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Usually, Edward loved puzzles. They gave his life meaning and his frantic mind something tangible to control. However the current conundrum tormenting him was something he was at a loss to figure out. It gnawed at him day and night like a rat nibbling on rotting flesh in a dumpster. Never leaving him, always at the front of his consciousness. Digging into his cerebrum until every ridge was decorated in the bright crimson slashes of your name.
Slamming his head on the cheap dining room table he let out a low groan and laid there, eyes shut painfully tight for several seconds. Lifting his head once more Edward tilted his thin glasses up to rub his hands over his beleaguered face. Pressing harshly into his eyes until his vision started to turn green and static shapes formed where his palms had pressed themselves into his retinas. Removing a hand from his eye he ran it through his shaggy brown hair and sighed once again. Turning his attention back to the simple Tupperware container that rested on his messy kitchen counter. He glowered at the container, willing it to combust with his mind and free him from its torment. Alas, it did no such thing and all he was left with was a feeling of molten rage in his chest and the minute flutterings of his stony heart as he continued to stare.
He scoffed and thought about how naïve you were. So sweet and innocent. Unprepared for the harsh realities of Gotham. Sooner or later the hellish city would wring every last drop of humanity from your pretty little throat. His mind then wandered without his control to the idea of how the delicate flesh that rested on said throat would feel as he wrapped his fingers over it. As his chapped lips would nibble and suck and taste the exquisite skin that resided there. Shuddering harshly he was ripped from his imagination by a feeling of indignation and hatred for you. Such a worthless distraction and yet, he really couldn’t muster the strength to fully push you out of his mind. Letting out a groaning whine he shot up from the table and slammed his seat back into it with enough force he was sure he had chipped the cheap paint.
Edward felt a wicked sense of glee from having taken his aggression out on something, anything and he once again raised his eyes to look at the container. Stalking over to his counter, his long limbs swiftly brought him to his destination. He snatched the container from the counter with his long fingers and flipped the tub to once more stare at the contents. As his deep green eyes gazed he was met, once more with the sight of a simple package of homemade chocolate chip cookies. Logically, he knew they weren’t anything special. Incredibly cheap to make and requiring little to no talent in baking. A childish treat that came with the immature desire for companionship. Still, the idea that someone had taken the time to make something, especially for him was an intoxicating one. The thought caused warmth to bloom through his chest and his cherubic cheeks to be dusted with a pinkish color.
Violently shaking his head Edward slammed the container onto the counter and reeled back as if he had been burned. Nearly tripping over his considerably full garbage can, he sunk to the floor knees pressed firmly into his hammering chest and wrenched his hands into his hair. He had to get control over himself or everything he had been planning would fall to ruin. Gritting his teeth as his mind seethed with rage and felt a destructive wave of hated flood over him as he thought of you. What in the name of god was to be gained by being so disgustingly sweet all the time? The first meeting with his confusing neighbor flashed in his memories.
It had been a miserably early morning, one which Edward had greeted with a frustrated groan. His ability to sleep soundly was often an elusive one. The past evening being the key example. He had been up late tinkering with one of his contraptions and was in a call with a few friends. This at stretched long into the night, even though his eyes had ached and his body begged for sleep, his mind refused him the relief it would bring as he tossed and turned wracked by nightmares that could be confused with memories from his time at the Orphanage. Dragging his weary head from the pillow he squinted at his alarm clock.
The neon numbers flashed a blurry 5:07 AM at him and once more Edward groaned. He was going to be running on two hours of sleep and a disgusting amount of coffee. “Just perfect.” He thought bitterly as he ran a hand through his wicked beahead and reached for his glasses. Beginning to stand, Edward stretched upwards and felt the tendons of his spine groan as he pushed himself up. “Time to face the day.” He said bitterly to the empty mess that was his apartment. He dragged himself to the kitchen and began to brew a pot of coffee. Stumbling around blindly, sleep still fogging his vision Edward found his bag of coffee grounds and loaded them into the paper liner at the top of the machine. Resting against the counter he slowly let his eyes droop once more, sleep pulling at him like the beckoning call of a siren.
