Archive of Our Own

It's funny, really, how the universe works in mysterious ways.

Sapnap thinks he's either going to burst out in a maniacal laugh or scream and pull his hair out because it happened again.

The floors have been swept; the dishes have been washed; the laundry he left in the dryer has been neatly folded and placed back in their respective drawers. Hell, they even restocked his once almost empty fridge and now the door can barely close.

But the worst part of it all is the little sticky notes they leave on the table.

When it first happened, the sticky note was this horrendous neon green and the words were scribbled in a black sharpie.

The second time, the sticky note had colours galore and the writer seemed far too friendly for someone who just broke into someone else's home.

By the time the third person broke into his home (and left the worst sticky note yet), Sapnap was less so worried for his safety and more so confused because what sort of psycho boss makes their employees break into someone’s apartment? And why do they seem so chill about it?

Sapnap sighs, backtracking to his living room. There on his rarely used dining table lies another sticky note. This time the colour is baby blue and this person by far has the nicest handwriting. Their penmanship screams rich kid and Sapnap can't help but wonder what they have to say about their boss forcing them to clean a stranger's house and buy them groceries.

Instead of words of confusion and zest and plain old amusement, words that Sapnap can expect by now, he gets this on a baby blue sticky note:

I'll be waiting for you tomorrow. Come home as soon as possible.

Oh.

Oh no.

That has to be from the so called "boss", right? The person who's been behind these nice but creepy and suspicious actions?

He's not ready for this at all. What is he supposed to say? Ideally he'd want to say something along the lines of hey, thank you for saving me a ton of money, really appreciate it, but it's actually scaring me shitless. Can you tell me what brought this on?, but there's a good chance he'll fumble and look like an idiot.

Okay, he is an idiot, but that's besides the point.

After half an hour of wallowing in trepidation and being absolutely ridden with anxiety, Sapnap finally comes up with a foolproof plan that involves zero confrontation and leaves both parties somewhat satisfied.

With full and complete confidence in his plan, Sapnap flips over the blue sticky note and pulls out a pencil.

He goes to sleep assured of himself for the first time in weeks.

"Pleasepleasepleaseplease," Sapnap repeatedly whispered as he trekked down the hallway, his hands clasped together tightly.

Unsurprisingly, the confidence he had last night faded away in his sleep and when he woke up, the only thing he could think about was that dumb, blue sticky note.

The sticky note infested his thoughts and shut down all his systems, except the nervous system which became only more nervous. He was so out of it that he walked right into the professor’s desk with a full classroom watching.

But that's all in the past. Sapnap asked all of his teachers if they needed help with anything and he offered to work extra hours and close the store.

He usually comes home around five. It's eight o'clock on the dot.

Hopefully, whoever this person is listened to the advice he put on the sticky note and left. Hopefully, Sapnap will walk into his humble abode and find no one but himself inside.

His hands tremble as he fumbles with his key. Fuck, he's freaking himself out and he knows this, he knows, but that doesn't help the fact that there's a possibility he could meet his demise the moment he steps inside.

Let me take a win today, Sapnap pleads to the stars above, finally fitting the key in the lock. He slowly twists the knob, terrified of what— of who might be waiting for him on the other side.

When he pushes the door open, he braces for the worst. He steels his nerves, ready to see his apartment showered in blood, bodies with detached heads littering his wooden floors. He's been mentally preparing himself all day. He can do this, he can do this, he can—

Nothing.

Well, not nothing nothing. He sees his couch and the empty Krave box he was too lazy to throw out on his kitchen countertop and the sticky note resting exactly where he left it on the table and he thinks, oh. That's disappointing.

Wait, what? Disappointing? He wants to slap himself for thinking that, but is it really his fault for wanting a bit more excitement to his life? Not that having a stranger order their employees to clean his flat for reasons unknown doesn't get his adrenaline going enough. It does. But to come face to face with his stalker guardian angel and ask why they're doing this?

Now wouldn't that be something.

He sighs, the built-up anxiety from earlier washing away. What is he even thinking? If he's lucky, maybe this whole thing will stop. As nice as it was to come home to a clean house and a packed fridge, no sane person would be comfortable with some stranger poking around their home.

A thick blanket of serenity covers him from head to toe as he stands still, staring directly at his bathroom door at the end of the hallway.

