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It was a wildfire.
That is what Lan Qiren told himself as he boarded the plane, grasping his nephews tightly. Lan Huan held little Lan Zhan, tired but not even once complaining about having to hold his little brother. It was okay, because they were about to be on a plane for fourteen hours.
Going back home.
It felt like he was delivering himself into the dragon’s den, a sacrifice who must submit to their fate. Perhaps he was, in another life - maybe that is why he is forced to live like this.
Lan Qiren thought escaping to another continent would be enough to evade him. He surely wouldn’t go so far out of his way to get back his run-away bride, would he? It’s not like Lan Qiren was in any way remarkable - he was a middle-aged, unpleasant man. He came with two nephews attached to his hip who he’d always value over anything and anyone else. He was so, so insignificant. It made no sense that Lan Qiren had become the object of desire and obsession of a man who could bring entire countries to its knees if he wanted to.
It was a wildfire.
It was impossible for him to have found Lan Qiren, right? It had been three years - three years apart, three years since Lan Qiren had left in the dead of night, two tired nephews strapped to his chest and only a handful of belongings in a duffel bag. If Wen Ruohan had wanted him back, he would’ve done it sooner, wouldn’t he have? It was merely a coincidence that Lan Qiren’s home had been burnt down by a fire predicted to have started miles away. It was only a coincidence that everything except the most precious things had been burned. It was only a coincidence that Lan Qiren had lost all of his work, all of the clothing he had spent months on stitching to sell in town. It was only a coincidence that they had lost so much that it was impossible for them to recover, and had the choice of scrounging for scraps on the street, or returning home.
Lan Qiren’s hand tightens on the paper cup of burnt coffee the flight attendant had given him, seething with anger and irritation.
Wen Ruohan kept him like a bird in a sanctuary - he had given him the illusion of freedom, so that he wouldn’t notice his clipped wings.
It’s beyond maddening. He wants to scream Why didn’t you take me back sooner? Was it just to torture him?
No - Wen Ruohan is not that cruel. Well, not that purposefully cruel to Lan Qiren. His precious husband.
Lan Qiren wraps both of his arms around his nephews on either side of him, pulling them close. Lan Zhan doesn’t even budge from his slumber, but Lan Huan gives him a small smile before settling in.
Their house had burnt while they were all out - the boys at school and Lan Qiren delivering a few pieces of clothing to various people. It was intentionally at a time where no one could be harmed.
Wen Ruohan has never been overly cruel to Lan Qiren. Contrary to what most people would believe about a crime boss, he was a very kind lover. He did not force marriage onto Lan Qiren. He was a nuisance, yes, but if Lan Qiren would’ve looked him in the eye and sincerely said he didn’t want to be pursued by Wen Ruohan, he would’ve left him alone. He showered Lan Qiren with gifts he had no interest in and made sure Lan Qiren knew he was loved. He opened his home to Lan Qiren and his nephews, treated his nephews like Wen Ruohan did his own sons, and eventually proposed. Lan Qiren had said yes, for once not overthinking it.
Everything was absolutely perfect.
Except, Lan Qiren could not live with the guilt. Everyday he read the news and tragedy on top of tragedy all around the country. Business man who owed the triad money found dead in his office, shot execution-style. Young woman who had just started college found ditched in a drain pipe - it was discovered her brother had crossed the triad. Politician and his entire family of five burnt to a crisp in their mansion. Young drug dealer drowned for not paying the triad on time.
Every single one of their faces and corpses had permanently painted themselves over Lan Qiren’s eyelids. Wen Ruohan was not a cruel man to Lan Qiren and his family - but he was a downright evil man when it came to business.
So, Lan Qiren left. He had been raised to always follow the right path, to be a moral and upstanding citizen. How could he enjoy living in a life of luxury, knowing the same husband who treated him so kindly was destroying their country, destroying the lives of so many people?
He moved halfway across the world with his two nephews and began anew. He kept everything in cash so that his husband couldn’t look into his financial statements and figure out where he was. He went by a different name, and his nephews did too. He never gave his true age and claimed to have been born in his current country of residence, despite his heavy accent saying otherwise. He never did anything that could possibly draw up Wen Ruohan’s attention.
For all intents and purposes, it seemed like Lan Qiren had simply vanished.
Except, clearly it didn’t, because Wen Ruohan had found him.
Lan Qiren feeds the airplane food to Lan Zhan, who has just woken up.
“Are we going to see Shenshen again?” Lan Zhan asks between bites of the poor excuse for a salad. The flight staff had scrambled to find something vegetarian for them and had combined sides of salad to make one big meal.
Lan Qiren can’t help but smile. “I thought A-Zhan wasn’t fond of Shenshen?”
