Work Text:
Alex had been attending a series of meetings the entire day, finally getting ready to head home when his phone buzzes. It’s Tim forwarding him a link followed by a text:
“Have you seen this? It came out today.”
Alex clicks the link which turns out to be a series of not very flattering photos of Greg titled “Have they let themselves go?” There are other celebrities as well, but there is an entire segment with dedicated text describing why the author considers the subject of the photos to be undesirable. Who dedicates their time to curate these?
Alex just huffs, thanks Tim for the heads up and starts to head home faster than he originally intended. He didn’t want to forward the link to Greg in case he hadn’t seen it yet - he’d much rather let him know in person, so that he could be there to catch his reaction and ease his worries.
There would be worries. Greg had made a career of self-deprecation, putting himself down - better I laugh at myself first. Alex himself had fallen into the same trap, but there were differences. Alex genuinely had very little regard for self image. Greg was always so impressed at the lack of ego as far as his appearance was concerned as well as the extreme nihilistic approach of nothing really matters Alex had towards life. Greg, in turn, had to adopt a fake it til you make it kind of approach. It worked. In part.
The nihilistic approach, if Alex was being honest, was also a sham. In part. It was all true in regards to himself, but when it concerned people he loved, he actually cared. A lot.
Knowing that, he really wanted to arrive home as fast as possible - intending not to allow the article to undo all the progress he had made with Greg. Getting Greg away from the self-deprecating thing had been a task he had taken upon himself - his biggest challenge so far - which hadn’t been satisfactorily accomplished yet. After having come to the conclusion that these self-loathing "jokes" festered in Greg’s mind, he had gently tried to lead Greg away from such kind of humor to varying degrees of success.
Plus, Greg was such a good soul when it concerned anyone else. Always surrounded by friends, always kind, considerate and generous to anyone around him. Always so loving and careful with Alex. In contrast, always savage with himself. Alex didn’t like that and he definitely didn’t need an article to confirm all of Greg’s badly hidden insecurities.
He needed to get home.
————
Upon arriving at the apartment, Alex called out to Greg who came to the living room all showered in an oversized jumper and sweatpants, hair still dripping.
“You didn’t wait for me to shower?” Alex looked disappointed.
“Sorry, I felt too icky after being encapsulated the entire day in that office.”
“I hope you don’t mind I’m still icky from the street”, he said capturing Greg’s face between his hands and planting a kiss full on his lips with as much love as he could convey in a somewhat chaste kiss.
“Never.”
Alex held him tight and although he had his face deeply buried on Greg’s neck, he heard perfectly well when Greg stated: “You saw the article.”
Not a question.
At this point they had such a good reading on each other that they could pretty much guess the other’s thoughts without a second glance. Greg knew the extra attention he was getting from Alex after having just arrived home had to have a reason, as much as Alex knew that Greg had showered by himself to avoid scrutiny. The oversized jumper told the same story as he usually left the bedroom shirtless after a shower. He didn’t say anything, though. This dance they did was as unspoken as it was thoroughly rehearsed. Alex knew how to navigate this. Don’t push.
“Yes, I did. Are you ok, my love?”
Greg just nodded as he returned Alex’s hug with a firm grip. It was the truth he was trying to tell himself. Alex didn’t buy it but he would take care of him. He kissed his neck and whispered I love you into his skin. He kissed Greg full on the lips again before relating his plan for the rest of the night.
“Why don’t you order something while I shower? I want to give you my full attention after I am also clean.”
Greg nodded in agreement not letting go completely of him and Alex immediately identified the restraint in his gestures. It was a far cry from the FUCK THEM IF I CARE! he used to shout before, when making light of something, even if it didn’t really match his feelings. He would still do that when talking to other people sometimes, but that attitude didn’t really have a place in his home anymore.
Alex went on to shower as quickly as he could and came back in boxer shorts and a loosely tied checkered robe to food already waiting for him.
“I didn’t hear the bell, what did you order?”
“There was some leftover Thai in the fridge. I hope that’s ok.”
“Oh, of course.” He said making his way to get to the wine fridge kissing Greg’s arm on the way. Although these little kisses and reassurances, were a bit of a stretch to him, they made a world of difference to the much more tactile Greg and he had learned to be a lot more liberal with small gestures.
They both sat at the counter and Alex let Greg lead the conversation. Don’t push. He knew forcing Greg to talk about it would cause him to close in on himself and he had to be very strategic on his approach. He let Greg go on about his day, the scripts, the meetings he had had throughout the afternoon. Greg didn’t leave any silences to be filled with questions. Alex noticed.
Alex was not really paying attention to his food. He got a few bites in, but was much more worried about holding Greg’s hand while sipping wine. He was also watching out of the corner of his eye whether Greg was eating or not. On occasion, in a fit of self-consciousness, Greg would recur to extreme behaviors such as starving himself for long periods of time. It always backfired, he always overate afterwards and ended up feeling worse about himself, so Alex kept an eye.
