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“What brings you gentlemen in today?” Karl teases from behind the flowery counter, decorated from head to toe in fake petals and leaves. It’s a very colorful place, considering it’s quite a diverse flower shop. Dream trails in behind Sapnap, ears perking up at the familiar jingle of the bell attached to the door. The door is held open for him kindly by the brunet.
Sapnap smiles gently, eyeing the bright sections of the flowers with a half-peeled orange in his hand. “Nothing, just stopping by.”
Karl frowns jokingly, emerging from the counter to greet the two of them. “What, you’re not going to buy any flowers for your boyfriend Dreamy?”
“Boyfriend? Shut up, Karl,” he laughs playfully, flicking his hand as if the word means nothing to him. Karl leads him to the edge of the store where Sapnap touches a rose gently, fanning out its petals, a simple gesture that makes Dream’s heart clench.
Dream stays quiet, moving over to the other side of the shop as they mumble about random, unimportant things. He surveys the area and touches each damp petal with such a kindness that it could make them grow an inch taller if he were in some fantasy story somewhere. In an alternate universe where people have abnormal abilities, he likes to think that he could grow flowers from his fingertips.
Being seventeen and still living with his parents, he does not have the budget for an entire assortment of flowers in his room, although he wishes he did every day. He collects dried flowers from every bouquet he receives and pins them to his wall, but he longs for a pop of color here and there. This store is his happy place, constructed of his greatest fantasies from floor to ceiling. He’s not in here too often however, because of his busy schedule, but he loves to come whenever time allows. Sapnap offered to drive him today because it’s been a while since he’s seen Karl.
Soon, the pleasant smell of citrus starts to float over to Dream’s side of the small shop, a telltale sign that Sapnap has finished opening his orange and is likely sharing it with Karl. For no specific reason, Sapnap has loved oranges ever since he was a little kid. It’s like his favorite food, his go-to snack, and his comfort fruit all in one. Dream doesn’t mind, of course. He’s a special fan of oranges right along with his best friend.
Best friend, Dream thinks sadly as he thumbs over a yellow marigold, feeling its small petals and relishing in the scent that floats up to meet his nose. He supposes he’s content with that title, or whatever.
“Dream, c’mere,” Karl calls him over, waving his hand in their direction.
Dream wordlessly obeys and shuffles on over, the overhead fan blowing his hair around messily. He stands next to Sapnap and Karl points to a flower from the other side of him.
“Look at these yellow roses we just got in today,” Karl says, excitement visible on his face. “Aren’t they pretty?”
Dream’s lips part and his eyes widen. Pretty is an understatement; they’re the most gorgeous flowers he’s ever seen, from their bright yellow complexion to their stark, smooth green leaves. In a single second, he becomes obsessed with the sight of them.
“Dream?” Sapnap laughs lightheartedly, seeing his clear state of shock. “Do you like them?”
“I…” Dream is quite literally speechless. It seems as though he’s being dramatic, but with the combination of his passion for colorful plants and the beauty of these specific one, it’s just his natural reaction. “They’re perfect.”
Karl smiles widely. “Sapnap said you’d like them.” Dream tries not to think about that too much. “Anyway, I would give you some for free but my manager said I’ve really gotta stop giving you guys so many freebies. And since these are kind of expensive… you know.”
“It’s okay,” Dream says quietly, still in awe. “I’ll save up. They’re the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen…” Dream reaches out to touch the soft petals and smiles at the texture. “Are you guys going to get regular shipments for them or are they limited time only?”
“They’re definitely here to stay, at least for a while. Usually we keep a certain type of flower for about a month, so… they’ll probably be gone after graduation.”
Sapnap bites his lip and asks, “How much are they?”
Dream doesn’t hear what the answer is; his thoughts are much too loud.
Dream remembers picking flowers with Sapnap when they were younger, barely grazing middle school. Sometimes, Sapnap would play fake football with the other kids, his other friends, but most days, they would sit in the field and pick little white flowers so that Dream could make crowns and rings and bracelets out of them.
Later on in life, he realized Sapnap probably did not care about flowers or jewelry, but he still stayed and helped Deram collect stock.
When the other kids made fun of Sapnap for hanging around Dream, he ignored them and went on playing football. He was probably the most talented at the sport out of the group anyway. Dream admired his skill from afar, however, because he was not as athletic. But that was okay, because Sapnap still made time for him. He always did.