When they had first moved into Wen Ruohan’s home, Lan Zhan had become closed off and moody. It didn’t help that he was so young and didn’t take to change easily. Lan Huan had integrated well, even though he was nervous around Wen Ruohan’s sons, but Lan Zhan simply turned up his nose when it came to Wen Ruohan. It had driven Lan Qiren crazy, especially since Wen Ruohan seemed so set on pleasing his nephews and bending at every one of their whims.
Lan Zhan looks away and into the bowl of salad. “Shenshen was nice. And Shufu missed Shenshen and was sad.”
Lan Qiren’s heart squeezes. He had truly tried to hold himself together over these past three years, and did a good job at it. But there were moments where all Lan Qiren wanted to do was call Wen Ruohan and ask for him to send a plane for them and take them home.
Sometimes the boys would catch him messing with the wedding ring he refused to take off, looking at it with a tinge of longing.
“Shenshen treated Shufu well.” Lan Huan chimes in, looking so earnest. He was old enough to actually remember what his parents’ relationship was like, and so he was a little more pointed in his blatant distrust of Wen Ruohan, at first. Eventually, though, he took to Wen Ruohan well and seemed to enjoy having him be a part of their family.
Yes, he does, Lan Qiren thinks.
They land early in the morning, before the sun has risen but the sky is still light.
As they exit their gate, Lan Qiren notices Wen Xu is already waiting for them, arms crossed over his chest. Wen Xu, unlike Wen Chao, never made any effort to get along with Lan Qiren and his nephews, and seemed to loathe his father’s choice of a new spouse. Whether it's because he was still mourning the death of their mother or because he simply couldn’t stand the Lans, Lan Qiren isn’t sure.
“Fuqin is waiting in the car.” Wen Xu says in lieu of greetings, grabbing the carry on bag from Lan Qiren’s hand. It was all they brought with them besides the clothes on their backs.
He looks at Lan Huan and Lan Zhan with disinterest before turning to Lan Qiren, eyes narrowed. “He is anxious to see you.” His voice is sharp, and with that he turns, leaving them to follow behind.
Lan Qiren notices how tired Lan Huan is still and takes Lan Zhan from his arms, cradling him close to his body. If he could, he’d pick up Lan Huan too, but the boy is a little too old for that, and so is Lan Qiren.
There is a chic car Lan Qiren couldn’t even begin to guess the name of pulled up to the sidewalk, Wen Ruohn leaning against its frame.
He is dressed warmly, dark maroon wool coat tied tightly around his waist. Hair unbound and flowing down his body, having grown longer since he last saw him. In his arms are a bushel of peonies, like the ones he had given Lan Qiren when they first officially met.
“They mean wishes for a happy marriage,” Wen Ruohan had said after he had placed them on the counter of Lan Qiren’s small tailor shop, “and I full intend to make good on that wish.”
Lan Qiren knows he looks as cold as ice to anyone else, but he truly feels a deep inner turmoil. Two sides raging against one another; on one hand, he is angry, he wants to scream and cry and choke Wen Ruohan to death, but on the other, he still feels the silly and immature joy of being wanted and loved.
Wen Ruohan grins widely when he sees them. He opens up the back car door, already motioning for them to come closer.
Lan Huan is the first to crawl into the backseat, smiling at Wen Ruohan and greeting him with a simple but pleased, “Thank you, Shenshen.”
Next is Lan Zhan. Wen Ruohan trades the flowers for Lan Zhan with Lan Qiren, hiking him up carefully. Lan Zhan merely grumbles in his sleep and Wen Ruohan barks a laugh, gently placing him with his brother in the car.
Finally, Wen Ruohan turns to him.
Lan Qiren, not for the first time in his life, does not know what to say.
There are plenty of possible words for him to say - he can be thankful, be furious, be joyful, be upset. He can laugh and smile, can cry and scream, can kick and hit. He feels like doing all of them, and yet finds himself once again restrained by his own mind. To act in any of these ways would be undignified and too much. He had spent most of his life as an emotional recluse, came out of his shell for a few years, and has withdrawn back into himself in the time they have been separated.
Wen Ruohan, however, does not share his same reservations.
He reaches out and wraps his hand in the hair at the back of his head and pulls Lan Qiren forward, head-first into a passionate kiss. It’s almost as awful as their first kiss, in which Lan Qiren had, in his own desperation of depriving himself from this for so long, had gotten overly eager and ended up bruising them both by slamming into him too hard and their teeth clacking painfully. It’s not painful now, but Lan Qiren knows that they look like they’re trying to devour each other through their mouths. If he had the ability to think, he’d be self conscious about it, but right now Wen Ruohan’ hand is firm against his neck and hip, hot tongue in his mouth, and all he can think about is how good it feels.
