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Life was unbelievably boring. Unbelievably long. There was nothing to do. There still is nothing to do.
That's why I amused myself by living on a tree near a place the humans built. They called it a “playground”, and many little human children came there day after day, running around and somehow amusing themselves with the strangely-structured things planted into the ground.
Humans were strange. They still are strange. Why did they find those things so amusing?
But more than that, why did they age so quickly? One day, I see a child coming to play, and after a certain period of time that seems to pass so quickly, he comes back as a father, with his own child, bringing him to play instead. Later on, he's old and gray, his child nowhere to be seen. Then, I would never see him again.
Ah, such frail beings, humans are. They pass like the breeze, nearly unnoticeable and quick. How terrible it would be to grow attached to one. How terrible it would be to care for one.
Yes, I never thought it would be my problem. But that child, unlike others, watched from a distance with eyes so lonely, so empty. Eyes I had never seen on the ignorant, naïve human children.
They said he was strange. They said he told lies. They said he had no parents, and was loved by none.
They said this and that, but the boy stood there, pitiful like a homeless dog.
How strange. He had a home, did he not?
But I wondered... Did he have a place he belonged to?
I wanted to know. And if he didn't, then I wanted to be his friend.
I wonder why. Even now, I cannot fathom what made me feel this way. I cannot, but it didn't matter. It still doesn't matter. I just wanted to know.
"I just wanted to talk to you, Natsume."
I presented myself as a human girl and held my hand out to the lonely boy. Since then, he would come to me in his times of worry. I kept him company, and those were happy days. I was able to put a smile on his face.
And yet I had no right to tell him that he wasn't alone...
Because I was just lying to him.
Of course, anybody would hate a liar.
That's why you're alone, isn't that right, Natsume?
But you weren't a liar. I was the liar.
Is that why you told me to go away, even though I just wanted to talk?
Is that why you cried...
Even though I just wanted you to smile?
Ah, humans are so strange. Why should I care if you hate me? Why?
Please, tell me...
I don't understand.
Even though you're just a human, why do I care so much?
Even though you're just a child...
Why does it hurt so much?
After that, he never returned to the playground. Soon after, he left.
I don’t know how many seasons have passed, but I haven't seen him since. I don’t know how much time has passed, but I still don't understand.
Ah, humans are such mysteries. Such mysteries indeed.
I wonder, why were you so lonely even though you were such a kind boy? Why did nobody care about you, try to understand you, even though you were so obviously sad? Why did you come to hate me, even though I just wanted to talk? Why did it hurt so much, when you told me to go away?
And why are you here before me now, when I was sure that you would hate me forever?
Why are you here, so much bigger, so much happier, apologizing with such a kind smile, devoid of any loneliness you held in the past?
Stop it. Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I was the liar. I was tricking you. I made you feel like you weren't alone, but you really were. I gave you false hope.
So please, stop it... I don't deserve it, so please don't hug me so warmly... I didn't do anything, so please don't say “thank you” so sincerely...
If you do, I'll come to care for you, even though you're a human. If you do, I'll be sad when you go, especially since you're a human.
If you do, someday, I'll be lonely again.
But as your warm embrace held my lonely existence, your warm smile bringing tears to my empty eyes, I came to realize...
It's terrible after all, isn't it? To grow attached to a human? It's too bad, though...
I already am.
So for now, this warmth I wanted to give you back then, and this warmth you're giving me now... I'll return it to you, as best as I could...
And maybe now, we can talk once more.
Because I'm too curious for my own good… I want to know yet again.
Do you have a place you belong to now?
Do you have people who understand you now?
Are you still lonely?
One by one, about yourself once more...
Will you talk to me about it?