Work Text:
Falling
"Josh?" Maya couldn't believe her own eyes. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Philadelphia with the others?"
Josh stood in her doorframe, a bouquet of fleur-de-lis' tightly held in his shaky hands and his head hanging low, his fringe of soft brown strands of hair falling into his eyes.
His voice sounded pained, "May I come in?"
Maya moved aside, leaving enough space for him to enter her small flat. It wasn't much but she was rather proud of being able to pay for her own apartment during college.
Josh walked slow, hearing the soft click of the lock falling into place as Maya closed the front door behind him. In the back of her bedroom, he heard a song playing quietly. There were some small color stains on her cheeks and forehead, red and blue, to be exact. She was painting before he arrived unannounced.
Josh frowned as he tried to make out the lyrics of the song. "Am I interrupting you?" he gestured at her face and then at the hallway leading to her bedroom.
First, Maya looked confused, her eyes narrowing before widening in realization. "Shoot," she mumbled, before practically running into the bathroom. Despite his foul mood, he smiled as she hastily cleaned her face with water.
He wouldn't have minded if she kept the color stains. It suited her already adorable appearance.
"You're not interrupting," Maya answered his previous question while hanging the towel back over the stand next to the sink. She walked past him, entering the kitchen.
Josh's smile got bigger as she started brewing a coffee without needing to ask if he wanted one. Maya always knew when he needed caffeine. She also knew exactly how he liked his coffee.
Only the song filled the silence, neither of the two wanting to disturb whatever had settled between them since Josh rang Maya's doorbell. Maya fixed his cup of coffee in peace, though her concentration seemed rather forced. Her eyes looked tired as he took them in; dark circles around her eyes, the blue lacking its usual mirth. The sea might have looked calm, but there was a storm raging beneath the surface, waiting to unfold.
Whatever would happen, Josh knew he'd be at the receiving end. Somehow he felt like it was his fault anyway.
'What if you're someone I just want around?'
He picked up some lyrics as Maya handed him the cup of coffee silently. Her face was impassive, lips pressed together in a thin line and eyes downcast to hide the emotions bubbling beneath the waves. She couldn't hide. Josh knew her too well.
He reached out to her, holding out the flowers he bought on his way to her apartment.
Maya looked at him, really looked at him for the first time since she let him in, and raised an eyebrow. Good, Josh thought, She's not too far gone.
"Can we talk?" he managed to ask. Maya broke their eye contact and slowly took the bouquet of her favorite flowers before she got completely lost in them.
"We can."
Josh followed her onto the couch he helped pick up the day she moved in. He sat down first, watching as Maya placed the flowers into a vase to buy herself some time before having to address the much-needed conversation.
As she came back, she was slow, almost scared to sit down next to him. Lastly, she decided to lean against the wall, not sitting down at all. Josh didn't mind, yet Maya saw the hurt flash in his eyes. Her heart ached at the sight.
Josh stared at a picture hanging on her wall. "You haven't thrown me out."
"You haven't given me a reason yet," she shrugged. Not like last time.
He was in that picture. "I suppose so."
"Why aren't you in Philadelphia?"
She was in that picture, too. "I could ask you the same thing."
Her eyebrows shot up as she crossed her arms. "Well, I asked first. Twice, to be exact." She was right. Both times.
"I'm here because of you." Maya sucked in a breath.
They were holding hands in that picture, smiling at each other. The whole thing screamed adoration and young love, in a forest, not any forest though, the forest. The one up at Mount Sun Lodge. Her eighteenth birthday.
"I can only guess why you chose not to come along for the family visit. Though I like to think I know you pretty well, too well sometimes, so I already know," he said, still staring at that damn picture she couldn't get out of her mind.
"Then why do you ask if you know?" she shot back, defensive.
"Just wanted to see if I'm right."
Maya scoffed, her arms falling against her sides. "Seriously? You're too cocky for your own good sometimes, Matthews."
"Only with you," he smirked. He wished he would feel as confident as he seemed.
Maya stared at him, more like glaring, and pushed herself off the wall. "I stayed in New York because college's been a pain in the ass lately and I got lots of shit to do still-"
Josh chuckled at her excuse. "You're a good liar, Maya. But you can't fool me."
She swallowed hard, narrowing her eyes as the pressure weighed down on her. She hated being caught. "It's not a complete lie," she tried to reason, helplessly gesturing at a pile of papers, a week's worth of work, on her table.
