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Rossi just wants Hotch to be happy.
He thinks at first that this is a normal instinct, and that he's being a good person, for once.
When on lonely nights the first person he's always calling is Aaron, he tells himself it's because it's his best friend. It feels like he could always have more of Aaron in his life.
Then one day, it hits him. They're standing in the parking lot after returning home from a case. Everyone else has scattered, but the two of them are still standing behind Aaron's SUV. David says something about how Aaron really brought the team together during this case, and his face just lights up. David barely sees smiles that from Aaron, and this one hits him hard. It's like his heart expands, blooms, and his body feels light and relaxed for a second. Aaron's just smiling at him, but it feels like he's looking into the sun.
With a deep breath David comes down; Aaron's thanking him for the compliment.
"No problem," David says, trying to smile normally, "I better get going, I have a book to suffer through."
He takes off before Aaron can even say goodbye, and drives like hell to get home. Soon as he pulls into his driveway he immediately pulls back out and gets back on the road. He drives for hours. Quietly, his little world comes to a slight collapse around him. He has some feelings for Aaron. Some very big, serious feelings. All he wants right now is to turn to him. Aaron's his best friend, but he wants to wake up in the morning with him, take Jack to soccer games together, and face this ugly world with each other's support. He pulls over when it's starting to feel like a bad idea to drive.
That's what it comes down to. He wants his and Aaron's world to be the same. Closely overlapping, safe and happy. David groans quietly and slides down in his chair a bit. He undoes his seatbelt and allows for an even more unhappy slump. Wishing for someone to call, he takes out his phone and scrolls through the contacts, but really the first person he turns to with problems is Aaron. A few more minutes of scrolling land him on Emily. He hesitates, and then calls her.
"Rossi? Is something wrong? Is Hotch okay?" Emily asks upon picking up.
David winces at her assumption. That face that they're so close is only stinging him more, it just means he has more to lose with Aaron.
"Everything is fine, I'm sorry I didn't mean to dial your number. Meant for it to be my sister." He lies quickly.
"Oh, okay," Emily says uncertainly.
"Sorry for bothering you, talk to you later Emily." Rossi hangs up quickly, and doesn't pause before scrolling through his numbers again. He stops at one, and although it doesn't make any sense, he hits 'Call'. Maybe boy wonder will be able to make some sense of this.
"Reid?" He says when the kid answers, "Can we meet for coffee? Nothing's wrong, I just need somebody to talk to."
Spencer agrees immediately, assuring David that he was feeling stuck with the paper he was writing anyhow.
They meet at a quiet little coffee shop where David always feels pleasantly ignored by other customers. Once they've both ordered they sit down at a table near the back.
"So, what's troubling you?" Spencer asks carefully once they've sat down.
"Look, I know it's weird that I called you, but I just needed someone who could be upfront and not ask too many questions," David explains.
Spencer smiles over the rim of his mug, "When have I ever not asked questions?"
"You don't meddle, you don't need to know the personal details of everyone else's life; I honestly believe you don't have the curiosity for it."
Spencer raises his eyebrows in response, but nods and lets David start talking.
"Lately, I've been having feelings, romantic feelings, for someone who is very much not my usual type."
"How are they not your usual type?" Spencer inquires.
"Everything about them," David says firmly, giving Spencer a look that suggests it's best not to push that question too much further.
"Okay...and what exactly are you wondering?"
"If it's even possible. Does that make sense? Does it seem possible that a person could just completely fall in love with someone completely unlike anyone they've ever fallen in love with before?" David catches himself being a little dramatic at the end. He blames the Italian in him.
There's a slight shift in Reid's expression when David says 'fallen in love', but he mostly keeps his expression neutral and calm. "Normally, a person's desires are largely influenced by society, their environment, and the culture in which they were raised. Most people don't realise this, but it's true. After a period of time a person could begin to distance themselves from these expectations, and fall for someone very different from anyone they've ever been with before," Reid pauses here and looks at David, "This would especially be true if the person was someone that they might've felt ashamed about loving in the past."
Rossi stares back at Reid, keeping his expression still and not letting it crack. "Thanks Spencer."
Reid snaps out of his and looks down at his drink. "Anytime. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
"No, that was everything. I should probably get going, I have a book I'm supposed to be writing." David starts to gather up his things, putting on his coat and scarf.
Just as he's picking his coffee up Spencer grabs his attention one more time. "Rossi?"
"Yes?"
"You're scared about letting yourself love this person, correct?"
David nods uncomfortably.
"You feel like there's no chance they return your feelings?" Spencer asks. His voice sounds younger, almost lost.
"Yep, that's the feeling."
He tilts his head a little and looks up at David. "Is it still worth it?" Spencer asks, "Do you think it's still worth it to feel this way?"
Immediately David notices the way Spencer phrased the sentence. 'This' instead of 'that', taking possession of the sentence. Spencer is having the same problem David is.
