Work Text:
Teyvat Sad Girls’ Club Assemble!
“Sister Rosaria.”
“Hmm?” The aforementioned looks up from the label she’d been expecting just moments prior, regarding Eula with a bored look while she swirled the bottle’s contents for no particular reason.
“Care to explain?” Eula gives her the cue to start explaining herself and this situation she’s brought upon the Spindrift Knight. “Though regardless of whether you do or do not, I still shall exact my vengeance upon you.”
Rosaria blinks.
She begins to saunter over in long, slow strides towards an increasingly unnerved Eula who takes a step back to preserve her sense of personal space-
“Here.”
“Wha-“ Eula glares at the offending object unceremoniously shoved in her direction. “What is this?” She questions, clearly befuddled by the Nun’s actions.
“Whiskey I got from...” Rosaria trails off, eyes looking afar for a second before returning to Eula, shrugging as she clearly gives up on remembering. “Somewhere, I dunno.”
“What?! No, why are you even-“
“Why, would you like a beer instead?”
“No, I don’t want a beer!” Eula fumes, Rosaria shrugging as she mutters a simple, “your loss”.
“I also brought sake, if that is more to your taste, Eula?” Sara interjects, reminding Eula of the reasons for her perplexity in the first place.
“No, Sara! The alcohol is not the point!” The captain sighs but takes the bottle anyway. She needs a drink to nurse this growing headache. Ironic, but…
“Then whatever is the matter, my friend?” The tengu takes a seat next to Eula, assisting her in pouring herself a glass.
“The ‘matter’ is that I was summoned in a panic by my best friend, Amber, telling me I should go to Angel’s share for an emergency; only to find you and Rosaria who has been giving me odd riddles since I arrived, clearly stalling so that I would remain in this establishment for reasons she cares little to divulge.”
Eula heaves a heavy, heavy sigh.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Captain.” Sara tries to comfort. “I, too, was called here to Mondstadt under the impression that I would be assisting you apparently in some vital mission.” She explains her sudden presence to Eula. “Or at least, that’s what the letter I had received stated.”
“And I hadn’t heard a thing about you even being anywhere near here, or about you coming to ‘assist’ in anything. Not even from Jean.” Eula murmurs that last part to herself. “Which means that either that letter was false information or…” Eula turns her glare to Rosaria once more who comically pauses midway through her drink.
“What?”
“Rosaria, what the hell are you up to?” Eula accuses.
Rosaria, contrary to any reaction Eula had expected, merely smirks, waving a hand airily. “Don’t worry, don’t worry about it, I tell you. The last member should arrive any moment now.”
“Last member?” Sara parrots, looking around the bar.
“Arrive for what?” Eula is this close to strangling Rosaria. Drinking buddy or not, Eula doesn’t take too kindly to having her time wasted with foolish goose chasing.
But before she can make the move and begin a proper interrogation of Rosaria, the nun mutters a quiet, “Ah.” to the jingle of the tavern door’s bell.
Eula and Sara’s gazes are met by a tall, beautiful figure carrying an imposing aura, enough to turn a few heads in admiration, then in fear once the newcomer’s eyes sweep over the room– an extra glower sent one catcaller’s way.
Opal-hued orbs seem to find their destination after moments of scanning, landing on the bemused Eula who turns side-to-side as their eyes locked briefly, trying to confirm that it was indeed her that this stranger was looking at, and slowly walking towards.
“Er, Rosaria…?”
“Are you the one who sent me this directive?” The white-haired beauty shoves a piece of paper in Eula’s face. People sure were shoving a lot of things in her face today. She is not amused.
“I’m sorry? I’m afraid you have the wrong per-“
“Yes, yes! She’s the one, Miss Shenhe.” Rosaria interrupts, slapping a hand over Eula’s mouth, plastering the fakest smile on her face.
Eula glares at the sister, wanting nothing more than to hit her right this moment.
