne knew that was the reason why she needed to keep her wits about her. She had left Lawton Hall a fool. It wasn't going to happen again.
“Well,” Anne said, knowing that Mariana knew what she was hinting at.
“Well, what?”
“What do you think of her?”
“Who?"
Anne took a deep breath. This was the type of thing that Mariana would do. Trying to vex her so she could, ultimately, get what she wanted.
“Adney. Ann. Miss Walker.” Anne said to make sure she was perfectly clear. “What do you think of her?”
It was clearly the conversation that Mariana was attempting to avoid. Anne wasn't going to let her. Even if she knew that she wasn't going to be an impartial judge. Maybe she hoped that Mariana could form a better opinion rather than one out of jealousy.
“I hardly know her,” Mariana said nonchalantly.
“First impressions then.”
“I know what you want me to say.”
“I don't want what you think I want you to say.”
“Does she always stutter like that?”
“Only when she's nervous.”
“Why would she be nervous?”
“Because she knows... that this is important to me. For us three, getting along and being friends is important to me.”
“Does she know? Did you tell her in the end?” Mariana said. “I thought you might have done. With the amount you were beating yourself up.”
Anne swallowed. “No. But she suspects.” She paused. “Please, Mary. Don't. It would kill her.”
“Would it now?”
“And I don't care whether you think I'm in love with her or not. But I am not putting her through... any more misery. Not if I can help it.”
“What does she suspect then?”
“She hasn't said exactly.”
“Then why does she suspect?”
Anne took a deep breath. “Because I said about not leaving her again. And I'm not. If I can help it.”
“And that made her suspicious.”
“You can't talk. You've been suspicious in the past.”
“I don't think that is a discussion you want to have.”
“No. It isn't.”
With regards to their overly complicated relationship, Anne never wanted to be at odds with Mariana. She never wanted to have all of the arguments that they'd had in the past. All Anne ever wanted was to love Mariana and for her to always be hers. She knew that she would choose Mariana over any other relationship that she'd had. It hurt that she never felt like Mariana would do the same.
And Anne wished that she could have accepted Mariana when she did decide to leave Charles. She didn't particularly care for the reason, whether she'd just had enough of him or if she had finally chosen Anne. She just cared that she couldn't let her stay at Shibden, she couldn't allow the separation. After all the heartbreak Mariana had put her through, Anne was sure that was the moment she broke Mariana’s heart. And it probably is the reason why their relationship had soured as it had done.
“I do understand that it isn't easy, Mary. But please. Be more amicable.
“Amicable?”
“Yes.”
“So, I am not allowed to be jealous.”
“Well...”
“Because you took my marriage to Charles so well and you have always been so amicable with him. Not once jealous of him.”
“Mary...”
Mariana huffed. “Maybe I should have married just you, Fred.” She said through gritted teeth. “Because sometimes you are no better than a man.”
Anne felt her jaw instantly tense at the comment, leaving her fuming as Mariana left her, with her shoulder brushing past Anne’s. Whether it was to bump shoulders with her, and she thought better of it all because she thought that Anne would catch her arm, stopping her from leaving, it didn't matter.
Anne was sure that she hadn't made things better.
In fact, she felt like she had made Mariana more determined to tell Ann.
Mariana knew that it wouldn't be easy. She had already told Anne that. But it had been a lot harder than she thought.
She knew that she was now feeling everything that Anne felt following her marriage to Charles. Her heart broke to see them together, when Anne called her Mariana instead Mary, to be introduced to the woman who had taken her place.
Ann Walker.
The insipid little heiress.
Who had stolen Anne from her.
Without Anne being in love with her.
And might have conceded Anne if she had been. But it did feel like it was all for nothing.
Anne’s other attempts in the past hadn't worried her so much. Mariana knew that it would all end in tears and Anne would run back to her. In the end, Anne always knew who her heart belonged to.
In more recent months, Mariana had attempted to conjure up the argument or conversation that she had with and that had caused this all to happen. She still couldn't understand how what she said had been taken so much out of context. After all, she said no to Anne before. Multiple times. Because the one time she did run to Anne, Anne sent her back to Charles. And that was why they had to wait for him to die because it was never going to happen any other way.
And it wasn't like she hadn't committed to Anne in the past. It wasn't like Anne didn't know that she never loved Charles. That she only married because she was forced to.
Mariana found herself walking the corridors of Langton, for the first time wishing that Tib never introduced them all those years ago. She knew that Anne had wished that many times. She never thought she would.
She considered retiring for the night, just so she didn't have to see Anne and her little friend. To attempt to hide from the hurt. Even though all she wanted was to fall into Anne’s arms and bed.
But Mariana felt like she had struck gold when she heard Miss Walker's voice. She managed to peer into the room, glad that Miss Walker's back was to her and that she was alone.
And maybe if Anne hadn't been so vocal as to how much it would hurt Miss Walker, then Mariana might have let things be.
But Mariana knew that it could be the only opportunity she might get. If she couldn't get Anne to see the madness of it all, then she would have to break little Miss Walker's heart. She could deal with Anne once she calmed down. And Anne would be hers once more.
Mariana lightly tapped on the door, causing Nero to bark and scamper off at the sight of her. The dog didn't like her. Not that she liked the dog either. The only reason there were dogs at Lawton was to keep Charles busy. If she had the choice, there wouldn't be a dog within a 20 mile radius of her.
She was sure that she had caught Miss Walker off guard but she seemed to compose herself quickly, a small smile rising on her face.
“Mrs Lawton.”
“Miss Walker,” Mariana said as she walked into the room. “I was hoping to catch you.”
Miss Walker's face twitched as Mariana sat down in the chair to the right of her. Maybe she could see why Anne was interested in her. If nothing else, she was pretty. Pretty and pretty rich.
“Was you?” Miss Walker said, her tone giving away her nerves.
Mariana was sure that she was outwardly showing how smug she felt. Because she felt like she was right. Miss Walker was just an insipid little heiress that Anne would eventually get bored of once the excitement of the whole sordid affair settled down. She certainly couldn't see what Anne had talked about. About that being more to Miss Walker.
Getting Anne back was probably going to be easier than she first thought.