"Honestly kid, right now it feels like I should just keep my mouth shut," David tells him, then turns and walks out the door. He doesn't want to see the look of disappointment on Spencer's face. It's a look he's seen far too many times.
A few days later at work he's walking through one of the quieter halls, holding paperwork he really wants to ditch somewhere, when suddenly Prentiss comes up next to him.
"Hey, is everything okay with you?" she asks.
Rossi gives her a look. "Why would everything not be okay with me?"
"I don't know," she says in her most soothing tone, "You just seem to be acting a little differently lately."
"I have not been in the least."
It's at the moment that they round the corner and almost run into Garcia, who unfortunately, overheard.
"Something's wrong with you?" She asks David in concern.
"Nothing is wrong!" David says, a bit too loudly.
Emily and Garcia share a look.
"He's avoiding the question," Garcia notes.
"We'll make a profiler out of you yet," he shoots back.
Garcia makes a face at that and Emily tries to keep the peace. "Look, Rossi, I'm just worried about you after everything with Caroline-"
David interrupts her, "The kid spilled, didn't he?"
She looks vaguely guilty. "He was worried about you. To him it seemed like you were rejecting yourself before you even confronted this person. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
They're both standing there, wearing their most concerned looks with big eyes and welcoming posture. He knows they're trying to get him to trust them, and it works. He's sick of his secret already anyhow.
"It's never been like this before," he admits.
"Let's get lunch and talk about it?" Penelope suggests.
He caves. "Fine, we can talk, but we are not getting our nails done afterwards."
Emily brushes off his comment as she walks by him, "You'd love getting your nails done Rossi, it's very relaxing."
Penelope giggles and follows after her, motioning David to join.
They get lunch, and they spend nearly an hour talking. David's not sure why he didn't just talk to Emily in the first place. Penelope's wonderful as well, and when they finally drag a name out of him, they're barely surprised.
"Honestly, you two are a little married," Emily tells him.
"More than a little married," Penelope corrects.
"The leader of the team tends to have a close relationship with someone else," David says, trying to defend himself.
"But..." Penelope grabs a breadstick, twirling between her fingers thoughtfully, "It was never the same way with Gideon and Hotch."
Rossi bristles a little at the mention of Jason Gideon and it doesn't go unnoticed by Emily. "You support each other way more; you've helped Aaron through so much," she insists.
"That doesn't mean this isn't crazy. That doesn't mean I'm just going to have to sit on this secret until my head explodes."
"You could tell him," the girls say in perfect sync. All three of them share a laugh.
"Please, be realistic here," he says when they quiet, "It wouldn't be fair to put Aaron in such an uncomfortable position."
Penelope looks nervously at Emily before she asks, "Do you think there's a chance that he feels the same way you do?"
Looking at the bottom of his glass David sighs, "I don't see why there would be. To him I'm a nice heterosexual friend. I doubt he could ever possibly think of me in a way other than that."
Emily and Penelope don't fight him on that one. Despite their closeness, it does seem unrealistic that Agent Hotchner would have feelings for David. One middle age man having a sexuality crisis and falling head over heels for his best friend seems unlikely enough, two seems impossible.
Lunch finishes on a quiet note, and for the rest of the day they three keep their distance, each quietly thinking on their own. When Aaron comes into his office and David feels his heart beginning to pound, he worries that he'll have to quit this job just to save his mind. This is going to hurt too much. If he can't have all of Aaron, it's going to be terrible to be tormented by the idea every day.
At the end of the day he walks into Aaron's office.
"I need some time off. Maybe indefinitely. I might to step down from my position."
Aaron looks at him in concern. "Come in, sit down."
Reluctantly David walks fully into Aaron's office, shutting the door behind him, and sits. He should've known better than to think he could've quit his job standing in Aaron's doorway.
"What's this about?" Aaron asks.
'You' Rossi wants to say. He restrains himself. None of this is Aaron's fault anyways.
"It's the book. The publisher won't get off my back, and I feel like every time I get into writing it we get called away for a case," David lies. He's an excellent liar, but Aaron is an excellent profiler.
"You always told me that this job was more important to you than being an author," Aaron counters. He sounds a bit hurt.
"The stress is really getting to me, I just need some time," David says in reply, dodging the implied question. He know it doesn't go unnoticed by Aaron.
Aaron leans back in his chair. "Well if you think you need some time off, by all means take it off. I think you should do that before we talk about you quitting."
Rossi doesn't have the heart to tell him that a week of time off won't change his mind, he just accepts what he can get for now. "Great, that sounds like a good start. Can I start my week tomorrow?"
That surprises Aaron, Rossi can tell. "If you think that it is necessary, of course. Your health is a priority."
"Thank you Aaron." With that David gets up and leaves. He can tell Aaron is about to say something else, but he's already out of the office.
