Work Text:
Edwina idly wondered if enjoying watching the viscount squirm made her a bad person. Quite simply put, after feeling herself go into freefall the night of the failed dinner, she was surprisingly in a rather good mood. After hearing the truth of her sister’s feelings – after spending an entire night giggling with each other until they fell asleep in the same bed like they had done countless times when they were little girls – she felt like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Deciding in light of her good mood to allow the viscount some undeserved grace, she delicately folded her hands as she again focused on him floundering with his words. She guessed he was trying to find the right words to delicately inform her that this was the end their engagement. As she listened to him struggle, she decided that her mood was not so generous as to say she did not still want to have her fun… What was it he had said to Kate?
“My lord, you are gentleman. Your father raised you to act with honor,” Edwina said. She smiled sweetly when he froze. She could feel her mother’s confusion at her calmness, likely expecting her to be a mess of nerves, dreading the end to their engagement. “It is why you are finding it so difficult to tell me that this is the end. Please, do not worry about me. Should we have chosen to still pursue a marriage, it is true that we would’ve been the match of the season. A viscount and a diamond. Admired by many… and never truly happy.”
Lord Bridgerton relaxed more the longer that she spoke. He was just as confused as Kate had been, but he was also far less tense than he had been when he’d first walked into the drawing room. His obvious relief at her easy acceptance would’ve hurt her pride just the night before... until she remembered that she was doing this for her sister. There was no nobler reason to move on from this mess of an engagement than Kate’s happiness.
Determined to stay on this new road of selflessness, she continued, “We understand each other, but we do not love each other. And that is what I want, my lord. A love match. I will settle for nothing less.”
“As you shouldn’t,” Lord Bridgerton said with a sharp nod. “I know it probably doesn’t mean much. I only wanted to– I am sorry, my lady. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You hurt my pride, nothing more.” Once more, Edwina felt the surprise from their chaperone. She stayed focused on the man that was almost her husband, praying for some sign that he would see the sense of her words. “I do not know you, my lord, not truly. I do not know what you want in a wife – I was not there when Kate overheard you speak to those gentlemen about your infamous list – but I know what you need. I know who you need. And so do you.”
The viscount was suddenly an owl, blinking at her silently. Red tinted the tops of his ears as he processed what she said. It took him several, amusing seconds to sputter out, “My– my lady? I do not know what you mean to imply.”
Done playing the part of a perfect lady, Edwina allowed herself to roll her eyes. “Yes, you do.” When his mouth opened and closed with no words, she sighed in exasperation. She didn’t know why she had expected more from him. He had been stupid enough to propose to the sister of the woman he loved. “Do you have something you wish to ask me, my lord? Regarding my sister?”
The blush instantly took over his entire face so intensely it was hard to hold back her giggle. He practically squeaked out, “I beg your pardon?”
“I only assumed you wanted my blessing, my lord,” Edwina said, as if it was obvious. Because it was, if one only thought to look.
The viscount shot out of his seat, but it was her mother who asked, “Edwina? Whatever do you mean?”
“I was just making sure the viscount knew that it worked both ways,” Edwina said innocently. She faced her mother, who was sitting by the window drinking her tea. “Just as any man who wants my hand must ask Kate for her blessing, so too must any man who wishes to marry Kate ask for my blessing.”
“I beg your pardon,” Lord Bridgerton said. His hands folded behind his back as he tried to look intimidating. “When exactly did I imply that I wish to marry your sister?”
Deciding in the face of his stubbornness that she really did deserve her petty fun, Edwina looked up at him and said, “I know that she is the bane of your existence, but she is more than that, as well… is she not?”
The viscount’s jaw fell open as his blush became so bright that he practically glowed. Like a tomato dressed in a fancy suit. He snapped his mouth shut so quickly she could almost hear his teeth clatter from her seat. His eyes snapped between both women before finally settling on her mother. “Forgive me, Lady Mary. I know this is all rather indecorous... if I may be so bold as to ask for a moment alone with Miss Edwina? I think we have already established that our engagement is over. You have my word as a gentleman that nothing untoward will happen.”
When she still hesitated, Edwina added, “And I’m sure that you wish to speak to Kate, Mama.”
Her mother looked at her for a hard moment before nodding. She offered the viscount a shallow curtsy before leaving them alone. Leaving the door open just a crack, enough to claim proprietary was maintained in case someone were to stumble upon them.
“Miss Edwina,” Lord Bridgerton said. He sat back down and leaned forward on his thighs. “There seems to be a misunderstanding.”
“Actually, I rather think I finally understand our situation perfectly,” Edwina said. She took a sip of her own tea, if only to hide her smirk. Teasing him was cathartic to her residual annoyance. “You do know that your honor will not be called into action if you marry her before acting on your… desires, my lord? I know ladies aren’t supposed to speak of such things, but I do believe we are past such formalities.”
