Chapter Text
“Eric isn’t an asshole.”
Nobody in the entirety of South Park Elementary would ever expect someone to say those words. Despite that, here stood Heidi Turner, defending her boyfriend once more. The other girls at the table shot each other looks. Some were looks of confusion or sorrow; whereas others mocked Heidi with poorly disguised smirks. Heidi kept her eyes locked on her hands as she picked at her nails. She couldn’t help but feel the stares and the embarrassment began to cover her face like a blanket. She wasn’t in the mood. Not today. Maybe in another life, today was a normal day, the other girls would mock her for her choice in men and she would brush it off. While the constant criticism chipped away at her self esteem, it was manageable. Now, the pressure might simply cause it to fracture entirely.
Heidi continued picking at her nails and skin in an attempt to keep the relentless trembling under control. The others girls hadn’t noticed yet, she silently begged they wouldn’t notice. She didn’t want to talk about it, she didn't want their fucking criticism.
Nobody knew Cartman like Heidi did. If they did, maybe she would be able to walk down the hall without the topic of her boyfriend being brought up. Everyone was so convinced Heidi was in danger, but she disagreed. If she was in danger, she’d leave. How stupid do they think I am? Heidi thought to herself as the bell rang, signifying the end of lunch. All the girls collected their things and walked to their respective classes. Heidi stopped at her locker for a moment to grab some books, struggling to work the lock. Her anxiety was at an all-time high and there was nobody she could talk to who wouldn't ask her the same question.
“Why don’t you just dump him?”
Every time. It felt like everyone in the school was against her. Deep down she knew that some people were really just worried about her, but she knew that generally wasn't the case. They were tired of her. She hadn’t said a word, really, but the slight changes in her personality really seemed to be doing her in. Wendy had pulled her aside one day to ask her why she’d been so fidgety lately. Heidi wasn’t exactly happy with Wendy at the moment. Of all the people judging her, Wendy was the least qualified. How come everyone else just seemingly forgot that she kissed Cartman at a political debate? Maybe it pissed Heidi off a little bit, but it was justified.
Heidi hadn’t failed to notice changes in herself as well. She noticed the growing distance between her and her friends. She noticed how every notification made her heart sink a little bit deeper.
It wasn’t because she didn't like talking with Cartman - she cared about him like nobody else - but a gut-wrenching fear set in every time she missed one of his late-night calls. A threat; not to her, but to himself. Cartman took the liberty of informing Heidi that she was the one pulling the strings, his life was in her hands. Whether it was true or not didn’t particularly matter, Heidi believed it to be the reality she had caught herself in, and that was damaging enough.
She closed the locker to reveal Kyle, flinching in surprise. Heidi wasn't sure how long he’d been standing there, but she certainly had not noticed until now,
“Hey, Heidi,” Kyle began, he fidgeted with his hands, “Uh, hey, are you okay? You’ve been acting… different. I know that probably sounds weird- ‘cause I don’t really know you that well-” Heidi furrowed her brow at his rambling. This wasn’t going anywhere, and if it was, it would just lead to him shit talking Cartman. Kyle was one of the last people she wanted to confide in, he hates Cartman, and there was no doubt in Heidi’s mind that he would jump at the chance to criticise him.
“Anyway, just wanted to say that if you need to talk or anything-”
“I’m fine, thanks.” Heidi cut him off. A short burst of guilt flooded her brain, “Sorry- I’m just not in the mood right now.”
Kyle opened his mouth as if he was about to counter, but decided against it and simply nodded in response. “That’s cool, just checking on you.” Kyle stood awkwardly for a moment before turning and heading to class. Heidi sighed and leaned up against her locker. She thought about Kyle’s concern for her. He’d certainly taken a different approach from the girls, who typically opened the conversation with a negative remark about Cartman or her decision making skills. He seemed like he genuinely cared. He’s probably just looking for another reason to rip on Eric. He’s just being like everyone else. The bell rang again,
“Oh, God damnit-” Now officially late, Heidi rushed to class, she really didn’t need any more pressure on her today.