Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was dusk by this point, and the pink clouds started to roll in over the indigo sky. The drive into Pelican Town just seemed to be getting slower and slower as your eyelids set heavy. Maybe it was the tiredness? Or the fact all of your worldly possessions were hauled into the back of your dingy 4-seater for the drive. You had moved out before, plenty of times actually, but you hadn’t made such a long journey to your new apartment or room. You had at least visited the property once in the forthcoming months. But this you hadn’t seen in at least 5 years.

Grandpa’s farm was a nostalgic dream. I was home to many distant, misty childhood memories. It kind of felt weird to be moving in. It felt as if you might be ruining the wonder it enamoured you with in childhood by making it your everyday life, you wondered how this might affect the deep cave of dejection you were already stuck in about your grandpa's death. You sigh, the clowds spun fast past your window, you were driving just a bit over the limit to try and make it faster to your new home. If you could even call it that. Maybe hopping in your car on a whim and deciding to move in wasn’t the best idea to nurse your grief after 3 years. But hey, at least this way you’ll be fulfilling grandpa's wishes. 

The 8-hour-long drive sort of forced you to consider the actual logistics of it all. You hardly knew how to grow basil on your windowsill let alone run an entire farm. It somehow felt even worse that you were starting from scratch, grandpa had died three years ago but you only opened the letter he left you last week. And that very concern had been rocking your core for about well, the entire fucking journey. Would the cabin be in good enough shape for you? What if the water wasn’t working? You had never owned a property before so you had no idea how to fix issues like that. You had somehow repaired your washing machine once, only in desperation since you had no insurance sure, but never anything of this scale.

Maybe you would be so busy that you wouldn’t be able to think about grandpa or anyone else for that matter, or maybe you could just sell the property to pay off your university debt.

Why the fuck would you say that?

The car comes to a halt, the tires squealing as you swerve into the dirt. You were 3 hours into the journey and already pulling over to reconsider. You didn’t even really know what you wanted, when did you ever? Why would you ever think its a good idea to move into a quaint village with no friends, no family, no grandpa. After sitting in the car for a minute, feeling the anger and self doubt rise and settle in your stomach, you turn the keys again and start up the car. You then spent a solid 36 minutes driving back to whence you came only to change your mind again and do a 180 to continue following the map to Pelican Town. At 6 hours in you cried at a petrol station in your car and stocked up on a couple of cases of energy drinks for the road. Pulling the car door shut, you sat with the case on your lap.A dejected sigh of relief leaves your lips as you gaze out at the sunset. The sky was beautiful, prettier than anything you’d seen in the sky of the polluted city. The little things like that gave you hope: the farms you had seen dotted along the side of the road, the cows and sheep idling in the acres of fields, forests and distant hillsides. It was all so pretty, and it was everything grandpa loved. You supposed you loved it too, really. The gentle breeze and the orange sky helped you ease yourself again and you pulled out of the petrol station back onto the road.

At 7 hours in your car started to rumble and jostle all too much for you to be anything but worried, you drove on hoping this problem would just disappear if you ignore it (it doesn't). The more you drive the more you hear a distinct ‘ thud-thud ’ in succession every 3 seconds or so. You pull over for what feels like the 10th time this evening and kick your car door open, it was a busted tire, great. You feel your back crunch a little at the sudden change of posture while you lean down on all fours to gather a better look at the damage. There was no significant tear, but you hadn’t caught it losing air earlier and it was completely flat. You haul yourself up and head to the boot of your car. You think you knew how to do this, it was going to have to work because you did not want to end up stuck on the side of this road for hours. With oily hands, you force the wheel into position. Grunting like your old man when it didn't fit perfectly. Wiping your hands on your nice, fitted jeans you grabbed a spanner and made work with the new tire. You regretted hastily ruining your trusty jeans with oil - but you knew things would get dirty when running a farm, why not start now? When you finally changed the tire, throwing the spanner to the side and wiping your forehead it was much darker overhead. You finally get back in your car and begin to hit your 8 hour mark. The car jostled and rumbled down the motorway, bundling over the bumpy terrain of the Calico desert. The endless sand and occasional streetlights swept past your view. Finally, across the distance, you spotted a thick line of trees and a rusted sign approaching that read “Pelican Town: Stardew Valley”.

The noise of relief that left you was honestly a little embarrassing, you gripped the steering wheel so tight that beads of sweat started to drip down your wrists. You were finally fucking here! Your eyes lit up with pure pride for even getting this far as you make the turning into a ditch of trees, sweeping past the sign for Stardew Valley like a hair in the wind. The mountains seemed to swallow you whole as you speed ahead. The headlights of your car beam into the trees of this winding road, it turns and twists around the woods before heading into the tunnel below the bridge. Oh how much you adored riding through this thing as a kid, it always felt like you were “opening the door” so to speak into the Valley, it signified the beginning and the end of your holidays to grandpas. And this time it was a little strange to be starting a completely different journey with such familiar foundations. Every fleeting thought of your worries left you at this moment. You slowed your approach as the road ended, brush and trees around you swayed in the gentle breeze of the night. You parked your car right in front of an old, dilapidated bus. Although it looked abandoned entirely, you wondered whether it was ok to park in front of it until you peeked at the tires, to see them fucked entirely, in no other simpler words. You doubt anyone planned on driving it anywhere in the foreseeable future. 

The car door swung open in defeat as you lamely kicked it. It almost felt like you fell out of the car as your legs readjusted themselves to standing. Holding your lower back you twisted and turned trying to stretch the aches and pains of the car ride off. Flipping over your phone from the dashboard you read: “10.23 pm, well shit. I was meant to be here by 8”. Letting out an exasperated breath, you dragged your coat and backpack over you before lugging a cardboard box out of the back passenger seat. You tilted your head to check that it read “Essentials” in what might as well be chicken scratch.Bumping both doors closed with your backside you locked the car with a click of your keys and started lumbering towards Elderfern Farm. 

Kicking open the large oak gate probably wasn't your best idea. Exclaiming as one side fell off of its hinges completely, “oh fuck”. You bundled through the opening as the gate swayed open in the breeze, the hinges shrilled slightly, kind of like it was pissed off at you for just kicking it half off of the post. As if this wasn't bad enough, you quickly fell despondent as you got a full look at the farm. It was in pieces, the small cabin held up well enough, but everything reeked of abandonment. The entire farm was infested with weeds, and it looked like any remains of produce was rotting into the ground or eaten by animals. The trees were overgrown and old. Since no one had cleared up from autumn and winter for 3 years now, piles of amber rotting leaves lay everywhere. It tore you up inside a little, that it had been so long since you'd seen it in its glory, and hit you with the reminder of how long it had been since grandpa had died. 3 years wasn't long to lose someone dear, but it was long for a farm to become run down and devastated. You wish you had come sooner, to do a little damage control in the slightest.

The moon cast a shimmering sparkle on the remains of the greenhouse in the brush ahead. Just beyond the cabin the wooden posts still held up some remnant of the glass panels. You remember helping grandpa pick herbs and plants there as a kid, and how you told him you wanted to be like him. The misty memories just hit you like a ton of bricks for a second as you comprehend what you're looking at. In disbelief, you force your way up the rickety wooden steps and drop the box onto the porch. You slump over a little. Maybe it was the heavy box, the sleep deprivation or the grief you weren't sure. But you just needed a minute to breathe. You fish out your grandpa's keys from your pocket. You hold it for a minute in anticipation, running your fingertips over the grooves of the key, and think about grandpa folding it up in the letter. He sent it just for you. Turning it in the lock, the door reels back slowly and the inside is lit with the glow of the night sky. 

The moment is slow but the small front room looks fine. It just looks fine. You kick the box into the room with your feet and close the door. Wow, this was a lot. Flicking on the light does… nothing. It does nothing. Of course, it doesn't do anything, no one has lived here for years! You wanted to hit yourself at the stupidity. Stretching over the small dining chairs and table you fiercely swing back the curtains to let some of the moonlight in. With a slither of light, you take in the cabin fully.

The room is modest, holding a living space and a kitchen. One-third is split by black and white lino tiles and the rest old wooden panels. The dingy kitchen looked dismayed. It only had small counters and a little fridge, with a rusty little gas oven and stove, the kitchen was so small it was sort of the kind you would see in a caravan. On the other half, there was a  small dining table and 2 chairs beneath a rickety window. There's a big stone and brick fireplace and a box VHS TV sitting next to it parallel to an old dusty armchair. It looks worn but its presence was gargantuan in the light of the room. It gave you a smidge of comfort and familiarity to plop down on the dusty fabric chair. You spot two loose logs still in the fireplace, “Oh yes! Thank you gramps!” using your lighter and some old light fluid from a kitchen drawer to start it up you sit back into the chair. As the flames blaze and whip into the chimney and embers dazzle the dark room, the whole place just glows with warmth in an instant. You pull off your long coat and drop it to the floor, pulling yourself up you sit on the edge of the chair. You begin untying your boots with struggle and kick them off. It was deathly quiet, besides the crackling of the logs in the firepit. You notice your phone is quickly running low on charge, 23% wasn't great but it was your fault for blasting Spotify the entire journey here. 

Whatever that's a tomorrow  thought . Opening the old bedroom door, the room felt grimey and dead.

The bed was dusty, with thick sheets neatly tucked into each corner. You wonder who cleaned the sheets and made the bed after he passed, who found him, who locked his cabin door and left it waiting for you like he had asked.

You felt a little lost walking into your grandpa's room. You remember how when your family visited, he would always sleep in his armchair while you and your parents bundled into the bed and the air mattress. You laid back into the bed and sat awkwardly. It almost felt like being in an unfamiliar friend's house, like you weren't sure if you were close enough to sit fully in their bed yet, you know? Laying your hands back into the mattress you wonder about how strangely cold Grandpa's bed felt. It just seemed empty, too empty. You tried to shuffle back into it and pull the thin sheets over you but it just felt wrong. There was a wave of depravity that sunk into the sheets as you tried to get comfortable. Fuck, you needed to get new bedding… 

Your head sinks into the frail cushion and it frays beneath your head. You had a lot of shit to do tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

Oh, wow, your bones fucking ache . You really did a number on your back.

Well, that was all over now, wasn't it? You were reeling back and arching in your grandpa's old dusty bed to stretch, you unclench and open your eyes. The curtains soaked up the glow of the morning sun as it spun and reached in through your window to wake you up at the literal crack of dawn. The dust softly dazzled around the room in a daze, the room was much dustier than you recalled last night when you came in. You rolled out of bed and shivered at the cold floorboards beneath your feet. You grumble to yourself, looking down at your dirty oil stained jeans… You'd guess washing wouldn't be easy here, well or as easy as a washing machine in your apartment. But you'd hope that your other pair of jeans and t-shirt would hold out for a couple of days before you had to think about that… They didn't.

Bumbling over into the kitchen, you shivered again as your feet made contact with the even colder tiles. This small little thing your grandpa called his kitchen was in a bit of a bad way, it seemed the neighbours didn't even clean out, and his cupboards were still filled with old tins and boxes all grossly moulding and reeking of rot. Ew . You closed each cupboard as curious as you had opened them, yoba, could no one clean out the old man's stuff? The disappointment all seemed to be building up too fast. Wrenching the sink tap, cold water flourished out like a waterfall! A little dramatic, perhaps but, you were really glad to see clean cold water in these rusty taps. You fumbled around for a minute to find your phone in the sheets, “6.20. And no signal, or wifi, or much charge. Cool” You dropped it back into the duvet and tried to get on with your life. You had a lot of unpacking to do and a lot of cleaning. 

It took around an hour to sweep the cabin. A record for the longest time to do so? Perhaps, but it didn't help that you spent 30 minutes fumbling around for the brush and pan. You knew grandpa must have had one and everything seemed untouched in his cabin so why wouldn't it be here? This jostled your empty head for most of the hour until you discovered the magic of the utility cupboard in the bathroom which withheld such treasures as the dustpan and brush! You then also discovered the joy of crusty dish soap and cleaner in the cupboard under the sink which you used to start cleaning out the disgusting mess which was the food cupboards. Tossing old shit into a bin you dragged in from outside, it began to feel a little freeing as you and your yellow rubber gloves went to work. 

And then someone knocked.

“Ow!” you dropped a tin on your head as you were startled by the knocking. The scare only prevailed for a moment before the social anxiety kicked in, oh wow, you have to talk to someone!  A neighbour, or the mayor, or your soulmate could be at that door! Well, a soulmate is a little much. What the chances you're going to find a partner in Pelican Town - a literal village in the middle of the mountains. Not to mention the fact that you're probably not the standard village image of a man. You could probably get away with a date or two before-

“Hello? It's Mayor Lewis!” a muffled voice announces from the other side of the door.

You got super sidetracked in your thoughts again. “One second!” You grab a pair of trainers from your essentials box and slip them on, before running some water through your hair in an attempt to make it look presentable. Taking a quick but deep breath, you swung back the door.

“Hi! I’m so sorry I was late last night! It's nice to meet you, by the way, Lewis!” It all just bundled and stumbled out of your mouth. You weren't even sure if the guy remembered you from when you visited, you sure hoped he didn't or the cat would be out of the bag real quick.

“Oh! Good morning Player. It is nice to finally meet you!” He reaches out his hand to shake and you almost forget to do so for a moment. “Please don't apologise for the late arrival, I know it was a long journey for you!” 

“Thanks! Yeah, there was um, a lot of traffic out of the city.  And my tire got busted but I fixed it!”

“I'm glad to hear you got here safe and sound!” He looks down at the state of your being at the moment. Powdered in the dust with bright yellow gloves on. “Is this a bad time?”.

“Oh no! Yoba, sorry. I knew you were coming but I just got lost trying to clean!”

“Ah, no worries! You are still up for our tour then, yes Player?”

Tour? A tour? Wait. God. Oh yeah, he did write that in the letter. I mean, you know, when someone says they're taking you on a tour you don't usually take it so literally. But then again, this man was the Mayor of a village of roughly 30 residents, how much was there to show you?

“Of course” You simpered. “Can I just have a moment to grab my coat?”.  And before he could answer you bound back into the cabin. Grabbing your coat was not the plan, you were gonna search your grandpa's closet for a lint roller and clean up. Opening the little wardrobe panel doors did actually grant you the roller you were looking for, but you also stumbled into something a little different. Folded up neatly on the bottom shelf, hidden under a blanket was a pair of overalls. Classic denim, with little golden buttons and latches. It was baggy, but it look like it may just fit. It was also remarkably clean compared to everything else in this place. It felt cold to the touch, and a little stiff for all its lack of wear. But you decided these mucky jeans weren't going to do. And instead, you strip them off to adorn your new outfit.

“Sorry! I didn't mean to be so long”. You skip out of the cabin door, locking it with your little red key behind you. You tamed your hair a little more in the musty bathroom mirror and popped a mint in your mouth before heading out. The lint roll did wonders for your t-shirt and it didn't look so worn underneath the denim overalls. The legs were a little long for you, although not for grandpa you had guessed, so you rolled the cuffs of the legs to fit and headed outside. 

“Well, son if you just wanted to clean up you should have just let me know!” Lewis chortled.

“Sorry!” you struck, beaming “I was just a little nervous is all, new town and stuff. I want to make a semi-decent impression”

You finally get a good look at Lewis, he was a short man - with a sagging jawline and round nose. His freckles peppered his nose and cheeks, and even his hands , which you notice as he goes to shake yours. You knew he was a similar age to your grandpa, so he must be in his 70’s or so. With grey, bristley hair and a worn brown cap he looks no more than any older man of his generation. Besides his magnificent (and particularly groomed) moustache of course - with brown denim overalls, a delicately ironed mossy green shirt and a bright yellow tie he's easy to spot from afar. 

Lewis chuckled, “of course, no worries” he led you out of the broken gate and down the bright, sunny path. It looked so much nicer in the Spring sun, everything glowed and the brush and plants beamed around you. The sandy gravel path led you both below the trees and into the main square of Pelican Town with mossy cobble tiles and old fashioned street lights. The square was quaint, the buildings tightly packed, knitted together with little gravel trails or a cobblestone path. Little fences, rickety stairs and well kept flower patches adjourned the square - bringing it more life than was expected of such a small village.  

“a nice place, no?” Lewis regarded. Residents loosely trot around the square running errands. A woman with blue hair was carrying rolls of fabric in both arms in a rush, and striding past her was a bit of a horty brunette man rushing into a little terraced building on the street. The sleek, white sign above read “Pelican Town Clinic” with a blue cross hanging from the porch. A woman with strikingly blonde curls was taking photos of the daffodils sprouting in the grass, and another elderly woman chatted with her while she tended to a nearby flowerbed. It all seemed so tight-nit, so quaint, and a little strange. The square itself was familiar to you, the whole town together in fact, but the people were so new and scary. It was like you knew the house like the back of your hand but had no idea who was inside of it! You fidgeted with the buckle of your overalls for a moment, “It's lovely! I haven't visited in so long- but I still remember most of it!” You hoped maybe this comment would make the tour a tad briefer, despite the fact it had literally only just begun. 

“Ah well, I will refresh your memory nonetheless!” He cleared his throat. He points to the Clinic, a little building with white painted brick and blue curtains inside. It had a few strangely placed dormers, on the side and front of the building decorated with little wooden flower baskets. The brick steps and ramp up to the door matched the copper reflection of the neatly placed roof tiles. “This building to the left is the Clinic, Harvey is a well-respected and brilliant doctor!” he boasts, “his assistant Maru is very talented!. I believe you were concerned about some medical issues in your letter?” 

“Oh yes,” you peer around for evesdroppers “I have medication I need and I was wondering if the clinic would be willing to get it delivered for me?”

“Oh” he puffs his chest out, as if about to make a proud declaration “of course Player! I will see to it personally if I have to!”

You hoped he wasn't serious, it was bad enough there was only one doctor and he was solely responsible for getting your testosterone shots, and you guessed his assistant Maru would find out too. If Lewis knew… you know what they say, three's a crowd.

“That's fine Lewis!” You jolted “honestly I can have it sorted. I'm sure Harvey won't mind me asking if you say he won't!”

Lewis next refers you to the few other buildings in the square. First, Pierres general and grocery store, the town proprietor if you will, according to Lewis’ praise anyway. It was a terraced building attached to the clinic, with what you assumed was the original red brick foundation. The rest of the exterior was replaced with birch wood panelling, and frosty glass double doors with a wooden trim. The right side of the front exterior is shadowed by an upstairs balcony with a little green door. The windows seemed almost mismatched, some smaller than others in unfamiliar places to the streamlined nature of city architecture you were accustomed too. Underneath a wooden, hand painted sign that read “Pierre’s” was a town notice board. Filled with miscellaneous notes and hand written papers, a calendar and ‘announcements’ on a small chalkboard. It sort of shocked you, that all of the necessary information to live here was provided on a small piece of wood outside the town's only general store. It felt almost suffocating, polarising to the endless, vast feeling of the city. In Zuzu, you had been anonymous. Now Mayor Lewis was writing your birthday into the town's shared calendar.

Next he was onto the Saloon, a traditional brick tavern with dark, square roof tiles. Its hearty chimney blew smoke into the crisp air, probably from the kitchen that its owner, Gus, ran by himself. You didn't know who Gus was, but you would be sure to meet him if you visited the bar (according to the Mayor). “The Stardrop Saloon” hung from a huge wooden sign in bright yellow paint. You would be sure to be visiting for a drink when the nights were cold and alone. Lewis followed on with Willow Lane & River Road, of which you waved and introduced yourself to the few residents that were also out on the quaint street.

Down past the square, the pair of you walk past the river. Lewis points you to the beach path, but doesn’t particularly care to lead you further himself. You stay on his trail, keeping a mental note to visit the fishing store at some point there. You get a look at Lewis’ home, and the more houses you see the more you notice most seem to have a parked car in the back garden that hadn’t looked like it had run for years. It made sense, there were no roads here, especially not up the rocky mountain - nor the thick forest south-west of town. You would only really need a car for out of town endeavours in hindsight. In a way it wasn’t so different from the city - at least it was practically useless to drive your own car in the packed city streets. Public transportation was simply faster and more affordable in a place like Zuzu.  On your walk east of town you gain sight of two larger buildings over a little cobble bridge.  

The first was the largest building in the town so far, an old fashioned museum with green wood panelling and roof tiles in a shade of dark plum. The rickety extension on the back of its grandeur form had a small chimney puffing out curls of smoke. Its large windows gave way to a glimpse of the interior. You could see many aisles of wooden shelves filled with books. Desks tucked into corners and reading chairs. It was the first thing to feel unfamiliar in Pelican Town, but your grandfather never really took you on this side of town.

“I’m surprised you have such a big library” you let out an airy laugh. 

“Oh, it's very old!” Lewis chuckles “but you see, Stardew Valley is a very lucrative area for researchers of all kinds. Archeologists, historians, you know… that type of folk” he waves his hands around cluelessly. “Every few years we get a PHD student wanting to book a room to continue their studies here. Whether it be on dwarven history or land geography in the mountains”

“I never knew that” you mumbled. 

“So as you imagine” the short man twists one side of his stache as he gazes towards the building “a lot of money is poured into our academic facilities here. Oh and, it is technically our town's only school building” he shakes his head “which is a requirement from the state”.

“Right…” you cringe a little. “And that funding would otherwise be needed for?”

You’re shot a dangerous glance before you can even consider getting a straight answer.

“Plenty of things” he huffs, almost short of breath. “Let's carry on, shall we?”

Lewis then leads you past the town's blacksmith. It was a quant, cobble building tucked among the trees within the shadow of the museum. It was only a few minutes walk ahead but the churning and guttural roar of the furnace outside could be heard all the way from the bridge if you listened hard enough. 

you notice there is a Jojomart convenience store tucked away to the east beyond the river, but Lewis doesn't seem to regard or mention it. He leads you up the stone path to the park and the abandoned community centre and leads you some way up the path in the view of a house in the mountains. 

“And that,” he points “is the Bankes residence, I trust you will be needing the carpenter!” he laughs, regarding the state of disrepair your farm is in. “Her name is Robin, she is a brilliant carpenter and I assure you any work you need she can help you with, I also believe that her daughter Maru dabbles in a lot of handy trades if you need help setting up.”

“The nurse? Wow, She does a lot then huh?”

“Oh, I haven't told you about the rest! Demetrius is Robins's wife and an invested wildlife scientist, a bit of a botanist if you will. And Robin's son Sebastian is a computer whizz, I know that's not the name for his job” he chuckled “but I honestly couldn't give you a proper name for it!”

“Sounds like the Bankes have a lot going for them huh?”

“They sure do! They are a lovely addition to the town to be sure, you’ll love them, Player.”

You gaze at the house for a moment, it was a modest two-story home. A classical suburban dream for anyone. Its blue tiles and craftsman-style design screamed carpentry. The log posts and beams stood triumphantly, and you wondered if this Robin Bankes had built the damn house herself. There was a small collection of satellites in the windows and on the roof and a silver metal garage in the front. Around a fenced quarter towards the back of the residence sat a smaller cabin-style extension, it looked more recent than the rest of the house. 

