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Mike was kissing him on the brow, his temple, his jawline. The feathery flutter of his lips descended on his neck, made its way towards his nape to reach the spot where the shivers would usually tickle his skin. Tingles went down his spine, sweet and unpleasant all at once.
“Mike… Not there, please.”
“Ok”, came the soft answer.
Locks of dark hair brushed Will’s cheeks as brown eyes met him.
“You sure you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m great. Don’t worry. I just spaced out for a second. And my skin is sensitive on the back of my neck. You know, True Sight and all.” The concerned look he received at this made him sigh. “Mike, I promise. If anything was wrong, I would tell you.”
“Even if you deem it not important?”
“Yeah. You’ll be the first to learn about the slightest headache I have”, Will grinned.
The worry that had put a frown on Mike’s face took some time to disappear. To erase it faster, Will shoved Mike on his back and climbed on his lap. It took Mike by surprise, although it was a rather pleasant surprise given his smirk.
“What the hell Byers, what have you done to shy and sweet Will?”
“Is that really how you see me, Wheeler?” Will tried to stay serious and furrowed his eyebrows in mock discontent.
Mike’s smile only got wider. “Well, Will the Wise is supposed to be the benevolent one. Kind, calm and rational. Cautious, not reckless. Not interested in girls or boys.” Mike snorted at his own words. “I mean, he was always the one who scolded the party when it got distracted by promises of marriage with some king’s daughter. I wonder who made you so romantic and enthusiastic since then.”
“Yeah, I also wonder.”
They kissed, an embrace of fierce love and admiration and trust. A hand played with the bottom hem of Will’s blue shirt for a while, a gesture that dared not got further. Fingers hovered above his stomach, as if asking for permission. Not a word was exchanged. Will only pressed harder. A palm travelled on smooth skin, up and up and up. Lips met again, then eyes. Never had Will been so aware of his own body, of the intensity of Mike’s gaze on him. It had been a long and tough road for both of them, a road that had yet to end. But it was worth it, even for this moment only. In front of them, far beyond the breach from which the Upside Down expanded, beyond the terror of deaths yet to come, the horizon somehow dared to shine full of promises.
“Where are you, Will?”
“What?” His eyes snapped back up and he realized that they had been covered by the thick veil of one who is lost in thought. “Nowhere. I’m right here.”
“You were gone for a minute. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Mike”, Will sighed, more fondly than he had wished to sound. “I swear that–”
“Ok, ok! I didn’t say anything. Just…“ A breath escaped from Mike’s mouth and landed on Will’s cheek. “Don’t go blindly into the dark. Not without me.”
Any more words from Mike and Will would burst into tears and god he did not want this moment to be interrupted. So instead of answering, he rose for Mike’s lips once again. Talking could wait. Besides, he did not need it to convey to Mike what he felt. Since kindergarten, words had often seemed futile. What was the point when they could understand one another through the most fleeting reflexes of their body? Besides, none of them had ever been talkative persons. And since they had started dating – the idea still made his head spin – gentle touches had been a nice addition to their secret way of communicating. This time, Will kissed as hard as he could, nipped at Mike’s bottom lip, slid a hand in the boyish curve of his hips. And Mike responded with sweeter touches, locks of hair intertwining in his fingers. Unfortunately, it seemed that all good things had to come to an end.
“What the fuck are you doing in my house, Michael Wheeler?”
The booming voice made them both startle. They pulled away more quickly than if a Demogorgon had jumped growling through the window. While Mike stumbled backwards and had to grip the bedcover to prevent his impending fall to the ground, Will tried to straighten his shirt as best he could, meaning not very efficiently with the growing bubble of panic settling in his stomach. If his hands started trembling when he saw who was standing in the doorway, well, they had every reason to. The imposing silhouette of Jim Hopper towered above them. Even from a distance, anger could be seen radiating from him.
“Kitchen. Both of you. Now.”
He stomped out, not without bursting the door of Will’s bedroom wide open before disappearing. He left only silence behind him. Mike finally let go of the cover, stunned, and fell not so gracefully.
“Holy shit. Holy shit”, he repeated while climbing back next to Will. He frantically scratched at the back of his head, eyes mimicking the left-to-right movement of his hand. “I’m so dead. There’s no way I’m getting out of this.”
He suddenly stood up and paced.
