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Growing up, Lan Zhan never understood the people who favored the summer season. He couldn’t understand the appeal. Lan Zhan couldn’t understand how people would find joy out of the humid air. Summer meant heat. Oppressive heat. The weather would get as hot as can be, causing his clothes to feel damp, wet with his sweat. The end of every day had to end in a much needed shower to get rid of the sticky, grimy feeling he felt. In summer, Lan Zhan couldn’t play outside for long, feeling overheated not even 5 minutes after entering his backyard. The only way to cool off would be to enter a cool, ac-ventilated building, or drinking a cold beverage. Lan Zhan would remember the gross feeling of melted ice cream on his fingers; he would remember the stickiness that clung to every surface.
In summer, Lan Zhan would have to wear shorts he hated. Lan Zhan would be forced to give up his usual attire for something more airy.
His hair would almost always be up, with Lan Zhan unable, and unwilling, to comb his fingers through his damp hair. Lan Zhan wouldn’t be able to braid his hair, or do his favorite cute hairstyles, due to the humidity in the air, as well as the sweat rendering every hair product ineffective. Every day, Lan Zhan would struggle to keep his hair under control, only to return home with a frizzy mess regardless of his attempts.
Summer brought a lot of problems for Lan Zhan since he was young, so when school would start back up and teachers would be begin asking, “What’s your favorite season?’” As an ice breaker to get to know one another, Lan Zhan always responded with winter.
How could winter not be Lan Zhan’s favorite holiday? Winter was a combination of everything Lan Zhan loved. Winter was everything Summer was not.
In winter, Lan Zhan did not have to worry about being hot or cold. He could put on his favorite coats, and feel warm all day long.
In winter, Lan Zhan didn’t have to force himself to drink freezing water to stay cool. He got to drink his favorite hot drinks with pleasure, while feeling the extra satisfaction of his drinks warming him from the inside out. His drinks that would only make him sweat and feel more uncomfortable in the summer, were able to be enjoyed to their fullest extent in the winter.
In the winter, Lan Zhan didn’t have to wear uncomfortable attire. He got to wear everything he loved, from turtlenecks, to thick, wool pants. Lan Zhan got to wear his favorite baby blue gloves along with his matching baby blue scarf.
In winter, Lan Zhan would get to have some of his favorite foods. The soups were more than welcome in winter where Lan Zhan didn’t have to worry about sweat dripping down his brow.
In winter, no one was expected to leave their home, due to the cold. Lan Zhan could stay at home, curled up on the couch under a blanket, reading a good book, and no one would have anything to say about it. Lan Zhan could wear his favorite fuzzy socks while lounging around, putting on tranquil music, and basking in the warmth of his house. Lan Zhan could look out his window and see the pretty snow blanketing his front yard. Winter was full of peace and tranquility, whereas Summer was full of life. Winter was the season Lan Zhan had always felt most comfortable in. It felt like a personification of who he was as a person… which was why he surprised himself when he told Nie Huaisang that his favorite season was Summer.
Nie Huaisang, Lan Zhan’s boyfriend’s best friend- and, at this point, sort of Lan Zhan’s friend as well- , was a youtuber who tended to make videos based on people. He often had projects where he would film strangers every-day lives, or hold interviews to get people’s answers to the most mundane, as well as the most insane, questions. Usually, these types of projects only included strangers. Nie Huaisang had made sure to draw a distinction between his personal life and professional life. His YouTube videos tended to go viral, and the last thing Huaisang wanted was for people to befriend him just to try to show up in one of his videos. Nie Huaisang was always careful with the people he selected for his videos, always vetting them and setting up the interview anywhere from weeks to months in advance. Nie Huaisang also tended to have a busy schedule, often filming, traveling, or coming up with his next project, while reviewing the edits his editor had made to his videos before uploading them to YouTube.
This time, Nie Huaisang had decided to make a project on seasons. It was a pretty simple question, but Lan Zhan had learned long ago that Nie Huaisang could turn the most mundane question into the most beautiful, at times awe-inspiring, video out there. As usual, Nie Huaisang had kept a busy schedule, which had left him completely unprepared to deal with the situation of two strangers dropping out of the interview the night before the interviews were to take place. Nie Huaisang was desperate to find replacements. He didn’t have time to vet anyone else this last minute. He had gone to his best friend, Wei Ying, in the end and asked for a favor from him and Lan Zhan. It took a bit of convincing, but eventually both agreed, and now Lan Zhan sat here, in Nie Huaisang’s interview room, shocked at his own answer. As a precaution, Nie Huaisang would never share the topic of his videos until the interview was actively happening. According to Huaisang, this was so the answers and reactions could be as genuine as possible, and Lan Zhan’s answer, as well as his reaction to his answer, was as genuine as it could be.