As Lewis turned back towards the path, you stared a little longer. You were certainly curious about this family as you had yet to meet any, and even more curious about setting up your life here. You would need that carpenter soon. 

Lewis redirected you back into the town square, which you assured him you could find yourself, yet he insisted on walking you back anyway. Checking your wristwatch, it was now just approaching mid-day. You thanked Lewis dearly for the tour and the introductions to the passers-by and finally said goodbye. It really felt lonely and frankly awkward, standing in the town square without your guide. That impending feeling of imposing on another space pierced you. You were totally an outsider to this little town, and it reminded you how much grandpa wasn't here. 

If you know any way to work past your troubles it would be to get busy and get distracted. You weren't going to ponder on the consequences of bottling it all up because time was passing fast, and you headed into the clinic to get your “medication” sorted.

“Hello?”

“Hm? How can I help” a dumpy and merry brunette sat across the counter, with thick-rimmed glasses, fluffy swept hair and a thick stache. “Oh!” His bushy eyebrows reeled up “You must be Feldman's grandson, come, come!” He gestures for you to enter fully, your hand still cautiously holding the door open. “It's nice to meet you, Dr Harvey, I’m Player” you manage, leaning over to shake his hand. “Oh, don't be silly! You are welcome to just call me Harvey.” he shakes back before fidgeting his hands together crossed over his torso. “How can I assist you today Player? Hurt already?” he chuckles a little awkwardly at his own joke.

“Well actually, I wanted to get my medication in order before anything else” You start confidently, but lose your bravo as you spot the nurse, Maru, wandering in the back room with some files and pottering around. You wondered how much she could hear. 

Harvey smiles gleefully at you, “Well of course! Would you like to follow me? I can grab the paperwork for you”. You tried not to look so painfully obvious as you mentally sighed relieved. Ok, so the village Doctor wasn't going to go spilling your business in the clinic reception, cool. This is a good start. Harvey leads you through a corridor into one of the back rooms, you wave and timidly introduce yourself to Maru, the clinic's nurse and supposed handyman of the Bankes family. He brings you into a small consultant office in the back right and closes the door behind you, this time you let out a bit of an audible breath. 

“Nervous? I'm sure whatever medication you need we can have it prescribed all set and proper for you!” he starts.

You sit down in the wobbly little patient's chair “Thanks”. 

“So” he sets down his papers, “how can I help?”.

Oh god, how do you start this? Maybe with “Hi there! Have you ever had a transgender patient before?” or perhaps “do you carry testosterone? You know - to make me grow some hair-”. Sometimes, you wished your internal dialogue wasn't so cynical, but literally how else are you meant to preface that you need constant weekly prescriptions of testosterone, like, forever.

“Well um, I’m actually taking weekly dosages of testosterone at the moment” You start with unease.

“Uh-huh” he jots it down, “ is this for hormone balance or?” He looks at you a little strangely, you start to panic.

“Not to make you nervous! “ he chuffs “ I just haven't received any of your patient's files yet, since you just recently transferred clinics on the system, so I don't actually know anything about you, yet”.

You might as well just rip the damn bandaid off.

“I'm doing hormone therapy. I'm, I'm transgender” You reel back a little, looking down. You really didn't wanna see the reaction. This could genuinely be your journey over in a moment. A mere second. Could you still move back into the city? You wondered as your mind raced.

“Oh really!” he pushes the rim of his glasses up the nose of his bridge, “I had a few transgender patients during my time in Zuzu city. I jumped between a few clinics during my career so I assure you I am familiar with some of the processes!” He seems a little proud that he's able to accommodate you. 

Your chest, which was wound so tight with anticipation you could have exploded, unravelled so fast and so relieved that you wondered if you could bother hiding the glee on your face. “Really? Does that mean I can get my prescription fine?” you frantically questioned the doctor.

“Of course Player, wow, I'm sorry if I unnerved you” he regarded the fact you may be clutching the straps of your overalls in excitement. “No no no! I mean. Thank you, Dr Harvey, I really appreciate it.”

“Don't worry Player, I’ll have the prescription ordered as soon as I get your files in, i'll call you back in to fill in some forms when it's ready. I have to give you a two-week delay at most, but I'll get you back on track for your hormone therapy” He smiles and adjusts his glasses. “I understand it can be a lot of pressure, especially in such a small town as this”.

“And no one else will know?”

“Of course not!” he looked slightly dejected that you had even asked. “I am a doctor, Player, I am bound to your confidentiality 100%”. 

Another sign of relief.

“Thanks, Harvey”.

Wow. That went, really fucking well? Who would have thought that the town doctor was totally cool with you being a self-made man? It was certainly a change of pace. I mean you had to switch doctors and then practice a couple of times to find someone not objected to you. It was like, stupid lucky how accommodating this one doctor was.

Frankly, your spirits were boosted for the rest of the god damn week. 

Chapter Text

The next couple of days were slightly a blur for you, it wasn't easy gutting this place from the inside out to make something new out of it. Lucky for you, you had actually thought far enough ahead to purchase some supplies on the journey. With a shiny new hoe and scythe, you went to work on the remains of your grandpa's farm. It was therapeutic in a way, to be reclaiming and hopefully rebuilding what he once had. You knew grandpa was quite the big shot himself, he would sell fruit, veg and animal products to the townsfolk. Chatting to granny Evelyn in the square certainly gave you a lot to live up to. She was very fond of your grandpa, and apparently, even George liked him. Which said a lot from your little interaction with him.

You had actually a smidge of experience in the farm life. Your grandpa would bring you on fishing trips down to the beach on warm evenings, in the mornings you would get all of the chicken eggs while he milked his cows. You would plant little strawberry saplings and green beans in your own little patch next to grandpa's entire crop field. Once when you were 13, you begged and begged your parents to let you spend the entire summer at grandpas farm. They let you on the condition you did your summer homework at the farm, and grandpa promised to supervise this (he didn't) . But you spent that entire summer on his farm, sleeping in his bed while he slept in the armchair. It was like a misty dream now. How you loved your grandpa and he loved you, he always had such faith in you and backed your corner in every little aspect. You were certainly missing that now that you were trying to rejuvenate his entire farm from scratch… You thought back on those summers and week trips, in all honesty, you didn't remember the villagers all that well. You remember Lewis vaguely, but he was much chipper than he was now. Well, it had been 10 years since that summer, and the town had certainly changed. 

You felt beat, to put it in simple words. You had whacked and swung at what felt like miles and miles of long, weedy grass. It just never seems to end, does it? You fan yourself with the hem of your t-shirt, trying to get some air in the bright sun. You imagine how it'll be even more humid when summer actually rolls around. “Fuck that”. You considered taking your t-shirt off. I mean- you had top surgery two years ago, grandpa paid for it and wrote to you constantly during your recovery. But like, the scars were still pink, the tissue was a bit white and you weren't sure if you wanted to risk someone seeing the huge scars across your chest. Even if they didn't guess or clock you, it almost seemed worse to have to make up some lie about it for a different reason. Sweat pooled under your collar, your kneck, back and armpits. Wow, standing still for just a minute reminded you how disgusting you felt right now. You post up the scythe against a trunk for a moment. 

“Oh fuck this, I’m going inside”.

You check the time on your phone, closing the door behind you and peeling your sweaty top off. It was 2 pm. Decent, you'd been working for around 6 hours, apparently waking up and heading to work at 6 am was your new normal on the farm. You consider just sitting in for the day, or heading down to the river to dip your feet in the water, but you knew you needed to head to Pierres and grab some stuff. You also needed to use his wifi to schedule an appointment for the electricity, about time. 

You basically jumped out of your overalls and leave them on the bed, you needed to shower and clean up fast if you were gonna make it to Pierres before he closed up for the day. The water was cold, mind you, none of the gas heaters worked in the house either so you were stuck showering in freezing water. You didn't mind it right now though, since you had stupidly been working in the sun for 6 hours with no sunscreen and no hat. The refreshing bite of the cold did wonders for your burnt skin. It kind of hurt for a moment as you rinsed your sun-kissed face, but it was fine, it'll do. You hop out, ruffling your wet hair in a loose towel. You figure it'll dry properly in the sun later, lifting your head you got a good look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. There you were, towel around your waist and wet straggly hair, and your chest. You put your hand over it for a moment and run your fingers across the scarred remains of the surgery. It was course and felt wrinkled a little, but it was much lighter in colour than last year. Maybe Harvey would have some scar cream? Maybe it'll become so light nobody will notice, not unless they really look close, and maybe you could take your shirt off. 

You catalogued that as a later concern as you dried up and pulled your clothes on. You grabbed a different t-shirt out of a miscellaneous box in your room and put on some denim shorts. They were frayed in the sewing, kind of tickling your knees, but I guess they looked fine other than slightly falling apart. You pull on some socks and a light pair of trainers and left to head into town. 

It was busy this Friday, well as busy as a town of 28 could be, many villagers were running errands and chatting around the square. You saw Mayor Lewis talking to Alex and Evelyn in his garden, and Vincent and Jas were playing tag in the grass. It seemed like a good afternoon for everyone. 

“Pierre!” You greeted the horty man over the counter “I've come to steal your wifi again, I promise I'm buying stuff this time!” 

He smirked a bit, “sure thing Player, should I start picking some free crops up soon then?” he gave you a cheeky look. “You wouldn't make much, trust me” you retorted. It wasn't entirely a joke, he wouldn't make much off of what little you had planted even if he tried. You scan around the shelves for items you needed, but you still weren't entirely sure where he stocked everything yet. What was your list again? Right - you were looking for parsnip seeds, bean seeds, conditioner, soap and probably something to eat for dinner. You peer in each aisle, with some small talk with other patrons, Marnie graciously points you towards things like soap and cleaning supplies and you manage to find the seed and produce section all by yourself (how genius of you!). It was just the big question now, what the hell were you gonna eat today? You had run through the food you brought with you, which consisted of cereal bars and chocolate, and you actually had to buy some real food. You look through the food items hoping for something filling, but also something that doesn't need to be cooked, heated or prepared in a kitchen in any way. You really wonder how Linus does it sometimes. 

“Hey! Its Player, right?”

“Hm?” You're dragged out of your thoughtless daze again, this time by a perky and red-headed woman in the same aisle. 

“Yes, Hi! That's me” You quickly turn and greet her with some enthusiasm. 

“Robin” she nods, “great to finally meet you! I'm the town carpenter, by the way, I live up on the mountain?”

“Oh yeah! Lewis did show me around, I just haven't had the chance to meet everyone yet”

“No worries!” she beams. She was quite short, but she had stature and muscle to her. She was wearing a mustard long sleeve top with a fluffy sleeveless coat. You noticed her hands were calloused and hard-worn as she chatted to you and picked things up off of the shelves. Her skin was pale, but similarly sunkissed to yours and she had ginger freckled cheeks. Her hair was soft ginger, with darker streaks showing in her roots and ponytail, it was split and loose in the front with strands pulled behind her ears for convenience's sake. She looked like a bundle of joy to be completely honest, her eyes were a mossy green and she bore a toothy grin.

“What are you up to then? I'm guessing the farm is in need of a redo?” 

“Um, I've just been clearing out the mess really. It's in a bit of a state, I'm digging up rocks and moving logs. I've yet to figure out an axe but I've been clearing the weeds for soil and such.” 

“Oh, player! If you wanted to use an axe you should have just come to me, I will seriously teach you how to tear up a tree” she laughed, “ any other plans for the property?”

You sighed a little “Not yet! Looking for something to eat at the moment, I still haven't got any electric!” giving her an apologetic look.

“Wait, I hadn't even considered you had no electricity in that place” she looks a little perplexed at the proposal. “That's a real shame, I'm sorry to hear”. She plops another item into her hand basket a little awkwardly. “Yeah, but I'm getting it sorted out soon” You eased, “I'll be fine”.

She gasps

“Oh I tell you what, Player, you should come for dinner tonight. Honestly, my treat”

“I can't accept that Robin really-”

“No no, come on. Consider it a welcome wagon!”

“Thank you Robin but-”

“Listen, this is a non-negotiable Player. I get an idea in my head and I follow. You are coming for a proper meal!” she pauses a second, “ and Demetrius is cooking, so I don't mind inviting” she giggles. “Please, it's the least I can do while you've got no electricity kid”.

“That's, that's really kind of you, yeah. Thank you, Robin”.

And that is how you ended up at the Bankes residence for dinner that evening. 

It was clean and cosy inside the Bankes' residence, You knocked on the little golden knocker and Robin let you inside with a warm hug. It was strange to feel so integrated within the household this quick, then you considered it must not be unusual when there was only a handful of residents in the area. You finally got a look at her carpenter's office space. It felt rustic and smelt earthy with wood and polish in every corner. The small woman chattered away to you basically selling her pitch, and it was pretty convincing, you did like the prospect of a coop for chickens she was selling. She led you through the hallway, you got a peek into Demetrius' lab and into the dining room. The place felt so much like your cabin, just way better. Little electric lanterns hung from the exposed beams, with log pillars forming an archway into the room. The dining table was of fine quality with ornately carved designs that you could only assume Robin made herself, the chairs similarly matched with little patterned seat cushions. There was a larger archway that seamlessly divided the dining space and the kitchen, with small square windows and little flannel curtains. 

“Player! It's nice to meet you” Demetrius basically spun to welcome you, he was wearing a “kiss the cook” apron and a wide toothy grin. He placed the wooden spoon in the large cooking pot he was supervising and shook your hands with graceful certainty and strength. He had clean, short curls of a deep hickory colour. His skin was soft compared to the strength and roughness of Robin's worked hands. He was clean all around, with a pristine blue collar polo shirt and black trousers. His mahogany eyes felt like they were boring into your soul for a minute as he exchanged pleasantries with you. He was much taller than Robin, but his stature was thinner and less intruding than that of the builder. You chatted idly as he excused for the mess (of which there was none) and joked with his wife about her eagerness to meet you for the business. Robin seemed a little flustered at this comment but her embarrassment left her as you spotted Maru the nurse walking in. 

“Hi, Player! Nice to see you again!”

“Hi, Maru!” You tried not to let your voice buckle a little, an intruding thought made you wonder if she had seen, or even had access to your patient files. 

“Oh, you two have met?” Demetrius asked you inquisitively.

“Yes, Dad, there's not that many people to meet around!” She gleamed, “Player dropped in the clinic before”.

Demetrius looked more relieved to hear this, “Of course! She's brilliant, hey? 19 and working at a doctor's clinic already!” He gestured like Maru was a trophy, perhaps she was.

“Yeah, for sure” You tried not to think about the protective mannerisms too much. You kept chatting to Maru as you pulled seats back at the table. She offers you a drink with the quiet politeness of a saint and you start to realise how nice the girl was, I mean, most people give up the perfect first impressions by now, but it seemed to you that this was just her character. She had bronze skin and bright mauve eyes, with dark box braids in a bob-style haircut with little silver earrings and round-framed glasses. She had a violet top on, and a pair of blue denim overalls with shorts. You noticed as she tapped her shoes together under the table, her laces seemed to be perfectly tied on her white-tipped converse with little pink socks. 

“Oh, Maru, can you do me a favour and grab your brother please” Robin was unscrewing a bottle of wine and trying not to get in the path of Demetrius, who wasn't appreciating Robin meddling in the kitchen, it was cute to watch, actually. 

“No problem” Maru leaves the table “Be right back! You've yet to meet me grumpy brother” grinning at you, she whisks away into the hallway. 

“He's not grumpy!” Robin retorts, “just quiet” she justifies with a grin. “Ok yeah, he is a little grumpy, but he's a sweetheart really.”

“Hmhm” Demetrius agrees unenthusiastically. 

A moment passes and Maru returns, sitting in her chair triumphantly as her older brother, whom you think was called Sebastian, slinks into the room. He lifts his head from his phone “hey, can I just like, bring this downstairs” regarding the food Demtreius was plating. 

“Seb” Maru points to you next to her with a soft glare. 

“Oh hey, you're the new farmer, right? Nice to meet you. I'm Sebastian.” He simply nods at you, you felt a little eased just by the nonchalant attitude. It kind of relaxed you in the stuffy room. Maybe that was just the steam from the kitchen, you couldn't tell. He was wearing a deep purple hoodie, and you noticed he fiddled with the pull strings as he stood awkwardly in the room. He had jet black jeans, that had rips all down the front from the thighs to the calf, and fluffy black bunny slippers. He looked like he was straight out of a hot topic catalogue with a classic emo haircut. It looked home cut, with his hair cut short in the back as it faded into loose fringe across the left side of his face. He had pale white skin, with a flush of light acne around his cheeks. You met a gaze with his deep chocolate eyes for a moment. He had visible sleep bags and strong eyebrows. His height was a good middle ground between the Bankes’ parents. He stood taller than Robin but didn't make it to the height of Demetrius, who was tall compared to most, you imagined. He shuffled his feet together and leaned further into the kitchen. Almost uncomfortably. 

“Nice to meet you, Player” you nodded back, and as soon as you finished he left into the kitchen. You appreciated the fact he didn't play with formalities, it was a little socially exhausting by this point. 

“Sebby, why don't you sit with us tonight?” Robin was gathering cutlery and trying to convince her son before he grabbed a plate. 

“Can't”. He snagged a plate of food and shuffled to the fridge. “I'm at work”.

“Really?” Demetrius jumped in, “it's dinner Sebastian” he lowered his voice, but you could still catch the muttering, “the new neighbour is here, can't you just be polite for one night?” 

“This module is due tomorrow” He slammed the fridge a little loud, “I can't just take random breaks from my work or I won't get paid. You know. How jobs work.”

Maru sniggered a little at this comment.

“See ya!” He rushed out of the kitchen, “nice to meet you dude” he glanced back as he escaped the dining room. 

You were left staring at the archway door for a minute as if somehow the cute goth guy would reappear again. “Bon appetite!” Demetrius bellowed. This snapped you out of your gaze, “wow thanks! This looks great.” 

You spent the rest of the evening chatting away with Robin, Demetrius and Maru. But you couldn't concentrate much, the dismissive goth guy was on your mind more than you would like to admit. Finally, you finished your meals. You helped wash up as a formality and thanked the family for having you around for dinner. Demetrius seemed far too uptight as you cordially hugged Maru goodbye. You promised when you got a proper dining table, you would invite the family round. Robin and Demetrius laughed a little too hard, little did they know you were 100% serious about your flimsy table. By this point, it was just passed 10 and you left, only with the soft glow of the Bankes porch light to guide you. 

As you consider if the mountain path was a quicker route home, you spot a figure by the lake off of the hill. They sit under a small maple tree on the bank of the lake and you quickly realise it was Sebastian, he puffs out a cloud of billowing smoke. 

“Hey” you skip over, he just looks up at you. You really can't tell if he's incredibly pissed off or just tired, the dismissive glare is hard to read. “Uh, can I grab one of those?”. He looks a little confused for a moment, “you want a cigarette?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I quit before moving, I was like convinced I was gonna become like healthy or some shit. But it's a little hard to resist when you're living in trash”. He smirks and passes you a cigarette, you take it a little too eagerly. You also take this as an invitation to sit as he passes you his lighter. 

“Farmer life too hard, huh?” He glares at you as he takes a deep breath in. He feels a lot less tense than he did a few hours ago but still reserved. 

“Nope, I knew the shit I was getting into and still came” You sigh a little. “I think grandpa would have been mad if I hadn't, he would have like haunted me or some shit.” You snorted and sheltered the flickering flame from the night breeze with your hands, lighting your cigarette. 

“I don't understand why you moved here” He looks over, “it sucks.”

You released your breath and let out the smoke you had been holding for a little too long. “Disagreed. Spend your 24 years in Zuzu city and then you'll love it here.”

“Your 24? Well shit.”

“Hm?”

“I mean like. Were the same age.” He gave you some limited eye contact before tapping the ash off of his cigarette. “Except I'm living in my mum's basement and you own an entire farm.” He smirked a little at his own comment. 

“Oh, you can hardly call that place a farm, I'm thoroughly offended you even thought that.” 

Sebastian pauses as he puts out the butt of his cigarette into the dirt and kicks it into the water. You both sit for a moment as the conversation fizzles into the night. “I gotta go” He stands, “you totally owe me a cigarette by the way” and he shuffles off into the soft navy of the night. “Bye,” you softly reply, you watch as he slinks in past the front door. His face and hair glowing in the soft lantern of the porch light as you make eye contact again for a dim moment. He shuts the door softly behind him. 

You pick the cigarette butt out of the water and put your own out. “Don’t wanna start littering on my first week” you stand slowly, the glass of red wine Robin gave you was making you a little sleepy. You walk home around the mountain path and take in the stars glimmering above your head, it was a cool night and you felt the peace of everything around you. The trees, plants, bushes and shrubs just felt harmonious on this little trail. As you rounded the corner trail to your farm, you notice you still had Sebastians' lighter in your pocket. You made a mental note that you would have to return that at some point.

Chapter Text

The sun spun, dazzling as it shot your sight as you exited the depths of the mines. You stumbled a little as your eyes readjusted to the daylight. You hadn't been long, only a couple of mindless hours of climbing ladders and picking up gems in the caves. You actually hadn't even really “mined” in the sense of the word, you had just picked at the occasional stone, collected cool stuff you found on the floor or dismantled old boxes and barrels. Your grandpa had talked about the old mines. Years ago, back in his youth, he would tell you about adventures of its depths with Marlon Fierro. He was a great adventurer, you were told, and he was insanely profitable from his guild at the time. Selling ores, treasures and weapons to those wanting to learn the craft. You remember jumping at the opportunity to explore once you had checked your mail that it had reopened just weeks after your arrival.

Even so, it had been weeks since your arrival and only now had you been able to visit it. When you first arrived, Jojacorp had been doing construction in the area and mining on a widescale operation only to cause a fucking landslide. You were completely unsurprised, and also unsurprised it took them so long to clear it. You guessed they had only done so over legal obligations and the possible court risk if they abandoned it. 

One thing you had not expected, however, was the crawling creatures and beasts that roamed the early levels. Yes, you knew they existed, just not so early into your exploration. You also hadn't anticipated that slimes could leave such nasty rashes and that grubs could leave such nasty bites. 

“Ouch, fuck” You hobbled out the entrance and straight onto the dusty grass, sitting on the edge of the water you lobbed your heavy rucksack to one side and dropped your flimsy pick. Pulling back your overalls hastily, there were nasty wounds around your ankles and calves, where the creatures mostly got you. You rolled back the cuffs of your overalls carefully to fully reveal the wounds and inspect them. Sighing, you realised how much of a pain this would be to run your errands around the farm, as you were slightly immobilised by some of the sore cuts and scratches. You ponder the situation, with your feet slightly dangling into the water. It would have been nice to dip your feet into the lake if you weren't covered in cuts. You can’t imagine how well lake water would help your open wounds. 

“Player!” a lilted voice called.

You spun your head, and down the edge of the waterline was no other than Abigail Mercer and Sebastian Bankes. Abigail began skipping towards you with a flute in her hand and her brown leather bag wrapped over her shoulder. Sebastian followed less enthusiastically but willingly towards you. 

You had met Abigail before, just a few days after dinner at the Bankes you finally ran into her leaving her father's shop. Pierre forced the introduction as she passed and she kindly reciprocated the meeting. She seemed sweet enough and was the youngest of her friends at 20 years old. 