The blanket is quickly ripped off, however, because the light in the bathroom is on. He can see the light seeping out from underneath the door. It's definitely on.

Did I leave it on?

Sapnap always checks if all the lights are turned off before he leaves— electricity bills are expensive for people who work at cafés and have terrible landlords. There's no way he left the light on.

When the door knob starts turning, Sapnap can't find it in himself to be shocked. It rotates and rotates and he does nothing but stare. Weirdly enough, his heart isn't thumping so loud that anyone in a five meter radius can hear it. Instead, it’s deathly silent and he thinks it may have stopped beating altogether.

What the fuck. Sapnap blinks once, twice, three times at the very shirtless man who just exited his bathroom. What the actual fuck.

"Oh, you're finally back. Sorry, I took a shower." The shirtless man smiles and laughs and he is quite possibly the most beautiful person Sapnap's ever seen in his life, even though he broke into his apartment.

Sapnap can't think of anything to say. He just stays quiet, watching as the guy— your stalker, a voice inside his head reminds him— grabs a shirt from on top of the sink and puts it on.

"'Hey look, I'll be coming home late and I really don't want to meet you, so I strongly suggest you leave my home and leave me alone because as much as I am thankful for your kind actions, I am really creeped out,'" his stalker repeats word for word what Sapnap wrote on the sticky note, walking towards the table and sitting on it.

Sapnap swallows his spit as he watches him turn the sticky note into a crumpled piece of paper.

"Did you really think I'd leave?" his stalker asks, frowning.

"I hoped you would." Sapnap laughs nervously, secretly planning his best escape route.

"So I really do make you uncomfortable?"

The guy's genuine sad expression makes Sapnap feel guilty and confused. Why does this guy who he's never seen in his life care so much about him? "Well, uh, I guess not right now? But, like, you did break into my home, dude. Who even are you?"

"Does George sound familiar to you?" George says his own name as if it's the name of a God all while looking at him with an expectant look in his eyes.

With a sudden burst of newfound confidence, Sapnap scoffs and furrows his eyebrows. "I think every British guy and their grandpa's name is George."

"That's actually really stereotypical of you and frankly quite rude! You only think that because you're the only person in the world named Sapnap," George scoffs, not even trying to hide the little amused smirk on his face, like he has Sapnap right where he wants him or something.

Alright, it's time for George, aka Mr. Stalker to leave before Sapnap gets too comfortable with him and his pretty face.

"Yeah, well, it's time for you and your common name to get out of my unique name household. You've overstayed your welcome, so shoo." Sapnap points to the open door which is more than ready for George to walk through it.

George takes a while to respond, making Sapnap nervous because what will happen if he makes him mad? "Uh, or—"

"No, I'm going, I'm going." George hops off the table, his hand brushing against Sapnap's as he walks past him. "I can't believe you don't remember me. But just know this won't be the last of me, so don't be scared anymore, 'kay?"

Mouth agape, Sapnap shrieks, "no, no, this is going to be the last of you!" while George laughs (cackles, really) and walks off, waving.

Sapnap slept with his face down in his pillow that night, secretly hoping it would suffocate him in his sleep.

"H- Hello?"

Sapnap rubs his eyes, blinking at the customer in front of him, confused, before he straightens up. "I’m sorry, could you repeat that?"

"A slice of Funfetti cake and a large mocha, please? You can put Elkie on the cup."

"Alright, that’ll be $6.50. You can just tap right there and we'll call your name when your order is ready. Thank you!" Sapnap hands over the receipt, sighing in relief. His shoulders slump and he fights the urge to run into the kitchen and beg someone to take his place.

He's been working here for almost two years now and he's never worked at the register. It's not like he can't, it's just that he'd really prefer not to. But Foolish is sick (which is a very unlikely story because idiots can't get sick) and someone has to do it, so Sapnap, like the righteous man he is, took one for the team.

Basically, he overslept, came late for the first time, and since his demonic coworkers know of his inexperience and distaste, they made him do it as a punishment.

"Look alive, Sapnap!" Punz yelled from the safety of the kitchen, the kitchen Sapnap should be in instead of him. "A flash of your pearly whites and the customers are guaranteed to spend more money!"

The snorts and giggles that come after make Sapnap pout even more. Humans truly are terrible creatures and he wants nothing to do with them. Nothingnothingnothingnothingnothing—

"Hey, are you ignoring me now?"

