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Kujou Sara is a woman with a great deal of depth.
Lumine had said that she's a lot like an onion, once, that every layer of her you peel away reveals another, deeper, layer.
As Kokomi has learned to know her, she's realised how apt the description is.
She appears hard and uncompromising, but is actually one of the kindest people Kokomi has ever met. They say that she's just an attack dog for the Tenryou Commission, but every time Kokomi has her sources dig into the corruption inside the Shogunate Sara stands out in her attempts to minimise the damage it can do.
As she's learning now, Lumine leading her seemingly unresponsive self by the wrist into their camp, she's also not doing quite as well mentally as Kokomi had assumed.
"What happened?" She can't quite keep the discomfort out of her voice. She's never seen Sara like this, or even heard that she could be, not even during the worst parts of the civil war.
"We don't know!" Paimon flies up to her, looking as panicked as Kokomi tries not to be. "We were just out looking for Fatui when some Kairiagi jumped us, and after we beat 'em up Sara looked at them and became like this!"
Their attention turn back to Sara, just as she's being seated on a log by Lumine.
Her eyes are staring into nothing, as if there's something deep beneath the ground that only she can see.
Kokomi recognises it. There are many men and women on Watatsumi with stares just like that.
War, it would seem, makes no difference between Soldiers and Generals outside of the battlefield either.
"I know what to do. Would you mind giving us some space?"
Paimon looks hesitant, but Lumine nods and grabs her to drag her away despite her protests.
Kokomi turns towards Sara again. She hasn't moved at all throughout the exchange, instead just staring down quietly.
Kokomi makes sure to approach inside her line of sight. It feels a bit strange to treat Sara, kind and wonderful as she is, as some sort of startled animal, but the soldiers on Watatsumi sometimes reacted poorly to being approached from behind, so she's not going to take any chances.
"Sara?"
The Tengu doesn't react at all. Kokomi squats down in front of her, to catch her eyes. Sara's eyes snap to Kokomi's face.
"Sara. Is it okay if I touch you?"
She gets a silent nod in response. As soon as Kokomi touches her, Sara reaches out to grab her.
It's not quite a hug, on account of Sara being Sara and prone to practically turning into a liquid at the idea of physical affection, but it's enough to get across the point that she's actually there.
"Do you want to talk about it? What happened?"
Sara remains silent for a long time. Then she sighs, tiredly, as if the weight of the world is resting on her shoulders.
"One of the Kairagi. . ." She trails off again, as if in thought. "He looked just like one of the recruits to the fifth regiment during the war."
"Do you think it was him?"
Sara smiles sadly. "No. I know that it was not. He died crying for his mother, after someone cut his gut open."
She trails off again, and returns to staring. Kokomi just hold her as her grip on Kokomi's arms tighten.
"The blood just. . . reminded me." When she turns to look at Kokomi this time, her eyes are haunted. "It's stupid, isn't it? I shouldn't turn into some gibbering mess just because I see a little blood, should I?"
It's not. It's just like soldiers on Watatsumi. Which brings with it another important question.
"Was this the first time something like this happens?" She makes an effort to sound as unaccusatory as possible. Most of the people she'd previously talked to was at best embarrassed about it, and Sara's tendency to be embarrassed about having feeling and emotions at all make it unlikely that she's an exception.
After a brief silence, Sara sighs again. ". . . It is not."
This time, to Kokomi's surprise, Sara shifts their embrace into a hug. "I typically do not know what to do. I just . . . wait until it stops. I sleep if it is convenient."
Her eyes shy away from Kokomi's own, as if she knows they'll be filled with disapproval. "I know it isn't healthy. I do. I just feel so stupid whenever it happens, and I don't wish to bother anyone with my own problems when I can just. . ."
Kokomi already knows what she's about to say. Most of the soldiers thought they could just "get over it" or some variation thereof too. Sara's eyes cross as they try to focus in on the finger Kokomi put to her lips to silence her.
"Here's what we will do, Sara. You're going to sleep, and then we'll talk more about this tomorrow, when there's some distance between you and this happening, okay?"
Sara nods. Her lips brush back and forth on Kokomi's finger, and she's sure it all looks very silly, but she's happy that Sara agreed so easily.
She doesn't expect Sara turning around and looking at her nervously, though. "Would you. . . Accompany me? I understand if it is too much to ask, but your presence typically calms my nerves and. . ."
"Of course I will, Sara."
It's a tiny bit rude to interrupt her like that, but Sara working herself up in a nervous ramble would probably be bad for her sleep.
Being sprawled out on a fur beside a Tengu two heads taller than herself and proportionally broader as well would typically not be what Kokomi defines as a comfortable rest, but almost as soon as Sara dozes off, which is to say when she is no longer inhibited by worrying about propriety, Kokomi finds herself collected in the Tengu's arms and held close to her chest like a stuffed animal.
As much as Lumine will tease her about it when she returns, this is exactly what Sara needs, and the genuinely content smile on her face as her breathing evens out is proof of that. Knowing that someone cares enough to let her will help her open up in due time.
With a smile of her own, Kokomi closes her eyes.