The huge platforms of her chunky doc martins were smothered in the course dirt of the mountain path as she barrelled towards you. She had pale skin that caught the sun in a rose colour on her shoulders and arms, with little brown freckles and big ocean eyes. This was mostly accentuated by her huge black eyeliner and lilac eyeshadow, with dark purple lipstick. She had a small, gem nose piercing and thick silver ring piercings on her lobe. Her hair was thick, shiny and curled at the ends into smooth waves that bounced in the spring breeze. The brilliant violet was grounded by her dark roots. It was all completed by a neat, pale green bow on the back of her head which held back some of her hair from her face. 

Her jacket was a statement to be sure, it was a long denim sleeveless coat, of which you could see she had ripped and shredded off the sleeves herself. The collar was broad and ran down to her waist which was pulled in by a large brown belt. The silver buckle matched the rings and bracelets she adorned on her freckled hands and arms. She had black skinny jeans tucked under her belt and boots which matched her strapless black crop top, which revealed a belly button piercing. As she heads towards you, you notice she shoves the flute brutally into a small black case and straps it in her leather satchel bag. 

“Were you in the mines dude? THAT'S SO COOL!” She yelled out in glee. 

“Yeah!” reciprocating, you pull down your overall legs and buckle slightly as you try to stand to meet the two. 

“Lemme help ya,” she reaches out a hand with black painted nails for you to grab. 

“Thanks, Abigail.”

“Are your legs, like, ok?” Sebastian peaks up slightly. You can't tell if he's being concerned, pretending to be, or curious. 

“Yes! They're fine, I got like bit a couple of times” You laughed embarrassed. You had seen Sebastian around town a couple of times since your initial meeting but had yet to actually see the guy properly again. It was a little embarrassing to be here with him now.

“You call that a bite?” He questions, clearly he saw the state of your lower calves before you had anticipated.

“Player!” Abigail jumped before you could respond, “ We should totally go together, like seriously. I have a sick sword I got Marlon to make for me hidden in my room an-”

“Wait you actually got him to make that?” Sebastian interrupted inquisitively.

“I PAID him, Seb,” She shot back, and she turns to you “Anyway. Like seriously, I'm dying to go.” 

“That sounds fun!”. You weren't sure how much you wanted to mine with Abigail, you had spoken to her on your walks infrequently but she seemed really pumped to go. You didn't even know the girl was into weaponry, much less mining. But you really did need a friend if you were going to leave like this every time. “We should totally go for it” She audibly gasped “Yesss!” and fist pumped the air. “This is so cool, no one else here besides the adventurers guild uses the mines anymore and it's a total waste”.

You chattered with the violet-haired girl for a few minutes, Sebastian idly standing as he glanced in on the conversation as if that was his only desired input. You noticed how Abigail towered over the two of you, she was taller than most people, especially for being one year out of a teenager. You wondered where she got the height from as she chattered away as you recalled neither Pierre nor Caroline was particularly tall.  

“So what are you guys doing out here anyway?” You inquired some more for the sake of small talk. 

“Well, I live here” Sebastian spoke with an air of sarcasm, “and Abi was annoying me with her terrible flute playing”.

“Seb!” she knocked his head lightly “my flute playing is brilliant, you ass” she smirked as he recoiled a little. “Whatever, just stick to the drums”.

“You play the drums? That's cool” You piped up. 

“Yeah, we're in a band!” 

“ Abi- ”

“And Sebastian plays the keys” she makes a childish imitation of Sebastian on the keyboard. He looks incredibly embarrassed at this, seemingly recoiling into the dark hood of his hoodie. “And Sam plays the guitar, were like, really good” she gives you a cheesy smile. 

“I would love to hear it sometime!” You regret blurting that as soon as you say it, as the introverted Sebastian cringes at the idea of it. “If you guys wanted me to”. He looks slightly less offended at this and gives you a soft smile on the corner of his lips. 

“We should get going” He turns, almost recoiling from the eye contact you made as soon as it hit. “it's nearly 5 already and Sam is gonna be wondering where we are”. 

“Oh shit, it's Friday isnt it?” Abigail seemingly asks no one. “We're heading to the saloon Player, wanna come?” 

Sebastian shoots her a glare for this. 

“What dude!?” She doesnt shy away from the subtle glare as a warning, “I'm allowed to make friends besides you and Sam you know?”

You notice he simply ignores her. 

“Sure” you reply. 

The air was cool and light as dusk began to set over Pelican Town. The clouds drifted across the pink sky as the sun retreated behind the horizon. You spent ten minutes hobbling down from the top of the mountain lake down to the hilly path into Pelican Town square. Sebastian occasionally looked back at you with a concerned glare before turning his head back to the path with his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets. As you passed the Bankes’ house from the side, Sebastian stops to look at you.

“Dude, what's wrong with your legs?”

“Nothing” you retort all too fast. 

“You're bleeding.” He blankly nods his head to your right ankle which was creating a little crimson stain on the inside of your overall leg. It seeped more into the denim fabric than you had noticed before, “oh. Yeah. I guess.” You weren't really sure how to defend this one. 

He sighs, “ just come inside for a second, you're not gonna walk down that hill with busted legs.” He simply turned towards the oak door of his house and unlocks it, you really cannot tell whether this boy is perpetually pissed off with you or curious about you. But he certainly managed to care when it mattered.

“Shit Player, why didn't you say earlier?” Abigail asks as the three of you bundle into the door of the house. “I didn't think it was that bad” you wince. Sebastian, without words, leads you around the hall corner and downstairs into the basement. Which was as you now discovered, his bedroom. 

“Just like, sit” he gestures you towards his bed. Abigail takes a comfortable seat on the small table in the lower right of the room. Sebastian shuffles awkwardly and slinks back upstairs as you sit on the edge of the bed. 

You glance around the room and feel insanely out of place within the space. It wasn't that a new acquaintance’s room was always weird, but you felt particularly uneased by being let into the room of the most introverted person you knew. It felt like a realm of privacy you simply were not equipped to be allowed into, and yet here you were sitting in Sebastian's room, across from his best friend Abigail, like you were a part of their circle. 

The room was dark and gloomy, with dark wood panelling all across the bottom half of the wall and a dark cobble on the upper half. It was clear the plastering didn't get done down here when Sebastian moved in, or maybe he liked the cold stone walls? His bed sat quietly in the back left corner, with a rough and old headboard with black covers facing towards a small tv on the dingy little cabinet. It backed a large bookcase with various fantasy novels and board games, and noticeably you registered the line of RPG fantasy books like the dungeons and dragons player guide and monster manual. 

A worn, lilac rug sat in the centre of the room and sat beneath a small table and wooden chairs with a game set up in the middle. It looked halfway played through and Abigail was idly messing with the game pieces as you sat quietly in the isolated room. There was a large desk and swivel chair in the upper left corner, facing the entrance with two huge monitors and a keyboard. There were joja cola cans on the desk, and snack bags scattered around the floor. With a pillow tucked in on the seat of the chair like a make-shift back support. The screen glowed and lulled softly in the dark corner like it was left on without much concern for the electricity. It was all too strange to just be sitting in the cute emo boys' room like it was nothing. 

You're jolted out of your thoughts by tumbling steps down the staircase and you meet eyes with Sebastian again, he's holding a first aid kit in his hands and he awkwardly gives it to you. “Here” you stare for a moment, confused all most at the unexpected compassion. “Just wrap up your leg so we can go”. You take the kit from him and brush hands for a moment, he retreats and sits onto a chair adjacent to Abigail before opening his phone to idly scroll, like an attempt to ignore the act of kindness he had just done for you. Abigail looked strangely at him for a minute, as he hid his face beneath his mop of hair and blank haze into the screen. You try not to think too much about it, you take the dressing wipe out of the pack and start cleaning your cuts. Some are bloody, others mucky with the dust of the mines. You take bandage gauze out of the kit and wrap the cuts and wounds around your legs. You catch eyes with Sebastian again, this time you catch a tender, unexpected gaze from his sleepy eyes and just as quickly he diverts as if to pretend he was never looking at you wrap up your cuts. 

You stand. “Thank you Sebastian!” you hand the pack to him as he takes it swiftly. “No problem”. He almost shuffles in a haste upstairs to return the kit to its home. Abigail gives you a wry smirk. “What?” You ask. 

“Nothing, let's head to the pub, yeah?”. 

“Where the fuck have you guys been?” Sam exclaims, he places down his pint to greet Abigail with a high five. He tries the same with Sebastian, but he just smirks at him and flicks his forehead with two fingers. “Fuck you” Sam laughs. 

Sam had a toothy grin with shiny silver braces across the top and bottom row of his teeth. His hair was a brilliant golden blonde mullet slicked up with handfuls of gel to create spikes on the top of his head, loose strands of hair falling in front of his face and around his ears, with energetic lime eyes and dimples as he smiles. You had met Sam when running errands for Jodie when she requested some vegetables from time to time. He was always cheerful and light-hearted and you saw he would help Penny with looking after the children on school days. 

He wore a red band t-shirt and a shabby threadbare denim jacket. It was full of pins and stitched badges on the back and front, including a small bisexual pin badge on his left collar which you internally sighed at for a moment. So it couldn't be that bad around here if Sam was openly gay, right? Similarly to Sebastian, he had copper-coloured ripped trousers and chunky worn trainers, with little holes and the soles hanging on for their life. His laces were loose and undone and hang lazily around his feet as he walks up to you. 

“I invited the farmer by the way!” Abigail gleams.

“Important question” he greets you without introduction, “are you any good at pool? I like desperately need to beat Sebby” he leans in to whisper the last part to you.

“You not gonna fucking beat me,” Sebastian grabs a cue stick with vigour, “and stop calling me Sebby”. 

“Those are your last words, Darcy!” Sam also grabs onto a cue stick, just the wrong way round. He spends a second flipping it before the two begin to set up the game and collect the pool balls together. 

“Ohhh, surname drop, scary shit” Abigail giggles, “you want a drink Player?” she turns into the entrance to the main part of the Saloon. “Yeah sure, any cider is fine.” You plop down on the blue sofa adjacent to the pool table and sigh as the pressure is relieved from your lower legs. Abigail heads to the bar to grab your drinks, “Seb?” she pokes her head through the door. “Usual” he isnt concentrating on her request as he puts the white ball. You get a little comfortable and pull your legs up to sit cross-legged on the right corner of the sofa, watching Sam get easily destroyed. 

You decide to sift through your rucksack as the two idly chat and bicker about the game, standing your pick up against the right arm of the sofa you search through the contents of your bag. 

“Are you guys into rocks?”

“What?” Sebastian puzzles you. 

“Like… gems and stuff” You awkwardly respond. Your social skills seemed to crumble in the presence of this dude. 

“Dude! Did you find any amethyst?” Abigail seemingly jumps out of nowhere with three pint glasses held between her two palms. She manages to balance them on the side table, spilling some of the contents in excitement.

“Huh” you struggle in the bag for a second, before you triumphantly hold out a glowing amethyst rock, with cracked and rough edges and sparkling dots of glassy crystal. “Here, you can have it if you want” you gesture to her. You smile awkwardly “Sorry it's not polished or anything, its kinda dirty-”

“I seriously love this! Thank you dude” She grabs the crystal out of your hand and holds it up to the dim hanging lights of the saloon. “It actually looks way cooler like this, I already have polished and tumbled rocks anyway” she gleams at you. “No problem! I'm glad you like it” you awkwardly grinned at the approval from the violet-haired alternative girl. 

You catch Sebastian peering at you from the corner of his eye, Sam is saying something about ordering a pizza from Gus but his words seem to slip away from you as you try to follow Sebastian's eyes trying to peer in your bag.

“Yes Sam, we’ll order a damn pizza” she throws him a couple of coins as her contribution. “But Seb paid last time so the rest is on you”.

“Oh”, you exclaim, fumbling in your pockets “here” you pass Sam some coins.

“Thank you my good sir!” he grabs the coins and wanders into the main bar.

“Oh cool!” Abigail reaches into your bag and pulls out a handful of quartz gems “Seb he got quartz! You like these” She inspects each one and their individual shape in the bleary yellow light of the bar. “Do you want one?” you ask meekly, Sebastian looks for a moment as if he wants to say yes but can't. “Here” you gesture to the small pile of quarts in Abigail’s hands “choose one”.

“I can't, they’re yours” he taps his boot against the leg of the pool table, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. “Seriously,” you take the few crystals and walk up to Seb, he was taller than you and lankier, but still gentle and didn't appear intimidating in any sense of the word. His body was mostly engulfed in his big hoodie, with oversized sleeves and slim hands. His black nail polish was visibly chipped, you guess from biting or picking, and he reaches out for a smaller, shiny chipped quartz rock. “Thanks”. The quartz dazzles faintly in his dark eyes. His eye bags were harsh but softened on his face by the dreamy glaze his eyes had, his eyelashes were thick and his dark eyebrows always furrowing, almost as if he didn't know how to reciprocate the affection. 

“Consider it thanks for the bandages” you place in his hands and your fingers brush again for a second, it's hot in the room, and you can't tell if it's just you. 

“Your boy has ordered the pizza!” Sam stuns you out of your daze with Sebastian as he barrels into the room triumphantly.

“Cool!” you awkwardly shimmy back into your position on the worn sofa, next to Abigail who gives you a sly glare. Sebastian almost embarrassingly shoves the quartz into his hoodie pocket. 

You spend the rest of the evening with the trio chatting and playing pool, Abigail formally introduces you to the arcade machine of Journey of the Praire King and the two of you struggle to beat some of the higher levels for quite some time, you're eventually interrupted by Emily coming in to serve your extra large pizza and the four of you share it. 

“Ah shit guys,” Abigail says mid pizza bite, “I gotta go, my dad is mega pissed I'm not home yet”. 

“It's only 9?” you ask as if it's a question, “is that late?”

“Not for you, city boy” Sebastian sarcastically responds, not even looking up from his phone as he comments.

“Yeah, well. It's not super late” Abigail grabs her bag and tries to finish the last of her pint “but my dad is kind of an asshole” she slams the glass on the side table.

“I would disagree, he let me use your wifi for like a week” you giggle.

“ Oh, so that's why I couldn't fucking stay in a game lobby for more than, 10 minutes” she scowls playfully.

“Hmhm!” You shove another slice of pizza in your mouth.

“Trust me Player I will return to steal your wifi, that's a promise”.

You snickered at this, “sure thing, there's like nothing to do in my house though so good luck”.

“Whatever!” she exclaims dramatically, making her way towards the door, “see ya losers!” and she whisks away to walk to Pierre's shop. 

“I should also probably head home soon-” Sam had eaten far more than the rest of you but it didn't bother you. He seemed to be devouring it with great enjoyment. “I promised my mum I would take Vincent to Pennys and help her with their reading class tomorrow”.

“Ugh, responsibilities” Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Ok, your 24 and you live in your mum's basement so-”

“Fuck off Sam at least I have a real job”

“I'll have you know working one shift a week at jojamart is the realist job ever” he grabs a slice of pizza as he stands “bye Player! Bye fuckface!” he chuckles

“Bye train tracks”

Sam just flips Sebastian off as he leaves. 

Sebastian finally looks up from his phone and grabs the last slice of pizza as he does so, “cigarette?”

“If you're offering” you both stand, you gather the group's glasses and plates and place them on the sidebar as you leave, “thanks Gus” and you both walk out of the Saloon into the dreary night to share a cigarette.

Chapter Text

Spring was passing by like a gentle breeze as you adjust to your country life in Pelican Town. You had finally got electricity and gas fitted into your cabin, and the wifi router was installed too, but you had yet to actually find use out of it as signal seemed sparse among the farm. Even so, you were incredibly busy with planting crops, foraging and fishing. All of which you were trying to improve on at once in an attempt to reclaim the majesty of a reputation your grandfather once had. It was fucking hard.

Leaving your cabin and locking the door with your rusty little key, you gleefully find your mailbox flag tipped upwards to indicate new mail. Skipping over and opening the small tin door you find a folded piece of paper in the classic scribbling of Mayor Lewis. It read that he had missed you in town recently, but next week was the flower dance event and in a very persuasive manner the scribbled writing advises you that you should visit Emily for your suit fitting for such festival. 

Suit fitting?  

You frankly had no idea that this was even a festival here despite visiting many times in your life. You guessed that your blurry and random memories of town events must have included this one somewhere and you just didn't actually know, but you were certainly intrigued by the idea of wearing specific costumes for the festival. And then your anxiety struck, and you realised that Emily may have to approach uncomfortably close to take proper measurements of you. “I knew I was gonna have to start wearing that packer again” you almost groan at the aspect. You hadn't worn the thing for a while. You had worn it a lot through your early transition as it alleviated a lot of your dysphoria before you started testosterone, but no one actually really paid that much attention and if they did; the stubble on your chin and surgically altered chest were convincing enough to not make them question it. So you stopped feeling the need to shove an uncomfortably awkward piece of plastic between your legs. 

But this was different, Emily would quite literally be making contact with your inner thighs and legs in an attempt to get measurements for this wonderful flower dance suit, and you knew that was going to be more than awkward if she realised there was nothing there while doing so. It was only for a bit, you pondered, then you can shove it back in the chest of draws and forget about it. Hopefully. 

You were honestly already confused by the egg festival. I mean, kids hunted easter eggs in their house and stuff back in Zuzu, but there wasn't an entire festival dedicated to the sport. Still, you never said no to an excuse to eat an abundance of Gus’ cooking. It was really good. And the egg festival wasn't that bad, everyone chattered away and drank suspicious punch while the kids buzzed for the egg hunt. And by kids, you meant Vincent, Jas and Abigail . The girl was just really honest about the fact she loved this egg hunt every year and you appreciated the realness. You wondered if these town festivals would get boring fast, I mean there were two in the space of a few months of being here. Would you really have to endure the formalities of town events if this pattern continued?

At least Sebastian was going, or you assumed so, his parents seemed to make him come to these things. 

You gathered the letter and tossed it in your bag, you had some errands to run in the town so you thought you might just get this suit fitting over with anyway. You wrench the tap on the outside hose to fill up your water bucket by the porch and begin to water your crops. You complete your daily chores at the farm before heading back inside to fit your packer and head out to the town square.

You rattled the little golden knocker of 2 Willow Lane gently against the oak door, the house was quaint and characteristic, with its white vertical panelling and oak beams. It had small brown tiles and a large open craftsman-style window in the front, it seemed bright and clean within the house with a small desk pressed up against the window and a white sewing machine sitting idly, it seemed like a nice place to work. Above the door was a shimmering, reflective golden sun ornament that seemed to stare at you while you waited. To your right side were little potted plants and dribbles of soil around the front garden, little silver digging spades were left sitting up against a large cactus pot.

The door creaked open hesitantly, “Yes?” and what you thought was Hayley Larson was on the other side.

“Hi Hayley!” you really hoped you had gotten that right . “Is Emily in? Lewis told me to come see her for the flower dance… suit fitting?” You cringed a little, there was always something so terribly awkward about broaching a topic you were unfamiliar with. I mean, what if Hayley had no idea what you were on about and told you to fuck off?

“Oh, yeah, I guess” she reluctantly opened the door. She didn't really invite you in, but she stepped back with her phone in one hand, “you gonna come in or what?”.

“Oh, yeah”. Wow if anything reminded you of your terrible school experience, it was the attitude of Hayley Larson. Quite oppositely to her immediate character, she was a beautiful sight, with a soft rosy face and defined cheekbones. She had pursed lips with glimmering coral lipstick and winged eyeliner with soft blue eyeshadow. Her eyelashes fluttered with thick mascara and her hair was gorgeously set in the light. Her honey blonde curls were supple and reflective, each strand was placed perfectly on her head and it was long down to her lower back with a middle parting. She wore a frilly blue strap top with an ocean bead necklace and a taffy pink pleated miniskirt. Her brilliant blue eyes seemed to bore into you for a moment as you awkwardly step into the room. She seems to watch you start to take your boots off and then steps back into the house, she struts up to a little oak door in the kitchen space, down a hall and starts pummelling the door with her fist and acrylic nails.

“Em! The farmer dude is here for you! Hellloooo?” she hammers relentlessly on the door for a moment longer right until Emily swings it wide open.

“Chill Hayley!” Emily puts her hands up defensively before Hayley simply walks away back into the front room, where you awkwardly stood waiting, and into the back door leading to what you guessed was her room. She closed it with force, being suspiciously close to a slam.

“Hello, friend!” Emily beams into the room, “sorry about Hayley, she's just a grumpy teenager” you tuck your boots to the side. “No problem!” you chuckle “it must be hard being 18” you laugh in jest with the blue-haired woman. She was bright and cheery and lifted your spirits just with her presence, she had similarities to her sister: they both had soft faces with small pursed lips and you felt as if even though they seemed so different on the surface it was not so difficult to guess they may be siblings on a second look. “She's struggling a bit right now”, Emily continues, “this is her first year not being in school after graduation. She doesn’t really know what she wants in life”. She leads you into the kitchen and fills the kettle before popping it on the stove. “So she's grumpier than usual, tea?” she interrupts her own rambling to offer you a drink.

“I wouldn't mind actually! You felt a little more sympathetic for the younger blonde girl, you similarly remember the many mood swings your own identity crisis caused you. 

Emily had wide and cheery eyes, just like her sister, but instead of a bright blue, they were a caramel colour. Emily had loud and glittery lilac eyeshadow and subtle eyeliner on the top and bottom of her eyelids. With big hoop earrings and cherry red lipstick, she poured you a cup of tea in a polka dot mug. Her hair was jagged and spikey, shaped in a wolf-cut style around the back of her neck and ears. It was a deep lapis blue with chocolate brown roots pushing out from her scalp if you looked close enough. As she moved and chattered around the kitchen you notice she has a shaved undercut beneath the layer of hair around her neck. Her lipstick matched her shirt dress in a loud red. With a little mesh collar and big pillowy sleeves. The top half was wrapped in a red fabric tie knotted around the front of her waist as the bottom half flourished out into a frilly, loose dress, which swayed and floated around her legs as she moved.

“So what can I help you with Player?” she hands you the mug and you cup it gently with both hands, “oh! Lewis sent me to you for my suit fitting?” you question, “for the flower dance?”.

“Oh brilliant! I can't wait to make a new suit! I haven't made one for a couple of years since no one has outgrown theirs… yet” she grins menacingly as she grabs your hand, “follow me!” she swings you by your arm directly into the next room under a rounded arch. Here you saw the small office you spotted in the window. There were shelves and cupboards filled with yarn, stitches, buttons and rolls of fabric across the entire room. A dress mannequin stood in the left corner, with an unfinished dress hemmed up by pins on its material body.

“So!” she clapped, “if you give me a moment to grab my measuring tape, we’ll start right away”. She begins running around the room as you mousily sip your tea in both hands, you feel like she's whizzing around the room in a spin with you as its centre as she pulls material, notebooks and pencils out of her desk draws. 

“Ok!” she declares, “your gonna need to stand up straight and wide, so I can measure everything up. Shouldn't take us more than 10 minutes”.

