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A lot had happened in the past week.
Where to begin? Oh, yeah. The world almost ended.
But because of the heroics of one brave soul, it didn’t… yet, it came at a price. A price too heavy to pay, but one that was paid anyways. It came at the cost of the brilliant mind’s life. A heroic sacrifice that was to be remembered for generations, for sure.
Yet because of that, Sonic vanished.
Shadow didn’t like thinking about it. He didn’t like thinking about any of this. He shook away the thoughts that plagued at his mind, focusing in the island that was coming into view as he sat upon the wings of a biplane that didn’t belong to him or its current pilot. He glanced at said pilot, and she only half-glanced back. No words were shared between this exchange and the touchdown of the plane to the beach.
“You’re sure he’s here?” Shadow reiterated the question he had for Amy before they departed, and she solemnly nodded, gazing off into the brush of the forest beyond. “If he’s anywhere right now… it’s Westside Island.” she said, hopping out of the plane as her eyes drifted to her feet that found themselves approaching Shadow timidly. Without force or excitement, she took Shadow’s hand in a firm yet considerate grip, hesitating to meet his eyes. “Please… bring him back.” she mumbled, her voice wavering.
Shadow only squeezes her hand back and nods, prompting Amy to let go and allow him to proceed on his way. She sits on the sand and hugs her knees, leaning against the biplane she hopes to Chaos her measly flying did justice. It was not hers, after all, and she cried quietly to herself.
Shadow took his time traversing through the brush of the forest, wildlife scattering about as his presence startled them. Save for a few curious flickies, which flew away only to land on branches nearby to observe him carefully and with wonder. Shadow pauses to acknowledge them kindly before continuing onwards. He let himself think again.
Shadow thought about the life that was lost that day, and how it affected him in a way he wished it hadn’t. The two of them weren’t terribly close, but they did spend time together. While Shadow was indeed going to miss those moments, the thing that troubled him most of all was the manner in which they had parted for the final time. As he sat once again in the familiar embrace of a claustrophobic pod, begging the kid not to do it, those blue eyes of a young soul from beyond the glass stared back at him, smiling tragically as they accepted their fate. An experience he wished to never feel again, and yet…
Shadow didn’t realize his head was pounding, his breath hitching the longer such imagery taunted him. He felt himself grasp at his chest, almost struggling to exhale. He had stopped walking, and it wasn't until he was interrupted by a concerned flicky did he realize he was trembling. It chirped with worry, fluttering in front of Shadow frantically as if it was asking him if he was OK.
Extending a shaky finger, Shadow provided a perch for the sweet thing to plant itself on, and he found himself giving it an assuring smile. “…I’m okay. Thanks.” he whispered, seemingly calming the flicky’s nerves and his own.
“What are you doing here?”
A sudden familiar voice. Automatically, Shadow knew who it was. Who else could it be? He turned his head while not allowing for his extended hand to budge to see Sonic stumble upon him from behind the brush, looking displeased with his presence. “Sonic… everyone is looking for you.” replied the darker hedgehog sternly, though not with contempt. Sonic grimaced. “I don’t want to be found right now, so… please leave?”
The figure speaking was Sonic, but what Shadow was hearing… that wasn’t Sonic at all. He would normally make some witty remark or at least try to pretend to be in a good mood— but no. This Sonic the Hedgehog wasn’t planning on being a joke today. It was almost scary how visibly upset he looked… that’s not Sonic, kept thinking Shadow repeatedly.
But, Shadow understood… he understood what Sonic was going through, after all. Shadow wasn’t about to do anything that would cause Sonic to break again. He was going to approach this calmly, as he wanted one to approach him (that is, if he ever wanted to be approached at all. Which he didn’t, of course).
“…Why don’t we talk?” he offers gently, using the hand he had previously extended for the flicky (which had flown off to a nearby branch) to reach out to Sonic.