Nie Huaisang had asked what Lan Zhan’s favorite season was, and Lan Zhan had answered summer. Not winter. Not even fall, or spring. No. Lan Zhan had answered Summer.
Lan Zhan’s eyes widened, once he processed his own answer. When had his favorite season changed?
Nie Huaisang, noticing Lan Zhan’s surprise, decided to clarify, “Just to be sure, you heard my question right? I asked what your favorite season was.”
Lan Zhan nodded, still a bit stunned with himself. Nie Huaisang assessed him for a moment, before coming to some type of conclusion in his head. Not bothering to share his thoughts aloud, he asked another question, “Why is summer your favorite season?”
Why? Why indeed. Lan Zhan would have never imagined himself to say Summer was his favorite season. What changed? What about summer did-
Lan Zhan’s thoughts came to a halt, remembering his most recent summer.
-
Lan Zhan had met Wei Ying last fall, and they had instantly clicked. At first, Lan Zhan had tried to stay away from the man, finding him too rambunctious; he knew Wei Ying would be no good for Lan Zhan, but Wei Ying was nothing if not persistent. Lan Zhan wasn’t sure how exactly it happened, but one day, Wei Ying wasn’t by his side, and the next day he was. Suddenly, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying were inseparable, where one was, the other was soon to be. By summer, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan were the best of friends. By summer, Lan Zhan was in love with Wei Ying.
Wei Ying had once expressed how excited he was for the upcoming summer, as it was his favorite season, and Lan Zhan had looked at him, appalled, wondering once more what the appeal was. Wei Ying, glancing at his expression, burst up laughing, having to calm himself down a bit before giggling, “You’re so funny er-gege! You don’t even have to say a word to make me laugh! I guess you’re not a fan of summer?”
Lan Zhan glared at nothing, just thinking about the horrible season. “Mm.”
Wei Ying smiled, “You just haven’t experienced it correctly! Let’s spend the summer together okay?” And Lan Zhan had agreed, never being one to deny Wei Ying anything at that point.
The looming season brought about a strange sense of anticipation from Lan Zhan, just how exactly had his experiences differed from Wei Ying? Especially to the point where Lan Zhan hated the season, but Wei Ying loved it. Not only was Lan Zhan going to be spending his summer with the one who secretly held his affections, Lan Zhan was going to be spending the summer with said-man’s kid.
A-Yuan was someone Wei Ying hadn’t mentioned until a little before spring. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying had been grading some of their student’s papers in Lan Zhan’s classroom. Wei Ying had insisted on being next to Lan Zhan when he graded his students' works, stating, “Lan Zhan! What if I need your help? What if Cloud Recess Academy has different grading standards than my last school? I’ve only been here since fall and have already gotten in trouble with administration for the way I teach and grade!” He pouted before continuing, “Obviously I have not yet gotten used to being here. I need to be here so that I don’t have to travel across campus every time I need your help.” Lan Zhan had simply ‘Mn’ed in response , choosing to ignore the fact that Wei Ying’s classroom was just 4 doors down from his, and that had been that.
Wei Ying was everything Lan Zhan was not, and in the weeks since Wei Ying proposed doing his work in Lan Zhan’s classroom, Lan Zhan had really gotten to know him. Wei Ying was talkative, but Lan Zhan quickly realized most of what Wei Ying spoke of was very surface level unless he considered someone a friend. Once Wei Ying considered someone a friend, he would be more open about himself and his life. Wei Ying’s rambles went from discussing the benefits of seasoning the school lunch back in the fall when they had first met, to now discussing more personal matters, one such matter being Wei Ying’s son, who Lan Zhan hadn’t even known existed up until that moment. Lan Zhan had looked up, shocked, from the papers he had been grading. He had stared at Wei Ying with wide eyes until Wei Ying had noticed his staring and stopped his rambling. “What? What’s Wrong? Did something happen? Do you disagree with my plan to take A-Yuan to the aquarium? I know he’s young, but I promise you that he’s a very respectful little kid Lan Zhan! He won’t touch the glass or do anything he shouldn’t. He’ll be good!”
Lan Zhan cleared his now dry throat, gathering up his thoughts before finally responding, “I apologize. I was simply unaware Wei Ying had a… child.”
“Oh!” Wei Ying exclaimed, “I guess I forgot to mention it? Would you like to see him?” Wei Ying asked, already pulling out his phone. While scrolling through his phone to find some pictures, he continued talking.