Startled out of his depressive stupor, Sapnap looks up, panicked apologies stumbling out of his mouth without a second thought. "I'm sorry, I—"

His mouth snaps shut as fast as it opened.

"You," Sapnap says, surprised and exuding more murderous intent by the second.

"Me!" George nods, smiling all the while as he leans in closer. "What are you doing here?"

"... I work here?"

George stifles his laugh (oh god, he really is pretty) and puts his hand on the counter. "No, I mean you're always in the kitchen making the pastries, right? So why are you out here?"

"How do you know... You know what? I'm not even going to question it!" Sapnap shook his head, sounding a tiny bit maniacal. He knew he was probably disturbing the peaceful ambience, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. "I was late for the first time ever and I was sentenced to one day of working as a cashier, which is the equivalent of being sentenced to jail for ten years."

"Mm, I'm sure it is," George purred, his grin growing wider. "Your shifts over in about five minutes, right? I'll be waiting for you outside, Sappy."

George turned around to leave and he should've let him, he should've let him, but the words, "you're not gonna buy anything?" just flew out of his mouth in a desperate attempt to get the man to stay a little longer because he's lonely and sad and okay, fine, he'll admit that seeing George's pretty face spiritually heals him.

Now, Sapnap wouldn't call it sheer delight when George— the guy who broke into his home— turned back around, but he definitely wasn't mad.

"What, do you want me to? I'm not really hungry right now, but you can give me whatever." George shrugged, leaning back on the counter.

"As compensation for breaking into my home—"

"Do you have to bring that up—"

Sapnap glared at the brunet, effectively shutting him up. "Yes. Don't think it's all cool that you did some really creepy shit now just because you're hoooooomie. You're homie."

Oh fuck. He was about to call his stalker hot, caught himself, and then said something that didn't make sense in the slightest. And he repeated it for a second time.

There's a reason why Sapnap doesn't have many friends.

"I'm what now?"

"Ignore that! The strawberry turnovers are pretty good, so you can wait outside and I'll give them to you, okay?" Sapnap said, warily eyeing the other.

"Sure." George slid a ten dollar bill across the counter. "And then you'll get into my car and we can—"

"I'm not going anywhere with you and I'm definitely not getting into your sketchy car."

Long story short, Sapnap ended up getting into the car.

Don't ask how and don't ask why because he doesn't even know himself.

And now here he is, fidgeting and trying to come up with a way to banish the awkward silence that's suffocating him in the sleek black Jaguar.

George's sleek black Jaguar.

"So, uh, a Jaguar, huh? Didn't take you for a car kind of guy." Sapnap nervously laughed, looking out his window so George can't see how sweaty he is.

"Huh? Oh, I'm not. I like cats, so I bought it." George shrugged, burning holes into the back of Sapnap's turned head as he drove.

What kind of reason is that?!

"Ah, that's... nice." Sapnap struggled to be more articulate. He found that was a reoccurring theme whenever he's with George, which has only been like two times, but it's good to notice patterns early on.

"Are you into cars then, Sappy? I can buy you one if you want," George offered, acting all nonchalant as if cars were cheap. Most of them probably are for him.

"Nah. This sounds kinda sad whenever I tell people this, but I don't really have any hobbies. I mostly focus on balancing school and work," Sapnap shifted in his seat, his neck starting to hurt, "but I do like video games."

"Yeah, I know," George says, syrupy fondness in his tone. "You kept making stupid Minecraft references when we first met."

There he goes again, Sapnap cerebrates, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

It's strange. George keeps insisting they've met before, but he won't tell him when and Sapnap's pretty sure he'd remember a face like his.

Sapnap inhales, ready to unload his bucketful of questions in hopes for an answer, but he doesn't even get a word out before the car comes to an abrupt stop and scrambles all his thoughts.

"We're here," George announces, pocketing his car keys. "Let me walk you to your apartment?"

Damn it. Sapnap sighs, pushing his door open. "Who am I to turn down such a kind offer?"

They walk side by side, the only noise being Sapnap's footsteps. George's footsteps are light and practically imperceptible, which kinda worries Sapnap but doesn't really surprise him.

When they get to Sapnap's door, he is more than ready to bid George a polite farewell. "Alright, I guess this is where we part—"

"You're not gonna invite me in?"