“Not interested right now, faker. Go away.” Sonic snaps coldly in spite of his use of the normally lighthearted nickname, glaring at Shadow unkindly before speeding off in the direction he was heading. Not giving up and wasting no time, Shadow rolled after him. “It’s better for you if you do, you know.” he barely shouts upon coming up next to Sonic, who skids to a halt to slow his opponent down before taking off in a different direction. “I already said I’m not interested!” replies Sonic, becoming irritated just as fast as he moved. Shadow managed to regroup himself and join Sonic’s side in no time, pulling forward ahead just a little in order to resort to a drastic measure and kick his foot out to trip the blue blur. It wasn’t a pleasant fall— he yelped upon first impact, continuing to roll down a small hill for a while before finally coming to a stop near the bottom.
“What the hell—!!!”
“Sonic! Calm down!” Shadow finally yells, standing over him just enough to prevent him from getting up.
“Go away!! I’m not going to say it again!!” shouts the grounded hedgehog, tears becoming very swiftly evident in those eyes. “You don’t—”
Without thinking, Shadow slapped him. The clearing fell silent.
Angered with himself over what he had done, Shadow sighs. “…I’m sorry. I’m just… as much as it irks me to say, I want to help.” he tries explaining, before giving up on both the conversation and his objective. “…I was a fool to think I could get through to Sonic the Hedgehog, of all Mobians.”
Shadow began walking away, dusting himself off as he did so. “Come back to us when you’re ready. We won’t force you anymore.”
And it seemed that was going to be it, until…
A grasp on his arm, holding him in place. A grasp that had changed its mind, asking Shadow not to go after all. Sonic himself said nothing, he just remained quiet until the other hedgehog turned to look at him.
“…I know… somewhere we can go. To talk, I mean…”
———
They had to traverse through some more of Westside Island’s woods in order to get to the spot. Sonic led the way, as he often did, but there was no energy to his step. Shadow had noticed that instead of an upright, happy-go-lucky position with a skip, Sonic moved considerably slower. He was taking his time, his shoulders hunched a little, and he said absolutely nothing during the whole walk, save for some short greetings to eager and worried wildlife.
The thing that Shadow had failed to notice until now, however, was how lifeless his expression was. There wasn’t any eager shimmer in his eyes, in fact, there wasn’t any shimmer at all. His expression was blank, but he didn’t seem to understand that himself. He looked confused when Shadow gave him unnerved eyes, and shrugged it off when he wouldn’t say anything to him about it.
They finally reached it— another clearing. It was bustling, green, and beautiful, with a clear view of the ocean and a loop formation just beyond the field. Due to it being enclosed by square hills and woods, it felt like a massive secret escape. Yet at the same time, it was very empty and quiet. Though Shadow had never been here before, he could tell this area wasn’t normally so somber like this. It was as if the island itself was mourning a loss, but was pretending like nothing had happened, trying to go about life as it always had.
Sonic’s expression changed for the first time. He was visibly more pained, staring at the area as many thoughts appeared to race through his mind. He took a deep, shaky breath, walking forward a little ways more to a log that sat overlooking the scenery. He didn’t need to playfully pat the seat beside him to beckon Shadow, as he knew this is where Sonic wanted to talk to him. He sat down carefully, as if not to disturb the log, and there was silence for a while.
Shadow didn’t know how to talk to people in situations like these. He had never really done so, because it never really happened. Sonic’s vast friend group never saw much permanent loss, even during the Metal Virus. Sonic had mentioned companions that he met during his journeys that he had lost along the way (he talked a lot about a certain Chip), but the most that garnered from him was a sad expression. Never anything ongoing like this. Though, considering this event just happened recently… maybe Shadow wasn’t sure how Sonic handled losing brief companions. Maybe he moved on quickly, maybe he mourned a while. If Chip had left such an impact despite their short time together, maybe Sonic was bad with handling loss in general. Maybe he did become somebody different after losing Chip. Maybe he reacted differently each time. If he often mentioned missing a sword that he met on one of his adventures… then Sonic the Hedgehog was someone really bad with dealing with such realities. There really was a lot about him that Shadow didn’t know.
One thing’s for sure, though. The loss of your own little brother isn’t something you’d get over quickly. So, as someone who’s experienced with an equally as devastating loss, Shadow felt compelled to help him in any way he could. As much as the two bickered and fought… seeing Sonic like this deeply pained Shadow’s heart. He needed to fix it at any cost. So he opened his mouth to speak.
