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He used to enjoy running. Before his leg went splintery and nervous. He’d been so fast, too. And so strong, and so... powerful. He laughed at himself, a cruel scoff. Pathetic. “You’re pathetic,” he mumbled to the ceiling. Unwelcome tears pooled in his eyes. He let the saltiness sting his corneas before the tears overflowed and dripped down his face, getting snared in the stubble of his beard. He had to get up. The bath water, now tepid, was insufficient to dull the vicious ache in his leg. Vicodin. There was a bottle in the kitchen.
All right, if he didn’t move now, he might pass out again and wake up choking on tepid, half inhaled water. He pulled himself over the porcelain edge of the tub before collapsing inelegantly onto the tiles. He crawled to the kitchen and tried to ignore what he was. Pain provoked enough tears, no reason to add shame and disgust.
He thought, then, as he had before, about how many Vicodin capsules would ensure his death. 20? Calculations measured in milligrams zapped through his agony-addled mind.
No. No. He couldn’t. Not now. Not tonight.
Suddenly, he heard a noise- a creak- a hallucination? No.
Someone stood in his doorway. A figure breathing hard, dusky against the unlit hallway. House could recognize the man by the sound of his respiration. Wilson.
“House?” A worried voice penetrated the doctor’s solitude. More worried than he deserved. And comforting enough to disarm his vulnerable embarrassment.
“Wilson.”
House collapsed then, slamming his chin against the hardwood. Humiliation would have consumed him had he not been preoccupied with pain. Wilson flicked on the kitchen lights. It never hurt him less to see his friend this way. Decrepit. Bleeding where he’d cut himself. Alone.
But not alone anymore. Wilson half carried House to the couch and fed him two Vicodin before turning on House’s favorite pain music— piano, Liszt.
House nestled against Wilson, squeezing his eyes against the agony, gripping Wilson’s jacket with taught knuckles. It hurt still. But he was safe now. That was the difference.