“Yeah, sorry, I thought it best to not bring him up often as he goes to school here. I didn’t want him to get different treatment from anyone, good or bad… Ah ha! Look at my baby Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying shoved the phone in Lan Zhan’s face in his excitement. Lan Zhan moved his head back, before grabbing Wei Ying’s phone and adjusting it into a better position for viewing. Wei Ying made his way around the desk, crouching next to Lan Zhan to see the photos along with Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan stiffened a bit, feeling Wei Ying’s body heat so close to his. He decided to focus on the photos of Wei Ying’s child instead, and, as he turned his eyes to focus on the picture of the boy on the phone, he couldn’t help but allow his heart to melt a little.
The boy in the picture was absolutely adorable, his eyes closed shut, as he laughed freely, his little body doing nothing to contain the absolute joy he felt. Lan Zhan felt the corners of his lips upturn, wanting to smile simply because of how happy the boy seemed.
“He has Wei Ying’s smile.” He said. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, already he was feeling his ears burning a little. Wei Ying turned to stare at him, in shock. Lan Zhan forced himself to turn as well, facing Wei Ying head-on even though Wei Ying’s face was a little too close for Lan Zhan’s heart to seemingly handle. They stared at one another for what felt like both an eternity, as well as a millisecond, before Wei Ying pulled away, chuckling a bit.
“Ah, Lan Zhan, that means a lot to me, believe it or not. A-Yuan was actually adopted. Though I’ve known him since he was around one, due to being a family friend of sorts, I’m not his biological dad.”
Lan Zhan felt embarrassed; he wanted the ground to swallow him whole and end this conversation, but Wei Ying, sensing his discomfort, quickly went to reassure him, “Lan Zhan, I mean it. It means a lot that you can see my smile in him. He’s spent most of his life with me, and I’m honored that he would pick up the way I smile. Though the adoption was only finalized two years ago, I’ve thought of him as my son long before then.”
Lan Zhan, at this point, had calmed his embarrassment, Wei Ying was not laughing at him, in fact, he was doing the opposite of that. Wei Ying was touched by Lan Zhan’s comment, there was no reason to feel embarrassed.
From that moment on, A-Yuan had become a more frequent topic of conversation. Wei Ying had seemed excited to have someone else to talk about A-Yuan with. In the months leading up to summer, Wei Ying even introduced them. The amount of times Lan Zhan met A-Yuan in the months leading up to summer, could be counted on one hand, as Wei Ying was (rightly so) very protective of his kid, and yet, Lan Zhan loved the boy. A-Yuan was sweet, and thoughtful just as Wei Ying had often recounted. He was shy, and a bit on the quieter side, though his playful side tended to come out quite quickly with his father’s attention on him. A-Yuan had a secret mischievous side that Lan Zhan had not had the opportunity to personally witness yet, though Wei Ying always made sure to recount tales when possible. Lan Zhan felt as if he knew A-Yuan, and when Wei Ying proposed for Lan Zhan to spend the summer with Wei Ying and A-Yuan, all Lan Zhan could do was agree.
-
By the time summer finally rolled around, Lan Zhan was aware of his feelings for Wei Ying. Somewhere between Spring and summer, it all just clicked in Lan Zhan’s brain. He came to the realization that the feelings he had tried to label as “annoyed” and “uncomfortable” were actually what most people would call a crush. By the time Lan Zhan realized, it was too late. Lan Zhan had moved past a simple crush by this stage. He was fully, irrevocably, in love and unable (as well as unwilling) to do anything about it.
And that summer? That summer was the best summer of Lan Zhan’s life. That summer, Wei Ying taught him how to live. That summer, Wei Ying changed Lan Zhan’s view.
-
While the summer had started out the same as it always had, corralling children to behave until they finally went on summer break, it didn’t stay that way until the end. On the last day of school, Lan Zhan had been sitting in his empty classroom, dreading going out in the summer heat and already feeling the oncoming sweat, when Wei Ying had knocked on his door. Lan Zhan took a deep breath; Wei Ying had decided to start off their summer activities right away, which meant today was going to be the first of many Wei-Ying-planned activities made to change Lan Zhan’s stubborn mind about the season. Earlier in the day Wei Ying had asked him, “Lan Zhan, I know you like to wait until after most of the student population has left the school before leaving the school yourself, so would it be okay if I quickly went home after my last class to pick up some things? I’ll be back before you know it.” Lan Zhan had agreed to the proposition, and now here he was, about to meet with Wei Ying and start his summer.
Lan Zhan squared his shoulders, as prepared as he’ll ever be to face the heat, and opened the door to his classroom, quickly exiting and locking it up before turning to face his companions for this summer, Wei Ying and his son. Both of them beamed up at Lan Zhan, clearly excited for the rest of the day, and Lan Zhan could do nothing to stop the gooey feeling he felt in his chest. Gathering himself, Lan Zhan knelt down to A-Yuan’s height, sticking out his hand for a handshake. “Hello A-Yuan.” He said in his normal tone of voice, wanting A-Yuan to know that Lan Zhan took him seriously.
