Work Text:
“what are you doing?”
silence
just loud silence
the red haired lanky guy staring into the back of black wavy hair
“i’m trying to clear my mind”, “by smoking weed?”
silence again.
he sighed, walking over and taking a seat next to him.
“stan”
“kyle.”
he bit his lip.
“look, i just.. think this isn’t the right way to clear your mind”, he smiled in disbelief. “oh, so you’re like, my mum now? or a therapist? psychologist? you don’t know shit kyle.”
he spit those words out like black venom, a passive aggressive undertone sneaking it’s way in. maybe even some hurt.
silence
just big silence
the night sky was clear. no clouds, the air was good. it always was at tegridy farm.
kyle took a deep fresh breath, side eyeing stan while he just stared lost into the air, bringing the joint he just rolled two minutes ago up to his lips.
“i’m sorry”
stan stopped in his tracks.
“you’re right stan. i don’t know shit. because we- you.. you don’t talk to me. about nothing anymore.. yeah, i do not know shit. so tell me shit. tell me your shit stan.”
stan scoffed, taking a hit from the joint that was jittering between his two shaky fingers. has it suddenly gotten colder?
“i’m not going to do that kyle.”
he blew out the smoke, continuing staring into nowhere, though he could practically feel kyles eyes burning a hole into him.
it was silent again
the only thing you could hear was the joint burning and both boys breathing, stans being noticeably more heavy.
“you- you wouldn’t..”, he took a deep breath, looking down to his shoes.
“you wouldn’t care anyways. you didn’t before.. why are you now?”, “i was an asshole, and i know that, okay? i’m.. i’m sorry, i really am stan.” shaky breathing.
“but.. i care about you. so much.. a lot, i-“, he chuckled, blinking away the tears that were trying to escape his eyes.
“i can’t even express it in words.. look, you- you can insult me, i fucking deserve it dude. and i understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, okay? just.. fuck”, he sniffled now, stan now looking up to him.
his green teary eyes looked straight into worried blue ones.
“dude, are you crying? shit kyle, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you cry before”, kyle giggled.
“shut up.”
stan bit his lip
the joint stopped burning long ago now.
silence again, but it wasn’t tense.
he wiped his tears, sniffling while, this time, looking down.
yet stan couldn’t get his eyes off him.
was kyle always this pretty?
or was it just the high he was slowly getting?
“shit dude, say something..”
kyle smiled, scratching the back of his neck, slowly growing nervous. he didn’t knew if stan staring at him was a good or bad thing.
“i’m sorry too kyle.”
he bit his lip harder
“i.. i wasn’t really that far from an asshole either. going all silent out of nowhere.. not talking to you and isolating myself n’shit.. you- you don’t.. do that to someone you l-like.”
stans cheeks were burning, a lump forming in his throat. when did it get this hot?
or was it just the weed?
“stan, i don’t blame you for that. i was..”, he sighed. “i was being all stupid and weird and.. i don’t even know. i just know, that i regret it. i miss you dude. i miss.. us”
stans heart started pounding
fast
his hands were getting shaky, his legs jittery and his stomach feeling all weird.
shit, was this a panic attack?
was he greening out?
kyle looked up to him now, their eyes meeting again.
wait, were kyles eyes always this emerald green?
they looked at each other, stan trying not to look at his lips and zone out.
kyle slowly placed his hand on stans now
holding his shaky cold hand into his steady warm one.
it was something they always had done as kids.
but now it was noticeably different and they could both feel it.
without even noticing it, their faces moved closer, stans breathing stopping suddenly when his upturned nose slightly touched kyles pointy one on accident.
it was silent, yet both were speaking more than a thousand words.
their lips hovering over one another, stan could feel kyles warm and shaky breath on them.
finally, kyle closed the gap between them, their lips meeting each other in a gentle, but unsure way.
stans lips were chapped and he could taste the weed, yet he didn’t mind.
he would never mind
stan flicked off the joint, bringing his shaking hand up to kyles neck and pulling him closer.
the black haired teenager had kissed many people before, but none were so full of feelings before.
not even the ones with wendy
his heart jumped when he felt kyles tongue, yet he wasn’t complaining and their tongues met.
stan doesn’t think he ever had a tongue kiss this gentle before
every time he had one, they were just full of sexual intentions, sexual desires and lust.
yet this kiss
no sexual intentions
no sexual desire
no lust
they slowly backed away again, both trying to catch their breath from this heavy long kiss, their foreheads touching.
just love