Work Text:
Levi POV
The world is never fair. I have been dragged through years and years of shit. The underground. Thugs. Titans. For so long I thought I’d had it the worst. Been through the worst. Survived the worst. Then I met Eren Jaeger. A stupid kid with dreams as big as wall Maria. When Erwin first introduced me to him, I like to believe I saw something of myself there. Anger, hatred, determination, bitterness. The world had eaten the kid up and spat him back out again. Literally. I decided then to try to help him. To kill him if need be. But help I would.
He survived the trial. The first step was done. He was now a scout just like the rest of us. Godforsaken and left for dead by the masses.
He trained with us, he ate with us, he lived with us. Eventually the fear and hatred slipped away. All around me I saw my squad grow to accept this boy. This soldier. They saw in him the same determination and dedication I saw in him. They understood his true value, his true potential. He was a soldier and comrade. He was my subordinate.
Together we trained. Through wind and rain, snow and hail. I saw a side of him others neglected to see. He did not intentionally hide it away I believe, but it simply got pushed to the side amongst his cadet training, titan training, and general ruckus of scouting life. I was privileged enough to see the side of him which possessed utter joy at going outside these walls. He came alive outside those walls. He became free.
I don’t know when it happened, but eventually we started sharing stories together. Sharing our experiences within and beyond the walls. He told me of the trouble he, Mikasa, and Armin would get into. I told him of the underground and of Isabelle and Farlan. He became someone I could trust and rely upon. After the death of my squad I had very few people to connect with, so he became a greater aspect of my life. I had to protect him for the sake of humanity, but I also had to protect him for myself.
As he grew older, he matured, he came to master the 3DMG in a way few could. I taught him everything I knew, and he absorbed it all, though it did take him quite a few broken limbs to master it all. He kept at his training and he mastered his titan form. As a titan he became a beacon of hope for the scouting legion, the number of survivors improved vastly, and the road to Shinganshina district became attainable.
He saved me more times than I care to count, and in more ways than one. But I saved him too. From titans, from others, from himself. He grabbed me right out of titans grasps and pulled me through the deaths of my comrades. I came to rely on him as much as he relied on me.
I learnt his likes and dislikes, I learnt what angered him and what upset him. I learnt not to talk of his father. I learnt that he liked the smell of the earth just after it rained. I learnt that he would do anything to protect his friends and his own. I learnt that he was selfless to the point of being suicidal.
And that one fact. That he possessed a sense of utter selflessness is what led me to where I am right now. Sitting on the beach in a world free of titans.
Below me is the ocean, a vast body of water that stretches on forever. Sometimes the water is blue, sometimes green. Always beautiful. Always like his eyes. I sometimes talk to him still. As I sit on this lonely beach. I talk to him of the wonders of this world; the vast ocean, the impenetrable rainforests, the mountains taller than the Walls. I talk to him of the freedom we have achieved and the safety that we have bestowed upon this land. And as I talk to him I weep.
I talk and talk for hours. But not once do I get a reply. I hope he hears me. I miss him dearly. He offered me a support none others had given except Isabelle and Farlan. He gave me hope in a hopeless world. He offered freedom where freedom could not be found. He me offered love in my loveless life. And I had taken it. I had opened myself to him because he had understood. The pain, the brutality, the misunderstanding.
I often told him to make the choice that he would least regret. I do no regret opening myself to him. But I do regret letting him love me. I regret letting him get too close. So close that he would rather die than live without me. So close that he would choose to save me over himself.
That boy had grown into a man and captured my heart with determination and kindness. He took my tattered, broken life and threw it into turmoil. He rejuvenated me in so many ways. Hope, love, lust. All three he brought with him, and all three he ripped away again. But I survived.
Once again I survived. I look back at all I have gone though and think that there is nothing worse than what he did to me. I loved him. I still do. He brought me through the worst and I came crashing back down again. Why Eren? Why did you save me? I miss your antics and you smiles. I miss your sea green eyes. Now listen to me, I’m becoming a fucking poet all over a stupid green eyed brat. But I guess that’s just it. A stupid green eyed brat is what I need in my life and there is no one left to stop me finding you. I will find you again Eren. In the next life and every other. We will meet again. And this time I will tell you that I love you…