“Sure” you try not to wince at her immediate dive into touching and grabbing your arms to hold them up to the measuring tape. “So what is this suit supposed to look like again?”

“It is a stunning baby blue my friend!” she proudly declares again, “it's a town tradition, there is a dress for the ladies as well!” you squirm as she pulls tightly on the tape around your waist. “I try to personalise each outfit for everyone, is there anything you'd like stitched on your front pocket maybe?” the last part of her sentence is muffled by her holding the corner of her pencil in her mouth as she begins to hold up the tape to your legs.

The opportunity to personalise your suit gave you a smidgen of a distraction as she measure the inside of your legs, “yeah actually I think there might be”. 

You step out of the Larson household frazzled, to say the least. Emily is a kind soul to be sure, but an incredibly energetic one at that. As soon as you exit the door you glance over to the big front window, only to see Emily giving you a cheesy smile and a big thumbs up as she works away on her sewing machine. You had quite literally only left and the girl was at work immediately, you hope she gets more appreciated for her dedication to her tailoring. 

Well, that was the biggest errand off of your chore list. You had delivered some copper to Clint as per his pinned board request outside of Pierres and donated a few gems to Gunther in the museum in the morning. You had something else to do, which was less of a chore and more of a personal gain, and it was to pick up your first prescription from Harvey. 

He had let you know a week ago that your files had finally gotten in and you could pick up your first testosterone shot from the clinic today, it was thoroughly exciting and similarly relieving. You had worried that this whole time maybe he was unable to have it shipped or sent and you would lose the progress you had made so far in your transition. You tried to calmly walk towards the clinic, despite overflowing with only what you could describe as utter exhilaration, and head inside.

You have to hold yourself back from swinging the glass door open by the handle as you enter.

Sebastian glances back at you as he leans against the counter, with no one behind it.

Why the fuck is Sebastian here of all times.

“Hey” he glances back, looking almost just as surprised as you. 

“Hi” you edge forward, your momentum lost as you stand on the other side of the desk. Sebastian seems to forget to respond with more small talk as he stares forward past the desk, perhaps he's hoping that'll make you disappear. 

There was something about the atmosphere that was so tense and mountainous, it was so thick you could cut with a knife. It surely made sense for you to feel that way, but you weren't sure why you were similarly feeling it utterly radiating off of the other boy in the room with you. 

“Hello, boys!” Harvey tumbles into the room from the staff door behind the counter, and the tension seems to tumble away like dust dissipating and floating away. “Both here for your prescriptions?”

“Yes?” you ask unsure. Sebastian reinforces this with a simple nod. 

“One moment, yes?” Harvey turns to the small counters behind his desk chair and takes out two small brown paper bags. He checks the label and hands one to you, while he hands the other to Sebastian. Both exactly the same in size and shape, you both seem to grab the bags in exact sync. Tussling with your bag to get it inside, you watch Sebastian in the corner of your eye awkwardly do the same with his pocket. 

“And your prescription form for both of them” Harvey slips across two identical little green papers and two pens. Of which you both grab one each and sign your name and date, alongside the ticked boxes of which applied. You peer over almost unwillingly to watch Sebastian write “ Sebastian Darcy ” in small and joined writing. While you write the same, “ Player Feldman ” in yours. 

“Thanks, Harv!” you slip him the paperback a little too eagerly across the desk and turn to open the door with absolute intensity and frightening strength as if your life depended on it. This town has 28 people in it and you managed to run into Sebastian in the clinic while collecting your fucking testosterone shot…

You really felt like running away or just yelling into the air or some shit. Anything to rid you of this. You were going to blow your cover if you keep ending up in these situations. You decide your best course of action is to pace directly down the stony dirt path back to your farm and hide on your land for the rest of the day. You look back as you pass the fence out of your damned curiosity, only to see Sebastian standing by the doors and watching you curiously as you trot away.

Chapter Text

Running your fingertips over the stitching on the pocket of your suit, you wondered whether this was a good idea. Standing in the mirror, you kept checking the fitting of your blazer and tugging at the sides of the fabric to make sure it all fell into place somewhat comfortably. It fit all right and was perfectly snug, but even then in your mind, you were so utterly critical of how it had to look. How it needed to look for you to feel masculine enough, that even when there was nothing about you that looked remotely feminine anymore your brain still squirmed and writhed and convinced you everyone would be able to tell you were… off.

Dysphoria was difficult because you spent your whole life feeling this way. Your body always felt like an intolerable mess. You felt like that much less now, and many days, you got along with yourself. But there was still that looming, excruciating and dreadful feeling of not feeling okay despite taking all of the “right steps”.

Today was especially one of those days, and it didn't help that you were about to be in a new and awkward social situation to add on top of it. Your need for performance was vehement today and you really could not stand to be in some fancy outfit, dancing with a bunch of people you simply did not know. Not to mention that the flower dance was a culturally important spring solstice festival for the town, something you'd imagine had been practised for many years well before your time. The egg festival felt streamlined and familiar, like a distant relative's birthday party, but this felt much more like a test of your initiation into Pelican Town. 

When Emily had asked you about any customisations to your suit, she had mentioned it was common for most people to get flower designs of personal choice. You had arguably made the stupid choice of asking for white and pink flowers stitched onto your chest pocket. So that with the silky blue of the suit and the subtle lined stitches you would look like a walking pride flag to anyone looking close enough. At the time you thought it would be fine, and no one would notice, but then you realised that all most anyone could potentially recognise the colour combination even if it was a subtle gesture. You hoped it was subtle enough that if they did see, it might not be enough to prove anything. The guy might just like pink, white and blue, right?

It was a choice made in confidence that was now being reviewed in pessimism.

Grabbing your phone from the side table and playing with your hair one more time you went into the living room to pull your boots on. You knew they weren't the fanciest shoe attire but you really hadn't considered investing in a pair of formal shoes, and instead, you had done your best to clean and polish your black boots. Your legs were stilled scarred and scratched from the mines in previous weeks, but much less so now, and you felt like almost everything was healed.

Having no idea what to expect from this flower dance (besides the idea of getting a dance partner, which you didn't even wanna think about right now) you checked your pockets for all of your basic essentials like the house keys and a bottle opener to drown your anxiety and left. The walk from your cabin to the brush of trees and woodland at the south of your farm was longer than usual, and you hoped the whole night wouldn't play out that way.

You were vaguely directed to where the clearing was supposed to be, and you spotted the little dirty trail leading into the woods to the west behind the wizard's tower. You also spotted Leah Murphy trying to carry what looked like an easel and a portfolio bag just a way in front of you.

“Leah!” 

“Oh hey, Player” she turns a little surprised, “nice to see I'm not the only one late.”

“Are you carrying your entire painting set right now?” 

“Yes,” she laughed, her dimples creasing as she smiled at you, “I thought I would do some live painting but I'm struggling to carry all of my stuff”.

Leah was standing before you with a stunningly white linen dress on, it had flowers embroidered in wonderful colours all along the bottom hem of the skirt, with a little lace pulling in the fabric at the waist with string straps over her broad shoulders. She had strong and defined arms, and a brilliant height, she was much taller than you. Similarly, she was radiant and bright with pale skin covered from head to toe in freckles. She was wearing pale coral lipstick and dusty blush. Her hair was long, with strands fraying around her face and behind her ears despite her best attempt to tuck it all away in a long and glorious plait. Her hair was a fiery red with marigold streaks that sparkled in the spring sun. She was wearing mossy green nail varnish and a thick knitted cardigan to match over the strappy dress. With her satchel bag pulled over her shoulder (filled with paints you could only assume) she was carrying a huge easel under one arm and a canvas folder in the other. Beaming at you as she always did with her lilted gentle voice and blurry turquoise eyes. 

“Let me help you!” you extend your arms out, and she thanks you as she drops the easel in your possession. You lunge the thing over your shoulders and stabilise it with two hands as you hobble behind her into the forest clearing. She seems a little more relieved that she has a helping hand, and she gently smiles at you as she leads you into the trail. 

“I like your flowers” she nods towards the stitching on your pocket, and you feel as if you might drop the fucking easel as she points them out. 

“Oh- thanks.” 

She simply turns away and keeps walking, panic begins to set in and sweat dribbles from your face. This was going to be a long day. 

“Player! I’m so glad you got here, I see that Emily fitted you up nicely, you look wonderful!” Lewis potters over to you and starts patting down your shoulders as your grandfather used to, it felt a little strange to be admired in such a way but you accepted the nice compliment on your suit. You would have started your usual chit chatter and hellos to the other residents but today felt especially gloomy, it felt more difficult than usual to put on a wide smile and act as if you were enjoying the abundance of social interaction around you. You wave and smile gently to others if you came close enough but primarily tried to enjoy the isolated beauty of the event.

Despite all of the talking, singing and people the actual event itself was stunning. The sun was beaming and smiling down through the trees of the Cindersap forest into the cheery clearing. It was almost like this little patch was made for such an event, but it was just a simple clearing that now lay home to the solstice festival. Everyone adorned such beautiful outfits. While there were two distinct outfits of the suit and dress, each outfit was personalised to its wearer. Haley's dress was short, with frilled pleats and a silky underslip with little white slip-on shoes. While Emily travelled to the event in tow in a glamorous dress. It was dripping flare in its size, it had huge pillowing sleeves and she had little looping stitched patterns all around the bottom of the skirt. They were all stunning reds, pinks, corals and oranges. It was only while watching her twirl around with a punch cup you realised the colours were that of the lesbian flag. 

Even the elders of the town came in colour-coordinating outfits. You said hello to George and Evelyn who came dressed and ready. George was wearing a traditional suit and tie in the baby blue while Evelyn wore a long silky slip-like dress with a blue knitted shawl over her shoulders. Marnie was wearing a sheath-style dress that looked like it was ripped straight out of the 60s, the classical style seemed to fit perfectly on the older woman. She was wearing a little blue crescent fascinator hat of the same fitted cotton as her dress, she was standing with Jas and Shane. Jas had a beautiful little white dress with blue trainers while Shane simply wore a slightly creased longsleeved dress shirt and blue trousers with a punch cup in hand. Marnie smiles at you warmly with the softness of a mother, which you reciprocated gladly. 

Finally, after wandering around the small clearing and giving friendly waves to the other residents, you see Sam waving over to you hidden away beyond the treeline. You huddle into the forest, skipping over a small bush and walking into the trees. There you saw the trio huddled away up against the base of a huge oak tree, smoking cigarettes and trying to get away from the noisy crowd. 

“Oh so this is where you fucked off too huh?” you suddenly feel a weight lifted from your chest as if the anticipation of the social event fizzled away. The three were definitely a source of comfort during the new move, your new friends you might even say. I mean you would hope so since Sam was just invited into the little ditch they were hiding away in. 

Sam rushes over for a high five, “of course! You think I wanna be out there where my mum can see my every move?” he laughs. 

“To be fair, I think our parents are too busy to even notice were not there. I know my dad is, all he cares about is his damn stall.” Abigail vents a little as she invites you down to sit, you worry for a second about the muddy grass on your suit but you decide to worry about it later. Sam had his hair slicked up in classic fashion, but his blazer jacket seemed nowhere to be found. Instead, he was wearing a short-sleeved white shirt with a little blue suit vest with a select collection of pin badges dotted around the collar. You noticed now that he was wearing some glittery blue eyeshadow and had silver earrings. 

“I like your makeup, Sam!” You beam.

“Done by the one and only!” Abigail piped in again, you noticed also her makeup was more dramatic today. You also realised that over her simple white linen dress she was wearing Sam's suit jacket. 

“You guys look really good!” You added. 

They both thanked you, Sams was more boastful while Abigail just begrudgingly accepted the compliment. 

You had hoped Sebastian would say hello, or nod in the usual fashion, but his head was still dug into his phone with great persistence. “Hey Seb” You nodded in an attempt to get a hello back. He simply held up a hand to wave slightly as if that was enough to acknowledge your presence. He was wearing the blue suit like everyone else, with scruffy black converse trainers and painted nails. 

“Sorry these guys are so grumpy” Sam yawned while grabbing a yoyo out of his pocket, “they're being made to dance and it's kind of funny”. He started swinging the yoyo up and down and catching it in his hand.

“It's not fucking funny Sam, my dad wouldn't even let me add anything to my dress, and mum literally chose it for me!” Abigail almost sounded like she was growling at the last part. “I wanted to wear a fucking suit man, I hate this stupid white dress, I feel like I'm being forced to parade around like a doll.”

“Ah shit, my parents were like that. I'm sorry-” you tried to be sympathetic to the girl, those days were long behind you after you moved out of your parents but you definitely knew the feeling. 

“And my mum told me I'm literally grounded unless I dance with a guy. Like, Emily was going to dance with me and my mum literally told me if I danced with Emily she would take my phone for a week, like what? I’m not even into Emily! It's just because Emily is a lesbian and mum thinks if she cuts me off from gay people that's gonna make me straight somehow… asshole” She muttered the last part under her breath, almost exhausted from the whole ordeal. 

“Uh yeah, that's the dilemma” Sam started, short of time before Abigail looked like she was gonna explode again. “Abi and Seb’s parents both told them they have to dance right? But like, there's only me. So if me and Abigail dance together its fine and her mum and dad will shut up, but then Seb is gonna get in trouble for not dancing-”

“This is so fucking stupid, I'm literally 24” Seb snapped. “This festival is so dumb. Demetrius basically held the fact that I was living there over my head to try and get me to go. I can't dance with Maru because she said she was gonna dance with Harvey already - so I'm fucked.” he sighs, taking a drag of his cigarette before turning his phone off. “If I don't do it, Mum and Demetrius won't shut up about it. And I can't be asked to deal with that at home. And the worse thing is I'm a grown adult, If I want to dance I will. I don't need my fucking parents telling me what to do.” his ramble seemed to fizzle out as he let out his frustrations in one long ramble, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. “Like fuck, your mum lets you keep your room while you save for a deposit and her shitty husband gets on your case all the time, how does that work?” 

“I mean, if you guys need an extra dance partner I can do it.”

“No one asked you yet?” Sam listened hopefully. 

“Fuck no, who would want to” you laughed, “if one of you needs a partner I’ll do it, but like I literally don't know the dance.”

“It's not that,” Seb frustratedly responds, he seems flustered as he gathers his thoughts “it's, its the fact that I'm being made to do it, you know?.” He looks away, taking another drag.

Just as he finished his sentence, a bell rang out beyond the clearing and struck the four of you in a daze. It seemed to whip tension in the air between the group, Abigail simply groaned. 

“Well shit, time to dance Abi!” Sam lifts himself up energetically and drags Abigail with him. 

“Let's get it over with”

“Or we could bust some sick dance moves? You wanna breakdance?”

Abigail giggled a little at the prospect. “Sure thing short stack”

“Hey! You can't call me short! You're just stupid tall, dumbass”.

“Whatever, you coming with?” Abigail turns to you and Seb is still sitting in the grass. 

“Let me put this out” Seb leans over to finish the last of the cigarette while Abigail and Sam make their way out of the woods and into the clearing. You could see through the light in the trees the groups of people gathering together and getting their partners. You watched Leah and Elliot walk arm in arm, similarly to Alex and Haley. 

You stand awkwardly and for some reason, nervously, as Sebastian kicks his cigarette butt into the grass and stands adjacent to you, you both look at each other for a second. The air was thick and the atmosphere stung with anxiety. But it wasn't like the time you first met in the Bankes kitchen or the doctor's office, it was a fluttering anxiety that filled your core in a wave of warmth. It felt as if Sebastian's resentment towards his parents slithered away as you both looked at each other expectantly, maybe he was feeling the fluttering too? 

“So, are you going to dance? I really don't mind-”

“Are you just asking me for my parent's sake or … or are you asking me to dance?”

Your breath fell short like it was clinging to the edge of release.

“If um, I mean.” you paused to gather the words in order “do you want to dance with me?”

“Dude, you can't just ask me what I asked you” his nervous glare started to crease into an awkward smile.

You chuckle, “well I just did so-” you sink a deep breath inwards. “I guess that means we want to dance with each other?”

His face starts to light up in a rose blush, his ears going bright with anticipation and his stance stiffening. “Yes?” he meekly responds, almost as if it's a question, you don't think he's sure. You're almost blown off your feet by the amount of conversation you just got from him, the two of you had developed a gentle friendship among the group, but you had never had such a starkly honest one-to-one. Even if you both were stumbling around like awkward idiots.

“Let's dance then” you simultaneously release all of the tension filled in your lungs and stomach like a tidal wave of relief. Sebastian simply nods and you walk alongside each other out of the forest edge and into the bubble of people noisily preparing for the dance. The gentle and quiet moment you just shared together felt like it was taking into effect all too fast, your stomach felt full and bubbling with a million butterflies as Sebastian stands at one side of the forming line and you shuffle your way into the other adjacent to him. He looks utterly terrified for a moment before you smile at him to try and ease your own worries. Sam gives you a thumbs up from a couple of places down the line and Abigail smirks at him as if to challenge him, you thought maybe she would take him up on his ridiculous offer to breakdance. 

You glance back from Abigail and Sam to see Maru giving Sebastian the most audacious look which quickly grew into a cheeky grin, Seb seems to mentally tell her to shut up with a single glare as she turns back to Harvey. 

It feels as if for a moment you might tumble towards Sebastian as it feels like you're tripping over before you've even moved- everything stills and the chatter slows as the music begins to play. Ok, don't mess this up, just like step with your feet. Walking?? fuck. 

Your own thoughts are interrupted by the seamless movement of your line, you step forward together, and you reach out for Sebastian as does everyone else with their partners. He reaches out in pace and stumbles into your grasp. You hold onto each other's arms, it was only when you began to move your feet that you realised you actually had no idea how this part of the routine went - 

“Seb I have no idea what I'm doing” you whispered beneath the music.

“Just like, follow my steps?” he starts to snicker a little, “I haven't done this dance in 3 years Player”

You felt like bellowing out laughing, “were so fucked” you tripped over his foot exactly as you said this and the two of you started audibly laughing among the other dancers. Despite garnering few looks for your mess of a dance, you both didn't seem to notice. You were both slightly off-beat, and out of sync, but it was really funny. Leah and Elliot gave you both a wide smile as they pass, and Maru gives another daringly bold glare to Sebastian which makes you laugh even more. You both spin gently, attempting not to trip as you step around each other, Sebastian noticeably grips onto your arms from time to time as he concentrates on not stumbling. 

“Oh shit, there's a spin coming up” he mutters

“A what? Whos going to-”

Before you can even anticipate it, Sebastian spins you to a lilted, high note of instrumental folk music. He holds your hand in a grip and lifts it as he leads you into a spin, you seem to turn back to him seamlessly. You just start laughing again, “give me a warning Seb oh my god”

He looks like he's about to laugh again when you're quiet conversation is interrupted. The much louder and audacious laughing of Abigail and Sam ripples out among the dance group. You both turn your heads to see Abigail and Sam absolutely busting a move in the most atrocious way possible. The two are aggressively freestyling in the middle of the dance circle, they simply don't seem to care about Mayor Lewis becoming red in the face as Abigail's hip bumps Sam and they can't stop hollering like children. 

“Oh my god, they're idiots” Sebastian scowls playfully.

“What? You don't want in on that?” you asked cynically.

“Yeah, I'm glad I didn't dance with Sam" he shakes his head slightly, "that would have been a fucking mess”.

“Thanks” you grinned a little, and it frankly looked like Sebastian was going to melt as he registered what you had said. The pink began to swelter in his face again. The music began to fade and you lost the words to continue the interaction before you realise the group starts to dissipate back into the festival party, everyone was politely letting go of their partners and heading off to Gus' food stand or with their friends. You finally realise now you should probably let go of the taller boy, he steps back awkwardly and you both clearly lack enough social skills to keep the interaction afloat.

Luckily you didn't have to for long as Sam bundles over to you and envelopes you in a huge embrace "you guys looked so FANCY!" he practically yells the last part in your ear.

"Actually!" Abigail pulls up Sam's blazer around her, "we looked way fucking cooler" she folds her arms crossed against her chest in a cynical manner. "Can you fuckers dance like that? I think no-"

“Abigail Mercer!" 

The four of your heads spin to see Caroline Mercer storming towards you, she practically has to hold her classical white dress up from the floor as she thuds towards you, definitely not looking pleased with Abigail at all.

"You are such a child! Come here right now-”

“Shit” Abigail and Sam give you no time to think as they quite literally start sprinting out of the clearing and into the woods of the Cindersap forest. Sebastian turns to you "We should get them, right?" he asks you with weary and sleepy eyes.

"Probably"

and with that, you and Sam head off into the woods following Sam and Abigail. The other residents of the party watch eagerly as the four of you escape the wrath of Caroline Mercer.

Chapter Text

You’re running, from Caroline Mercer that is - who you may have infuriated by taking off with her daughter and friends like teenagers getting up to no good.

Abigail had taken off into the forest first, Sam sprinting along behind her in an attempt to catch up. Her dress was thrown back and forth as she very ungraciously jumps through the woody brushes and into the trees. Sam hikes his legs up over the bushes to follow and after some quick decision-making between you and Sebastian, you’re both following, trekking dirt all over your suits as you escape. Sebastian trips as you both follow your friends, his knees covered in mud and grass “oh shit” he winces annoyed. “Hey” you gesture your hand out for him to take, “I think we’re losing them” your face creases into a goofy smile as he awkwardly takes your hand to pull himself up and you drag each other along.

The four of you keep going for a good minute, slowing slightly as the group realises that you don't know where you’re going.

“Oh I’m so fucked” Abigail giggles as she pulls Sam's jacket around her, “but this is so fun” she nearly trips as she passes the roots of a huge oak tree. The Cindersap forest was a vast and encompassing force of nature, its roots lay everywhere even in the centre of town and it ran for miles beyond what you could even dream of reaching. Not to mention it had been here for thousands of years, you imagined the thousands of people who had also trekked through it in the generations of this town. Including your grandfather. While lost in thought, you feel a gentle tug against you and realise you and Sebastian had been awkwardly holding hands this whole time. You look at your hands, then shoot a glance back up to see Sam giving a confused but cheeky look between the two of you. “So uh,” you snatch your hands into your pockets for deniability, as Seb begins to fidget with his tie awkwardly. “You guys wanna go my place?”

“Sure!” Sam smiles, and Abigail nods while still laughing - holding her stomach. “Do you know how to get there from here?” Sam chuckles.

“Shit” your face drops, realising despite your many memories here you had no idea how to get back to your farm without going back to the clearing. You knew generally that the Cindersap Forest hugged your farmland from the South and West, but you didn't know how to get to the path or what direction exactly to go in. Seb simply steps forward, brushing his hair back “that way”.

“You know where my farm is?” you chuckle

“Yeah, I used to take walks there before you moved in”

“Because you're so cool and mysterious!” Sam cynically hugs Seb tight from behind, making a goofy face as the group walks.

“Shut up” Seb bats away his hands, “how is it edgy to go on walks”

“Seb I think everything you do is edgy just by default” Abigail pipes in,

“Says you!” he gasps while lighting up a cigarette. Abigail responds by blowing a raspberry in response.

“You’re always welcome to keep doing it… if you want” you shrug gingerly, “I really don't mind.”

