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Chapter Text

Villain Vibes

Lucius Malfoy looked around his deary surroundings, he stared at the golden liquid in his cup at the shabby muggle bar in east London. All eyes were on him and his emerald green robes. He didn’t really know where he was less unwanted the muggle world or the wizarding world. He had rightfully been shunned by his kind due to his crimes in both wizarding wars. No bar in the wizarding world would welcome him. And if he dared tried to go into any of them, he would promptly get kicked out. The only reason he wasn’t in Azkaban for his crimes was due to Narcissa’s bravery in lying to the dark Lord but even Narcissa, the only woman who he thought could understand him, had enough of him. A few years after the war had ended, she had divorced him and gone off to Paris with a younger wizard. He hadn’t talked to her in years. As for Draco, he too had come to his senses and cut off all contact with his father.

So, to quell his loneliness and since he couldn’t get into any of the wizarding bars, he did something that repulsed him and drank his sorrows away at a less than stellar muggle bar. But when he was drunk, wizard and muggle all seem to be the same.

He took the glass in his hand and gulped down the golden liquid, his fifth shot that night. He turned to the bartender and said, actually ordered “fetch me another shot.” His words were dripping with venom.

The bar tender gave him one look and cried “oi mate you're cut off, we’re closing.” By his reply, it appeared that Lucius hadn’t heard any of this. He hissed like a snake. “Get me my drink you filthy muggle!”

“Muggle,” the man repeated the word back, he had heard it once before in a dream, at least a dream of a dream when his nephew Harry Potter discovered, he was a Wizard. Life had not been too kind to Vernon Dursley since Petunia divorced him. “You’re one of those freaks I reckon…get out of here.” Vernon stood his ground. Lucius launched for the cuff of his shirt and pulled him closer to him with his bare wizard hands. “Get me my drink!”

After that it was all a blur. Lucius soon found himself in a holding cell at a muggle police station, he was being charged with assault and was waiting to be moved to an actual jail cell. But he had a trick up his sleeve, his wand. He would simply use it to escape. He felt inside his robe, gone was his ornate cane that use to house his prized wand. He now kept his wand in his robe. But at the present moment, it was missing, it must have fallen out during the scuffle at the bar. He let out an aggressive moan. Suddenly he heard a vibrating noise, his eyes shifted to the strange muggle contraption that the detective that had interviewed him left behind. He had heard of these they were called cell something or another. He wasn’t sure of the term.

The door opened and he saw her. He could instantly tell she was the worst kind of muggle protected by her old-fashioned floral dress and pearls. She had a long neck, dark eyes and tight curly dark hair. She wasn’t particularly attractive, but he was piqued by her muggle essence; it both disgusted him and intrigued him at the same time. He gave her a long snake like stare.

Petunia had longed for danger, adventure. Her life had been so dull ever since she discovered that Lilly got to go to that dreadful school, and she didn’t. At the end of the wizarding war, she had divorced Vernon realizing their marriage had long been over. He was safety, she wanted danger. After divorcing him, she promptly got a job at the police station as a secretary hoping that would give her the excitement, she so desperately craved. She also needed the money. But even at the busy police station, she found her life to be boring. Her beloved Dudley didn’t really speak to her anymore, having realized as an adult and a parent himself how horribly his parents had treated Harry Potter. As for Harry Potter, she hadn’t heard from him in years.

She could tell the man with the long blonde hair was a wizard. She even had to admit he was handsome, in a dangerous, cruel sense. She formed her lips into a half smile but then thinking better she straighten herself up and said in a businesslike manner, “ the detective forgot his phone, I’m here to fetch it.”

Lucius looked to the phone and reached for it. He picked it up and said in his snake like manner,” you mean this?” Instantly an idea manifested!

Chapter Text

Chapter Two: Snake Eyes

“Yes, give it to me,” replied Petunia in an inpatient manner, it had been a long night and the detective was already in a sour mood.

“Perhaps we can come to some sort of an agreement. I seemed to have misplaced my wand. You help me retrieve it and maybe I’ll give you the phone to give to your detective…what do you say hmm?”

Petunia looked indignant. “Excuse me…what makes you think I would help a freak like you?” This wasn’t the type of danger she had in mind, helping some shabby and obviously drunk Wizard find his wand.

“I suppose your superior wouldn’t be too pleased if you didn’t return this to him,” he said as he slipped the phone into his pocket. Petunia shuttered at the thought of the detective discovering that he wouldn’t be getting his phone back due to the actions of a freak. He had already mentioned he was close to firing her, she needed the money.

She and Lucius could hear the detective bellow while passing by outside, “Dursley do you have the phone? By Jove you’re useless…I’m going to go interview a suspect, I’ll be a few hours but by the time I’m done I better have my phone in my hand, or you’ll be looking for a new job.” Petunia dutifully nodded her head yes. She felt like she was with Vernon again.

Lucius snarled once the detective was gone, “some boss, no wonder muggles get the bad name they deserve. So do we have a deal?”

Petunia looked squeamish as if she was pondering making a deal with the devil. To Petunia making a deal with a wizard was akin to making a deal with the devil. She shuttered as she held out her hand and said softly “deal.”

