Archive of Our Own ^beta

Goro couldn’t cook. He just couldn’t. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried— he had, but anytime he got near a kitchen it seemed something was bound to catch fire. Maybe he was just cursed. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing that had happened in his clusterfuck of a life. But it was safe to say his lack of culinary talent… irritated him. A bit. A fair bit. Especially after he met Akira and saw how effortlessly the boy took to absolutely anything, including cooking. And especially after that goddamn roadtrip a couple years back when he managed to recreate every dish they came across damn near perfectly. And especially now, when there was always fresh, well-cooked food in the fridge, when the scent of excellent cooking lingered in their kitchen, when he could often hear Akira moving around between pots and pans, humming happily under his breath.

So yeah, Goro was a bit fucking agitated. When Akira put on that goddamn apron of his— the pink one that said ‘kiss the cook’ in that stupid bubbly font that had been a joke present from Ann he had refused to get rid of— took ingredients out of the fridge, grabbed his favorite knife, and started humming to himself as the whole apartment slowly started to smell delicious. Goro hated it. It wasn’t fair. He’d spent a good deal of time and money trying to learn and had fallen flat on his fucking face, and then Akira came along and made all these dishes completely effortlessly, putting aside so much time from his studies when Goro was the one sitting at home most of the day, coming home from his classes exhausted yet still going straight to the kitchen—

Goro had been working on being honest with his feelings. It was the thing he and his therapist focused on the most. Translating his unending source of anger into thoughts and emotions that were more… honest. Workable. And, well, as much as he absolutely hated to admit it, maybe there was a certain… guilt. At the core of this particular annoyance. At being utterly fucking useless in the kitchen. At knowing he was so goddamn horrible at everything domestic, while Akira took to it like a natural. At having to rely so much on his already overworked boyfriend. Not that Akira ever complained— of course he didn’t, he said he loved making food for him, for them, which Goro didn’t doubt, because he was nothing but a sappy romantic at heart, but it was still… annoying. Painful. To see him put so much energy into things Goro should be able to do for himself. For— for them. 

Which was all a very long winded explanation for why he was currently cursing up a storm in the smoke-cloud that was their kitchen, desperately opening windows and trying to fan the noxious gas through them. It wasn’t working. The whole apartment smelled like burning. The pan he’d used was burnt to a crisp. Akira was coming home in a few minutes and Goro would to have to kill one or both of them to cover for his absolute failure. Dr. Okada had been wrong. This wasn’t helping him work through his emotions, or show Akira how much he cared. It was just destroying their entire apartment. It was just absolutely fucking stupid.

He heard the front door open. He froze. “Honey, I’m—” Akira abruptly cut himself off, followed by his frantic footsteps as he ran to the kitchen. Goro buried his abruptly burning face in his hands and prayed the earth would swallow him whole. “Goro?!” Akira exclaimed, panicked, worried, because the room smelled like smoke and he was an emotional idiot. “Are you okay?! What happened?!”

He felt his hands touch his wrists, gently trying to pry them away from his face, to which Goro let out a long-suffering sigh. “I’m fine .” He snapped, voice muffled by his palms. “I’m not injured or anything, just— Ugh. It’s fine. Nothing’s broken.” Just my pride . "It's all fine."

Akira stared at him silently for a moment, eyes burning a hole into the crown of his head, before abruptly stepping away. He heard him pick up the frying pan and winced into his hands. “Were you…” Akira started hesitantly, putting it back down. “Trying to cook?”

“‘Trying’ being the operative word.” Goro muttered, before lifting his head to look anywhere but his boyfriend, crossing his arms tight over his stomach. “Fine. Yes .” He said sharply. “I was ‘trying’ to cook. Not that I fucking succeeded in doing anything but almost setting the entire goddamn building on fire—”

“ Goro .” He involuntarily looked back to Akira at the sound of his name, finding him— Smiling. Smiling . Eyes sparkling and lips pulled up to a bright, awed smile, like Goro had hung the damn stars in the sky or something, not failed miserably at making dinner.

“ What ?” He snapped, turning away again to fruitlessly hide his blushing cheeks, because Akira looking at him like that was— It made him feel things. Like butterflies in his stomach. And he hated it. “Why are you looking at me like—”

“Goro.” Akira said again, voice softer this time, in that way he had to know made Goro’s breath hitch and his chest tighten. He placed his hands on either side of his face, running his thumbs in agonizingly gentle circles on his cheeks, and Goro glared at nothing in particular, already feeling his embarrassed annoyance start to fade away. “Look at me.”

He glanced over at him, not turning fully to face him because, despite the way his insides were actively melting, he didn’t want Akira to do that thing. That thing where he looked him in the eye and relentlessly picked at his walls until Goro finally cracked and the truth spilled from his lips. He wanted to at least hold onto some of his dignity.

“You’re amazing.” He said. Goro scoffed and looked away again. “No, really, you are.” He ducked his head to catch his eye better, and Goro couldn’t help looking over at him again. “You know you didn’t have to do this but you did. And I appreciate that so much . I appreciate you so much . I love you.”

Goro felt his walls crumble to dust. Goddammit. This fucking guy… He rolled his eyes with a scoff but reluctantly leant into one of his hands. “I failed fucking miserably.” He muttered.

“Yeah.” Akira agreed. Goro turned to face him fully with a glare, only for Akira’s lips to split apart with a grin because of course that’s the reaction he’d wanted. “But you tried.”

“Fuck off.” Goro said without any real bite. “Trying means fuck all if you fail.”

“Nope~" Akira said, still wearing that shiteating grin. Goro hated him. He loved him so much. “It means everything. So long as you keep trying, you’re not giving up. And that’s what matters.” He fell silent for a moment, his grin smoothing out into a crooked, painfully fond little smile. “You mean everything to me, Goro.” He murmured. “Every little thing you do is incredible. Every new thing you try astounds me. You’re amazing.”

“Shut up.” Goro muttered, heart fluttering in his chest. How Akira could go day in and day out saying all this cheesy shit… He didn’t get it. He was so goddamn… “It was just cooking. An attempt at cooking. I should know how to cook by now.” He paused, pursing his lips as he thought. “...You’re the amazing one.” He finally got out, barely louder than a whisper, but he knew from the bright smile on Akira’s face that he’d heard him.

“We’re both amazing.” He said, leaning in closer until their foreheads touched. “How about that?”

Goro was far too embarrassed to say anything in response. So he didn’t. He pressed forward to connect their lips in a kiss, feeling Akira’s smile grow. He was fucking ridiculous. And he was the most incredible man Goro had ever met. 

____________________

Forty minutes later Goro still didn’t know how to cook, but he did know how to chop vegetables without slicing his fingers off on Akira’s ridiculously sharp knives. He’d also tried to pay attention to how to sauté said vegetables, but with Akira’s chest warm against his back and his fingers gentle around his wrists and his voice rumbling just next to his ear, it was a bit hard to focus. But dinner got made without any further fires or other accidents, and as they sat down to eat Goro caught Akira’s hand in his own and gave it a squeeze.

“Akira?” He said quietly, staring down at his plate. “I love you, too.”