Sebastian looks over, you're walking next to each other again as he takes a long drag of his cigarette before stuttering an “ok”. You sit in uncomfortable silence for a moment, the only noise being the group's staggered steps over the bumpy woodland terrain. “Here,” Sebastian points, “the path over there. It should bring us to the bottom of Elderfern”.

You finally find the solace of your farm, the trees begin to become sparse and the farm is in clear view. “Gah” you sigh, “I’m sorry it's still a mess. It was a mess when I got here I mean–”

“Don’t worry dude!” Sam laughs, “I don’t think any of us cares if your farm looks pretty. We all still live at our parents” Abigail scoffs while pushing her hair back. “Not my choice!”. “Neither” Seb butts in. You smile, wondering if their parents are as bad as yours. It felt mean to regard the group as ‘immature’, but realistically you had the great pleasure of going through life a bit earlier, and sometimes you forgot that most people barely turning 20 haven’t been independent for years of their life yet. The bottom of your trouser legs was caked in mud and wet soil, your farm boots were handling it better but it looked as if your poor suit may not return from such an atrocity.

“You guys are lucky I actually have wifi now. And electricity” you try to raise the tone.

“Oh, what luxuries you have!” Abigail waved her hands about in a dramatic manner.

You lead the group up through your farm, you could see your cabin in the distance from the pond you were passing, at one point Sebastian nearly walked head-first into a ditch covered in leaves and you had to grab his forearm to direct him before he fell. That made things just awkwarder, you run up to your porch and get your keys out while attempting to kick off some dirt on the welcome matt. You look down on yourself, and then at Seb, Sam and Abigail all covered in dirt somewhere. “I’ll grab us some clothes or something” you crease into a little chuckle as the group all realises how messy they’ve gotten themselves from running and playing in the Cindersap forest like children.

Seb enters behind you, he seems reserved more than he was before, gently rubbing his hands against his arms while taking in the environment. The cabin was a bit cosier now. It was no longer caked in dust and cobwebs and actually felt like someone lived there. There were still boxes stacked up in the room, mainly from cabinets and shelves you hadn't had the opportunity to build while trying to get yourself gas and electricity fixed. You run to open the curtains, letting the warm sun drape across the room. “Like I said, its kind of–”

“It's cosy” Seb insisted, “I mean. You still haven't finished moving in so--”

“Oh wow!” Abigail gasps, “It's cute in here! I mean I know it's a cabin but it's very rustic” she beams, looking around while taking her boots off.

“This just in Abigail Mercer discovers that a cabin looks like a cabin” Sam teases in a poorly done robot voice

“Oh fuck off Sam” she kisses her teeth, “I’ll get my sword on you!”

“Nooooo!” he jokingly creases over, as if he's been injured.

Sebastian lets out an unwilling chuckle, “you guys are dumb”.

“Ah yeah!” you remember, “Let me grab some clothes since we’re all very muddy” you smile.

Sebastian turns back to you looking a little uncomfortable but nods recognising that both of the knees of his trousers were covered in dirt.

“Please” Abigail sighs, “this dress is gonna kill me. I feel like I’m about to get married off”

“Don’t even say that because if you gave your mum half the chance she would!” Sam shakes his head while laughing.

You run into your room, pulling out a band t-shirt and some random tracksuit bottoms for Abigail, and then a pair of comfy shorts for Sam, piling them in your arms and bringing them out “You guys can get changed in my room if you want”

“I’m good!” Sam graciously takes the shorts “thank you!” and sits on the sofa while taking his trousers off. Abigail takes the t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms “you mind if I go in your bathroom?”

“Sure! No problem” you watch as she very happily skips away to get changed. “There should be some pyjamas or something in my draw” you lead Sebastian into your room. “But I didn’t know what you wanted” Sebastian looks over the drawer with mostly flannel and patterned bottoms. He reaches down and grabs a pair of red flannel pyjama bottoms, “thanks Player”. You awkwardly leave the room, “No probs!”

You let out the air you were holding in your chest, not that you realised you were holding your breath, however. Since you had met Sebastian your chest seemed to wound up whenever you stood alone for a moment, or when your eyes would awkwardly meet.

“Aha,” Sam holds his hand over his mouth. “Abi’s mum just text me, she's gonna lose her shit”

“I don’t know what her problem is” You wander over to the kitchen - “she's 20 right? I already moved out by the time I was that age.”

“Really?”

“Uhuh”

“I guess they do things differently in Zuzu. It's pretty normal to just live with your parents here” Sam turns around on the sofa with his head propped on the back of the seat to look at you. “It’s not like you can move into another house here - you kinda just gotta wait till you inherit your parent's place”.

“That sucks” you mumble, rummaging through your cupboards. You look back to Sam to see him carefully watching you. “You want something to eat? I got frozen pizza”

“Absolutely!” Sam gives you a thumbs up. You chuckle a bit, watching the careless boy lounge on the sofa with a wrinkled dress shirt and a pair of your shorts on. He was always carefree, a little goofy and nice to be around. You remember the first time you saw him he went knees first into the cobbled road while skateboarding and simply gave you a thumbs up when you cringed all the way from the other end of the street. Gleaming a little at the thought, you take a frozen pizza out of the bottom half of your freezer fridge and grab a case of beers. You looked around the counters and found a lighter on the side, this was Sebastian's right? You’d have to return that. But for now, you needed it to light up the stove, flicking it until it bore a flame for the gas stove to spit blue flames at you. You still weren’t used to not having an electric oven…

Speaking of which, Abigail comes through your bedroom door with Sebastian wearing your t-shirt and bottoms. “Hey!” she starts, “sorry we were looking at the photos of your grandpa. He was super cute” she gestures to the back wall of your bedroom that had a collage of frames from back when you were younger. “Oh cool” you smile, “yeah he was nice.” You go silent, not sure what else to say without entering a downward spiral of reminiscing about your grandpa which could only lead to tears. You pop the pizza in the oven and turn back, to see Sebastian hitting Abigail in the ribs with his elbow “Ow asshole” she recoils. “Sorry” he pushes back his hair a little, “she doesn't know when to shut up”.

“No it's ok!” you pause, looking at the taller boy as he stands with your flannel pyjama bottoms and a band t-shirt on. “Uh” he looks down at himself, fiddling with his hands. “I hope you don't mind I grabbed a t-shirt. The suit was really pissing me off”.

“Of course! Let me just grab something to wear” you leave the room of friends, as you hear them laugh and joke with each other in your living room. Your heart sinks, there are pictures of you on that wall and you completely forgot. You decompress, sitting on the bed and pulling off the suit. It still felt a little strange to wear typically masculine clothes sometimes. Not because you didn’t like them, you loved them in fact. But being in them in public always had your brain nagging. What if this is too much? What if they can tell? They know you're ‘off’.

You threw the suit jacket to the side, pulling the tie off aggressively and grabbing your sheets a little infuriated by your own lack of self-esteem. Do you ever shut up? Falling back with your arms to your sides, you looked up at the flimsy bulb light lighting the room up. You need to go back outside. Standing up and looking over to your set of drawers, the bottom drawer was left open with your t-shirts and… shit. Your old binders. You dive down, pushing them to the back you didn’t think about this before inviting people to your house, did you? You can feel the panic slowly begin to bubble in your chest, it's fine. You pull out a t-shirt and just hoped they didn’t notice or know what it was.

Looking back at the photos on the wall, you see the one smack in the middle of the collage of you and your grandpa. You were around 14, you had shaggy hair that was unkept and clearly cut by yourself. You remember your parents were absolutely furious, but grandpa said he loved it, no matter how hideous the actual haircut was. You were wearing a binder that was slightly too small for you and a baggy hoodie that you secretly bought in the men's section without your parents knowing. It was a cute photo, and while your grandpa was definitely still old he looked much more alive and younger than he had in the last few months before he passed. You gleamed at the photo, you were holding up a big fish you had caught and grandpa looked proud. But you definitely didn’t look like a 14-year-old boy, which was slightly concerning when you had guests over.

“Dude you have a VHS TV?” was the greeting you got from Sam when you re-entered the room.

“Yes!” you smiled, “It was my grandpa, he was never interested in anything a modern TV could give” you chuckle. “Old timer was old”.

“I think that's most of the old people in this place” Seb responds.

“Sebby your mum and Demetrius don’t count as elderly people, they’re in their 40’s”

“They certainly do to me, Abigail”

“Ew it's weird when you say that”

You laugh, dragging your pyjama bottoms over to your kitchen and taking a beer out of the case. “You guys want a drink?”

“Please!” Abigail reaches out as you slam the top of the bottle against the counter with a quick ‘snap’ of the cap coming off. “Here, I have no idea where my bottle opener is”. She takes a huge swig, looking emotionally tired while swiping on her phone. “Uh, sure I guess” Seb shrugs as you open three more bottles for the three of you.

“Wait” Sam points to your chimney and the little case of tapes next to it. “Please tell me that's old VHS movies, how cool would that be?!”

You run over, open the box and push the home movies to the side. “There's a couple!” You laugh, realising these were all the movies you told your grandpa you loved to watch together. “Oh my god! Labyrinths in here - you know that Jim Henson movie” you pull out the dusty VHS, with crumpled corners and the date ‘1999’ with the U rating slapped on the bottom. “Did you guys watch this?”

“Is that the David Bowie movie?” Seb smiles gently

“Yes!” you laugh, “I can’t believe you know it. Everyone else I talk to doesn't really like it”

“Are you joking? David Bowie was hot in that movie” and just as he grins it drops, realising what he said. Abigail bursts out laughing, “you thought David Bowie with that haircut and makeup was hot??”

“Yes.” he deadpans,

“You’re so gay, and I mean that literally” Abigail keeps laughing, falling back onto the arm of the chair she was sitting on.

“I mean… if it's Seb type it's probably my type” Sam gingerly smiles.

“So you guys are all gay?” your face creases into a happy but nervous smile.

“Lesbian” Abigail holds her hand up, “I love women” before clicking finger guns at you. “I and Sebby are very bisexual” Sam giggles, and Seb simply nods timidly.

“Same!” you pull your knees up to your chest, hugging them. You and Sebastian meet eyes again. Sharing a sly smile as if something clicked in your head. You could assume Sebastian was queer, I mean - you didn’t want to assume but the entire group seemed like outliers compared to the rest of this town full of the more traditional type. But now that you knew, it meant you probably had a better chance at acceptance if it ever came to them finding out.

“You guys wanna watch this then?” you hold the VHS up, and the group responds with a yes. You pop the tape in and dust off the inside of the tape slot before shuffling back to the sofa chair. Sam was sprawled out on the right side, with Abigail leaning back on the left armchair - the two of them leaning into each other. Sebastian was sitting on the floor beneath Sam, with a back propped up against his back and leaning against one of Sam's legs. You shuffle up beside him in the only space left underneath Abigail. Your arms are awkwardly touching, it was strange to think you’d danced together just this afternoon and now you were too awkward to break his reserved stare to the TV on the floor. It had only been a month and a half into Spring but the emo boy who was technically your neighbour was far more enticing than anyone else you’d seen. It was a shame he’d probably never be interested in a trans dude.

Your eyes begin to flutter, there's a soft blue glow emanating from the TV in the dark room. The lights are off and the curtains are still open but the room is deathly quiet. What were you doing earlier? Why where you sitting on the floor? Oh yeah. Sam, Sebastian and Abigail were around your house. You raise your head, to see Sam and Abigail asleep on the sofa chair leaning up against each other - the spot where Sebastian had been sitting was empty. Oh shit, did he go home? You get up, letting out a groan as your sore back clicks into place. You see out of your front window towards your porch there are small trails of smoke. Ah, smoking. You gently push open your front door, letting a draft enter the cabin before slipping out and closing it behind you.

“Hey” you mutter, sitting on the steps where Sebastian was sitting in your pyjamas. “You ok?”

He jumps, “shit hi” he looks back, coughing a little as he takes a drag of his cigarette. You sit next to him. “I think I’m gonna head home soon”

“Oh, sure” you give a weak smile, disappointed.

“I just have a deadline for work tomorrow” he defends, handing you the cigarette. “Tonight was. Good” it’s almost like he didn't know how to be vulnerable with you, or maybe he didn’t want to admit that he liked your company.

You take a drag, “it wasn't much, just pizza, beers and a shitty movie” you laugh.

“About that” he smiles awkwardly, “sorry for falling asleep on you”

You hold your hand up to your mouth. “You fell asleep on me?”

“Oh my god” he cringes like he's made a dramatic realisation. “You didn’t know” he buries his head in his hands. You also start to cough while taking a drag, “you just snitched on yourself” you giggled. He lifts his head up, his mop of head over his face but you could still spot an embarrassed blush flushing his face. “Here” you pass the cigarette.

He stands. “Thanks for making this shitty holiday fun Player. It was less boring this year.”

You smile, “can't take a compliment can you?”

“No, not really - oh and I’ll return the clothes at some point.”

“Sure” you smile at each other. He stands there for a moment, in the cold with the moon above your heads. It's like he doesn’t want to leave, but eventually, he waves and starts walking towards the back mountain path that connects your houses. Shit, his lighter.

You jump up and open the door, snatching the lighter off of the counter and jogging out into the cold after him. You make it just up the mountain pathway before spotting him. “Seb!” you call, he turns as the wind brushes past his face and you get a proper look at him for the first time without being covered by a hood or hair. Wow, he was handsome.

“Here, you forgot it when I was round yours for dinner.” you let out a breath. Your chest is tight with anxiety. He stares, his lips creasing into a wobbly smile. “Thanks” he gently takes it from your hand, your fingers touching for longer than they should of. “Dude you’re freezing,” you remark, feeling the touch of his freezing pale hands. “I’m fine, I’ll be home in less than 10 minutes” he buries the lighter in his pocket. “Sure” you respond blankly. You weren’t sure what you thought was going to happen, but you both stand quietly as if waiting for the other to say something. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah” he smiles, turning, “see ya Player”

And with that, you’re left on the path.

Chapter Text

“Player? Are you in hunnie?”

Your eyes are sticky, the type of stickiness you get after a long rest, and you begin to rub them as best you can while registering the firm knock on the front door. You spend a moment placing the muffled voice to a face in your mind, is that Marnie? Or perhaps Caroline? No - definitely Marnie. You stretch before untangling yourself from your sheets - stuffy and suffocating in the tiny cabin. This reminds you to open a window before you head out.

“One second!” you exclaim while pulling on your shorts. Spending the moment gazing down at your own legs, you realise the scars from your previous mining expulsion had finally set into a shiny pink on your lower calves. Maybe you should cover up more so they don't heal so weirdly, but there's no time to be self-conscious about more of your body because Marnie seems to be at the door. You wonder what time is it as you stumble through the bedroom door, into your small living area and past the kitchen counter. You breathe in, ruffling your hair into some proper shape. As you fumble with your own keys from their hook to the door you wonder if it's a parcel, It wasn't uncommon for neighbours to get the wrong packages and bring them to their rightful recipient.

“Marnie, hi!” you pull open the door and try not to wince so hard at the blinding sunlight.

“Heya Sugar!” before she can continue, the pattering of paws and the low rumble of the furry creature standing beside her draws your attention immediately. “Oh!” you beam, kneeling down “Who is this?”

The dog in front of you seems to bear a huge grin, with fluffy hair and floppy ears. Although it had young eyes, its frame was larger than most dogs. You thought it may be a border collie, but what did you know about dogs? You grew up in the city - which meant that most household pets were appropriately sized for small apartments and little green space. But this was a big dog, from its excitable nature and tail that can't seem to stop thumping against your cabin steps it was a high-energy one too.

“Well” Marnie sucks a breath, holding her purse close to her side as she grins back at you on the steps “he doesn’t have a name yet - he’s a stray”

“A stray?” the dog has both its paws on your lap, as you've decided to give in and sit cross-legged to accommodate your new fluffy acquaintance. “He doesn't look like a stray” You face the dog “You're all well groomed, aren't ya?” You ruffle the top of his head as he whines and grumbles joyfully. You honestly had no idea where this was going, although, by Marnie's hopeful demeanour, it was glaringly obvious she wanted someone to take this dog - you were too caught up in cuddles with the Collie to acknowledge such a suggestion.

“Well I don't think for long” she starts, pulling back her frizzy ginger hair into a loose ponytail. “I reckon he was left on the road, I found him on the way back from the next town - which is a good hour and a half!” she brushes down her forest green pinafore. “He must have been left” she kisses her teeth “You poor thing” She also begins to join you in scratching his head. “The worst thing is I can’t take him, Jas doesn’t like dogs of all things!”

As you listen to the woman, you realise quickly that you’d been sitting on your porch talking to the neighbour about a stray dog that she can't care for. You pause, considering it before she even asks. You loved animals, you loved the outdoors - it's why you picked up your life to live in this nothing town that your grandpa spoke of so fondly. But a pet so soon? You hadn’t even been here for half a year and there was such an enormous amount of work to do on the farm. Could you handle it? You slow your hands and look at the dog, he has big green eyes and a wet, shiny nose. With soft fluffy ears that flopped over his head and a beautiful mismatched pattern of caramel brown and white fur across his face and left side. “He's a border collie, right?”

“Yep!” Marnie ruffles, “famously good farm dogs” and she leans down to wink in the dog's direction as if he could acknowledge her suggestion.

“Oh Marnie…” you pause “I- I’m not sure, what if I’m not good at looking after him?” you ponder out loud.

“Don’t be silly!” she places a firm, yet comforting hand on your shoulder as you slowly rise from the wood porch. “He has a lot of energy - but I've seen you work kid! Your grandpa would be proud.” She registers your expression change, the acknowledgement of your grandpa weighing down on your heart. “What I mean to say is” she interrupts your spiralling thoughts “that I think he would do great on your schedule. The farm is huge, he's got plenty of room to play and I've seen you running errands from one side of town to the other three times over!” she exclaims “it wouldn't be difficult to bring him with you is all.” And just like that, Marnie’s sweet smile and chipper voice have you letting out a breath and agreeing to take the dog. I mean it was all true - you were planning on adopting an animal in your lifetime and you did have the lifestyle for this high-energy animal. You just hadn’t thought it would be so soon.

Marnie was considerate enough to buy some basics for you: some dog food from Pierres, miscellaneous pet toys and an off-colour second-hand bed from one of the townsfolk. “You didn’t think I would just dump this guy on ya and leave ya?” she chuckled, drawing a long breath from her chest as you gratefully (and surprisedly) accepted the items. “I couldn't find a collar hunnie, but I’ll look out for one next time I’m out of town!”

“Thanks so much, Marnie” You hold your new companion as Marnie retreats down the porch steps and back towards her ranch. As you wave you realise this might be better for you than anything else so far, Maybe a fluffy companion will help you reduce your sleepless nights thinking about… everything; the city, your parents, your grandpa, these townsfolk… and yourself. You look down at the expectant pup. You realise Marnie must have had some merit in her theory because the collie was relatively well groomed and seemed well trained - just unfortunately abandoned. “Good boy!” you scratch the back of his ears as he wags his tail happily. You lead the pup inside, with the dog bed in tow and place it in the corner next to the chimney.

Pulling your phone up from your side table, you realise you had a missed call from Sam. Shit - you told him you’d go for a walk today. You had slept in, as it was already past 10 a.m. You usually were up at 8 a.m. or earlier to work on the farm - despite your hard work, it would still be months before even half the property was restored. Typing in a short message, you invite Sam over and apologise for being late. You told him he would love to see the excuse though, and this led Sam right to your door within 20 minutes out of pure intrigue. You open the door; “Hey Sam, I-”

“OH MY GOD” he pushes through the door “YOU HAVE A DOG?!” he races past you, not even looking at you properly as he practically skids on his knees towards the collie. “Yeah… that's why I was late” you sigh, jumping over your armchair and landing comfortably in its worn leather as Sam sits on the floor pampering your new friend.

“How come?? When?? Why??” he speaks faster than his mouth can form the words, you snicker a bit. Sam was always in a good mood, or if he wasn't he was hungry. This wasn't to say the young man didn't have a more complex inner life - you just hadn't been privy to it yet, despite the fact that he was the most open out of the group. It's great how irony works, isn't it? He's sat on your floor, playing with your new dog as you turn to the kitchen to put your kettle on. His olive skin glistened in the sun slipping in through the unopened curtains, his muddy green eyes entirely focused on the dog now sprawled out across your living room floor.

“Marnie found him, he's a stray - or abandoned?” you question, “not really sure”. You reach up to the cabinets and grab your pot of coffee grounds. “But he needed a home, so I took him - he doesn't even have a name yet”.

“You should definitely call him destroyer -” you begin to laugh before he can even finish properly, “I'm being serious Player! Destroyer is where it's at!”.

“Sorry” you chuckle, “I don’t think he looks like a Destroyer, do ya?” you ruffle the dog's head, now with a mug of coffee in hand. The sleep finally begins to wane off.

“Oh” Sam exclaims, “I have some stuff for you” he begins rummaging around in his backpack, it was tattered and worn - adjourned with more badges and pins. You were curious, you couldn't imagine what it would be. An old videogame maybe? A VHS tape? It wasn't until Sam pulled out a handful of photographs you became more confused. You sit on the floor, up against your grandpa's armchair as Sam pulls out an old group photo. There were 5 people, one you recognised immediately, your grandpa! Your eyes wander over the image; there is another old man around grandpa's age with grey hair and a veteran's jacket. Next to him was a man you thought might be in his late 20s - with striking blond hair gelled back into a slick side part. There were two children, one was unmistakably Sam. The little chubby boy had spiky blond hair and a missing tooth - his huge grin was just as recognisable as it was today. Your cheeks pulled up into a smile seeing the young boy, he was a cute kid for sure. You wondered if Sebastian was that cute as a kid too.

Your eyes draw back to the image and to the other child in the photo, and your smile falls as quickly as it came - it was you. You hold back a breath, worried eyes fixating on the little girl standing in front of your grandpa. Your mind was racing at an incredible speed, how did you never consider this possibility? Would he be able to tell? Well, you knew you didn't look like a woman anymore - but the likeness was certainly there if you looked hard enough. You shared the same eyes, skin, hair. You gulp, trying not to look too panicked in front of Sam.

“It was at a Luau, I'm not sure what year though” Sam scratches the back of his head. “But I saw your grandpa and I thought you’d like to see it” he smiles earnestly, but you can't appreciate the act of kindness while your thoughts spin at a million miles per hour - your gaze completely fixated on the little girl standing next to your grandpa.

“How old?” you whisper

“Huh?”

“I mean, how old were you” you nod your head to Sam in the photo.

“Maybe 10?”

That would make you 11 in the picture.

“Who's that?” you point to the two men standing above Sam, quickly changing the topic before he gets a chance to wonder about the little girl.

He awkwardly smiles, “That's my grandpa” he nods to the elderly man in the veteran's attire, who had firm hands on Sam's shoulders and a sturdy grin on his face. “Pretty sure he and your grandpa were good friends”

“Really?” you mumble, your memory was foggy of your childhood. You remembered the bliss of spending the summers at your grandparents, but not much in the way of specific details. Despite the fact you quite literally met Sam as a child - as the photo indicates - you had no memory of the blonde chubby kid with olive skin and muddy eyes. You probably played together, if your grandparents were that fond of each other.