“…You must be feeling a lot right now, but don’t know how to express it.” Shadow states, trying to call back on his own feelings. Sonic gave him a weird look. “…Chaos, I don’t like this. This isn’t you, trying to be all…”
“Ignore that for a second, will you? I know opening up is hard. Take it from me.”
Sonic snickered at that slightly, but it wasn’t a sign of him feeling better. It was almost in a mocking manner, and though Shadow was annoyed, he figured Sonic was only trying to push him away out of fear of opening up. So he persisted.
“How about you try telling me about that mess inside your heart. And, take me seriously. You clearly don’t plan on playing any jokes today, so…”
Sonic doesn’t snap back at him rudely, but surprisingly sighs and turns his attention back to the fields ahead. “Well, I feel like shit.” he begins. “I can’t identify every single thing I’m feeling, but… I’m, uh, just really confused. A little scared? And… sad, of course, but also…” he looks at his hands, before his face falls into them. “Fuck. I just… I don’t know what to do, Shads.”
He was letting down that barrier. Shadow had to brace himself for a more emotionally vulnerable Sonic, something he wasn’t quite ready to see.
“…I get it. You’re not used to losing somebody so precious. I mean… you’ve lost some good people, but this is… on a whole other level for you, isn’t it?”
Sonic nods. Shadow continues, rubbing his partner’s back. “You’re not going to get over it quickly. In fact, I’ll give it to you straight. I don’t think you’re ever going to get over it. I’m… still not over Maria. I had to… relive… everything related to that when I parted with your brother back up on that ship. And, you’re going to experience a lot of reminders too.”
Alongside being saddened that this loss had affected Shadow just as much as himself, the blue hedgehog looked scared, and in denial. He didn’t want more reminders. He didn’t like that Shadow was telling them they were inevitable, and that broke the heart of the Ultimate Lifeform. He placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, and Sonic appeared to relax at that. “Reminders suck. Yet… the longer you live through it, the more you’ll learn from it. It’s not gonna hurt any less, but it’s effects are going to last shorter. That’s the most honest I can be about it.”
Sonic thought on his words for a second, hearing them clearly. He began to speak, and what he said seemed to contradict what he felt at first. “…Did I tell you this was the spot where he and I first met?”
Shadow’s heart dropped. He looked around the place, and suddenly, it made sense why Sonic would want to come here, even though it was a massive reminder. By taking Shadow to such a sacred spot in light of recent events, it proved that he really was the one Sonic trusted the most to talk to about this. That’s it, isn’t it? Shadow asked him that in his mind.
In an overall more timid yet open voice, Sonic elaborated. “I helped him out one day, saved him from an unpleasant experience he was suffering, and… as I was speeding along, I saw him follow me… down this very path. And…”
Sonic was half-assing a smile, brushing away tears as he reminisced with his shaky voice. “I didn’t know it then, but… that silly little fox was gonna be my silly little brother… and…”
Shadow held onto his hand before Sonic began to panic. Finding security, Sonic was able to go on for a bit longer. “There’s so many things I regret… I wish I was there for him more, but I wish I could have given him a proper childhood instead of… letting him get caught up in this dangerous mess that follows me wherever I go… because, maybe he’d still be here? But I… I…”
A comforting squeeze to his hand. “…I get it. I have a lot of things I regret too, with Maria… you also wish it was you instead of him, right?” his voice cracked slightly, and a nodding Sonic was fighting back sobs for as long as he could until he physically couldn’t any longer.
When he broke down, he screamed. Just like he did when he first found out who’s life was lost that day.
“I miss him so much, Shads…!!! I haven’t felt the same, and I’m scared I’ll be like this forever!! I just… I want him back!! It’s so unfair!!”
Sonic's head fell to his hands as he grasped at it, holding onto it as if it ached like death. Tears were streaming down his face, and the trembling Shadow didn’t even register that he was moving in closer for something.
That thing was holding onto Sonic, hugging him, pulling him close. A hug that promised him he wasn’t going to let go until he was ready, one that squeezed him ever tighter. The sobbing hedgehog clung to him desperately, setting free those tangled emotions he had kept to himself for too long. “It’s my fault, isn’t it?! I knew I was going to get him killed one day!! I’m going to blame myself forever, it hurts so much..!!”