"Huh?"

George stares at him, eyes wide and confused. Sapnap's sure he looks the same way.

"So I’m not allowed in this time?" George asks with an unfair pout.

"Wh— No! And this time? You were never allowed inside in the first place!" Sapnap spluttered, his hands waving all over the place and already almost out of breath.

An annoyed huff. "Why are you always on and off with me?"

He was so conflicted about this. But they can’t exactly be friends, can they? The guy broke into his home.

But then again, George did have good intentions! Just a bad execution.

"Fuck, okay, fine! Get in here." Sapnap opened the door wider, watching the smile form on lips that people definitely want to kiss.

(Sapnap is not one of those people, if you must know.)

"You’re sleeping on the couch," Sapnap quickly added, coughing and diverting his gaze to the very interested couch.

"So that means I can sleep over?" George gasps excitedly, almost in a mocking sense. "See, if you weren’t so caught up in the past all the time, we’d be making much more progress."

"Caught up in the—?!" Sapnap stopped himself from finishing the sentence. He’s too tired to have the same argument over and over again, so he sighs and bites his tongue and says, "yes, George, you can sleep over."

As George happily settled onto his couch, Sapnap stood there and wondered if he could get away with murdering this man by claiming it was self-defence.

"Psst."

It’s the wind. Sapnap buries himself an inch further into his blanket, desperately trying to convince him that there isn’t someone outside his window.

"Psst! C’mon, man! Wake up!"

"Dream, I hate to tell you this but your little noises aren’t going to wake him up or get us inside."

"Yeah, why the fuck did we go this way?"

Oh, well isn’t that fantastic! There isn’t just one person, there’s three people outside his window.

"Oh my god, fine! Let’s just break his window and you guys grab him if he wakes up. Ready? One, two—"

Woah, woah, woah. Break his window? Break his window?

There comes a point in everyone’s life where they stop taking the bullshit they’re given. And this is Sapnap’s moment.

"HEYDISPHFUDJOFF!"

Alright, so what the fuck was that?

The unintelligible noise sure startled them at the very least and Sapnap feels like he’s been lit on fire and kinda wishes he were.

"… Okay, so am I tripping or?"

"No, you’re fucking not!" Sapnap shouts, his nails digging into his skin. "What you are doing, however, is disturbing my sleep!"

"Ah shit, look guys, you pissed him off."

"Us? This is all your fault—"

As the three bickered, Sapnap thought about how he really needs to move. Maybe live on a small farm and spend his days lazing around on his couch—

His couch.

Suddenly, he sat up with wide eyes, turning himself around to face the intruders. "Are you guys here for George?"

"Uh… There’s no use lying now, is there?" The shortest one sighed. "Yeah. He needs to get back because secret stuff, but he’s fucking obsessed with you for some reason and would rather sleep on your couch instead."

"So we’re planning to gently carry our bossy princess back while he’s sleeping!"

"What? No, we’re bitchslapping that hoe—"

While the two argued some more, Sapnap just sat and stared at the other one. He was wearing this creepy smiley mask that Sapnap swears he’s seen before, and by the way Maskie’s staring right back, Sapnap thinks he recognized him too.

"— know what? Fuck you, Karl, I can’t believe— Are you guys having a staring contest?"

Maskie didn’t look away from him as he spoke. "Pandas?"

Oh wow, nobody’s called him that in a long time.

"H-Hi?" Sapnap waved.

"… Dream?" Karl cautiously asked, laying a hand on Dream’s shoulder.

"Yeah, no, I’m fine. Just can’t believe George didn’t tell me," Dream breathed out, albeit a bit shakily, running his hand through his hair. "Forget it. Let’s just get him and get out. Open the window."

Sapnap hesitated but opened it for them anyway. He awkwardly shuffled to the other side of his bed as they all climbed in.

The air was tense now and Sapnap was just confused because now George and Dream sound so familiar.

The moonlight poured in through the window and casted shadows upon his walls. It didn’t take long for them to come back, only this time with George on Dream’s back.

Sapnap took one last look at George’s face, painted in the light of the moon and so utterly at peace, before they silently left and closed the window and it had been as if they were never there.

There’s a strangely melancholy feeling budding deep inside his chest that this will be the last time he sees George, but why should he feel this way?

He broke into his home, after all.