“That's my dad” Sam gestures to the other man, his smile seems to fade slightly. You stay silent for a moment, not sure whether to pry further but before you can make the decision Sam answers the question for you “He's in the military so he's not around much”.

“Oh, fair enough” you shrug. “Is it bad I assumed your mum was single?” you chuckle.

Sam laughs “She might as well be!” he tuts, “It's not like he even sends a text anymore.”

You internally wince, knowing that it was rare to see a vulnerable moment from Sam. You take a sip of your coffee “Same” you mutter. Sam looks towards you for a second and you laugh to lighten the mood, “So does everyone in this group have daddy issues?”. Sam falls back laughing “Yes!” he lies on the floor for a moment as the dog bounds over and starts licking Sam's face “Hey you!” he laughs and after a moment of fighting off your excitable new friend - Sam glances back to the photo. “Is that your sister or something?”

You feel your face growing hot, a bead of sweat forming at the brow. “Uh no, it's one of my cousins”

This was a total lie, of course, you didn't have any siblings and neither did your mum. You had a few cousins on your dad's side, but you were your grandpa's only grandchild.

Good thing Sam didn't need to know that.

“Y’know I can't find any photos of you!” Sam furrows while skipping through the pictures. “Weird” You sit up, putting your mug onto the side table and stroking the collie's head as Sam passes you more photos. None of these included you as a child luckily, all contained your grandfather at different social events. You recognised folks like Marlin Fierro, Mayor Lewis, George and Evelyn Keely and even one with what you guessed is Pierre Mercer as a teenager. As Sam flicks through the photos, some of them polaroids, the grainy and worn pictures fade out into more recent ones. One of Sam as a kid with his family, and before you know it he's showing you embarrassing photos of him and Abigail as children.

“Oh oh!” he scampers for a moment, pointing to what seems to be Abigail around 7 or 8 at a Flower Dance festival. She's standing next to Sam in the photo, the two holding hands and gleaming with mischievous smiles. “Abi hates this photo” he pauses “so I routinely bring it out to tease her” he smirks, and you snort a bit too loudly. Abigail has copper brown hair, long enough that it curls at the ends near her waist with frizzy strands sticking up. Despite the fact that her natural hair seems to be brown, it had an iridescent shine to it much similar to how it does now as a vibrant purple. It made you wonder how much dye she uses, considering her hair looks remarkably healthy for someone who dyes it enough to make sure the roots are invisible at all times. She was also missing a tooth in the photo, with round purple glasses. You never realised Abigail needed those, but she could always be wearing contacts. Her pale skin and white lacy frock made her look… soft, earthy, traditional - different from anything you'd seen Abigail in. It was pretty jarring, to be honest. As you flick through the child photos, you wonder why Sebastian isn't in any of them. You weren't sure why, but you sort of assumed the group had been joined at the hip for as long as they could talk and walk.

“Where's Sebastian?” you ponder aloud.

“Oh Seb didn’t move to Pelican Town until he was like… 15” he looks up, counting on his fingers before nodding to reaffirm himself. “Yeah! 15”

“Really?” you're slightly taken aback, once again you'd always assumed Sebastian was a born and raised Pelican Town resident. With the reputation of the Bankes family and his familiarity with the town, it was just assumed that he must have been a born local.

“So the Bankes didn’t live here before? Isn't it really hard to get a property unless you have family here?”

“Seb's mum grew up here as a kid, she moved out with Sebastian's dad when she was young but came back later on” he flicks through more photos while nonchalantly telling you details about Sebastian's life. “But by that point, she was married to Demetrius - I guess she missed her family home”.

You and Sebastian had much more in common than you had ever realised then, both moving to this stuffy little town at a relatively young age - probably as a result of the passing of grandparents who therefore relinquished their property to their next of kin.

Well, you weren't your grandpa's next of kin - but he made it clear to your mother that he would make sure she never had a penny as long as she shunned you. The worst part of it was that not even the real estate could convince your mother to like you back then or now.

You're shaken back out of your daze thinking about your mother when Sam is laughing to himself, he grabs you by the shoulder - “Holy shit I forgot about this” and as if summoned by the conversation Sam is holding out a photo of Sebastian, it seems like a candid shot as if Sebastian was about to block his face from the camera before the culprit could take the image, standing next to a teenage Abigail. The two looked like something out of the “scene” tag on Tumblr in 2014 - both with thick fringes over one of their eyes matted with hairspray and gel. It seemed as if this point Abigail had begun dying her hair purple, paired with hot pink extensions running down her back with a tiger print pattern. Sebastian's hair is frizzed up, with thick dark eyeliner under his eyes and smudged around the corners near his nose. Abigail's makeup is less messy, but still very glamorous. The two look like huge statement pieces; with striped gloves and jackets covered in pins and zips. The best part, however, where the protruding coloured bands on their braces. You laugh as Sam pins his hand to his stomach. “I'm giving myself a stitch!” he wails.

“It's a good thing their styles matured” You're fixated on the photo as Sam laughs away to himself. Seb has a soft face, with red patches of acne and looks much skinnier than he does now. You can imagine he's only a late bloomer, as he hadn't grown to his current height yet nor did he bare any stubble as he does now. How old was he? 16? It couldn’t be much younger than that. You gently pass the photo back to Sam while he wipes his eyes. “You’re lucky I haven't found any embarrassing photos of you Player!” he chuckles menacingly.

“Oh yeah” you sweat, “I’ll be sure to keep those to myself”

“Whatever floats your boat!” he lifts his phone of out his pocket. “You thought of a name for Destroyer yet?” he grins.

“Pfft… no idea” you rub the back of your head.

“Ask the group chat!”

You could ask the group chat… Sam added you some weeks ago to the trio's chat. You felt like it was way too early, and you didn't want to intrude on their discussions - but Sam assured you they had no problem with it. Despite the fact the rest of the group used it almost daily, you felt too anxious to jump in unless it was truly relevant.

You type in the message bar for a moment, but your fingers are tapping the side of the case unable to make a decision on the wording. Before you even realise Sam must have picked up on your cautiousness because he texts first:

Sam: any1 got a good name for Players dog?

Abigail: when tf did you get a dog???

Sebastian: I second that question.

You smile weakly, tapping in a response.

Player: Marnie found him, so today lol

Player: would like a name for him. Not fond of Sams suggestion

Sam: destroyer is a greatt name!1!!

Player: pleaseeee someone give me a different name

Abigail: uhhh chocolate?

Abigail: muffin, toothless, charlie??

Sebastian: frog is a good name

Abigail: for a fucking dog??

You close the chat, satisfied with the answers for now.

“There they go!” Sam laughs as Abigail and Sebastian bicker away in the chat over dog names.

Eventually, you bid goodbye to Sam as he offered to help his mum with lunch before Vincent made it home from Penny's. You thank him for letting you see the photos and wave from the porch as your new furry friend whimpers and stomps behind you. Closing the door you give him a pat on the head and head towards your grandpa's armchair. You play with the worn leather of the seat, thinking about your newfound responsibilities on top of the farm. Looking down, the collie is sitting obediently in front of you with a beaming grin.

“I think I’ll name you Frog”

Chapter Text

The woods of board beneath your feet whine and splinter as you turn the corner to Willy’s cabin, besides the dubious stability of the dock, you we’re struggling not to fall as rain pour down on you - taking careful steps around the slimy moss and seaweed strung up between the boards, tangled in its infrastructure as the waves lap up at the posts as if it just wanted to swallow you whole. 

You weren't scared of the water, per say, but you were nervous about the towering waves and the strong winds on rainy days - you’d only ever really felt this standing on the shore of a beach on a hot summer's day when the sun began setting. And even then, popular swimming and bathing spots meant lifeguards were usually lined up all across the coast. But not here, not in dainty little Pelican Town, your best bet of getting a lifeguard was hoping that Willy heard you scream if you fell into the dark, swirling ocean beneath your feet. 

You suck in a tight breath as you make it to the door of the cabin, hooked up on stilts a good few metres from the shorefront. The fish shop was made up of worn, water damaged birch boards - the rings and shapes of the wood imprinted clear with the passage of time. Its roof was rickety, some of the tiles dangled and clinked against each other as the rain trickled down and off the rusty trim and right back where it came, the ocean. Fishing nets were strung up from hooks above the door frame, attached to an oval wooden sign with the word ‘fish’ ornately carved with a clear dedication to the knife work. 

Willy Fisher heartily welcomes you as you strike open the door to escape the rain. His dark and old eyes light up at the sign of a customer, or even just another human. He lifts his dusty cap as you approach the counter, pushing his brittle silver hair behind his ears. “How can I help ya, Son?” 

“Well” you smile awkwardly as you ponder the items in front of you, hands gliding over the glass case as your gaze scans over the fish hooks, bait tubs, fishing lines and nets. Behind Willy sits a wide range of fishing rods, carefully placed on polished shelves with more glass cases and golden locks. Must be valuable, you assume, even if one is a crudely misshapen bamboo rod with a tangled line inside the case.

“I want to start fishing, or well… continue” you scratch the back of your head, “haven’t done it in a while -”

He lets out a hearty laugh from his stomach, “so yous wanna be like your pa?”

Willy was one of those people who had an infectious laugh, a grin that no one could resist. He was a cheeky old man, in all the best ways. The type with dry sarcasm and far too much life wisdom for his own liking - but he was great to be around even on the worst days. You regretted not entering the shop earlier, but you had been lucky enough to sit with him in the bar on multiple occasions while Gus poured you cheap ales talking for hours about your grandfather. 

You face beams, your grandpa's memory feeling more joyful in the regard of Willy. “Yeah! That's the plan - I doubt i'll ever be as good as either of you”

Willy waves you off, stifling out an ‘aw shucks’ between his laughs. Without hesitation, the old timer turns behind him and starts looking at his collection of rods before leaning down to rifle through a huge wooden container. You lean over the counter slightly to get a better look at its insides - only to see a huge collection of miscellaneous fishing rods. Willy pulls one out with confidence, a lime green rod that was smaller than all of the others. 

“You know,” he starts while turning to you, a curious and borderline cheeky look plastered on his face. “You used to probably fish with a rod exactly like this!” he holds out the rod to you - as your eyes hone in on the piece of equipment, you read the small label on its handle…

“Great for kids?” you read the label out loud to yourself. Well… you knew you weren’t amazing - but a kids rod?

Before you can even start pretending to not be a little insulted - Willy bursts out into an egregious laughing fit. His horse cackles dry yet filled with such mischievous joy. “Oh Yoba! I’m so sorry son - I play that joke on everyone” you’re both laughing now as he wipes the tears of laughter away from the corners of his weary eyes. He unlatches one of the glass cases - the one with the bamboo rod - and hands it to you.

“Free of charge son - this sucker belonged to your old man”

You near audibly gasp, that explained why this old and worn thing was in a glass case. Because Willy treasured it, a lot it seemed, as a passing gift from your grandpa.

“Are you sure Willy? You have a right to keep this more than I do -”

“Don’t be daft!” the older man takes a puff of his pipe, sucking in a heavy breath. “You’re his kin - if he knew you was goin’ out onto the pier he would have wanted you to have it!”

You held the rod close, its bamboo body worn and well loved, and its line knotted and trapped in some places. It had a little trinket attached to the tackle - and you felt honoured to hold the dingy thing and call it yours. 

“Give it a go” Willy pipes up behind the counter “and let me know what you think - I’ll be happy to take you out on the boat for lessons anytime you need” he slides a few bags of bait over the counter as he tips his hat to you, and you graciously scoop up the items before near rushing out the door to reach the dock. 

It had been a few weeks since Willy had given you your first rod, and he had been kind enough in that time to teach you a thing or two about the basics of fishing. Despite that, you still felt a little silly sat on the dock by yourself - imposter syndrome as per usual. Even for a casual task like fishing. 

You shut the cabin door, ushering Frog to sit nicely so you could put his leash on with your backpack and fishing rod strapped to your back. Bag filled with fishing supplies, a book, and other miscellaneous items you usually brought with you on walks.

Taking care of Frog was easier than expected, and Marnie was right - if you took him with you on errands or around the farm he was out cold by 9pm despite his apparent boundless energy. So you take Frog by the leash and begin down the porch steps and down the path to the east of the Cindersap Forest. It was spitting slightly, the Spring showers had been day to day these past few weeks - but that was fine since it meant you spent less time watering your crops in the morning. You adjust your woolly hat and brown leather coat - another staple item of your grandpas. It was technically a winter coat, but it was mighty good at keeping the rain off you. With boots squelching in the mud, you venture on into the main clearing of the forest - Marnie’s Ranch begins to form in view behind the brush and trees - the red roof tile shimmered under the rain as it clink-clacks onto the tiles and drips down the side of the enormous farm building. 

“Ouch!”

You stumble back, not falling - but your footing is misaligned as you swing your head forward, in front of you sat on her side is a little girl - a little girl that had just run into you by accident. If you could remember her name that would really help right now -

“Jas?” a voice yells “you good?”

Shane O’Brian, the grumpy guy who never talks to anyone in the bar, is walking towards you with his hood strung up over his head and a sullen expression. Before you can even realise that you knocked a little girl over by accident, you pull the child up while apologising profusely. 

“I’m so sorry Jas! I wasn’t looking- oh Yoba your dress”

Jas, the little girl who lives with Marnie and Shane, is standing in front of you with a reserved face and worried eyes - and most importantly, a really muddy dress. She has ochre brown skin and cloudy blue eyes, with a triangular sort of face shape; a sharp chin, wide eyes and strong eyebrows. The front of her black hair is laid flat in two parts and tied back into two low curly ponytails. Her hair is adjourned with green ribbons and a bow - and despite the weather she's wearing a purple pinafore style dress with round princess sleeves, most importantly, she has black tights and wellies on to protect from the cold.

Only issue is that the purple dress is now covered in wet, cakey mud on the left side alongside dirt tracked up her tights and shoes.

Before you can defend yourself, or offer a solution, Shane simply walks up to you both before sighing to himself. “Fucks sake” he mumbles under his breath, “come on you, lets get you to aunty Marnie”

“I’m so sorry Shane - I wasn't look-”

“Dude its fine” the slightly older man dismisses you callously, “she's a kid - happens all the time” he takes a swig of his drink from his unmarked bottle. It was in the afternoon, but you can’t say you were entirely surprised - but at least when he was drunk he was far less aggressive. You can't imagine how this would have gone if he was sober. 

Just as Shane begins to lead Jas away, she tugs slightly at his hand before looking at you with a great deal of courage.

“...Can I pet your dog?”

Oh Yoba, the poor kid looked so sad cos she was building up the courage to ask if she could pet the dog!

“Of course!” you shuffle to bring Frog closer on his leash, this entire time he's been patiently waiting for you to continue walking while flicking mud everywhere with his tail - and now he was happily receiving pets and rubs from a very happy Jas. Shane gives a hint of a smile as Jas giggles and squeals at the excited border collie - you try not to stare too much since you don't think you'd ever seen him smile in the 4 months you’d lived here. 

Shane was a shorter man, around your height, with a tremendous beer belly to match his stocky stature. He had some muscle to him, and you knew he did manual labour for Marnie at the ranch as well as working at the Jojamart in town. He had strong arm hair and uneven stubble all around his chin, ears and neck. You could only wish you grew as much hair as a guy like Shane, but you acknowledged that was down to genetics even with the benefit of hormone replacement therapy. With dark brown eyes and dark hair, the rain trickled off his exposed fringe in little rapid drops. Despite the weather, Shane was still wearing his usual attire: a green football polo, frayed denim shorts, an old raggedy Joja Corp uniform jacket and dirty lime green trainers. 

“Thankyou Mister!” Jas steps away from Frog who is still panting away.

“We’ll call that even for knocking the child over, huh?” Shane deadpans - his dry sense of humour wasn't lost on you however. 

“Sure thing” you chuckle while pulling Frog closer, “see you around!” you wave the two off. Shane simply turns, lighting up a cigarette as he walks with Jas towards the ranch. You had always assumed Shane was Jas’ dad, or uncle, brother? Some relatives of the anxious little girl - but you also weren’t really sure how someone like Shane ended up with a kid. Well - there was Pam, and she raised Penny, so it can't be that crazy. 

The path begins to widen as you ponder the family dynamics between Marnie, Shane and Jas. The sky seemed to turn more dull as you entered the cobbled path on Willow Lane - as you past Sam's place you could hear the faint drum of heavy metal from the side of the house where his window was. If you were feeling more mischievous you may have considered pranking him or poking your head in - but fishing was at the forefront of your mind.

You had yet to catch anything substantial yet, only a few common fish that you could hold in the palm of your hand. Yet you were determined to make some bigger catches, so you were gonna sit on the dock until that happened! 

Frog eagerly pulls forward as you turn over the bridge to the beach path, you knew Frog loved it here because besides the farm, it was the only place you trusted him off the leash (so far). As you reach the entrance to the beach, the sand is darker than usual - on account for the poor weather, and the waves are towering, powerful and loud as they crash into the ocean over and over again on the horizon. 

Finally, you unlatch Frog’s leash and he begins bounding around the coast like he's never seen the place before! You shake your head and laugh to yourself before heading down the slippery and old most-left dock and carefully manoeuvre yourself to sit comfortably, legs crossed a few feet away from the edge for safety’s sake. 

You set up your fishing gear, attach the bait and throw the line as far as you can manage and begin to wait. It's not long until Frog starts barking at miscellaneous items, people or animals. First its Willy, whos heading out the shop to visit Pierres, then its a shell that he apparently doesn't like the look of, and the last time you peer your head to see Frog was barking at a very small crab on the sand, and wouldn't dare get closer than a few feet of it. 

So after about an hour of unsuccessful fishing, you didn't bother to lift your head or unplug your headphones when you heard Frog incessantly barking across the beach - nor when the barking got closer until there's a light tap on your shoulder.

“Oh shit-” you jump slightly, pulling out your headphones “sorry sorry I-”

It's Sebastian!

“Oh! Hey” you try to smile casually. That's why Frog was barking…

“Hey - you're in my spot”

Your expression falters, “oh - sorry”

“I’m fucking with you!” he chuckles lowly, “seriously though, is sitting here gonna become a habit? I love this smoke spot”

You begin to laugh, “go fuck yourself Seb - this dock is free real estate!”

“It's actually Willy’s estate, but yeah” he smiles while sitting next to you - immediately throwing his legs over the side of the wood and sitting far too close to the edge for your comfort.

“We can share it?” you awkwardly smile

“Hmm” he taps his chin in an exaggerated motion, “I’ll think about it” he finishes, grinning sarcastically.

“I can pay you in sardines” you pull out the one miniscule fish you had caught out of your bucket. 

Sebastian deadpans at you for a moment, looking between you and the fish before stifling a laugh and covering his mouth. “Please seriously tell me you just got here”

“Uhhh no” you smile, “been sat here for over an hour!”

“Dude. Do you even know how to fish?”

“Noooo” you draw out, “not really - like - I fished as a kid with my grandpa but yeah… not for a while”

“Here” Sebastian grabs the rod from you while sweeping back his hair slightly under his hood, “first things first - you're missing a bobber”

You quite literally throw your head in your hands - “NO way” you sigh. “Are you fucking with me? Or am I that stupid?” you turn to Sebastian

By this point he's already lit up a cigarette and is handing it to you - which gives you a brief moment to feel his touch while he starts rummaging through your fishing gear

“Here!” he exclaims “you have one - you just didn’t put it on”

“Oh Yoba, I’m useless”

“You should've just asked for help” he shrugs 

“How was I supposed to know Mr Sebastian over here was Pelican Town's next fishing master??”

“Dude” he gives you a knowing glare, “you know that like 70% of this town can fish right? Why do you think we have an entire fishing tackle shop? Willy gotta make his business somewhere”

“What - you're saying Sam and Abi know how to fish?” you drag out the cigarette before handing it back to Seb, who returns your rod with bobber and bait attached. 

“Well, Sam a little bit - but he always hated it. Abigail doesn’t, but her dad loves to fish”

“And you? I didn’t think your mum would be the fishing type”

“She's not” he re-lights the cigarette, “my dad is”

“Oh - fair enough” the conversation pauses for a moment. You’re unsure whether this is inappropriate ground for you to cover yet. 

“I used to fish with him a lot - like a lot a lot”

“Thats cool”

“So…” it was unusual for Seb to have to reignite the conversation - but you were never good with family talk, “your parents fish? Or anything?”

It was kind of hilarious how stupid the question was

“Uh no!” you sigh, “well actually - my mum probably fished with my grandpa but she never mentioned it or anything like that.”

You feel that light, airy fog start to fill up your head as you mindlessly stare out onto the vast, dark ocean. It was terrifying how close you were to potentially falling into the towering waves. Ones that would scoop you up so fast and hard you probably wouldn't be able to shout or scream. 

“Hey - Hey! Player? Are you ok?”

Just as you register Sebastian's voice, a crack of thunder dissipates your foggy mind - you find yourself aware and head spinning around in unison with Sebastians as a bolt of lightning lights up the sky beyond the treeline between the beach and town. That was far too close for your comfort. 

“Sorry -”

You’re looking into eachothers eyes a little too intently, the peak of adrenaline from the shock of thunder pulses through you both as rain trickles down the bridge of your nose. Sebastian's face is easier to see as his fringe is dampened by the quickly falling rain. 

“I” you begin to speak but struggle, but for once Sebastian doesn’t look away or awkwardly try to change the conversation. 

“I’m sorry - I get… weird when I talk about my parents” you chuckle more to yourself than anyone else as you realise how weird it is to say. “I haven’t spoken to them in a while”

There's almost a flash of relief in Sebastian's eyes as he looks at you, “yeah - I. I understand” he pulls his jacket tighter “I’m sorry for bringing it up”

“You didn’t know”

You smile, but your gaze is broken by the sound of Frog howling dramatically at the other end of the pier. “I’m coming Froggy! Relax!” you shake your head, sitting up cautiously and packing your things together. “Sorry - I need to get home and dry him off. You gonna be good walking home?”

“Oh yeah I’m fine” he laughs, more relaxed now. 

“Text me when you get back? Don’t want to hear from Abigail you got struck by lightning” you giggle childishly - Seb looks slightly embarrassed at the implication, his pale face flushed. 

“Ok, yeah” he laughs. “See you later Player,”

Chapter Text

You snap a crudely aligned photo of the letter you just opened while sitting on your front porch. Today was much sunnier than the recent showers - which meant you had to sit on the porch to make sure Frog didn’t sprint off into the woods while making his daily rounds running circles around the farm. 

The letter, made of some sort of expensive navy paper with a strange silky texture to it, had a strange message written in sparkly, fluorescent blue cursive with white borders and a wax sealed envelope. It looked like something out of a RPG fantasy guidebook - it read:

My sources tell me you’ve been poking around inside the old community centre.

Why don’t you pay me a visit?

My chambers are West of the Forest Lake, in the stone tower. I may have information concerning your… ‘rat problem’.

Yours sincerely,

Rasmodius. High Wizard of the Cindersap Domain.

.

..