“Graduation’s kind of coming up,” Sapnap says absentmindedly over lunch on a Saturday, a bright and sunny one that peeks loudly through the open windows of the establishment.
“I guess so. Only a few weeks,” Dream says, chewing on a bite of his burger. It’s the same one he’s been getting since he was little. Sapnap’s order hasn’t changed, either. “I’m trying not to think about it too much.”
Sapnap sighs and puts his hands in his lap, looking blankly at the food on his plate with sad eyes. Same old, same old.
“Does it ever feel like— like nothing has changed?” He glances up and down.
Dream almost chokes, but swallows as if nothing happened. Sapnap doesn’t seem to notice. “What do you mean?”
Dream does not feel like that, if Sapnap is implying that their lives are the objects that haven’t changed.
“Like… I don’t know.” Sapnap exhales, playing with that hem of his sweatshirt sleeve. “It just feels like everything’s the same. Like, we’ve gone to this high school for four years and it’s all just… over. And nothing crazy happened.”
Something crazy did happen.
He doesn’t say that.
“What do you mean by crazy? Do you want to kill someone or… or have a tornado hit your house or something?”
This cracks a small smile out of Sapnap. “No, dumbass. I just want… something to change before we go. That’s all.”
Dream swallows his thoughts and speaks safer words. “Maybe you just feel like that because graduation is close. We— you did plenty of cool things. Like— you were captain of the football team! You passed all of your AP classes and— and you have a lot of friends and cool memories.”
“I guess so.”
Dream sets his burger down. “Maybe I’m just a sucker for the little things, but… I’d rather have a ton of random memories of fun times than one big bang or whatever. Like, sure, I’d remember insane events more, but… I don’t know.”
Sapnap sits with that thought for a minute. He takes a sip of his Sprite and huffs a breath. “Maybe you’re right. Remember when we went orange picking for my birthday after hours?”
“You mean when I made you come with me to steal oranges from the—“
“Shut up, don’t be exposing us like that.” He takes another sip, looking thoughtful. “Damn. That was a shitty birthday. I think that was the only good thing that happened to me that day.” He sips again. “Yet it was, like, the most fun I’ve ever had on a birthday.”
“Well, that’s why we went; you were having a terrible birthday and no one should be sad on their birthday. And you know I’m not one to regularly do… shit like that.”
“I know you’re not, you’re a goody two-shoes,” Sapnap teases, but then his face falls sincere. “It was really nice of you…” He says it quietly like he doesn’t want Dream to hear it, even though he does.
Dream just smiles in return. Little does Sapnap know, he would do anything for him to be happy. Or maybe he does know and Dream isn’t aware.
But probably not. How could Sapnap possibly comprehend that he would steal the entire plot even if it only had a single orange in it?
He remembers that night all too well, actually. It was Sapnap’s thirteenth birthday, and it was shitty. His mom did nothing except buy him a cheap cake from the local store— she never even said the words “happy birthday” out loud. His dad was out of town for a dumb reason and his little sisters went with him, so he was virtually alone for the whole day. There was no school, so there was no way for him to see his friends… so on and so forth. The day essentially felt like hell by the end of it for all of the little things that had piled up on his best friend’s shoulders.
When he called Dream, he picked up immediately. Sapnap wasn’t crying— Dream would know, as he’s one of the only ones Sapnap cries in front of— but he sounded close to it. Dream had done everything right thus far, so he decided to take it a step farther.
“Let’s go get some oranges.”
“What?” Sapnap sniffled.
“We can run to the place that grows the trees in the back. You know. Their fence isn’t that hard to jump, and—“
“Woah. Are you being serious?”
“Yes. You said you ran out, right?”
“Well, yeah, but I don’t know if stealing—“
“I’m getting you oranges whether you want me to or not.” A pause. “Are you coming with?”
He heard Sapnap sigh. “Fine. But if we get in trouble—“
“You know I’ll take the blame.”
They never did get caught. They ate oranges together in the park in the pitch black night, sitting just a little too close. Their hands were sticky with citrus and every bite resulted in spraying orange juice everywhere. That night, after they had eaten all of the oranges, Sapnap leaned a little more into Dream and said:
“This has been, like, my favorite birthday ever.”
