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It was the sun hiding beyond the horizon in addition to the calm splashing of waves that pulled Yor into the abyss.
She lost time of how long she was staring at once a symbol of hope while making the grainy sands play with her palms. If she thought that losing her parents at a young age and raising her brother, Yuri, all by herself and proposing to Loid Forger to be his fake wife to hide her identity were a challenge to her strength and emotion, she did not think that something worse or better to say, more challenging, would happen to her.
The voice of the officer who knocked on their door one bright morning rang into her ears again, causing her to close her eyes tightly in an attempt not to relive the nightmare.
She was informed that her husband, Loid Forger, the respectable psychiatrist, lost his life when a fire interrupted a medical conference he attended to. He saved lives instead of saving his own. His legacy and heroism were narrated that made the remaining Forger family members more proud of the man of nobility even though their hearts were being clenched for every beating.
In a snap of a finger, the once jolly home where Anya was watching her favorite cartoon while playing with Bond and her parents were on the couch with their respective hot drinks was replaced by mourning.
The silence was deafening when the man of the household did not go home starting that one unfateful day.
Yor tried to change the memory and cherished the treasuring ones she had of the beautiful family. It was not difficult because despite the marriage being a sham, every second spent was so worth it. Loid was always the great husband and father and at times, he looked too passionate and tensed to cover the real status of their family. For Yor, she found the tension too cute.
There was always about Loid when he was being serious and endowed towards certain topics and Yor could always, always, adored the man he was.
Besides, she already let go of the thought of a fake family when she surrendered to her own feelings since she already saw Loid as someone special and not just anyone whom she shared the roof with.
It was that special night when he asked her for a romantic dinner when Anya stayed at Becky's, as they used the space in their living room to dance to the slow music which ended the night for the both of them to reach a certain pinnacle.
A pinnacle that bore a fruit.
A pretend relationship? Maybe not anymore. . .
However, when she already dropped a secret job to be a mom and wife while keeping the job in the city hall, it was when death separated them. It was when she grew the courage of giving in to a romantic feeling that she lost the man she loved the most.
She did not tell him what she felt. He did not tell her about romance either.
Loid Forger's untimely death did not bring confusion to Yor despite not receiving the words that he felt the same way. She felt it and maybe, words were not necessary.
The setting sun and the calming waves pursued to give her the peace she needed as she wiped the tears that attempted to crawl on her cheeks. There was an aroma that danced around her nose, causing her to sneeze lightly.
She knew.
She always knew that it was something about Loid because, for whatever reason, even though he was not with them anymore, she could still feel his presence and that particular scent just proved that he was somehow with them.
How she could not feel it?
"Mama!"
Anya Forger called from afar, the tickling sand kissed her soles as well as the soles of her baby brother.
Yor painted a charming smile while watching her children walking towards her. The four-year-old baby boy was trying to walk on his own under the guidance of Anya who looked great at ten years young.
"Anya," Yor whispered as she received a quick kiss on the cheek from Anya before she acknowledged her son, "Hello, baby. How was the walk with your sister?"
She showered the boy with kisses and cherished the hug from Anya which ended up on Anya resting her head on her Mama's shoulder as they watched the sunset together. The baby behaved in Yor's arms, a child who was almost a replica of his father.
The blue eyes. . .
The blond hair. . .
Even the baby's physique, no doubt he was half of Loid even phenotypically, he was basically Loid.
As they enjoyed the beautiful lights the nature could offer, their hearts were screaming the same thing.
They definitely missed him.
As a master spy for over a decade, Twilight learned all the ways to survive and save himself. His specialty might be about disguises but he was a trained liar either and he would spill the words he never meant without sweat. Being skillful might not be enough to describe him perfectly and the countless victories from the endless missions he received just cemented his legacy in the field he did not choose for himself but learned to embrace.
Why did he pursue the job? He could not trace the origin anymore.
In his brilliant mind, it was all about peace where no children would cry because of the unresolved issues between countries. When he was able to complete a complicated mission called Operation Strix almost five years ago, it brought huge relief to him knowing that he helped to secure the peace between Westalis and Ostania.