He had been snoozing for a few seconds when the dull, buzzing whine of the coffee maker woke him. Bitterly returning to the morning Edward turned off the alarm and found his D20 mug. Filling the large trough of the mug, he then turned around to the fridge and rummaged for the creamer. Finally taking hold of his pumpkin pie creamer and pouring the watered down mixture into his coffee. He then blew on the beverage and took a sip, promptly burning his tongue. “Arugh” he shouted, trying to put water on the burn but all that came out of the tap was the signature black sludge of the Gotham water-supply. Trying, miserably to suppress his screech of rage, Edward was seriously debating just calling in sick and heading back to bed. The thought was intriguing, almost ready to call out he received a text from his supervisor.
“Hey Eddie, just wanted to remind you that we have a presentation today! :)
Did you finish those spreadsheets I asked for? :)”
“Ur th3 b3zt :3”
Groaning, Edward felt the beginnings of a migraine settle into his temples. Today was going to be a long and arduous day. He took another forceful sip of coffee and made himself some breakfast. Picking at his bowl of Bran Flakes with a grimace and opened his message app and sent a quick text of:
“Affirmative.”
Short and the the point. Finishing his sad bowl of wet cardboard he set about throwing his dish and mug into his sink, a problem to worry about later. Checking the time his watch read “6:00” and he sighed through his nose. He needed to be out the door by 6:45 or he’d miss his train. Time enough for a quick shower.
Begrudgingly leaving his apartment Edward walked mindlessly down the hall until he ran right smack into a sentient pile of boxes. “Oh shit! I’m sorry, I couldn’t see where I was going and I ran right into you. An overly chipper voice chirped out. Edward rubbed the spot where he had bumped into the boxes and sighed. “It’s fine, I’ll just get out of your way.” He grumbled as he stepped to the side. Finally taking view of the person who was piloting the stack of boxes. Looking at them he felt the air knocked from his lungs once more and his heart stutter. They were cute.. wearing little more than a simple T-shirt and a pair of bluejean shorts he was itching to push further up their delicious thighs. A disgustingly red blush was covering his cheeks as he felt himself begin to panic. He had to get away from them or his whole day was going to be over before it even started. He began to speed walk away head turned down to try and control his blush. Before your melodic voice called out to him once more.
“Hey! I didn’t catch your name, please wait!
You had pleaded with him ever so sweetly and the tone in your voice had him wanting to throw himself at your feet and promise the world. He stopped and slowly turned around, clutching his briefcase like a shield in front of himself. A look of sheer panic coating his boyish features. As you came back into frame chest huffing from the sprint you had to undertake to catch up with his long limbs.
“Wooh! You’re so fast! You giggled the sound settling into his memories like sticky sweet honey. Still huffing and puffing and hands on knees, you finally looked up and flashed him a radiant smile. “Hi! I’m ____ nice to meet you.” You said finally righting yourself and throwing your hand out to him in offer of a handshake.
Edward was greatly taken aback by your cheery disposition along with,the inane desire to speak to him. He prided himself on his ability to blend into the background and wasn’t exactly thrilled his already miserable morning was being interrupted with your babbling. All he wanted was to quickly get out of his building, get to work with little to no incident, complete the presentation, let his moronic boss take all the credit for his findings and work on the spreadsheets as well as the PowerPoint. Finally, slink back to his desk and then come home and mindlessly scroll on his phone until he was taken by the fruitless dregs of sleep.
He however, lowed the briefcase into his left hand and slowly extended his right into your waiting embrace. Trying desperately to hold back a moan at the softness of your hand you shook his firmly. Like you were determined to make a good impression on handshake alone. “They’re definitely not from Gotham” he mused “Too chipper, too open, just inviting trouble.” He thought darkly. Breaking himself of his thoughts he quickly remembered you expected a response and not for him to just grope at the silky flesh of your hand. “My name is Edward, Edward Nashton.” He said simply, trying to limit the emotions that were garbled up in his chest. Feeling disappointment as you pulled your hand out of his, he then felt it fizzle out as your sweet voice returned and said “Nice to meet you Edward, looks like we’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other. Huh?” The words floated up to his ears like an Angel ascending to Heaven.
“Yeah?” He squeaked out and his mind shouted at him “Smooth Eddie, real smooth. Why don’t you just blow your load over the handshake and really show them how cool you are.”
“I hope so at least! We are neighbors after all.” You said with another sparkling smile.
“Oh that was it. He mused. You were trying to be polite.” Disappointment burned in his chest as he returned to Earth.