A-Yuan, who at that point had gone back to hiding behind Wei Ying’s legs, still a bit shy around Lan Zhan, came out a little and took his hand, shaking it as he smiled shyly. “Hello teacher Lan.” Wei Ying pouted at A-Yuan’s form of address for Lan Zhan.
“A-Yuan, it's summer now! You can call him Zhan-gege! Right Lan Zhan?”
“Mm.” Lan Zhan replied, while standing back up to his full height once more.
He turned his gaze to A-Yuan once again before, in a soft voice, addressing him. “A-Yuan may call me whatever makes him comfortable.”
A-Yuan beamed once more as Wei Ying sighed dramatically, whining about Lan Zhan being too soft on the boy. They trio began to make their way to the parking lot, as A-Yuan and Wei Ying began excitedly discussing their plans for the summer. A-Yuan’s shyness had been quickly forgotten at the prospect of having fun all summer long. The Wei’s had made sure to plan as many fun summer things as they could this season, not wanting Lan Zhan to miss out on any of their favorite summer experiences. The Wei’s had also made sure to keep their plans a secret from Lan Zhan. While Wei Ying would sometimes ask Lan Zhan random questions such as “Lan Zhan, how do you feel about ice cream?” He never quite went into specifics. Lan Zhan had a vague idea of some of their summer plans, but he had know clue when each activity would take place. Wei Ying had insisted on anonymity, stating that most times he and A-Yuan did their summer activities spontaneously, never knowing what they would be doing for the day until they were already doing it.
Lan Zhan felt a little guilty at the thought, thinking he was robbing both A-Yuan and Wei Ying of their authentic summer experience, but Wei Ying had reassured him by telling him that planning things out would be better for them. By planning out their activities they wouldn’t have to think about what to do every day, and they wouldn't have to wait for days before another summer activity idea hit them. According to Wei Ying, A-Yuan tended to like schedules as well, and preferred this way of setting up their activities instead of the spontaneity of summers passed.
Their first activity ended up being something on the tamer side of summer activities. It was a picnic in a field close to a park that surprisingly seemed a bit empty. By the time they arrived at their location, the sun had gone down a little, allowing the trees to provide enough of a shadow for the trio to sit under. Lan Zhan stared curiously at the different bag’s Wei Ying had brought with him, watching as Wei Ying unpacked everything. Lan Zhan had offered his help a couple of times, but each time he was shooed away with the notion that “Lan Zhan is a guest. He should sit back and enjoy the ultimate summer experience.” The only thing Wei Ying relented on was the spreading out of the picnic blanket, as a small wind had begun to pick up, and A-Yuan could not help much.
Once everything was set up, Lan Zhan found himself enjoying his time outside. The weather seemed cooler in the shade by the trees, and the nature around him looked beautiful. The park was also pretty empty, which led to a tranquility Lan Zhan had never felt much in the summer. Lan Zhan felt relaxed and comfortable. There was no uncomfortable sweat; there were no damp clothes; there were no crowds or loud noises. Everything was… perfect. And Lan Zhan couldn’t pretend that he minded his current company. He watched as A-Yuan and Wei Ying conversed with one another, jumping from topic to topic while always making sure to include Lan Zhan in their conversations. Both Wei’s seemed content, just sitting on the picnic blanket, sharing their summer experience with Lan Zhan as all three of them ate the food Wei Ying had packed. (The food that looked, and tasted, different from all the other dishes Lan Zhan had seen Wei Ying eat throughout the school year. The food that seemed less spicy, and maybe a little bit less seasoned. The food that consisted of a lot of vegetables and not a lot of meat. The food that made Lan Zhan tell himself that it was made to fit A-Yuan’s taste pallet, in order to stay sane. The food that Lan Zhan made a concentrated effort not to think about while eating.)
Pretty soon, everyone began feeling full, and A-Yuan began to fidget, clearly wanting to get up. Wei Ying smiled before grabbing one of the other bags he had brought, pulling out toys and other activities they could take part in. Wei Ying turned to Lan Zhan, while tying up his shoelaces, and smiled, “Remember how I told you to bring a book with you? After we eat, A-Yuan and I like to play, but I wasn't sure whether you would like to join us. Me and A-Yuan won’t force you, so if you’d rather read, you can start now.” Lan Zhan nodded, smiling a bit at Wei Ying’s thoughtfulness, before grabbing the book he had brought with him. Wei Ying nodded, as he got up, leaving the picnic blanket and stepping onto the grass around them.