The viscount scoffed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
His patronizing tone made her bite her tongue. It was her own fault for playing the submissive lady for so long, but that logic did nothing to ease the resentment. She snapped her teacup down on its matching dish with a clink, hard enough that some tea spilled over onto her finger. She paid it no mind as she glared at him. “It is you that is mistaken, my lord. You said it yourself. A marriage between me and you would bind the two of you together for eternity. And while I know that you are a fool – what sort of man proposes to the sister of the love of his life? – if you think that the ending of our engagements means that you are no longer bound to Kate, you are an even bigger fool than I thought. Do you truly believe that you will forget her? That you will ever move on? That there will ever a day that you will not love her?
“My sister is the single most lovable person that has ever graced this Earth, my lord. She is brave, selfless, intelligent, stubborn, kind, passionate, and generous. You are a unique man, my lord. You were smart enough to see her worth... yet you were foolish enough to chase after her sister. And why? Because I was the better match by society’s standards?
“I believe that I would make a fine viscountess, but I would fail miserably as Lady Bridgerton. As much as I long for a family as happy and loving and chaotic as yours, that does not mean that I am suited to help you take care of them. I knew that when we played the pall mall together, even though I did not admit it… even to myself. I knew it, and so did you.
“You wish to find the perfect woman to be Lady Bridgerton? Well, look no further. My sister loves your family already, and they love her. She’s been managing my family’s affairs since Appa died. She will manage yours just fine, and she will do more than that my lord. She will love them unconditionally.”
And suddenly Edwina realized why Kate and Lord Bridgerton were so perfect for each other. And she felt a bigger fool than them both for not seeing it earlier. They had both been thrust into their respective roles too early from the death of a father. They had sacrificed their own hearts and lives because they loved their families so devotedly.
Lord Bridgerton cleared his throat. He looked down at his hands and shook his head. “You are braver and wiser than us both.” His eyes glazed over as he became lost in his thoughts. When he finally met her gaze, he no longer seemed in denial. “Thank you, Miss Edwina, for calling me out on what I’ve been feeling for months. You will make some man very happy one day.”
Edwina couldn’t fight her smile. “Indeed.”
“I owe you an apology, though. I do,” he said quickly when she went to tell him otherwise. “I will– I will not apologize for falling in love with your sister. Because, truthfully, I am– I tried to deny it for so long – to fight it – but I am helpless against her. Though if you tell someone I said that, I will deny it. I must beg your forgiveness for the manner in which you learned of my– of my feelings. You heard us last night?”
It was strange. When he said it happened just last night, she wanted to reject that notion. It felt like a lifetime ago. How many destinations had her own feelings been since that godawful dinner?
“I did,” Edwina said. She was proud that she had gotten him to admit aloud that he was in love with Kate. But no matter how it hurt her pride, she wanted to reward his bravery. As much as she loved her fun, this man was to be her brother-in-law. And while she was mature enough to no longer feel the need to berate him, she still wanted to listen to Kate yell at him on her behalf. If that made her more callow than she wanted to be… well, no one was perfect. Besides, siblings were meant to tease one another, were they not?
Only he viscount did not give her time to speak.
“You must not be angry at Kate. Everything was my fault. Your sister only wanted the best for you. She knew that you wanted a love match, and she knew you would not find that with me. You have every right to be angry at our– at our current situation, but please know… your anger should be directed at me and me alone. Your sister tried to keep her distance between us, but I– it was me who pursued her. She is blameless in all of this.”
The way that he defended Kate – needlessly, though he didn’t know that – made something settle in Edwina. It was true what he said. Theirs would never have been a love match. Not because of any faults of her own, but because his heart was already taken. And though he was flawed, and clearly lacked the ability to utilize good plain, common sense when his heart was involved, he would be a good husband. Just as he took care of his siblings so devotedly, so too would he take care of Kate. Just as she would him.
What was the saying? A burden shared was a burden halved.
“Do not worry, my lord. Overhearing your conversation helped me learn that Kate would fight for my happiness even when it is direct opposition to her own. We spoke about it in great length last night, and I’m happy to report that our friendship is stronger than ever,” Edwina said.
The viscount’s shoulders relaxed as he nodded slowly. “Good. That’s good.”
“And as for you, my lord, I might’ve been angrier should we have made it to the altar, but I do not hold your feelings for Kate against you,” Edwina said. It was strange. Now that she was no longer trying to play the man’s perfect wife, conversation flowed easier. She was no longer scared to speak her mind, even if it was to voice her own flaws. “I have recently learned that I take for granted how much the eldest sibling sacrifices in the name of their families. I cannot pretend I understand what you were thinking. With that said, I believe I can find it in myself to forgive you… if you stop letting your fears rule you and go after who you truly want.”
Edwina gently took off the engagement ring and handed it over. “Strange,” she mused. “That the ring was the perfect fit for Kate. It was stuck when she was used to test the size, did it not? And yet it so easily comes off my own finger.”
Lord Bridgerton didn’t seem to hear her. He was too busy holding the ring in both hands, staring at it as if it could provide him much needed answers. His entire face seemed to change, a thousand dreams dancing over those brown eyes that she used to find so intimidating.
Finally, he cleared his throat and looked back at her. “Miss Edwina, I have a question for you.”
Thanking God that it seemed he was finally done playing the fool, Edwina prompted, “Yes, my lord?”
“Will you please give me your blessing to marry your sister?”