But at what cost?
Surely, the vision was always for the better good but what he did not expect was the development of the operation during the entire process. Yes, it was all for the mission and he persuaded himself that everything he did was for the success of the mission alone.
However, when it came to Yor, Anya, and Bond, everything felt like a dream.
His childhood was not a thing he was fond of recalling but the experience he had as Loid Forger, certainly, brought him to a paradise where he was not familiar and the intimacy of being in a family embraced him with love.
But he chose to burst that lovely bubble when Operation Strix ended.
After all, the family started because of the mission that was why it was just valid and justifiable that he had to leave the character he made up the way he just vanished from the lives of the ones who truly cared for him.
It was a heartless move, it might be, but it was necessary.
In his line of job, having a family was not seen as a prerequisite to embracing the life he pursued. With all dangers that would come in his way missions upon missions, he could not afford to risk his life, knowing the consequences that it was possible that he could not come back anymore.
That was what exactly happened to Loid Forger anyway.
Maybe, it was the explanation he told himself over and over again until the fact where he threw Loid Forger away would make sense. He would be definitely a bold liar when he said that he did not want any of his life as Loid Forger because the entire universe knew that it was the life he did not know he needed until he experienced it.
The Forger Family was far from being perfect but with Yor and Anya in the picture, it was, after all, perfect.
But he needed to leave.
He left because he chose the life he thought was for the better good. He threw away the concept of having a happy and loving family just because he believed that he did not deserve any of it at all and it would be better if he would going to pursue being a spy he truly was for him to continue what he started when he was recruited to be part of WISE.
What else he could ask for?
Anya continued her studies at the prestigious Eden College and despite the crazy curse of her being hunted by Tonitrus Bolts, she had her fair share of Stella. She was doing great, he knew that even though he was not monitoring her ever since he left.
Twilight made sure that his ex-family would be taken care of and that includes that they would have a comfortable home while living the best life. Yor did not need to worry if her paycheck from working at the City Hall would be enough for her and Anya.
He gave them what they needed but no one wished for his death as payment. They might be comfortable but that did not mean that they were not longing for a certain presence.
For whatever reason, Twilight was able to vault his emotions and feelings because after all, he was a trained spy to keep that unnecessary human behavior away from his chosen job. Ever since he left the life as a Forger, he buried himself with endless missions, the most dangerous ones actually, because, in that way, he could distract himself from the most heartless thing he ever did.
It did not bother him at all to carry Anya to her bedroom whenever she fell asleep on the couch. He loved to buy her the best peanuts and stayed with her in the living room while she was enjoying Spy Wars. Even their endless arguments when it was study time were worth cherishing.
His memories with Yor, those curious and expressive red eyes could catch him off guard. Her motivation to learn more fueled him either and it was a miracle that they could fill what the other one lacks. The entire universe could act as a witness to their weird but genuine romance but Twilight seemed to be unaware of the truth or maybe, he was just blocking it because it was easier that way.
He had a vivid memory of the way he kissed her or touched her that one special night when he learned how to surrender to his own feelings but he still managed to get away from it and successfully abandoned the idea of falling in love with the woman he found strong and worthy.
Did he make the best and right choice?
Definitely. That would be his answer.
He freed his girls from the unreal world that he started. The mission called for the need of having a wife and a daughter and Twilight complied with that idea despite knowing the possible dangers it might bring. Now that the mission concerning them ended, there was no need to keep them and pull them back to danger like a moth to the flame.
It was not a matter of question about his happiness anyway. The important thing was that he was assured that the rest of the family would be in great hands once he was gone. It was a fulfilled request but he refused to see that with his own eyes because once the death of Loid Forger came to life, Twilight escaped from the painful truth.
Despite numerous questions from WISE about his decision, he chose what he originally planned. The agency would not mind losing its best spy if the man would choose himself for the first time and be with the family he learned how to love but maybe, they miscalculated. Twilight did not want to stay in the kind of life the agency wished for him to have.