Over the next school week, preparations for tests and projects pile up and overwhelm every single person to step foot in the building. Everyone seems stressed, upset, or even just sad that the school year is coming to an end, and that thisis how they are spending it. Anxious, tired, and sad.
That could only briefly sum up how Dream is feeling. A million other emotions crowd his brain at the same time, all conflicting thoughts. He tries to get it off of his mind one way or another; doing chores, doing work, watching TV, but the only thing that can really make his mind clear enough to calm down is Sapnap’s presence, and of course he’s been busy as well. But he still comes over when he can, providing extremely comforting company while Dream tries not to stress over school.
“It’ll be over soon, you know?”
Dream nods in halfhearted agreement, sitting next to Sapnap on his bed. The mattress only pokes up a few inches between them.
“Maybe that’s the scary part, too,” Dream admits out loud, angling his head downward towards Sapnap’s lap. His eyes land on Sapnap’s hands, playing with his rings.
“That it’s ending?”
“Yeah, I mean…” Dream bites his lip, and tries not to break down. “You’re right. It’ll all be over soon. No more… we won’t really be kids anymore, after this. I still want to be a kid.”
He yearns for a hug, for a kiss on the forehead and a hand rubbing his back. But he stays quiet.
He wants to stay with his kid self, the same body that fell in love with Sapnap so hard that it’s impossible to peacefully exist with. If they leave high school and everything changes like Sapnap wants, what’s to be left of Dream?
“You can still do kid things and be over eighteen, you know. If anything, I think people get more childish as they grow up. Take your mom, for example, who is however old she is and started to collect rocks and name them. I mean, come on.”
He laughs a little in return, but his words don’t hit the spot. Sapnap doesn’t need to know that Dream was referring to him when he said it’ll be over soon.
“You’re right.”
He’s not. Not at all.
Dream doesn’t remember this one.
Well, he does, but not that clearly. Of course, a person can never lose their memories, it’s just the thought of them that slips away. He doesn’t recall this series of mental events anymore, although he used to quite frequently when his mind wandered.
Only in these last few years leading up to their upper class role has Dream started to notice the things that started to become… different about Sapnap.
First of all, he started to shower more often. This may seem insignificant at first glance, but it was the second that he started smelling like flowers that Dream started to pay attention. Specifically roses, he remembers Sapnap telling him. He was surprised it wasn’t some sort of citrusy sent, but he hasn’t changed his body wash since he started buying that brand.
Sapnap also started to dress better during their freshman year. He started to wear clothes that… complimented him more. They accentuated his arms and his thighs and he started to wear hats and shorts more often. Dream pointed it out once and Sapnap smiled, very pleased that Dream accepted the shift.
He started to take better care of his appearance in general, which was weird, because ten year old Sapnap never showered and just threw on clothes and never wore deodorant or used rosy soap or brushed his hair or his teeth or chewed minty gum or—
It made Dream crazy when it first started, to say the least. But then it smoothed itself into the rest of life; that was just something every guy did when they got older, so it wasn’t a big deal.
Then he started going to the gym. And playing video games (and being good at them.)
It was a lot.
And then he started doing well on his tests and winking at Dream in the hallway and poking him in his side and teaching Dream how to play football and getting him hooked on every professional team, and then he started to wear rings and read about how to take care of flowers and it never actually hit him like a truck.
It was more like he was in the truck, slowly moving along a highway stuck in traffic while the sun glared down from the sky. It was so much more specific than a regular realization; it was steady, painful, and growing. That was something unique to it: it never stopped growing.
There’s a reason why he doesn’t bring it up in his head anymore. There’s much bigger things to worry about, like the end of his high school career, like the future, like the forever-mutating virus that he’s infected with that’s more commonly called Being in Love with Sapnap.
Because he is so deeply in love with Sapnap.
And he can’t escape it, no matter how hard he tries to, because it is so obviously clear that Sapnap does not want him the same way. He lives with it, like he lives with the other pains in his life.
“Less than a week until grad,” Sapnap says into the air as they’re laying together on his bedroom floor. Their homework is pushed aside, their study guides crinkling under their feet.
“Yep,” Dream says, and tries not to sound as depressed as he feels.
Sapnap looks over at him from where he lays, and Dream does, too. It’s terrifying, the way their eyes meet.
