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It was a slow day at Namjoon's CD shop. Namjoon himself was off probably doing something disgustingly cheesy with his boyfriend; who fucking knows anymore? Hoseok was sitting behind the counter as some Mariah Carey song softly played through the empty store.
He looked up from the bollywood movie he was watching just when the main guy character started crying out of extreme heartbreak as the bell above the store's front door rang. Hoseok expected to see one of their regulars, like that emo kid, Jeongguk, that often came in to purchase Simple Plan CDs and mope about his miserable life. ("I don't want to be like my dad." "Uh huh, that'll be $10.99, please.") Instead, he found a boy with brightly dyed hair and ripped skinny jeans wandering towards the pop section. He had fine features and an ass to kill for. Hoseok would have definitely killed for a chance to just touch it.
ALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHT, Hoseok's mind came to life once he noticed how fiiiiiiiiiine this guy was, act natural, Hobi, he's just another customer; he just happens to also be attractive as fuck.
He tried to go back to focusing on his movie, but he just wasn't able to connect to the next musical number as he became hyperaware of the pretty boy rifling through a selection of CDs that usually only attracted 12-year-old girls and once a hairy guy that looked like he was about 60. He seemed to be looking for something specific, so, instead of looking like a dumbshit, Hoseok got up to go ask if he wanted any help. However, as he approached the specimen and gained his attention, he froze under his gaze.
All he could think was: dayum, your face is nice to look at, can I put my mouth on it? Oh my god, he's waiting, he's looking at you funny, Hoseok, SAY SOMETHING!
"I like the shape of your eyes", Hoseok half-whispered. He shut his eyes, what the shit did you just say?
"Thank you!" Hoseok opened his eyes again only to see a wide smile and crescent eyes. He didn't even look weirded out.
He stared at the grinning guy for a little longer before clearing his throat and looking away, busying himself with rearranging a few CDs just by the stack the cute boy was looking through.
"So, do you, uh, need any help?" He attempted to keep his tone c00L and c@$u@L as the other guy went back to looking through CDs.
"Yeah, actually, do you have One Direction's second album, Take Me Home: Yearbook Edition?" Hoseok didn't bat an eyelash before pirouetting his way down a couple of shelves, grabbing a dark coloured CD and spun his way back to the boy's side.
"Here it is", Hoseok smiled brightly at the stranger, his sick ballet skills helped him regain his composure and confidence. The boy took the album from his hands with a polite 'thank you' and Hoseok tipped his tortilla hat (as seen in Despicable Me 2).
Hoseok laid down on the floor (carefully balancing his tortilla hat) and did the worm until he was behind the counter and then he sprung back up into a standing position as he rung up the amount the cute boy had to pay. The boy was slightly intimidated by Hoseok's dope ass dance skillzz but simultaneously incredibly impressed. Mainly impressed.
He was brought back to earth when Hoseok told him the price. He then put the album down on the counter awkwardly and pat his pockets in search of his wallet.
Oh, shitty fuck.
"You're not going to believe this", the nameless boy laughed breathily, "but I left my wallet at home."
"Ah, that's fine, ...?" Hoseok paused and hoped that the other boy would pick up what he was putting down. C'mon, cutie, I need a name.
"Taehyung", the beautiful creature spoke despite his slight embarrassment and Hoseok could feel his soul leaving for heaven. Taehyung. Nice name, sounds nice. Probably sounds even better when I'm screaming it in bed. Woah, there, Hoseok, settle down a bit.
"It's okay, Taehyung, I'll take care of it this time", he pressed a few keys on the register and looked up to smile at Taehyung, "but next time, be more careful. Okay?"
OH MY GOD, PLEASE LET THERE BE A NEXT TIME.
"Yeah", Taehyung breathed before shyly picking the album back up, he broke off a bit of tortilla and dipped it in guacamole from Hoseok's hat before continuing, "of course. Thank you so much, I promise I'll pay you back, Mr. Shop-Worker-Guy."