“Which would you like to do first, A- Yuan?” Lan Zhan heard Wei Ying ask before he opened his book and began reading.
-
Lan Zhan didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually he came to the realization that it was getting harder to read; the sun was going down. He glanced around, looking for Wei Ying and Wei Yuan. He spotted them at a distance running towards Lan Zhan. He watched as Wei Ying purposefully ran slow, lightly shoving A-Yuan in an attempt to “try” to win their apparent race. A-Yuan giggled as he ran at full speed, trying to get away from Wei Ying’s shoving, not wanting to participate in the cheating behavior his dad was partaking in. Even from a distance, Lan Zhan could hear the family’s joyful laughter, as well as see A-Yuan’s red cheeks. Lan Zhan couldn’t help but feel warm inside, though he tried to blame it on the season.
As they got closer to Lan Zhan, Wei Ying gasped before purposefully falling to the ground, pretending he tripped. Lan Zhan watched as Wei Ying pretended make a grab for A-Yuan’s ankle, A-Yuan gleefully laughing all the while. “No! A-Yuan! You’re gonna beat me!”
A-Yuan continued running, not turning to watch Wei Ying get up and start jogging to catch up. A-Yuan reached the imaginary finish line first, which ended up being one of the bags Wei Ying had brought with him. He rejoiced with joy while screaming, “Baba! I beat you! I beat you!”
Wei Ying laughed, running the final stretch to A-Yuan before bending down to pick him up, spinning them both around and around. “Radish! You beat me! When did you get so fast?!”
Lan Zhan couldn’t help the fond feeling that filled his body, watching the two of them. Wei Ying looked beautiful with his wind-swept hair and red cheeks gained from the exercise and the sun. Even the light sweat coating Wei Ying’s body did nothing to stop Lan Zhan’s attraction towards the man, instead, Lan Zhan thought it made Wei Ying look more attractive.
Wei Ying turned his attention from A-Yuan to Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan felt his breath give way. Wei Ying’s eyes shined with pure joy, and his smile looked dazzling. “Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying said, a bit breathless from the running. “Are you ready to go? I hope we didn’t keep you longer than you wanted.”
Lan Zhan shook his head, not wanting Wei Ying to think he’d done something wrong, but also unable to speak, feeling his words stuck in his throat. Lan Zhan had always felt Wei Ying was beautiful, but right now, under the sunset light, Wei Ying looked absolutely radiant. Lan Zhan felt that if he spoke right now, he would not be able to stop himself from confessing, and that was the last thing he needed to do. It would ruin the rest of their summer, so Lan Zhan stayed quiet, and gave Wei Ying a reassuring smile; which Wei Ying’s eyes widened at.
Quietly, they packed away their belongings, and this time, Wei Ying allowed Lan Zhan to help. The walk to Wei Ying’s car was filled with a comfortable silence, and the car ride felt soothing as well, with peaceful music playing lightly through the speakers. Neither tried to speak, and A-Yuan quickly began nodding off in the backseat, clearly tired out. Lan Zhan felt dazed the whole ride, unable to think of anything but Wei Ying’s gorgeous smile. By the time Lan Zhan came out of his daze, Wei Ying was pulling up to Lan Zhan’s enclosed community.
Wei Ying turned to give a questioning look to Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan quietly recounted the password to open the gates. Pretty soon, Wei Ying’s car sat parked in Lan Zhan’s driveway, turned off with no one making a move to get out or start a conversation. Lan Zhan eventually turned his body to face Wei Ying, feeling surprise run through him when he came to the realization that Wei Ying was already looking at him; the look Wei Ying was giving him felt tender, and Lan Zhan felt himself relaxing, softening up his expression as well. Something about the moment felt vulnerable, and Lan Zhan had the thought that he could confess to Wei Ying right here right now, with soft music playing in the background and A-Yuan asleep right behind them. The darkening sky cast a beautiful shadow on Wei Ying, making his sharper features appear more prominent, and Lan Zhan knew that if he didn’t get out of the car soon, he would do something he would regret. Already he was feeling his throat dry up, but he pushed through as he spoke. “Wei Ying… Thank you. I had a lovely day today.”
Wei Ying’s body slumped in what appeared to be relief. He leaned his elbow against his steering wheel, while tilting his head towards his elbow, all the while looking at Lan Zhan with one of the softest smiles Lan Zhan had ever seen on him. It was the type of smile Wei Ying often gave to his son, and something about Wei Ying now giving that smile to Lan Zhan made the butterflies in his stomach explode. Lan Zhan felt as his ears began to heat up, shy with the thought of him bringing that type of smile to Wei Ying’s face.