Lucius took her hand in his. His hands were rough and callous due to the war, hers were soft and dainty. When their hands touched, they could feel an automatic electric unseen spark flow between them. Though they did not know this yet, there was an instant chemistry.

Petunia pulled her hand away, steading herself, that the handshake had made her feel unbalanced. It caused her to wonder, what Wizard nonsense he had pulled on her. She shook off these strange feelings and pressed, “well you seem clever enough to make deals, how do you propose we get out of here?”

“I’ll let you work out the details,” Lucius declared lazily as he sat back in the chair.

“Typical wizard,” huffed Petunia. “Never wanting to do any real work.”

“How does a muggle like you know about wizards,” Lucius asked almost intrigued?

“My nephew is Harry Potter,” Petunia answered simply pacing around the interrogation room.

“Oh, you’re Harry Potter’s muggle family. I’m afraid he rather ruined my life. Not to go into the details, we fought on opposite sides of the wizarding war. I was on the losing side.”

“He ruined my life too though I was rather cruel to him, I kept him in a cupboard.”

Lucius was colored intrigued by this statement. “Did you? Good girl!”

To this Petunia didn’t reply, rather she said, “I think my life being ruined goes back further than that. It would have to be when my sister Lilly got her letter to that stupid school and Dumbledore wouldn’t let me go.”

“Dumbledore was the worst thing that happened to Hogwarts,” mused Lucius.

A sly smile crossed Petunia’s face, “Maybe you and I are not that different after all.”

Lucius wanted to argue but his only argument would have been that she was a muggle, he a wizard, but there was no need to state the obvious. To this he responded by saying, “I wouldn’t be so rash. But for a muggle, you’re not that objectionable.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Three: Magic

For reasons unknown to her, Petunia offered her hand and said, “My name is Petunia and for a freak you’re not that objectionable either.” Lucius took it and shook it as he did before but with a twist. “Lucius Malfoy,” he revealed holding her gaze and her hand longer than he should have. Petunia noticed this and offered up, “in the muggle world it is polite to let go of one’s hand now.”

He viciously released it, like a snake releasing a mouse from its jaws. He then bitterly said with a slight hint of embarrassment, “my apologies.”

Petunia holding his stare, felt her hand, it was still warm from his touch. It was the second time their hands had touched that night. His handshake had been firm and dominant A small smile crawled across her face. “No need to apologize,” she bristled as she remembered that this man was a wizard and probably a married wizard at that. “I’m sure your beautiful witch wife must be getting worried about you.” She couldn’t help but think he had a blonde beautiful wife eagerly waiting at home for him.

“We’re divorced,” he answered simply.

“Oh,” replied Petunia with intrigue.

“Does your husband worry about you working in a police station so late at night,” Lucius countered? He assumed she was married, though he found himself very drawn to her.

“I’m divorced as well, that’s why I need the job, I need the money,” she answered sheepishly.

“Oh, poor you, muggle and poor what a pity…,” he hissed again. He enjoyed torturing her with his little comments, he absolutely loved the look her face made when annoyed he found it sensual.

She ignored this comment and sharply asked, “how are we going to get out of here?” She wanted to fire back at him, but he held the phone that controlled the fate of her job.

“I assigned that task to you remember,” he growled.

“So lazy, aren’t you, it’s almost as if you’re dead!” Suddenly an idea popped into her head. “Fall into my arms,” she ordered.

A disgusted yet curious look manifested itself on Lucius’ face. “ I beg your pardon,” he asked?

Petunia rolled her eyes. “Do you not want your wand back?” This time she was the one doing the hissing.

“Very Well,” snapped Lucius as he sauntered over to Petunia and fell into her opened arms, and she cradled him. He surprisingly liked being so close to her beating heart.

“Good,” Petunia stated, she liked this, she felt like she was in a position of power and control. Also, it was not a bad thing to have a handsome man in her arms even if he was a wizard. “Now close your eyes and look sick.”

Lucius did as he was told, he liked being bossed around, he wasn’t used to being the subservient one. Suddenly Petunia let out an earth-shattering, shrill scream. Instantly the room were filled with other muggles. “I was just talking to this suspect, and he keeled over into my arms, I think he’s having a heart attack he needs an ambulance.”

Minutes later, Lucius was strapped to some muggle contraption being rolled into something called an ambulance. He could feel the cool night air on his face, Petunia was by his side. She leaned in and whispered into his ear, her hot breath making the hairs of his neck stand erect, “open up your eyes and tell them your fine and then run off. I will sign out saying I’m going to lunch. I’ll meet you at the pub I got the name from the police report, but I need it to look like I didn’t just help you escape, so it’s best we separate for the time being.”

Lucius waited in the alley near the pub, it felt like he had been there for hours. He hoped something didn’t happen but then corrected his thinking, why should he care about what happens to a muggle? He heard footfalls and then found himself face to face with Petunia. “Sorry for the delay, I had trouble finding this place I don’t often go to the seedy part of town.”