Sonic never cried, but when he did, the world around him changed and reacted to it. The wind blew a little stronger, rustling the nearby trees, and Shadow felt a detached fern grace across his leg. He only held onto him tighter as he screamed those words. Words of self-hate and self-blame, words that weren’t true, but were a result of thoughts of guilt. Shadow knew it all too well. He still hates himself for not being able to save Maria, and he hates himself for not being able to bring Sonic’s little brother back. He began to cry to himself too, managing to let out his own messy emotions while still acting as security for the one who was losing it even more. It wasn’t about Shadow’s feelings today, but still, he had to get them out sometime.
They remained this way for a good 3 minutes.
Sonic eventually calmed, and Shadow felt he was okay with being let go now. Carefully, he did, but his hands only drifted down to Sonic’s arms. Their eyes met nervously, and Sonic looked embarrassed over what he had done.
“Feel better?” inquired Shadow with a relieved expression. Sonic gifted him with a little smile. “…Yeah. I do, actually.” he mumbled between hiccups and sputters. He spent a while wiping at his face, but gave up when he noticed he was only making himself messier.
“Sonic… you don’t have to deal with this alone. There are a lot of people who really want to see you right now, hoping to know if you’re okay. A lot of people want to help…” Shadow says, as he thinks about Amy.
The blue blur once again nodded, his still trembling hands moving to hold Shadow’s. “Yeah… I think… that’d be good. I see that now… um… thank you.” he says in a voice that was mixed in with whispers.
“You’re not alone. You hear me?”
“Yeah… I’m… not alone. I hear ya, Shads.”
As their foreheads fell to rest lovingly against each other, there was another moment of silence, but it wasn’t the troubling and sad kind. It was a peaceful silence, where the setting around them had adapted to a more positive air and began to behave as such as well. The songs of flickies could now be heard. The two hedgehogs smiled happily at each other, until Sonic (who was still crying just a little) broke the moment with a stupid remark.
“Wow… I can’t believe Shadow the Hedgehog of all Mobians hugged me. Wow…” Sonic laughed in between cries, finding the whole thing a little too humorous, but maybe that was his in-the-moment scattered brain.
“Shut up. It’s not like it’s a secret between us, what we are… that’s something only everybody else doesn’t know.” Shadow rolls his eyes playfully, and Sonic giggled a little more.
“Yeah, I know… ahahah…”
Music to Shadow’s ears.
———
The walk back was filled with idle chatting. Nothing too spectacular or deep, just small topics. And that was okay.
When they arrived on the beach where Shadow had arrived, they found Amy asleep against a painfully familiar biplane for Sonic. He didn’t have much time to ponder it, though, as she had quickly woken up to see that a dear figure in her life had returned. “Sonic…!!!” she exclaimed and began crying, running to hug him as she wept into his chest. “I was so worried… I was so worriiiiied!!!”
“I know, I know, Ames. I’m sorry…” he smiles, patting her head and hugging her equally close. “I’m here now, and I’m not gonna leave…”
Amy sniffles, looking up at Sonic who warmly smiles down upon her. They share a knowing look as the presence of the biplane became harder to ignore. But Sonic just ruffles her quills, silently letting her know he’s going to be okay.
Sonic and Shadow take their places on opposite wings as the plane departs an island that will forever stand as a sentimental reminder of the young hero who once lived there. The bereaved older brother looks back for a moment, a hint of that dark expression he was first seen wearing crossing his face yet again. Yet, there was an affectionate shimmer in his eyes this time, a shimmer that also let Shadow know Sonic was going to be okay, and not to worry.
The darker hedgehog gives Sonic another smile when they meet eyes again, and in return, he was gifted a characteristic thumbs up. Following this, Sonic looks ahead, and though his face still showed evidence of brokenness and hurt, he decided to put on a little more hopeful look.
There was still one last someone he had to assure, and he found himself saying a name that he had been afraid to say for so long.
“Tails, I’m going to be okay.”