Twilight would be a hypocrite if he would deny that he suffered under the decision no one forced him to do. He let himself be eaten by the duties and responsibilities that came with the job that he failed to see what mattered the most.
Yes, he had relationships again but just like before, it was all about the mission. No one made him feel what Yor did even though she was just his fake wife. In the past years, Twilight became Twilight, a cold and quiet man who was burying his emotions six feet underground. He lost his true self, the one who was craving love and care. He already found it but he dismissed it so, he was suffering from it.
He thought it would be for the better. It might be, yes, but for a miserable man, it was not a question at all.
Operation Strix was a huge mission WISE trusted to its best spy, Twilight. Dangerous, one way to put it, but he was able to complete it with flying colors however, because he pursued the job as a spy after the operation, there was this mission so far away from the City of Berlint, that injured him badly. He was asleep for days to recover from the bomb explosion that almost took his precious life.
This unfortunate accident forced WISE to give Twilight the early retirement. The agency understood that it was becoming unhealthy that even though Twilight became focused on every mission, it was just not worth it. He deserved to experience what life has to offer besides, world peace was more secure now than ever.
Because if they would not going to do it, Twilight's time would not be longer than expected.
He just healed from a broken rib and arm where he suffered under the protection of a sling and bandages. Even his head got injured but he was lucky enough to retain all the memories he had despite the concussion. Twilight was determined to risk his life for WISE and world peace but when he received the order of ending his life as a spy, he seemed not to be against it.
And, why did he just find himself taking the train back to Berlint where the Forger Family, except Loid Forger whose name was written on the tombstone, resided?
Twilight's mind was blank the entire time and he could not even answer his own question. He was one of the smartest spies but in this situation, he seemed not to have a plan to resolve it.
Maybe, he just wanted to see with his own eyes what had happened after he left. He never heard anything about them since he chose not to hear any of it. Completely heartless of him, a man undeserving of a loving family, but a glimpse might not be forbidden.
The fresh roses told him that someone just visited Loid Forger's grave. His eyes got glued on the tombstone where a name and year of birth and death were printed.
A loving husband and father, it also mentioned.
He felt the unfamiliar clenched in his heart the way his rib swelled for every breathing. This was the life he had chosen and the pain he caused was irreversible and permanent.
He sighed deeply and it was not clear if it was a hint of regret for the life he threw away.
The night was beautiful and solemn as Twilight embraced the breeze of Berlint, especially of that the Park Avenue. His feet had their own life to bring the man into the familiar place as if it was a routine for him to just walk casually in the streets of Ostania he never visited for years.
He got glued on his spot when from afar, he caught sight of her, all beautiful and smiling like the charming woman she truly was. She was walking ahead with Bond beside her since it was now time to go home after spending time in the park and having dinner afterwards.
And behind her was. . .
Anya. . . My dearest Anya.
And a little boy who looked exactly like him.
Twilight could not form any kind of words because everything was just too much to bear. He did not know that seeing them after years of him refusing to say their names would make his heart swell with pain but at the same time, affection. It was like the lost world he had been seeking and now he saw it with his own eyes, he cannot seem to accept the choices he did years ago.
What I have done?
He suddenly remembered that one special night and for sure, the protection was not able to fulfill its job because if it was successful, why there was a baby boy walking in the streets of Berlint who was half of Loid and half of Yor?
There was no question that the boy was a Forger baby.
"Mama!" He heard Anya yelled from afar, causing Yor to look back with a smile before she sat on her ankles, waiting for the cute boy to reach her.
The boy, his son, was freed by Anya to let him walk on his own to hug his Mama. The blue eyes reflected in the night and the smile was familiar.
Twilight felt the most intense heart poundings he ever felt, the ones more uncertain than the life as a spy offered to him. The emotions ate him up and even though he wanted to see the family he missed the most, he found himself in the darkest aisle since the anxiety crept to his entire spine, causing him to miss why Bond's ears twitched as Anya gaped in surprise while looking around the vicinity.