He left after nearly tripping over the life-size cardboard cutout of Selena Gomez set up beside the door.
Hoseok, as if he was Jeongguk, sat back down on his stool, his head in his hands and guacamole spilling from the side of his tortilla hat. Maybe that's all he was the Taehyung the stranger, just another Mr. Shop-Worker-Guy.
-
Not a week or a month or a year later, but a day later, yeah, only a day later, Hoseok heard the bell chime as he sat in the backroom. He was on his yoga mat, stretching. That's what he did during breaks. He stretched. On his yoga mat. It made him more powerful. However, his stretching paused when he heard the familiar voice of a certain bootylicious Taehyung from the front room. He didn't bother to change out of his yoga pants as he rushed out of the back, coming out only to see the same cute boy from the day before talking to another employee, Jimin. Jimin's usual 80's themed attire really contrasted Taehyung's more simple way of dressing, save for his Grumpy Cat T-shirt that Hoseok made a mental note to buy one for himself at some point.
"JIMIN, IT'S YOUR BREAK TIME! SWAP WITH ME", Hoseok screeched, speed walking to the space they were standing in, clenching his buns of steel to gain speed.
Jimin looked away from Pretty-Boy Taehyung to give Hoseok a questioning look over the collar of his neon green windbreaker, "but my break isn't for another 40 minutes?"
"GO HAVE A BREAK, TROOPER, YOU'VE BEEN GREAT", Hoseok gave him a pointed look that left Jimin shrugging and moonwalking out of the room.
Hoseok then turned again to face Taehyung with a winning smile plastered over his face, he was just too smooth.
"Hello, Mr. Shop-Worker-Guy", Taehyung found himself grinning at the other, ignoring the abrupt entrance. That Jimin guy was pretty fun, though, he was educating Taehyung on Spice Girls and how they compared to Destiny's Child, but Taehyung had to admit that the colour of his clothes were blinding, even through his oversized sunglasses.
"Hoseok."
"What?"
"My name", the shop guy spoke, fiddling with the sleeve of his sponge bob patterned button-up shirt, "is Hoseok."
Taehyung nodded, smiling. That name so suited him, he was cute and his name was cute and Taehyung wondered for a second as to whether Hoseok was the type of guy that would listen to Taylor Swift with him in the car without complaining.
"Hi Hoseok."
Hoseok had to grab a nearby shelf to steady himself. WOW, OKAY, his mind was racing, WHY DOES MY NAME SOUND SO GOOD WHEN HE SAYS IT??? This is fate.
Hoseok cleared his throat and shifted his hands into his pockets, with his slouched posture, he attempted to seem all apathetic like. Okay, Hoseok, chill out, okay? c00L and c@$u@L, remember?
"Do you need any assistance?" His voice came out an octave higher than usual.
"I do!" Taehyung shot him another grin. Man, he had no idea what he was doing to him. Hoseok felt like someone had taken his heart and thrown it into that TV show, Jackass. It was beating in his ears when Taehyung came dangerously close to him, trying to eye some of the CDs situated on the shelf by Hoseok's head.
"I'm after Justin Bieber's first album, my copy got stepped on and then a buffalo ate the remains", Taehyung shrugged, that's just life; you win some, you lose some. What Taehyung hoped to 'win' in this situation was the cute dude at the CD shop named Hoseok's hand in marriage.
"Yeah, no problems, I love that album", Hoseok looked around the shelves for a bit. Are you happy, Justin? Hoseok seriously had to see someone about the voices in his head, especially since they were telepathically directed to a Canadian music star currently residing in the USA, the stranger I've met a total of two times that I plan on someday starting a family with likes your music, I hope I did you proud.
"Hm... looks like I can't find a copy", Hoseok hummed thoughtfully and a single tear rolled down Taehyung's face as One Less Lonely Girl played in the distance.