…

I mean, like, what the fuck was this supposed to be? You seriously considered this being some dumb prank from Sam - even Abigail maybe. That would explain the nice cursive writing, but how did the both of them know about the community centre? Or the fact that Lewis thought you might be losing your mind because you kept seeing little… things? Animals? Creatures? 

“This is so fucking weird” you pull your face into your hands, nervously writing up a text to the groupchat with an image attached:

Player: Very funny guys but wtf is thi s meant to be?

Sebastian: wtf is that?

Player: Sam n Abi playing a shit prank??

Abigail: NOO FUCKINFNG WAYYYY

Abigail: YOU GOT A LETTER FROM THE WIZARD????

Sam: he definitely wanhts to kill u

Abigail: SHUT UP seriously like wtf did you do to get this guy to SEND U A LETTER??

You were… thoroughly confused. 

Magic was… well, a fragile topic in the city. Not that it didn’t exist, but the uncertainty of its power - notably the fact that its usage was heavily regulated or outlawed - often led to a lot of discourse, scandals, attacks… You name it. Whether you believed it should be used or not, ethics was always a hot discussion in the scene. This, unfortunately, meant that any practitioners were heavily guarded from the public eye and the only times you’d seen someone use the word ‘wizard’ was in the context of fictional fantasy novels.

You realised it was probably more common in the countryside where casualties were less likely, and there wasn't so much political discourse regarding it, that it may be entirely possible that an actual wizard was living in Cindersap Forest in this mysterious tower… 

Player: r u guys telling me theres like? A real practitioner in town?

Abigail: waht???? PLAYER why r u being so fucking weird??

Sebastian: oh i’ve just realised

Sam: I actually have 2 lol, waiting 4 Abs to noticr

Abigail: dude are you PLAYING A JOKE ON ME RN WDYM???

Sebastian: magic is illegal in Zuzu district lol

Sebastian: and like. No one uses it there. It's like a purely human zone, no ghosts or creatures or shit

Well… you were glad you didn't have to explain that yourself.

Player: Yeah true

Player: ok so. Now that we figured that out. Can someone tell me why  i have a letter from a wizard?

Abigail: im going to pretend like you didnt just tell me magic is illegal in Zuzu but whayevr

Abigail: to answer ur second question. I DONT KNOW!! THATS WHY U SHOULD TELL ME!!

Player: IDK EITHER!! 

Sebastian: wtf does he mean by rat infestation? 

Player: oh

Player: Lewis gave me the key 2 community centre

Player: I agreed to help fix it as long as he didnt sell it to joja

Sam: HOLY shit ur joking right? Lewis was gonna sell 2 joja???

Player: apparently my grandparents used to help run it

Abigail: yh i remember playing in there as a kid

Player: anyway. Getting off topic. Basically I saw these creature things? idk… animals ive never seen before. Lewis thought I was a fucking nut job - so we agreed it must be rats. Mostly so i didnt look like a total idiot.

Player: and then I saw this weird tablet? Like? Stone slab thing on the ground in a lnguage i didnt understand at all

Sebastian: probably somethn u werent supposed to see. 

Sebastian: and hes gonna wipe ur memory or smth

Abigail: shutup seb u ass

Sam: u should go see him, dude is pretty chill

Sebastian: how tf do you know

Sam: helped Abi stalk him once

Sebastian: yh ofc u fucking did

Sebastian: what else would I expect

Abigail: he has purple hair so thats a win for me. Green flag <3

Player: guess im going to see a wizard? If i dont text u guys in 2 hours im probably dead lol

Abigail: Have fun!!!! Tell us what he says

Abigail: if u dont update me i will kill <3

Little did you know that text would be more than a stupid joke.

—

“Player? Player!”

The voice is… fuzzy, indistinguishable and you spend a lot of your energy concentrating to even understand your own name as it's called out to you. 

Where are you? What day is it? What happened?

The dark in front of you begins to open up,eyelids fluttering as you begin to regain some level of consciousness, the room around you is very brown (on account for the wood ceiling - but your disorientated brain can't process that yet) and you can't help but wincing as your eyes registers the candlelight around you.

Something else… someone else is in front of you though. Your eyes sting for what feels like an unimaginably long time as you gain focus on the colours, shapes, and details around you.

“Abi?”

“That's relieving” a totally unrecognisable voice enters your scope - despite feeling some familiarity in the gruff remark, you have no idea who just spoke.

“Oh my Yoba!” Abi clutches you in a hug. “You’re awake! Holy shit, dude you had us worried”

“What did I do?” you mumble as the solace of your own voice and thoughts begins to clear your head.

There was a pungent smell in the room that seemed to keep full clarity at bay as you turned your head to look around, the space was relatively small - but looking through an archway to your left revealed the tower's wider second half which opened up into a small library space. The ornate, carefully detailed wooden boards beneath you squealed as you used Abigail as a crutch to stand on your feet - wobbling and stumbling slightly as you do so - the shadowy brickwork blends together into one speckled, cracked mess while you take in the room. You seem to recognise this room despite the disorientation, including the iron detailed fireplace, what looks like a intricately drawn summoning circle on black stone and the huge black cauldron filled billowing out a factory’s worth of fumes into the room. Ah, that's the smell…

“You drunk that, idiot”

Abigail points to the huge cauldron like a disappointed parent. Oh yeah, you did do that. Why did you do that again?

“And it will prove incredibly useful to you in time, Player… if only you hadn’t brought townsfolk with you”

Finally, the disembodied voice laced with some strange familiarity is met with a face. Rasmodius, or the wizard, stood before you. The guy was nothing short of a unit, with a towering silhouette, strong features and impressively tall - he was easily 7ft! His indigo hair was almost luminescent, silky and shiny falling from his black ridge-top hat which reflected the candlelight from every angle; making him difficult to look at for too long when you’re this nauseous. He’s fiddling with his moustache, golden rings and bracelets adjourn his hands and forearm. He’s wearing a huge black cape with a purple interior lining - what's most striking however is how similar he and Abigail look scowling at one another with bushy, furrowed brows. 

“Stop being a fuckin’ jackass” Abigail spits with a petty venom you hadn’t been privy too before - “you said yourself it was powerful stuff - so why expect him to take it so easily? Of course we were going to come find him!”

It seems the two of them had been bickering before you left your daze.

“It’s fine Abigail I chose to take it!” you manage to cough out before she near lunges at him. He looks… impressed , almost? For a second there's a flash of doubt, or perhaps clarity, as he takes in Abigail's words. 

“Well” he sucks in, voice still as gruff and tone deaf as before, “now that you are well, you can continue along your way, be sure to write to me when you start progress - the spirits are very eager to speak to you”

Abigail, clearly out of her depth in the situation, grabs you tighter and begins to lead you towards the door of the tower. “C’mon dude, let's get you home”

Rasmodius simply nods at you as you give him a last glance. It's only now you notice Abigail has her sword strapped to a leather hilt by her side. Holy shit she was willing to fight for you.

“You know I mean no harm, Mercer, I have never harmed any townsfolk”

She completely ignores the wizard as the light of the outdoors hits you like a truck. You only make it about 5 minutes through the forest trail before you collapse near a large willow tree just adjacent to the pond you knew was a familiar landmark. How long has it been? You roughly guessed that only 4 hours ago you had been walking past this tree , following the impressive spiral of the stone tower.

“Ok let's sit, lets sit” Abigail places you down.

“Sorry about all this - its my fault, I-”

“Don’t be stupid” she laughs, “it was my fault really… I told you to go see him”

You both begin to giggle like children as you take in how ridiculous the whole thing is. 

“Oh one second” she straightens up while you look over the side of the pond, staring at your reflection in the water while Abigail takes her vibrating phone out of her bag. 

“Yeah yeah I’ve got him” she sighs slightly and you meet eyes again, you throw out a weak “sorry!” to what you assumed was Sam or Sebastian on the other end of the phone. 

“We’re by that pond in Cindersap, you know - near Marnie's yeah. Ok yeah, we’ll be there soon.”

She ends the call

“Where are we going exactly?” By this point you’d lost all manner of sensibility and started scooping up handfuls of the pond water to throw on your face - you feel much more alive.

“Community centre, duh?” she laughs again “I didn’t just rescue you in that damn tower so you could NOT show us what the whole deal is with this building”

“Oh yeah. That is why I did that, isn't it?”

“Dumbass”

“He gave me uh, like uh… nature potion? He said if I drunk it I would be able to read the language on the slab… and other stuff I don’t remember”

“He couldn’t have just given you a translation?”

“I don't know!” you let out a weak, airy laugh. “I certainly feel different”

—

You decide not to tell the group about the fact that there were inscriptions everywhere! Along the walls, in the stone foundations, the floor, it was never ending. All asking for a variance of items; seasonal crops, artisan items like oil and cheese, fabrics and more. All seemingly directing you to the little golden plaques placed in each room with space to place items. While you wandered around the dilapidated building entranced by all of the ethereal, suddenly intelligible, writing everywhere and squeaks from what you imagine are forest spirits - Abigail, Sam and Sebastian were kicking rocks on the boards and poking at dusty bookshelves, apparently unable to see whatever you could see. 

“So yeah, I guess it didn't work” you shrug, acting nonchalantly as possible.

Sam groans like a sulking child, “that suuuucks. I was ready for a cool ghost adventure”. He kicks another rock as you shut the tottering door and lock it with the rusty key Lewis gave you.

“It's not ghosts Sam, it's spirits. You know the things that literally every researcher comes here to study?”

“Yeah yeah whatever”

You listen to Abi ramble on about how if researchers can find stuff without weird wizard potions, why can't we? Sam and her begin bickering about if it's worth walking down to the library to look for books on it or just go to the Saloon instead. 

“So, no magic?” Seb chuckles cynically, you've trailed behind the two ahead as they chat.

“Guess not”

“That's weird, considering you looked like you'd seen Yoba yourself in there” he raises his eyebrows at you. 

You try to take in the fact that you had not been as sneaky as you'd hoped, but your brain obsesses over the fact that Sebastian was watching you the entire time, that he was trying to poke you for conversation (which was the biggest shocker of all) and that he didn't believe your cheery dismissals to Sam and Abi - flattering!

You reboot for a second, thoughts bluffing for some sort of excuse as the two of you stumble down the trail towards the town. Realising Sam and Abi where out of hearing distance, you let out a breath and smile a little more genuinely at your… friend? You guys must be friends now.

“Yeah there was weird magic writing on the walls, and I noticed that there were these golden plaques in cupboards, under a desk, floorboards” it all begins spilling out as Sebastian watches endearingly, you suck in a breath of air to continue your long and rackety declaration without notice of his affectionate gaze. “There were.. Uh.. slots! Slots in each space for items they wanted. I think I saw one too- the little spirit things I mean but-”

Pause - Sebastian is stifling a giggle. No wait, he cant hold the stifle anymore, and is outright giggling at you with a hand over his mouth.

“What's funny?” you sigh with some level of disappointment.

“I believe you” it takes a second for him to wipe off the giggly spell he seems to have, “you just looked like you were about to burst. You're not a good liar”

You beam, a bigger smile than you think your face can even handle, with your teeth bare and lips pulled ear to ear. 

“Jackass”

“Hey!” he dodges gracefully as you jokingly push him with a limp arm. You have a weird feeling in your stomach. It's fluttering and soft, like dandelion seeds in the wind on a hot summer's day like this. But you push it down to concentrate on walking to the saloon in one piece. 

Despite it only being 3pm, Sam and Abigail push into the Saloon's doors as if they'd just come from a long day of work.

“Just gonna have a cigarette” Seb calls ahead with the lighter perched between his teeth as he pulls out a crumpled box. 

“Are those Joja brand?” with arms crossed you give Seb a investigative look, “thought your lot where strictly anti capitalist or something”

Picking up on your sarcastic smile, he lights the cigarette before passing you one. “You think I'm buying Pierres baccy? That shit is expensive”.

“True” you say no more as you both sit on little wooden chairs sat outside the saloon for when the weather is nice and smoke your cigarettes. Unfortunately, the silence has an air of awkwardness to it and you're not sure why. Maybe it's because you're struggling not to stare…

Sebastian has always been the double layered type. Always with a jumper, hoodie, thick jeans and clunky trainers. But today, you had just realised, he was wearing a baggy band t-shirt and ripped skinny jeans. It doesn't sound revolutionary, but it signified more than anything that the summer heat was here to stay and everyone had to get adjusted to it. 

It's not like you hadn't seen him without a hoodie before, but it was something adjacent to seeing your coworkers without their Jojacorp mandated uniform on for the first time. Kind of endearing, personal and like a move in the friendship. Here you were, sat outside of the Saloon on a Friday afternoon with one of your new friends. His shoulders are slouched as he takes long drags of the cigarette while sharing glances with you without a word. He pulls back his hair more than he usually does, on account for the sweat pooling on his forehead in the direct sunlight. Sebastians hands are much rougher than you would imagine for a software developer, calluses and scratches that you assume are from helping Robin with wood work. The rest of his delicate skin pops with a pink, blemished shade in the sun and his freckles are everywhere ! Which somehow you hadn't noticed before, you draw dainty patterns with your eyes between each brown spot back and forth until you realise you're staring… like really badly. So much for not being awkward.

“Uh so, what are you drinking today? I can't decide if I want a beer or cider” looking back at your cigarette, you realise it's been burning away without you having even taken a single puff in the past 5 minutes.

“Whatever you're having, probably” he curbs his gaze to you by taking another puff. “I'm getting sick of my usual”

You agree to both get a blackcurrant cider, something neither of you have tried, and shuffle into the Saloon to meet your other two friends.  

Chapter Text

‘Bankes Carpenting - open 9 am to 8 pm Monday, Wednesday Thursday Saturday. Friday open 9 am to 4 pm. Closed Tuesdays, Sundays & All Town Holidays’

The writing was carved delicately into the wooden sign hanging from the light fixture on the Bankes' porch. You’re not sure why you were anxious to enter, maybe because the front door to their personal home was also the shop door? Either way, you needed some tools and advice whether Robin wanted compensation for it or not so you knocked lightly before entering to find a familiar little shop front you had seen on the night you had dinner here. Robin is sitting at her desk, typing away on an old computer as she draws her attention away from the noise of the bell above the door.

“Afternoon Player!” she gleams, “how can I help?”

“Not much! I was wondering if you had some tools I could borrow… or buy. Pierre doesn't have anything I need” you wince, a little embarrassed.

“Ooh, what's the occasion? She rests her chin in her palm, “Building something?”

“Ehh just arranging furniture” you shrug, “but I own one screwdriver and I need some more tools”.

“Oh dear, you didn't have a toolbox before you moved?” she pulls back some ginger strands of hair behind her ears as you talk.

“Uh” you chuckle “No, you don't really need them in the city I guess”

“Oh bless you” she laughs, “I’ll have to teach you some easy DIY tricks” She leans down behind her desk and pulls out an old wooden toolbox. “Tell you what” she drops the toolbox on the counter, “You can borrow my spare tools until you have your furniture together, kay? Call it a neighbour's favour”

“Oh really? Thanks so much, Robin! I’ll get them back to you as soon as I can '' You gingerly approach the counter, opening the box to see a selection of wood nails, an allen key, wrenches, bolts and screws, a hammer and a selection of screwdrivers. “This is perfect Robin, thank you!”

“It's no problem! Just promise you’ll come to me when you need bigger work done eh?" She leans back in her chair.

“Of course!” you close the box, being careful with it as you didn't want to ruin the delicately cut wood and a golden latch that snapped down to close at the front.

“Are you excited for the Luau tomorrow? It’ll be your first one!” she smiles while standing up, seemingly to rearrange her wooden decor.

“I am”

“So what are you bringing?”

Your stomach drops and you pause for a moment, “Oh my god” you mumble, “I completely forgot about the potluck!” Robin's face switches to confusion, then a pensive smile. You grip the straps of your overalls tightly. Shaking your head in disbelief at yourself “For fucks sake - sorry” you interrupt yourself to apologise for your crude language.

“Hey hey!” Robin comes round the desk, “No worries! You’ve got the whole day to make something”.

“I know - but what if no one likes my last-minute dish” you laugh weakly.

“What are you growing?” she crosses her arms and tilts her head towards you.

“Huh?”

“Use something from the farm! Your crops look great, I've seen them!”

The idea of Robin passing your shoddy farmland was even more embarrassing. You didn't even know why she was being so nice to you when she didn't have to. She was a lovely woman to be sure, but her consideration was jarring at times.

You think for a moment, “I guess… I have garlic and parsnips. And I have pumpkins growing, but they won't be properly ripe yet”. As you say this, Robin's eyes light up, as if having a ‘eureka’ moment.

“Oh never mind that!” Robin waves her hands “Come come” The short woman leads you through the hallway door out of her shop front and into her home. The long hallway with rustic wooden beams is lit with a warm lantern on the wall and she walks you into the kitchen. She reaches up, struggling to grab a large leather-covered book from an upper cabinet, and while she pinches at the book with an outreached arm you internally debate whether you should offer assistance. “Here!” she jumps down, adjusting her canary woollen jumper while walking towards the kitchen table. She begins flipping the pages rapidly, you peer over as she does so and it looks like a handwritten recipe book. It was like something out of a cottage fairytale really, a quant hand-covered book with probably generations worth of recipes. “I usually make this every year” You lean on the kitchen table as she points to a double-page spread for a pumpkin soup. It has a printed polaroid crudely cellotaped to the top of one of the pages. You admit it looks amazing, the colour is vibrant and thick and the soup is dished in a decorative pumpkin-shaped bowl. “I usually make this every year but I decided to do something different” As she says this she glances over to the huge cast iron pot bubbling over the gas stove and the oven underneath ticking away. “Since you're growing pumpkins, you can borrow my recipe this year” You smile, feeling honoured in a way to be entrusted with what seems to be an important and personal recipe.

“Are you sure Robin? That's mighty kind of you-” Before you can indulge further she waves you off and instructs you to take a photo of the recipe which you do so delightfully. “You know those parsnips would do great in the soup!” she taps her chin, “and that garlic too! Throw in some potatoes and it would make a nice stew”.

“Robin, you should be a chef, you have a good eye for food” you laugh.

“Oh trust me, it's not being a chef - it's just being responsible for feeding 3 other humans every day” She gives out a hearty laugh at her own joke, a typical ‘mothers’ joke. It was kind of strange at times how idyllic the Bankes family could be.

Just as Robin closes the thick and worn book, you hear a voice down the hall. As if on cue Sebastian trudges into the room with oversized flannel pyjama bottoms and a graphic t-shirt. At a closer look, it has an illustration of Hatsune Miku on it.

“Ma are you making lunch today or am-” Sebastian's face falls awkwardly when he sees you standing in his kitchen. You have your hand rested against the table, facing Robin with baggy overalls on with worn mud stains on the cuffs. You have a light coat over it, having not yet set it down in someone else's home and workers' leather boots you made sure to wipe off at the door. You joined eyes with the taller boy with what seemed to be a scruffy bedhead for a moment too long. He looks totally out of his element, and really cute. You usually only see him when he is polished and dressed, with dark eyes and flat straight hair carefully placed over one side of his face. But here he's standing in front of you, barely awake with soft puffy eyes and fluffy hair. Unprepared for the farmer boy to be in his home.

“Oh. Hey, Player” his demeanour changes, still off guard but more alert than just a moment ago.

“Well, good morning sleepy head!” Robin walks over to her son, giving him a pat on the shoulder (and having to reach up to do so).

“Sorry, I was just heading out” You pull your lips tight and tuck your phone in your pocket. “Thank you so much for the help Robin-”

“Oh!” She stops you for a moment, tapping Sebastian's shoulder. “Love, Player is going to build some furniture, why don't you help?” she nods towards you in the doorway of the kitchen.

“I don’t think-”

“It's honestly no worries Robin I-”

“Come on Seb you can fix a bike but you can't put some furniture together?” she nudges him in a motherly way. He holds his breath a moment. “Uh, I need to get dressed and then I’ll be round… if that's ok with you?”

Robin gives you a sly look, and you gulp a little, “Of course! Thank you, Seb, thank you Robin” and before any more awkward conversation can be had you scurry out of the house with the toolbox in hand.

–

Cutting a pumpkin, especially one that wasn't fully ripened was difficult to be sure. You could eat pumpkins in the spring and summer, in fact, their ideal growing time was during the spring months, although harvest was ideal in the autumn - but the summer Luau was tomorrow so an ‘ideal’ harvest could wait. It had been about an hour since you left the Bankes' house, and you were now chopping up carrots, parsnips, garlic and potatoes to accompany the biggest pumpkin of your patch. You checked your phone again, it was open on Sebastian's messages on the counter. He had apologised for his mum's behaviour. You had assured him it was fine but you hadn't received a response and honestly weren't sure if he was coming at all. Never mind, why would he? It's not like the two of you were super close… You joined in on the group's weekly Friday drinks at the pub but you felt like an intruder otherwise, either that or what little time you had with Sebastian ended up awkward. You still struggled to text the group chat, let alone text Sebastian.

“Focus on this stupid stew -” you cut down hard, hitting the counter with the blade and cutting a chunk out before placing it in an oven dish. You set up the pot over the stove and throw Frog a small chunk of pumpkin, “Good boy!” you rub his head as he grins at you. The oven ticks away for 40 minutes, but to you, it feels as if an eternity has passed. Your mind couldn't leave the idea of Sebastian knocking at the door. Sometimes you’d hear a noise outside or the windchimes on your porch flutter a tune and you would stop everything in its tracks to listen out for a knock - but alas none came. The ringing of the oven alarm makes you jump, and you load all of the ingredients from the oven dish into the huge pot of broth over the stove. Just as you wash your hands, the door rattles with a knock and you think a spur of adrenaline just ran through you.

“Seb! Hi,” you awkwardly open the latch and greet Sebastian. He looks a little flustered at the door, ready and in his usual attire nearly 2 hours later. “Sorry I took so long… had to finish a work thing”

“It's ok!” you step back, allowing him in. “You didn’t have to come if you didn't want” You smile joyfully at his presence.

“No I… wanted to?” he sounds unsure saying it, once again, admitting he likes your company seems difficult for him. Before you can give another awkward and delayed response, Frog gives a soft bark while wagging his tail and bounds up to Sebastian - who gladly begins to pamper Frog. “Oh hey!” he smiles while ruffling the fur on Frog's back.

“His name is Frog” You begin to tidy the mess you've made in the kitchen, scooping up cutting boards and utensils as fast as you can to clear the mess from your guest's view.

“Frog?” Sebastian looks surprised for a moment, you see him give an earnest smile before you properly turn your head and he bows down to Frog again. “That's a really cool name, and whoever chose it must be really cool too” he ruffles Frog's ears and chuckles at him as if he can acknowledge what he said.

You snorted a little, he could be funny when he wasn't so titchy. “Yeah, I’m sure” You try not to grin too widely, throwing things in the sink and filling it with warm bubbly water to clean later on. “Sorry for the mess, I’m trying to get shit for the Luau ready” you scamper around the kitchen while Sebastian absentmindedly plays with Frog.

“Oh yeah… You have to do that” he laughs at your expense. “You know Mayor Lewis won't give you slack if you don't join. He's not that harsh” Sebastian is now leaning up against your counter directly opposite you as you hurdle things into the dish water and wipe down the counter.