“We’ll see.” He said bluntly as he turned around and began to head for the stairs. “Okay! I hope so!” You called after him and he had an incredibly hard time not turning around to look back. “Have a good day! You rang out as he disappeared down the stairs.”
Edward shoved himself out of his memories with a pathetic whine. You had to know what you did to him! He knew you were a succubi sent straight from hell to torment him and distract him from his righteous path! Groaning once more as his perverted mind flashed with an image of you in full demonic regalia beckoning him to your bedside with a suggestive curl of your finger. He was going to lose it if he kept that up! But God, what a way to go… babbling your name like a prayer as his already fragile mind split in two.
Slapping his rounded cheeks in an effort to bring himself back to reality. Edward fumed inside and slammed his head back into the wall with a sharp wail of pain. If only he could just wrap his long fingers around the column of your throat and squeeze until your sparkly little doe eyes were drained of every, last bit of life. Then and only then, would he be at peace once more. Free to undertake his plans without your face popping into his mind while trying to take notes in his ledgers, or the way the shape of your sculpted behind bouncing up and down the stairs would flash as he was ranting to his followers of the disgusting corruption that plagued Gotham.
Most embarrassing of all was the night a few days ago when he was in a call with his discord friends. Raving about how annoying you were and they had derided him as a simp. He had tried to argue that you were more an annoying distraction but they wouldn’t listen! Micheal had insisted he was hopelessly gone and he should just go over there and offer himself up to them as a treat.” That had caused Edward to storm out of the call and sulk for the rest of the night. He hated himself for not finding the concept totally degrading the more he thought about it.
He needed to get rid of you, or at the very least make you leave him alone so he could detox your poison from his system. He pondered on how exactly to do it… He couldn’t kill you, that really wasn’t warranted. After all, your only crime was distracting him and The Riddler did not punish innocents. Even the cloyingly chipper ones that haunted his every waking moment and some of the ones when he wasn’t awake.
Still, how was he to do it. Lost in thought Edward swiped his deep green eyes up for a split second until his vision landed on the container of cookies. A disgustingly wicked grin covered his rounded features and he began to snicker. “Yes! Of course, it was so simple really!” You had so foolishly gifted him with the key to breaking the spell that bound him to you.
As snickers broke into giggles, and giggles melted into maniacal laughter; Edward once more seized the box of cookies. He saw his plan so clearly! He was going to have one of your cookies, finding it absolutely repulsive and storm over to your apartment and deride your baking skills. He knew you would open the door, so innocently excited to see him. He would get the great pleasure of watching your face fall as he ripped you apart, tearing every bit of good will from your soul and finally banishing you from his world. It was a perfect plan, simple yet foolproof, nothing would stop him from enacting it! Not even if you cried and sobbed at him, pretty eyes shining through your large, blubbering tears. You would beg “Oh please Eddie stop! I can’t take this.” Through broken sobs and he wouldn’t ever stop, not until your heart was throughly shattered on the dingy floor.
He smugly smiled and popped the top off the Tupperware container, the buttery smell of the still slightly warm cookies hit his nose. His mouth began to salivate, but no! He had to strengthen his resolve if he was to be freed. Even if the treat before him was amazing, he was determined to scare you away. The cookies before him were perfectly golden brown, the chips strewn throughout the batter were gooey and melted in an incredibly tantalizing way. They were crisp, but not overly so. The middles remaining soft and faintly gooey from the mass of chocolate in the dough. Edward felt a twinge of disappointment at how nicely made the cookies appeared and he comforted himself with the thought that looks were deceiving. He had baked goods before that seemed to be beautifully made confections, but in reality we’re bland examples of style over substance. Surely these cookies would be the same?
He once more settled himself at his dining room table, ignoring the way both the chair and table groaned after his abuse of it. Settling the container down and retrieving a napkin for the cookie he tentatively reached a hand into the box like he was afraid the cookies would turn around and bite him instead. Finally selecting one he brought it up slowly to his eyes and inspected his treat. Glaring at the baked good as he chewed the inside of his cheek, he raised his other hand to rest his cheek on and thought once more about how simple and boring a chocolate chip cookie was, how could he be scared of something like that? He was the Riddler for Christ’s sake!