“Maybe we can still run? Like, jump through the window or something. I mean, he will eventually find us and hunt me down until I’m a dead man, but we could move to another state or something. Or better, move to Alaska. I know it’s cold as hell but nothing could ever top the Upside Down anyway, so if we’re equipped enough there’s a way we could survive out there. At least for a time, until Hopper has forgotten all about me. An– And then…”
The flow of blabbering stopped when Mike turned around to face Will.
“Shit. Shit, Will are you alright?”
To be entirely frank, no, he was not alright, not in the least. His vision was blurring until Mike looked like the reflection of one of those distorting mirrors. They had been found out played in a loop, spiraled into a mess of colors, forms, sounds, flashes. Soon his limbs lost all sense of spatiality. Temporality lost its meaning, replaced by memories: a slur screamed at him, louder and louder, until it broke him; a slap, a blow, at times a kick; a locked door and a dark room; a motherly and weeping voice reassuring him. Too much.
“Will! Hey Will!” The touch of a hand on his forehead. Not any hand. Mike’s hand, somehow always cool to the touch. Will held onto it.
“It’s going to be alright. Hopper is not Lonnie, ok? He’s not going to do anything that would hurt you. And even if he did – which he would not – Joyce, Jonathan and El wouldn’t let him.”
“They aren’t here right now.” The panic was receding like waves retreating after having devastated some peaceful shores.
“I wouldn’t let him.”
Despite himself, Will let out a weak chuckle behind the growing wetness – tears, sweat, a mix of both – of his face. The bedroom appeared clearer, seconds and minutes and hours resumed their mechanical pace.
“Hey, what’s so funny?”
“Not to make fun of you, Mike, but what would you do? Have you seen Hopper? Hopper with a gun?”
“Jesus, Will, he’s not going to shoot you! And how dare you laugh at my incredible looks and muscles? Have you forgotten that I’m a paladin, sworn to protect my beloved cleric?”
“No I haven’t, you keep saying this at least once a week”, Will snorted. The tears had subsided, the only trace of them being puffy red eyes and sniffles. “Besides, may I remind you that I’ve liked you since kindergarten? You looked great even then.”
The confession caused Mike to blush, a striking red stain spreading from neck to ears, and Will almost forgot what had just happened. He truly was blessed. Maybe Jim’s irruption was merely retribution, a punishment for the unfair happiness he had finally gotten a taste of.
“Worst-case scenario, I also know how to use a gun.” The statement had meant to be a joke. But the underlying message echoed grimly and made Will shiver. It was no accident that he knew how to shoot with a rifle.
“Will.” A murmur, so quiet yet so grounding. “Hopper is not Lonnie. He will love you no matter what. There is no way, absolutely zero chance that he’s going to hate you after spending years protecting you, saving you and caring for you. I can’t see that happening, not in any world.”
Will heard it all clear as day. Still he couldn’t help but think, in the smallest and furthest part of his mind, that Jim would hate him. Hate was too weak a word. Like a cruel mirror, Will’s thoughts about himself reflected on others. Along the years, he head created this picture of a scared boy, without any confidence or self-esteem, and it had kept reverberating until all he could see on other people’s face was an ugly, scarred and powerless Will. He knew it was deceitful – it had to be, right? But it was all too easy to imagine the disgust that would twist Jim’s mouth, the madness that would fill him at the idea of having a queer boy under his roof. It wasn’t too difficult to picture because Will had already seen it. Revulsion and loathing at the sight of a rainbow spaceship; yells and screams and spit after a lost match of soccer.
Will heard Mike’s reassurance but he couldn’t listen to it. Hate was easier to comprehend; hate was what he was used to. What he did listen to, however, was the sound of Mike’s voice. Full of love, yes, not that he could get used to that, but also anguish. It dawned on him that Mike was also trying to reassure himself. Will at least had had time to come to terms with his identity; for Mike, everything was new and most certainly scary.
“Is Jim the first person to– to figure out about you?”, he ended up asking in place of the comfort he wanted to bring Mike. Maybe that was selfish but he wanted to know. Mike was always so secretive about this stuff, as though speaking out loud about his worries would inflict more pain than keeping them deep inside of him. To some extent Will knew what it felt, although his boyfriend had a particular way to hide. At some point, Will tended to explode and let it all out; Mike could stay silent until the end of his days, as if bearing responsibilities too great for him was his reason to live. His friends, his family, even Hawkins, everything weighted down on him. Among all this, what place was left for Mike’s feelings? As a result, he had closed himself off and only recently – Will was pretty sure their relationship had been a turning point for both of them – had he started to crack open.