"But, wait!" Hoseok grabbed Taehyung's attention and faced him, his hands came up to grip the latter's shoulders.
His left hand came up to the side of his head, brushing his ear before pulling away from him with a CD case in his hand.
"It was behind your ear", Hoseok threw a handful of glitter into the air and bowed when Taehyunf began to applaud enthusiastically. Good-looking and a magician, Tae thought to himself, this guy was more perf than a twelvie posting selfies on Instagram. *Sparkly emoji*.
"Oh my god, that was so cool", he grabbed the CD from Hoseok's hand and did a little jumpy thingy that looked kinda weird but Hoseok's brain was like, hey, that's some cute shit.
"It was nothing", Hoseok blushed like the female protagonist in a shoujo manga, "come on, I'll get you sorted."
They went over to the register, Jimble Jams was at the doorway to the backroom, head sticking out slightly, spying on them. As the Mission Impossible theme played in his head, he was able to conclude that Hoseok definitely had a crush on this customer. I mean, his face was all red and judging by the way he almost clumsily kicked over the umbrella stand, he might as well have had 'I'm in love' written in Sharpie on his forehead (he didn't, but he did have a flower Jimin drew there while he was napping in the break room). Jimin resigned to sitting back down, investigation complete. He was just glad he didn't knock over the umbrella stand after all, his weed stash was in there and he did not need a Good Samaritan like Hoseok finding his drugs. His 420 life was a secret to the outside world. Nobody needed to know he did weed, nor did they need to know his bong was shaped like a dick.
While paying, Taehyung handed over double the amount charged.
"H uh??"
Taehyung grinned, "for yesterday." His cheeks were a little rosy, they reminded Hoseok of those cherub baby thingos you saw in paintings and whatnot. Except his bum wasn't bare. What a shame.
"Oh, okay, that's cool", Hoseok tried not to squeak as his thumb almost shattered from getting stuck in the register when he closed the drawer. "Thank you, Taehyung, see you later" hopefully.
"Yeah", Taehyung seemed reluctant, fiddling with the Sonic shaped pendant around his neck, "I guess I will."
He almost ran out of the store.
Well, that was oddly pleasant, Hoseok's thoughts took control again, he smelled nice. Like stir fry.
He was going to return to the backroom and not emerge until the cute, smiley boy that was Taehyung came back wearing a suit of armour and riding a white horse to sweep him off his feet and hopefully marry him in some meadow somewhere before riding off into the sunset. But he noticed a little slip of paper sitting on the counter where Tae's hands were a minute ago.
He reached forward, his heart was thumping louder than the sound of Namjoon and his boyfriend doing the do in their bedroom upstairs. He opened the slip of paper, assuming it said something like 'do you like me' or 'I think you're cute' or even a line of digits, because that's what happened in movies and books and TV shows, right? Instead, it read 'Which Beyoncé song do you favour from this list?' Underneath the question was a column of little boxes, next to each one a Beyoncé song. Hoseok assumed he had to tick one and return it to Taehyung as some sort of test. What he was testing, Hoseok didn't even think about. Which Beyoncé was the best on this list? There was Crazy in Love, Yoncé/Partition, Countdown, Run the World, Halo, Drunk in Love, Flawless, Irreplaceable and Love on Top. Hoseok sighed deeply and let himself deflate like a bouncy castle after a six-year-old's birthday party. This decision was going to be tough.
-
It was also a decision Hoseok had not made yet by the time the only person on Hoseok's mind besides Captain Crunch returned to their shop. Hoseok was sitting behind the counter with Namjoon on the stool next to him. They were deep in conversation about the logistics of building an escalator out of churros when the bell about the door did the dingly-dingle-doo.
Today, Taehyung didn't seem interested in any of the CD's they had on display, making a beeline towards the counter. He was wearing a beanie that had 'HOE$' stitched onto it and Hoseok found it to be nothing but endearing.