The week away from work does him a little good, but his mind is still wrapped up in Aaron. He does actually work on his book, but he gets sidetracked writing about the fearless team leader he so admires, Agent Hotchner. He tries gardening for the first time in a while, but it reminds him too much of coaching Jack's soccer team with Aaron, being together every day outside in the rain or sunshine. Lastly, he turns to cooking, his one great comfort. When he's cooked an elaborate meal, it feels like a kick to the gut when he sits down and realizes he's cooked a meal that's tailored to Aaron's tastes. He's haunting him now.
Over the course of his first five days off from work it becomes very clear to David that the best chance he's got at getting over Aaron will be staying away for good. He dreads the thought of losing the only family he has left, but he has to leave before he gets hurt again.
And on the sixth night, his ghost shows up at his front door.
"What are you doing here?" David asks, his tone a bit hostile after finding Aaron on his doorstep. He's cornered at his own house.
Aaron smiles. "Hello to you too. May I come in?"
Trying to compose himself, David opens the door wider. "I'm sorry Aaron, of course you can come in."
Aaron walks in, a grin still on his face, like something he can't keep hidden. "How's the week off?"
David shrugs. "Doesn't feel like enough," he says truthfully, "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to check up on you. You left so suddenly that myself and the team were a bit concerned. May I sit?"
"Of course, of course." They both sit down in David's living room, on opposite pieces of cushy furniture.
"Can I get you a drink?" David asks politely. A drunk Aaron might be more likely to accept his resignation.
"That would be great," Aaron says in an equally polite tone.
When David gets up to get Aaron a drink, Aaron inexplicably follows. They end up in the kitchen together while David hunts for his strongest brandy for the occasion. The way Aaron's hovering strikes him as odd; it's like he doesn't want to leave David alone.
"So, the team's got their feathers ruffled over me?" David asks.
"Well, you know after Gideon, they always worry. None of them want to lose a team member again. You remember what it was like when JJ took the job at the Pentagon," Aaron says casually, but the mention of Gideon has to be a strategic move. Aaron never brings him up.
David's shoulders tense, and he grabs a second glass, pouring himself a glass next to Aaron's. He passes Aaron's to him, then drinks half his glass in one gulp.
"Are you trying to guilt me into staying, Agent Hotchner?" David asks.
He responds immediately, "I would do whatever it would take to make you stay David."
They're standing in David's kitchen staring each other down. Aaron is bright, burning with some kind of energy David can't place, while David's trying to pull into the shadows and fade away. He doesn't want confrontation over this; he just wants to get away from it all.
David recovers slightly to jest back, "You have an excellent team Aaron, and you'll do fine without me."
Aaron moves just a step closer, setting his brandy on the counter. "We have an excellent team that you are an indispensable part of. If I really believed you were too stressed, or couldn't handle it anymore, I would let you walk away, but I know that's not the case."
The tension in the room is beginning to rise, and David is starting to feel trapped. "How do you know that's not the case?"
Aaron smiles. "Because I'm very good at what I do."
"I always thought modesty was a sign of weakness," David says, half to himself. Aaron's grin only grows. He knows he's got him, he knows there's something David is trying to avoid, and Aaron has spent his whole life finding out things people wanted to keep a secret.
Knowing he has the upper hand, Aaron keeps going. "Emily and Penelope are especially worried about you I think," he says casually.
Panic alarms go off in David's head, but he keeps his poker face. "And why do you think that?"
"Something, I'm not sure what, drove them to come tell me that I needed to talk you. They said that you and me needed to have a chat. According to them they never thought....whatever the problem is, would cause you to run away."
Silently David thinks of the verbal lashing Prentiss and Garcia will be receiving from him.
Quieter, Aaron moves closer to David. "What did I do? If I made you mad or offended you in some way, I want to make it up to you."
David tries to pull back, but he hits the fridge. "It's nothing you did, Aaron. What did the girls tell you?"
At that Aaron hesitates and David feels the floor fall out from underneath him. Prentiss and Garcia told him the truth, Aaron just doesn't want to believe it. Aaron knows. Nothing will ever be the same.
"They told you how I feel, didn't they?" David asks grimly.
Aaron looks guilty when he nods. "They didn't want to, but Garcia let it slip. You know how she can be when she gets overexcited."
David nods, his back pressed against the cold fridge. He wishes he could melt into it or the floor, where his gaze is locked.
"David," Aaron says. His voice is deep, calm, close.
David looks up and finds Aaron much closer than before. He doesn't trust himself to speak, so he just stares.
"I had a crush on you almost instantly the first time I met you," Aaron says softly with a little laugh, "But I didn't pursue it because I was young, and scared, and involved with someone." David's heart rate climbs considerably.