After finishing up, they headed for the couch. Alex sat and gestured for Greg who plopped himself down practically on top of him. He rested his head on Alex’s shoulder and draped an arm around his waist, inside of the robe. Alex in turn, put his arm around Greg’s back bringing him closer.
The TV was on, but they weren’t watching anything in particular. The hand on Greg’s back started looking for skin under the oversized jumper. Alex rubbed his thumb on the sensitive skin of Greg’s hip, looking for that stretch mark that he liked to pay special attention to.
The gesture was not sexual, nor meant to be sexual, just intimate. Alex was allowed and no amount of oversized jumpers, sweatpants or suits of armor were meant to keep Alex out. Greg nuzzled into Alex’s neck and Alex planted kisses on Greg’s face.
“Do you think I should respond? Maybe I could retweet and make light of it?”
Ah. There it was. Greg brought the subject back himself and there was no need for context, they both knew what he was talking about.
“Don't you think it would just bring more attention to it? Isn’t it better to let it die down?”
“It has been forwarded to me and I have been tagged on it over four hundred times. Not sure I can ignore it.”
“Forwarded in private? By friends?”
“Some.”
Dealing with the consequences of Greg’s previous actions was a minefield. After spending years making fun of himself, maybe he got ahead of the game a little bit, but it also opened the door for people to do it to him and not think much of it. Alex knows old habits die hard and that Greg used to be comfortable with this brand of humor. He navigated a very thin line because he doesn’t want to tell Greg what is funny, how he should be funny. At the same time, he was witnessing the change in Greg’s perception shift, nudged by himself who wasn’t a fan of such humor - mainly because Greg did care. The process was not so easy and Alex was prepared to collect the pieces in case things went awry.
“If you respond, the people who haven’t seen it will definitely see it. You’ll just bring more publicity to it.”
Greg sighed and held Alex closer if that was even possible as if trying to merge them both into one. Alex knew Greg was feeling insecure and he hated that, but the closeness, the trust, the vulnerability let him know that he was Greg’s safe place and he was glad to be that for him. He just wanted to put the 6’8 man in a little jar on his pocket and protect him from everything.
“Maybe if you stop engaging people will realize you’re not doing that anymore? It could be a strategy if you don’t want to be upfront about it.”
Alex combed his fingers through Greg’s hair with his other hand while Greg was deep in thought.
“Would it be worth it for me to fight a description of me? An accurate one at that?”
“Excuse me.” Alex interrupted. "The text is most certainly not a description. The adjectives that were used, the crass comparisons… Those are not descriptions. That’s just the expression of gratuitous derogatory opinions.”
Alex remembered all too well back to a few years ago, before they were together, when Sally Fields made that joke about someone consuming Piggy Make Ya Fat resulting in them turning into Greg. Just how Greg’s face betrayed him for half a second before he regained his composure. Alex laughed it off at the time, but he had been already observing Greg by then. How he just went a bit quieter after that and when the cameras were off just a bit less loud than usual. Back then, even, it broke his heart and he remembers the urge to kiss his face - which he didn’t. Alex had already started keeping inventory of Greg’s reactions: pretends not to care about fat jokes.
“I’ll ignore it,” Greg decided.
“Can I do something about it?”
“What, you’ll defend my honor?” Greg stated in a mock formal tone.
“Do you want me to defend your honor?”
Greg looked up at Alex throwing him a puzzled look and didn’t really know how to phrase anything. Well, he didn’t have anything to phrase, since he hadn’t made sense of Alex's proposal. No, he didn’t need him to defend his honor, but he appreciated the offer. It would be nice, for a change, to have someone publicly on his side. He leaned in to kiss Alex in thanks.
“Not necessary, love” he smiled at Alex basically with heart eyes and went back to his position half sitting on the couch half laying on Alex’s chest. “But just so I know, how would you go about it?”
Alex took his phone out of his pocket and aimed it at both of them snapping a photo which captured him kissing Greg’s forehead and Greg instinctively closing his eyes at the gesture. It did look so very sweet.
“I can play with the caption on Instagram,” Alex raised his eyebrows at the thought.
“Right. It should say Not as bad as it looks or If I can put up with him, so can you."
Alex just looked at him trying to convey love in lieu of frustration. Greg didn’t need a speech at the moment although his antics still got the best of him a lot of the time. Alex just found his way back to Greg’s skin under the clothes. “I don’t think so, my love.” Alex was nothing if not patient.
Greg just grunted. “Leave it be. I’ll just post FUCK YOU ALL in caps. At least they’ll be talking about me.”
“Maybe I should post a naked one of us and caption it My Magnificent Beast”.
Greg chuckles “Instagram will ban you, though.”