He clicked his tongue, deep in thought about his next words. Josh knew he needed to choose them carefully. "It's not," he nodded once. "I still hope you'll tell me the truth," he added in a soft tone.
Maya risked a glance at Josh, seeing his eyes soften at the troubled expression she wore. "I'm sorry."
Her voice was just a whisper. If Josh would have been too lost in the picture frame, he wouldn't have caught the words. As his eyes wandered back to her, she was already looking at him. It was rare to see Maya so vulnerable.
"I'm sorry, too."
"Why are you apologizing?" the words left her mouth almost immediately.
His eyes stayed focused on her. "I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me."
"You deserved to know." Maya was way closer than before and Josh was standing by now.
"Still," Josh said, ending the discussion.
Maya stared at him with those sad, hopeless blue eyes, asking for forgiveness. She hadn't done anything wrong, yet she always felt responsible for her.
"I'm just wondering if you didn't want to come because of me or her."
Maya bit the inside of her cheek as she thought of an answer. "I guess, because of the both of you." Josh barked out a laugh, seeing Maya starting to blush furiously. "What? It's true!"
She watched Josh laughing and, although he was openly laughing at her, she didn't mind one bit. Because she knew it was good-hearted because it was Josh. He never meant harm to her, she felt safe. Even, when they fought.
"You were right last time," she admitted after he calmed down.
"About what?"
Maya breathed in deep. "About everything," she breathed out.
She kept her eyes on the floor, not wanting to see the 'I told you so' look reflecting in his eyes. Josh walked towards Maya and lifted her head with two fingers, waiting for her eyes to cross his. As they finally did, he smiled softly. Any trace of humor was gone, there was just genuine concern for her.
She still hated herself for how she had acted over the last few days.
...
It was supposed to be a great date night. Both finally managed to find time in-between college classes and work to have dinner together, so they could celebrate their newfound relationship.
Their families and friends had been rather vocal the day Maya and Josh gave an update on their relationship status.
'Someday' was seen as cute as they first presented the idea a few years back, as Maya was still fifteen, and starting High School, and Josh was eighteen, just starting college.
They meant what they had promised each other.
Nowadays, people were surprised they actually tried to make it work. Maya's friends were shocked, telling her how they would have never expected it, and assumed the promise was just a joke, something Maya and Josh would laugh about as they got older. Josh's friends from college couldn't believe what he told them. All this time they thought Maya was just a good childhood friend with a crush that got a little out of hand and that Josh had been too nice about it, so he made up this 'someday' thing until she grew out of her crush.
Katy was scared for her daughter, already assuming Josh would tear Maya's heart into pieces the first chance he got. Shawn saw the perfect opportunity to play the overprotective father and everything he already knew about the youngest Matthews was thrown right out of the window.
Cory laughed it off, pretending Maya and Josh were still too young for that kind of commitment, simply because he couldn't handle them growing up. Topanga had been the only one to seem happy about the development between the two love birds, telling them she never once doubted their feelings for each other. She also told them they shouldn't take whatever the others said to heart.
Well, that seemed to be easier said than done. It was fucking hard.
Still, Maya thought she could handle it. That was until her best friend caught wind of it all.
That was where the real chaos began.
"Tell me, you're joking!"
"He's still three years older than you, you know that, right?!"
"How could you do this to me?!"
"'Someday' was just a joke, why do you act as if it's real now?"
"He's almost done with college and you barely started it. How's that gonna work?!"
"What will the others think? Have you even thought about that?"
"God, Maya, he's my uncle!"
"You have to end this, right now!"
Everything Riley had yelled at Maya hurt. Each word twisted the knife a little further until Maya pulled it out herself.
"What about my happiness, Riley? I've never been more serious about anything else!"
Shortly after their fight, Maya called Josh to end their new relationship. How could she keep dating him if his niece, her best friend, was against it, and, apparently, almost everyone else?
Riley and Maya hadn't talked since their fight a few days prior.
Josh had shown up after Maya's call, only half an hour after Riley had left.
"Why do you want to end it? Did I mess up already?" Maya's heart broke as Josh forced out the words. She couldn't believe that he thought he did something wrong. He was too nice for his own good sometimes.
Maya had shaken her head slowly, not trusting her voice to come out steady if she was to talk.
"Maya, please, talk to me."
"You'll be mad if I tell you. I don't want you to be mad," she had pleaded with tears forming in her eyes just after the last ones had dried on her cheeks. The second Matthews made her cry that day, unbelievable.