So he was almost relieved when Mike whispered a small “Yes” instead of shutting down. Will grabbed his hand and offered him a wavering smile.
“Boys! I’m waiting!”
Reluctantly, they left the safety of the bedroom, everlasting piece of heaven that looked so similar to the one in the old Byers’ house. This day was doomed to happen, they were not naive enough to think this relationship could be hidden for long. Nevertheless, Will had not prepared a single step. He guessed neither did Mike. Some part of him was glad he was with him, even if it meant a not-so-pleasant confrontation with a not-so-friendly Jim.
The kitchen, usually bright thanks to the red and yellow hues that Joyce had chosen, took on the uncanny glow of the night, dark but dimly lit by pale streets lights. It suited the atmosphere. Jim sat at the table, his face enclosed in shadows, which was probably a good reflection of his expression anyway. Only his hands were visible since they were crossed on the table in front of him. At the way Mike’s grip tightened on his wrist, they were having the same thought: it’s not looking good. The last ray of hope Will could have harbored seemed far away now, perhaps swallowed by the darkness when they had entered the room. A tap from Jim’s fingers almost caused him whiplash.
“Come here. Sit.”
No longer loud and boiling, Jim’s voice was now down not quite to a whisper, but at least to a mutter – that was maybe the best an ex-police officer could manage. An audible swallow from Mike and then they were both sitting in front of Jim. From the corner of his eyes, Will took the risk of observing him. Useless. Jim was usually an open book but Will quickly found out that today was not a day for usuals.
He also found out that they were scrutinized in return. Jim’s eyes darted from Will to Mike, then to Will again. But especially to Mike. Nothing on his face. Not even anger.
“Ok.” Despite his apparent calm, they jumped. Will decided to focus on the uncomfortable sensation of sweat pooling in his palms and Mike’s fingers still around his wrist, though Will could feel that he was trying his best to loosen them. He could have smiled at his boyfriend’s fake confidence had they not been in such a shitty situation. “First, I’d like you to confirm something”, Jim continued, looking more than ever like the police officer he used to be. “Were you doing what I think you were doing in there?”
A brief silence and then: “You’ll have to be a bit more specific.” A daring choice of words from Mike, Will thought behind the fog that was once again forming in his mind.
“Oh don’t you try to buy yourself time, Wheeler. You know damn well what I mean.” The absence of anger kept surprising Will; his tone was harsh and impatient, sure, but not meant to hurt. Yet Will kept shaking. Mike squeezed harder.
“So, were you two making out or is the alcohol that I stopped drinking months ago still giving me hallucinations?”
That was the last straw. Will didn’t know why this specific sentence sent his head spinning. Dying would have been a better option. Air could barely fill his lungs, tingles itched on his hands which he could now barely move anymore. He wondered numbly if this was what torture looked like.
It sure felt like it, so much so that he must have blacked out because the next thing he knew, the mantle of the night sky still covered them thickly but Jim was now at his side, knee on the ground and a hand on his shoulder. Panic attack, he registered.
“Hey kid, you feeling better?”
“Yeah. I think so.” The hollowness disappeared a little when he looked at his right and Mike was still there, he didn’t go home and had let go of his wrist to enclose his hand in both of his.
“You spaced out again", Mike explained slowly. “Like, for a solid five minutes. And… the lamp started flickering?” Panic settled back in Will’s guts. “Not for long though and we’re pretty sure it was just the electricity!”, Mike added hastily as he glanced at Will’s distressed face.
The room got quiet again. Will wanted to get out, wished he could take Mike’s hand and run away with him. Alaska wasn’t such a bad destination after all. God he didn’t want to face the disgust of his friends, the disappointment of his mother, the anger that would soon overtake Jim. Jonathan had made him feel so comfortable for a handful of minutes back in California, that dreadful night; Will resented that illusion of safety. He knew his anxiety was bad but he had been convinced he had begun to get rid of the self-hatred. Yet there he was, except Mike was with him from now on. It wasn’t about him alone anymore. The bubble of panic popped. Gone, replaced by a pain so great it made him angry. The lamp blinked twice.
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you talking about, you have nothing to apologize for”, Jim said with a frown.