He felt the building up of tears in his eyes, a sensation he had already forgotten. Whenever he heard children crying, he could remember his childhood and how the war ruined his life. Since then, he never shed a tear.
But now. . .
A familiar breeze danced and Twilight gasped lightly when he felt a certain presence behind him but he never felt threatened. In fact, it was the peace and haven he always knew.
"Yor. . ." He whispered but the woman just stared at him blankly with glassy eyes.
His heart was pounding so loud and it reacted harder and faster when Yor took steps closer and closer to him as he could not tell what emotions he could see in her soul through her beautiful irises.
Tears threatened her eyes but she managed to remove the black cap he was wearing to somehow hide himself. The glasses were also removed, a look he slayed when they rehearsed for the school's interview. As the man with many faces, he could have done something better but did he really want to do better?
His true nature was revealed and he automatically closed his eyes when Yor caressed his cheeks in an attempt to prove that her eyes were not playing with her. She could not understand perfectly why she found herself in this complicated situation but did it matter? Was she mad at him for leaving by making them believe that Loid Forger was dead but here he was, standing in front of her right now, wearing the same face she craved to stare at?
Loid Forger might not be real but he was her Loid.
Tears fell from her eyes and with it, she removed her palms from his cheeks as if she got burned by the skin she lost years ago. She was scared, uncertain to say the least, but one thing was for sure, her heart did not beat for someone else.
What he did is unforgiving and he understood the possible consequences of his actions and decisions.
Yor held herself not to use so much strength and even though Twilight expected it, he still got swayed when she slapped him, leaving a red print on his cheek. Deserving was just one word for it but before he could even react, he already felt her warmest hug followed by several tears that made her eyes act like a waterfall.
Twilight gave in to the hug either, his arms wrapped around her figure as he snuggled on her hair and her neck, making sure that he was really hugging the woman who made her feel the emotions he thought he did not have.
"Don't leave us again." She whispered in between the expressive cries while pulling him closer and closer. "I don't know what you did or how and why you did it but," Her voice cracked, causing her not to finish her thoughts because her tears burst.
He surrendered to the emotion he was trying to block and when he felt his own tears running down his cheeks, he sobbed, "I'm so sorry. . . I'm sorry."
For Yor, it might be a normal night and even though she had already given up the life as an assassin, her sensitive senses did not completely shut down especially now that she has kids she needed to love and protect alone.
Earlier, she felt that something was happening around and her instincts were correct when she found Twilight who was not trying to hide himself completely in the darkness. There were so many questions and she hoped, he would not leave her to be alone again.
It was a riddle, but actually, it was not that a riddle where the numerous lovemarks painted on their skins that special night made a miracle and in between her mourning when she lost her husband, she also suffered from morning sickness until she received a confirmation that she was, indeed, pregnant with Loid's— Twilight's baby.
If he learned about it sooner, would he leave?
For some, it did not matter anymore because clearly, Yor, Anya, and Bond were not enough reasons for him to stay so the addition of a baby? It would not change a thing either.
However, the genuine tears he had that Yor was able to wipe on his behalf expressed the regret and the mixture of emotions he was trying to block but he was unsuccessful in hiding it. She claimed his lips that he returned, the lovely plumps softened the heart either. Her hand crept to his hair as she cherished his kisses on her neck and jawline before it returned to her lips.
No doubt, he was really her Loid Forger.
Words were not expressed and when Yor hugged him again, he returned to the past, the child who was crying in despair in the middle of the ruins caused by the war but this time, he fought his own war.
"I'm sorry. . ." He muttered numerous times but Yor remained comforting the lost man.
His real name was mumbled with love, a sign that she accepted all of him despite what the past narrated the way he accepted the real her either. The truth would bind them together and their real identities would be embraced.
She guided him to wear the disguise once more and when she received the answer that mattered the most, another set of tears fell from his eyes when he was able to hug his daughter, Anya, a thought he did not know would happen again.
Then, it was another emotional and sentimental moment when, for the very first time, he held baby Twilight in his arms.
He, indeed, found his way back home.