“Ah.. Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying spoke softly, “I’m really glad you enjoyed today. I thought a lot about what our first summer activity should be. I figured you would appreciate something more relaxing and less crowded. A-Yuan suggested the picnic at the park, as well as asking you to bring a book. Thank you for choosing to spend your summer with us. I promise we’ll make it worthwhile.”
Lan Zhan felt a small grin overtake his features. The Wei family were thoughtful indeed. "Thank you for inviting me to spend my summer with you. I look forward to the next activity. Goodnight Wei Ying.” He forced himself to open the car door and exit, knowing that if he stayed a second longer, he would want to go home with them instead.
Wei Ying nodded at him, “Good night Lan Zhan. I’ll text you later.” Lan Zhan closed the car door and walked to his front door, opening it before finally allowing himself to glance back at Wei Ying. Wei Ying waved at him as he turned on his car. He backed out of Lan Zhan’s driveway, and then he was gone.
Lan Zhan sighed as he entered his house, leaning against his now closed front door. Today was wonderful. It was everything Lan Zhan could want in a day of relaxation; it was the perfect start to summer. It was a day Lan Zhan can’t ever remember having in the summer. He hadn’t lied when he had told Wei Ying he was excited for the next activity, and now he had no doubt that if Wei Ying’s activities kept making Lan Zhan feel like this, Lan Zhan would stop hating the summer season.
-
A couple of weeks into their summer, Lan Zhan felt well, and truly, screwed. For the day’s activity, Wei Ying had planned a simple outing. The park they had gone to for their first summer activity had a large pond right by it, and ducks frequented it often. A-Yuan had wanted to show those ducks to Lan Zhan, and so the activity had been made.
At this point, Lan Zhan had already spent quite a bit of his summer with Wei Ying and A-Yuan. They had gone to an amusement park, as well as an aquarium. They visited two different museums, as well as an art gallery. They'd gone roller skating, and bike riding. They attended a sidewalk chalk art competition, and had gone to a festival. They went to a gymnasium, and went laser tagging. They attended a fair, and went camping in Lan Zhan’s backyard because “Lan Zhan! Your backyard makes more sense! Apparently we need a permit to camp in the park, and me and A-Yuan live in an apartment. We would usually camp in my brother's backyard, but he and his sister are out of this country this year. Can we do it at your place?” And of course Lan Zhan had said yes.
They’ve done a multitude of activities together, and while each one left Lan Zhan in varying degrees of sweatiness, he still found himself enjoying the days and the activities. Not once had he found himself actively dreading the activities. Even if he felt nervous before the outings, the nervousness would quickly go away while in the car with Wei Ying and A-Yuan. Lan Zhan was content. He was happy with Wei Ying and A-Yuan, and he was happy with himself. Until today.
Today was supposed to be a simple outing to the park. They were simply planning to sit by the pond, looking at ducks.
Lan Zhan still wasn’t sure how everything had escalated. Earlier in the day, he had played with A-Yuan and Wei Ying. They had played tag as well as a brief stint of hide-and-seek until A-Yuan almost gave Wei Ying a heart attack when he hid really well. They had also kicked around a football for a bit. All the playing had tired A-Yuan out quite quickly, and he ended up laying down on their picnic blanket for an afternoon nap, leaving Wei Ying and Lan Zhan alone.
They had tried conversing like normal, but the truth is, since they had began having these activities, Lan Zhan was finding it harder and harder to hold a non- A-Yuan conversation with Wei Ying. A-Yuan was a safe topic, as Lan Zhan genuinely loved the child and loved hearing about him. Every other topic tended to fade into the background for Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan would take a look at Wei Ying, and suddenly, all his thoughts would be centered around the man. No matter how much Lan Zhan would try to focus on the conversation topic at hand, his brain would only focus on thoughts of how soft Wei Ying’s lips looked; how Lan Zhan wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through Wei Ying’s hair.
The lack of concentration would lead to awkward conversations, in which Lan Zhan could not give detailed answers to the questions Wei Ying asked. In short, conversations with Wei Ying were becoming awkward, stilted, and Lan Zhan didn’t know what to do about it.
Well… he had one option. He could always confess to Wei Ying and hope his feelings were returned, but Lan Zhan was scared. This summer was the best of Lan Zhan’s life, and they were only halfway through. Lan Zhan pleaded with himself to just survive this summer with his feelings. He promised himself he would confess to Wei Ying at the end of summer, even if it was selfish on his part. Still, it was hard to converse with Wei Ying now. How was he going to make it until the end of the summer?
“Lan Zhan… are you mad at me or something? These past couple of outings you’ve been distant. You haven’t really talked to me much, and I guess I… I guess I’m just wondering if I did something wrong?”