“It's not just Lewis, it's everyone” As you say this you turn, not expecting the tall boy to be there and you nearly bump straight into him. “Sorry” you suck a breath in and step back, “I mean like, everyone has lived here for so long and I’ve barely been here three months - I want to make a somewhat good impression”

He looks a tad flustered “Yeah but don't worry about impressing everyone” he crosses his arms, reasserting his stoic demeanour “Not everyone in this town deserves you”

You raise an eyebrow

“You’re kind. You’re kindness” he finishes rapidly, reaffirming to himself more than anyone else that he definitely was not admiring.

“It's fine” you laugh weakly. Did that seriously just happen?

With the kitchen mostly clean, you redirect your gaze to the boxes still piled up in the corner of the living room. The ones that have been there since you moved three months ago and haven't had the time nor strength to unpack and build. But before you can even start talking, Sebastian walks over to the boxes “Which one do we need to do first?”

It was now you realise Sebastian was much more of a ‘doing’ person than a ‘saying’ person. While he was a man of little words, his actions meant more than one could say. There was absolutely no reason that he had to spend his day helping you build furniture, yet here he was. At the same time, however, it was difficult to get more than a few sentences out of him, let alone a phone call or text. It had been like that the whole time really, and it seemed only three months later he was finally defrosting a little around you. He wasn't so cold, and sometimes even let a compliment slip his lips. How scandalous.

“This cabinet here” You pull out a larger box, one that you had taken from your city apartment. You had also ordered some new pieces of furniture since you had never had the space to do so before and you were revelling in the idea of a fully customisable home that was yours. Not rented from some big greedy city man but actually yours.

Without instructions, Sebastian pulls the box up and begins taking the pieces out. “I can work on one if you wanna work on a different one, it would be faster”

“Oh. Ok,” there he goes again. The mixed signals from this dude were on another level. Yet you couldn't tell if that's just because he was blunt, or implying he had better things to do today. You pull out an even larger box, this was your new desk since Grandpa didn’t have one. As you begin pulling out the desk legs from the box, Sebastian stops you.

“Actually. It would probably be easier if we just help each other”

You can hardly contain your childish grin, “Sure!” you scuttle over “Whatever works for you”.

You spend the afternoon putting furniture together for your cabin. A new cabinet, a desk, a small kitchen table and all that was left was a thin cardboard box behind what was a pile of wooden pieces and screws. It was nice to sit with Sebastian, to chatter mindlessly about the town. He gave you some insight into the locals - Hayley Larson wasn't as mean as she comes off as, in fact, if you bring drinks she’ll almost let anyone come round for a smoke sesh. Penny Winters, despite her aged face, was just as young as the rest of the group. Unfortunately, she got little spare time as the town's only lower grade teacher. And best of all, Marnie O’Brian and Mayor Lewis are hooking up!

“No fucking way!” you laugh

“Yes way” he smirks

“There's no way you're telling me sweet little Marnie is fucking LEWIS” You hold your head in your hands in pure disbelief.

“Oh you'd think her standards would be higher wouldn't you?” he giggles

“Absolutely! The poor woman must be desperate”

“Ew. I don't wanna think about that” Sebastian sits up from the floor with a screwdriver in hand

“Your fault for bringing it up!” you grab the last thin box, pulling the wrapping off sloppily as you chatter away to Sebastian. It's only when you finally see the insides of the box your heart feels a little heavy. Sebastian almost immediately picks up on your absence of chatter and turns to see you staring at a half-unwrapped landscape painting, a beautiful one at that.

“Did you paint that?”

“Huh” snapping back into reality, you clutch the frame a little tighter and let the remainder of the packaging fall off. “No no… It's my nannas” you sigh.

Sebastian falls silent. You think perhaps he doesn't know what to say, he was never the sensitive type.

“I think” he steps forwards to your side, your arms brushing against each other. “I think my mum has one just like that in our living room - same style and everything”

That made sense, from what you remember anyway. Your Nanna died when you were young, you were barely 10 when she passed. She was lucky she never got to see her family crumble apart at your fault you supposed, that was a positive. But she was immortalised in her stunning paintings, she had a beautiful impressionist style with vibrant colours and thick brush strokes. While you knew she had done paintings of people and animals, her speciality was stunningly picturesque landscapes just like this one.

“Yeah, she sold some of them” You failed to mention that most of her collection was in your mother's possession that you'd probably never see again.

“It's really beautiful” he admits

“I would be offended if you said anything less”

The painting in your hands was of the farm in its glory days. With lush trees and acres of crops, wheat fields and chickens in the long grass. Your grandparent's cabin was shiny and had a vibrant orange tinge to the tiles. Smoke trickled out of the chimney and the painting even included the delicate detailing of the greenhouse in the background. It reminded you that the greenhouse was now just rubble…

“You good?”

You’ve been staring for too long.

“Sorry,” you look to your right to see a concerned Sebastian, one hand outreached as if to comfort you but not sure how.

“Do you wanna see it?”

“See what?”

“The painting at mine… You can come round after the Luau if you want. Or another time” he stutters

“Sounds great”

There's an awkward pause

“I should get going,” Sebastian rubs the back of his neck.

You skip in front of him before he can scuttle out of the door - “do me a favour!” you grin, opening the lid of the pot on the stove and scooping out a spoonful. “Try this for me? I want it to be good” You hold out the spoon to him eagerly. Sebastian's expression is fixed in a curious look, his senses heightened from the moment you opened the pot lid. "What do I look like? A lab rat?" He takes the spoon from you, sipping the thick broth tentatively.

“Wow” he mutters, “This is really good” he mumbles while ravaging the chunk of pumpkin on the spoon in front of him. “This is just like my mums?”

“It's her recipe!”

“My mum gave you her recipe!?”

“It's slightly modified” You completely ignore his shock “but it's good, right? Oh, I'm so fucking glad-”

“Can I have a bowl?”

You pause, your celebrations interrupted. “Sure?” you chuckle to yourself mostly, you felt like your efforts to please the townsfolk were well underway and starting strong with the Bankes family. “I’ll fix you a bowl to take home if you want?” you begin scooping a serving into a plastic Tupperware, fixing the lid tight and setting it on top of the toolbox. “Give this to your mum while you're at it”

“Thanks”

For once his cheeks curl up into a smile. Not a cheeky smile or a smirk, but an earnest smile with dimples and all.

“I’ll see you at the Luau tomorrow?” you smile back, trying not to stare or draw too much attention to his current vulnerability.

“Hmhm!” he nods quickly, flipping his fringe back slightly to reveal more freckles and stubble around his jaw.

As Sebastian hops down the steps, happier than you've ever seen him, he turns back to you on the final step “Oh I forgot to mention - we're going to get really drunk with some others after the Luau, you up for it?”

You cross your arms as the huge grin on your face tells Sebastian your answer before you even say yes “Who's coming?”

“Alex, Penny, Emily, Hayley and the usual”

“Sure thing!” you nervously nod along, waving as the sombre boy hurries up the path behind your house with a toolbox and Tupperware in hand. You close the door and almost collapse against the counter. “Holy shit Frog” you rise up, walking towards Frog who's now excitedly spinning in circles as you approach. “He liked my cooking! And he invited me to a thing!! A thing!” Frog starts howling lowly in response to your excitement - “Not Abigail, not Sam Sebastian actually invited me!” you fall back into your armchair. The adrenaline fades as the reality of going to a social function sets in. Come on - you're 24 Player, you can handle some drinks with the locals.

Before you do anything else with your day, you decide to hang up your grandma's painting on the mantle of the chimney. Right in the centre of the house, it brought some colour to the dull grey of the chimney stone and before you even realised it yourself seemed to finally bring everything together. The final touch.

Chapter Text

Frog was chasing you around the cabin, probably under the impression you were playing some elaborate game of tag when in actuality you’re rushing to get ready for the Luau. You beg Frog to let you pass into the bedroom as he hops from side to side in the doorway so you can grab your nice trainers to wear, don't want the townsfolk thinking you’re poor even though you've spent the last 4 months on an abandoned farm in an barely habitable building with barely running amenities (we're not gonna talk about the shower not functioning properly right now, ok?).

Finally, you manage to look in the mirror at your functional appearance. Hair styled, trainers on, with a beige cotton button up shirt adjourned with pastel green leaves and vines to suit the summer-y theme. Followed with some airy blue jeans to keep somewhat cool on the beach, you’re satisfied with the outcome despite the redness in your face suggesting otherwise and decide it's finally time to leave. Abigail agrees to help you carry the huge pot of Pumpkin Stew down to the beach, giggling and swaying along the way while trying to not drop 4 hours worth of work in the forest. She's wearing a black pleated skirt with ripped fishnets and a thin graphic t-shirt to suit the weather. As she ties up her hair along the way, you realise she has an undercut you've never seen before! It's the first time for everything, you guess, including this Luau.

You finally make it, trying not to let yourself get overwhelmed at the approaching lights, music and chatter. The beach was beautiful, however, with dainty multi coloured string lights and gentle, mossy green waves lapping up at the beach. It was bustling, accompanied by jazzy music on the huge speakers near what was the supposed dance floor for today. The sand was warm, soft and for once didn’t seem to bother you when it got in your trainers. There are palm leaves laid down on the beach, sort of like a rug, with rows and rows of tables absolutely stuffed with food. There was sandwiches, pies, quiches, a whole fucking chicken, soups, rice dishes, noodles, salads and dressings galore. There were even an assortment of coolers filled with ice creams and alcohol to pass around. Gus proudly displays an array of matching trays filled with pastas and pizzas along his own table - while everyone else found space for their items elsewhere. I mean, what else would you expect from the town's caterer? He often pretends to hold disdain for such a title, but you can tell he secretly loves the glory as townsfolk faces light up as they pass his table.

Abigail helps you heave the large pot up onto a smaller table with a little butter yellow tablecloth - one of the only tables with space left - and immediately older members of the community come to inspect your contribution. While Abigail manages to saunter off towards the docks, which you notice is where Sebastian is sat, you pin up a smile and roll compliments off the tongue towards Marnie's quiche, Carolines mashed potato and Evelyn's famous cookies as you engage in some weird cross inspection ceremony. It doesn't take long for Caroline and Jodi to make a comment that you're an incredibly good cook… for a man , which rubs you the wrong way. You can't think about that right now, far too much to unpack in the middle of the Luau. Besides, Caroline was too busy interrogating you about where you disappeared during the Flower Dance even though you boldly claim it was definitely not with her delinquent daughter Abigail… Geez, take some time off the helicopter duties Caroline - your daughter's 20. 

You're finally saved by Elliot and Leah, who pull you aside for some random chatter about the farm. Although you'd seen Leah occasionally when walking Frog through the forest, Elliot was still a kind of pretentious mystery to you - but you promised yourself you wouldn't make assumptions about people before getting to know them and this was your chance. Despite some flowery language, the guy was really nice! And definitely knew how to dress. Elliot had a stunningly white cotton shirt on, somewhat loose on his chiselled form and tucked into brown knee length shorts which you can only describe as akin to the summer shorts you find at a fancy boarding school - but he managed to make the look work while covered in shiny golden accessories. Leah was in denim shorts and a mini strapped crop top she knitted herself - something you genuinely found really impressive. She promised to teach you some time how to create something of your own, you struggle to listen since you’re fixated on her beautiful floral tattoos on her arms, chest and stomach. You taste each one's contribution, Elliot brought some genuinely devine crab cakes with a buttery, soft filling. While Leah brings a huge salad bowl. While you admit that the cool dressing was refreshing in the heat, it didn't do much for flavour - yet you beamed at her anyway as you shovelled iceberg lettuce, tomatoes and feta in your gob.

You branch out, beginning to wander around giving pleasantries to everyone, most people excited to try your first Luau dish; you realise Sebastian has come up about twice for a serving of your stew. That fluttering feeling kept flashing back up whenever you thought of it, honestly, everyone could hate the stew for all you cared - at least your friend liked it. At least Sebastian liked it. 

Speaking of friends, you catch a few glances of Sam running around piling his plate up in ripped denim shorts with a crinkled yellow tank top you can only describe as blinding you with how saturated the colour was, but you weren't surprised that Sam would turn up in the worst shade of yellow you've ever seen.

Finally, Lewis convinces you to greet the Governor (who you're sure he only made you to convince him that people are still interested in the area enough to move here) and you give him an awkward, sweaty handshake before running off towards the dock just in time to make eye contact with the group. Sam, Abigail and Sebastian are all perched with their feet hanging off the dock, something you're still not confident enough to do, with plates filled with food. All besides Sebastian however, who's on his 4th bowl of your stew.

—

“Sorry” Sebastian puffs with an air of annoyance, at himself, as you hike up the trail to the Bankes house. The sun is beginning to set over the trees ahead, but the sky is a warm mix of orange and purple filled with dazzling stars, something you've never seen in the city before.

“It's fine dude, dont worry about it” you give Sebastian a weak smile despite him clenching his clammy hands together, occasionally pulling at his shirt to let air in. 

Sebastian had realised that, in actuality, he couldn't just wear jeans and two layers on one of the hottest days of the summer and made the decision to walk home, change and then come back to the after party as soon as he could. Sam, Abigail and the rest had already begun setting up drinks and music at Haley and Emily Larsons place - and you had offered to make the walk with Sebastian. What confused you somewhat, however, is that simply taking the hoodie off was not enough to cool Sebastian - but hey, everyone has different tolerance levels.

“I just, yeah I don't know I just put a tight vest on today - wasn't really thinking about it” his voice croaks with embarrassment as if he's admitting something humiliating. You certainly knew what that felt like, to wear a tight ‘vest’ everyday for nearly a decade. It was a shame you couldn't bring up the fact you had similar situations with your old binders, that would be more awkward… definitely. 

“No biggie, I get it” was all you could think of in reply. Sebastian nearly snaps his neck towards you, the taller boy glancing at you with a look you could only discern as panic. Your confusion seems to calm him however, as he goes back to walking, quicker this time. 

By the time you and Sebastian are back at the party, he looks much more comfortable in a pair of lighter trainers and a pair of long shorts. Taking note of even more freckles down his legs, you open the door to the Larson house filled with blaring music. You’re not sure why he mentioned the vest, as the outline of it was still visible under his t-shirt at certain angles, surely he would have taken it off? Regardless, you shake it off and follow Sebastian around to mingle. Only problem is, he's grabbing a drink and walking straight to Haley Larson. After a short chat, including a few genuine laughs and an exchange of notes, you realise that Sebastian wasn’t having a best-friend-forever catch up with Haley.

“Didn’t realise you smoked, I would've been your friend a long time ago” you chuckle as if you guys haven't been friends near the entire duration you've been here.

“Dude, have you seen me?”

You shrug cheekily, “well… yeah I mean you look like a stoner, I just didn't want to assume”

Sebastian narrows his eyes at you before letting a sly smile peek through, “rude”

“You asked!”

“Why, you not into it?” his smile genuinely falters into a concerned frown as he asks.

“Yeah I’ve smoked before, I just never thought I’d be able to find a dealer in fucking Pelican Town so I assumed I would never see a joint again”

“Well isn't it your lucky day?” Sam bounds over, interrupting on the last trails of the conversation. “Emily’s girlfriend up in Calico Desert gets in bulk, and sells to Emily and Haley”

“And then Haley sells to everyone else” Abigail grins, “it's a good price too”

“Damn” you laughed, “I know this sounds bad, but I genuinely thought everyone here would be a bit too conservative for that”

“And… you decided to move here on that assumption?”

Sebastian looks at you puzzledly, almost as if he's trying to figure you out with some concern. The word conservative comes to mind as a potential trigger.

“Not like that! I’m not, I mean. Guys come on, look at me! You think I moved to Pelican Town for some tradwife hunting dream?”

Abigail bursts into laughter, already on her fourth drink, “come on Sebastian” she giggles at him.

“Sorry” he says to you for the second time this night, you're worried he's almost retreating.

“No worries, I worded it wrong - let's just drink, yeah?”

The night goes smoothly. The three of you grab drink after drink while mindlessly talking and playing drinking games with the rest of the party. Black Jack, Never Have I Ever, Ring of Fire, and Truth or Dare all come up at least once. But you find yourselves on another game of Ring of Fire for the moment.

You’re on your fourth vodka and coke now, peering around as Alex spins the deck of cards so they lay in an even circle around the large pint glass in the middle of the table. “You first, Player” Alex shoots you an almost cunning glare. You’re not sure if you're just assuming poorly of this guy because he looks like every guy in school that bullied you or because he's so impatient to start the game he can't stand you hovering your hands over the cards. Picking up a card in one swift motion, you read outloud “four”

“Whore!” Haley giggles.

Ah yes, the ‘four-whore’ card: take a shot if you’ve had sex before. Although you’re used to the game, moving town has made you realise that basically every place has a different way of arranging the cards and what rules are in place. This was one you hadn't had before. Despite that, the card isn't revolutionary to you and you start pouring yourself a shot. That is until you realise that the rest of the group is going wild at the fact that Penny is no longer nursing her white wine and begins to pour herself a shot of vodka -

Oh yeah… you were now living in a small town and that meant that this was like a goldmine of gossip for everyone.

“Girl when?? Who?” Haley practically squeals as she shakes the tipsy Penny in a long buttercup summer dress next to her.

“Absolutely not” Penny blushes, “I just have to take the shot - I don't have to tell you!”

The rest of the group begins to chirp up in drunken whoops and yells, obsessed with finding out who it is. Despite your quietness, you were thoroughly intrigued. I mean everyone was right, who the hell could it be? It could very well be someone in the room. Alex and Haley were practically begging Penny for an answer, so definitely not them. Leah is sitting with a whiskey giggling at the sight, but seems just as intrigued as everyone else. Elliot is whispering in her ear as they begin debating who it could be… so no Elliot. Emily and Abigail begin smiling knowingly at one another, before poking Sam.

Oh shit, yeah, Sam and Penny are friends. Something you didn't realise until you noticed the two sat on benches or in the library together with the kids every other day. 

“It's not me!” Sam whisper shouts, “You guys know I've only had sex with one person - lay off!”

That's interesting, now who could that be.

During your conspiring between whos Sams only fuck buddy is and who Penny had sex with, and if either of them where lying about eachother, you turn to make a quip at Sebastian to realise hes simply waiting to take his shot in hand with a flushed face. Suddenly, your mind is racing even more, it's not weird or shocking that he's had sex… but in the context of this small town you can do nothing else but question who? Is someone in this room his ex?

Before you can even question it further, the group suddenly breaks out into a roar as Penny reveals who it is, and you've completely missed it.

“Wait, who?”

Sebastian turns to you with a mix of concern and laughter paired with relief, “my sister!”

Oh shit it's Maru, the only person not at the party. 

“Awkward much?”

“It could be worse, I mean hey Penny seems like a nice girl. I’d rather her than… well I don't even know who else. If Demetrius is gonna accept anyone it would be Penny”

Penny Winters was the perfect small town girl, she was quiet, reserved but extremely polite and easy on the eyes. She never made a wrong move, or behaved in a way that was obtrusive to anything around her. She seemed to mould into whatever shape was needed of her for the day and time. It was almost kind of sad in a way, especially after you met Pam Winters, who was the loudest woman you've ever met. She was a nice lady but it made you question how Penny ended up so much like… well Penny. With bright copper hair in delicate buns and a perfect middle parting and muddy green eyes, Penny was perfectly nothing. And you felt horrible for thinking it, but this was the first time you'd heard more from her than a simple hello or basic pleasantries about your farm. Maybe you just had a lot more to learn than you did with everyone else. 

And well, you had, for sure. You didn’t realise how many people in this town would be queer, it was refreshing honestly. You had become accustomed to the saturated personalities of the city, you could find whatever group you wanted if you tried hard enough. But here it felt special to have so many flourishing personalities, there were a few stuck in the mud types... Particularly Caroline & Demetrius who seemed a little too ‘in their ways’ for your liking - but even then, their downfalls were somewhat expected for their age range. 

“So are you guys dating?” you chirp up with intrigue

“Uhm” the entire party comes to a stop to hear the words from Penny’s lips.

“Yeah, yeah we are. But I'm not supposed to be saying anything yet… Can I take my shot now?”

The party erupts again in cheers as if something momentous had happened, and you had to take a moment to realise that a relationship in a town of 28 was sort of a big deal.

“Told you it wasn't me! Penny’s like my sister” Sam shakes his head in genuine disappointment towards Abigail and Emily despite her persistent poking that ‘it still could've happened!’

You take the moment to look around and see who has shots… Penny, Emily, Leah, Elliot, Sam, Sebastian and you. Surprisingly, less people than you had thought. Was it wrong to assume someone like Alex or Haley would have gotten it over with already? You weren't too shocked about Abigail, given her parents. But that meant that those three were out of the picture for Sebastian and Sam's escapades. Who could it be then? Something you’d have to ask when you were closer with the group. What you realised tonight is that you were tearing apart a lot of assumptions you had made about people here.

Down goes the shot, it's warm from sitting on the counter all night, which does not help the sting that follows. Pure vodka, always great for a young adult party. How has it only been one go in this Yoba forsaken game?

—

“So, how the fuck are we doing this?”

Sam looks at you with some real fear, with Abigail's tall form fallen over his shoulder mumbling something incoherent. The four of you were horrifically drunk, but you and Sam somehow had more ability than your gothic companions. Sebastian is currently leaning on you in a similar fashion to Abigail and Sam. His eyes are fluttering as if he's about to pass out right then and there, but somehow still giggling as if Sam's comment was funny and totally not from panic. Well, at least he hasn't thrown up yet… Unlike Abigail. You consciously peer back at the side of the river which is still polluted with a dark green from Abigail’s stomach - better outdoors than in someone's house. 

You sigh, “I guess one of us takes one each?”

“Are you good to walk up the hill with Seb?”

“I think i’ll be fine, how the fuck are you getting into Pierres house exactly?”

“Abigail's bedroom is on the bottom floor - she always leaves her window open on a night out”

Right, strict parents.

“Well, I guess if you got a plan, we’re good?” you roll your eyes instinctively at the thought of carrying Seb up that fucking mountain trail… You could call Robin, but that would be embarrassing for you and Seb. Better not.

“Just one thing” you let your drunken confidence get the better of you before Sam can fully turn away, “who the fuck did you and Seb sleep with… I’ve been trying to figure it out all night and I can't imagine anyone else… doing it with either of you” you laugh sleepily as the words roll out, you sound insane, but not as insane as you would be if you were sober. 

Abigail's shaky voice reappears out of nowhere; “it's like hearing your parents have sex, GROSS!”

What does that have to do with-? Oh.

You look up at Seb, he's already got his hand slapped against his face in drunken embarrassment.

“Whoops. Sorry, that was-”

“Awkward. Yes. please can I go home” Sebastian cuts you off with a steady voice for once. Yep, couldn't have said it better yourself.

Sam and Sebastion, now that was... unexpected.

“Anyway… see you later?” Sam scratches the back of his neck and begins to make the short walk to Abigail's bedroom window.

“Sure thing!” you answer with a curious enthusiasm. You’d definitely have to unpack that when you weren't near blackout drunk carrying a cute goth boy up the hill.