“Thank you for receiving the invitation and coming all the way here from Liyue. I pray your travels weren’t too harsh?”
‘Who is this person?’ Eula cringes in unfamiliarity as she forcefully pulls Rosaria’s hand away from her mouth.
Any retorts the Knight wants to make are promptly snuffed out as Rosaria gives a booming clap, successfully gaining the odd trio’s attention.
“Now.” Rosaria begins, and Eula has to keep her irritation in check because at the very, VERY least, Rosaria was FINALLY ready to sate Eula’s curiosity.
Sara sits up a little straighter, hands folding onto her lap as she listens with apt attention, also desiring to know just what exactly is going on if she was not actually called here to answer to any important matter.
Rosaria clears her throat a tad before spreading her arms out in a stance of proclamation.
Eula decides to get cozy, because knowing Rosaria (or maybe not knowing her?), this could take a while. She picks up her glass of sake, taking long sips.
“As the servant of my lord, but not savior, anemo archon Barbadude," Rosaria pauses, looking to the sky for whatever it is she looks for when Eula knows that Rosaria doesn’t know. “Barbrotos… Lord Bendover or something or whatever.”
Eula raises a brow at that. She supposes it’s typical of Rosaria to forget the Archon’s name. Not that Sara, the poor soul would know as she tries to helpfully supply, “Are you referring to the Archon, Barbatos?”
“Yeah, sure. Him.”
Eula resists the urge to sigh.
“Anyway, I shan’t beat around the bush and tarry no longer.”
Eula wonders what kind of script Rosaria is going off of in her head. She claims to never get drunk, but can she not be just a little tipsy right now-
“You lot are so sad. So! I think you should be friends.” Eula chokes on her drink because really?! Is this actually- “Hence, I dub thee… thee all,” She twirls her index finger in a motion indicating that she is referring to the trio she had somehow duped into attending this utterly useless (in Eula’s eyes) meeting. “With the power vested in me by Lord Barbabe…” Eula hates the trifling lull in speech Rosaria makes for dramatic effect.
Whatever comes out of this woman’s mouth next, no matter what it is, Eula is sure that she is going to murder her–
“Teyvat Sad Girls’ Club!”
Eula slams her forehead onto the table, earning Sara’s concern as the general places a hand on her back.
Eula lifts her head to scowl at the nun who looks so proudly accomplished, handing this ‘Shenhe’ a glass of wine and leading her into a boisterous, “Cheers!”.
“Why are you doing this?” Eula spits out through clenched teeth as she watches Rosaria chug her glass down in one go.
The nun spares her a sidewards glance, a small grin playing on her lips. “Barbara told me I should at least do some good deeds once in a while as a nun.”
“You call this a good deed?”
“Yeah? I mean look at me, solving depression across the land.” Rosaria draws her arm out in an arc.
“What ‘solving’? I feel like you’re about to give me depression.” Eula mutters, swiping her glass and the bottle of whiskey Rosaria had earlier offered, filling her cup to the brim to drown out how livid she was becoming.
Maybe she should just ask Sara if they could leave and hang out somewhere else-
“Excuse me?” Shenhe raises her hand, like a pupil about to ask their teacher a vital question.
“Yes, Miss Shenhe?” Rosaria points to the woman.
“Well, if this… ‘Teyvat’ club means that we have a member from Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma, and possibly beyond… does that not mean that others would have travelled across the sea? So would you not be solving de-“
“Don’t.” Eula refuses to have that thought finished. “Don’t say it.”
Sara looks momentarily perplexed before her eyes light up, a fist meeting her open palm. “Ah. I get it.”
“Please, you didn’t need to. You don’t have to. You shouldn’t.”
Eula hopes Rosaria doesn’t bite the bait-
“You’re so right, Shenhe! I’m so good at this that I’m solving depression across land AND sea. Heck, maybe I should get amber to fly me over to Celestia so we can have air too-“
“That’s it. I’ve had enough!”
“E-Eula?”
“VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE!!!”