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Izuku Midoriya had always wanted to become a hero. No matter what everyone told him, he never gave up. No one can convince him to give up. Not his peers. Not his teachers. Not his friend. Not his mother. Not All Might. Fuck the quirkist man.
He always believed that he was going to become a hero, quirked or not. Quirks aren’t everything. He ignored everyone who told him otherwise.
He trained his body, his mind, and his patience to tolerate his childhood friend's daily repetitive bullshit. He fell down at least 5 times a day he sincerely believe that maybe falling was his talent and that he could one day fall gracefully and splendidly.
The name-calling, however, was tiring to hear. It burns his ears and itches his hands to punch the mouth of his tormentor to think of something new.
Deku here, Deku that. Useless there, worthless on the side, take a swan dive off the roof in the middle, and the occasional ‘you can’t be a hero’ commentary afterward the beating.
The blonde asshole, for one, is not creative with his insults. Izuku swears on God that he could do better.
For example, reprehensible bitch-ass explosive cheese. It was long but effective.
He got beaten up 3x worse when said it to the blonde's face, but was it worth it? Definitely. 10/10. Would do it again just for the fun of it.
Secondly, the blonde should prepare for future lawsuits once Izuku has enough money to file one.
Dumb mother fuck needs to face consequences one way or another.
He fades back to reality when he hears a woman scream at him.
"Why is there ice in my coffee?! I almost choked to death because of you!" A middle-aged woman ranted, slamming the beverage cup down to the counter, causing some of the coffee to spill.
Izuku smiled at the fuming woman in front of him, moving the white Persian cat away from the counter so the spilled coffee won't get into her fur, all without breaking eye contact with the woman.
"Ma'am, your order was iced-coffee. Please understand that iced coffee really meant having ice and coffee in it," he explained painstakingly, watching the woman get red with anger.
It was like teaching a kid that verb is an action word. It was like teaching a baby how to count. It’s like telling someone that the sky is blue, the leaves are green, or Izuku is short for his age. It was either his mom's genetics or the trauma.
It's not that hard to figure out.
What in ice in iced coffee is there hard to understand?
"Iced coffee is meant to be cold already! Not to have ice!" she fumes, stomping her foot in annoyance and slamming her purse repetitively on the counter with repetitive curses.
Ah, yes. A tantrum. Fitting for a middle-aged woman.
Thank God he removed 'Intolerable Bland Pastry' off the counter. Yes, that's her name. Sue him. His naming skill is Godly.
You can't prove him otherwise you name something more creative than his newly acquired pet named 'Abominable Prickly Llama.'
The pet was a frog.
Izuku sighs, tapping his foot in irritation. God, spending his entire life with Kacchan pushing his patience was enough. He does not need another one to push him past his limit.
"Ma'am-"
"Don't call me that! I'm not old!" she growled, grabbing the cup from the counter (which magically was never once smacked by the purse, wow) and throwing the cup into his face instead.
Oh come on, that was a perfectly good coffee.
He chewed the inside of his cheeks, wiping the coffee off his face with a hand towel tucked into his apron.
He could hear his other customers murmur but he doesn't give a single fuck at the moment.
"Okay, Miss," He forced himself to smile, gripping the towel in hand as if he had the woman in a chokehold. "First of all, Iced coffee is literally iced with coffee. It's in the fucking name. Secondly, if you add 1+1, it's equal to what? Yes, exactly. Two. If you had used your brain to use the straw instead of gulping that drink filled with ice like a champ, then you wouldn't have choked." he hissed.
He could hear some of his customers snicker, some of his cats meow loudly, and well, the machines at the back ringing indicating whatever he was baking was done.
Fortunately, the woman looks to be done as well with her face red, veins looking like it's ready to pop a blood vessel, and her eyes seemingly ready to burn him alive.
Not the first time, and unfortunately, not the last.
What’s with him and people with fire-related quirk? Goddamn.
The woman cussed him out for a good 3 minutes and 54 seconds straight before leaving his café. A new record.