"Hello, can I help y-"
"Namjoon, I got this", Hoseok slapped the taller dude in the chest with the back of his hand, ignoring the soft 'oomf' that followed.
"Damn, aight, you been so pushy lately, gosh", with one last glance at the customer, Namjoon disappeared in a puff of smoke, glitter and homosexuality.
Hoseok stood up from his chair, squaring his shoulder to look into the other's eyes. Taehyung looked so determined and serious, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.
"Did you get my note?"
"I did."
"Can I have it back?"
That was when Hoseok crumbled. He fell to his knees and grasped at the counter for balance. Taehyung stepped back slightly with wide eyes and a whispered 'whaaat the fuck?' The offending piece of paper fluttered down from where Hoseok threw it and Taehyung opened it to find he hadn't ticked any of the boxes.
"No!" Hoseok was close to crying, he thrashed his legs around like a child having a tantrum, which is kind of what was happening. "It's not fair, Taehyung! It's reALLY NOT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE? IT'S LIKE ASKING A MOTHER TO CHOOSE A FAVOURITE CHILD, IT'S JUST TORTURE. I WAS GONNA SAY LOVE ON TOP BUT DAMNIT YONCÉ/PARTITION IS MY JAM AND CRAZY IN LOVE IS ALL I CARE ABOUT BUT OHMY GODDJ,,,"
Hoseok was now in tears, lying facedown, grieving. He couldn't even answer the question and pass Taehyung's mysterious quiz. Namjoon emerged again, he quietly grabbed a mop from the closet and stood by the door, silently mopping up Hoseok's flowing river of tears to avoid damaging the floorboards and products.
Hoseok only looked up when he felt Taehyung crouch in front of him and place a hand on his shoulder. He choked back sobs and had a bit of snot dripping from his nose and Taehyung had never seen a sight more beautiful.
"Congratulations, Hoseok from the CD shop", Taehyung grinned his big, cute, dumb smile, "you are correct."
Hoseok wasn't crying anymore, he was just confused. "Wh"
"Well, if you had chosen one above the rest like it was nothing... then that's just not real. Nobody does that. Nobody has a favourite Beyoncé song. I wouldn't have trusted you. And if you didn't choose any because you didn't like any of them, then I would have had to move across the globe to make sure I wasn't anywhere near a heathen like you. But your answer", he went on, gently patting the middle of Hoseok's face, "was perfect; my thoughts exactly."
Hoseok sniffed, "you're a lot more evil than you look. I've been thinking about that question so much that I couldn't function properly for two days." This made Taehyung laugh. "No, really, I tried to microwave my alarm clock. My landlady was so mad at me because I stuffed three and a half pancakes into an envelope and tried to pay the rent with it."
Taehyung didn't stop grinning as he pulled Hoseok up so he wasn't snivelling in a puddle of his own tears anymore.
"Well, now you have me to make sure you don't fuck up and kill yourself by accident now."
Hoseok's eyes widened after a pause. "Wait, does that mean-"
He was cut off by Taehyung getting on one knee and pulling out something shiny from his pocket. It was a ring pop, Hoseok fucking loved ring pops.
"Will you, Hoseok, be the Jay-Z to my Bey? I mean like, we've met like three times and I could be a maniac, but I'm a cute maniac, so yeah."
Oh my god, Hoseok thought, this is all so sudden, I really didn't see this coming. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I WANT TO WEAR THAT RING POP. I WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND. I WANT TO WEAR THAT RING POP AND USE THAT HAND TO HOLD HIS HAND.
"YES."
"To what? Yes, I'm a maniac or yes, I'll be your bae."
"Little bit of the former, lots of the latter."
"Cool."
And with that, Hoseok did wear the ring pop, and he did hold Taehyung's hand, and they did ride off into the sunset on a white horse.
Namjoon sighed, "that bitch just skipped out on half his shift."