“Are you scared?”
Dream rolls his eyes, as if not, and looks away. He pauses for dramatic effect before adding, “…Obviously.”
Sapnap laughs nervously. “Me too.”
“What about?” Dream plays with the carpet that lays beneath his hands.
“Um… everything.”
Dream sighs heavily. “Me too.”
Dream has nothing else to reminisce on. His mind is only on the future, constantly thinking ahead every second as the hours clock by and he gets just that much closer to his graduation.
And Sapnap has no idea he’s in love with him.
The next night, they hang out again. This time, they leave their homework at home and drive to the beach. They don’t bring their swimsuits, or a towel, or sunscreen, or anything. Just themselves, and maybe a couple of oranges in Sapnap’s pockets. It was an impulse decision that neither of them regret.
“It’s getting so close,” Sapnap says, like he almost doesn’t believe it, and it feels like all anyone talks about anymore is graduation. Dream can’t escape it, and he feels so trapped he could cry.
“I know.” He doesn’t mean to sound so angry, but his eyebrows are pinched and his lips are downturned just a little.
Sapnap doesn’t respond. They sit very close together; their arms touching and their thighs just about. They keep their knees up and look out to the water, warm sand grazing their legs and their eyes laying on the soft sunset.
“I don’t wanna talk about graduation,” Dream complains, and he sounds like a baby that’s about to throw a fit, but he doesn’t care. “I can’t… I can’t get away from it. It’s all I hear anymore. I just want to be in the moment, just for once. I can’t escape the future, so why… why bother worrying about it right now?”
Sapnap buries his fingers in the sand rapidly. “I get what you mean.” He uses his other hand to pull out an orange from his pocket and offer it to Dream. “Orange?”
Dream takes one long look at it and lets himself fall backwards into the sand defeatedly, his hair hitting the soft grains with a gentle thud. A little gets on his face, but he doesn’t move to take it off.
Sapnap frowns a little, and starts peeling the orange for himself. They are no longer touching.
“I feel like I’m going crazy, Sapnap.”
Sapnap lays the orange peel pieces on the ground in between them as he goes. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” Dream huffs, a lie. “I want everything to stop.”
“Everything?”
Dream bites his lip and thinks for a moment.
School, life, this big black weight in his chest that makes his heart sink lower and lower and lower.
“Yes.”
Sapnap frowns completely.
“Really?”
Sapnap’s looking at him with a peeled orange in his hand and it looks like there’s stars in his eyes, hoping Dream will say no this time. When their eyes meet it sends a familiar shiver through him, despite the warm Florida temperatures.
“I guess not.”
Sapnap automatically hands him half the orange and then lays down next to him. They eat the orange within inches of each other, just another intimate moment that will never mean anything more than a platonic scenario.
“I’m going to get you a grad gift.”
Dream chews on his orange slices. “Why?”
Sapnap hums and swallows. “Because I want to.”
“What is it?” He downs another slice.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“It’s a surprise,” he says, and before Dream can speak again, Sapnap shoves one of his own orange pieces into Dream’s mouth.
Two days go by, and he wants to block the word graduation out of his mind completely. Most of his tests are done, most of his projects have been presented, but Sapnap still doesn’t love him back.
As he lays in bed one night, alone in the darkness with his thoughts, he thinks about Sapnap. He doesn’t let one thought cross his mind that has the word ‘graduation’ in it.
There’s only a few days left of high school. This is all he will let himself think about when it comes to that topic.
Sapnap might never know that Dream has been in love with him for years, and maybe Dream needs to start coming to terms with that now. Tears start to burn in the back of his nose, and he stops thinking about that immediately. He shouldn’t be crying over his best friend. That’s dumb. Dream is dumb. Everything is dumb.
Sapnap keeps talking about getting Dream a [censored] gift. He can’t stop thinking about it. What will it be? Will it have a love letter attached to the top, reading ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner…’ in the first line? Could it be matching woven bracelets with secret code that displays a discrete message of affection? What if it was an orange, perfectly round and absolutely vibrant with a silly little message about being friends for years? What then?
What happens when Sapnap buys him a gift that is meant to sum up their entire childhood in one object, given at the end of their high school years to symbolize how far they’ve come?
And what if it’s platonic? What is Dream to do then?