He was mildly impressed when the woman had called him 'Constipated Green shit.' That was new. Kacchan should take notes on how to insult people like that.
He cleaned off the mess the customer had left him with. He's not paid enough to deal with this. He's not even paid.
His thoughts ran back to the past as he mops the floor.
Thinking back, it could've been different if the universe wasn't such an asshole.
A year ago, he got into UA as the first quirkless student. He got into Class 1-B. He had friends to talk to. Everyone was nice. He only encountered his 'reprehensible bitch-ass explosive cheese' friend once or twice. Everything was going well for him.
But surprise, the universe decided to be a bitch and he got expelled on the second week because he found out a classified world-level secret by accident, and now he has a homeless-looking man slash underground pro-hero always on his tail in case he ever tells another soul about the secret.
It was not his fucking fault that All Might talks louder that Presentation Michael, especially with the doors open.
It was like they were telling him to listen to him, intentionally or not.
Now he's here. Cleaning the coffee-stained floor. How heroic.
His eyes shot open when the door to his café opened violently with the door hitting the wind chimes causing them to fall and break, the carved cat on top breaking into two, making the said cat headless or bodyless. Depends on which one you look at first.
Izuku clicked his tongue, “That was expensive as hell. I spent my whole fortune on that,” he complained, watching as the newcomer stepped on the broken pieces left from the wind chime.
"Put your hands up and get down on your knees! I have a gun!" The man, wearing a black mask that looks like old-worn socks patched up together with colorful stitches pointed the gun at the customers.
The customers obliged immediately, some of them crying as they got down on their knees with their hands up in the air. The robber smirked before pointing the gun at Izuku, "Give me all your money or I'll kill every single one here!"
Izuku eyed the robber, his eyes judging as he looks up and down with his eyebrow raised, "Sir, do you have a daughter?" he asked, turning his gaze back to the man eye to eye.
The man gasped, his hand with a gun trembling a little, and his face, although covered, seemed to be surprised. "H-How did you know?! Huh?!" he yelled, taking a step back.
Izuku tilted his head, his brows furrowed and his hands going up in the air. "God damn, chill. I was just asking. Your shoes are filled with Peppa Pig stickers. Nice fashion sense, by the way." he commented as the robber calms down in an instant.
"I don't care! Just give me the money!" the robber roared, gaining his bravery and courage back, stepping forward to threaten the green-haired teen.
The said teen frowns, grabbing something from his apron before giving it to the robber, "Here."
The robber grabbed it without a second thought before looking, painting a splendid look of confusion on his face as he examines the card he was just given.
"W-What...?" he stutters in confusion, turning his attention back to the teen.
Izuku, on the other hand, seemed pleased with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He grins, showing off his canine teeth, "Uno reverse, Smelly Sock Mascot," he cackles as he abruptly grabs the gun away from the robber, the robber too shaken to fight back as the teen points the gun at him.
"Now, I'm robbing you. Give me your money."
The robber paled.
ꕥ
Moments later, his underground hero slash local hoboman slash father figure finally came with a grunted look and an annoyed gaze the moment he noticed Izuku sitting on the bench beside other Police Officers.
"Problem Child." Aizawa groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose when the said child grinned at him enthusiastically.
"They told me I can keep the gun!" Izuku cheers, showing off the gun he got from the robber. "It's a pellet gun so they told me it's fine as long as I don't randomly shoot someone with it!"
"Grounded." was all Aizawa could say as he drags the teen high on caffeine away from the Police station. The pro-hero sighs loudly as he passes Tsukauchi with a sympathetic look on his face.
The man could sympathize. It was the third time this week. It was only Wednesday.
"I have a gun, a gun is all I need~" Izuku sang as they got into the car, with 'Abominable Prickly Llama' on top of his head.
Again, his naming skills are Godly as fuck.
Ain't that right, Abominable prickly Llama?
CROOAAAACKKKKKK
End.