Lan Zhan sucked in a breath. He had known the conversations were coming out awkward, but he had no idea Wei Ying would blame himself. He glanced at Wei Ying, taking in the way Wei Ying looked sullen, glancing down by his feet, where he was pulling out blades of grass from the ground with his hand. Lan Zhan felt guilt in the pit of his stomach, fully recognizing that he had caused Wei Ying to feel this way. “Wei Ying. I apologize, I am not mad at you.”
Wei Ying glanced up at him, eyes searching Lan Zhan’s for something. Lan Zhan tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible, trying not to give anything away. Wei Ying frowned before looking away once more. “Look Lan Zhan, I’m going to be honest with you. I consider you one of my closest friends, but I feel like you don’t. Lately, you ignore me. You only talk to me when it concerns A-Yuan, and every other time I talk to you, you look like you don’t want me to be here. I’ve been trying to figure out what I did wrong for the past couple days, but the only thing I can think of that would make you mad at me, is my feelings. I don’t know how you found out, but I would appreciate it if you would be upfront with me. I have a son. I have to put him first. He’s had people leave him before, and if my feelings are enough for you to decide to leave, I would appreciate it if you would tell me and leave now instead of putting it off. The last thing I need is A-Yuan crying over another adult leaving him behind, and… And I know it’s unfair to you. You didn’t ask for me to have these feelings for you, but- But I do! I do have these feelings. I can’t help it either. What’s done is done so… Can you be honest now?”
By the end of Wei Ying’s monologue, Lan Zhan’s heart was racing. What feelings? Wei Ying had feelings? Lan Zhan took a moment to gather his thoughts, not wanting to blurt anything out. This had to be well thought out, so that Wei Ying would not be able to misinterpret anything. “Wei Ying, I apologize. I had no notion of any feelings you hold towards me. I…”
Lan Zhan had never hesitated before, always speaking short, concise sentences, but then again, Lan Zhan had never felt this nervous before. Lan Zhan’s heart had never pounded this hard before. He took in a shaky breath and continued, “I must confess, I have not been able to participate in conversations because I have been distracted. It seems that somewhere along our friendship, I began to feel romantically towards you. I had initially thought that it would be best to not confess my feelings, keeping my emotions to myself for the sake of our friendship, but now I see that I was doing more harm than good. It was never my intention to hurt you.”
Wei Ying’s eyes glittered with unshed tears as he looked at Lan Zhan. All Lan Zhan could do was stare back with bated breath. He exposed his feelings to Wei Ying, now it was up to Wei Ying to decide what to do with that information. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying choked out, “You mean it? You like me romantically? Because… Because Lan Zhan I- You- You’re really great. I like you. Or in other words, I fancy you, I love you, I want you, I whatever you. I-”
Wei Ying went breathless in his excitement to confess, and Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan sat, stunned, at the confession. He knew he didn’t have to be stunned, Wei Ying had practically confessed earlier in the conversation, but still, it was different to hear Wei Ying say “I love you” directly to Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan’s heart pounded so hard, he was sure it was going to burst out of his chest. All he could do was repeat Wei Ying’s confession back to him. “ I fancy you… I… love you.. I want you, I whatever you.”
Wei Ying stared at him intently the whole time, wanting to make sure he was hearing correctly. “Lan Zhan, are you just repeating what I’m saying or… or did you confess to me?” Wei Ying asked tentatively, trying to hide the emotions behind his eyes, but Lan Zhan could see the slight fear he felt.
Lan Zhan went to reassure Wei Ying, by confirming that he was indeed confessing, and he was unable to do anything but sit as Wei Ying exclaimed in glee, leaning over to hug Lan Zhan tightly. It took a while for Lan Zhan to process what was happening, and once he realized, he wrapped his arms around Wei Ying, holding him just as tightly. Wei Ying buried his head in Lan Zhan’s neck, and Lan Zhan felt as if he was flying. He had never felt this happy before.
It was there, under the summer sun, that Lan Zhan kissed Wei Ying for the first time. It was there, in the middle of summer, that Lan Zhan and Wei Ying decided to start dating, albeit, they decided to take things slow for A-Yuan’s sake. The rest of the summer activities weren't simple outings. They were dates. They were family dates that the trio enjoyed immensely, whether they were out in crowded places such as a theme park, or simply relaxing in Lan Zhan’s backyard.
The summer ended, but the dates didn’t. The meetups continued, with Lan Zhan getting to experience Wei Ying in the fall once more, but this time, on better terms. This time, as the weather got colder, Lan Zhan didn't think he found Wei Ying annoying; he knew what he was feeling towards Wei Ying was attraction. It was love.