The stress that dances on his shoulders is unceasing. Dream wishes he could shrug it off, but at the top of the pile there’s a longing for Sapnap that he just can’t shake, no matter how hard he tries. And, of course, he has tried time and time again. He wishes that he didn’t have to ache for Sapnap’s hands, chests, arms every time he thought of the boy, but he does. Maybe they’ll hug after they throw their caps in the air, but it won’t be the way he wants. Maybe in college they’ll drink with their friends and joke about kissing each other but they never actually will.
It might kill him.
Dream checks his phone from where it lays on the nightstand beside his bed. There’s texts from Sapnap, but he shuts his phone all the way off tiredly and goes to bed.
Tomorrow is the day before graduation.
There’s more typical texts from Sapnap in the morning, but he clears them from his notification center and pockets his phone like they’re not there.
It’s weird, avoiding Sapnap. Where he’d usually be perking up just at the sound of his phone buzzing with a hope that it’s from the brunet, he’s now ignoring every vibration that makes it through his pants pocket. Maybe he’s just exhausted.
It’s a half day for seniors, since there’s nothing to do besides show up for attendance at this point. Sapnap is in a few of his classes, but Dream strategically shows up late and when Sapnap tries to talk to him, he responds dryly and goes to his seat right before the bell rings.
Sapnap does not give up.
At the end of the school day, Dream tries to get out as fast as he can, but Sapnap catches up to him, running with his backpack and all. It would be a funny sight if Dream wasn’t so stuck in his own head. He tries to take off his backpack, buckle up, and put the car in reverse in a few quick motions, but Sapnap is quicker. Curse the football conditioning.
“Dream,” he pants, but it’s muffled through the car window, banging his fist against the glass desperately. “Please talk to me.”
Dream rolls the window down reluctantly. He supposes he can’t hide anymore.
“Thank god,” Sapnap exhales out of relief, curling his hands over the door so that the window can’t roll up again. “Are you okay? What’s going on? Did something happen? Did… did I do something?”
It’s right then and there when he hears the anxiousness in Sapnap’s voice that he regrets it all. All of it. Not just today.
“No, no…” Dream promises weakly, “I…” He rubs his eyes. “Can I drive you home?”
“My car is here.”
Dream just looks at him sadly, and it only takes a couple of seconds before Sapnap makes his way around the car and gets in the passenger seat wordlessly. They don’t talk on the way home, and Sapnap plays with his sleeves the entire time.
It starts to rain halfway through the drive.
They pass Dream’s mom and pretend like everything’s fine while they take off their damp shoes, and then they head straight up the stairs to Dream’s room. They go into the dark space and Dream closes the door behind Sapnap, and it doesn’t take long before it all comes crumbling down.
“Dude, okay. You need to talk to me,” Sapnap pleads, and they’re standing in the middle of Dream’s bedroom, their socked feet patting against carpeted floors that are stained with childhood memories of them while rain taps against his window from the outside. It’s surreal. “I don’t know if… I don’t know anything, at all, actually. Can you tell me what happened?”
“I’m sorry—“ Dream starts, but he has to cut himself off because he can already feel his voice breaking.
“Hey, hey,” Sapnap coaxes gently, taking careful steps toward him as if he’s about to collapse any second. It’s just what Dream needs and he hates that Sapnap knows him so well. “It’s okay. Do you want to sit?”
Dream nods, and he sinks to his knees and Sapnap sits in front of him.
“Just take it slow.”
Dream nods again, his face shriveled and his eyes squeezed shut. “I’m so sorry, Sapnap…”
Sapnap places a tender hand on his arm and it’s almost too much, but he continues to loosely hold his composure. “I’m not mad at you, I promise. I just want to know what’s going on…”
“I didn’t mean to worry you, or make you anxious, at all. You didn’t do anything wrong or anything, I just can’t…” go on like this, sit here waiting for you to love me back, do any of this anymore. There are so many things he could say, but he keeps his tongue tied.
Sapnap retracts his hand and sits back on his feet, gazing down sadly. He looks around the room a little bit, tapping his fingers. Dream can tell that he’s thinking; he’d do anything to crawl in there and read his thoughts, but alas, the love is still unrequited.
“Dream…” Sapnap tries slowly, “would you like your gift now?”