No matter how righteous or upstanding he tries to be, nothing will ever top the way he feels with Wen Ruohan. No matter the blood caked on his hands, the bodies under his floorboards - Lan Qiren will always love him. He always has.
When they pull away, Lan Qiren can feel how wet his face is and briefly realizes he is crying. Damn it.
Wen Ruohan slides his hand up to cradle Lan Qiren’s cheek, using his thumb to swipe his tears. Lan Qiren feels ridiculous letting it happen, but for once, he wants to enjoy this.
“Xingan,” Wen Ruohan breathes out, and Lan Qiren immediately rolls his eyes despite his utter delight. He’s chastised Wen Ruohan plenty of times for using such names - at first, it was because he threw them around callously, then after they married, it was because Lan Qiren simply believes such endearments are for young people only. He isn’t some young, twenty year old; to use such words on him is ridiculous. And yet, as terrible as it is, it works on him when it's coming from Wen Ruohan.
Wen Ruohan, of course, ignores this small display of annoyance. “How I’ve missed you.”
Lan Qiren can’t help the strike of irritation that runs through him. “I would’ve thought that if you missed us so much, you would have called for us sooner.”
Even through the veneer of Wen Ruohan’s perfectly crafted facade of authority and confidence, he can see him flinch and crumble a little at his harsh words. Lan Qiren immediately regrets saying it. Do not succumb to rage. Do not hold grudges. Be careful with your words.
The chip in the varnish is gone within a second, Wen Ruohan pulling on a sly smile as he moves his hand to join his other, both resting on Lan Qiren’s waist. It’s indecent and obnoxious and perfectly formulated to irritate Lan Qiren.
“And did A-Ren miss me too? Hmm?” He teases, rubbing circles into his hips with his thumbs.
Lan Qiren recognizes the ploy for what it is. He simply nods, schooling his face to look as neutral as possible.
The hands on his hips tighten. “Then why didn’t you return sooner?”
Lan Qiren levels him a meaningful look.
“Do not be purposefully ignorant. You know why.”
Wen Ruohan hums noncommitedly.
Lan Qiren knows they are dragging this out. They’re standing in the middle of the parking lot, people are going in and out of the airport, and his nephews are waiting in the car. He should just get in the car, and have this discussion in the house. But Lan Qiren is not one to step into the unknown callously, and he needs to know.
“Why did you call for us now?”
He doesn’t let his gaze waver. Wen Ruohan doesn’t either. For a moment, they only stare at each other, waiting for the other to crack under the unseen pressure that mounts. However, they have known each other too long - their faces are too thick and they are both too stubborn to look away.
Wen Ruohan sighs and grasps Lan Qiren by his upper arms instead, surprisingly soft.
“I may have been… working on transferring the company over to other people.”
Lan Qiren only stares at him, wide-eyed.
Wen Ruohan, for all of the time that they have known each other, has always been obsessed with the longevity of his work. He has always strived to stay on top of everyone else, to be superior to all. His wealth and material possessions have always been highly prized by him, yes, but power is truly what Wen Ruohan desired and thrived on. Lan Qiren had never even once asked Wen Ruohan to step down from the triad because he went into their relationship knowing what kind of man Wen Ruohan was - he always thought that he’d cling to his power until his death.
It was incredibly uncharacteristic for Wen Ruohan to willingly give up any amount of power - especially this much.
“Qiren,” Wen Ruohan says abruptly, “I missed you so fucking much. I can’t live without you here anymore. It isn’t– I just can’t.”
Lan Qiren breathes out evenly and brings a hand up to cup the side of Wen Ruohan’s neck.
“I love you.”
Lan Qiren grew up restrained and repressed. He never learned how to properly articulate how he felt about anything to anyone. It's an awful trait he’s most definitely passed onto his nephews already. Even in moments like these, he can never fully explain himself. But right now, those words perfectly sum up how he feels.
He can see the relief on Wen Ruohan’s face. Wen Ruohan smiles widely - not the sly or deceiving smile he’ll usually wear, but a genuine one so full of love Lan Qiren immediately feels his face colour at having such a look directed at him.
“I love you, too. Now, let's get in the car, we can talk about this after we get the boys home. A-Chao has been waiting in the car and is probably gonna kill me for making him late to his date.”
Lan Qiren resists the urge to mirror his smile and nods, climbing into the back of the car, semi-crushed peonies in his lap.
Later, when inquisitive little Lan Huan asks what really happened to their house when settling into bed, Lan Qiren will simply say: “It was a wildfire.”