Bringing the treat to his pink lips, Edward ran his tongue over them and let out a shaky exhale before finally opening his mouth and taking a a tentative bite. He chewed thoughtfully for a second before his senses were rocked with the overwhelming taste of the cookie. Letting out a muffled moan he felt his eyes roll back into his skull as he swallowed the bite of cookie. “Fuck.” He thought breathlessly as opened his eyes and took another bite of cookie. Once more he was overwhelmed with the scrumptious flavors it offered him. His plan was beginning to dissolve and he couldn’t even bring himself to care!
Finishing the cookie with a deeply satisfied moan, Edward knew he was a goner. Fully ensnared by your lovingly crafted web. He could die a happy man if you were the one to orchestrate his demise! Looking down at the box of cookies he felt a delirious bubble of affection burst in his chest, floating it’s way out his throat taking form as a lovestruck giggle. He wiped his hands on the napkin and once more brought his fists to rest on his cherubic cheeks. How had he gotten so lucky to have you move in next to him? His own personal angel, sent to reward him for all his suffering and pain! He sighed tenderly and he knew if he looked in the mirror right now his emerald green eyes would be swirling with hearts like some kind of a cartoon character.
He desperately wanted to rush to your side and proclaim his everlasting love, promising to never leave you and to always do whatever it took to make you happy. He was your shining knight in armor! Ready and willing to serve as your champion. He was ready and willing to serve you period. As the tips of his ears flushed a bright, ruby red. He got up from the table dizzily, Wondering vaguely if you had put some kind of love potion into the cookies. But no, you were too sweet for that sort of thing! He giggled boyishly as he sunk back onto his old couch and thought about your beautiful face. He shut his eyes and could almost feel your perfect, plush lips pressing kisses to his feverish skin. He deliriously sighed once more and lazily placed his hand over his rapidly beating heart and let the other one dangle off the couch.
Edward was defeated, you triumphed over him. Finally winning his heart and soul. If you’d let him, he would dedicate everyday into making Gotham a city worthy of your presence. Like Aphrodite blessing Pygmalion with the skill to sculpt his perfect Galatea, Edward would burn the wretched city to the ground and reconstruct it entirely in your image. He’d worship you like a god, happy to simply sit at your feet like a pet as you ruled over the reborn Gotham. He shuddered in delight at the thought and knew that you would see things the way he did. Your innocence wasn’t a weakness as he had so foolishly thought such a short time ago. Laughing at himself for his blindness, he knew now that it was your strength, a magical power that had the ability to cleanse anything and anyone! Through your simple confection you had baptized him into the truth. Truly a holy being sent to show him the way, he sighed giddily and thought on how best to woo you. Would you appreciate a simple approach? Roses, dinner, dancing, kiss under the moonlight? He could probably take you somewhere nice.
He didn’t really know anywhere nice to eat… he thought reluctantly. Ah, but that was a problem easily solved and he couldn’t let it get in the way of his true love! Maybe you’d like it better if he took the direct approach, waiting for you to leave your apartment, sneak in and then delicately gift wrapping himself, waiting ever so eagerly in your bed. He could place a ribbon around his throat that led to a tag dedicating his entire being to you. Maybe, while he wriggled around your sheets in excitement under your watchful gaze you would lean down and say in your melodic voice. “Well isn’t this a wonderful surprise…” trailing your perfectly soft hand over his cheeks, allowing him to press a devoted kiss to your palm.
That last vision left his head spinning and he smiled wider feeling a delicious twinge in his neither regions. His face blushed ferociously as he shoved the blossoming feelings of arousal down and resolved himself to focus on how to best work out his freshly released delirium. He was then harshly reminded by his mind that you could of course just be teasing him. Thinking it funny to watch him wind himself up over you before dashing his hopes to smithereens. It had happened before and Edward shuddered at the memory. He had been so hopelessly embarrassed by that girl, she raised his hopes cruelly, playing along and acting so sweetly as she whispered poison into his eagerly awaiting ears. She had orchestrated the entire thing as some sort of sick joke, posting it online to spread his shame far and wide. Even though he had taken the videos down and properly gotten revenge on the girl and her cronies he was sure the video was still out there. Floating around the internet forever proudly showing off his humiliation.
Shaking his head violently Edward tried desperately to rid himself of the traumatic memory. You wouldn’t ever do that to him. He thought sadly. You were too kind, too sweet, too warm, too perfect. Too everything he had ever dreamed! He knew you were destined to be together and nothing was going to stop him from having you in same way you had possessed him. He giggled manically and mused “The best part of getting a prize after all, was retrieving it.”