Chapter Text
Thire had been the one to find him this time, passed out in a pool of his own blood, and from his injuries neither of them could explain how Fox had made it back to base.
Thire had insisted that Fox go to medical but Fox had made him promise to keep this just been them and when he regained consciousness, he was laying on his back on the sofa in his office, Thire administering bacta to his face, having already cleared the worst of the blood from Fox’s body.
Thire saw his eyes open and scowled at him, angry and frustrated.
“You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“It’s what I deserve.”
Thire shook his head and Fox could see the pain in his eyes.
“Fox, I wish you’d —“
“I know.”
He’d had this same conversation with Thorn and Stone and Hound had all but burst into tears begging him to stop looking for trouble in the lower levels and getting himself beaten so badly he felt it for weeks afterwards.
But it was what he deserved.
Fox had done many things in his time as Commander of the Coruscant Guard, some of those he wasn’t proud of, some of those he’d come to regret, but he’d allows followed orders, not questioning the chain of command until —
Fives.
Fives haunted him, kept him awake at night, staring back at him accusingly from the eyes of his brothers.
Fox deserved to be punished for what he’d done to Fives.
“Rex is on base.” Thire muttered, reluctant and uncertain and Fox’s gaze focused on him.
“Good.”
If anyone had the right to make him suffer, it was Rex.
And from Rex’s body language, even if his face showed only stony indifference, it was obvious he wanted to make Fox pay for what he’d done.
Fox had just stepped out of his office, on his way to the senate building when Rex caught up with him, falling into step beside him.
“Rex.” Fox acknowledge him.
“I think it’s time we talked.” Rex stated, getting straight to the point, as he was always known to do, ever since they were cadets.
Fox nodded: “Follow me.”
They walked in silence, Fox nodding to guards on duty and random officials; Rex ramrod straight, fists clenched, keeping pace with him.
The moment they were alone, Rex grabbed him by the chest plate and shoved him up against the wall, and Fox barely stopped the cry of pain from gushing out of him as his already beaten body hit the durasteel - but he did nothing to stop Rex.
Rex pulled off his helmet and for the first time Fox could see the hurt and anger and frustrated questions in Rex’s eyes.
“I know what you think of me, Rex.” Fox said as he pulled off his own helmet. “You think I’m a monster.”
He was a monster.
“You are a monster.”
They stared at each other.
“I saw the report you sent to General Skywalker.” Rex all but growled. “‘You neutralised an armed and dangerous assailant.’“
Fox didn’t say anything.
“It was Fives. Fives, our brother. Not just some nameless kriffing assailant!” Rex was in his face, and all pretence of calm was gone. “You shot a brother dead!”
Fox didn’t say anything.
“Don’t you kriffing care a brother is dead by your hands?!”
There were tears in Rex’s eyes and Fox’s heart all but broke that he was the one to put them there.
“You have every right to hurt me, Rex. I won’t stop you.”
Rex faltered.
“You want to hurt me, so go ahead.” Fox said again, lifting his arms up straight to the side, exposing his whole body to Rex. “I won’t stop you.”
Rex’s eyes searched his, his anger and frustration warring with something else, something that made him hesitate.
“You said it yourself, Rex, I killed a brother.”
“You want me to hurt you,” Rex stated it as a fact, not a question.
“It’s what I deserve.” Fox’s voice broke and with it went his resolve and his body began to shake with the force of the emotion he didn’t know how to express. “I’m a monster.”
Rex let him go and stood back and Fox slid down to his knees, hiding his face in his hands, as his body convulsed in silent tears.
“You should kill me.” He gasped in between sobs.
“I’m not going to kill you, Fox.” Rex was calm again, his anger replaced by sadness. “I’ve already lost enough brothers.”
Fox looked up at him, both pleading and hopeful.
“But I don’t forgive you.”
Fox looked back at the floor between his knees.
“You have to live with what you’ve done.”
Fox heard Rex walk away and ducked his head down to touch his knees, letting the physical pain of his body wash away the mental pain of his guilt.