“Yes! Yes I do!” He had yelled out of the blue. Mike leaned closer nonetheless. “I’m sorry for being who I am, is that what you wanted to hear? But I don’t want to be sorry! I’ve had enough. I spent years shutting up because my existence had brought enough problems and I felt like– I knew everything was my fault. But you know what? I want to have a say in all this. Yes, I was making out with Mike, so what? What are you going to do about it? Slap me in the face like Lonnie did sometimes or just call me names like he did more than sometimes? Tell my mom? I don’t care! I don’t! For once in my life, I don’t want to feel sorry. So screw you. Screw. You.”
A wall of silence stood between them. Jim hadn’t moved but his eyes were comically wide.
“Ok, kid.” His voice was soft. Weird. “We’re going to slow down, take a deep breath and start from the beginning.”
In spite of himself, he nodded. At his side, Mike’s shoulder bumped into his.
“The one who’s sorry is me, Will. I’m working on it, you know, but I shouldn’t have reacted like that and given you a false idea of what I was thinking or what I intended to do.”
“What?”
“I’m not mad at you.” Jim tried a smile but ended up wincing. “I’m really bad with words, Jesus. I just– I wanted to give you the talk.”
A beat. “You can’t be serious”, Mike deadpanned.
It got him a glare from Jim. “You shut up for now.” He mumbled something about his bad knee and the weather, readjusted his stance and cleared his throat. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to say it like that. Just– let me finish, yeah? So, from what I gathered, you two are what, boyfriends? I don’t care, kid. I don’t care. Truth is I’m happy for you. I’m sure anyone would be. I mean anyone you know and love. It’s not going to change a fucking thing, especially not for me. You’re a great kid, Will, and not a soul has ever thought that what happened these past few years was your fault. I know I’m not your mother or your father– speaking of your father, you gotta give me Lonnie’s address one of these days. I’m going to– “ He inhaled. “That’s not the point. What I meant to say is that I’m proud of you, kid. Nothing is gonna change that. And I’m sorry for scaring you.”
Almost reduced to a stunned silence, Will managed to breathe an “Ok?” Truth be told, he hadn’t quite decided what to say. His fading anger had not been directed at Jim. The world had felt too much for a minute and he had lashed out, more than he did at Mike on a rainy evening, years ago. “I guess”, he tried hesitantly, “I’m just fed up and I was terrified that you would react like my father. Just a hard day, you know?”
“Yeah. I’ve known my fair share of hard days”, Hopper smiled, genuine.
The relief that washed over Will took some time to arrive as Jim’s speech hit him. He didn’t care. Until this very moment, Jim’s validation had never seemed important. He was his stepdad, yes, and even a far better dad than Lonnie. However he kept a lot to himself and rarely displayed his feelings – not so different from Mike, really. While El had no problem to confide in him, Will and Jonathan found it hard to get used to this new presence in the Byers – or Byers-Hopper – household. Today really was going to change things, uh.
“Can you guarantee that you’re feeling fine?”
“I’m better.”
“Next time, I want you to warn me if you feel that it’s becoming too much. Can you do that?” When Will shook his head, the atmosphere shifted once again. “Now that it’s settled. Let’s have a little talk, shall we?”
Mike had been weirdly still for some time. Will had a feeling he knew what was coming; during one of the many nights El and Will would stay awake to chat endlessly and share their fears under a blanket, his sister had told him all about her relationship with Mike. The infamous episode of Hopper’s talk with Mike had made Will laugh so loudly that Hopper and Joyce had burst into the room in a frenzy.
“Michael Wheeler, what’s it with you and dating my children?”
My children. While Will should have been worried for Mike’s safety – he was not – the words enveloped him in a strange warmth. ‘Kid’, ‘kiddo’, he was used to those, but ‘my children’? It was a good kind of new.
“I-I can explain!” Next to him, Mike was fighting for dear life. “Will and I, it’s– it hasn’t been long and I swear that we haven’t done anything, I– I mean nothing more than kissing! We–“
“Jesus, calm down, am I really that terrifying? Like I said, I don’t care. I might no like you, Wheeler, but if you’re the one who can make Will happy, then so be it. And I’ve learned since last time. However, we’re gonna have to establish some rules once again. Have I made myself clear?”
Will and Mike exchanged a sheepish look. “Yes, sir.”
“Great. Now, for rule number one…”
----------------------------------
“Are you alright?”