"I'll be mad either way because my girlfriend wants to break up with me after years of waiting for this relationship, and it has barely been a week, and she doesn't want to tell me why. Of course, I think I did something," he said as calmly as he could. Maya couldn't blame him. He had every right to be upset.
"It's not you," she whispered as a tear fell.
Josh closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed deeply. "Please, don't give me that speech."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Then what do you mean?"
Maya stared at him, their breaths coming out short and frantic, their hearts beating loudly and out of tune. She hated everything about this situation.
"It's Riley."
Josh's eyes shot open and landed on hers in an instant. There was a question mark in his gaze, though Maya knew he was already putting the puzzle pieces together. If there ever was one thing keeping Maya Hunter from doing something, it was Riley Matthews. Josh knew that.
"Maya," he started with a frown. "As much as I respect your friendship with my niece, don't you think this is going a little too far?"
Maya had wanted to laugh. Only saying the name of her best friend was enough already to let it all crumble.
"She's my best friend, Josh. I would do anything for her."
It had been a weak attempt at defending her actions, but Maya couldn't help it. Not even, as Josh's look changed. He looked like she had just thrown him out of her life and, in a way, she had.
"Even at the cost of your happiness?" Josh questioned. Maya gave no response. The obvious answer was hanging in the air between them. "That's not right, Maya, and you know that."
Her eyes turned to ice. "It's my decision, isn't it?"
"Have you thought this through?" Josh took a step towards her but Maya walked backward, putting distance between them.
"I don't have to. If Riley's not comfortable with this then I have no choice but to end this," Maya reasoned and it hurt Josh to see how much she believed that lie.
"Can we please talk this out with her?"
Maya shook her head vehemently. "There's no need. She'll probably call you as soon as she gets home."
And she had. Maya threw Josh out after declaring she'd rather live in misery than stand up to her best friend. He knew Riley was the most important part of life for Maya, but that just baffled him to no extent.
He loved his niece, he truly did, but that shit was getting out of control.
He told her as much and, of course, she wasn't impressed. They hadn't talked ever since.
...
"I shouldn't have listened to her," Maya finally admitted. Her voice was full of remorse and Josh's heart ached for her.
Josh pulled Maya into his embrace and she gladly accepted the comfort he offered to give. Her arms went around his waist and she rested her head against his chest. Josh laid his head on top of hers, sighing in contentment. It felt good to have her back in his arms.
It had been just a few days since they saw each other last, but it felt like an eternity of the silent treatment right after the storm tore everything down in its waking. Josh was just happy to know it wasn't too late.
"It's not your fault," he whispered reassuringly. The scoff Maya let out shook her whole body.
Carefully, she lifted her head and looked him straight in the eyes. "But it is, isn't it?" She laughed humorlessly. "I should have just told her to fuck off the moment she told me to end this."
More tears started to stream down her face, only to be wiped away by Josh as he tenderly caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. He kissed her forehead softly before pulling her back into his arms, letting her figure out the overwhelming amount of emotions currently wrecking her system.
Josh held Maya for as long as she needed, ignoring her protests of how she didn't deserve his forgiveness so easily. He turned them down, telling her it was his decision, and that he was just glad she didn't give up on him, not fully.
"I won't give this up ever again, Boing," she told him lovingly. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying and her messy bun was giving its name a whole new meaning, but Josh wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
He looked down at her with a teasing glint in his eyes. "So you've realized that giving up everything just for the sake of your best friend isn't how it should be?"
Maya shook her head, a smile breaking through. "It isn't how it should be," she echoed. "As we were younger, I always thought I had to do everything in my power to make her happy. I wanted her to stay happy, no matter the circumstances," Maya explained, eyebrows pulling together. "I knew what it was like to feel down every day of your life, and, I guess, I didn't want her to experience it as well."
"That makes sense," Josh agreed with a firm nod. "But you all are growing up and Riley's too used to getting what she wants when she wants it. It's not your responsibility to make people around you happy, Maya. It never has been and it never will be."
She stared at him, keeping more tears at bay. "I know that now. Thanks to you I finally questioned my endless devotion to one Riley Matthews. I love that girl, but she's been different lately."
"It's only because you got something that she hasn't."
"What could I possibly have that Riley would envy? I've always wanted to have what she had, it doesn't make sense."
Josh started to smile, leaning back a little. "I think it's pretty obvious why she told you to leave me."