And now, in the middle of fall, Lan Zhan was sitting in Nie Huaisang’s interview room, thinking about his past summer, and coming to the realization that Wei Ying had delivered on the promise he made those many months ago. He made Lan Zhan change his mind about Summer. In fact, Wei Ying exceeded his goal, making Summer Lan Zhan’s favorite season unbeknownst to either of them.
Lan Zhan glanced up at Nie Huaisang, coming to the startling realization that he had let his mind wander. His ears began heating in embarrassment as he asked, “I apologize. May you repeat the question?”
Nie Huaisang glanced at him curiously, tilting his head to the side a bit, before answering, “Sure. I had asked why summer is your favorite season.”
Lan Zhan gave one of his rare smiles at the question, now being prepared in answering it. He thought of a certain smile and a certain laugh. He thought of the ice cream dates and going to the park with his favorite person and his favorite person’s kid. He thought of sticky fingers and sand in his shoes. He thought about his first kiss with the love of his life. Summer was alive and warm and perfect. “When people think about summer, they think of the strong and overwhelming heat, and the sweat that comes with it. They think about not wanting to be exposed under the sun’s exposure too long, for fear of being burnt. I used to think that way as well until recently. Now… now I think about how warm the sun feels as I lay in the middle of a flower patch. I know how the warmth of the sun feels as if it is caressing me, holding me gently in its arms, bringing on the feeling of contentment. I know that the heat can feel good, able to make anyone feel something, even if one feels as if they were nothing but a block of ice as I did. I know how pretty everything looks, under the sun’s natural glow. How the flowers seem to thrive, basking in the warm light. Summer brings on the feeling of joy and contentment. Summer is beautiful weather.”
Nie Huaisang sat, stunned for a bit at the length and descriptiveness of Lan Zhan’s answer.
“Um… Are you sure you’re still talking about the season ?”
Lan Zhan looked at a spot behind Nie Huaisang, a faraway look in his eyes, as a soft grin graced his usually cold features. He spoke out a feint “Wei Ying” before finally refocusing on the interview, and Nie Huaisang in turn.
His smile slipped off as quickly as it had come, his face back in his usual expression. “Are we done with this interview?”
Nie Huaisang stared, looking on in incredulity, at Lan Zhan’s ability to change emotions just like that. He cleared his throat before replying. “Yeah. You were the last one for today. Thanks again for doing this at the last minute. Please remember not to discuss this interview with Wei Ying, at least not until after his interview tomorrow morning. Actually, now that I think about it, it would have been better to schedule Wei Ying to come in today and you tomorrow morning… but then again, Wei Ying doesn’t hide anything from you. I’m sure he would leave the interview and immediately call you to talk about the topic, so It’s better this way. Anyway… I’m rambling at this point, if you could please make sure Wei Ying shows up on time tomorrow? I would be grateful. You can leave now, thanks again! I owe you!”
Lan Zhan nodded, getting up and exiting the room after saying goodbye to Nie Huaisang. He quickly texted Wei Ying to see if he was still waiting in the parking lot for Lan Zhan. He was.
As soon as Lan Zhan entered the car he was bombarded with a barrage of questions. “Lan Zhan! How was the interview? What was the topic? Why did it take you so long? I went to the corner store for a bit to occupy myself, I got you these snacks, do you want them now or later?”
Lan Zhan felt soft, listening to all his boyfriend's questions. He turned to look at Wei Ying, who was currently wearing one of Lan Zhan’s sweaters, and all he could feel was love. He was feeling more sentimental than usual, after remembering their summer together. Wei Ying, noticing Lan Zhan’s behavior, stopped his rambling, smiling softly at Lan Zhan. “What is it baobei?”
Lan Zhan lightly shook his head, swallowing the sudden knot in his throat while reaching up to caress Wei Ying’s face. “I love you.” He whispered softly, wanting to be able to convey every emotion he was currently feeling into that simple sentence.
He watched as Wei Ying’s face turned red. HIs blush overtook his face as he whined, “Lan Zhan! You can’t do this to me! You have to give a warning before doing something like that.” Wei Ying covered his face with his hands, peeking out behind them to be able to look at Lan Zhan.
Lan Zhan nodded while giving Wei Ying a small grin. “Mm. Warning: I will be kissing Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying’s eyes widened, “Lan Zha- mmpfhd”
Lan Zhan kissed Wei Ying, sweet and slow, deciding this was the best way to convey his feelings towards his love.
Eventually, Lan Zhan pulled away slowly, making sure to press their foreheads together. His heart beat quickly as he felt their breaths mix, both slightly breathless. Lan Zhan’s voice was a bit rough as he whispered, “Let’s go to Wei Ying's home.” And Wei Ying nodded, both wanting to go to Wei Ying's home as soon as possible; both wanting to show their lover just how much they loved each other, as soon as possible.