"And now," Aaron continues, "You're my best friend, and I never even dared to let myself think of you in any other way. Truth is, you're the strongest, kindest, smartest, most wonderful person I've ever met. I would be-" he seems to lose his nerve for a moment before he reaches out to take Rossi's hand, the touch sending a slight jump through David's body, "I would be very happy if I was lucky enough to just go on a date with you."
David lets his head fall back against the fridge, staring at Aaron. Their hands are tightly pressed together. David never wants to let go. This feels like the most amazing dream. Finally, he speaks.
"I'm going to do so much more to you than take you on a date."
Aaron grins, that big beautiful grin that gets David weak in the knees again.
"Please," David says, putting his other hand on the back of Aaron's neck, "Please let me kiss you."
"I'm going to beat you to it," Aaron says, and then leans in and presses their lips together. It feels like absolute bliss; it's new, but somehow feels like coming home. Their bodies move closer together, searching for heat.
When Aaron pulls back he keeps his face close. "Kissing boys isn't so bad, hey Rossi?"
"Not too bad at all," David teases back, "What about you, did the moustache scare you off?"
Aaron's eyes twinkle mischievously, "You're not the first man I've kissed David."
"Oh really now? You've been holding out on me?"
Aaron laughs at that, and they kiss again. David never wants to stop.
"What are we going to tell the team?" David asks when they pull apart. They are his family, he wants to be accepted by them.
"I believe they will be overjoyed to hear that 'Mom and Dad' finally got their act together," Aaron replies.
"We could spend my last day off here, in my big empty mansion, before we have to return to face the crowds," David suggests.
"Don't tempt me," Aaron says, and leans in to kiss his new significant other one more time.
When they do return to work, they decide it's best not to keep secrets. David's absence combined with how him and Aaron are both practically glowing will be too suspicious. And at this point the team gets quite, understandably, upset when they are lied to.
Aaron rounds them up into the meeting room, and closes the door. "Me and David have something important to discuss with you," he says seriously.
Garcia and Prentis exchange looks, Reid looks nervous.
They stand together at the front of the room. David himself feels almost nauseous looking at their faces.
"David and I have been friends for a very long time. For many years we have been very close friends, and last night we discovered that our relationship had grown in an unexpected way. It is my opinion that you should embrace happiness in this life, especially in our line of work. That is why, last night David and I decided that we should be together. Romantically. It is the happiest choice I have made in a very long time." At this point Aaron reaches out and takes David's hand. The room looks visibly shocked.
"That's right guys, I'm banging the boss," David croons, breaking the tension in the room. Everyone breaks out laughing and Aaron gives him a look of both contempt and affection.
"I for one am glad," Reid says, smiling at the two of them.
"No more having to deal with the tension between the two of you," Morgan adds.
"I'm so happy for the two of you!" Garcia squeals.
"This will not change anything about the work," Aaron says sternly, "David and I are to be treated exactly the same as before. Any teasing will not be tolerated." He relaxes a little and turns to look at David. "But yes, I'm very happy for us too."
"We wanted to tell you, because you guys are family," David tells them, "I can't imagine my life without any of you, and I'm so grateful that my existence turned to be this wonderful."
At that everyone smiles, looking at each other warmly and then back at their leaders.
"That, and it's hard to keep something like this from profilers," he jokes. Everyone laughs again.
"You're dismissed, thank you for your times," Aaron says. He slowly drops David's hand, and they return to being Hotch and Rossi. As everyone files out they all smile and say a last note of congratulations.
Aaron and David walk back to Aaron's office, just because Aaron wants David to tear up the resignation letter he had half composed.
"May I ask you something?" Aaron asks, closing the door behind them.
"Of course."
"Why mention sexual intercourse when all we did was lie in bed cuddling last night?" Aaron questions with a smirk.
"First of all, because that is the lamest thing I have ever done with a beautiful person in my bed, and second of all, because I have plans for you Aaron. Big plans."
He loves watching Aaron try not to blush as he comes to stand next to him. "Can we still cuddle afterwards? That was really nice," he says softly.
"Yeah, I really liked that too," David confesses.
"Not lame at all?"
"Not lame at all."
They smile at each other and Aaron says, "I'm going to kiss you as soon as we're out of this building. You better get out of here before I'm too tempted."
Walking out of Aaron's office, David's wearing the biggest smile on his face. Before he goes to his own office he swings by Reid's.
"Hey kid."
Reid looks up.
"It's worth it. Go tell them."
"What if it doesn't work out the same?" Reid asks softly.
David bends down next to Reid's chair. "Trust me when I say, it's completely worth taking the risk, because if they feel the same way, it's the best feeling in the world."
Reid looks uncertain, but says, "I'll try."
"It's worth it," David promises, and walks away.
When he sits down in his chair, he's a happy man. Working a great job, writing another best-selling novel, surrounded by people he cares about, and in love.
Personally, he's looking forward to all that cuddling.