Maya hummed confused as she narrowed her eyes at Josh, raising one eyebrow as she tried to figure out what he meant.
He waited, but Maya only grew more confused by the second. "The fact that I'm her uncle isn't the issue here."
"It's not?" Maya asked, leaning back as well with a frown.
Josh shook his head. "Nope. Riley doesn't care about that, at least not as much as she wants you to believe she does."
"I don't understand..."
Josh licked his lips before he looked down with a brief laugh. "She hates that you got together with me, yes, but because you've kinda always had a crush on me since the day we met."
Maya's frown deepened, her mind not quite understanding what Josh meant. "She's been lashing out on Zay as well," Maya says as if remembering it just now. "He and Vanessa finally made up. I was so happy for him, he's always wanted to be with her."
Josh's lips curled up as Maya smiled fondly while mentioning her friend. He admired how she only wanted the best for everyone. Maya would never admit it, but she was a softie at heart.
"I see a pattern there."
"I don't get it," Maya sighed.
Josh tapped on Maya's nose with his pointer finger, making her giggle. "Let me guess, Zay has had a crush on her forever?"
"Hmm, according to Lucas, yes," Maya nodded thoughtfully. "Zay would never admit that though."
"You' still talking to the cowboy?" There was a glint in his eyes Maya couldn't place. His voice sounded casual, though a tad too casual. He was trying to hide something, she was sure.
"No, not since the huge fallout between him and Riley."
"Thought so," Josh said, the tension leaving his shoulders. "It's been a few months since they broke up. How has she been handling it?"
Maya laughed dryly. "Not good. I don't think she's even started to process it's over." Josh grimaced painfully, only having a vague idea of what that might look like. "You can be glad you don't have to be around her on a daily basis."
"You don't have to, either."
Maya only glared at him. "Your coffee's getting cold."
Apparently, Maya was done talking about Riley. Josh couldn't let it go just yet though. "You know," he started as he walked back to the couch, "Riley's only acting this way because she's been obsessed with the idea of the perfect romance since she first heard the tragic love story of Cory and Topanga." Maya stiffened behind his back, leaning against the wall again. "Lucas was her first crush, but it didn't work out. She had that dramatic fallout like her parents, but unlike them, Riley and Lucas didn't find a way back to each other."
"I guess," Maya mumbled.
"She's mad because Zay has liked this Vanessa for so many years, and from what I know, he has a pretty rough story, too. It took them long enough to take a chance. But they did, and it worked out." Maya nodded along with his words. "You and I have been dancing around since we were kids, as teenagers it got confusing, and now we're taking a chance, and mostly everyone is against us," Josh shrugged. "You got that whole Topanga package. The thing Riley wanted the most in life but didn't get."
Maya's eyes widened, her lips parting slightly. She has never thought of it this way. It never occurred to her that that was why Riley's been so weird. It made sense, yes, but it also didn't sound like the Riley Maya has known all her life.
"It's not about Lucas in particular," Maya thought out loud.
"It's about not getting that one true love at the first try," Josh finished for her. "To her, it seems like everyone has that except for her."
"That's why she's mad at me?"
Josh took a sip from his coffee. Its temperature had dropped significantly, but he didn't mind. "She's not mad at you, she's mad at herself."
"But why?" Maya asked, irritated. "It's not like she can control these things."
"You know my sister-in-law at least as good as I do," Josh nodded at Maya, "She kinda can control everything, or, well, she likes to believe that, at least." Maya grinned shortly. "Obviously, Riley's trying to be just like her mother. But she isn't her mother. No one is."
Maya bit down on her lower lip, deep in thought. "That's because there's only one Topanga. Riley can't be Topanga because she needs to be Riley."
"That sentence shouldn't make sense, but it does," Josh chuckled as he took another sip of his coffee. Maya smiled slightly as their eyes locked.
"Thank you, Josh."
"Yeah, whatever," he smirked at her rolling her eyes. "Now, what are you drawing?" he finally changed the subject to something Maya actually wanted to talk about.
A light ignited in her eyes upon getting the chance to talk about her passion. She grabbed Josh's hand, who almost spilled his coffee in return, and dragged him into her bedroom.
Maya loved how easy it was to slip back into the comfortable bubble she and Josh had created the moment they decided someday had finally arrived for the both of them. Everyone else who disagreed could go to hell, for all that she cared. She would never let anyone get in between her and Josh ever again, not even her best friend.
Especially not her best friend.