Alex shrugs “At least I’ll go out with a bang.”
Greg stifled a yawn giving up on his battle with his muscles. In the end of the day, the situation had caused him some tension and he ached all over. “I should go to bed. I didn’t do anything after I read the damn article and I’m exhausted. I should try to do something early tomorrow and today I’m ruined. Will you come too?” Greg looked at Alex in such a way that Alex understood it was more of a plea than a question.
“Of course.”
They both rose from the sofa and headed for the bedroom, performing their nightly routine. When Greg came out of the bathroom, Alex was sitting on the bed, back against the headboard waiting for Greg with a strategy. Had he been laying down, they’d go to their regular positions of Alex being the little spoon, and he wanted to reverse things. Much easier to get the upper hand having more leverage in more of a sitting position. Plus, he was not so tired, anyway, he could still read for a while.
Greg started heading for the bed when Alex intervened: “You're sleeping in that?” Greg still had his oversized clothes on.
“Humm…” Greg was naively not planning on being caught. He made a joke out of it. “Yeah, no shenanigans tonight. Busy work morning, have to make sure you keep your hands off me.” He answered with a bit of a grin that convinced no one.
“I’ll see what I can do controlling myself. Could you just sleep in your boxers like always? I was hoping to just feel you. It’s not cold tonight, you still have the covers…” Alex negotiated with Greg who decided to give in. The lights were already dim, but Greg still felt somewhat self-conscious despite all the intimacy they already shared. He quickly got under the covers and wrapped himself around Alex as much as possible.
"I'll protect you, my love, you’re safe, I promise." Alex said honestly, disregarding all of Greg’s words and addressing what he knew was the real issue.
Greg was quiet for a while just taking in Alex combing his fingers through his hair, occasionally, caressing his neck, shoulders, arms, then coming back to the hair. Greg’s heart had been racing for some reason when he lay down, but Alex’s soothing motions calmed him down, like always. Although it was a well known joke that Greg didn’t really get Alex’s brand of comedy, he actually loved it most of the time - loved all of Alex, really - but he especially loved that Alex knew when to be serious too. They must have been quiet for more than five minutes when Greg whispered: "There’s a part of me that thinks you’ll face something like that article and regret your decisions.”
Alex didn’t miss a beat, though. “I will reassure you as much as you need that cannot happen. That is not the basis of my feelings for you” he matched Greg’s quiet tone never stopping the soothing motion of his hand. It was said in such a matter-of-fact way, Greg didn’t even consider to question it.
After a few minutes, Alex felt Greg’s grip relax a bit warning him Greg had probably fallen asleep. He kept his movements, still wanted to reassure Greg, even in his sleep. He picked up his phone again remembering the two hundred and fifty plus messages he ignored when he had turned on the phone to snap the shot of them, favoring giving Greg his full attention. Scrolling through them, there was a mix of support, jokes and a non-negligible amount of nasty comments. Alex just sighed: that was a small sample of the internet - not much he could do about it.
Tomorrow, Greg would probably wake up on a much brighter disposition, hopefully more reassured. He was excellent at making people around him feel comfortable, possibly the most approachable person Alex had ever met. Not just that, but he was a people magnet, everyone loved to be around him, hear his stories, just be in his presence. It still astonished him that Greg didn’t realize things were much more the other way around: he was sure everybody was wandering what a guy like Greg was doing with quirky, weird Alex Horne. He didn't feel undeserving, which didn't stop him from thinking he was a lucky winner.
For the future, at least, Alex was hopeful that all the other people in Greg's life would be kind and respectful to him and, by now, have learned a little bit of his new boundaries.
He opened Instagram knowing full well that his account was more of Taskmaster’s Alex rather than real life's Alex, so whatever he posted had to fit the bill. He thought about it for a while, typed down what he thought was a good caption and put the phone back on the nightstand. Whatever was going to come their way, he could deal with the next day. For now, he just carefully maneuvered to make sure not to disturb Greg too much while maintaining his own big spoon status lying down next to him.
The next morning, Greg woke up with Alex’s arm loosely draped around his waist. He felt content for feeling so much of Alex everywhere. He reluctantly reached out for his phone which he hadn’t checked for hours to face reality.
Yes. Thousands of messages and notifications. The latest ones, however, just seemed really sweet, together with a heart and a link. Greg clicked one and was directed to Alex’s Instagram post which probably gathered a record number of impressions. True to his word, Alex did post the picture they had taken the day before - Greg couldn’t get the smile off his face. It lacked the usual deer in the headlights face Alex had mastered or the irritated scowl Greg used as the Taskmaster. Even though he knew they were not in character, it didn't matter. He was overcome with warmth inside and couldn’t help hoping everything was going to be fine. He put his hand over Alex’s arm and reread the caption.
Just finished peeling the dry skin off his feet. Off to my cuddle! He hated it. I love him.