A poof echoed as Mike slumped on the bed. “I think. I’m glad it went well. Or as well as it could have gone.” He sat up to grab and pull Will, who complied without resistance, all too glad to be back in their safe zone and in Mike’s arms. No doubt that Jim was no threat but only Mike was able to calm his still harsh breathing. “And you? Better?”
“That’s at least the fifth time that someone has asked me this in the last hour.”
“I mean, you did almost faint in the kitchen after we were discovered by Hopper. It’s kind of a big deal.”
“That’s why I’m asking you how you feel. Nobody knew about you before Jim.”
“Nobody knew for you either.”
“Jesus, Mike, why are you so dense sometimes?”
“Oh wow, insulting my good looks and now my brains? You’re becoming rude, young man.”
“Will you shut up already?”
“Then why don’t you make me?”
A roll of the eyes and Will was already on Mike, resuming the kiss his stepdad had interrupted. It lasted long enough that his worries went out the open window, which provided barely any fresh air to cool down the growing heat of the bedroom. While summer nights often resulted in stuffy temperatures, the tenderness of lips on skin, the tangling of arms, legs, fingers and the soft pressure of Mike’s teeth on Will’s collar bone must have added some degrees.
However Mike stopped suddenly. Will used this respite to regain his breathing, no longer hoarse from panic alone. Mike did the same and spoke: “It feels kinda weird with Hopper being in the house with us and knowing about what we’re doing.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“No, no! Of course not!”
“Mike, we’re really gonna have to talk about you one day or another.”
“Ok, I promise that we will.” Freckled hands reached up to cup his face while thumbs traced a path to his cheekbones. So soft and kind, Mike was all those things and much more. Obstinate and stubborn. Uncaring about his own problems and too attentive with others’. Loving him was easy, it had always been. What proved to be more difficult was forcing him to open up about his feelings. Ever since they started dating, they hadn’t discussed about what their relationship would entail. Mostly they didn’t care despite the underlying fear that would sometimes surface. Screw the people who would judge them. Besides, their friends and family wouldn’t – or so they hoped. Jim hadn’t. But Will often pondered about Mike and the childhood he had spent lying, the inadequacy he had repressed to the point where it had changed his behavior for a time. Will was well acquainted with this sort of self-hatred, deeply engrained in oneself; he knew it didn’t and couldn’t go away like that. So he had no choice but to be patient, just like Mike had always been and although it pained him to see him hurt.
“Is this a real promise?”
“Hum, I promise only if we talk about what happened back there.”
Nice way to dodge the matter at hand.
“Jim’s lecture?”
“No, not that. The lights.”
“The lights?”
“And I’m the dense one, sir Will the Wise?” Despite the playful wiggle of his eyebrows, worry still haunted Mike’s eyes. “The lights were flickering. That must have had some significance.”
“Didn’t you say that was the electricity?”
“I didn’t want to freak you out. I think Hopper had similar concerns – not that he would actually voice them. We’ve seen this too much to believe that was only a technical problem.”
Will blinked twice. “Ok, so what’s your theory? I’m not sure I understand. We know for a fact that the Upside Down is spreading in Hawkins. What’s so surprising about a lamp malfunctioning?”
A sigh. “Yeah but– You know what, you’re right. Forget it. We’ve already had a lot to deal with today. I guess I was just scared that Vecna or the Mind Flayer had decided to come back out of the blue.”
“Mike…”
“I’m scared that they will take you away again”, Mike admitted. “They are coming back, you told me yourself. And since you have this link with the Upside Down…”
“Mike, stop. You said it yourself, we’ve had enough to deal with today.” Will kissed him lightly on the forehead, where that brain of his was overthinking. “Remember that I need you and I always will. But that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself. Besides, I told you that you’ll be the first to learn about the slightest headache I have. Trust me a little.” He smiled because of course Mike trusted him but that was the best Will could do to calm his nerves.
“Ok, right, you’re right.” A moment passed, enough time for Mike and Will to breathe together, lids closed, simple as that. No touches, no words. Their existence was enough to stand the weight of the world. Finally, Mike looked at Will, smiled and said: “You think Hopper is truly gonna kill me if I stay with you tonight?”
Will gave him back a smile of his own. “Nah, he likes you too much. He’s a big softy at heart. There wasn’t even a rule about opening the door a few inches.” They laughed and it felt good to be back to a normal night. “Now will you stop talking about him? You’re ruining the mood.”
And before Mike could open his mouth, Will shut him up with a kiss.