Dream bites his lip, swallowing the urge to cry. He doesn’t really know if he actually does, but he supposes opening the gift is better than vomiting out confessions that he isn’t ready to say.
“Sure.”
Sapnap crawls over to his backpack, unzipping the big pocket and pulls out a white tissue paper-wrapped package tied with a brown string with so much care that anyone would think it’s a mine that could explode any minute. He pulls it in front of his chest so that Dream can’t see it from behind him, and then pulls something else out of his backpack. He can hear him slide it against the tissue paper with the way it crinkles.
Sapnap looks over his shoulder without exposing the gift and whispers, “Close your eyes.”
Dream does as he’s told.
He hears shuffling towards him, a little crinkling, and then silence.
“You can open your eyes.”
Dream opens them as quick as he can and looks down to find Sapnap holding a package in his lap. Immediately, he freezes; but it’s not because of the package.
One of the yellow roses from Karl’s shop is tucked into the package underneath the string, cut on the stem but very much still alive and well.
“Sapnap…” Dream breathes out in complete aw, something indescribable building up inside of his gut.
Sapnap chuckles anxiously. “It’s… it’s not much, but it’s—“
“No.” Dream talks absentmindedly, fixated completely on the rose. “I can’t believe…”
Sapnap hums in confusion. “You haven’t even opened the gift yet.”
“I don’t want the gift, Sapnap.”
“What?”
“I want you.”
Dream watches with terrified eyes and breathless lungs as Sapnap’s shoulders drop and his eyebrows raise. A justified reaction, although scary as fuck.
“You do?”
Dream nods sincerely, trying to keep his composure. “I… I just can’t keep it a secret anymore. I’ve loved you for years and it just…” Dream rubs his eyes as if they’re etch-a-sketch dials, as if the world will disappear before him once he opens his eyes. “It just keeps getting worse. I can’t make it stop.”
“Dream…”
He freezes like a deer in headlights at the mere pronunciation of his name. He watches carefully as Sapnap constructs what he’s going to say next, bracing for impact at the same time.
“Do you want to know what’s in the gift?”
“I’d actually rather know if you love me or—“
“I-it’s a gift card,” he rambles, speeding up as he goes, “to the flower shop where Karl works. So you can buy flowers when you want to, instead of having to just look at them all the time. And- and I put some plant food in there, too, so that you can keep them alive in your new dorm if you decide to—“
Dream leans forward on his knees and takes Sapnap’s face in his hands, pulling Sapnap to his lips and listening to the gift fall and land on the carpet next to them. He kisses him in a way that can only mean that they’ve been in love for years. Sapnap kisses him right back and it’s magic on their lips, a tingling feeling of finally settling over them.
Sapnap tastes like oranges, of course, but he also smells of the yellow rose from the package. It’s overwhelmingly sweet and a single taste just won’t do.
They keep coming back for more, and more, and more, hands never leaving each other and only moving further. When Dream teases the hem of Sapnap’s shirt, he doesn’t decline, but he still makes sure.
“Can I touch your chest?” Dream asks in a whisper against his lips.
“Yes,” Sapnap exhales back, and he sounds almost choked up.
Dream slowly trails his hand up Sapnap’s abdomen as they kiss again, only barely grazing his fingertips against the warm skin there. Sapnap shakes a little because he’s ticklish, but once his fingers reach above his belly button, he relaxes completely. Dream presses his palm flat in the middle of his torso, feeling the scorching energy transfer through them. It’s perfectly intimate for the moment and they both relish in its heat.
They pull back to breathe for a moment, panting in each other’s mouths without caring.
“You didn’t let me finish,” Sapnap speaks first.
Dream makes a face of confusion and Sapnap breaks into a silly smile.
“Idiot. I mean there’s more in the package. I put some seeds in there so you can grow your own, too.”
Dream laughs happily in disbelief. How can this be happening to him? “Seriously? How am I meant to top that?”
Sapnap shakes his head and smiles. He gently pushes Dream’s hand off of his chest and brings him in for a hug, a tight and secure one that applies pressure in just the right places.
It’s the hug he’s been yearning for years.
Sapnap rubs his hand up and down Dream’s back reassuringly like he’s always hoped he would as well as patting it every so often.
When Sapnap leans his chin on Dream’s shoulder, his lips grazing against his neck, he whispers in his ear:
“You already did.”