Lucius rolled his eyes. “Very funny. But I do have to congratulate you that was a rather clever plan for a muggle.”

“Let’s get this done with the pub is over here.” They soon made their way to the pub. The barkeep, the same one Lucius had gotten into a scuffle with earlier in the evening was locking up. Lucius instantly recognized him, but he needed this man not to recognize him, he was already in enough trouble. His thoughts soon filled with an idea. Despite it horrifying him, it might just work. He cried, “that man is the same barkeep I roughed up earlier this evening, I need him not to recognize me, this isn’t a part of our deal, but I need your help. Trust me, I absolutely abhor asking a muggle for help.”

“Um I abhor helping a freak like you, but I know that man too, he’s my ex husband. I can’t have him recognize me either, what will he say? What do you need me to do?”

“Do I have your consent?”

“Yes, I suppose, you’re not going to do some freaky magic on me, are you?”

“Of course not,” he pulled Petunia closer to him. He was now face to face with the beautiful muggle. He smashed his lips against Petunia's pale lush pink lips. Petunia was pleasantly surprised and began to passionately kiss the seductive wizard. As Vernon was passing by, he just saw a man with long blonde hair kissing a prudish looking brunette. “Hooligans,” he muttered. He walked on, not recognizing Lucius or Petunia.

Once he left, Lucius and Petunia were still locked in the passionate kiss. It felt freeing, naughty, powerful and oddly right!

Chapter Text

Chapter Four: A Decision

Lucius roughly pulled away; he was dumbfounded. He had just kissed a muggle, he Lucius Malfoy. He should be disgusted at himself. What if his father had seen him what would he had said? If the dragon pox hadn’t killed the old wizard, this certainly would have. He was shocked Petunia was quite skilled, something he wouldn’t have expected. She took her time, she was slow, methodical, and gentle, not sloppy. Narcissa had been a sloppy and distant kisser. This would be a secret he would take to his grave or so he thought, he quite liked kissing the muggle.

Once Lucius had pulled away, Petunia put a dainty finger on her trembling lips. She should be ashamed of herself, acting like a deviant kissing someone she barely knew, a stranger in the middle of London. And this stranger happened to be a wizard, a freak among freaks. This was so abnormal, but it felt so right. This wizard knew how to please, he was passionate, raw, rough, and dangerous. His kisses were lustful and tasted of danger and cheap liquor, they were not boring and distant like Vernon’s hairy kisses were.

The two stared at each other wordlessly not knowing quite what to say after their passionate moment. Petunia was the first to speak, “shall we go get the wand now?”

Lucius was drawn back to reality. “Well bit of a problem I dare say, your ex seemed to have locked up for the night. We’re not getting in unfortunately. I don’t have my wand or floo powder. We have to try again in the morning.”

Petunia shifted uncomfortably, she wanted to get away from this freak, she didn’t like how she was becoming attracted to this wizard. Her eyes gazed next to the pub, there was an inn. “There’s an inn next-door, you can stay there until the morning and go and retrieve the wand in the morning, I doubt Vernon’s shift would start so early. Do you have any muggle money?”

“One of the perks of working at the ministry of magic is that they collected muggle money for research purposes, and I lifted some over the years out of pure curiosity,” he answered dryly.

“That settles it then you will get a room at the inn, stay the night and retrieve your wand in the morning,” she ordered. He loved how she ordered him about not even Narcissa had the nerve to do that.

“I suppose that should be the plan,” he muttered.

“Good, give me the phone, our deal was for me to help retrieve the wand, it is not my bloody fault the wand is locked up in the pub. I gave you a plan to get the wand, now hand it over.” She smiled a slight smile; she loved how this freak brought out her dominant side.

He wanted to protest but he was so enthralled by this strong show of force by a muggle woman of all people. He sighed, his hand lingered in his pocket longer than it should have, he against all inclination wanted her to stay. Once she had the phone, she would be gone. But he knew he couldn’t delay forever. He handed her the phone with a furious force, angry at himself for not wanting her to leave and angry at her for wanting to leave.

Petunia for her part didn’t want to leave either. This handsome wizard made her feel alive and maybe if she dared, sexy, that kiss though it was meant to be fake was the best kiss of her life. She stared at the phone plopped into her hand and realized she was being ridiculous fancying a wizard of all people. She clutched her handbag and curtly said, “thank you. Good night.” And without another word walked off into the dark night. Lucius watched her until she became one with the night, he then proceeded to the inn, where he paid for a room.

It was two in the morning as Lucius paced around his filthy small muggle room. He was filled with thoughts of Petunia; he couldn’t get the horrid muggle out of his head. He wished he had asked her to stay. He was obsessed with her. Her lavender scent, her pale lips, the strawberry jam that he had tasted when he kissed her, they all filled his thoughts. A knock was heard at the door. He resisted answering with the thought pressing against his mind, what if it was the police? What if they figured out, he was gone and were here to arrest him? The knock could be heard again, and the posh shrill voice of Petunia rang out,” Lucius it’s Petunia open up!” He ran to the door and swung it open. He saw Petunia holding a bottle. “I thought you might like some company I brought wine.”